← anything goes with emma chamberlain
Loading summary
Transcript3 lines
- [00:00]
A
Somebody said something interesting to me the other day. They said, emma, you know, you kind of feel like a grandmother stuck in a 24 year old's body. And when they said this, I took a pause and immediately a bunch of thoughts and feelings that had been bubbling below the surface came to the surface. And I had an epiphany that my life is kind of boring, considering my age. I'm 24 years old. My life is shockingly boring. When I think about what it means to be 24 years old, based on stories from my elders, the media, et cetera, I think of chaos, mess, fun, mistakes, irresponsibility, everything that my life is not. Basically, my life is really tame. I don't drink alcohol, I don't do drugs, I don't go to very many parties. I can't tell you the last time I went to a club, okay? I don't have a lot of sex. I'm like the relationship type. I go to bed at a reasonable hour. I eat healthy, I exercise. I have a routine that I stick to. I'm incredibly disciplined. I try to do the right thing. I think I'm pretty good at doing the right thing. My life is really tame. And as much as this is sort of a wonderful thing, like in theory, isn't it wonderful to live a life like this? I feel like a lot of young people actually are striving to live a life like this. And by some miracle I have found myself in this position where I'm living a really beautiful, healthy life. But I found myself feeling really bored in it and understimulated. Looking at other 24 year olds and thinking, should I be living like that? Have I expedited my life in a way and ended up in a stage of adulthood that's more developed than where I should be? Am I wasting my youth being almost too responsible and living almost too healthy and too tame of a life too soon? It causes a sense of restlessness in me and it. It bothers me because it doesn't make sense. And so today I thought I'd investigate this feeling. I thought we could investigate this feeling and maybe try to resolve it. I want to either reintroduce a level of chaos into my life for the sake of youth because I'm only 24 once, you know what I mean? Or I want to find some level of satisfaction in the lifestyle that I've found myself living. Come up with some sort of plan. I briefly interrupt this episode to let you know that this episode is presented by Venmo. Okay, hear me out. Apparently you can earn cash back with your Venmo debit card. All you have to do is join Venmo Stash and boom. You get cash back when you shop at your favorite brands. It's kind of an awesome flex. With Venmo Stash, you can get up to 5% cash back at your fave brands. Just pick a bundle of your go tos to shop with your Venmo debit card and earn cash back at them. And you're free to mix things up. You can easily swap out your bundle of brands every 30 days. Start earning when you do more with Stash. Venmo Stash terms and exclusions apply. Max $100 cash back per month. See terms at Venmo Me Stash Stash terms. Now back to the episode. Let's start by analyzing how I developed my lifestyle, why I live the way that I do. Sort of grandmother esque in the eyes of some and kind of in the eyes of me too. Although I don't think I live like a grandmother. Like I'm not full on grandma. Like I don't think grandmothers are like popping a zin because yes, I am using the zinn. Still addicted to nicotine. That's like the one naughty thing that I do. I also occasionally will, I don't know, watch too many YouTube shorts. That feels kind of naughty in young, you know, I don't think grandparents are watching YouTube shorts, although I wouldn't be surprised. But anyway, let's discuss how I got here. Starting out with my sobriety. Okay. I don't participate in alcohol or drugs. Why? Because I have a terrible physical reaction. This is not by choice. This is not me being like, oh, it's, it's healthier to not, you know, participate in these things. I didn't wake up one day and read an article and then say, you know what? I'm done. No, with alcohol. I had to quit because I'm pretty sure I developed an allergy. Alcohol gives me hives and rashes on my face. No, actually, I don't know if it's hives. I get super red and like patchy red on my face when I drink sometimes. I also developed a nausea from drinking that I didn't used to get. Towards the end of my drinking career, if you will. Towards the end of my drinking, I. I'm having one glass of wine and getting so nauseous that I either feel like I'm gonna throw up or I actually do throw up. And the combination of everything to me was a sign that clearly alcohol doesn't work with my body, and it made me miserable. So I stopped drinking. And I haven't drank alcohol since October of 2024. Wait. Yeah, October of 2024. It's been over a year. And to be honest, I actually really like being sober. I'd be super anxious after a night of drinking. It made me feel gross, physically sluggish, just like, shit. I don't know. I enjoy not drinking. It's a bummer because I used to enjoy a little buzz at a party or something, you know, I used to enjoy the experience of going to a wine bar with friends and getting to fully participate. I do miss it to an extent, but it wasn't worth it. And I will say it has forced me to learn to be social sober, which I think is an incredible skill to have. So to me, it's okay. Drugs, marijuana, mushrooms, shit like that. Freaks me out. Marijuana. Every time I consume marijuana, I have a panic attack. I had such a bad panic attack from edibles one time that it permanently changed my brain. I'm not kidding. My brain has never been the same. It made me dissociate so badly for the first time. By the way, I'd never dissociated before. So no weed for me. Mushrooms. I've done mushrooms a few times. I actually really enjoyed it. But I'm a little bit too anxious these days to take anything like that. I'm too anxious of having a bad trip and then being stuck in it to the point where it's not even worth participating. And then any other drugs are just dangerous and bad and bad, bad, bad, bad, bad. So it doesn't matter. I wouldn't do those in any circumstance. So that's why I'm sober. These things just don't react well with me. Like, listen, if I wanted to reintroduce a little bit of chaos into my life, could I try drinking again? I guess, but I don't think. I don't think that's the root of the problem. I don't think being sober is the reason for my restlessness. Because honestly, when I look back at when I used to drink, it made me so anxious and unhappy. And that was at its best, when I was having the best reaction to it. The least uncomfortable, it was like severe anxiety. And then at worst, I was having. I would get a rash or be nauseous. You see what I'm saying? So I don't think that's the issue. Okay, next. I don't go out very much. I think there's a few reasons for this number one, my friends are older for the most part, between like five and maybe like five and nine years older than me. And the age difference is noticeable when it comes to going out because they've already gone through the going out phase of being in your 20s. They're now all in relationships, comfortable, satisfied, and, and they're, they don't feel the pull to go out as much as maybe I do being single and 24. So, you know, if your friend group doesn't want to go out, go to a club, doesn't want to go to a party just for the sake of going to a party, doesn't want to go to a bar just for the sake of going to a bar, you're not going to end up going, you know, you're going to do what the rest of the group wants to do. I don't necessarily mind this because in reality, I don't really even enjoy doing those things either. But there are times where I'm like, ugh, I'm itching to go out. I need to go out. I need to be social. My friends are like, Emma, we're tired, we're tired. No, no, that's not to say that I don't like that I never go out. I do go out sometimes. You know, I'll go to a party every once in a while. I will go to a bar every once in a while, but less frequently than other 24 year olds that I know. But as I said though too, I don't want to go to a club. It's too loud, it's not fun unless you're under the influence of something, which I obviously am not. It's just not. It just doesn't work for me. I, if anything, I prefer something more social like a party or a bar, but even that is sort of hit or miss. Like I'll find myself itching to go out. Itching, itching, itching to go out. And then I'll go to a bar or go to a party or something and I'll be like, ew, I'm bored. This is not that fun. People are, you know, being maybe less social than I expected. It's. This is just less stimulating than I anticipated. Like, I could have skipped that. This episode is brought to you by hbo. Max Industry is back. The acclaimed HBO original series returns for another thrilling season when a splashy fintech startup bursts onto the London scene. Harper and Yasmin are drawn into opposing sides of a high stakes financial deal that could bring them both down in the market. Perception is everything. Who is telling the truth and who is dealing in lies? Kiernan Shipka, Max Minghella and Charlie Heaton join Kit Harington and the cast for the wildest season yet. HBO's Industry is now streaming Sundays at 9pm on HBO Max. This episode is brought to you by Ebay. Tell me if I'm alone here, but shopping used to feel more fun before all the algorithm fed blah and the endless sea of dupes. But I have a confession. I found that fun feeling again on ebay. It's not mindless scrolling, it's a fashion pursuit. And when you score that rare sneaker or that bag you've been manifesting, it's a rush. Ebay has millions of pre loved finds from hundreds of brands backed by ebay. Authenticity Guarantee Ebay Things People Love Moving on to my sort of boring love life okay, I am usually in a long term relationship when I'm not. Like right now. I don't really like casual hookups and I don't love serial dating. If you don't know what serial dating is, serial dating is According to the Internet, a serial dater is someone who frequently dates many different people in succession, often moving quickly from one relationship to the next without much downtime. Driven by a love for the thrill of new romance, avoiding commitment, fearing loneliness, or seeking validation and attention. They enjoy the early exciting stages of dating, but get bored easily or shy away from deep commitment. When I think of an exciting love life for someone in their early 20s, I think of having sex, making out with random people at the bar, going home with people and having sex. I think of going on a bunch of first dates that are like shitty and being like, God damn it, that one was bad. That one was bad too. Now I need to go on another date or oh my God, I'm in love with this person. Just to then be like, ew, I hate them a week later. Like this sort of excitement drama. I've tried it a little, you know, I've tried the casual hookup thing and without fail, every single time I feel icky afterwards, I don't feel good, I feel gross. And I don't think that has anything to do with societal expectations or beliefs or feelings around casual sex. I I actually don't think it has anything to do with external factors like that. I think it's strictly the experience of being romantic with somebody that I am not close with. I don't necessarily feel 100% comfortable and safe with. That experience, to me, is icky. I'm attracted to safety as much as I'd love to be. Like having random sex and stuff. Because there is something satisfying about that. When you're single, it's sort of a, I don't know, it makes you feel in control of. Hmm, how do I put this? Having casual sex is a reminder that you're attractive, that people want to be with you, that they're attracted to you. Which is reassuring in a moment of singlehood. I absolutely have moments when I'm single. Experiencing it right now where I'm like, does mama still got it or what? Like, does anyone like me? Or it would be nice if someone would be really interested in me, like, would be interested in me sexually. Because I'm a little nervous that people don't, that no one likes me. Do you know what I'm saying? And this is just the truth of it, the reality of it. If I were to do that, it would be, I think, for the wrong reasons. And that's not the case for everybody, but the case for me. And so that's why I don't have casual sex. It sounds like it would be fun, but every time I've done it, it has not been fun. Could I potentially get out there and experiment and try it again? I could, I could. But I'm at the risk of not honoring my past experiences in potentially putting myself in a situation where I'm deeply uncomfortable at my own hand. And why would I? It's like, so, yeah, I could do that. But then it's like that actually seems like I'm, I'm, I'm actively making a choice to ignore what I know about myself. And that seems self destructive. Like it, it just doesn't seem smart. In addition to not enjoying casual sex, I also don't like serial dating. The idea of going on a bunch of first dates and getting to the honeymoon phase with a bunch of different people and then cutting it off and then starting something new and fresh again. Even though it's a bit toxic, perhaps. It sounds fun, right? It sounds fun, it sounds exciting. But for whatever reason, I don't like the beginning stages in a relationship. I don't like the honeymoon phase. I like the part of the relationship when we're farting, we're super close. I don't feel like I have to read into what someone's saying. We can just be completely open because we've made a commitment to one another and, you know, a lot of the guesswork is taken out when that commitment is made. Like, I prefer the later stages in a relationship. If anything, the beginning is quite Stressful for me, I tend to overthink it, or not even overthink it, but I tend to sort of obsess over it in a way, because that's what's fun about it. It's a distraction. It's almost drug like in the beginning when you're so excited and you have such a big crush. It's all consuming. And to some that's an escape and that's fun and that's exciting. To me, that's exhausting and stressful and frightening. And I would rather just skip ahead to being in a committed relationship and being extremely comfortable together. Which is why I don't serial date. I have never even attempted serial dating. I have literally only ever gone on dates with guys I'm dating already, like, that are my boyfriend. I usually know when I want to date somebody before we've even gone on a date because either they're a mutual friend or we've started talking via text message and by the time we're like going on a date, we're already kind of dating. Does that make sense? And I never even. I've never even gotten into that stage with somebody who I haven't ended up dating long term. I don't go on random dates. The idea of serial dating exhausts me. It. It seems like an emotional rollercoaster, you know, getting into the honeymoon phase with somebody, and then once that starts to dwindle, leaving it and moving on to the next or whatever, or just going on a bunch of dates and having sort of a roster of like, these are all the guys I'm casually dating right now. Like, that experience, though, it seems more stimulating and interesting, also seems exhausting. And it actually is sort of unappealing to me. But as much as it is unappealing to me, I look at other people my age doing that and I again, kind of envy it. It seems like it would be so fun and exciting to date that way. But also I think deep down I know the reality wouldn't work for me. I'm not going to start having random sex and I'm not going to start building my dating roster of like 20 guys. 20 would be a lot. I don't even. I don't even think there's 20 guys in this. I don't know that. That. Yeah, that's not that. That's. Let's say five guys, burgers and fries. No. Okay, fine. Let's say six guys. Moving on. I live a very healthy lifestyle, okay? I exercise, I go on my morning walks, I go to my hot Yoga. I eat nutritious foods, things such as lentils, vegetables and fruits and proteins. I tend to cook for myself. I don't order food delivery very often. I live a very healthy lifestyle, which. Not in a toxic way though, I don't think at this point in my life, it's not like I don't eat dessert ever. It's not like I'm out at a restaurant with my friends and I'm like, no, no, no, I'm healthy, so I'm not going to have a bite of the pecan pie. That's not accurate. I of course, will eat the pecan pie. In fact, I'll probably eat more of it than anyone else because I love a dessert. But day to day, I'm going to my workouts, I'm going on my walks and I'm eating nutritiously and, and healthily. I don't know, in a weird way, I. When I think of being in your early 20s, I think of eating an entire bag of Cheez its for dinner. Staying up too late. I imagine laying in bed all day. Sometimes I imagine like, I imagine all these different things because you' when you're young, you can get away with it, you know, and you don't feel as bad. You don't feel the repercussions as severely. When you're young, you can get away with saying, fuck it, I'm not gonna exercise for two months. Fuck it, I'm not gonna eat any vegetables for two months. You can do that. And yet I very early in in my life discovered that I feel so much better when I live a very healthy life. And that also includes, you know, even going to bed early or not even necessarily early, but at a responsible hour and waking up at a responsible hour. There was a time I would say when I was a teenager where I did all the things I'm describing. You know, I'd eat an entire bag of Cheez its for dinner and have a terrible stomach ache from it. I would go to bed at 4 in the morning. I wouldn't exercise for months on end and you know, want to know what I felt like? Shit. I felt fucking terrible. I felt physically terrible, but also mentally terrible. I felt horrible. So it's very odd once again that I'm question like, I'm like feeling, I'm feeling restless about a lifestyle that does actually make me feel physically good. If I were to drop my healthy habits for the sake of chaos, which sounds ridiculous, but again, we're having a bizarre sort of conversation here because I'm experiencing A feeling that's sort of bizarre and confusing and doesn't really make any sense. If I were to drop all of my healthy habits and regress technically and go back and like start eating foods that aren't nutritious and sleeping bad hours and not exercising, I would hate my life. My life would, with my quality of life would be worse. That's not gonna work. So I don't know. This episode is brought to you by ebay. We all have that one piece. You know the one, the thing that's so you. You've basically become known for it. And if you don't have yours yet, you'll find it on ebay. Let me put you on people. Ebay is where you'll find those. One of a kind. Can't stop researching. Stay up dreaming about pieces again and again. I'm talking about that off the Runway red leather bomber that you've had your eye on. The trendy top with the cowboy on it, or that sleek fleece from the 2017 colorway. All of these finds are on ebay. They even offer millions of main character pieces backed by authenticity guarantee. Ebay is the place for pre loved in vintage fashion. EBay, things people love. Now back to the episode. Next. I stick to a very consistent routine. Like my life for the most part is consistent and pretty mundane. Like it rarely deviates from routine. Same thing every single day. Which I think is pretty common for most people of all ages. But my particular routine feels very. It feels a bit, it does feel a little bit Grandma coded. The spark notes of my daily routine is wake up early, make my coffee. Recently I've been journaling. Go on a walk, do chores, work, take a break from working, exercise, come home, get back to work, cook dinner. Oh, probably earlier in the day I cooked something for breakfast and lunch, do more chores, feed my cats. I also fed my cats earlier in the day too. Talk to my loved ones on the phone, go to bed, repeat. Now let me ask myself, what do I think most 24 year olds are doing on a day to day basis? Probably the same thing. But when I imagine the lifestyle of others in their early 20s, I think of people going out to dinners on weeknights, going to parties on weeknights, waking up late on accident. I don't know. Like it just a little bit more. Ah, je ne sais quoi. Or not even je ne sais quoi, but like a little bit more chaos. You know what I'm saying? My, it's like so chill. My life, it's so relaxed. It's like, it's so consistent and so simple and so healthy. But I think probably most people like that's probably most people's routine. So I don't know why I'm sort of. It seems that what I'm doing is as I'm describing all of this, it seems that I'm doing two things. Number one, I'm creating a false version of what a normal 24 year old's life looks like. A romanticized version, a dramaticized version. And I'm comparing my life to that. And that comparison is making me feel restless. What I'm comparing my life to is something that is ultimately not real and is seems more fun and more loose and more exciting and maybe even happier because I'm romanticizing it a little bit. And as they say, the grass is always greener. It's almost like I'm looking at what I think other 24 year olds are doing and I'm like, wait, that looks more fun. I'm all buttoned up over here, I'm being responsible and it feels so boring. The grass is always greener. It seems that's the first thing that's going on here. The other thing that seems to be going on here is that I think in order to live my life this way, I have to be very disciplined. And I think the level of discipline that it takes to live my life the way that I do is sort of fatiguing for me in a way. Those things don't necessarily come naturally and the lifestyle itself is a bit understimulating for me. And so I find myself between sort of a rock and a hard place here where I'm like, okay, I can't go backwards. I know better. You know, after analyzing my lifestyle, I don't see any areas where I could in good faith regress. Like, why would I regress? Technically, it's like I've actually arrived at a really good place here and I. To go backwards is stupid. It's actually stupid. But I'm feeling restless. So what is that restlessness? And it seems that the restlessness is stemming from a combination of comparison and also there being a lack of stimulation in my life. My disciplined routine, healthy life is not stimulating enough for me. So how do I address these issues? Let's brainstorm together. What should I do? What should I do? To start, I think I need to work on being mindful about this. I think I need to integrate a bit of mindfulness. When I find myself comparing my life to other fictional 24 year olds, I need a reality Check. A self inflicted reality check. I think number one, I need to stop romanticizing things I know don't work for me just because the fictional 24 year old in my head that I'm comparing myself to has a bunch of fun with a roster of six people that they're dating at once and they went to bed at five in the morning because they were clubbing all night. I need to remind myself why I don't do those things I could if I wanted to. Why don't I do them? Because I know better. Because I know that it doesn't work for me. Because I know it actually makes me miserable. So I need to remind myself that I'm comparing myself to a fictional 24 year old for one. And also remind myself why I don't do those things. Remind myself of the times when I have done those things and how I felt instead of just subconsciously sort of gnawing on this fictional 24 year old character in my head. I need to bring that to the forefront of my head and address it head on and remember the truth of the situation. Next, I need to stay in my own lane. It doesn't matter what anyone else is doing. I need to stay in my own lane and focus on my own life. I need to put my energy towards my life and ignore what other people are doing or what other people are saying about what I'm doing. It doesn't matter. I need to put my head down and stay in my lane when I catch myself comparing my life to a fictional 24 year old or even a real 24 year old because that actually does happen sometimes too. I. I would say most of the time I'm comparing myself to sort of this idea of what I think I should be doing at my age. But sometimes it is an actual real person. I need to focus on me. Everybody's on their own journey. I know that I need to remind myself of that when I find myself struggling with this. And lastly, I think I need to focus on gratitude for how good my lifestyle makes me feel. Because I haven't always felt this good and I rarely take time to be grateful for how good I feel. I put a lot of effort into feeling good. I should take a minute every once in a while to acknowledge how good I feel compared to how bad I used to feel when I was younger and I hadn't implemented the habits that I've implemented. Attempting to turn my restlessness into gratitude might be the move. Moving on from mindfulness, I've also tried to think about some activities That I could integrate into my life. That maybe would help with this feeling of restlessness. Number one, cooking meals from scratch. I actually already started doing this. It was one of my New Year's resolutions. I want to cook things really from scratch. Like, not just like, oh, you know, I got like, a loaf of bread from the store, and then now I'm going to make avocado toast on that bread that I bought from the store. I want to start making my own bread. Or like, you know, instead of going and getting a can of soup from the grocery store, I want to make my own soup. I've really gotten into it, and I've really loved it. Do I think that it's solved my feelings of restlessness? No, but it's not completely. But it has helped. So I want to continue doing that and continue cooking things from scratch because it's so immersive. You're so immersed in the experience, and there's such a wonderful reward. Yummy food. I think the distraction and the excitement of that, at least for me, has been helpful. So I'm going to continue doing that and continue to make more and more challenging recipes, because I think the challenge is what makes it riveting. Another thing I want to start doing, hosting social gatherings, either at my house or out somewhere. I think it is really important for me to be social, and I've found that the more social that I'm being, the less restless I feel. But I will say that, you know, the traditional methods of socializing seemingly don't work for me, right? Like, I don't love going out to the club. I don't love going out even to a bar or a party. So perhaps I could put together some sort of social gathering that appeals to me and will probably appeal to others, Whether that's like, you know, a weekend trip with a group of friends or a dinner party at my house, or a dinner party at a restaurant or a game night. I need to host more gatherings that are interesting to me. I can't rely on other people to create these experiences for me. If I want these experiences more frequently in my life, I need to put the effort in, and I need to actually create these experiences. Instead of waiting for these things to pop up a few times a year, why don't I create them? And last but not least, try to become friends with more boys to help with my dating craving. Obviously, I feel like my love life is very boring and understimulating. Well, why don't I become friends with more boys and develop crushes on them? That seems like the perfect happy medium. And that's something I've wanted to do anyway, but it's just hard. But perhaps I could become friends with more boys through hosting social gatherings. I can say, bring whoever you want to my social gathering and who knows, some cute boys might come and then I could become friends with them. And then I could have crushes on them. And then, you know, I'm not going to serial date them. I'm just going to be friends. And then when I really like one of them, eventually I'll confess my love. Or I will wait until they confess their love to me because I am too scared, usually to make the first move. Okay, so those are some ideas of activities that could help with my restlessness. Last but not least, I think I could benefit from a bit more spontaneity. I think there's a way to be spontaneous without regressing in reintroducing bad habits. Right? Spontaneity, I think could help bring some excitement into my life. It's excitement without chaos. This episode is brought to you by TaxAct. Like breaking down spoilers, TaxAct guides you through every step of your taxes with accuracy guaranteed. Get tips along the way. Add Expert Assist to talk to tax experts or let their experts do your taxes for you. With Expert full service, TaxAct helps you find the deductions and credits you deserve so you can get them over with. Visit taxact.com to learn more. Conditions apply. See taxact.com for details.
- [31:30]
B
Hey there, you're here. Cause you know that in life, anything goes and whatever comes your way, you want to have options. Plan B Emergency contraception is one of those options. It's backup birth control you take after unprotected sex to help prevent pregnancy before it starts. It's legal and available in all 50 US states and there's no age restriction so anyone can buy it. And in case you're wondering, it won't impact your future fertility. Together we've got this. Follow Plan B on Insta Plan B One Step Use as Directed this episode.
- [32:01]
A
Is brought to you by Squarespace. No matter what you do, Squarespace is the place to offer your services and get paid. From easy design tools and domain setup to built in SEO, Squarespace makes it simple to create a site that looks great and gets found. Head to squarespace.com emma for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, use offer code EMMA to save 10% on your first purchase of a website, website or domain. This episode is brought to you by State Farm Insurance May all Seem the same on the surface, but having insurance isn't the same thing as having State Farm. It's like asking your stylist for a chic pixie, but ending up with a can I speak to the manager? Haircut. You wouldn't settle for a horrible hairstyle, so don't settle for just any insurance. When it comes to getting the help you need, State Farm is the real deal. Like a good neighbor, State Farm. Is there a few. A few ways I could be spontaneous? Number one, saying yes to every opportunity to travel. Or maybe not every opportunity to travel, but there are times when I'm so in the minutiae of my routine, I'm like, ah, I don't want to travel right now. So an opportunity to travel might come up and I might pass on it because I am so in the flow of my routine that I don't want to do it. I think travel is a great opportunity to be spontaneous, to sort of shake up your reality a little bit. So if, like, all my friends are like, hey, we're doing a little weekend trip to here, you know what, fuck it, I'll cancel some responsibilities that I had that weekend to go and do that, because I think that that's really important to me. That's. That's what I'm talking about. Now, is that going to come up on a monthly basis even? Probably not. But as often as these types of things come up, I should try to take those opportunities. Also a less extreme version, and probably a more frequent opportunity. Saying yes to spontaneous plans with friends. Again, as I said, with the travel, I will sometimes be like, ugh, you know, like, I had plans to work this weekend because I didn't get as much done this week as I wanted to. And nobody made any plans with me this weekend. So I'm gonna work this weekend. And then if spontaneous plans were to come up that weekend, I'd be like, oh, no, I can't. So I'd skip out on the fun activity. Less of that. More saying yes. Because ultimately those memories are more important. You know, you listen, there are times when you gotta get done what you gotta get done. But clearly I'm experiencing an extreme where it's like, I don't have enough spontaneity in my life. You know, I could use a little bit more than I have. So I'm gonna attempt to say yes to more spontaneous plans with friends and maybe even create more spontaneous plans with friends. You know, if I'm bored on a Saturday afternoon instead of laying around or whatever or filling that Time with responsibilities. Why not call my friends up and say, should we just go to Disneyland tonight? Randomly? Like shit like that? I don't know. Another idea would be to make an effort to break routine by trying a new grocery store, a new coffee shop, a new workout class, et cetera. I've talked about this before because occasionally I will do this, and without fail, every single time. It is such a grounding experience that forces me to be present. I'm such a creature of habit that anytime I change one little thing in my routine, it really like shocks my brain out of autopilot and I'm forced to be present in such a beautiful way. Every once in a while it's really nice to sort of shake up the minute details in routine. I think I could do that a little bit more often. And I think when I find myself feeling restless, that might be a time to try something new or even potentially like changing up my work week. Maybe instead of taking Saturday and Sunday off one week, I take Monday and Tuesday off. Minute little tweaks in routine can really kind of energize you in a weird way. I don't know. So I need to integrate a little bit more of that into my life, perhaps. Here's the thing, I don't really know what's going on. The reason why I wanted to talk about it is because I feel like people might look at my life and my lifestyle and think, wow, you know, she has her shit together, she lives such a healthy, responsible lifestyle. You know, I don't feel like my life is like that. I feel like I need more discipline or I feel like I need to be more responsible or I feel like I need to focus more on my health and well being. I feel like people might look at my life and be like, and compare and feel bad. And I wanted to discuss this because I wanted to show you that the grass is always greener. You can really have your shit together. And still and just because of how the world works, because of how human brains work, we'll still find something to whine about, you know what I'm saying? I don't know. And I think it's just proof that there's always more work to do. You've like, there's no such thing as arriving. You, you're never going to exist in a perfect version of your life. There's always going to be work to do. And it's shocking to me that I'm probably living the healthiest, most fulfilling version of my life I ever have in my life. And I'M and I'm feeling restless within it. How hilarious is that? But hopefully in like six months from now I can come back to you and tell you how I resolved the feeling of restlessness. I mean, I think analyzing it to this extent has helped me a lot and I have somewhat of a plan moving forward. Some things to try, but I'll keep you updated. The intent of this episode was not to answer questions. It was more to just explore. So we'll see. Give me a few months and maybe I'll get back to you. That's it for this episode. I hope you enjoyed it. If you did this. 24 year old grandma posts new episodes of Anything Goes every Thursday. If you want to watch video that's on YouTube and Spotify, listen anywhere else, you get podcasts on social media at Anything Goes. I'm on the Internet at Emma Chamberlain and my coffee company is Chamberlain Coffee. That's all for today and I'll talk to you in a week from now. I love you all, I appreciate you all and I'm gonna go do some grandma shit like bird watching and like crocheting and making cookies for my grandkids. That's what I'm gonna go do. So I'll talk to you later. I actually don't do any of that stuff except for making. Well, I do love birds and I do love watching them, but I don't have binoculars and I don't have grandkids. But I do like cooking and baking, so I have been doing that lately. So I guess I have been doing that too. And I don't crochet. That is a step too far. I'm not ready to crochet yet. I have the second half of my life to crochet. So we're waiting on that for as long as possible. Okay. Anyway, I love you all. I appreciate you all. Thank you for listening. Talk to you soon. Talk to you next week. Love you and bye. I just said all of that, I think twice. So anyway, okay, love you, bye.