Podcast Summary: "i should take my own advice"

Podcast: anything goes with emma chamberlain
Host: Emma Chamberlain
Date: September 10, 2025

Episode Overview

In this intimate and insightful solo episode, Emma Chamberlain explores the irony of being an “advice giver” who struggles to follow her own wisdom. With honesty and self-deprecating humor, she unpacks the advice she commonly shares—about burnout, comparison, self-esteem, relationships, anxiety, and more—and vulnerably discusses how difficult she finds it to practice what she preaches. The episode is both relatable and grounding, as Emma reveals her own ongoing battles with the very issues she tries to help others with.

Key Discussion Points

1. The Disconnect Between Giving and Taking Advice

• Emma sets the stage by confessing that although she’s known for giving advice, she rarely follows it herself.
• Quote [00:45]: "Having the wisdom to be able to give advice is one thing, but executing on advice is a whole other thing. It takes discipline to handle things the right way."
• Admits that advice often comes from personal bias and is easier to conceptualize than to apply.

2. Burnout: Recognizing it and Really, Truly Resting

• Emma’s go-to advice: When feeling burnt out, listen to your body and slow down, focusing only on what's essential ([05:00]).
  • “The only thing on the agenda should be what needs to be done… until you start to feel better.”
• Describes her own cycles of burnout, stemming from overwork and avoidance of rest, even in creative hobbies and exercise.
  • “I’m never just sitting down and resting. This is self-inflicted… I think there’s some sort of, like, fucked up reason why I have a tendency to run myself into the ground.” ([10:28])
• Reflects on the underlying root: using productivity and busyness to distract from anxiety.

3. Comparison and the "Thief of Joy"

• Emma frequently responds to listeners troubled by comparison with:
  • “Comparison is the thief of joy.” ([26:10])
  • Emphasizes that we often romanticize other people's lives without knowing the full reality.
• Despite knowing this, Emma admits she falls into comparison herself and sometimes lets it fester for months before snapping out of it.
  • “It’s like whack a mole… sometimes you’re gonna miss that you had rats in your walls and they’ve been pooping in there and now it smells like poop.” ([29:56])

4. Dating and Emotional Vigilance

• Advises others to stay emotionally vigilant in relationships, so love/lust don’t cloud judgment about red flags.
• Admits she still has a tendency to jump to premature conclusions or ignore warning signs, though she’s gotten better.
  • “I used to date somebody and be like, I’m marrying them like a month in... I’d be like, it’s totally fine, it’s no problem, I don’t even care.” ([33:48])

5. Worrying About What You Can't Control

• Emma knows it's logically pointless to stress over uncontrollables—yet she finds this is the hardest piece of advice to follow, especially as her anxiety increases with age ([35:00]).
  • "It’s so fucking hard... It’s just a mindset shift, and it gets easier with practice. But again, it’s like whack a mole."

6. The Importance of “Touching Grass” (Literally, Not Metaphorically)

• Advocates for going outside and being in nature as a grounding practice.
  • “Humans need to be in nature. It grounds us, it brings us joy, it puts things into perspective.” ([40:18])
• Despite this, Emma laments rarely going outside—her life and work are all indoors.
  • “I know I should and I know it would make me feel better, but it seems like too much work and it’s hard for me to motivate to do it.”

7. Confidence Rooted in Character, Not Appearance or Success

• Advises listeners to base confidence in character rather than appearance or career achievements.
  • “I am pretty good at this, like, 60% of the time... If I don’t keep tabs on it, my sense of self and confidence will go into the wrong places.” ([44:13])
• Shares she is particularly affected by appearance-based self-esteem and sometimes goes months before addressing it.

8. The Trap of People-Pleasing

• Champions honesty over people-pleasing and highlights its harms: “Being a people pleaser is ultimately very harmful... It’s also kind of like a social cop out in a way.” ([47:28])
• Acknowledges she still falls back into old patterns, especially in unfamiliar or work-related situations.

9. The Necessity of Peace, Quiet, and Boredom

• Talks about the importance of boredom for creativity and recharge.
  • “If you’re afraid of boredom, it’s because you’re running from something…” ([51:45])
• Notes her habit of filling every moment with “productive” distraction, even if it’s just replying to unnecessary emails rather than truly resting.

10. Handling Meanness and Personal Sensitivity

• Often says: “When people are mean to us, it’s because they’re hurting. Hurt people, hurt people.” ([54:30])
• Admits she remains sensitive and sometimes takes things personally, even knowing this intellectually.

11. Seeking Professional Help

• Advises struggling listeners to seek professional help, though she admits she usually doesn’t follow this herself.
  • “There are so many psychological challenges that I probably should be seeing some sort of professional for... I give that advice a lot and I don’t always take it.” ([58:43])

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Executing Advice:

  • “Having the wisdom to be able to give advice is one thing, but executing on advice is a whole other thing.” ([00:45])

• On Burnout and Control:

  • “I’m kind of addicted to working on things, I think, because it distracts me from anxiety, it makes me feel in control, and I’m a control freak.” ([12:36])

• On Being Honest about People Pleasing:

  • “Being a people pleaser is ultimately very harmful. It’s just taking the easy way out.” ([47:45])

• On Boredom and Distraction:

  • "If you’re uncomfortable with peace and quiet, it’s very easy to avoid peace and quiet." ([52:00])

• On Professional Help:

  • “I would probably benefit from a bit of professional intervention. Like, how could it hurt? But I probably should follow that advice.” ([58:47])

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:00: Introduction – Emma’s reputation for advice and the irony of not following it.
• 05:00: Burnout – Advice and personal struggles with rest.
• 26:10: Comparison – Advice, personal confessions, and why it lingers.
• 33:48: Dating vigilance – Why it’s hard to be critical when in love.
• 35:00: Worrying about uncontrollables – The ongoing challenge.
• 40:18: “Touch grass” – Benefits of being outdoors and her difficulties making it happen.
• 44:13: Confidence in character – Drift toward appearance-based self-esteem.
• 47:28: People-pleasing – Social costs and difficulty breaking the habit.
• 51:45: Value of boredom – Boredom as escape and necessity.
• 54:30: Dealing with mean people – Intellectual vs. emotional responses.
• 58:43: Professional help – Advocating for therapy while rarely partaking herself.

Tone and Language

True to Emma’s style, the episode is candid, self-aware, and scattered with humor and metaphors (“Your brain is like a home… you miss that you had rats in your walls and now it smells like poop.”). She doesn’t hesitate to use informal language, speak directly to the audience (“Let me put you on people”), and interject with personal anecdotes that make the advice feel personal, not prescriptive.

Final Thoughts

Emma wraps up by owning the contradictions and struggles of being an advice-giver who sometimes “devalues” her own advice by admitting her imperfections. She encourages listeners to remember that even those who give advice are still figuring things out themselves, and that’s okay.

For listeners:
This episode is a refreshingly honest take on why the simplest truths and best advice are often the hardest to put into practice in daily life—even for those who seem to have all the answers.