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Listen, I know what you're thinking. Okay. Hey, haven't I seen this podcast episode title before? This sounds familiar. I feel like Emma already talked about this. Yes. Okay, I did. This is a rerun episode. This came out probably months ago, but I'm on my holiday break right now. Yeah, I'm resting, I'm recharging, I'm healing my inner child. I'm completing my winter arc. It's all happening right now. I'm taking a few weeks off. But just because the episode's a rerun doesn't mean it's not good. So give it a listen anyway. And don't worry. I'll be back on January 16, 2025, for our regularly scheduled programming back to Thursdays and Sundays for another year. Happy holidays. I love and appreciate all of you, and I'm sending you all of my love and light now. Without further ado, enjoy this rerun episode. If you're a longtime listener of Anything Goes, you might remember a little series I used to do here on Anything Goes called Advice Session, where I would ask you, the listener, to submit current challenges and struggles that you're dealing with. And I would take a few of them and give my advice. I think the reason why I stopped doing this series was because I had imposter syndrome about whether or not I had the credentials to give advice. I don't. I still don't. Nothing has changed. I have absolutely no credentials now, and I had absolutely no credentials then. However, I enjoy giving advice. I don't know why. Maybe it's some sort of maternal instinct inside of me that makes me excited about giving advice, but I enjoy it. And so we're bringing it back. Okay, we're bringing it back. I posted on the Instagram, nthingthing goes, submit your current challenges. What's happening? What do you want advice on from me? And a lot of you responded, and we got some great ones. Okay? And so today, I'm going to be giving you my unprofessional advice based on my own life experience. Take it with a grain of salt. But also, my intentions are good. Okay. My intentions are great. I want you to win in this life. But, yeah, still take it with a grain of salt. Okay. Someone said, I'm 19 years old and I've never been in a relationship. I feel very behind and embarrassed. I completely relate to this because When I was 17, I moved to Los Angeles, and I had never been in a relationship. Now, in retrospect, I know I was a child. I was 17, fresh out of high school. It's completely normal to not have been in a relationship before. But moving to LA was really jarring because I was now placed in this environment where there were a lot of mature teenagers. I was hanging out with kids who were 19, 20, and all of them were light years ahead of me. They'd been living in LA since they were, some of them like 15, 16, adults. They felt like adults. Yeah, they're 19, 20 year olds, but they felt like adults. Meanwhile, I'm this little 17 year old waltzing in, naive, in every single category, A virgin, never had sex, barely kissed a boy. Like, literally did not. Like, yes, I had kissed some boys, but I didn't know what I was doing. Like, I wasn't confident in my abilities. I was a complete fish out of water. And I felt so behind and so embarrassed. And I know some of you might be thinking, emma, you were 17, like that is to be expected. But I moved into a culture that was very different. Like what was normal in LA was to have already had three relationships and a whole lot of sex by 17. Meanwhile, I've done nothing. So I'm aware that that's sort of a unique scenario. But all this to say, I understand the feeling. I understand the feeling of being behind. And I think what that really stems from is comparison. If you're comparing your life to the norm or the popular route around you and you're a little different from that, you're gonna feel weird, you're gonna feel behind, you're gonna feel embarrassed. And I know that it feels too simple to say, hey, listen, comparison is the thief of joy. Stop comparing and you'll feel free. But that's sort of true. Like, that's kind of where it starts. It's so important to remember that your timeline is uniquely yours. And there's kind of no wrong way to do it when it comes to dating, relationships, sex, intimacy. I mean, in general, with all things. But to answer this question specifically, it is so your own journey and other people's timelines have nothing to do with yours. Now, I would stop there, but I know that there's more to it. Like, if it was that simple to be like, don't compare your life to other people. Everybody's a little different. It's like, yeah, okay, thanks, thanks for that. Like, I could have figured that out. I think what's the most reassuring is that when it comes to sex and relationships and intimacy and all these things, you would be shocked, and you will be shocked at how quickly you catch up. Like, my first relationship was with somebody who Was incredibly experienced. Had had many relationships before me, had had a lot of sex before me. Had done it all, okay? Had really. No, like, actually done it all. Like had more experiences than the average 30 year old. Probably just because of who they were and how, like, they just lived a lot of life. And I was so freaked out because I was the complete opposite. I had had no experience at all. And I have a crush on this person and I'm like, oh my God, like, I want to make this happen, but I don't know what to do. And they're so experienced and I'm completely inexperienced. What the fuck am I going to do? This person's not going to be attracted to me because I actually have never done anything. It's going to be so embarrassing. I'm going to be shaking, I'm going to be scared. And guess what? I was okay. I remember the first week that that relationship became intimate. I was in shambles. I was in shambles. I had no idea what to do. And you know what? This person was patient with me because they cared about me and they didn't judge me, which I'm so grateful for. That's very nice of them. And by the end of the week, it was like I knew what was up. There was no problem. I got caught up quick. Like, I think the key is communication. And I think that that's why it wasn't weird for me was because I was like, listen, you're a lot more experienced than me, so you're gonna have to be a little patient with me. Cause I don't know what the fuck is going on. And you're gonna have to help me learn along the way. There are a lot of things that you understand that you've already experienced, that I am just now experiencing for the first time. Hold my hand through this experience, you know, like, be on my team for this. Right? And I think if you're honest about that, it just takes all the weirdness out of it, really. I think where you go wrong is when you try to pretend that you're more experienced than you are. You know, you go into a situation with somebody who maybe has dated a bunch of people, whatever, and you're sort of fresh on the scene and you're playing it off like, nah, nah, I know what's going on. It's totally fine, it's totally cool. This is no problem. I've been here before, I've done this. And it's like, no, you fucking haven't. And that's fine. But you just have to Say that, or else you're setting an expectation for people like, oh, this person maybe has equal amount of experience to me. And then that's when it gets awkward. You're not going to ruin anything by being inexperienced. I think the only time you ruin anything or make things weird is when you aren't honest. I wish that I would have taken the pressure off of myself when I was younger to have my first relationship, have sex, do all these things. I wish I would have taken the pressure off of myself and just trusted that it was going to come at the right time. Because it did for me in the period of my life when I was rushing it, say in high school, I was miserable. Everything went wrong. It was chaos. You know, I'd, like, go and make out with a boy and I was too scared and I didn't trust the boy. And I would, like, try to make out with the most popular boy I could find that would like. Well, not that. Like, I would find. I would never seek it out. I'd wait for them to. But like, I was always striving for the wrong guy, just trying to prove to myself that I could do it. And it would always end up destroying me mentally because I was just trying to rush the process. I wasn't just letting it unfold naturally. Like, I would have been completely fine had I skipped out on all of the shitty high school bad hookups and just waited for my first relationship to do everything. Like, I would have been fine and it would have saved me a lot of grief. And you learn quickly. You figure it out. Like, we as humans, just. We're built to do this shit, you know what I mean? And so there's something to be said for just trusting yourself. It's never too late. There's nothing to feel behind about. There's nothing to feel embarrassed about. Your first relationship is coming, and it'll come into your life. When the universe decides if you believe in the universe or some sort of. Some sort of. Some sort of pull, some sort of spiritual presence in the world, the universe will bring that to you when it's time. I really believe that. Now you might not believe that, and that's totally fine. I'm not religious, but I do believe that things like this just tend to unfold almost in a divine way. Like, in retrospect, my relationship timeline unfolded so beautifully. You know, Like, I feel like my first relationship came at the right time in my life, and then every relationship following that has come at the right time in my life and has ended at the right time. In my life. And so I just tend to trust at this point. But there's nothing to be embarrassed about. In fact, if it makes you feel better, you could even be kind of silly about it. Like make a joke about it. Fuck it, make light of it, own it. That helps so much. Anytime I'm embarrassed or ashamed of something about myself, a weird coping mechanism for me is going in the opposite direction and owning it and talking about it. And that might not work for everyone. Okay? So trust me, it's okay if that doesn't work for you. It's kind of weird that it works for me, but I found so much power in that, so maybe that's something you could try too. But just remember that it's all gonna be okay. There's nothing to be embarrassed about and you're not behind. There's no such thing because there's no one singular timeline to live by. Welcome to Nadia Yada Island.
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I'm scared of the future. I'm a senior in high school and I don't know what I want to do with my life or who I want to be. Any tips? I think it's so ridiculous. No, see, here's the problem, okay? When you're a senior in high school, you're already deciding what college you're going to go to, if you want to go to college, or figuring out what your first job is going to be, if you're going straight into the workforce or if you want to go to trade school. Like you're already sort of figuring out what trade you want to get into. It is asking a lot of an 18 year old to make a big step towards their career when their brain isn't even fully developed yet. Like at 18 years old, your brain is not fully developed, I'm pretty sure. Should I google that or should I just say that fact and only vaguely know if it's true? I will Google it. The brain finishes developing and maturing in the mid to late 20s. So yeah, it's a really huge ask of an 18 year old to know what you want to do, know who you are, and start making steps towards that. However, it's an inevitable decision that must be made after high school. You need to figure out your next move, you know, but I think the problem is not that the 18 year olds need to figure out their next move. The problem is the pressure that schools and parents and friends put on these 18 year olds to have it all figured out. That's where the problem is. Because making a next move is crucial. You have to figure out what the fuck you're doing next after high school. You have to figure it out. Everyone does. But the problem is, is that that choice is almost always lumped in with, well, do you know exactly what you want to do with your future? Because if not, how are you going to make this next move? That's ridiculous to me and that's getting it all wrong. Because you can make your next move and not know what you want to do with your life. Like, I don't even know what I want to do with my life, okay? I left high school to pursue an Internet career. As we know, here I am doing it. Do I want to do this forever? Is this even going to last forever? Maybe not. I might pivot and go and do something else at some point in my life. For me, my next move was sort of presented to me in a very unusual way. You know, posting on YouTube became an option for a job and I was like, well, let me just pursue this while I can't. You know, it's here. I, I would be stupid not to pursue this. And that's gonna happen to some people in life where their next move is obvious. Whether they've had the same dream job since they were five years old. They've always wanted to be a veterinarian and they're pursuing that. So it's very obvious to go to veterinarian school. Veterinary, veterinary school, whatever. Or they've always wanted to be a coffee shop owner, so they go to business school and it's obvious. Or they've always wanted to be a lawyer, so they go to, you know, law school, whatever. It's like for some people, the next move's gonna be obvious. Maybe even for some people, it's like, I just wanna get married and be a stay at home mom, or I wanna get married and be a stay at home dad, whatever. And maybe they're marrying their high school sweetheart and they don't have to go do that. They can just get pregnant at like 20, you know what I mean? It's like for some people, it's clear, it's obvious, it's written in the stars. They've known it since they were young. It's whatever. For other people it comes right at the right time. It's like, oh my God, I had to make this decision and now suddenly I had this epiphany. Okay, yeah, but that's a small majority. I feel like most people are like, eh, I kind of know what I like, but I don't really know what I like. And that's fine, that's completely normal. I think it's important to remember that the pressure to know what's gonna happen next is not fair to you. It's not fair to you as a senior in high school. I don't think it's fair. It's a ridiculous thing to ask of a child. I think, well, I guess at 18 you're not a child anymore, but still sort of a child. I think 18 is still very much a child. You were a kid yesterday, you know what I mean? I think a better way of thinking about it is what's something that I'm interested in? What's something that I want to try out? What's something that excites me? Let's say you want to go to college and you're trying to figure out what to major in. Unless you have a clear idea of what you want your career to be, major in something that's interesting to you. That's the next right move. Major in something that you're interested in studying. Choose something that you're genuinely going to be excited about showing up to school for. If you can find that. If you don't even want to go to college and you're like, you know what? I just want to get straight into the workforce. Start getting little jobs in industries that interest you. You know, if you're like, well, you know, I've always sort of had a thing for food. I've always sort of been a foodie in a way or something. Maybe that's something that you're interested in. Go work at like a cute cafe that sells creative pastries nearby your house. I don't know. These are very simplified examples. But take the pressure off to see 10 years down the line and think about right now. What's interesting to you right now? What would inspire you to get out of bed every day right now and go and do that. And when it comes to not knowing who you want to be, does anyone know? I don't think anyone knows who they want to be. At 18. And anyone who thinks that they do will realize soon that who they want to be is changing. It just changed. Like again, you're not fully developed at 18. You're not fully there yet. You just. You're not supposed to know who you want to be yet. You haven't even existed in the real world yet. When you're a senior in high school, you have not lived in the real world. You have not functioned in the real world yet. You've lived in a high school sort of bubble, in a way. And not until you experience the real world can you have a clear understanding of who you want to be. I think because high school is sort of a bubble. You're there every single day, five days a week. It's sort of an echo chamber in a way, because you're around the same kids, the same teachers, every single day, you're in the same town. It's sort of an echo chamber. Not until your community becomes the world, when you graduate high school can you gather enough information to know who you want to be. Like when I left high school and I came to LA and I started meeting so many different types of people, and when I started traveling a bit more and meeting all different types of people, only then was I like, okay, now I'm starting to gather information and a well rounded amount of information. When you're stuck in that bubble, you cannot gather enough information to figure out who you want to be. It's impossible. Not until you're just in the world. I mean, don't get me wrong, there are some very worldly high schoolers and don't let me take that away from y'all. But I just think for the most part you're in a bubble in high school. You need to gather more information. You haven't lived enough life yet to know who you want to be. Okay, the next person said something similar, however, a little different. I'm starting my third year of college and still don't know what I want to do with my life. Obviously everything I just said for the last person applies here. But I think the difference here is that towards the end of college, the pressure, I imagine, grows even more to know what the fuck is going to happen next. But my argument still stands that it's ridiculous to expect someone in their 20s, early 20s, to know exactly what they want to do with their life. You're still a kid. Not really. You are an adult. But like, I don't know, it's still a lot to ask of someone in their early 20s to know exactly what they want to do with their life. And I think the same advice applies here. What's the next most interesting, inspiring thing that you can find? It might not be ideal, it might not be where you want to stay forever, but what's the best next option? You know what I mean? I also feel like a lot of confusion about one's future in today's day and age. I think there's this societal pressure to find this sparkly, shiny career and have that be one's purpose. And don't get me wrong, I think that that can be someone's purpose and that can end up being the conclusion that is came to. However, it doesn't need to be sparkly to be right for you. I think that that's where people forget to look when they're trying to figure out, okay, what's my passion or what's a job that I think would enhance my life in some way? People tend to overlook the less shiny options, and I think that that's where a lot of people get lost. I also think people fail to ask themselves, what do I actually enjoy doing? Like, when I think about the bare bones of what I personally enjoy doing, like, the most generic explanation of what I personally enjoy doing. Nothing specific, no specific sort of actions, but just overall in life, what do I enjoy doing? What are my hobbies? I like telling stories, for one. I also like organizing things. I kind of like solving puzzles sometimes. Like, not actual puzzles, but solving a puzzle of a problem. And I like comforting people and making people feel good. Okay, those are the things that I like to do. I like those things. And being aware of those things helps me make decisions in my life, but more specifically in my career, because I know that those are things that I like. So I go towards things that allow me to utilize those skills and those things that I enjoy. I think that that's a great starting point to be like, okay, most basic question ever. What do I like doing? Do you like movement? Like, do you like moving your body? Do you like talking to people? Do you like getting into the flow state and like, grinding solo on a project? Like, what do you like? The answer to the question is not as specific as, like, well, I like going shopping for groceries. And I like. It's even more stripped down than that. It's like, I like being told what to do and having a set of instructions and completing it. It's something like that. You see what I mean? That is a great place to start when you're trying to figure out what your next move is. And Then from there you can find things that fall into those categories and you can try those things out. And again, they might not be the most sparkly option. They might be the most sparkly option. It might be something very, very impressive, like starting an entrepreneurial endeavor, but it also might be something that's a little less societally sparkly. It might be something like, I don't know, it's not societally sparkly. It might be something like working for a garbage company or something like, it doesn't matter, but it's like what utilizes the part of your brain that you like to utilize and start there. And also just know that it's never too late to pivot. Okay? My dad's a great example of this. He was in a band. I've done an interview with him if you want to go listen to that. But he was in a band in his 20s, I believe, and that was potentially going to be his career. But then he ended up not doing that. And then he got into construction work and he was doing construction work for a while, and then he eventually became an electrician when I was a kid, up until I was honestly like a tween ager probably. And then eventually he became a full time artist, oil painter. And he started oil painting when I was a baby. Like, he started when he was probably 35, I think, or 32, in his 30s. He started in his 30s, long after college. And like, he doesn't care about how much money he makes doing art. He doesn't care that it's. Maybe it's less than if he had another job. He doesn't care because this is ultimately what he enjoys doing. And he got to where he is now by just taking the next most appealing step. He didn't have this grand plan to become a full time painter. He just, it happened. If somebody would have told that to him when he was like 20, he would have been like, what the fuck are you talking about? I'm not a great artist, you know? But now he's an amazing artist because he just fell into it. I don't know. So I think that it's important to remember that things can change. Like, you don't have to have it all figured out in your 20s. You don't have to have it all figured out in your 30s. Some people figure out what they really like to do in their 50s, but in the meantime, it's about just finding something that you enjoy in some way at least. Next, someone said, dude, my life looks so different than what most people want. Is that okay. Of course that's okay. It's so hard to take the traditional life trajectory off of the pedestal and to sort of unlearn it and realize that we're all on our own journey and it's going to look different for all of us, and it should look different for all of us, and that's okay. But my God, is it challenging? Because we see a certain trajectory praised online and in our communities. You know, if you're from maybe a smaller, more traditional town, what's praised is school and then more school and then job and then married and then kid and then retire and then die. Simple, traditional, easy, timeless, iconic. Everyone's doing it. You know what I mean? It's like that is what is praised and rewarded a lot of times. And then on social media, I feel like the lifestyle that's. I don't know. I mean, it depends on what corner of the Internet that you're in. But I think what tends to be praised is sort of the opposite, like entrepreneurship. Being independent, not getting married, not having kids, making a lot of money. That tends to be the lifestyle that is praised. Not always, I guess. I don't know. It depends. The Internet is just so vast that it's hard to say, but I see that a lot. But all of this to say, I think it's fucking cool when the life that people desire is different than the average. I think that that's cool. I also think it's cool when people want to go the average, not even average. I. I'm the common route. I even think that that's cool, too. There's no right or wrong way to live your life as long as you're working towards a fulfilling life in one way or another. And that can look a trillion different ways. You can find fulfillment from your career in some ways, in some circumstances. You can find fulfillment from family. You can find fulfillment not from your job at all. Your job is just something you do from nine to five. But you find fulfillment in your friendships or in your hobbies. You know, you might find fulfillment from a mixture of everything. You might find that you don't even want to have a job and you just want to marry someone who's rich and you want to be done like it doesn't matter. Who fucking cares. As long as you are taking steps towards a fulfilling life, there's no wrong way to do it. And I actually find that if you're someone who maybe craves a life that's a bit unusual, and you succumb to the pressure of fitting in and following the trajectory that's popular, you will end up miserable. You will be miserable. That will make your life suck. And at the end of the day, you have to live your life for you. Who else? Who cares? Who the fuck cares? Who cares? When you look at life through the lens of like, this is a blank canvas and I can do whatever the fuck I want with it because this is my life and the sky's the limit. I can do anything. Yeah, there might be challenges along the way, there might be roadblocks, whatever, sure. But this is all up to me, you know, I don't have to structure it in any specific type of way. I can get creative with it. When you start looking at life like that, you might still end up doing what is maybe common, but you'll come to that conclusion yourself instead of that conclusion being come to for you by society or the people around you. It's so important to embrace the blank canvas that life is. I'm so cringe today. Oh, my God. I'm like a fucking walking. I feel like a Pinterest quote today. Fuck. Like, this is just. This is just whatever. I. I love it. I'm cringe. I'm a little cringe sometimes. Sorry. But it's cute. You. It's cute. It's fine. It's cute and that's fine. Anyway, long story short, when you look at your life as a blank canvas and you embrace that and you look at that as a beautiful thing and an exciting thing, and you keep your eyes on your own fucking canvas and make a piece of art that looks good to you, who cares what other people think of it? This piece of art is for you. It's for your house. It's for your metaphorical house. Think of it like that. Think of your life as this magnum opus of an art piece. Okay? And you start with a blank canvas, and you can choose to paint this canvas however you want. It can be easy to look around and see what your friends and family are painting. It can be easy to Google online, like famous painters, what did they do? And copy. Yes, it can be tempting to do that. And maybe that's exactly what you want to do. Maybe that's what will bring you fulfillment. Maybe that truly is the best for you. Like, maybe that is actually the answer. Maybe that is your magnum opus is to do something sort of metaphorically Van Gogh esque. Because Van Gogh is right. You see what I'm saying? Okay, maybe that's the case. But what you have to remember is that this is your painting. This is your painting, and you're the one that has to live with it. No one else has to live with it in their house. This is the one painting that is in your house. Your metaphorical house. Only you have to live with it. Therefore, you must love it. Or you must try your best to love it. And every single day, you can add a little bit more paint, or you can scrape off a chunk of paint because you didn't like that chunk. Every day you're adding to this canvas, but you have to like it. It has to be painted for you. Yeah, other people are gonna see it when they come over to your house, but guess what? They leave your house, you're stuck in your house. It's your house. You live there, so you have to like it. Do you get what I'm saying? We feel pressure because it's like, oh, other people come over to the house and they see the painting and like, oh, my painting's kind of weird. Like, it's. It's different, but it's like. That's what makes it cool, though. You'll be shocked at how many people will come in and see your weird painting and be like, that's actually fucking cool, though. Like, I don't know that metaphor. That's all I have to offer. Okay with that one. But I hope that that was helpful. Okay, and last one of the day, someone said, how to genuinely stop caring what other people think and do what you want in life. In my experience, what's helped me sort of stop caring about what other people think is to make myself proud. If I'm proud of myself, then I don't give a fuck what other people think. And this is naturally a bit harder for me personally, because I have horrific imposter syndrome. It's better now than it used to be. And I actually have an episode about that. If you want to go, listen. But if I'm making myself proud, proud, then I don't care what other people think. Now, the sneaky thing is that we can be in search of making ourselves proud in the wrong areas. For example, for me, being successful in my career doesn't really make me feel proud of myself, unfortunately. It just doesn't. Because, yeah, if you look at it on paper, it's great. You know, maybe that's great. It is great. That's great. But. But that doesn't for some reason. And people and don't get. Relax. That does not fulfill me. That's not what fulfills me. I don't look in the mirror and feel proud of myself because my Career, on paper, looks like a success in many areas. That does not fulfill me. That does not make me feel proud, okay? What makes me feel proud is when my work ethic is on point. When I'm working hard and I'm proud of how much I'm working. Also when I'm doing good in some way for the world, that makes me feel proud. Being a good person makes me feel proud. When I treat other people kindly and I'm fair and I'm reasonable and listen, I'm not great at all this all the time. Sometimes my work ethic is shit. Sometimes I'm a piece of shit. I'm, like, calling my friends or, like, calling my parents or whoever, and I'm like, in a phase where I'm just being negative and I'm talking shit, and I'm just like, a piece of shit. You know what I mean? We all have phases like that. This happens. That's fine. But I know that that's what makes me proud of myself, is when I'm working hard and I'm being a good person, and that's when I'm the most proud of myself. And in those moments, I don't give a fuck what other people think. But when I'm slacking in those areas that I know make me feel proud of myself, that is when I start caring what other people think. To me, being a good person overall and doing my best, that sets me free. Because at the end of the day, being a good person and having a good work ethic, all of these things, they are far more important in the grand scheme of life than anything else. It's honestly the most important thing. And if you have that, then you can have a failing career at a given moment. And it doesn't matter, because you're a good person and you're working hard and you're trying your best, and that is the ultimate challenge. That's maybe why it's the most, like, I don't know, fulfilling thing is because we're all on an even playing field there as humans. Being a good person. Anyone and everyone can be a good person today. There's no barrier to entry. I mean, there is at times, depending on, you know, your challenges, maybe growing up. I mean, don't get me wrong, there are. There are, I guess, some barriers to entry, however, everyone can do it, yet it's so challenging to do the right thing and to make yourself proud. It is so hard, yet anyone can do it. And that's why it's so effective, I think, because it's something that we can all do and it does set you free. Anyway, so that was my little advice for today. Hey, I hope you enjoyed it and maybe you got something from it. Maybe you didn't. Maybe you didn't at all. Maybe you disagree with my advice and if that's the case, that is totally fine. If you wanna be included in a future advice session, go check out the Anything Goes Instagram at Anything Goes and you can DM anytime. But also we post on stories every once in a while and specifically ask for more current challenges. So either way, send them in and get my unprofessional advice if you enjoyed this New episodes of Anything Goes every Thursday and Sunday. Video episodes are exclusive to Spotify, but you can stream anywhere that you get podcasts. You can follow me on Instagram too if you want to keep up with me. Chamberlain, you can check out my coffee company. If you live in the us we might be in a store near you, so go check out the store locator on ChamberlainCoffee.com or you can just order it and it'll come straight to your door. Also on ChamberlainCoffee.com that's all I have for today. Love you all and appreciate you all and love hanging out and love giving you advice. And hopefully you like receiving advice. Maybe you don't. Sometimes I hate receiving advice, but I kind of like to hear advice and then I just choose little bits and pieces that apply to me. So anywho. Okay, that's all I have. I love you all. Talk to you very soon. Bye.
Podcast Summary: [REVISIT] You Are On Your Own Journey, Advice Session
Episode Details:
In this revisit episode of Anything Goes with Emma Chamberlain, Emma brings back her popular "Advice Session" segment to help listeners navigate personal challenges. Recorded during her holiday break, Emma delivers heartfelt and practical advice based on her own experiences, emphasizing the importance of individuality, personal growth, and self-acceptance.
Listener's Concern:
A 19-year-old listener expresses embarrassment and a sense of falling behind peers by not having been in a relationship.
Emma's Response:
Emma relates to the feeling of being behind by sharing her own experience of moving to Los Angeles at 17 without prior relationship experience. She highlights:
Comparison Trap:
[04:30] Emma states, "If you're comparing your life to the norm or the popular route around you and you're a little different from that, you're gonna feel weird, you're gonna feel behind, you're gonna feel embarrassed."
Unique Timelines:
She emphasizes that everyone's journey is unique, and societal standards should not dictate personal milestones. Emma advises embracing one's own pace and trusting that experiences will unfold naturally.
Communication and Honesty:
Reflecting on her first relationship, Emma shares, [08:15] "The key is communication. If you're honest about your inexperience, it just takes all the weirdness out of it."
Removing Pressure:
[09:45] Emma wishes she had taken pressure off herself during her younger years, advocating for allowing relationships to develop organically rather than rushing into them.
Listener's Concern:
A high school senior expresses fear about the future, uncertain about career paths and personal identity.
Emma's Response:
Emma tackles the overwhelming pressure placed on young adults to have their futures meticulously planned out by addressing:
Brain Development:
[12:10] "The brain finishes developing and maturing in the mid to late 20s... it's a ridiculous thing to ask of a child."
Alleviating Pressure:
She critiques the societal expectation for 18-year-olds to have a clear life path, suggesting that making decisions based on current interests rather than long-term plans can be more fulfilling.
Exploring Interests:
Emma encourages focusing on what excites and inspires one in the present moment. She advises, [16:25] "What's interesting to you right now? What would inspire you to get out of bed every day right now and go and do that."
Flexibility and Growth:
Highlighting her own career pivot, Emma shares her journey from high school to becoming a content creator, illustrating that it's okay for paths to change over time.
Listener's Concern:
A listener feels their life diverges from societal norms and questions its acceptability.
Emma's Response:
Emma passionately advocates for embracing non-traditional life choices:
Validation of Diverse Paths:
[20:45] "There's no right or wrong way to live your life as long as you're working towards a fulfilling life in one way or another."
Rejecting Societal Pressure:
She critiques both traditional trajectories and the glorification of entrepreneurship on social media, emphasizing that fulfillment doesn't have to align with mainstream expectations.
Personal Fulfillment:
Emma uses a powerful metaphor, stating, [23:30] "Think of your life as this magnum opus of an art piece... This piece of art is for you. It's for your house. It's for your metaphorical house."
Encouraging Creativity:
She urges listeners to view their lives as blank canvases, encouraging creative and authentic self-expression without fear of judgment.
Listener's Concern:
A listener seeks advice on genuinely stopping caring about others' opinions to live authentically.
Emma's Response:
Emma delves into the psychology of self-worth and external validation:
Making Oneself Proud:
[27:15] "What's helped me sort of stop caring about what other people think is to make myself proud. If I'm proud of myself, then I don't give a fuck what other people think."
Defining Success Personally:
She distinguishes between societal measures of success and personal fulfillment, noting that career achievements alone don't necessarily lead to self-pride.
Emphasizing Good Character:
[30:50] Emma believes that being a good person and maintaining a strong work ethic are paramount: "Being a good person overall and doing my best, that sets me free."
Coping with Imperfections:
Acknowledging her own struggles with imposter syndrome, Emma encourages embracing one's flaws and focusing on continuous personal growth.
Embrace Your Unique Journey:
Comparison to others can lead to unnecessary stress. Recognizing that everyone's timeline is different fosters self-acceptance and reduces feelings of inadequacy.
Prioritize Communication and Honesty:
Whether in relationships or personal endeavors, being transparent about one's experiences and uncertainties builds stronger, more authentic connections.
Focus on Present Interests:
Instead of fixating on long-term plans, engaging with current passions and curiosities can lead to more fulfilling and less pressured life decisions.
Reject Societal Pressures:
Authenticity involves resisting the urge to conform to external expectations. Personal fulfillment often stems from unconventional paths that resonate deeply with individual values.
Cultivate Self-Pride Over External Validation:
Building self-worth from personal achievements and character traits diminishes the impact of others' opinions, leading to a more liberated and confident self.
Notable Quotes:
Conclusion:
In this reflective episode, Emma Chamberlain offers compassionate and relatable advice to listeners grappling with feelings of inadequacy, uncertainty about the future, and the pressure to conform to societal norms. By sharing her personal experiences and emphasizing the importance of self-acceptance, honest communication, and following one's unique path, Emma empowers her audience to embrace their individuality and pursue fulfillment on their own terms.
Stay Connected:
For more advice and insights, tune into new episodes of Anything Goes every Thursday and Sunday. Video episodes are exclusive to Spotify. Follow Emma on Instagram and explore her coffee company for more updates.