Podcast Summary: anything goes with emma chamberlain

Episode: “the lies i tell myself”

Host: Emma Chamberlain
Release Date: October 19, 2025

Episode Overview

In this introspective episode, Emma Chamberlain gets real about the lies she tells herself—both big and small. From procrastination and relationships to creativity and self-worth, Emma examines the subtle and not-so-subtle ways she avoids uncomfortable truths in her daily life. With raw honesty, Emma unpacks why these internal deceits matter, how they've impacted her, and what it looks like to practice radical self-awareness. The tone is deeply personal, occasionally self-deprecating, and peppered with Emma’s signature blend of humor and vulnerability.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Universal Act of Self-Deception

• Lying to oneself is human:
  • [00:00] Emma opens by observing that everyone lies to themselves—it's coping, it's survival, and it's automatic.
  • "Sometimes reality is just a little bit too real and we need to lie to ourselves to cope and survive." (Emma, 00:18)
• The goal isn’t perfection:
  • She acknowledges completely eliminating self-deception is impossible but wants to catch herself and self-reflect, reducing the harm these lies can do.
  • “It’s not about eliminating lying altogether, but rather recognizing yourself lying and then stopping.” (Emma, 02:09)

Emma’s List of Self-Lies

1. “I’m not procrastinating, I’m gathering inspiration.”

• [07:15] She justifies web surfing (Pinterest, YouTube, Spotify) as idea-gathering, but often it’s plain procrastination.
• As Emma realizes out loud, “I know when I’m using those platforms intentionally in a way that’s helpful. And when I’m using them to procrastinate, I know that deep down.” (Emma, 12:47)
• Solution: Chores can be a more honest, productive break than distractions disguised as “research.”

2. “My feelings aren’t hurt.”

• [23:15] Emma frequently tells herself she’s unaffected by others’ actions to avoid confrontation, especially when it threatens a “perfect” relationship.
• “It’s way more complicated and devious to convince yourself that you’re not upset when you are.” (Emma, 25:20)
• She strives to allow herself to feel hurt and address it for healthier relationships.

3. “If I say I want something to happen, I’ll jinx it.”

• [30:50] Rooted in her anxiety and OCD, Emma discusses superstitions around jinxing or manifesting outcomes.
• “The universe doesn’t revolve around me… it’s narcissistic and selfish and unrealistic for me to think that I’m important enough, out of all the hundreds of people on this plane, I’m the one that’s going to dictate whether or not this plane goes down.” (Emma, 34:55)
• She reminds herself these thoughts defy logic and her own spiritual beliefs.

4. “I can trust them—my gut is wrong!”

• [39:30] Emma often overrides her initial wariness about new acquaintances, wanting to like people even when her intuition signals caution.
• “I will dishonor that feeling and convince myself that I like them… But I’ve almost never had a bad feeling about somebody and then been wrong, ever.” (Emma, 41:40)
• Reflection: Giving people a chance isn’t all bad, but ignoring gut feelings can lead to regret.

5. “I’m over my ex.”

• [50:00] She recounts how she’s insisted to herself (and others) that she’s over past relationships when complicated emotions linger.
• “We all want to believe that we’re… resilient. We don’t give a fuck about our ex. We don’t care. …It makes us feel weak. It makes us feel vulnerable. And it’s embarrassing.” (Emma, 51:30)
• She normalizes the long, unpredictable timeline of healing.

6. “If I buy this book, I’ll read it.”

• [56:10] Emma’s nightstand is evidence that simply purchasing books does not ensure they’ll be read, especially when life is busy or the subject isn’t appealing right now.
• “The truth of a book is that it needs to come to you at the right time for you to want to read.” (Emma, 59:50)
• She plans to be more intentional with her reading material to avoid guilt.

7. “Every guy that looks at me is in love with me.”

• [64:05] In a humorous, self-aware admission, Emma describes her “delulu” tendency to believe all male attention is romantic interest—often proven very wrong.
• “He wants to marry me… He is at Kay Jewelers getting me a ring tonight. …This is how I’m thinking in my head, okay?” (Emma, 66:08)

8. “I need to be alone to be creative.”

• [69:20] Emma overemphasizes the need for solitude in creativity, sometimes to the point of self-isolation.
• “If you’re not living your life outside with people, you will run out of creative ideas. And I know that that’s true. But I will lie to myself…” (Emma, 73:50)
• She admits creativity thrives on both solitude and interaction.

9. “I’m just gonna post on Instagram real quick.”

• [78:18] Emma claims she’ll only post and not scroll, but inevitably she gets sucked into the app, losing time.
• She’s strict with boundaries, but even then “half the time, me setting that timer is a lie.” (Emma, 81:29)
• Admits even disciplined people struggle with social media boundaries.

10. “Everyone hates me.”

• [87:22] As a public figure, Emma’s automatic assumption, brought on by negative internet exposure, is a deep-seated and often irrational belief.
• “I will convince myself often that everyone hates me. Like, I will just convince myself that I’m a hated person.” (Emma, 89:10)
• Positive interactions with fans help ground her but the feeling creeps back.

11. “I’m not jealous.”

• [91:50] She discusses how shame around jealousy leads to denial—she occasionally can’t admit to herself when she’s jealous, even when she knows how to manage it.

12. “I haven’t done enough today.” / “I haven’t earned rest.”

• [93:40] Emma’s intense drive leads her to consistently feel she hasn’t accomplished enough, rarely feeling satisfied.
• “The truth is, some days are going to be productive and some are not. …I am insatiable… I cannot be satisfied.” (Emma, 94:30)

13. “I’m not tired/burnt out—just lazy.”

• [97:08] She chronicles her cycle of overwork and burnout, flagging her inability to accept fatigue as valid.
• “This is not a flex… it actually leads to a state where I can’t do anything. And then I get nothing done for a little bit until I recharge my battery.” (Emma, 100:10)

14. “I can take on more responsibilities.”

• [101:15] Emma routinely overloads herself, underestimating her limits and ending up overwhelmed.

15. “Once I accomplish this, I’ll feel satisfied.”

• [103:10] She reveals the moving target of fulfillment—even planning this very episode, she promised herself she’d stop outlining after 10 self-lies, then kept going.
• “If I’m seeking the feeling of accomplishment, I’ll never reach accomplishment.” (Emma, 104:20)

16. “I’m dying.”

• [105:45] Emma’s health anxiety prompts frequent, irrational fears about her physical state, often dismissed by logic (and parents’ reminders).
• “I convince myself that I’m dying multiple times a day, and I’m not.” (Emma, 106:30)

17. “My intuition is telling me something catastrophic will happen.”

• [108:50] She struggles to distinguish between intrusive thoughts and true gut feelings; ironically, she ignores subtle, trustworthy intuition and obsesses over dramatic, anxiety-driven feelings.
• “Everything I know about intuitive feelings is that it is much more subtle, much more abstract, and much less intense.” (Emma, 110:16)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “We all are dysfunctional in our own cute little ways. So maybe let’s not judge Emma too much.” (Emma, 49:00)
• On spiraling thoughts:
  “It is a hoot. It’s a hoot up here in my brain. It is always a fucking party up there... That’s my brain. People doing shooters, people throwing up everywhere, people passing out. Super fun.” (Emma, 36:10)
• On self-sabotage in creativity:
  “Creative people need other people. The creative process is a solitary experience a lot of times. But that can’t be the entirety of a creative person’s life.” (Emma, 76:11)
• On boundaries and self-awareness:
  “I am so strict and so rigid and, like, so careful but even I will fail. …It’s the hardest, though, when there’s some—when I have to—when I’m posting a lot, that’s when it’s the hardest.” (Emma, 81:55)
• On intrusive vs. intuitive thoughts:
  “It makes the brain fight against each other. It makes the brain hypocritical almost.” (Emma, 110:45)
• On self-acceptance:
  “I encourage you all to face the lies that you tell yourself head on. It’s an ongoing practice, I think, that you’ll never perfect necessarily, but it’s a practice that I think is worth starting to practice as soon as possible.” (Emma, 112:10)

Episode Timeline with Timestamps

• [00:00] - [06:45]: Introduction to the episode theme; why self-lies are universal.
• [07:15]: First lie — Procrastination disguised as “inspiration gathering.”
• [23:15]: Denying hurt feelings to avoid conflict.
• [30:50]: Superstition, OCD, and the fear of “jinxing” outcomes.
• [39:30]: Rationalizing trust and ignoring gut instincts in new relationships.
• [50:00]: Denying unresolved feelings about exes.
• [56:10]: The nightstand book trap — will-power vs. readiness.
• [64:05]: Embarrassing romantic delusions about strangers.
• [69:20]: Solitude as a self-imposed creative prison.
• [78:18]: The Instagram honesty gap — setting and breaking your own rules.
• [87:22]: The emotional weight of public scrutiny (“everyone hates me”).
• [91:50]: Difficulty in admitting to jealousy.
• [93:40]: Perpetual dissatisfaction with personal productivity.
• [97:08]: Burnout, fatigue, and the illusion of laziness.
• [101:15]: Overfilling the “metaphorical plate.”
• [103:10]: The elusive feeling of accomplishment.
• [105:45]: Health anxiety (“I’m dying”) everyday catastrophe thinking.
• [108:50]: Mistaking anxiety for intuition and vice versa.
• [112:10]: Final reflections and encouragement to listeners.

Final Thoughts

Emma’s episode is both confessional and relatable, using her personal quirks to prompt listeners to reflect on their own patterns of denial. She highlights the complexity and fallibility of the human mind but grounds her admissions in humor and hope. For anyone struggling with honesty—especially with themselves—Emma models how admitting internal truths, though uncomfortable, can be the first step toward change.

Recommended for:
Anyone who has ever caught themselves rationalizing, denying, or minimizing their feelings or actions. Especially resonant for creatives, those experiencing burnout, and anyone interested in mental health and radical self-awareness.

“We all are dysfunctional in our own cute little ways.” – Emma Chamberlain (49:00)