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One of the many silly little goofy things that we do as human beings is lie to ourselves. And I know that because I've lied to myself many times throughout my existence. And I imagine that you have too. Sometimes reality is just a little bit too real and we need to lie to ourselves to cope and survive. I didn't Google it, but I imagine that this is a natural thing. This is a normal thing, this is a human thing. It's an inevitable thing. Life is really hard to grasp sometimes and lying can help. So yes, I've lied to myself many times throughout my life. And just because it's a natural, normal, inevitable thing doesn't mean that it's a positive thing. I know from experience that lying to myself is almost never, if never beneficial. I cannot think of one time that I've lied to myself and benefited from it. It's almost always harmful, which is unfortunate. It's unfortunate when inevitable things are harmful. That sucks. But I've come to the conclusion as an adult that I want to strive to lie to myself the least amount possible. And I know that I'm not going to be able to get to a point where I never lie to myself because as I already said, it's an inevitable thing. And I am kind of convinced that it's like an innate human thing that, that we do to help ourselves survive and cope with reality. So it's not my goal to never lie to myself again, but rather lie to myself the least amount possible. And I'm kind of convinced that lying to ourselves is something that's sort of automatic, at least with me. Like, I don't make the choice to lie to myself. I lie to myself automatically and then it's up to me to discover that I'm lying to myself and ultimately choose to discover the truth and accept it. It's sort of a choice thing. And what I've realized is the best way to do that is to constantly self reflect and try to pinpoint the areas in which I'm lying to myself, pay attention to what I'm saying and listen to myself talk and try to catch things that are lies in the moment. Because it is sort of this automatic thing. But it can be through practice, I think you can get better at catching it and catching yourself in the act so that you can lie to yourself for less time. Do you know what I'm saying? It's not about eliminating lying altogether, but rather recognizing yourself lying and then stopping. I think one of the hardest things to do though, is to recognize when you're lying to yourself. But we all know when we're lying to ourselves, right? It's not. It's not like we don't deep down know. It's not like we're so good at lying to ourselves that we can't tell. It's that we're really good at kind of knowing that we're lying to ourselves, but not fully admitting to ourselves that we are. We're really good at kind of turning a blind eye. But I do think it's a practice in noticing that feeling and then addressing it head on when you. When you feel it and when you notice it, even when it's really uncomfortable and you really don't want to look at it. Getting used to looking at it. Does anything that I just said make sense? I'm not sure. So today I thought I'd sit down and discuss with you all some lies that I tell myself that I'm still struggling to have an honest perspective on. And this is sort of a selfish activity for my. For my own benefit. These are lies that I still tell myself that I'm working on not telling myself anymore. And through acknowledging them, I'm going to improve on that issue. Does that make sense? So this is super selfish. This, this podcast episode. This is all about me admitting to you all the lies that I tell myself. But hopefully I can lead by example, and maybe this episode will inspire you to address some of the lies that you've been telling yourself. So, without further ado, these are some of the lies that I tell myself. I briefly interrupt this episode to let you know that this episode is presented by the Ordinary. Self care is important, but it can be super expensive, right? Especially when you're talking skincare products. Thankfully, the Ordinary is focused on quality skincare that's priced to make great skin care accessible to everyone, and that genuinely works. Formulations created in their lab designed to give your skin precisely what it needs. They've even made a free regimen builder on their website. If you don't know where to start, use code EMAC10 for 10% off@theordinary.com now back to the episode. To start, I love to tell myself I'm not procrastinating. I'm gathering inspiration. A lot of my job is coming up with various ideas, whether it's for the podcast or for YouTube or for Chamberlain Coffee or for other creative endeavors. A lot of what I do, pretty much all that I do is come up with ideas for things all the time. And a lot of that process is just sitting and thinking or walking and thinking or driving and thinking. It's just a lot of thinking. And sometimes just staring at the wall or staring at the window can get boring. And so I'll decide. You know what? Let me take my eyes off of this document for a second where I compile my ideas and let me surf the web a little bit. Let me surf the web. Let me go on Pinterest for a bit. You know, let me. Let me scroll on YouTube a little bit. Let me go on Spotify and look at, you know, what kinds of podcasts are trending right now. Let me just kind of surf the web. And in my head, my idea is like, by exposing myself to the Zeitgeist, what's happening on. On the Internet now, I never go on, like, Instagram. Okay, that's a step too far for me. That's not allowed. But I'll allow myself to go on platforms that I consider to be safe for my brain. Right? Pinterest is safe. YouTube is safe. For the most part. I still have to have boundaries with all things, but I feel like those are the most positive, inspiring platforms. Spotify as well. It's like music, podcasts. Hello. So I'll allow myself to surf a little bit, see what's going on in the Zeitgeist. Now I'm not going on Pinterest, YouTube, Spotify to necessarily take ideas. I'm very against that, especially now more than ever. When I. When I was younger, I feel like on the Internet, there was less of an emphasis on people owning their own ideas. Like, when I first started on the Internet, it was all about Internet trends. Like, there were so many Internet trends. Like, oh, everybody, everybody's doing the cinnamon challenge. You know, everyone's doing, like, a challenge where they're doing their makeup blindfolded or they're doing somebody else's makeup blindfolded. Like, I started on the Internet in a time where everyone was copying each other and it was totally fine. But now more than ever, there's an emphasis on. On protecting people's ideas, giving credit for, you know, it's like. And then also I've matured as a creative person, and I. I want to come up with my own ideas that are unique and fresh and exciting. Like, I don't want to do what's popular anymore. So anyway, all of this to say I'll let myself surf just to see what's going on and see if it triggers a brand new idea, because that does happen. Like, I might see a picture of an outfit. It might be a red dress with black shoes. And. And white tights, okay? Let's say that's the outfit I see. That image might inspire me to wear a black, white, and red outfit. It might just, for whatever reason, make me think of three different pieces that I own that are those colors, and it might inspire me to wear that. Or. Well, that's not necessarily, like, a creative idea, but that's a personal creative idea. I might be on YouTube and see that somebody made a video about Subway sandwiches, okay? Like, they made a video essay on on the Rise and the Fall of Subway Sandwich, okay? And for whatever reason, that might give me an idea to make a cooking video where I make a sandwich. Like, I don't know. Do you get what I'm saying? Like, I'm not surfing to steal. I'm surfing to hopefully trigger new ideas, right? But you know what? The truth of the matter is, a lot of times I end up just getting sucked into scrolling. I'll convince myself that this type of scrolling is coming up with ideas, when in reality, it's just procrastination. Because I'm bored of staring out a window and thinking. I'm bored of thinking. And as I'm talking about this, which I've not really talked about this out loud very much, as I'm talking about it out loud, I'm realizing Instead of opening YouTube or opening Pinterest, even though those things can be helpful sometimes, I know when I'm doing that to procrastinate versus when I'm doing that to intentionally to help me come up with a topic or to help me gather things to discuss, or if I actually need to be on Pinterest because I need to make a mood board for something. Like, I know when I'm using those platforms intentionally in a way that's helpful. And when I'm using them to procrastinate, I know that deep down, moving forward, when I catch myself doing that, I need to just do something else. Like, honestly, I should just go do chores if I'm so bored of staring out a window and thinking I should just do something productive that I can also think while I'm doing it. You know what I'm saying? Like, I should go do the dishes. I should go organize my. My garage. You know, I should go do something that is sort of mindless so that I can keep thinking, but I'm a little bit less bored anyway. Okay, Moving on. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. If you've ever wanted to create a website but didn't know where to start, Squarespace is your answer. Their design intelligence tool blends AI and expert design to help you create a site that's functional, unique, and totally your vibe. Go to squarespace.com emma for a free trial and and when you're ready to Launch, use code EMMA to get 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. This episode is brought to you by Activia. I don't know about you guys, but when my gut feels off, my whole day can feel off. That's why gut health can be such an important part of your overall wellness routine. So try Activia Probiotic Yogurts and Dailies, a quick, easy and tasty way to up your gut health game every day. They're deliciously smooth and creamy with billions of live and active probiotics and are backed by 20 years of science. Your gut is where it all begins. So start with Activia. Enjoying Activia twice a day for two weeks as a part of a balanced diet and healthy lifestyle can help reduce the frequency of minor digestive discomfort. Another lie I tell myself is that my feelings aren't hurt. What that person did to me is totally fine and I'm unaffected. I might feel maybe a little bit uncomfortable, but no, no, that. That can't be right. My feelings aren't hurt. That can't be right. Sometimes the idea of confrontation with a particular person is too uncomfortable for me to bear. I am all about communication, all about it. I'm the first person to give the advice to others. Like, if someone hurt your feelings, you gotta tell them because otherwise the relationship is going to be strained and that person is not going to learn from their mistakes. And that's a shame. I'm the first person to give that advice. But that doesn't mean that it's always easy to do that. And I will often catch myself lying to myself about whether or not an action affected me negatively so that I don't have to confront the situation. I think this is very common. I think a lot of people do this, but I think it's one thing to be afraid to confront, but to accept like, oh no, this did hurt me, this did bother me. I'm aware of it, but I just don't want to confront it. That's one thing. It's way more complicated and devious to convince yourself that you're not upset when you are. That's an even more complicated sort of situation to figure out, because now you have two hurdles to jump through. Number one, figuring out whether or not you're upset or I guess it's More like figuring out how to accept that you're upset when you don't want to be upset. And then you have to figure out how to confront it, you know, or how to handle the situation. This doesn't happen to me all the time. It happens to me in very specific types of situations. It tends to happen to me with people who I'm not close enough with to feel comfortable confronting them. Even worse, someone who I've had a really smooth relationship with thus far. Like, the relationship has been almost flawless, and now all of a sudden, it's not. And it's like, fuck, we were doing so well. I don't want to ruin this streak that we have going. Like, this can't be right. I can't. I can't be bothered by this. I'm not. I'm not bothered by this. But the problem with that is that if you don't address it, then you'll start building resentment, and then the other person doesn't get to grow. And that's such a shame. I honestly think the first confrontation in a relationship is the hardest because you are sort of breaking that seal. Because when you first meet somebody, for the most part, everything's sort of perfect. It's cute, it's perfect, you know, and then eventually something will happen. It's inevitable. And that first conflict is the most challenging because you don't really know how the other person's gonna respond. It's sort of the unknown, and we're scared of the unknown. And that's usually the type of interaction that I struggle with. That's usually the type of interaction that I lie to myself about. But it's so important that I stop fucking doing that. Because what I know to be a fact is that in order to have a real, functioning relationship with somebody, you have to break that seal. You. You can't be so precious with relationships that, you know, you don't let that seal get broken. You have to break it so that you can have a real, functioning relationship where there's an open dialogue about issues. This hasn't happened to me in a while, luckily for me. But I just, knowing myself, know that if I was put in this type of situation right now, this is a lie I would tell myself, because it's a lie I've told myself in the past. And I. I know that I'm not over it yet. Like, I know that this is something I'd still do. So hopefully, the next time I'm faced with this sort of challenge, I acknowledge the lie immediately, allow myself to be Upset and allow myself to confront. Let's all manifest that together. Actually, speaking of manifesting, another lie I tell myself is that if I say I want something to happen, if I manifest it, that will jinx it and it won't happen. Yeah. And to be honest, I do think that this one is a little bit. This one's a little bit loaded, right? This is a little bit of OCD for me. This is a lie that I tell myself due to a particular psychological issue that I have. However, it's still a lie that I tell myself because I know that that's not how the universe works. You know, I mean, I don't really know how the universe works. Does anyone? For sure, I don't know. I don't think any of us do. But this weird lie that I tell myself doesn't even align with my spiritual views. Like, if I were to assess my spiritual views, this doesn't. This actually doesn't make sense, you know, like, it's illogical. Which is why I almost was hesitant to include particular lies that I tell myself that are rooted in ocd or anxiety or paranoia because they're so irrational that it's like, what's even happening. But they are lies that I tell myself. So I did ultimately decide to include them. But it's like, it's illogical because I believe that manifestation does work in a way. Whether it literally works, whether you're actually speaking to the universe and the universe is listening, or manifestation works just through mindset shift. I don't necessarily know how manifestation works, but I actually do believe in it. However, sometimes, for whatever reason, my brain decides to convince itself that manifestation will. Will backfire for me, it will jinx it. Why? I don't know. I don't know why my brain does that. It's just a silly little goofy thing that it does. For whatever reason. Sometimes I think that if I think something. An unrelated outcome will happen, it just. It doesn't make sense. But it's a lie that I tell myself, and I also lie to myself about the opposite. So I'll lie to myself and say if I manifest that I don't want something to happen, usually that's something bad or tragic. I convince myself that by hoping that it doesn't happen, it will. It's so much fun, you guys. It is a hoot. It's a hoot up here in my brain. It's a fucking hoot. It is always a fucking party up there. It is so much fun, you guys. It is the best. It is a party it's chaos. It is a fucking movie up there. It's like Project X. Remember that movie about the big party? That's my brain. People doing shooters, people throwing up everywhere, people passing out. Super fun. That's what my brain is like. I wish I had more to say about this, but I really don't because it's illogical. I mean, I think the way that I have combated this challenge is by acknowledging time and time again when this doesn't happen. Okay? Like, I'll give you an example. I will convince myself that by praying on an airplane that the airplane doesn't crash that that will make it crash. Okay? I'll convince myself that by praying that the plane doesn't crash, that's going to make it crash, right? But then when the plane doesn't crash, I force myself to pay attention to that. Emma, look, look. That wasn't real. That's not how shit works. And also, the universe doesn't revolve around me. That's. That's the other thing that has helped me manage these sort of superstitions, ocd, intrusive thoughts. The universe does not revolve around me, okay? I'm not the only one on that fucking airplane. It's narcissistic and selfish and unrealistic for me to think that I'm important enough. Out of all the hundreds of people on this plane, I'm the one that's going to dictate whether or not this plane goes down. Like, me, me praying and thinking about the plane not crashing is going to somehow jinx this plane crashing when there's also hundreds of other people on this plane who have good karma, bad karma, who are praying for the plane not to crash as well. Like, I am not that important. I am not controlling the universe. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, my actions are not dictating the outcome of everything. You know what I'm saying? That's the other thing that I remind myself when I. When I have these thoughts. Because it's true or. I mean, I don't know. It depends on your spiritual belief. But that's my spiritual belief. It's so interesting that certain psychological challenges can actually cause your brain to fight itself. Like, it can cause your brain to say things and believe things that actually go against your own philosophy on things, your own theology on things. Okay, moving on. Another lie I tell myself, hey, this person seems cool. I really like this person. I think I can trust them. Why do I do this? I don't know. It makes no sense to Me, I will meet somebody and on the surface level, I'll kind of like them, right? Maybe we have good banter. Maybe I like their style, but I'll get a weird feeling about them. For whatever reason that I can't explain, I'll get a weird feeling about them and I will ignore that feeling. Time and time again, I will ignore that feeling. I will know deep down that something's off and that I shouldn't trust them and I shouldn't be so quick to like them because something's off. But I'll convince myself because maybe the banter is good or we're actually having decent conversation, or I like their style, or other people that I trust like them. I will convince myself that I like them too, that I think that they're cool, that I can trust them when I don't have a good feeling about them. Deep down, I actually don't. And I will dishonor that feeling and convince myself that I like them. And what tends to happen is down the line, the reason for that uneasy feeling will come to light and I will discover why I felt that feeling. It's very interesting how we have a better read on people than we think we do. And see, that's where the lie comes in. I will convince myself that I'm being paranoid, I'm being overly judgmental. I'm the problem. I'm being weird. But I've almost never had a bad feeling about somebody and then been wrong, ever. I think what it comes down to is that I want to like people. I really do. I want to like people. I want to have good conversation. I don't like disliking people. I really don't. And I know that that might be shocking to those of you who know me who listen to this podcast, because I have said many times before that I love gossip. I do love gossip. And usually gossip comes with dislike of others. I don't like disliking other people. Gossip for me doesn't always mean disliking people. Gossip can be anything. Gossip could be these two people who I really like broke up and I like gossiping about that because I like analyzing their relationship and figuring out why they broke up. Gossip for me might be talking about someone's career and perhaps analyzing it with my friends. Maybe I like this person a lot, maybe, whatever. But, like, maybe something happened with with their career and it's, like, interesting to talk about. It's gossip. Like maybe something that they were working on got canceled or something. I don't necessarily feel happy that that happened. But. But that is gossip, and it's interesting to discuss. You know what I'm saying? Gossip for me is not about hating on people. It's about analyzing things that happen. That's. I love analyzing things that happen. That's fun for me. That's interesting for me. That teaches me things about myself and the world around me, for fuck's sake. I love it. I love it. I don't like disliking people. I want to like people, I think, especially when I'm in a good place in my life. If I'm in a good place, I just want to have fun, you know? If I'm in a particularly challenging place in my life, it can be a bit harder for me not to like. I might become more tempted to dislike people because disliking people feels good. When you're in a bad place, unfortunately, like when you feel bad about yourself and your life, there's something sort of cathartic about hating other people. And unfortunately, there's a human. There's something about bringing other people down when you feel down. And part of being an adult is knowing how to not cave to those negative feelings when you're in a moment like that, you know? But anyway, my baseline when I'm in a good place is I want to like people. I want to love people, I want to get along. I want to have fun. I want to make more friends. Fuck it. And I think most people feel that way when they're in a good place. And that's why I think I tend to lie to myself when I meet somebody and I get a bad feeling because perhaps they really like me and perhaps they want to hang out and they want to go to dinner next week. I don't want to have to say no, but I get a bad feeling about them. But instead of trusting that gut feeling, I'll be like, fuck it. I guess I'll go to dinner with them. Because I don't want to have to act on something that doesn't have a lot of evidence, you know? And I will say with this particular one, I feel like it's not always bad to test and see if your gut feeling was right or wrong. I mean, in my experience, a lot of times my gut feeling was right. I don't think it's the worst thing in the world to test it and to see. Because who knows, you might meet your best friend that way and you might be wrong. Right? I guess. And the worst thing that can happen is that you start to develop a friendship that you Realize, oh, fuck, I probably shouldn't have developed this friendship. Now I'm further into it and I have to walk away. It would have been easier if I had just walked away when I had that bad feeling. But it's not like the worst thing in the world to give people a chance, even if you get a bad gut feeling initially. I mean, it's not the worst thing, but I have had moments where I've been like, fucking, I did have a bad feeling and I didn't listen. And now I have to kind of blow this person off. And that sucks, you know, because I don't like blowing people off. I would have rather just kept it in a place where we weren't friends. Do you know what I'm saying? This also can bite me in the ass because I might convince myself that I like somebody and I think they're cool and whatever, and then I'll overshare with them. I'm getting better at this. The older I get, the better I get at this. But I still, even now, will be like, oh, this person seems cool. Fuck it. I'll just tell them some shit. I'll get into it with them. Because I'm such an open book, especially in real life. I'm really an open book in real life. I'm an open book on the Internet, but I have to be a little bit more careful because it's the Internet. And if I'm not careful, like, I can't. Like, I can't talk about other people and say names on the Internet, you know? Whereas, like, I can do that a bit more in real life. Whatever. I love connecting with people through stories, through interesting life experiences. I love to get into it. And I know that when I tell vulnerable stories, when I tell real stories and I do it quickly, I make better connections with people sooner. And so that's why I do that, you know? But I've learned over the years that I have to be careful, because if I just decide that I think somebody's cool and I can trust them, and I just start getting into shit, not even necessarily, like, drama, but just, I don't know, getting real with somebody. More than anything, I suffer through regret and anxiety because then later I'm like, well, what if they. What if they tell people, I. I don't know, that I want to be friends with this person, and now they know something about me. Like, I've. I've, like, opened up to them, and, like, that makes me feel weird. I don't know. I. I almost expose myself more than I want to. And then later I regret it. This episode is really exposing to everybody how how dysfunctional my brain is. But I would like to believe that we all are dysfunctional in our own cute little ways. So maybe let's not judge Emma too much. Okay, moving on. This episode is brought to you by Cozy. Getting your home to not just look right, but also feel right is so important. I think what I love most about my home is how there are so many little details around the house that bring me so much joy. One place that I hang out a lot is my couch. I take naps on there. I get a bunch of work done on there. When I'm shopping for a piece of furniture or home furnishing, I'm looking for something that's comfortable but also fun to look at. That's why you've gotta love Cozy. Their furniture is modern, practical and designed to make your day to day feel a little more, well, cozy. They're modular and customizable, so if you wake up one day with the urge for a new look, cozy makes it so easy. Easily. Switch up the layout, switch up the style, switch up the color. With cozy sofas, you don't just get a new nap spot, but the freedom to change your mind. Transform your living space today with cozy. Visit cozy.com that's C O Z E Y.com the home of possibilities made easy. This episode is brought to you by State Farm Insurance. May all seem the same on the surface, but having insurance isn't the same as having State Farm. It's like ordering the cutest vintage chair online, but when it shows up, it's a tiny doll sized chair. You wouldn't settle for dollhouse decor, so don't settle for just any insurance. When it comes to getting the help you need, State Farm is the real deal. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. This episode is brought to you by Uber. You should check out Uber 1 for students. It comes with a bunch of perks like $0 delivery fees, up to 10% off eligible orders and 6% back in Uber credits on rides, plus daily freebies from your favorite brands. Try it out now and get your first four weeks free. Become an Uber one for students. Member and start saving on Uber and Uber Eats eligibility and member terms apply. This next one I know we all do. So nobody can judge me for this one because we all do it. I have lied many times to myself about being over my ex. Okay now like not like. I'm not saying a specific ex. I'm saying any ex. I've had many, and there have been a few that have taken me a while to get over. Like I would say. Like, I would say two in particular really took me a while, you know? And I have lied to myself and said I'm fucking over it. Over it? Not over it. But I think the reason I lie to myself about that is because I want to be over it. Especially when it's been like a year, you know, and you're like, are you kidding me? I'm still not fully over this. I'm still thinking about it. I still have complicated feelings about this. Why? It's been a long time. Why? You know, it's kind of embarrassing in a way, or it can feel embarrassing on a personal level. I don't think it's embarrassing when other people take a year, two years, five years to get over an ex. I don't judge at all. I totally get it. But when it's yourself, it's tough. We all want to believe that we're. We're tough and we're resilient. We don't give a fuck about our ex. We don't care. We're moving on to greener pastures. We don't care. We want to believe that it makes us feel shameful when we're not. It makes us feel weak. It makes us feel vulnerable. And it's embarrassing because breakups inevitably involve some sort of rejection, Whether you were the one that got broken up with or you were the one that broke up with your partner, but perhaps now they've moved on and you actually have it, and then you're like, wait, what? There's always some sort of rejection involved, right? Because if you broke up with your ex and then you miss them and you regret it and you want to go back to them, and then they accept and they say, yes, let's get back together, then you're not feeling this feeling anymore. You don't have to lie to yourself about being over your ex because you're back together. So even if you're the one that did the breaking up, if you want to get back together and they don't, that's still rejection. Do you see what I'm saying? Like, inevitably, if you're feeling this way, it's because there's some sort of rejection involved. And that is really hard to accept. It is really hard to accept when you've been rejected. It's incredibly challenging. It takes a huge toll on your confidence. It's a tough one. And so it's not fun to admit when you're not over It. Because in some ways, that's sort of an admittance of the rejection that you've experienced. In a way, if you still miss them, that's a painful reminder that you've been rejected. Whereas if you're over it, in a way that's a power position. You're like, I'm over it, and I'm rejecting them. I'm over it. I'm rejecting them now. I'm rejecting them. I don't care anymore. You know, it's really. It's uncomfortable, and it's even more challenging when you're out and you're dating and perhaps you've met somebody new and maybe you started to date them, but deep down, you're still not over it. And you're like, fuck. I want to be fully present, but I can't because I'm still caught up in this. But all I want to do is be moved on so that I can, you know, start my new life or whatever. But it just takes time. And I think a lot of us don't want to admit how much time it takes. And so I've told that lie to myself many times. I mean, I guess just twice. Really more than twice, but, like, really badly twice. Moving on. Another lie that I tell myself is that if I buy this book and I leave it on my nightstand, inevitably I'll read it. Obviously, I'll read it. I have, like, five books on my nightstand right now that I've bought in the last six months that I have not picked up. And the reason for that is, listen, I have excuses for why I haven't read them, but I actually think that those excuses are further lies, which concerns me. I'll tell you my excuse, and then we can decide together if I'm lying to myself. My excuse for why I have not read those books is because I've been honestly working too much. And reading, to me, is not. It's not. The books that I bought that I put on my nightstand are educational. They're not escapism. And I've been working so much that the thought of, like, reading, to me is just further work in a way which will be appealing to me at some point, but it's not to me right now. Because by the end of the day, I've expended my brain, like, I don't have anything left. I can't do anything else hard. You know, I need to just escape into something, whether that's a YouTube video or just going to bed. So that's my excuse. I do think that's A lie in a way. Like, I do think I'm lying to myself. I could make time to read those books if I really wanted to, but I'm choosing not to, right? But the lie that. The initial lie. Let's go back to the lie, okay? The lie is, if I buy a book and put it on my nightstand, I'll read it. That's just not true. Because what I know about books. And listen, I'm not the most. I'm not the biggest reader, okay? I read sometimes, but I'm not the biggest reader at all. But I go through phases. I think the truth of a book is that it needs to come to you at the right time for you to want to read. It just simply needs to be the right time. Especially with something educational that you're going to teach yourself about voluntarily, right? Obviously, when it's a school book, you gotta read it. You're at school. But when you're in the classroom of life, okay, and you can read a book whenever you want, an educational book, I think it can be hard to motivate unless you pick it up at the right time, you know, and you have kind of a hunger for that particular topic. And I just don't have an appetite for learning about the particular topics that are on my nightstand right now. I just don't have that appetite. And so I think the expectation that, like, by having them there, I'll read them is just unrealistic because for whatever reason, I just don't have the appetite for those right now. But then I think when this becomes detrimental is that I have these books on my nightstand, right, That I bought because I really want. I really want to learn about these things eventually. And so I'm keeping them on my nightstand because I want to motivate myself to read them. But the problem is they are not speaking to me right now, so I'm not picking them up. But the issue with that is now I'm just not reading anything. Whereas if I were to say, you know what? These books aren't speaking to me right now, I'm gonna go put them in my book collection, keep them there until I'm ready for them. And in the meantime, I'm gonna go look through my book collection and find something that is speaking to me, and I'm gonna put that on my nightstand. And so when I have a moment where reading is appealing to me, at least I'm reading something, because I think reading books is very important. But. But it is hard to motivate now more than ever, very hard it's very, very hard for most of us to read. There are so many other things that are much more dopaminergic. You know, Is that even a word? I say that word all the time, and I actually have never Googled it, so I don't know. I think I used it right, so I'm just gonna pretend that I did. Yeah. So I need to be much more intentional about the books that I keep on my nightstand so that I actually read more, you know, instead of being like, you know what? I'm going to be disciplined and harsh with myself, and I'm going to put these books on my nightstand. I'm going to buy them because these are things I need to learn about, and I'm going to put them on my nightstand, and I'm going to read them because I need to learn about these things right now. Instead of doing that, which fails every time, I'm just going to start. Maybe, you know, I can collect books. But instead of putting them on my nightstand and convincing myself I'm going to read them just because they're there, I'm going to be more intentional about the books I keep on my nightstand. That's what I'm going to start doing. Okay, moving on. Another lie that I tell myself is that every guy that talks to me, looks at me, even is in love with me. It's so embarrassing that I do this. It's really embarrassing. Like, I'm. I barely wanted to include this on the list. I didn't want to admit to it. But this is a lie that I tell myself. I kid you not. It's not good. I think that I feel like that's, like a. A narcissistic trait. Like, I feel like that's a sign of narcissism. Like, I feel like this is not. Like, this is a red flag about me. You know what I mean? We should all hold up. Red flag. This is bad. But at least I'm aware of it, and I know that it's, like, kind of ridiculous and narcissistic. This is not to say that sometimes they're not in love with me. Like, maybe, but, like, okay, I'll give you. You know what? I'll tell you a story. This proves that I'm a little delulu. Okay. One time I was at a bar in New York out of my. Out of my element. And I walk in, I'm sitting at the bar with my friends, and this very gorgeous, very gorgeous guy comes in. Gorgeous, gorge. I was like, whoa, that is a hot guy. Okay? And I couldn't help it. I was looking. I had to look a little, which can go a long way if you look and you can get a little eye contact for a second. Sometimes that can start a conversation later, you know what I mean? It's like a little message, you know how it is. So I was doing a little looking and then I looked away, whatever. And I was like, we like locked eyes for maybe one second or like, or it was either that or like I looked and then I looked away. And then I could feel that he looked at me and I was like, I'm so fucking in. I was like, I'm in. I'm so in. He wants to marry me. He wants to be with me forever. He is at Kay Jewelers getting me a ring tonight. He's breaking in to the jewelers to get me a ring. Cause that's how fucking obsessed with me he is. He can't stop thinking about me. He just, he just laid eyes on me and for the rest of his life he will never stop thinking about me. This is how I'm thinking in my head, okay? Going, going, going, spiraling. Spiraling, if you will. Positive spiral. Well, delusional spiral, but fun spiral. And I'm like, okay, I'm going to look away, obviously after, like, you know, play hard again. I'm just not going to look again for like at least 10 minutes. You know, like, gotta seem busy, busy, busy, because that works wonders with boys. And so I wasn't looking and I'm just minding my own business. Eventually I decide, all right, I gotta shoot my shot again. Let me just look back. Shooting my shot for me, by the way, is looking. That's it. Because I do not flirt very well. Actually. I think I flirt. Oh, actually I don't. I don't flirt very well. I'm very subtle and very dry and very scared. But it, it works in its own little way. So I decide to do some heavy hitting, flirting, Emma style. Look back, he has a boyfriend. They are very romantic. He's fully in a relationship and he's gay. He could be bi. So maybe he thought I was hot and he wanted this, but he was fully in a relationship. He. That was a, that was a miscalc for me, to be honest. You know what I mean? Like, I really miscalc'd. Is there a chance, is there a slim chance that maybe. No, to be honest, that I don't think so. I think I miscalculated on that one. So, yeah, it's fine. Yeah. I've actually also had that with, like, guys that I found out later were married and stuff. But see, I guess even in relationship, you never really know. Like, you never really know, you know, even if you end up seeing them with their partner or whatever, it's like you still don't really know. But moving on. Okay. The next lie I tell myself is that I need to be alone majority of the time to maintain a creative output. I need to be alone 95% of the time to be creative. And I do think, to an extent, that being alone is important for my creative process. It absolutely is. Because a lot of the things that I do and I make, I make by myself. You know, I record these podcast episodes by myself. I film and edit my YouTube videos. Oftentimes, well, I do the editing, especially by myself. I do the conceptualizing of YouTube videos by myself. I. I do a lot of brainstorming for concepts for Chamberlain Coffee by myself. I'm a control freak, and I like to do things by myself. And a lot of times I do need to be by myself to come up with ideas. But I think to a certain extent, that's healthy. And then beyond that, it actually becomes unhealthy, and I'm actually stifling my creativity by not involving other people. And so that's a lie. I tell myself that being alone is crucial. And I think, again, this one's complicated, because to an extent, that's true, but I think I take it beyond. And I'll spend an entire week completely by myself in my creative bubble, talking to almost no one. And that means not talking to people on a creative level, like, not collaborating with anybody, but also just not talking to anyone in general. Because that's the thing about this lie. I believe I need to be alone. Not only creatively, meaning I need to work on projects alone with no creative partners, but also I believe that I need to be alone, away from friends, away from people in general to be creative. And the truth is, when it comes to creative collaborators, that can be incredibly helpful sometimes to have somebody to bounce ideas off of. Again, is it always the answer? No. But I could probably do a little bit more of that. Also, if you're not living your life outside with people, you will run out of creative ideas. And I know that that's true. But I will lie to myself and convince myself that going outside, spending time with people, being in the world, is getting in the way of me being creative because it's wasting time. But that's not true. You know, a lot of my inspiration for things comes from lived experience with other people. So I guess the lie is that I need to be alone all the time, when I really just need to be alone some of the time. And that's something I really need to work on, like right now, because I have been alone a lot in the last few months. A lot. And for a while it was working for me, you know, and I was getting so much done and I was being so creative. But then at a certain point, I just became kind of empty. And I need to. I don't know. But it's hard because I'm so type A and I'm so obsessed with. I'm a workaholic in a way. And so it's hard for me at times to justify, like, involving other people or taking time away from working on things creatively to live my life. Like, that's really hard for me because by nature I'm a workaholic, if you will. That's what everybody in my life calls me there. Like, everyone is like, Emma is a workaholic and needs help. And I do need help a little bit, but it's something I'm actively working on because that lie is harmful. And it actually ultimately long term gets in the way of my creativity. There can be little bursts where it works and I can get away with it, but it all comes crashing down eventually. You know, we need other people, Creative people need other people. The creative process is a solitary experience a lot of times. But that can't be the entirety of a creative person's life. And I will convince myself at times that that needs to be my life. And it's not true. The next lie I tell myself is that I'm just gonna post on Instagram really quick. No big deal. Just gonna open up Instagram, just gonna open up the app, Just gonna do a little posty, posty, Just gonna post really quick, Gonna post something. And then right after I post it, I might read comments for a second, heart some of my favorites, maybe respond to a few, you know, because that's really fun. And then I'm gonna stick to my boundaries and I'm gonna close the app and I'm gonna put my phone down and I'm not gonna scroll, scroll, scroll, because I know myself and I know that that makes me feel anxious and not so good. And you know what I do in reality? I scroll, scroll, scroll. Next thing I know, I am on like, Cheez, it's Instagram page. Next thing I know, I'm looking through Hailey Bieber's photo dump. This is just my life. This is just life. Next thing I know, I'm on my Explore page watching reels. Next thing I know, it's been an hour and I'm still watching reels. You know, it's. That is a lie I tell myself. And honestly, like, it's not that I never let myself scroll and, like, look through Hailey Bieber's photo dump and go on she's its Instagram, and look at reels sometimes. Because I don't think it's. Like, I do think that it's important that I'm not completely out of the loop. Like, I definitely look sometimes, but I need to admit to myself that every time I open the app, I will be scrolling a little bit. Even if I think I'm just gonna go post and then I'm gonna put the phone down, that's not true. And so I should honestly go into. Every time I post, go into the app knowing I will be scrolling a little bit. And I should set a timer, because that's what I do when I just want to scroll randomly. And I really don't do that a lot, to be honest. But it does happen, like, maybe once a week. I'll be like, fuck it. Let's just see what's going on. Maybe on the weekend, you know, but that's it. And that's not a lot. That's less than normal. I would say less than average. And I don't post on Instagram that often, you know, depending on what's going on, like, during Fashion Week or something. Every day, here's my outfit. Here's my outfit. Here's my outfit. Again, again, again. Here's my outfit. But I'm like, when not much is going on in my life, I'm not posting on Instagram that often, you know, so it's like, whatever. But that is a lie. But you know what? The lie goes deeper, actually, because even when I set a timer and say, like, I'm only gonna let myself go on Instagram for 15 minutes, right? Half the time that's a lie. Half the time, me setting that timer is a lie. Because half the time I'll be like, fuck it. Let me just look a little bit more. So it's so tough. Like, I have good boundaries with it, but even I struggle. Like, I am so strict and so rigid and, like, so careful, but even I will fail. It's the hardest, though, when there's some. When I have to. When I'm posting a lot, that's when it's the hardest. Like during Fashion Week or during, like, the Met Gala or something. Like I'm posting so many different things and also I want to look at what other people are posting. Like I want to see what other people are wearing to Fashion Week. I want to see what, like behind the scenes stuff people are posting about the Met Gala. You know, I like love seeing what is going on during those times. I am so on my phone, it's almost like all my rules go out the window. I don't even care. I just let myself indulge in it and then I pay the price and I feel anxious and I feel like shit. I lie to myself that every time I open a social media app, I'm gonna have good boundaries and half the time it's a lie. But I work on it every day. I'm very aware of that lie I tell myself though. I'm very aware of it and I am actively working on it. But it's just, we all know it's tough. Moving on. This episode is brought to you by Journeys. So you know the beloved store Journeys? Yeah. They made a music video and let me tell you, it's the anthem for doing life on Loud. Life on Loud is Journey's new philosophy of self expression. Volume up. Rules off style on full display, it's a new spin on a classic favorite. Gus Apperton is covering the classic new radical song, you get what you give in his very own style. I am truly the biggest fan of Gus Dapperton and I'm also a really big fan of Journeys. So this was definitely up my alley. Honestly. It's iconic, a blast from the past, remixed into 2025. So go to journeys.com and check it out now. This episode is brought to you by Panda Express. There are a lot of ways to say I love you. You can write a song, recite a poem, or just, you know, verbally say I love you. Or you could say it with delicious wok fired food. So take your friends, family or hopeful romantic partner to Panda Express and say it with menu favorites like orange chicken, broccoli, beef or honey walnut shrimp. Or if they're vegetarian like me, the chow mein and super greens are great options too. Panda Express, have you eaten yet? Order now or find your nearest store@panda express.com Another lie I tell myself is that everyone hates me. I tell this lie to myself more often than you would think. But I am aware of why I tell myself this lie so often and why it's so hard to deal with. I think it comes down to my career, which is on the Internet, and I think being A public figure is a very weird thing because as we're all aware, public figures experience an unnatural amount of exposure to other human beings. And what does that lead to? An unnatural amount of opinions, which means an unnatural amount of negative opinions. Okay? Public figures experience more hatred than somebody who's not a public figure. This is obvious. We all know this. But I think because it's such an unnatural thing, the human brain struggles to deal with it. No matter how good you are at being in the public eye, it's tough. And I think because I know I don't even have to see it to know, okay, I don't even have to see what people are saying about me to know that at all times, people are saying mean things about me. At all times, Somewhere on the Internet, people are saying mean things about me. Somewhere in the real world, people are probably saying mean things about me because I'm exposed in a way that's unusual. So I know that at all times, I'm being hated on. I know that. And I think that's such an unnatural experience that it sometimes subconsciously convinces me that I'm just a hated person. And I thought I was the only one who experienced this, but I've actually met many other public figures who have the exact same experience where they just feel hated by society. They feel hated by humanity as a whole. It's a very common thing. I'm talking about beloved celebrities who, like, in the grand scheme of celebrity, are so loved, and even they're like, I feel despised by humanity when, from my perspective, I'm like, literally, everyone loves you. Like, you're not widely hated. That makes no sense. But it's just, I guess, the way that the human brain reacts to that. And so I will convince myself often that everyone hates me. Like, I will just convince myself that I'm a hated person. Now, are there people that hate me? Of course. Are there people who think I'm stupid? Of course. Are there people who think I shouldn't have a job? Of course. Are there people who think I'm annoying? Of course. Are there people who think I'm evil? Of course that's being on the Internet, unfortunately. And that's the case for any public figure. There's not one public figure that is unanimously liked. Right. But I'll let that seep into my psyche, and I will convince myself that everyone hates me. And what pulls me out of that is when I'm out and about and someone comes up to me and says, oh, my God, I listen to your podcast or, you know, I love watching your YouTube videos, whatever, and says, you know, it brings me joy. It brings me value. Like, I'm so grateful for it. Then I'm like, emma, stop. See, look, not everyone hates you. But look, look, there are people who like you. Remember this. But it's so tough. It's so tough because even though in a comment section there can be so many nice comments, the mean ones will really stick in a weird, subconscious way, and it'll. It'll creep back in. In this weird lie that I tell myself that everyone hates me. It's very weird. And again, it's not even rooted in truth because, like, there's people in my life who love me. There's people in my comment section who love me, but it doesn't matter. For some reason, this creeps in. It's very weird, and it is ultimately a lie, so I need to keep it in check. Another lie that I tell myself often is that I'm not jealous. Listen, I do get jealous sometimes, and I feel like I have a pretty good grasp on my jealousy. Like, I have a good method of managing jealousy. But that doesn't mean that I don't get jealous. Like, I've given advice on this podcast about how to handle feelings of jealousy. You know, I know how to handle it, right? But that doesn't mean that those feelings are never gonna come up. I think, like, nobody wants to feel jealous, and even worse, nobody wants to admit that they're jealous. It's just kind of a shameful feeling in a way. And so I sometimes have a hard time admitting to myself that I'm feeling jealous. Like, it takes me time. Even though I feel like I'm good at managing it at this point in my life, I still will lie to myself when feelings of jealousy come up. And I'll lie to myself for a little bit before I admit that I'm jealous. Like, it takes me time. Even though I'm aware of everything that's going on. It's very weird how the brain works. Another lie that I tell myself is that on a particular day, I haven't been productive enough today. I don't deserve to rest. I need to keep going. I haven't gotten enough done today. I do this all the time. This is a lie I tell myself all the time. I. This goes back to the workaholic ness of me. And again, this might sound like I'm like, this is not a flex, by the way. This is not me being like, oh, my God, I'm just, like, so motivated. It's not that Because I actually think that at the end of the day, not even at the end of the day, but like at the end of a month, right? The way that I push myself and then burn out and then can't do anything and then push myself and then burn out and then can't do, like at the end of the month, I probably get the same amount done as somebody who just takes it a bit slower and has a bit more balance. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, being a workaholic, I don't think actually makes you get more done necessarily. Maybe, maybe, But I consider it to be a flaw is what I'm trying to say. The truth is, some days are going to be productive and some are not. And the type of person I am, whether I've been productive or not, I will almost always come to the conclusion that I haven't done enough. I am insatiable. Insatiable? Is that a word? Whatever. I cannot be satisfied. I am rarely satisfied. And so I'm constantly telling myself the lie that I haven't done enough. When it's like, you know what if it's the end of the fucking day and there's no deadline that hasn't been met, I can be done. Do you know what I mean? I can be done. Oh, it's 9pm and there's nothing that has to be done. Okay, then I can be done. You see what I'm saying? That's why it's a lie. Because it's like, if it's the end of the day, I have to stop. Like, there has to be a stopping point. But I. I lie to myself almost on a daily basis and say there's still more to be done. Which leads me to my next lie that I tell myself, which is I'm not tired and burnt out. I'm just a lazy sack of shit. I don't deserve rest. I'm just being lazy and making excuses. Again, this sounds like a flex of a lie that I tell myself, but it really is ultimately detrimental because this type of lie leads me to burnout, leads me to the point where I can't do anything. And I'm very mentally weak. And I've talked about this trait that I have many times. And I have gotten better over the years at not getting to this point, not succumbing to this lie, recognizing this lie. I've gotten better at it. But that doesn't mean that I don't still lie to myself about these things. Sometimes I do. Okay, the next lie I tell myself, I can take on more responsibilities. When I think about my life in the plate, like, you know the metaphor of like, what you have on your plate. I am really bad at properly analyzing my plate. And I constantly lie to myself about what I can put on my plate. I will look at my plate, my metaphorical plate, and there'll be one small little corner open where I could put something there. And technically that, that portion of the plate is like for sleeping or hanging out with people that I care about. But I'll be like, that's an open space. Let me take on some more responsibilities. And then I have a mental breakdown and then I have to take. And then I have to take the plate and I have to scoop everything into the trash can. And then I can't do anything again. All of this stuff, all this, like, work related stuff sounds like a flex until you realize that it actually leads to a state where I can't do anything. And then I get nothing done for a little bit until I recharge my battery. And again, I'm getting better at all this stuff. But I'm including it on this list of lies that I tell myself because these are very prominent lies that I'm still figuring out how to manage. Another lie I tell myself is once I complete this goal, I'll finally feel a sense of accomplishment and I'll finally allow myself to just finish and complete and be done. You know, like, the work can stop for a little bit and I'll just sit in this sense of accomplishment. No, I really struggle with that. Even when making this list. I'm talking about the list that we're talking about today for this podcast episode. The list of lies I tell myself. I told myself. Once I come up with 10 lies that I tell myself, I will stop writing this podcast outline. I will feel accomplished, and then I will sit down and I will record the episode. Well, I hit 10 and then I decided that's not enough. I need to do 12. Came up with 12 and then said, 12 is not enough. I ended up coming up with 17 because I. I did not feel accomplished until I got to 17. Then I was like, okay, I feel good. Now. I am the type of person that just does not ever feel accomplishment. There's always something. If I'm seeking the feeling of accomplishment, I'll never reach accomplishment. I feel like that's kind of the conclusion I've come to with myself. I almost, I think I need to remove the emotion from it. Like, for example, in making this list of lies that I tell myself instead of Saying, once I get to 10, I'll feel accomplished, and then I can stop. I need to be like, once I reach 10, I'm not gonna feel accomplished, because that's the type of person I am. But I'm going to be done, and that's it. Because it is a lie to think that I'll feel accomplished. I mean, I think there are ways to feel accomplished, even when you're not the type of person who naturally feels accomplished. And I've talked about that before, but I think it's not always realistic, and I think I need to know myself a little bit better. The next lie I tell myself constantly is that I'm dying. Like, in the moment that I'm dying. For example, for the last few weeks, I. I've had a cough, and I have convinced myself on a daily basis that my lungs are collapsing and that I'm having shortness of breath and that I'm dying. And every time I take my oxygen, my oxygen levels are perfect. I am not dying. When I'm on an airplane, I convince myself that the plane will crash soon, and I'm dying. When I'm at a restaurant, sometimes I'll convince myself that I've gotten food poisoning or I've been poisoned, or I'm. Or I've developed an allergic reaction that I've never had before and my throat's closing up and that I'm dying. I convince myself that I'm dying multiple times a day, and I'm not. What my parents always remind me is that, number one, humans are very resilient. Not. That's not to say that, like, listen, we're not immortal, but we're shockingly resilient, like, more than we think we are. You know? And if I'm able to talk, you know what I'm saying? Like, if I'm able to walk and talk and move, I'm not dying. Do you know what I'm saying? I don't know. I'm just. I'm ridiculous, but I'm. This is how my brain works. I'm very anxious, and I'm a mess. And the last lie that I tell myself, I mean, there's definitely more, but this is the last one that I can think of, is that I'm genuinely having a bad gut feeling. Like something bad's gonna happen out of nowhere. Not just, like, something minor, but like something major, like somebody's about to die or something's about to explode or like something intense, something extreme. I'll convince myself that I'm genuinely having a Gut feeling about something tragic happening. And I'm not just anxious and paranoid. No, I'm genuinely having a premonition. No, I'm not. No, I'm not. I just had an intrusive thought about something scary happening. And then I convinced myself that that intrusive thought is a premonition, is my intuition. When everything I've read up about intuition is that it's far more subtle. It's like when I get a bad gut feeling about a person, it's so. This is. Again, it goes back to, like, how certain psychological challenges make no sense. It makes the brain fight against each other. It makes the brain hypocritical. Almost like I lie to myself and say, wait, I think this person's cool. I. I really want to like them when deep down, I get a bad gut feeling about them. Because I don't want to feel that bad gut feeling. I'm avoiding it. I'm avoiding that bad gut feeling that actually should be listened to. But it's easy to ignore because it's not about anything too serious or. And I can't necessarily figure out exactly what it means. It's more vague. It's more soft. It's a whisper. Right? And I actively will ignore that gut feeling. But then when I have a scary thought, as my mom calls it, when I have an intrusive thought that's really scary and disturbing to me, I will obsess over it and convince myself that it's a premonition and that it's gonna happen. When in reality, everything I know about intuitive feelings is that it is much more subtle, much more abstract, and much less intense. It's not like this is about to happen and it's about to be really scary and bad. It's like more like a. Almost like a spiritual guide inclining you to do something or not do something. But what's kind of hypocritical about it is that I know that a subtle, little soft gut feeling is one to pay attention to, because that's what intuition is. And yet I ignore that one. But then when I get some sort of loud, intrusive thought, I'll convince myself that that's intuition when I know that that's not. The brain is so complicated. It's. And I feel like mine especially is complicated, but it's. It's not everybody's is complicated, but I feel like mine sucks sometimes. I'm like, why are you like this? Nothing even makes sense. Like, half the time, shit doesn't even make sense. That's going on in there. But that's enough of. That's enough of my brain for the day, to be honest. Like, I think we all need a break from Emma's brain for the rest of the day. So I'm gonna stop talking now. I'm gonna spend the rest of my day doing things that are mindless because it's the evening time and I think I've earned it. I encourage you all to face the lies that you tell yourself head on. It's an ongoing practice, I think, that you'll never perfect necessarily, but it's a practice that I think is worth starting to practice as soon as possible. And with that, I thank you all for listening and if you enjoyed this episode. New episodes of Anything Goes every Thursday and Sunday. You can tune in and hang out twice a week if you want or not. And that's fine, too. Anything Goes is everywhere. You stream podcasts, but if you want to watch video that's only on YouTube and Spotify, anything Goes is on social media at Anything Goes. I'm on the Internet at Emma Chamberlain, and my coffee company is in the world and on the Internet. Amberlincoffee. I love you all. I appreciate you all. I have a chin hair that I need to pluck. It's like, really bothering me, so I, like, really need to do that now. So I really need to wrap this up. I love you all. I appreciate you all. Thank you for listening and hanging out. It's always a pleasure. And next time I see you, my chin hair will be plucked out. Hopefully you didn't notice it, but now that I brought it up, you're gonna probably, like, go back a little bit and zoom in and try to find it. So I've really sort of screwed myself over there. Okay, I have to stop recording. Like, I have to stop this. We have to be done. Bye. I love you. Your teen Adjective used to describe an individual whose spirit is unyielding, unconstrained One who navigates life on their own terms, effortlessly. They do not always show up on time, but when they arrive, you notice an individual confident in their contradictions. They know the rules, but behave as if they do not exist. The new fragrance by Miu Miu defined by you. Mutine Adjective used to describe an individual whose spirit is unyielding, unconstrained. One who navigates life on their own terms, effortlessly. They do not always show up on time, but when they arrive, you notice an individual confident in their contradictions. They know the rules, but behave as if they do not exist. New Teen the new fragrance by Miu Miu defined by you.