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Let's begin this episode with a story. I have a little crush right now. Okay? A little crush. And when I say a little crush, I literally mean a little crush. This is a crush. So little that it will never leave the confines of my mind. Okay? I will never pursue this man in real life. This is simply a little crush for my brain to enjoy in this moment of being newly single. Like, this is. This is just a little something for my single brain to chew on and nothing more. I will never date this man in real life. I can almost 100% promise you that. I can like 98% promise you that. Why? Because there are so many variables in place that make it so that I should never be with this man. Probably can never be with this man. Like, it just doesn't make sense. But here's the deal. I see him all the time in passing. I see him multiple times a week. And you want to know the craziest part? I have never spoken to him. Never once. It's very clear that this person is shy. Apparently, I'm shy too. I cannot talk to him. In fact, I can't even look at him. I've barely ever even made eye contact with him. I've only ever, like, looked at him from afar and been like, wow, really handsome. And then the second, like, his head moves to where maybe he could slightly see me, I look away. Now this is an issue I need to get comfortable with talking to boys and even more than that, maybe flirting a little with boys. I don't even know how to make eye contact with him. How am I supposed to talk to him? Now I know what some of you are thinking. Emma, he's not talking to you either. True. And I've thought about it a lot. Like, is that a red flag in a guy if they don't, you know, initiate? I don't think it is. I don't know. I'm actually really conflicted about it. I don't know if it's a red flag or not. On one hand, it's like, for me personally, I do prefer a guy to be forward with me, to make the first move. I prefer that I kind of need that. I can't even make eye contact with a guy that I sort of, a little bit, have a crush on that I will never date. Like, if I can't make eye contact with a guy where there's no stakes. Like, obviously I can't make the first move with a guy where maybe there are stakes. Cuz maybe I actually might like this guy. You know what I mean, imagine so I really rely on the guy to make the first move. So for me, is it a red flag if they don't? Well, kind of up until this point, because we just probably won't speak. But on the other hand, maybe it's a red flag. Maybe it's my red flag that I'm afraid to talk to them. What does that say about me? I briefly interrupt this episode to let you know that this episode is presented by Venmo. Okay, hear me out. Apparently you can earn cash back with your Venmo debit card. All you have to do is join Venmo Stash and boom, you get cash back when you shop at your favorite brands. It's kind of an awesome flex. With Venmo Stash, you can get up to 5% cash back at your fave brands. Just pick a bundle of your go tos to shop with your Venmo debit card and earn cash back at them. And you're free to mix things up. You can easily swap out your bundle of brands every 30 days. Start earning when you do more with Stash. Venmo Stash terms and exclusions apply. Max $100 cash back per month. See terms at Venmo Me Stash terms. Now back to the episode. If I were to look inward, why can't I make the first move? Why can't I? Fear of rejection. That's it. And I actually know where it stems back to. Right where it stems from. Stems from high school. This guy I had a crush on at a beach bonfire decided that he was going to make out with me that night. Lucky me. Well, at the time, I was very inexperienced and very, very, very frightened by boys, which clearly I still am, perhaps because of this experience. So he, like, walked me. He actually carried me. He was very bizarre. He, like, picked me up and carried me kind of as a joke, but whatever. Into kind of a private area behind some rocks at the beach, started making out with me and I didn't know what to do. And I clearly did not perform well. And he very quickly stepped back, looked at me, looked disgusted, turned around and walked away and left me there by myself to just rot. I have never been the same from. Wait, this just got so deep. No, but I have never been the same. And now I'm so afraid of making the first move or, like, doing anything because I'm like, I don't want to ever feel that feeling again. And there's a potential to feel that feeling if you put a little effort in, make a little flirty. Little eye at a. At a guy. You know, I'm. I'm, like, scared to look at this guy that I have a little crush on and maybe, like, smirk a little. Would I ever do that? I don't even know if that. Is that even a thing people do. I don't even know. But I'm afraid to, like, even open anything up because I'm so afraid of rejection. And again, this is with a guy that I will never date. Like, I'm not gonna date this man. I. It's just fun for my brain. But I'm. I can't make any sort of first move because I'm so afraid of feeling rejected. But I. I really do think another reason why I'm afraid is because I'm not confident in my flirting skills necessarily. If someone's flirting with me and is like, the banter is so good, and they're really steering the ship, I can banter easily, no problem. If somebody's good at it, I can be good at it, right? But if somebody's not great at it or not super forward with it. I don't know how to steer the ship, and I think that that'd be a nice thing to know how to do. I think it would be nice to feel confident in my flirting skills as, like, an initiator, because who knows what shy, wonderful guys I'm missing out on because I'm too afraid to do a little flirt first and see what happens. It's confusing because I know I have it in me to flirt, right? I do. Because if somebody's flirting with me really hard, like, I'm there, I can show up, but they have to really be into me. I have to, like, know it has. They have to, like, basically be, like, yelling in my face, like, I'm obsessed with you, and I need to be with you, and I need to see your body. Like, I. Like, I need that. I need it to be very clear. And I think that is maybe holding me back from exploring potential options that could be actually really wonderful options. Who knows, right? And so I've decided it's time for me to learn how to flirt. I want to learn how to take initiative. Because here's the thing. I am very outgoing. Talking to people, conversating with people. It can sometimes be exhausting for me. But I. I'm good at it. I think. I think I'm pretty good at it. Like, I avoid awkward moments. I'm good at, you know, like, the talking itself is not what I'm nervous about. It's getting a Little flirty. That's what scares me. But see, the thing is, when it comes to, like, talking to boys, right, I get intimidated to just talk normally to boys, feeling like, wait, well, what if, what if there's an opportunity to flirt and I don't take it? So then it just psychs me out altogether. I think I'm not gonna like, talk to this crush that I see multiple times a week and immediately start flirting with him. Like, that's. This is more just symbolic of the work that needs to be done. Which is, I think if I felt more confident in my flirting skills, if I felt more well rounded, then perhaps I would be not intimidated by walking up and going for it. And I know that like a lot of flirting and stuff is intuitive. It kind of needs to be intuitive, but I genuinely don't know what to do. Like, I don't know what to do if someone else is not guiding the situation. And I genuinely want to learn. This episode is brought to you by ebay. Tell me if I'm alone here. But shopping used to feel more fun before all the algorithm fed blah and the endless sea of dupes. But I have a confession. I found that fun feeling again on ebay. It's not mindless scrolling. It's a fashion pursuit. And when you score that rare sneaker or that bag, you've been manifesting, it's a rush. Ebay has millions of pre loved finds from hundreds of brands backed by ebay. Authenticity guarantee eBay things people love. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. So you've been thinking about starting a website over the holidays, but keep putting it off because it sounds, well, hard. Like finding the perfect gift for somebody who has everything hard. Enter Squarespace. Their design intelligence tools use AI and expert design magic to whip up a site that's not just functional, but full of personality. Yours. Go to squarespace.com emma for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use code emma to get 10% off of your first purchase of a website or domain. To start, I thought we would take a quiz. I just love taking online quizzes, to be honest. I think it's so fun. It's a weird thing that I like to do, but I like to do it. And so we're gonna do it and we're gonna see. We're gonna test my baseline flirting ability because it's like I can share with you all how I think I am, but let's have a random quiz from the Internet. Tell me how good I am. You know, What I mean. Okay, first question. Pick an opening line. Option one. Is it just me, or did the room get a little brighter when you walked in? No one's ever said that. I will never say that. It's. Let. Stop. Next. Have we met? No, we should fix that. That's pretty bad too. Well, it's also like, have we met? No, we should fix that. It's like, well, now you're meeting. You know, you already. Now you've already met because now you're talking, so. But that one maybe. Next. Is this seat taken? Do you want it to be? That one's actually not that bad. Like, if you really pulled it off, it's a little corny, but, like, that's not terrible. Okay, next. Are you a camera? Because I see you and can't help but smile. Like, no one's ever said that. So it's between. Have we met? No, we should fix that. And is this seat taken? Do you want it to be? I like, is the seat taken? Do you want it to be? I could see myself doing that sarcastically and the guy cringing a little, but being like, oh, she's cringe, but it's, like, charming. Like, she's being silly with that one. Being like, have we met? No, we should fix that. That's kind of icky. I don't know. That. That one might not come off as cute. Okay, next. How much eye contact do you use when you flirt? I actually would say I. I'm pretty normal with the eye contact. I'm not somebody who's gonna, like, stare into the eyes unless I'm, like, really drunk and I don't drink anymore. See, that's complicated things, too. Whoa. That just added a whole new dimension. I'm gonna have an existential crisis because every other time I've ever been single, it's been hard enough for me to, like, get out there and really flirt and really go for it. And that was with alcohol. Now I'm sober. You know what? It's going to be an incredible growth experience. And for that reason, it's totally fine. Okay, back to the question at hand. How much eye contact do I use when I flirt? Well, when I am flirting, I would say the eye contact's normal. I. I don't overdo it unless I'm, like, really drunk, and it's like, really a moment. But for the most part, I would say normal eye contact. It's. It's the same as, like, how I would make eye contact. Anyway, next question. What's your go to style of flirting option? One, make sure to drop lots of flattering, sweet compliments. Option two, Tend to use humor and my quick wit to draw them in. Option three, honestly, just focus on holding the conversation and see where it goes from there. Option four. I do pretty much anything to get their attention and then keep it however I can. I would say the most me would be either the humor one or just focus on holding the conversation and seeing where it goes. I would say I usually try to use humor, which can be good and bad. It can be good if we're working with somebody who's funny. It can be bad if we're dealing with somebody who maybe isn't so funny. So it's, like, hard to bounce off of them, perhaps. Like, I don't know, they're not getting it. So I'm gonna say humor, because that's what I like to do if it works out okay. Next, choose your favorite physical way of flirting. Ooh, scares me. Option one. Sly, suave wink at just the right moment. No one does that. Like, I would maybe do that. Like, I'm trying to imagine. Is there any world where I would do that? Maybe as a joke. As a joke, maybe. But even I don't think I would ever do that. And I would probably do that if I was, like, friends with a guy that I wanted to flirt with. Like, if we had been friends for six months and the crush developed, and then it's like, okay, a little funny wink, maybe, but not. That's weird. Nobody actually does that. Seriously. I feel like maybe I'm wrong. Next option. Accidentally brushing hands together for a moment of contact. I would do that. Yeah. Next option. Sorry, I just had a memory of one. Somebody of when one of my exes did that to me, and it made me kind of sad, but, like, not that sad, but, like, it just. It brought back a memory. Let me be nostalgic. Moving on. Next, shifting in my seat to face them and give them all my attention. I would do that. And lastly, biting my lip super seductive, seductively. Again, no one does that. I wouldn't even do that in the most seductive of moment. Like, I. It could be. I can guarantee you this. I will be on my deathbed, and I will have never bit my lip seductively. Seriously, like, I will be. I will look back at my most sexist sex. I will look back at the most. Oh, my God. Wow. Emma had sex that day. Like, that was the day Emma had the most sex she ever had. And I will have not bit my lip. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, that will never happen. So I would say the most likely thing I would do, I think before I'd even be confident enough to brush the hands together for a moment of contact, I would probably shift in my seat to face them. I do that anyway. Like that's just who I am. So maybe actually that's not flirting because I just would do that. I would do that with a guy and I do that with an old woman I met on, on a, a bus. You know what I'm saying? So I'm going to say accidentally brushing our hands together, cuz that's actually flirting, whereas the other one's not. Okay, next. How close to the other person do you like to be when you flirt? Option one, super close, as long as they're comfortable with it. I like to have each other's full attention. Option two, close enough to touch them if the moment feels right, like we're good friends. Option three, I like to keep a respectful distance away, like a table between us. Honestly, that's clearly me right now. Option four, I'll flirt from across the room if I have to. I like a challenge. I would say in an ideal world, how close would I like to be? I would say not super close. I don't like being super close. It's a little bit too much for me. I would say close enough to touch them cause I think like being a table length away. Listen, that sounds wonderful because I'm so afraid of flirting. But I think in an ideal world, if I'm flirting with somebody and the vibe is good, I mean, I want to be close enough to touch them. What the next question. Do you like to make the first move? No. Okay, easy one. Next. Do you like having a wingman to help set you up? Yes. Oh my God, I forgot about this. Yes. I can't. It is so hard for me to flirt alone. I am so guilty of like having a friend next to me and like bouncing off of them and like using them as a crutch. It's so bad and I need to stop. So I'm answering. Sometimes it helps. I won't lie. Next question. How do you usually feel when someone attractive is nearby? Option one, someone attractive. You mean me? I feel totally comfortable wherever I go. Option two, they're definitely on my radar, but I keep it casual, normal, it's no big deal. Next. I might get a little nervous, but I think I keep it together pretty well. And last, I feel like they're competition and there can only be one winner. Oh wait, but why are you competing with somebody you're attracted to. Oh. What? Okay, well, I think the answer that seems to be resonating most is they're definitely on my radar. But I keep it casual, normal. It's no big deal. But sometimes I'm, like, too casual, too normal, too no big deal, to the point where it's like, I'm, like, not even, like, looking at them. Okay, next. Be honest and no judgment. Have you ever lied about your interests to impress someone else? No. Well, I mean, like, maybe when I was 8. Because let me tell you, I have been in a cycle of having a crush consistently since I was literally 4 years old. Like, I have barely ever had a break. I love having a crush. I always have a crush. It's just who I am. That's why I have a crush right now. That's, like, not even somebody that I actually should ever be with because I just always have to have a crush. And right now, for whatever reason, this guy has just become my crush. But, like, it could. I will drop it in a second if I. If something that actually makes sense comes around. But I just, for my brain, for whatever reason, need to always have a crush. I've always had a crush. It's who I am. Yeah, I don't need to lie. Like, these days, I'm not lying. That's weird. Okay, next. Who do you usually flirt with? Option one, I usually only flirt with my date. Option two, I tend to flirt with total strangers. Option three, I mostly flirt with people I've known for a little while. Option four, I'll flirt with just about anyone who seems interesting. I would say I've. I mostly flirt with people I've known for a little while, for sure. Mainly people I'm dating who I know like, me. And even flirting with, like, somebody I'm dating can be hard if, like, I'm. No. Well, maybe not hard, but, like, once you're dating, the flirting changes. It's not the same type, you know, so then it's kind of in a different category. Okay, next question. Choose a way to impress someone you're flirting with. Option one, Recite a classic romantic poem from memory that is hell to me. Hell who? No, that is. No to me. That's a little. Maybe a little cringe. And I'm very afraid of being cringe on accident, you know? Like, I don't ever want to be. It's not even. It's cringe because it's a little performative, you know? But then again, I don't want to be, like, rude if somebody, you know, memorized a poem and wants to share it. Like, who am I to judge, right? But if I were to do it, it would feel performative. And so that's why I think it would be cringe. Okay, next, I bring up a tiny detail they mentioned earlier to show them that I'm paying close attention. That's me coded. Option three, I do something small and polite, like hold the door or pay for their meal. I would also do that. Option four, I show them one of my special skills, like tying a knot in a cherry stem with my tongue. See that? It would be nice to have some sort of, like, little, like, subtly, almost kind of like hot little thing like that. I don't have that, so that's definitely not. I mean, I'd love to do that, but see that also I feel like would be performative if I were to do it. So, no, I would say the most me is bringing up a tiny detail they mentioned earlier. And last question. Do you like to give gifts to the other person to win them over? No. Gift giving is not my love language at all. So, no. And, like, I already get anxiety about giving gifts if it was to somebody I had a crush on. Like, no. Okay, let's see my results. Oh. It says you've got natural charm. You're not a huge flirter. True. But you've got tons of charisma, and you tend to charm the people you meet anyway. Sometimes you're probably not even aware you're doing it. That's so nice. And I needed to hear that. I, like, start crying because I'm so scared of flirting. When you flirt with someone, they tend to have fun just talking to you and seeing what you'll say next. And if you're not spending the rest of the evening chatting together, they're walking away with a smile and a little flutter in their heart. And we know you already know, but just remember to stay respectful and make sure others are comfortable, which is key to a successful flirt. Now get out there and strut your stuff. It says, thank you, wikihow. Randomly. My favorite website. Yeah, I. That's the other thing with flirting. I always am afraid of, like, weirding them out or creeping them out. Like, I don't ever want to be creepy. And so my, like, fear of being creepy also gets in the way. It's like, there's so many things, so many mental blocks that I have getting in the way of me flirting. And to be honest, perhaps it's not even that. I need to look up a guide on how to flirt online, which I'm still going to do anyway, because I'm curious if it'll help me, but perhaps it's actually addressing the root issue, which is that high school trauma, but also to fear of rejection, but also 2 being afraid of being creepy, right? Like I know I'm not creepy. I know I would never do anything creepy. But it's like I'm such a overthinker that, you know, I psych myself out. But anyway, that's reassuring. Like I have it in me. Even this random quiz I found online told me I have it in me. But let's get into this article I found also on wikiHow how to flirt with a Guy. Let's see what it has to say. I briefly interrupt this episode to let you know that this episode is brought to you by State Farm Insurance may all seem the same on the surface, but having insurance isn't the same as having State Farm. It's like planning a day trip to what you thought was a lovely lake, only to arrive at a pond full of pests. Technically, water not the vibe you wanted. You wouldn't settle for a sludgy swim spot, so don't settle for just any insurance. When it comes to getting the help you need, State Farm is the real deal. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Now back to the episode Part one, Flirting from across the Room. Number one, make eye contact. Eye contact is a key flirting technique which can be implemented anywhere at any time, as long as your crush is in sight. While you don't want it to look like you're staring deep into his soul, lingering eye contact will show him you're interested. Here's the thing. I and see, this is why I'm nervous. Because this okay, I have to preface this crush that I have now. It's so not serious. It's so not that deep. But this is like the first guy that I've been exposed to enough where like a little crush has been able to form. There's actually an opportunity where it's like, oh, maybe I could talk to him and flirt with him and have a little bit of fun. Not even like flirt with him. Who knows, right? I'm still trying to get over the barrier of just even talking to him at all, or even making eye contact with him. But he's more of sort of this wake up call for me of what I need to work on, because I'm imagining what it would be like if there was like an opportunity to flirt with him where it made sense, like a little something. And I'm like, oh, wow. I'm not prepared. So just keep this in mind. Anyway, I see this man so often, and I literally have never looked at him. And there has been. There was an opportunity, literally today, where we were. We walked right by each other. And you want to know what I did? Looked at the ground. I kid you not. I looked at the ground. I walked by. Oop. Head down. I am really. I. I'm bad at even this. Okay. You know, I. I think eye contact is, like, the easiest first step. But I think what's hard about it is, like, you don't want to be caught staring, because that's kind of. See, that feels creepy to me. That's the issue with, like, looking from across the room is I don't want to seem creepy. And to me, like, staring seems creepy. And then it's like, okay, if he looks back and I, like, smile a little and look away, that's not really creepy. But I'm scared that I would get startled if he looked back at me. And then I would, like, look away really quickly because I would get startled. That's my fear. And I'm also afraid of, like, what will my little smirk look like? I don't know. I literally don't know. So I don't know that I'm ready for this one. I actually feel like this one's more advanced than we all would think. I think I need to build a little bit more confidence first. But at some point, it would be nice to. To feel the confidence to, like, look from across the room and make eye contact, and then, you know, do a little smirk and maybe look away. Well, that leads us to step two. When flirting across the room to smile. Studies have shown that smiling actually makes you more attractive to other people. So work that into your advantage by flashing those pearly whites. See, I will say there is something that I do that is a weird, indirect form of flirting, which is that for whatever reason, naturally, when I'm around somebody that I have a crush on, I will smile so much more. I can't stop smiling. I can't wipe the smile off my face. And I think it is a subconscious thing. Like, I know deep down that that is an attractive thing. It's, like, almost biological. It's instinctual. I know that. Also, I think, too, because I'm feeling so joyful, because how joyful it is to be around a crush. What's better? But this, I actually think I already do. However, smiling from across the room, no, but smiling around them, yes. In fact, with this particular crush That I have right now. I can't stop smiling and laughing when I'm around him, even though he's far away and is not looking. Okay, next. Use body language. Even if you haven't opened your mouth, you can say a great deal by just using your body language. Smiling and eye contact are part of this, but there are a few other things you should be aware of. Don't cross your arms. Ooh. See, that's a bad habit I have. When I get nervous, I do cross my arms. And a lot of times when I'm around a crush, I will sometimes get a bit agitated inside and I will, like, cross my arms out of instinct. I know that I do that, so that's something to consider. And, you know, people have given me advice before. They're like, emma, just be open. Be light. And I'm a very tense person, so that's hard for me. Next, it says, flip your hair. Well, that is not going to work for me because I don't have much. And next, play with your jewelry, such as a necklace. I don't really wear necklaces a lot, but yeah, okay. I just need to be more open. I need to, like, have a more open, like, loose energy. I need to, like, be mindful and loose in these moments. Okay, next. Find subtle ways to put yourself in his path. This is something I'm actually better at. Like, I'm good at that because I'm, you know, like, I'm good at the plot. I can plan ahead. I'm a planner. I love planning things. I love my Google calendar. I love my paper planner. I use a Google calendar and a paper planner. That's how much I love planning. So planning an interaction for me. Planning like, a run in, you know, not in, like, a creepy way, but, like, being like, oh, he's walking this way. Maybe I'll walk that way, too. Or, like, I'll cross path. I can do that part. But then once I'm in the moment, I'm looking at the floor. I am looking at the floor. Okay, next, look your best. Give yourself an added boost of confidence by looking your very best whenever your crush is around. This doesn't mean tiny skirts, high heels, and lashings of mascara. Just means you should take some pride in your appearance by being well groomed and neatly dressed. I think this is good advice, and I actually think I. This is something that I do. I now, more than ever in my life, like to feel put together, well groomed, clean. It makes me feel good. It definitely helps with confidence. Clearly, not enough, but, like, Imagine if I didn't feel cute and I was nervous. You know, this definitely helps, but it's not really advice I need right now. Next, consider making the first move. Okay, well, that's an issue, because I clearly am not good at that. So tell me how to do that. I don't know how to do that. That's why we're here. Okay, next. Flirting in person. Okay, now we're getting into it, right? See, with my current situation, my symbolic situation, the situation that got us here, the situation that is causing this reflection, right? We're not even there yet. We're. And we might even never. We might never be there. To be honest, I. I might never. I might go my entire life and never, ever speak to this man. But eventually, I will be flirting with somebody in person. Hopefully soon, maybe tomorrow, who knows? Okay, start talking. It says one of the best ways to move the situation along and flirt more openly is to get involved in a conversation with your crush. Find an opportunity to chat him up about something you have in common, whether it's school, work, or a recent event. Open with a question with a note to try to avoid asking questions that can be answered with a simple yes or no transition to talking about him. People love to talk about themselves and use his name a lot. It's a fact that people love to hear their own name in a conversation. See, the thing that I. I struggle with is I never want to feel. I never want it to be obvious to the other person that I'm, like, trying to start a conversation, and so I want it to happen naturally because it's so obvious when someone's coming up with a question that's just kind of, like, empty for the sake of starting conversation. And I never want to do that because I never want to reveal my intentions too soon. I always want to because maybe I don't like them after talking to them, Right? Like, you don't want to start flirting right off the bat before you know their personality. What if you start talking and you're like, ooh, I actually don't think I'm interested at all. And I don't want to be flirty. I just maybe would want to be friendly with this person. So I would always. I want conversation to come up naturally, but you can't. Like, you can't force that. But also, is this just an excuse for me to not start conversation? Like, maybe I just have to be smart and, like, think of how to naturally start a conversation in a way that feels truly organic but is actually, you know, kind of Plotted, I guess. Okay, next. Smile and laugh. I know you guys already told me this. Smiling and laughing throughout your conversation shows that you're comfortable around your crush and when, more than that, you enjoy listening to him talk. See, I feel like once I'm at a point where I'm in a conversation with a. With a guy, like, smiling and laughing is easy. That's just who I am. I love to smile and laugh in a conversation. If smiling and laughing is. Is. Is makes sense. Next, break the touch barrier. Okay, see, now we're. Now we're getting ahead to, like, things have to. We have to know that this person likes me back. The flirting has to be obvious. Otherwise, this, to me, is, like, I'm scared. Touch his forearm lightly. While you're talking, casually put a hand or elbow on his shoulder. Ooh, that feels a little. Well, I guess if. If you're, like, facing. If you're, like, face to face and you, like, put a hand on the shoulder, that's a little. But if you're, like, standing side by side, maybe not as weird. See, like, that's. Yeah. Okay, accidentally lean into him. If you're walking together, straighten his collar. Oh, my God. See, at that point, if I'm straightening up a collar, we're dating. Unless I'm, like, really. If I was, like, really good friends with a guy and I wanted to flirt a little, maybe. I do think that breaking the touch barrier, it is important. I do think it kind of, like, it sends a signal. Like, hey, you know, it does move things along a little, but I'm nervous about it. But I think the key to it for me is just gonna be like, I just need to do it in a way where, like, I would do this with a friend. I would do that with anyone, you know? But within the context of, like, oh, but maybe there's a little bit of flirtiness too. It could read more flirty, but I think that's gonna be the key for me because I'm actually not a super touchy person. Unless it's, like, with my best, best friends, I'm. I wouldn't consider myself to be a touchy person, but I'm gonna keep it in mind because I do think it helps. Next, draw attention to your body, guys. This is crazy. Guys are visual creatures, so. So nothing gets them like a sneaky flash of flesh here and there. Subtly drawing attention to your body every now and then will get his heart racing and help him realize how much he likes you. Rub your shoulder. Ask if you should get your belly button pierced. Lick your lips. Be careful not to overdo things here. Drawing attention to your body can work very well, but only if it's used in moderation. Okay. See, I feel weird about this one. Like, this one scares me, and I think it's because I lack confidence in, like, a sexual way. Like, I. I have, like, imposter syndrome with being, like, sexy, you know, and it doesn't make any sense because, like, I'm so down to, like, wear a sexy outfit. But then, like, to me, I'm like, this might be a sexy outfit, but, like, I have imposter syndrome about being sexy in the outfit. Does that make sense? Like, I. Even though I'm wearing the sexy outfit and I feel sexy, or. No, I don't feel sexy. That's the problem. But even though I'm maybe in this sexy outfit, even though everyone is sexy in their own way, I have imposter syndrome and feel like I am not. I'm funny and I'm silly and I'm outgoing and I'm playful, but I'm not sexy. That's an issue. That's. Deep down. That's like, Emma needs to call a therapist for that one. That one is deep in the gut. We're going to have to get that one out. We're going to have to take a laxative to get that one out. You know, we're going to have to. It's. We're going to have to get a colonoscopy and really get the camera up there to see, like, what. What's all lodged up in there? This is. Okay, I took this all too far, but that's something I need to address on a personal level. So let me just go ahead and journal about that tomorrow, and we'll see what I discover. Okay. Moving on. Dance with him. E. This is my biggest fear. Says dancing with a guy is a fun way to show him that you're into him without being too serious. See, this is tough when you don't drink, right? Like, dancing with a guy. Blackout. At a. At a bar, at a. Well, I guess more. More so at a club. You know, that's. That's one thing. Doing it sober, it's possible, but it's tougher. Not that I'm not down to dance. Like, I'm at a point in my life now, finally, where. Where I can go out and dance and have fun and not care, you know, I used to get kind of embarrassed, but. Yeah, I don't know. I also don't really go out to places where, like, dancing happens a lot. I'm not going to the club very often. You know, I'm not really going to parties like that very often. So there's a chance that this could happen, but probably not. Okay, moving on. Pay him a compliment. Don't expect the compliments to go one way. Guys love to be complimented, too. Making your crush feel noticed and appreciated shows him that you're interested in him as a person and that you're paying attention to what's important. See, that's easy enough. But see, the key to that is that's not even really flirting. I mean, I guess if I was like, wow, like, your hair looks amazing. But the problem is I am a very complimentary person. I love complimenting people. I always will compliment people, especially if I feel like it's due. But even if not, sometimes I'll just. I love. I want to make people feel good. Even if, say, okay, like, I'll give an example of that. Like, even if somebody did their makeup and in a way that maybe I don't like, like, it's not my style, right? If I can tell that they put effort into their makeup, I'll say, your makeup looks incredible tonight. It might not be my taste, but if I can tell somebody put effort into something, I will compliment it because I think that that's. That deserves a compliment. I am a very complimentary person. So this isn't like, yeah, this is easy for me, but that's because I would compliment literally anyone. So this is just my nature. This is an ad by BetterHelp. The holidays are here, and that means it's time to lean back into tradition. When I was a kid, we used to have a Christmas Eve party. We'd watch the Santa tracker online to see where Santa was, and we'd play board games. And then we'd go to bed late and wake up in the morning to a bunch of presents under the tree and listen. This time of year comes with a lot of traditions, and it's easy to spread yourself thin trying to keep up with everything going on. Even just making time for all the holiday parties can be exhausting. Maybe you could start a new tradition where you just take a moment for yourself and de stress. Or book a session with an experienced therapist from BetterHelp. They'll easily match you with a fully qualified professional, someone who can make sure you're taking care of you this December. Start a new tradition by taking care of you. Our listeners get 10% off at betterhelp.com/anything that's better h lp.com anything this episode is brought to you by Panda Express There are a lot of ways to say I love you. You can write a song, recite a poem, or just, you know, verbally say I love you. Or you could say it with delicious wok fired food. So take your friends, family or hopeful romantic partner to Panda Express and say it with menu favorites like orange chicken, broccoli, beef or honey walnut shrimp. Or if they're vegetarian like me, the chow mein and super greens are great options too. Panda Express have you eaten yet? Order now or find your nearest store@panda express.com this episode of Anything Goes is brought to you by Pandora Jewelry. 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Envision converting discounts on this week's stay into rewards for a luxurious beach getaway next year. No complicated math, no blackout dates. Just you choosing how to make your travels work harder for you. Only@hotels.com Save youe Ways available to loyalty members in the US and UK on hotels with member prices. Other terms apply. See site for details. Next, Playfully tease him. Some playful teasing can be a great flirting technique. If used correctly, teasing can create a sense of intimacy and show the guy that you have a sense of humor. Just be warned, if you give it, you need to be able to take it. I'm good with this. The teasing I'm. I'm good at, I think. Well, it's interesting. The teasing vibe to me feels. I was gonna say it feels kind of immature, but maybe not, maybe not. I like the teasing because it's kind of protective in a way. You know what I mean? It's not vulnerable. I'm scared of the vulnerable stuff. This is not as scary to me, I would love to tease my crush. Easy. You know, if I'm at that point, it's like touching the arm. That's scary. Cause that's a little bit more vulnerable. Teasing somebody is not necessarily, like, saying that you like them. If anything, it's, like, really the opposite. And so that's not that hard for me. And when it comes to, like, being able to take it, I can take it. In fact, I actually, for me, I love being teased by a guy. I love that kind of banter. I mean, obviously, there's like, a limit, right? Like, you don't want to only get teased. You want also to get a compliment, too. But I like a little teasing. In fact, I think I need that kind of banter. Like, I need teasing and, like, funny in order to feel, for the lack of a better word, aroused. But, like, that is kind of crucial for me. I've learned over the years. Like, I need to be silly with the boy or else. Yeah, it's like I'm not there, you know? Like, I can't be there sexually, honestly. So am I sharing too much? I don't know. Okay, moving on. Leave him wanting more. Don't let the conversation drag on so long that he has time to get bored or distracted. Instead, walk away while he's still interested so that he can't wait to see you again. This is easy for me because I am so hyper aware of overstaying my welcome in a conversation. Like, I'm constantly giving people an out because I never want anyone to feel like, oh, my God, I'm talking to Emma, and I don't want to talk to Emma anymore. You know? Like, I'll even say shit. Like, I can't remember a time where I've said this, but I. It's not out of the realm of possibility that I would say something along the lines of, like, you don't need to talk to me anymore. By the way, you can go. You can. You can do a lap. Don't let me hold you hostage. Like, I would say that. Now, here's the thing. That's a complicated thing, right? Because it's like, if I'm, like, I'm holding you hostage, I can let you go. Like, if I say that, does that really give them an out? Like, they're still kind of. What are they gonna do? Say, yeah, you know, now that you mention it, I'm out of here. Like, and I'll even try. Like, I. I really try to not stay in conversations for too long either. I will try to, like, the second it starts to slow down, I'm out for everyone's sake. Okay, next we have flirting over text. Okay, see, here's the thing. Flirting over text, no problem. I don't even need to read the advice. Actually, maybe I will. We'll skim it. We'll skim it and see if there's something I don't already know. But flirting over text is easy because you have time to think. It's easy. You can, like, phone a friend. You know, I can text a screenshot into my group chat with my two best friends and be like, what do I say? And then boom. And that goes back to, like, needing a wingman. As I mentioned earlier. Like, I, I, when I have help, when I back up, flirting is no problem. It's when I'm alone. Let's see what it has to say about flirting over text. I'm curious. First piece of advice, text him accidentally. If you're not sure how to get a text conversation going, one good tactic is to text him, pretending you think he's someone else. Like your best friend. No, I would never do that. I don't like games. If I want to text somebody, I want to do it with intention. I want to text somebody and be like, you know what? Hi. Hey. Or I want to, like, Like, I'll send them something. I'll be like, oh, my God, thought of you. Lol. I'm not going to, like, fake accidentally text somebody. That to me is, like, weird. I don't like that. That's, like, weird. Okay, next. Don't be boring. Boring text messages are pointless. Texting things like, what's up? Or what's the weather forecast for tomorrow? Has anyone ever said that? If anyone has ever said that they need, they need to be reading this article and they. Maybe they are. Wait. An example of a text that's interesting that they think is interesting is quickly, help me choose donut or chocolate muffin. If anyone wants to know my answer, I would probably choose a donut. But that's weird. See, like, that's still. That's like, too far in the other direction. Like, I think texting your, Your, your crush out of the blue and saying, quick, help me choose. I really can't. That's actually kind of funny. That's kind of fun. But that, to me reads and feels like you're just trying to talk about whatever. Like, I, I think we're all busy people, you know, we got shit to do. Who has time to be, like, bantering like that? You know, I'd rather be A bit more intentional with it and say something like, what's an example of what I maybe would think would be, like, a good text that's not boring? See, I always think of, like, sending a photo of something, like, if I saw something interesting that day or. But like, what? Like, what would I send a photo? Oh, no, I'm screwed. Maybe I do need to be reading this because I'm clearly. I don't know. I don't know how to not be boring over text. See, but I don't love, like, text flirting like this. I. I would rather hang out in person and then for, like, that to, like, inspire ideas of, like, what to text about in between, to kind of keep the contact going. Like, if the last time we hung out, we talked about donuts, for example. Okay, then maybe it does make sense to, like, send a picture of, like, you know, a donut case at a coffee shop and be, like, getting one because of us. You know what I mean? Like, that's maybe kind of cute. I don't know. Okay, next, Leave some questions hanging. Once you're in a text conversation, try not to be overly enthusiastic responding to every single thing in his last message. These kinds of text messages can be confusing and make you seem too eager. See, again, this feels like games to me. Like, if I've been asked questions, I'm going to answer the fucking questions. You know, I'm not going to play games and be like, I'm going to tactfully choose not to answer this one because I'm trying to. I don't like that. If somebody likes you, they're going to want you to, like. It's going to be a green flag if you're a good communicator. So, no, I don't like that advice. Next. Be suggestive. Once things really get going and you feel more comfortable with your texting, you can start to heat things up a little, dropping not so subtle hints that you're interested in being more than friends. An example text would be, I can't stop thinking about how great your arms looked in that shirt today. I would never say that. I would never say that. See, I. I actually think that's. I would rather, like, touch a guy's arm than text him that. Okay, let's see more examples that they have. They have an. Here's another one. I'm just about to watch a scary movie. Wish you were here to stop me from being too scared. See, that feels cliche. And I never want to feel. I never want to. I avoid cliches and Flirting. You know, if you want to get a little racier, you could say something like, sorry, I was in the shower, and his mind will do the rest. See, actually saying sorry, I was in the shower is, like, the least flirty to me. Like, that's actually kind of chill. It's like, wait, sorry, I didn't respond. I mean, I guess it's kind of like, why are you telling me you're in the shower? Obviously, because it's like, think about me. But, yeah, okay. Next. Don't send more than two texts in a row without a reply. No worries. That's no problem. I would never do that. If I don't get a response, I am done. We are never speaking again. Easy. Next. Picture text. Picture texting can be a fun alternative way to communicate and also ensures that your crush has a picture of you on his phone. He can go on my Instagram, you know, like, that's what Instagram's for. I don't need, like, what, I'm gonna send a selfie. No, a picture of something maybe, but a picture of me? That is weird. See, that's something, like, my mom would do. If my mom was, like, flirting with a guy, she would, like, send a sexy selfie. And I love my mom, but it's not really, like, a modern move, you know? Next. Make a date. Texting can be a great way to ask a guy out, particularly if you're nervous about doing it face to face. This is true. And, like. But see, I'm always. I always want them to make plans with me. I don't want to make the plan. My crutch is to be, like, try to incorporate my. My crush into, like, my friend group at the time so that we can all make a group chat and then invite the guy to stuff without me having to do the inviting. Super, super afraid of rejection. As you can tell, it would be nice for me to learn how to, like, initiate, not even learn. It's, like, so easy. Um, but it would be good for me to build that confidence. Okay. And that's the end of the article. Great. You know what you guys did? I learn a lot. Yeah. But in ways I didn't expect to. You know, I think just talking about all of this, do I feel more prepared? No. But I think what I realize now is that I need to go inward. Yeah. I have some work to do on the inside. I need to start seeing myself as a sexy goddess, for one. I need to figure that out. So we'll keep you posted on that. Need to come into my Sexual energy, you know, feel better about that, feel more confident in that without being in a relationship. Right. I mean, even in a relationship, I struggle with it too, but I need to, like, get comfortable with that side of myself. Okay, we'll figure that out together. Not literally, but, you know, can't help but talk about this stuff on my podcast. I also think I just need to let go of the fear of being rejected. Like, I know myself. I'm never gonna flirt to the point of, like, really being rejected. And also, who cares if I get rejected? It's like, if. If the guy's not into me, if I, like, do a little something and, you know, the guy's not picking up what I'm putting down, I know myself. I'll pick up on it, and I'll be like, all right, done. And, yeah, it's not gonna feel good. But also, that's the price you pay. Like, I want to date. You know, I want to. I want to be flirty. I want to have fun. I want to leave no stones left unturned. I want to talk to every guy that I want to talk to, and I don't want to have to rely on them talking to me first. So if that's. This is the price I must pay. I'll keep you all updated on my journey, my flirting journey. I can't wait to come back on here and be like you guys. I flirted. I flirted with someone, and I initiated it. That's gonna be a wonderful day, and I'm gonna feel amazing. It'll be euphoric, I think. I think the thing is, I know I have the potential. We all do. I just. I need to get over myself. Really. That's what it is. Anyway, I hope you all learned something too. Maybe you learned something. Maybe. Maybe this inspired you to get a little flirtier in your life. If you're not already good at it, if you are good at it, please message me. Tips. If you have, like, some niche tip that we didn't go through today, let me know. I want to be, you know what? 2026. I'm gonna learn to flirt, and I'm gonna get good at it. I want to, like. I want to be good at it. It's such a. It's such a cool thing to be good at. How cool? You know, how cool, how confident. I want to be that, and I will. Okay, 2026. Emma's flirting. That's the end of it. I love you all. Thank you all for listening and hanging out. It's always a pleasure. New episodes of Anything Goes every Thursday and Sunday. Anything Goes is anywhere you stream podcasts, although if you want to watch video that's on YouTube and Spotify, anything Goes is on social media at Anything Goes. I'm on the Internet Chamberlain and my coffee company is on the Internet and in the world at Chamberlain Coffee. I love you all. I appreciate you all. I'll talk to you very soon and stay flirty. Bye. This episode is brought to you by Hotels.com make your next trip work for you. Hotels.com's new save your Way feature lets you choose between Instant Savings now or Banking Rewards for later. It's a flexible rewards program that puts you in control, turning every stay into an opportunity. No confusing math, no blackout dates. Use your rewards however you choose, only@hotels.com Save your way is available to loyalty members in the US and UK on hotels with member prices. Other terms apply. C site for details.