anything goes with emma chamberlain
Episode: who’s in the wrong? advice session
Date: December 21, 2025

Episode Overview

In this special “Advice Session” of Anything Goes, Emma Chamberlain dives into one of the most universally tangled aspects of friendship: how to navigate conflict and accountability when you’re not sure who’s to blame. She fields listener-submitted dilemmas centered on the question, “Am I in the wrong?” and offers her candid, unfiltered thoughts—emphasizing self-reflection, empathy, and the importance of honoring feelings while also encouraging growth and mature communication. Through each scenario, Emma weighs nuanced gray areas, acknowledging the messiness of real relationships with a mix of warmth, humor, and relatability.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Importance of Self-Reflection Over Finger-Pointing

(00:00–05:07)

• Emma opens by addressing how finger-pointing in conflict rarely leads to growth, emphasizing the value of “pointing the finger inward” and taking responsibility for one’s own role in tense situations.
• She expresses surprise at how common it is for people to feel uncertain about their part in friendship fallouts:

  “I was shocked at how many of you were struggling with a similar dilemma in friendship...am I in the wrong? That question...I ask myself that all the time, too.” (01:43)

• Emma frames the episode as a safe space for exploring these doubts, urging listeners to use discomfort as an opportunity for reflection and progress.

2. When Friends Stay Friends with Someone Who Wronged You

(05:10–13:32)

• Listener asks if it’s wrong that their friends continue to hang out with a girl who hurt them.
• Emma assures it's valid to feel hurt and that you shouldn't dismiss your emotions:

  “You should feel however you feel about that situation and honor that.” (06:24)

• The nuance comes in evaluating the friends’ choices—did the “wrongdoer” sincerely apologize and show growth? If so, it’s complicated; if not, your friends might not be showing up for you as true friends should.
• She suggests considering new friendships if the dynamic continues to feel toxic:

  “If your friends being friends with this girl is upsetting to you...that’s a crack in your foundation.” (10:59)

3. Feeling Outshined by an Outgoing Best Friend

(13:33–18:40)

• A listener wonders if it’s “bad” to feel overwhelmed by a best friend’s bold personality.
• Emma quickly normalizes this feeling, describing it as a chance for personal growth or inspiration:

  “Ideally, we have people in our lives who inspire us to become a better version of ourselves...Allow yourself to be inspired by it, you know, take from that a little bit.” (15:49)

• If emulating that energy isn’t authentic, she urges finding social confidence solo, perhaps by going out without the friend to discover and appreciate one’s unique “sparkle”:

  “Maybe her glitter is...chunky glitter silver. But yours is like a gorgeous holographic, like, baby blue glitter...There’s so much beauty in it.” (17:17)

• Emma cautions only against letting insecurity turn into ugly resentment:

  “You become wrong for it if you start developing resentment towards your friend for something that is out of her control...That’s not fair.” (18:13)

4. Best Friend Consistently Ditches for Guys

(18:41–23:54)

• A listener is frustrated that her best friend always ditches her when guys are around and wonders if her annoyance is justified.
• Emma is direct:

  “No, it is not wrong for this to annoy you. That is incredibly annoying. Incredibly annoying.” (18:47)

• Since apologies have been made repeatedly with no real change, Emma suggests more drastic action:

  “You need to take more extreme measures...I would just stop going out with her.” (20:47)

• She relates personally to being “boy crazy” but draws the line at selfishness, arguing that “sometimes people need a more extreme wake-up call.”
• Memorable self-deprecating aside:

  “I love being around boys. It’s so fun, even though I’m so scared of them...Like that’s my vibe more.” (22:24)

5. Secretly Dating a Best Friend’s Brother

(23:55–28:15)

• Listener asks if she’s “in the wrong” for secretly dating her best friend’s brother, since the friend is upset and now won’t speak to her.
• Emma unpacks both sides:

  “Your best friend is allowed to have boundaries...But at the same time, you and her brother having a spark—it’s kind of a shame not to try it.” (24:25)

• She admits it’s one of the trickiest advice questions she’s gotten, torn between “girl code” and the rarity of real connection:

  “I think this is the most stumped I’ve ever been on advice session.” (26:38)

• Ultimately, she (reluctantly) leans toward choosing the friend if forced to decide, but with nuance:

  “My final answer: If your friend can’t accept the love...protect the friendship. There’s other fish in the sea to date.” (27:55)

• She acknowledges the damage may linger either way, urging honest group communication.

6. Friends Not Showing Up When Needed

(27:51–34:10)

• Last dilemma: What does it mean if friends say they care, but their actions don’t match—are you wrong to feel hurt, and what can you expect?
• Emma notes friendship “styles” vary, and disappointment is valid.

  “Everyone has a different idea of what friendship means to them.” (27:55)

• She distinguishes between neglect (a dealbreaker) and simply differing expectations, suggesting:

  “You just aren’t aligned...There is nothing wrong with politely exiting the friendship and looking for people who are going to give you the energy that you give.” (29:23)

• It’s fine to maintain looser friendships for casual fun, but seek out deeper connections elsewhere.

Notable Quotes and Memorable Moments

• On the value of vulnerability and growth in conflict:

  “I think pointing the finger inward can be incredibly helpful.” (02:17)

• On mismatched friendship dynamics:

  “Friendships are ultimately a part of our support system...if your friends being friends with this girl is upsetting to you...that’s a crack in your foundation.” (10:51-10:59)

• On feeling overshadowed:

  “Her sparkle doesn’t dull mine. Like, mine’s just a little different, you know?” (16:41)

• Real talk on romantic dilemmas:

  “If you accidentally fell in love with your best friend’s brother, that could be the father of your children.” (26:08)

• Classic Emma commentary:

  “Me using glitter as a metaphor? Yeah, but it’s like...maybe hers is chunky glitter silver. But yours is a gorgeous holographic, baby blue glitter.” (17:11)

Timestamps for Major Segments

• [00:00] – Introduction and framing the advice topic
• [05:10] – Friends staying friends with your “enemy”
• [13:33] – Feeling overshadowed by a bold best friend
• [18:41] – Friend who always ditches for guys
• [23:55] – Secretly dating best friend’s brother
• [27:51] – Friends don’t show up when needed/Expectations in friendship

Tone & Style

Genuine, relatable, sometimes self-deprecating, and always conversational, Emma’s advice is tinged with empathy and realism—she’s honest about her own imperfections and uncertainty, creating a safe, nonjudgmental environment for exploring complex friendship territory.

Final Note

Emma wraps up by encouraging listeners to take her “unprofessional advice” with a grain of salt, highlighting the subjectivity of friendship conflict and the importance of finding connections that make you feel supported, seen, and valued.