34 - Left of the Dial: Trucker's Atlas

Summary

Archive 81 - Episode 34: Left of the Dial: Trucker's Atlas

Release Date: May 15, 2019
Podcast by: Dead Signals

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Overview

This episode of Archive 81 follows Nicholas and Arthur (Static Man) on a surreal, haunted road trip through a twisting, semi-musical landscape called the Blacktop. As they pursue a ritual to secure Arthur a physical body, the duo encounters unnerving anomalies, cryptic entities, and the existential dangers of forcing one's will on a reality that pushes back—hard. Themes of identity, alienation, and the costs of survival in unfamiliar or hostile systems run throughout, sharpened by wry banter, body horror, and moments of real emotional honesty.

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Key Discussion Points & Major Events

1. Strange Roads, Stranger Conversations ([00:13]–[04:27])

• Nicholas and Arthur bicker and bond over the highway’s weird, musical properties and the world’s general off-kilter vibes. Their rapport combines horror with dry humor and cultural references, throwing shade at everything from Pokémon to millennial job markets.
• Notable Quote:
  Arthur ([01:44]): “I could name all of the original 150 in only like, six presidents. It’s actually an issue. It’s definitely crowding out important memories.”

2. The Heart of the Ritual ([05:31]–[10:43])

• The protagonists investigate the Yamagana Chasm Art Installation, encountering unsettling reminders of transformation and carnage.
  • Sorcerer warns:
    Sorcerer ([09:34]): “Sometimes you gotta change. Even when you don’t want to. Even when it hurts... Bodies transform into things so you don’t recognize it. It’s carnage.”
• The scene underscores the bodily, psychological, and metaphysical costs of change.

3. The Radio Preacher & the Dangers of Connection ([13:06]–[20:37])

• The group listens to an unnerving broadcast featuring the “Static Man,” who unfolds a metaphor of a body, infection, and the spread of corruption—a pointed allegory for communal vulnerability.
  • Static Man ([13:06]): “This unspeakable thing is like blood in water. Like blood in milk... If one of us is infected, we are all infected.”
  • The message is religious, cultish, and increasingly grotesque—culminating in the Static Man offering himself as a literal sacrifice to the congregation.
• Evokes broader horror: from bodily corruption to the spread of ideas and societal malaise.

4. Gas Stations and Millennial Malaise ([21:04]–[28:06])

• At Moody’s gas station, the mundane becomes magical and menacing. Nicholas pays for gas with blood, and he and Arthur struggle to buy familiar snacks (Doritos, Starbursts) in a world that offers only “Meat Yums” and existentially despairing brand copy.
  • Nicholas ([23:35]): “Alright, I trust you.”
  • Moody’s Clerk ([25:36]): “Think of this place like a body. If you come in here swaggering like a guy, like a conquistador or something, it will read you like an infection, and it will try its best to purge you out.”
• Societal critique blends with body horror: survival means humility, not domination.
• Conflict erupts when Arthur kills a strange creature outside, sparking doubts in their partnership.

5. Surreal Social Critique and Jazz Interlude ([29:06]–[32:02])

• The “Millennial Narrator” presents a razor-edged monologue about social media exhaustion, job precarity, late-stage capitalism, and inevitable climate catastrophe.
  • Millennial Narrator ([29:22]): “The gig economy just means corporations fucking workers even harder... It’s tough to envision a world where good things happen.”
• Then: a deadpan “meat Yums” commercial and a smooth jazz break lighten (but do not leaven) the mood.

6. A Storm and a Sibling Reunion ([32:18]–[42:44])

• A magical, reality-bending “world storm” forces Nicholas into a liminal, paused reality, granting him a conversation with his sister Christine—a touching and sorrowful reunion.
  • Christine explains the storm is a liminal pocket allowing contact, and warns Nicholas that exerting force on the world causes backlash.
  • Christine ([40:07]): “This world, it reacts when you try and assert your will over it... If you’re powerful enough, you can probably just drive on through it, but... it’s real.”
  • They exchange awkward, loving jabs about their family and promise to try to see each other again.
  • Nicholas ([42:09]): “Just for the record, I am officially calling dibs on being the pretty one.”

7. Fallout & Apologies ([43:00]–[45:06])

• The storm ends. Nicholas, Arthur, and Dr. Persimmons regroup. Tensions surface about Nicholas’s decision-making and how he values Arthur—as a partner, not a “vassal.”
  • Nicholas apologizes for treating Arthur as just muscle:
    Nicholas ([44:50]): “I should have assumed the best of you. You’ve already proven yourself time and time again.”

8. Dr. Persimmons’ Museum of Oddities ([46:12]–[57:30])

• The group enters Dr. Persimmons’ lair, encountering cursed, liminal, or simply absurd objects—a deer forever dying, an unlucky penny, a week-delayed murder sword, a radiator sound system.
• Dr. Persimmons, flamboyant and menacing, veers into real threat, offering aid only in exchange for high costs (souls, pain).
  • Dr. Persimmons ([56:01]): “If you simply let me murder your romantic soulmate... you could take this object right now.”
  • When rebuffed, Dr. Persimmons directly threatens them:
    Dr. Persimmons ([56:50]): “I have objects in my collection that can tear you from the inside out, slowly eating your organs, replacing them with painful memories of what is.”

9. Escape & Pursuit ([57:26]–[59:07])

• Realizing the danger, the crew flees—barely escaping both Dr. Persimmons and a monstrous truck. Arthur hastily grabs a “resonator,” hoping it might fix their car and provide protection.

10. Cliffhanger & Final Thoughts ([59:07]–[end])

• Pursued by the truck and unsure if their new magical device works, Nicholas and Arthur barrel onward, their fates uncertain.
• The episode ends abruptly as their flight continues, merging tension, horror, and unresolved stakes.

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Notable Quotes & Moments by Timestamp

• Arthur about Pokémon and memory loss ([01:44]):
  “What does my grandfather’s cologne smell like? Who knows? But I know that Growlithe evolves into Dark Nine.”
• Sorcerer on transformation ([09:34]):
  “Sometimes you gotta change. Even when you don’t want to. Even when it hurts.”
• Static Man’s sermon ([13:06]):
  “This unspeakable thing is like blood in water... And I will take off my robe and my mask and I will show you what I have become.”
• Moody’s Clerk on survival ([25:36]):
  “If you come here swaggering like a conquistador or something, it will read you like an infection, and it will try its best to purge you out.”
• Millennial Narrator ([29:22]):
  “Your benefits are going to be shit... It’s tough to envision a world where good things happen.”
• Christine’s warning ([40:07]):
  “This world, it reacts when you try and assert your will over it. Not that the world is its own thing or anything, but stuff reacts, you know?”
• Dr. Persimmons issuing a threat ([56:50]):
  “I will tell you now... I am not one to be trifled with. I have objects in my collection that can tear you from the inside out...”
• Nicholas to Arthur ([44:50]):
  “I should have assumed the best of you. You’ve already proven yourself time and time again.”

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Episode Structure & Timestamps

• [00:13]–[04:27]: Road trip banter and sense of unreality
• [05:31]–[10:43]: Ritual site; warnings about transformation and carnage
• [13:06]–[20:37]: Radio preacher segment; body horror, warnings about communal connection
• [21:04]–[28:06]: Gas station scene; blood for gas, “Meat Yums,” advice on survival
• [29:06]–[32:02]: Millennial existential rant and product parody
• [32:18]–[42:44]: Storm, limbo, reunion and advice from Christine
• [43:00]–[45:06]: Fallout and apology between Nicholas and Arthur
• [46:12]–[57:30]: Dr. Persimmons’ surreal museum and negotiation over magical objects
• [57:26]–[59:07]: Escape, pursuit by the truck, Arthur grabs the resonator
• [59:07]–end: Cliffhanger as they drive on, episode closes

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Overall Tone & Takeaways

• The episode maintains a blend of dry, referential humor and densely atmospheric horror, alternating between deadpan jokes and existential dread.
• Themes of control, survival in uncertain systems, the consequences of agency, and deep sibling/friend loyalties recur.
• The characters, while facing supernatural threats, also grapple with relatable modern anxieties: belonging, usefulness, and what it means to exist in a world not made for you.

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This episode is a surreal, sharp, and emotionally resonant entry in Archive 81’s voyage through horror, identity, and the strangeness of both the supernatural and the everyday.

Transcript

[Sponsorbot]

You are listening to episode two of Archive 81. Left of the dial. Start tuning your banjo.

[Arthur]

You notice that?

[Nicholas]

Are you referring to the clouds off in the distance? The ones that appear to be fighting each other?

[Arthur]

I mean, yeah, that's weird, but I was talking about the road. Like it's sort of, you know, musical. Or giving off a musical tone at least. Kind of like a drunk, coked out sorority girl at a party. She's not really singing any mgmt's Kids? Exactly. Just kind of gesturing in the general direction of music, you know, I didn't.

[Nicholas]

Go to many sorority parties, I'm afraid.

[Arthur]

Oh, dude, really? You mean you weren't regaling everyone with tales of 17th century French folktales while they did shots?

[Nicholas]

18Th and early 19th century French folktales, actually. And my research wasn't solely focused on.

[Static Man]

Oh, my God.

[Arthur]

Anyway, point is, did you notice the shit about the road?

[Nicholas]

Yes. The asphalt, or whatever it is this highway's made of seems to be responding to our tires as we drive over it.

[Arthur]

Any idea why?

[Nicholas]

I. Perhaps it's simply the resonant tone of the road. Your guess is as good as mine.

[Arthur]

Yeah, just unexplained weird shit. Like the fucking motel beyond. The whole Nurse Joy thing that the front desk won't.

[Nicholas]

Sorry. Nurse Joy?

[Arthur]

Yeah, dude, you know Nurse Joy from fucking Pokemon.

[Nicholas]

I don't.

[Arthur]

Dude, I'm not gonna explain God damn Pokemon to you. You know what Pokemon is?

[Nicholas]

I'm aware of the concept. I just didn't play the games or.

[Arthur]

Watch the animated show or the movies or play the collectible card games or buy the toys or merch or.

[Nicholas]

I guess I wasn't interested.

[Arthur]

Dude, we're the same age. How did you not get into Pokemon? I could name all of the original 150 in only like, six presidents. It's actually an issue. It's definitely crowding out important memories. What does my grandfather's cologne smell like?

[Nicholas]

Who knows?

[Arthur]

But I know that Growlithe evolves into Dark Nine. What type of childhood did you have if you didn't get into Pokemon?

[Nicholas]

I moved around a lot with my mom. I was a bit bookish.

[Arthur]

Not surprised.

[Nicholas]

And I didn't exactly have friends. Forcing me to be interested in whatever is essentially cartoon dog fighting.

[Arthur]

That's not what Pokemon's about at all. It's about the bond between trainer and whatever. This isn't. Why did we start talking about Pokemon?

[Nicholas]

You mentioned Nurse Joy.

[Arthur]

Okay, yeah, Nurse Joy. Like in every Pokemon center, there's a Nurse Joy. They're like sisters or cousins or Something so kind of like whoever the waitress.

[Nicholas]

Was, but that's not an appropriate comparison. The clerk.

[Arthur]

Are we gonna call her that?

[Nicholas]

I can't think of a better name. The clerk works as a waitress and as a front desk person. And I assume she works more jobs as well. It isn't as if her sisters work as menial employees. She works all those jobs simultaneously. Part of the unique makeup of this world.

[Arthur]

Well, whatever. It's weird as hell.

[Nicholas]

I'm not arguing with you there, but.

[Millennial Narrator]

Yeah.

[Arthur]

Just unexplained weird shit. More than the clerk. There was the fact that the waterbeds were actual water you could sort of float on.

[Nicholas]

I thought they were pleasant.

[Arthur]

They were great. And the purple toad alarm clock and the. I'm just not used to this shit.

[Nicholas]

I. You've been engaged in. How would you phrase it? Weird shit for a while though. Since before you left college, if I remember correctly.

[Arthur]

Yeah, but I'm not sure how to explain it. Everything was always sort of rounded. Like one weird thing in 99 non weird things here. Everything's off.

[Nicholas]

And you still felt grounded, even with your particular nature?

[Arthur]

Yeah, most of the time. I could almost forget it. And it's easier since I've been with you. Since you leave a recorder on. Like I can exist continually, which is. That's nice.

[Nicholas]

Like.

[Arthur]

I hadn't really slept until I started working for you. Now I do.

[Nicholas]

Anyway, if you'd like to talk about.

[Arthur]

Nah, dude, I'm good. Just excited to get an actual body again. What's the forecast looking like?

[Static Man]

It's bad. You know it's going to be bad, you dipshit. Neoliberal.

[Arthur]

Dude, do you think there are actual people? Or maybe not like people, but creatures that are voicing the radio stuff? Or is it just.

[Nicholas]

I assume it's simply an outgrowth of this particular landscape or part of the ritual, though I can't give you any concrete answers.

[Arthur]

Sorry, dude. I feel like a five year old asking questions. Next thing you know, I'm gonna be all, are we there yet?

[Nicholas]

Let's stop at McDonald's or Popeye's. Well, duh.

[Arthur]

Though Popeyes doesn't have nearly the interstate presences.

[Sponsorbot]

Are you.

[Nicholas]

Is he. Do you. I. I'm not sure what it is.

[Millennial Narrator]

Bones.

[Arthur]

They're just. There's too many.

[Nicholas]

I don't think they're bones, though. I'm not sure what else they could be.

[Arthur]

You think we should stop? I. Yo, dude, you see the sign?

[Nicholas]

Yes.

[Dr. Persimmons]

Come on.

[Arthur]

Pull.

[Nicholas]

Yamagana Chasm Art installation In the center is a Heart. Find the heart.

[Arthur]

You know me. Can't get enough of loose body parts.

[Dr. Persimmons]

Hello?

[Nicholas]

Static. Man.

[Arthur]

Dude, it's not like.

[Nicholas]

Just be careful.

[Arthur]

You think this is part of the ritual? It seems.

[Nicholas]

Ritual? Y. I assumed that our journey would take longer. Honestly. But we could have sufficiently purified ourselves. The center could contain what we're looking for.

[Arthur]

I mean, I want a whole body, not just a fucking heart. Like I know it could be a metaphor. I'm just putting that out there.

[Nicholas]

Come on. Let's keep walking.

[Static Man]

Yo.

[Arthur]

What are we walking on?

[Nicholas]

It's most likely not human. Hopefully.

[Arthur]

You hear that?

[Nicholas]

The wind. Just the wind.

[Arthur]

Like a graveyard to me. Like a robot graveyard. If that makes sense.

[Nicholas]

I don't believe we're walking on bone. Feels more like exoskeleton. I'm reminded of insects and vehicles cross.

[Arthur]

Between cars and a bug's life. I get it.

[Nicholas]

Couldn't bring myself to watch cars.

[Sorcerer]

Yeah.

[Arthur]

It isn't worth it. The whole car series is trash. Yo.

[Static Man]

What's your favorite?

[Arthur]

What the hell?

[Nicholas]

Prepare yourself. Where is the sound coming from?

[Arthur]

See that flickering? Get behind me.

[Dr. Persimmons]

You're here.

[Nicholas]

So we are.

[Sorcerer]

You should turn around.

[Nicholas]

And why exactly should we do that?

[Sorcerer]

Aren't meant to be here.

[Nicholas]

That's almost the exact same point you made when you first contacted us. I fail to see what's changed.

[Dr. Persimmons]

Please.

[Arthur]

Is this place important to you?

[Sorcerer]

Is this the way the wind blows through this place? Makes it sound and you might as well hear it.

[Nicholas]

Be on your guard.

[Sorcerer]

This ain't gonna hurt.

[Static Man]

You.

[Sorcerer]

Sorcerer.

[Dr. Persimmons]

It.

[Arthur]

What happened here.

[Sorcerer]

Sometimes you gotta change. Even when you don't want to. Even when it hurts. You're forced to do it. Outside pressure. Things shift. Bones break and bend. You can still hear the echoes of the crack. This whole place is echoed. Bodies transform into things so you don't recognize it. It's carnage.

[Dr. Persimmons]

Gore.

[Sorcerer]

Most don't survive. Some are chained. You killed one of them already. And a few. A few drive the same highways. We always have a legacy of an infection written in body. This whole laptop isn't for you. But this place. This place is someplace you should not touch.

[Dr. Persimmons]

Leave.

[Arthur]

Nicholas.

[Nicholas]

What?

[Arthur]

We should go.

[Nicholas]

Are you joking? This creature opposed us from the start. We shouldn't simply follow.

[Arthur]

This isn't part of the ritual.

[Nicholas]

I was under the impression that I knew more about this particular ritual than you did.

[Arthur]

Call it intuition.

[Nicholas]

Just.

[Static Man]

Dude.

[Arthur]

We should leave.

[Nicholas]

You realize that we are doing this for you, correct? Dude. Don't.

[Arthur]

Don't pull that shit out of me. I've been doing your grunt work. For two goddamn years I have.

[Nicholas]

Are you going to refuse to travel further into this area? Well, then, since we need your consciousness to complete the ritual, it appears that this is no longer a discussion, is it?

[Arthur]

I guess not.

[Nicholas]

Anything to add, whoever the hell you are?

[Christine]

Not really.

[Nicholas]

All right. Wonderful.

[Sorcerer]

Thank you, static Man. For what it's worth, you should still go back to where you came from. But thank you for this.

[Arthur]

You're welcome.

[Nicholas]

Glad to see you've made a friend, Arthur. Come on back to the car.

[Arthur]

So, what do you think that place was?

[Nicholas]

Figure it out yourself.

[Arthur]

How long do you think we've been driving?

[Nicholas]

I couldn't hazard a guess.

[Static Man]

Do you?

[Nicholas]

Ah, There's a station. We should listen. Purify ourselves and whatnot.

[Static Man]

Now this. This unspeakable thing is like blood in water. Like blood in milk. The single point spreads outwards. It touches and stains with its color, with its corruption. An organ rotting from the inside. Killing the body. Killing it. And we are expected to do nothing. To stay silent. I say no. I say no. Can I get an amen? Hallelujah.

[Moody's Clerk]

Yes.

[Dr. Persimmons]

Yes.

[Static Man]

I feel what you feel. You feel what I feel. And we're going to feed on each other until the.

[Nicholas]

You are satisfied. Yes.

[Static Man]

We cannot stay silent at this violation. At this dust in the multiple faces of our multiple gods. We are so many together. An organism. An organism. I am sorry. The cloth of this mask, it does make it difficult to breathe. We are linked, all of us. Our hearts are beating as one in a thunderous chorus. And it is a pleasure to be connected to you in this way. Although most of the pleasure is in being connected to my beautiful wife. Give us a smile, honey. Yeah, give us a smile. Show us all of your teeth. Show us all your teeth. But this connection that makes us strong also makes us vulnerable. If one of us is infected, we are all infected. If one of us is stained, all of us are stained. It is the way of things for those of us who fear our gods and tremble and shriek and wail at their gaze. At their gaze. Let me tell you a story. One day, when I was a little bit younger and handsomer, I noticed I had a cut on my arm. Just a little nick. I didn't realize I had done it. Couldn't remember how I'd gotten that little cut. Didn't really matter. Wasn't bothering me at all. After all, it was only a little cut. But you see, there was a tiny, itty bitty scab on that cut. And I picked at it. I picked at it. I took a little Bit of that coagulated flesh and just ripped a little off. You know how it hurts to pick a scab, but it just feels so good too. You know how it is. My beautiful wife knows how it is, doesn't she? Doesn't she? Now, when I picked her that scab, I told Jess to hear more than I wanted. And so I made that cut bigger, just by an itty bit. But when that cut, remember, it's just an itty bit bigger. When that cut started to heal, you know, I picked that scab too. But the same thing happened. The cut, the tear in my flesh got a little bit larger. The cut. The tear in my flesh got a little bit larger. And then the cut started to heal. I know, I know, I know. And of course I picked at it. And then the cut got bigger and it started to heal. And then I picked at it and it got bigger and I. And it got bigger and I picked at it and it got bigger and I picked at it and it got bigger and I picked at it and it got bigger and I picked at it and it got bigger. And my flesh, my flesh. My flesh became a wound and the legacy of a road marked by tires, of a mute caravan. And I will take off my robe and my mask and I will show you what I have become. I give my body as a sacrifice to our gods, as a reminder of the consequences of a small corruption in our flesh, in our being, in our shared organism. I am naked and skinless under the gaze of the gods we fear. My beautiful wife anoints me with oils and poultices so my flesh does not rot when exposed. Look upon me and know of her unshakable faith. Now I must gather my strength again. I'm feeling drained while I do. We are blessed. We are blessed to be able to share in the gifts of our congregations. Why don't you come up here? Why don't you come up here?

[Nicholas]

Yes.

[Static Man]

Come up. Show them our love. Yes. Yes. It's the blood moon Junes. Now, won't you give the congregation what it wants while I gather myself with the help of my beautiful wife.

[Dr. Persimmons]

Sam?

[Static Man]

Now that was lovely.

[Sorcerer]

Just lovely.

[Static Man]

Now, why don't we talk about what really matters? Salvation. Salvation not of the body, but of the mind.

[Dr. Persimmons]

Of that.

[Arthur]

So, your mom ever drag you to church or synagogue or whatever? Not really sure.

[Nicholas]

What? No.

[Arthur]

I mean, you'd know better than me, I guess.

[Nicholas]

Obviously. Why don't you stay out here and pump gas? I'll go in and pay. Paying's necessary.

[Arthur]

Yo, can you get some snacks. We're not out, but we could def use some restocking.

[Nicholas]

Those are supposed to last. Fine. Do you have any particular preferences?

[Arthur]

Oh, def get some Doritos if they have any Cool Ranch. Oh, and Starbursts. Like only get some if there's an actual big package. You know that four Starburst mini ship. I only like orange and yellow, so there needs to be a chance for there to actually be. Wait, do you like red and pink?

[Nicholas]

I'll check. Though I'm not sure how many branded snack foods are in this dream dimension.

[Arthur]

You never know.

[Nicholas]

Alright, come on. Yo.

[Arthur]

There's premium gas and super premium. And one of them looks like it's got a bunch of hieroglyphs. What do you want?

[Nicholas]

It's not. Premium is fine.

[Moody's Clerk]

Hello and welcome to Moody's family friendly gas station and convenience store where we promise to treat you like the family we never had.

[Nicholas]

Ah, hello. My name's Nicholas again, if you have any interest.

[Moody's Clerk]

Probably better if I don't. So are you going to purchase anything or are you just going to stand there?

[Nicholas]

I apologize. I wasn't aware I was disturbing the other customers in this establishment.

[Moody's Clerk]

Cute.

[Nicholas]

Sorry, I'd like to pay for the gas my colleague is pumping out front. And if you have any Doritos or Starbursts, I would like to purchase them as well. I know the diner and motel didn't require payment, but you're gonna have to.

[Moody's Clerk]

Pay for this one. Put your hand on the counter right.

[Nicholas]

Right here.

[Moody's Clerk]

Right there. The machine is going to extract three drops of blood from you. Moody's family friendly gas station and convenience store agrees not to use the blood for any ritual or harmful practice.

[Nicholas]

What are you gonna use it for?

[Moody's Clerk]

It's just a little bit of power. A blood for oil thing.

[Nicholas]

There's a joke to be made there though.

[Moody's Clerk]

You've got jokes. Great.

[Nicholas]

I wasn't.

[Moody's Clerk]

Just put your hand on the counter. It's not a big deal.

[Nicholas]

Alright, I trust you.

[Moody's Clerk]

Don't bring me into this. I'm just a clerk. Put it here. Yeah.

[Nicholas]

So what exactly do you have for sale?

[Moody's Clerk]

Well, we don't have any Starbursts or Doritos because this is a magical fantasy realm of wonder and whimsy.

[Nicholas]

Do you have any equivalent products?

[Moody's Clerk]

What you see is what we have.

[Nicholas]

So 20 DVD copies of the Pacifier starring Vin Diesel.

[Moody's Clerk]

I don't decide what we stock.

[Nicholas]

Who does, if you don't mind me asking?

[Moody's Clerk]

No idea.

[Nicholas]

Are these meat yums edible? For humans, I mean. Or rather for people who don't live in this, as you put it, fantasy, magical realm.

[Moody's Clerk]

Check the packaging.

[Nicholas]

Just says meat Yums. Eat them and let the sugar, fat and calories make you feel better about your hellish existence in a late stage capitalist economy. Special. Working at an unpaid internship because there's no possible way to advance in your creative field edition?

[Moody's Clerk]

I guess it's up to you.

[Nicholas]

How about Vainos?

[Moody's Clerk]

I genuinely have no idea.

[Nicholas]

Huh. I'm assuming there isn't exactly employee onboarding at the Moody's chain of establishments. No. So I take it you aren't from here, if you don't mind me asking. Listen, I'm still not sure exactly what name to call you. That's all right. I understand if giving your name would be dangerous, but if you would be willing to discuss your knowledge of the area, I'm sure we can come to some sort of arrangement. I'm not without power, and I would be more than willing.

[Moody's Clerk]

I keep my head down.

[Nicholas]

Excuse me?

[Moody's Clerk]

You heard me. I'm going to explain this to you in terms you'll understand. And I'm only going to explain this to you once. Think of this place like a body. If you come here swaggering like a guy, like a conquistador or something, it will read you like an infection, and it will try its best to purge you out. And I don't know, you. Maybe you're powerful enough to fight back. I thought I was. I thought that for a while. But if you put your head down, if you operate by this world's rules, you can survive. The place won't try to kill you every second, and I'm not going to let you come in here and disrupt that. You do whatever you want, but I'm gonna lay low.

[Dr. Persimmons]

Get it?

[Nicholas]

How powerful?

[Moody's Clerk]

You should check on your servant.

[Nicholas]

Excuse me?

[Moody's Clerk]

He's killing something in the parking lot.

[Nicholas]

What? Damn it. Arthur.

[Moody's Clerk]

Thank you for visiting Moody's family friendly gas station and convenience store. Please come again.

[Millennial Narrator]

What are you doing?

[Static Man]

Stop it.

[Nicholas]

Arthur. Who was that? Why did you kill whatever that thing was? Answer me, Arthur.

[Arthur]

My name is a goddamn Arthur.

[Nicholas]

That's not the. All right, static man. Why did you reduce that thing to small, bloody chunks?

[Arthur]

You really want me to answer that?

[Nicholas]

Obviously I want you to answer that. Why is that even a debate? If you. You were attacked, I understand, but are.

[Arthur]

You gonna command me to tell you?

[Nicholas]

Excuse me?

[Arthur]

I'm your vassal, right? Like I swore fealty to you. So if you want to command me, I'm magically obligated to fucking answer you.

[Nicholas]

That wasn't the point of the ritual.

[Arthur]

Wasn't it though? Like, I get it, I work for you.

[Nicholas]

But it was a two way street. I'm also obligated to protect you. And need I remind you that if we hadn't done that, we would not have been nearly powerful enough to make this journey an attempt to attain a physical body for you.

[Arthur]

Thank you, my gracious lord sorcerer, for seeing fit to bestow such a nice thing or whatever on me.

[Nicholas]

Do you still want a body?

[Arthur]

Yes.

[Nicholas]

All right. Now, are you going to tell me what the hell happened here, or should I just guess from context clues?

[Arthur]

Some random creature, looked like an eel with legs, tried to steal the car.

[Nicholas]

I dealt with it and that's it.

[Arthur]

That's what happened. Dude, if you don't fucking trust me after I've been saving your life for over two fucking years, then you don't trust me.

[Nicholas]

All right, let's drive.

[Arthur]

So, did you pay for gas?

[Nicholas]

Yes. Three drops of blood.

[Dr. Persimmons]

Cool. Cool.

[Arthur]

And was she.

[Nicholas]

It was the same clerk. Nice.

[Arthur]

So, you get any Doritos?

[Nicholas]

No, I ran out before I could get a thorough look at the options.

[Arthur]

Well, next gas station then?

[Dr. Persimmons]

Sure.

[Millennial Narrator]

Whole performative aspect to social media that makes it impossible to keep grounded. You're comparing your life to other people's curated lives and it just makes you sad and exhausted. Opening Twitter the first thing in the morning because, well, you don't really know why you're opening Twitter.

[Nicholas]

But you do.

[Millennial Narrator]

And you open it even though it makes you feel bad, it makes your life worse. And that's not even mentioning the job market. You're expected to have five unpaid internships to land an entry level job, and good luck living in a city and not getting paid if your parents can't pay for everything. Even if you do get a job, your benefits are going to be shit. You don't have any protections. HR exists to protect the company and it's just a shitshow. You have to decide whether to keep your head down and deal with your soul degrading or look for something else that probably won't be any better. And who's to say they're even going to be jobs in 10 years? The gig economy just means corporations fucking workers even harder. Imagine trying to get good healthcare if you work at Walmart. Like genuinely picture it in your head. It's not doable at all. Things have been so bad for so long for everyone who isn't rich as hell, that it's tough to envision a world where good things happen. And that's not even mentioning the gigantic cataclysmic environmental catastrophe that every non idiot agrees will happen and will cause the complete and utter destruction of our way of life. Or maybe. Or maybe everything will be exactly the same, just more so. Climate refugees look a lot like regular refugees after all. And we don't do well with regular refugees. It's tough is what I'm saying. It's difficult to think about.

[Arthur]

Meat Yum. Meat yum.

[Nicholas]

Meat yum.

[Millennial Narrator]

That's why I eat meat Yums. They taste great. And more importantly, they understand your struggle. The meat yums bran is a friend to millennials everywhere. Let the sugar, fat and calories make you feel better about your hellish existence in a late situation stage capitalist economy.

[Arthur]

And now, the smoothest jazz possible.

[Nicholas]

So smooth it doesn't have any friction at all. Smooth like silk. Like the skin.

[Arthur]

Nicholas. Nicholas. Dude, I think he needs it.

[Nicholas]

Static man. I think it might be best if we simply drove in silence for a while. I would prefer silence, if that's all right. I know. I understand.

[Arthur]

Dude. Yes. Look out your right side window. But if you wanted to drive in.

[Nicholas]

Silence for a while, we could.

[Arthur]

Toads do that.

[Nicholas]

No, no, it's right.

[Arthur]

So, any idea what the hell that thing is.

[Dr. Persimmons]

Like?

[Arthur]

I know it's a storm, but it's freaking green and the angles are all wrong and I really, really am not a fan of how it shifts like a fucking psychedelic album cover because that's some 13th floor elevator shit.

[Nicholas]

Wait, how do you know about the 13th? You know what? It doesn't matter. And I have absolutely no idea what the hell that thing is.

[Arthur]

Awesome. Got some ritual that can stop weather shit like a storm from X Men Ritual?

[Nicholas]

No, No, I do not. Shit.

[Dr. Persimmons]

All right.

[Nicholas]

All right. Options. Okay. There doesn't seem to be any structure anywhere near us. So. So we can stop the car, hunker down. We could drive and hope to outrun it. Or we could turn around and depending on the angle, it's all about whether it varies its path or not. I'm just not sure.

[Arthur]

Yo, my vote for stopping the car and hunkering down. I do not want to be in something going 80 miles per hour when a goddamn magical storm hits.

[Nicholas]

Point taken. Oh, sorry.

[Arthur]

More about what the is happening?

[Nicholas]

No idea.

[Arthur]

Dude, we need to stop the car.

[Nicholas]

I don't. What was that?

[Arthur]

Who cares?

[Nicholas]

Stop the car. No, no, I'm sure that was her that happened.

[Arthur]

You still need to stop the goddamn car.

[Nicholas]

We need. No, you.

[Sponsorbot]

Hello?

[Nicholas]

Hello? Is there anyone not particularly enjoying being in an off white Limbo. Just for the record, if anyone's listening, hopefully someone is.

[Christine]

Nicholas?

[Nicholas]

Christine.

[Christine]

Nick. Goddammit it. Are you okay?

[Nicholas]

Yeah, yeah, I'll be all right.

[Dr. Persimmons]

Just.

[Nicholas]

Nice to see you.

[Christine]

Same here, big brother.

[Nicholas]

I'm. I appear to be at a loss for words.

[Christine]

It's okay. It's okay, Nick. Really, it's. It's okay.

[Nicholas]

I have to ask. What was the substance we used to cover the doors to the house during the ritual? Dude.

[Christine]

Virgin's blood. Oh. You're wondering if I'm not actually her.

[Nicholas]

Sorry.

[Christine]

No. It's probably smart. But I'm Chris. Ta da.

[Nicholas]

Though if you were some sort of projection in my mind, something akin to an occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge, you still knew what I knew. It's a Nick. I apologize. It's just. It's been so long since I've seen you.

[Christine]

Wait, how long has it been?

[Nicholas]

Two years and three months. I'm assuming your experience has been different.

[Christine]

It's been about six weeks for me.

[Nicholas]

Huh.

[Christine]

Shit.

[Nicholas]

All right. All right. I'm not sure exactly how or why this happened or how long we have.

[Dr. Persimmons]

Have.

[Nicholas]

We should probably.

[Christine]

Yeah, you're right. Okay. You're in my dimension thingy, right? Or else we wouldn't have been able to talk. Did you come to look for me or.

[Nicholas]

I'm with Static, Man. We're trying to find a body for him.

[Christine]

Oh, okay. So. Complicated ritual.

[Nicholas]

Exactly. And how did you find me? Were you not sure exactly what's happening?

[Christine]

So this is a world storm. It's like a. Well, it's magical as hell. It picks up weird shit from all over, and it, like, exists in multiple places at once, if that makes sense. I. I don't really get it. Screaks tried to explain it to me, but it went over my head.

[Nicholas]

Screaks?

[Christine]

Long story. Probably not enough time. Okay, so. So we ran into a world storm, and Lou has this artifact that can kind of alter it a bit to communicate over vast distances to people you care about. And you were being super disruptive because, of course, you were. So the artifacts show that you were in, you know, the weird magical dimension. Lou calls it the city. Although that doesn't make much sense since it isn't one big city. Anyway. This is like. It's a little time pocket that lets us talk for a little while.

[Nicholas]

Excuse me. Time is stopped.

[Christine]

Sort of. That's what the music is. It's like sound that's super slowed down.

[Nicholas]

It's lovely, but we don't have much time.

[Christine]

No, I'm sorry.

[Nicholas]

All right, then. Tell me everything. How are you doing? Are you okay? Did you regain your memories? If you want to go back, I will.

[Christine]

I don't. I don't want to go back. I. I haven't regained my memories fully, but bits and pieces are coming back, and I really like it here. The crew is great. Kind of eccentric, but fun, you know, a bunch of misfits lose wonderful, and the whole thing's an adventure. And I feel, you know, needed. The world is surprising, and. I'm doing good, Nick. I am.

[Nicholas]

Well, then I'm happy for you.

[Christine]

Don't worry about me. Okay. How are you doing? Like I said, you've been making a lot of noise.

[Nicholas]

I'm doing all right. It's been a bit difficult without you, but I've been managing. I have increased my knowledge of the. I don't like saying magic.

[Christine]

Feels too. Harry Potter.

[Nicholas]

Exactly. Let's say esoteric arts. It's fascinating. Uncovering old rituals, finding out how the world really works. Slightly intoxicating. I've even started my own rituals.

[Christine]

Shit, really?

[Nicholas]

We'll see how everything works out.

[Christine]

But, I mean, how are you doing? Like, are you happy? Do you have people you can trust? How? Static Man.

[Nicholas]

I'm involved in interesting work, and Static Man. Our friendship has been very productive. He's. He can be a bit of a dumbass, say, reckless, but once we actually acquire a body for him. I'm not sure we'll cross that bridge when we get to it.

[Christine]

Okay, Nick, Please don't take this the wrong way, but I'm worried about you.

[Nicholas]

Excuse me?

[Christine]

So the reason Lou's artifact was able to know you were here is because you've been being pretty disruptive.

[Nicholas]

I'm not sure exactly what you mean.

[Christine]

So this place, it's big. I mean, you're on a completely different continent than I am, different rules. But this world, it reacts when you try and assert your will over it. Not that the world is its own thing or anything, but stuff reacts, you know?

[Nicholas]

I don't know if I follow. You went to live in whatever this place is. Is the world reacting to you?

[Christine]

Well, I'm not trying to assert my will over it, you know, neither is Lou. We're just living in it. And you can get away with it for a while. And who knows? If you're powerful enough, you can probably just drive on through it, but. But it's real.

[Nicholas]

Something to keep in mind. Do you have any specific advice on how to combat it?

[Christine]

You can try to lay low or turning around, but it's not really your Style, I think. Not anymore.

[Nicholas]

No, it isn't. Thank you for telling me.

[Christine]

Of course. Nick. You know I love you.

[Nicholas]

I love you, too. I heard my mom's voice.

[Christine]

Voice?

[Nicholas]

Over the radio. It was faint, but I know her voice.

[Christine]

What did she sound like? What did she say?

[Nicholas]

I mean, she sounded like you, but that's. My mother told me, not over the radio, when I was little, that my dad told her she sounded just like my grandmother, so.

[Christine]

Dude, Dad's creepy as hell.

[Nicholas]

I'm aware. But my mother, she said something about a beautiful boy. It was difficult to make out.

[Christine]

That must have been tough. I'm sorry, Nick.

[Nicholas]

Sorry.

[Christine]

I'd tell you to be careful, but you already know that everything dad touches turns to.

[Nicholas]

Except us, of course.

[Christine]

We're both pretty and smart as hell.

[Nicholas]

Just for the record, I am officially calling dibs on being the pretty one.

[Christine]

It isn't a competition. We're both pretty as hell. One of us just happens to be prettier than the other one.

[Nicholas]

Exactly. Me.

[Christine]

Okay. If we ever get back to your world, I'm gonna reinstall Tinder and show you. Damn it.

[Nicholas]

I'm assuming that means our time's up.

[Christine]

Yeah. Okay. Stay safe. Okay. Promise me you'll be careful.

[Nicholas]

Of course. You do the same.

[Dr. Persimmons]

Yeah? Yeah.

[Nicholas]

Is there a way I can see you again?

[Dr. Persimmons]

Try.

[Christine]

Okay, I promise. I'll try.

[Nicholas]

I'll try. To love is this.

[Arthur]

Stop the damn car.

[Nicholas]

I'm back.

[Arthur]

That was Smooth Jazz coming to you live from the 13th annual when.

[Nicholas]

I'm all right. You.

[Arthur]

Dude, I made it. Static in teeth I don't get hurt. Though I still am not a huge freaking fan of you not stopping the goddamn car.

[Nicholas]

It wouldn't have done anything.

[Arthur]

Really, dude?

[Sponsorbot]

Really?

[Arthur]

Because it seems like you were doing what you always do, which is ignoring me, treating me like an attack dog.

[Nicholas]

We should see if the car's alright.

[Arthur]

Was that there before? I'm like 70% sure that wasn't there before. Maybe 75. Who knows? I'm bad at math.

[Nicholas]

We'll take a look at the engine. It looks normal. At least from what I know of cars.

[Arthur]

Ah, the gearhead speaks. How long has it been since you drove a car?

[Nicholas]

Remind me, do you see anything out of the ordinary?

[Arthur]

I mean. No. Don't know why you think I know shit about cars, but. No, honestly, it's probably a magical issue. Like, I don't think click and Clack from Cartalk are gonna help us fix it.

[Nicholas]

Wait, you're a fan of car talk? Oh, God, no.

[Arthur]

It was unfunny as shit. And they always laughed at their own jokes. My dad just liked it.

[Nicholas]

Anyway, you're most likely right. The problem's probably magical.

[Arthur]

Oh, yeah.

[Nicholas]

Thanks. I apologize for not stopping the car. I was in a bit of a panic and I should have listened to your advice. It's.

[Static Man]

Okay, dude.

[Nicholas]

And for the way I acted at the gas station, I should have assumed the best of you. You've already proven yourself time and time again.

[Arthur]

Thanks. I just. It's fine. It's all good, man.

[Nicholas]

Well, the car still seems to work, even with the issue. We should keep driving.

[Arthur]

Yeah.

[Nicholas]

People look out for a repair shop or anything, really. Will do.

[Arthur]

Oh, wait.

[Nicholas]

Yeah.

[Arthur]

Dude, you see that?

[Nicholas]

Uh, yes.

[Arthur]

See a sign anywhere?

[Nicholas]

No, just a lot of detritus.

[Arthur]

Should we stop the car?

[Nicholas]

Uh, it most likely won't hurt.

[Arthur]

Yeah, maybe we can find an auto mechanic or something.

[Nicholas]

That seems un. Well, we should certainly check.

[Arthur]

Any idea what this place actually is?

[Nicholas]

Some sort of junkyard, I presume. Though it doesn't appear to be labeled Moody's, which.

[Dr. Persimmons]

Hello, ladies, gentlemen, and other far more interesting specimens. Welcome to Dr. Persimmons. Fantastic, fabulous museum of oddities, objects and abnormalities. Please, my tears enter into my domain.

[Arthur]

Are you freaking kidding me?

[Nicholas]

Static man, may I respectfully ask you to not eviscerate anyone, regardless of whether or not they are extremely annoying? Self defense. Exempted, of course.

[Arthur]

No promises.

[Nicholas]

Static Man.

[Dr. Persimmons]

Fine.

[Millennial Narrator]

Fine.

[Arthur]

Just, if this dude starts pulling out some Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium shit, I reserve the right to hurt her just a little.

[Nicholas]

Noted.

[Dr. Persimmons]

Please, my dears, I would ever so much like to meet you and sell you my wares. Yes, yes. Come now. I have such objects to show you. Come further. Keep playing, Monkey. I wasn't done yet. No, the same song. Just continue it. I don't care whether or not. Hello, my dears. Why aren't you two lovely specimens of flesh and the substance you are composed of? Might I introduce myself? I am Dr. Perssimmons, the proprietor of this fine and fabulous, nay, fantabulous establishment. It is lovely to make your acquaintance, my dear.

[Nicholas]

Nicholas.

[Arthur]

Static Man. Yo. So, what's your doctorate in?

[Dr. Persimmons]

Excuse me?

[Arthur]

Like, did you go to an accredited university? Did you go to SUNY Purchase? Did you research Media Studies? If you're a doctor, what's your doctorate in?

[Dr. Persimmons]

Why, my doctorate is in giving my valued customers great deals. Now, monkey, play something fun while I show these two gentle people around my humble establishment.

[Nicholas]

What is that, if you don't mind me asking?

[Dr. Persimmons]

Oh, this. This Is Monkey. She actually used to be my former employer. But naughty little me. I felt it was time for a change. Made a tiny arrangement with a passing mage. Who wanted to keep their head down, as it were. Nicholas, have you ever seen a bulldo transform into something else? All those stories about witches and warlocks turning people into toads. You don't truly consider Consider what the process would actually be like. The bones shifting and scraping down. The flesh boiling off. To be replaced by something alien. The sounds, the utter wrongness of it. I imagine it would be the most painful thing that could happen to anyone. Like being set on fire for eternity. A little hell with in your own body. If there's anything left of my former employer, I'm sure she's quite mad. Oh, poor thing. Kisses.

[Nicholas]

I was talking about the instrument.

[Dr. Persimmons]

No, that's a harpsy grinder. Now come, come, follow me to oddities and contraptions beyond your wildest imaginings. Now, do you see this intriguing little number?

[Arthur]

The deer.

[Dr. Persimmons]

Why yes, the deer. But it's a very special deer. Of course it is. Why else would it be in my collection? Now it's under glass. But as you can see from the arrow within its side. This particular deer is trapped on the boundary between life and death. It's not quite a living animal, but. But it's not quite a corpse. Not exactly a liminal thing, as it were. If you listen closely, you can hear its final breaths. It's always breathing its final breaths. It's in quite a lot of pain, unfortunately. But some things can't be helped. Now I'm sure this could be a wonderful ritual component. Or even a seed for a new ritual. If you are powerful enough to. I can take it by your face and your static where your face should be that you aren't entirely interested. Come, come, let's move along. So many wonderful objects to see.

[Nicholas]

Actually, if you had any car parts that were having a bit of car trouble and.

[Dr. Persimmons]

Oh no, devastated to hear such a thing. What is it? The seas not attractive enough? Is the sound system not powerful enough to excite the men or women you're sexually interested in? Is it the headlights? The.

[Arthur]

It's making a funny sound.

[Dr. Persimmons]

Well, we will see what we can do. But first, may I present a lucky penny. Or more accurate, an unlucky one. It has two portraits of Abraham Lincoln. Two on both sides. And if you give it to someone who you are truly obsessed with. You will be given the opportunity to save them from a life threatening situation. Why that would certainly make them fall in love with You. I must note that you are only given the opportunity to save them. Whether or not you do is up to you.

[Arthur]

Uh, that's creepy as hell. I mean, no.

[Dr. Persimmons]

Then. Well, follow me once again to wonder, mystery and adventure. Now, never in your dreams could you have conjured an object such as this. It is quite simply a most powerful weapon.

[Arthur]

Well, it looks like a hilt without a blade.

[Dr. Persimmons]

Don't let looks deceive you, my staticky friend. Simply thrust this hilt towards someone. As if stabbing them. And then. Exactly one week later. Well, let's just say that there will be quite a bit of internal bleeding. Isn't that exciting?

[Nicholas]

It isn't exactly what we're looking for.

[Dr. Persimmons]

Monkey. Play something better. I swear you're trying to ruin me with your piss poor attitude. That's better. Now, how about this, my dears. Truly a stunning work of art and science.

[Arthur]

It's a radiator.

[Dr. Persimmons]

But not just any radiator. Radiator. Through simply manipulating the knobs on the back, you can make this radiator sound like any radiator in human or other being history. Would you like it to sound like the radiator of a ranch home in Winnipeg, 1944? You can. A hospital for the criminally insane in Buenos Aires. Of course. A mid century elementary school in Washington state. They are all available to you.

[Nicholas]

I don't see an instance where this would be useful.

[Dr. Persimmons]

It's a radiator sound system. I'm not quite sure what you don't understand about it, but. Moving on.

[Arthur]

Yeah. So we haven't exactly seen a lot of people in this.

[Dr. Persimmons]

The blacktop, I do believe it's called. A wonderful little area. Quite unique. Quite changed.

[Arthur]

Yeah. So why are you here?

[Dr. Persimmons]

Static 1 oh no, I don't mind at all. I am here, my dears, because there will always be someone selling things. It is the way of the world. Or at least this little area of the world. Now this. This is probably more up your not inconsiderable alley. This is a frequency tuner. It takes any, let's say unagreeable sound. And it can simply whisk it away through the power of music. Look. Or more accurately, listen.

[Nicholas]

Do you think this could help us with our car troubles?

[Dr. Persimmons]

Why yes, I do believe it could. Almost as if the universe was looking out for you. Now it seems you too would wish to purchase this fine product.

[Arthur]

I mean, yeah, right.

[Nicholas]

Nicholas, we would be interested.

[Dr. Persimmons]

Wonderful. I do so love making a sale. Now we must move on to the slide. Slightly bothersome matter of payment. Would you be willing to Part with the souls of any friends or loved ones.

[Nicholas]

Wait, no, we would not.

[Dr. Persimmons]

You certainly strike a hard bargain. What if neither of you have met your romantic soulmates? Correct?

[Arthur]

No, I don't think so.

[Dr. Persimmons]

Wonderful. If you simply let me murder your romantic soulmate, wherever they are. I'm sorry. This would have to be a painful death. But if they're murdered, my. You could take this object right now.

[Nicholas]

Dr. Persimmons, I think we have slightly different ideas about how much this piece of equipment is worth and how much we're willing to give up to get it.

[Dr. Persimmons]

Ah, it seems we're at an impasse.

[Static Man]

Yo.

[Arthur]

Nicholas has given blood and fluids before. Is that.

[Dr. Persimmons]

My dears, I apologize. Perhaps I have not conveyed myself with appropriate emphasis. It seems you find me slightly ridiculous, do you not?

[Nicholas]

I wouldn't.

[Dr. Persimmons]

No, no, I sympathize. I simply haven't made myself clear. I will tell you now so it is absolutely at the forefront of your minds. My name is Dr. Persimmons, and I am not one to be trifled with. I have objects in my collection that can tear you from the inside out, slowly eating your organs, replacing them with painful memories of what is.

[Arthur]

Nicholas, get out of the way. What? Follow me.

[Static Man]

Now.

[Dr. Persimmons]

Where are you?

[Nicholas]

Oh, God.

[Arthur]

Come on. Come on.

[Dr. Persimmons]

You run over monkey, you blubbering idiot.

[Nicholas]

Oh, God, it's him.

[Arthur]

Yeah, man, it's a big ass truck. Keep running.

[Nicholas]

What is he doing?

[Arthur]

No idea. It looks like she's trying to fight a truck.

[Nicholas]

Certainly a plan.

[Arthur]

Just keep running.

[Christine]

Dude.

[Arthur]

We need to get to the car.

[Nicholas]

If you'll remember, our car isn't exactly in top shape.

[Arthur]

Oh, then it's lucky I grabbed the resonator.

[Static Man]

Right?

[Nicholas]

Oh, thank you.

[Arthur]

Come on.

[Nicholas]

There it is. Get in.

[Arthur]

Dude, come on.

[Nicholas]

Come on.

[Arthur]

Hell yeah.

[Static Man]

Dude.

[Arthur]

It's coming for us.

[Nicholas]

I'm driving as fast as I can. Try and fix this town.

[Arthur]

I don't know how to work this.

[Nicholas]

Try and figure it out. I'm driving.

[Arthur]

Okay.

[Static Man]

Not that.

[Sorcerer]

Not that you caught up with you, sorcerer.

[Arthur]

Yo, maybe you could like, not just not try and kill us because of the whole weird ass organic robot graveyard thing. We're like friends now.

[Nicholas]

Buddies.

[Sorcerer]

I thank you for that. I'm still gonna run over that car and watch the blood seep from the.

[Arthur]

Cracks on the metal that didn't work.

[Nicholas]

Just try.

[Sponsorbot]

Hello. I am Sponsorbot. It is so nice to be speaking to you again.

[Dr. Persimmons]

Ha.

[Sponsorbot]

That was a lie and you fell for it. Your brains are small and soft. Your small, soft brains just heard the second episode of Archive 81 left of the Dial. This story was once again brought to you by listeners like you. If you would like to support the story, the best way to do that is by supporting us on Patreon. As I have told you again and again and again, that's patreon.com archive81 Also, if you would like to cover your flesh, there is Archive 81 merchandise for you to purchase with your hard earned currency. There are sports bras, crop tops, booty shorts, mugs, posters, towels, hoodies, T shirts and more. Post Instagram thirst traps using Archive 81 branded clothing and appear glamorous and chic to the person you are trying to make think about you. Go to archive81.com and click merch. Use the code left of the dial for 15% off. Goodbye Organics. Archive 81 left of the dial will return on Wednesday, May 29th.

[Dr. Persimmons]

Sam.