35 - Left of the Dial: When The Open Road Is Closing In

Summary

Archive 81 – Episode 35: "Left of the Dial: When The Open Road Is Closing In"

Podcast: Archive 81 by Dead Signals
Release Date: June 5, 2019

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Overview

This climactic episode concludes the “Left of the Dial” arc of Archive 81—a surreal horror series steeped in urban myth, occult rituals, and the fractured subconscious. As Nicholas Waters, Static Man, and new companion Morgan traverse their dreamlike world (both literally and metaphysically), they confront the legacies of family, free will versus fate, and the nature of transformation. Pursued by the enigmatic Trucker and entangled in dangerous rites, the trio must confront their pasts and negotiate the terms of escape and identity.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Chaotic Road and the Trucker’s Pursuit

• Scene: Nicholas, Static Man, and Morgan race down an endless road, pursued by the Trucker, an ominous antagonist with supernatural undertones.
  • The Trucker frames their flight as a battle of will and desire:

    "In the blacktub, it's all about will and desire. There is nothing I want more than to run you down." (The Trucker, 01:16)

  • Nicholas recalls his dark lineage and asserts his independence, admitting to killing his own father to stop a bid for immortality:

    “I killed him. I beat him to death with his own obsidian statue.” (Nicholas, 01:57)

2. Repair and Ritual—The Musical Fix

• Static Man temporarily repairs the car with a "harmonic resonator," with musicality underpinning the magic-system.
  • Memorable Line:

    “Yeah, man, what did you think I was doing while you were having your dick measuring contest with Johnny Cash?” (Static Man, 04:13)

• Every fix is temporary, highlighting the instability of both their vehicle and their reality.

3. Contemplations on Identity and Embodiment

• Static Man and Nicholas discuss what body Static Man will inhabit post-ritual:
  • Static Man jokes about wanting to look like Tom Hardy but becomes more vulnerable:

    “It's like interacting with the world with mittens on or something...the volume on the TV feels turned down.” (Static Man, 14:20)

• This conversation veers from humor into an aching desire for physicality and belonging.

4. Encounters with the Supernatural

• The ghostly “Echo of Nicholas’s Mother” intervenes, protecting her “beautiful boy” and threatening Nicholas and Static Man:

  • “My beautiful boy belongs to me. You won't take him.” (Echo of Nicholas’s Mother, 16:54)

• Nicholas acknowledges his mother’s death and recognizes the supernatural as manipulation:

  “I know the voice was most likely some creature trying to mess with you. Yeah, an anglerfish shining a light...” (Nicholas, 21:20)

5. Arrival at Moody’s Repair Shop

• The trio reaches an oasis: Moody’s Family Friendly Automobile Service, run by Morgan. Here, narrative logic warps—a week or two needed to “grow” a new instrument to permanently fix the car.
• Musical metaphors abound. Morgan, a lapsed musician and body-crafting expert, reveals they’re stuck by past magical ambition:

  “I got curious about things people shouldn't get curious about.… I was obsessed with something called a Godsong.” (Morgan, 37:07)

• The “Godsong”—a transcendent melody, maybe divine or destructive—functions as an ultimate, unattainable goal.

6. Meta-Commentary, Lightness, and Liminal Living

• Characters pass time with absurd, light banter (Vin Diesel movies, Pokémon starters, making pancakes) during their waiting period, lending warmth to the existential horror.
  • Pokémon Banter:

    “If you want to optimize your strategy, really optimize, you pick Squirtle as your starter.” (Static Man, 33:27)

• Morgan and Static Man bond over music and failed quests, merging tragic longing with comic relief:

  • “You know what? I am fine with saying that the most perfect song in all of existence is Mambo Number five by Lou Vega.” (Morgan, 40:35)

7. Performing the Ritual—Choices, Refusals, and Family Echoes

• With the car repaired, Morgan offers them an option—use her ritual cassette to summon a "hitchhiker" to reach the ritual center.
• The Trucker escorts Nicholas and the unconscious Static Man further. The mood turns from combative to resigned melancholy:

  • “But mostly I'm tired, Nicholas. So goddamn tired. Chasing you around the blacktop is exhausting.” (The Trucker, 49:12)

• Nicholas, refusing to become his father, agrees to move forward, but on his own terms:

  • “I'm not as powerful as he was. I realized that.” (Nicholas, 50:48)

8. The Confrontation in the Diner: Mothers, Ritual, and Mercy

• Inside the diner, Nicholas meets the echo of his mother, now the guardian of a new body:
  • The Echo rails against Nicholas’s intended use for her “son,” unapologetically protective and vengeful:

    "If you try and take him away from me, I will gouge out your eyes and pour salt on your gaping wounds..." (Echo of Nicholas's Mother, 57:05)

• Static Man refuses to take the offered body, denying the violation:

  “Definitely not like this. No offense. I definitely don't want to be stuffed in your half brother's body. He's not exactly Tom Hardy.” (Static Man, 59:34)

• Nicholas diffuses the confrontation through a ritual dance rather than violence—a moment of bittersweet catharsis as they both symbolically say goodbye to the past.

9. Resolution: Transformation Deferred, Community Honored

• The trio leaves with Morgan as companion, accepting that, sometimes, closure doesn’t mean victory or restoration, but survival and solidarity.
• Nicholas offers Morgan a new life beyond the magical trap:

  "If you're willing, you're more than welcome to come with us." (Nicholas, 64:48)

• Static Man, still without a body, remains optimistic.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• Reckoning with the Past:

  “In the two years since I killed my father, I have become someone not to be fucked with.”
  — Nicholas Waters, 03:09

• On the Nature of the Godsong:

  “You never do, though. You can come close, but it's never perfect. I think the Godsong is perfect. It's the one truly transcendent song.”
  — Morgan, 38:37

• Humorous Detour:

  “If you want a body, I'm not too picky, you know, like, if Popeye’s isn’t available, I’ll go to KFC.”
  — Static Man, 13:44

• Meta-Humor:

  “I am fine with saying that the most perfect song in all of existence is Mambo Number five by Lou Vega.”
  — Morgan, 40:35

• Choosing Kindness Over Ritual Violence:

  “It's like interacting with the world with mittens on or something...the volume on the TV feels turned down.”
  — Static Man, 14:20

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Key Timestamps

• Opening Race & Trucker’s Threats: 00:17–05:00
• Static Man fixes the car: 04:08
• Epic of Gilgamesh Discussion: 08:27–09:34
• Moody’s Repair Shop Arrival: 22:26
• Morgan’s Backstory & Godsong lore: 36:08–39:37
• Ritual and Trucker’s Philosophy: 48:01–52:22
• Diner Confrontation (“Mother” echo): 54:30–61:13
• Resolution & Farewell: 64:48–67:12

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Episode Style & Tone

• The dialogue oscillates between deeply emotional, darkly comic, and unnervingly surreal. Characters deal with cosmic horror through the lens of awkward humor, pop culture references, and moments of vulnerability.
• The haunting atmosphere is lightened by running jokes (fast food, Vin Diesel, Pokémon), even as the threat of existential loss or transformation hangs over every scene.

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Conclusion

This episode delivers a meditative, emotionally resonant finale to the “Left of the Dial” arc. By the end, Nicholas, Static Man, and Morgan have not triumphantly restored order or wholly escaped the world’s dreadful gravity. Instead, they carry each other forward, marked by what they’ve lost, what they have refused to sacrifice, and what they’ve chosen to preserve—friendship, autonomy, and the possibility of new beginnings.

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For those new to Archive 81, this episode exemplifies the show's fusion of experimental horror, emotional depth, and a distinctly contemporary wit—perfect for fans who like their nightmares tinged with laughter and hope.

Transcript

[Mark (Show Writer/Host)]

You are listening to episode three of Archive 81. Left of the dial. Try and outrun your demons.

[Static Man]

Go faster. Dude.

[Nicholas Waters]

The accelerator is pushed all the way down. I can't go any faster. Well, try How? Keep fixing the resonator.

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

Dude.

[Static Man]

I'm not a magical repair static person. I don't know how to do that.

[Nicholas Waters]

Well, I am trying to drive. So just make an attempt.

[The Trucker]

Trouble.

[Nicholas Waters]

We are doing all right.

[The Trucker]

I'm going to catch up with you soon, sorcerer. You must feel that you can try me driving.

[Nicholas Waters]

Music.

[Static Man]

What the hell is this? Craft work, yo. I can't fix the resonator with this dumbass song.

[Nicholas Waters]

Play. I'm not going to turn off the radio. Just do what you can.

[The Trucker]

You know what this is, don't you?

[Nicholas Waters]

Please inform me.

[The Trucker]

It's the land rising up against you. Defying you. You're trying to bend the world to your wings. But this world is fighting back. It doesn't want you here. I don't want you here.

[Nicholas Waters]

I picked up on that. You're gonna have to catch us though. And I'll warn you, this car goes pretty fast.

[The Trucker]

I go faster. It's all straight roads, Swisher. You know I'll catch up with you. And it's more than just your car. It's your will. In the blacktub, it's all about will and desire. There is nothing I want more than to run you down.

[Static Man]

Yo, I thought we were cool.

[The Trucker]

Gave you the chance to leave. Lackey. Douchebag.

[Nicholas Waters]

Keep working on the resonator, trucker. If it's all about will, I have to ask. How was my father able to so radically alter this particular section of. I believe my sister called it the city. Did you simply not want it enough?

[The Trucker]

Your daddy was powerful. But you're not your daddy.

[Static Man]

Dude, he's gaining on us.

[Nicholas Waters]

I'm aware of that. And I never claimed to be my father. Quite to the contrary. I killed him. I beat him to death with his own obsidian statue. I saw my father's brains and blood spill on a wood paneled floor.

[The Trucker]

What'd your daddy do to piss you off so much? Or was it just a power thing?

[Nicholas Waters]

Oh, he tried to hijack my body and kill my sister. Part of a plot to gain a limited form of immortality. He wasn't exactly what you'd call your dad.

[The Trucker]

But here you are, driving in his footsteps.

[Nicholas Waters]

I'm trying to help a friend. It's a long story.

[The Trucker]

You'd think if your daddy wasn't good sword role model, you wouldn't be messing with forces beyond your Understanding. But that didn't sound. You sorcerer.

[Nicholas Waters]

No.

[The Trucker]

Didn't you know it's just a matter of time, don't you? You can see me gaining in your rearview mirror while your lackey tries to fix your car. It's more your solid ending. Just kill him and you tell him to kill. I really shouldn't.

[Nicholas Waters]

You know what I've been doing in the two years since I killed my father?

[The Trucker]

I have a feeling you're going to kill me.

[Nicholas Waters]

I've been discovering secrets. I've been learning about how the world really operates. Been consolidating power. I have built a sanctum where no one who wishes me harm can enter. It's in bed style. You can visit if you come to my world. I have assembled a library full of rituals and power. I have conversed with a dying God and kissed him as he faded into nothingness. I have been busy. In the two years since I killed my father, I have become someone not to be fucked with.

[The Trucker]

It wasn't worth it. Taking after your daddy? Yes, but.

[Nicholas Waters]

Come catch me. I'm sure you could easily defeat me. So many others have.

[The Trucker]

You're not as powerful as you think you are.

[Nicholas Waters]

Would you like to test me? To attempt to break my body? That seems a bit harsh, don't you agree? After all, I'm only trying to clean up after my father.

[The Trucker]

Really?

[Nicholas Waters]

I am not trying to destroy the blacktop. I did not come here to pillage. Or.

[Static Man]

I fixed it.

[Nicholas Waters]

What?

[Static Man]

I fixed the harmonic resonator thing.

[Nicholas Waters]

Really?

[Static Man]

Yeah. Man, what did you think I was doing while you were having your dick measuring contest with Johnny Cash?

[Nicholas Waters]

Thank you.

[Static Man]

God dammit, dude, we're gaining.

[The Trucker]

Aw, hell yeah.

[Nicholas Waters]

What were you saying about catching up to us?

[The Trucker]

You know your car still ain't right. It's only a temporary fix.

[Nicholas Waters]

Well, it seems like we're temporarily going to escape from you then, doesn't it? And we can see what happens when you catch up to us again.

[The Trucker]

I'll be seeing you.

[Nicholas Waters]

I'll count on it. And think about what I said. I'm not my father. I'm just gonna clean up this mess. Thank you again for fixing the resonator.

[Static Man]

Nah, dude, it's all good. We were already picking up speed if you didn't notice. The whole don't fuck with me speech had kind of spooked.

[Nicholas Waters]

Well, that was the intent, yo.

[Static Man]

By the way, did you really kiss a dying God?

[Nicholas Waters]

I. Yes.

[Static Man]

Wait, you and Christos? Dude, you're such a player. Did you.

[Nicholas Waters]

It wasn't romantic. It was part of the ritual.

[Static Man]

Still, dude looked like he was carved out of marble. I mean, he was carved out of marble, but still.

[Nicholas Waters]

I was trying to threaten the trucker. I'm glad it worked.

[Static Man]

That stuff about consolidating power, it's not the only.

[Nicholas Waters]

You're not. Sorry, this is weird to ask, but no.

[Static Man]

Okay.

[Nicholas Waters]

Come on. We should put some distance between us and him.

[Moody Marvin (Radio Host)]

That was the smoothest of smooth jazz coming to you directly from the station.

[The Trucker]

That only plays the smoothest jazz.

[Static Man]

So I don't want to be this guy, but do you have any idea how much longer it'll be?

[Nicholas Waters]

If you want to ask, are we there yet? Just ask. Are we there yet?

[Static Man]

Dude, I just wanted to know if you had, you know, a sense of the eta. Yeah. Are we there yet?

[Nicholas Waters]

I really don't know. I apologize. If I had to hazard a guess, I'd say that we were closer to the end than to the beginning. But that's just a hunch. Can't be certain.

[Static Man]

Your magical Spidey sense?

[Nicholas Waters]

That's one way to put it.

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

Yeah.

[Static Man]

I get it. Like, you spend enough time with the woo woo shit, you get the sense of this stuff. I mean, other people do. I've always kind of just powered through, you know?

[Mark (Show Writer/Host)]

Hmm.

[Nicholas Waters]

Well, the car still sounds a bit off. Is there any way you can retune the resonator?

[Static Man]

I don't think so. Thing got sad once I did, you know.

[Nicholas Waters]

What exactly did you do, by the way?

[Static Man]

I mean, I know what I did. I fixed it. Go, me.

[Nicholas Waters]

And how did you do that?

[Static Man]

I matched the sound of the car and the bad sound to the sound of the resonator. The good sound. Like opposite, you know? I played with it until it worked.

[Nicholas Waters]

Okay.

[Static Man]

Like one of those 3D puzzles, but with sound. Yeah, I don't think Merle Haggard was lying. The fix isn't gonna be permanent. We still need to do car stuff to it. Don't worry too much, dude. We'll just keep driving until we can fix the problem. Shit like this usually sorts itself out.

[Nicholas Waters]

Let's hope.

[Static Man]

Yeah, man. I mean, it's a ritual.

[Nicholas Waters]

Up next, it's the number three request this week. You know Em. You love Em. It's the Beatles. Yes. It's the sound of dermisted beetles devouring the flesh off a corpse. Oh, gross, dude. Are you gonna be sick?

[Static Man]

No, I don't think that's physically possible. It just feels that way.

[Nicholas Waters]

I will tell you the history of Gilgamesh. He who knows all that has happened and has seen all the lands of the world, he who has seen all kinds of wisdom and knows the mysteries and has seen what is hidden. He bringeth news dating farther back than the deluge. He has traveled far distant roads and became weary. And now he has engraved on standing stones the whole of the story. When the gods fashioned Gilgamesh to him, they gave a perfect form.

[Static Man]

Oh, dude, this sounds like the Bible.

[Nicholas Waters]

The Epic of Gilgamesh. So sort of.

[Static Man]

Wait, how is it sort of the Bible?

[Nicholas Waters]

It's an ancient Mesopotamian poem. There are parts in the Old Testament that were almost certainly inspired by it. Most specifically the story of Noah.

[Static Man]

Now I'm just imagining like God with a flowing white beard, like actually writing the Bible on a MacBook. Maybe he's at a coffee shop. He's like telling the budista that he's working on a script, gazing into the distance, trying to see if other people think he's deep listening to God speed, you black Emperor in his earbuds.

[Nicholas Waters]

So God is a mediocre screenwriter?

[Mark (Show Writer/Host)]

Yeah.

[Static Man]

Then he's thrown out of the coffee shop because he gets really mad about people wearing nylon turning women into salt and shit.

[Nicholas Waters]

You know, a fair amount about this.

[Static Man]

Sunday school stuff will seep into your brain even if you aren't paying attention.

[Moody Marvin (Radio Host)]

Welcome back to the Xerxes Report with me, Kyle Xerxes.

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

So.

[Moody Marvin (Radio Host)]

So, so what the clowns and just don't they don't understand is that people don't vote with their heads. They vote with their hearts. So all this mealy mouthed, oh, we need to look at the facts and.

[The Trucker]

Figures and the data.

[Moody Marvin (Radio Host)]

Oh, my precious, precious data. That is not going to play. People want someone that feels like a real person, who's just as dumb and stupid as they are. They want someone whose kids probably don't call them, who gets unnecessarily aggressive at the dinner table, who's canceled on social media because they're too problematic, whose car is filled with fast food wrappers and loyalty cards that still need four more stamps to get a free diet cola. They want them. Anyone who can't see this is dumb as a bag of Texas rocks, but tell me what you think opening up the phones. Caller one, you're on the line. Thanks for having me on, Kyle. First time in a long time. And I think you raised some interesting points. But I think you're missing out on the nature of free will because frankly, according to the latest science, there isn't any. If you look at the work of scientists like Robert Sapolsky, you'll see that we're not actors in our Lives. We don't choose anything. Our lives are governed by our biology, by our genetics, by our hormones, by our prenatal environment, by random chance. We believe we have free will because it's a comforting illusion, but it's not real. It's a lie after the fact. So what you're saying is that, in essence, everything is preordained. Nothing we do matters. We're all just complex meat robots. That's what you're saying? Nay, Correct. So if what you're saying is true, and hand to God, you do make a compelling case, what does that mean for the upcoming election? Absolutely nothing. Once again, our choices are illusions and literally everything is meaningless. Great perspective that was. Up next is.

[Nicholas Waters]

So, have you thought about what you want for your body? I mean.

[Static Man]

I mean, I don't really have a choice, right? We come back with a body, or a random limb gets cut off. Once we're done with the ritual, there's some sort of empty vessel or whatever, and I just, you know, shoop.

[Nicholas Waters]

I'm. I was hoping that he'd be able to shape it somehow so he didn't feel out of place, but you're right. I'm not exactly sure.

[Static Man]

Yeah, that'd be cool. Like, you could look like Tom Hardy or whatever.

[Nicholas Waters]

If you could look like anything in the world, you'd pick Tom Hardy?

[Static Man]

Yeah. I mean, yeah. Wait, do you not think Tom Hardy's hot?

[Nicholas Waters]

Oh, no, he's a great choice. Not my type, but it's up to you.

[Static Man]

Yeah, Tom Hardy looks badass.

[Nicholas Waters]

So you wouldn't want your old body back?

[Static Man]

I mean, I want a body. I'm not too picky, you know, like, if Popeyes isn't available, I'll go to kfc. And if I get the chance, hell, yeah, I make an improvement. I want to be jacked as hell.

[Nicholas Waters]

Yeah, I think I get that.

[Static Man]

Yeah. I'd want a bunch of other shit, like, strong and fast and. Are we talking about the dick or.

[Nicholas Waters]

No. No, we are not. We are 100% not talking about that.

[Static Man]

Such a prude. But, yeah. Like, I've talked to you before how it felt.

[Nicholas Waters]

Right.

[Static Man]

In this body thing.

[Nicholas Waters]

You can always tell me more.

[Static Man]

It's like interacting with the world with mittens on or something, if that makes sense. Like, the volume on the TV feels turned down.

[Nicholas Waters]

I'm sorry.

[Static Man]

Like, there are really good things, too. Like, I'm a whisper on the wind.

[Nicholas Waters]

I can imitate people's voices. To be fair, you don't do that too often.

[Static Man]

I actually forget I can do that.

[Nicholas Waters]

Sometimes.

[Static Man]

Anyway. I'm powerful as hell. Which wasn't like, true before.

[Nicholas Waters]

Do you.

[The Trucker]

No.

[Static Man]

Let's keep driving. The weird sound's getting worse.

[Nicholas Waters]

Yeah. We should find something. You know how much I need your grace. Your salvation. The gods have purified me, but I must be purified by myself. In turn by the organism we are a part of. I must be bathed in honey and wine. Yes. Keep going. Keep the beat going. I feel the need for music. Don't you? Don't you?

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

Don't you?

[The Trucker]

Purification is an arduous task. A long road.

[Nicholas Waters]

You know this as well as I do. And you have to walk barefoot up that dirty, unpaved road. Your skin against the rough earth. I don't ask this of you lightly.

[The Trucker]

But I need you. I need you to take out your obsidian knives. I know you have them.

[Nicholas Waters]

And start cutting. Doesn't matter where. Somewhere on your body.

[The Trucker]

You are not afraid.

[Nicholas Waters]

You are not afraid to let the gods see. Cut your skin and give them to me as an offering to yourselves and to the gods. Let the skin fall to the ground. Let the skin fall from the upperclass.

[Static Man]

Yo. What was that?

[Nicholas Waters]

I don't know.

[Echo of Nicholas's Mother]

My beautiful boy belongs to me. You won't take him.

[Nicholas Waters]

Mom.

[Static Man]

Nicholas.

[Nicholas Waters]

Don't take. Get. It's okay. I'm. I'm fine. Mom, Is that you?

[Echo of Nicholas's Mother]

I am a mother to a beautiful, handsome young man. He is mine and only mine.

[Nicholas Waters]

All right. I'm Nicholas. You sound a lot like my mother. Do you know who I am?

[Echo of Nicholas's Mother]

I know you. I know your stench. This place is not for you. My loved one. My beautiful child is not for me.

[Nicholas Waters]

I don't know what you think I'm trying to do.

[Echo of Nicholas's Mother]

Be quiet. This place is for people who can become a part of it. Who can fit in. Like me and my boy. You will never find us.

[Nicholas Waters]

I'm not.

[Echo of Nicholas's Mother]

You will never find my beautiful boy.

[Moody Marvin (Radio Host)]

We're back for more smooth drives.

[Nicholas Waters]

So hold on to the people you love.

[Echo of Nicholas's Mother]

And.

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

Loose.

[Static Man]

Dude, if you want to turn the radio off for a bit, I don't think.

[Nicholas Waters]

No, I'm fine. I'm fine. We need to see this through. We can't. Damn it.

[Moody Marvin (Radio Host)]

Are you.

[The Trucker]

Are you kidding me?

[Static Man]

Yo, it's alright.

[Nicholas Waters]

We can.

[Static Man]

You know. It'll be okay.

[Nicholas Waters]

Let's see if we can fix it. So. Oh.

[Static Man]

Do you have any idea how to do anything?

[The Trucker]

Nope.

[Nicholas Waters]

Yep. Me neither.

[Static Man]

Nothing's really changed from the last time we fixed it.

[Nicholas Waters]

No. Did you?

[Static Man]

Yo. I knew it wasn't gonna work, but.

[Nicholas Waters]

I still had to pull a Fonzie.

[The Trucker]

He's a hero of mine.

[Static Man]

Any rituals or car repair rituals?

[Nicholas Waters]

Unfortunately not.

[Static Man]

Should have killed the Pep Boys. Eaten their hearts. Could have gained occult automotive powers.

[Nicholas Waters]

We're not gonna get this car to start. But if we just start walking. The ritual is useless without the radio.

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

Maybe one of us should.

[Nicholas Waters]

Wait. What are you.

[Static Man]

Dude, we don't have to leave the car behind.

[Nicholas Waters]

You can.

[Static Man]

Yeah, man, I'm strong as hell. Whisper on the wind and all that stuff.

[Nicholas Waters]

Oh, so you won't get tired?

[The Trucker]

Nope.

[Nicholas Waters]

Well, thank you.

[Static Man]

Yeah. Come on, Nicholas. We'll find something soon.

[Nicholas Waters]

You sure you aren't tired?

[Static Man]

Nah, man. I can do this all day. Like, honestly, you're slowing me down. I mean, no offense, but, like, physically, you're sort of scrawny.

[Nicholas Waters]

You don't have to get into it.

[Static Man]

Oh, no, I didn't mean. You've got, like, an Andrew Garfield thing going on.

[Nicholas Waters]

No, it's fine. I'm bookish. It's okay.

[Static Man]

Well, don't worry. Yo, any idea what type of birds those are?

[Nicholas Waters]

No idea. Their caws are a bit awful, let's say.

[Static Man]

Yeah, I really don't like how they've got the faces of dogs. Creepy.

[Nicholas Waters]

Oh, I thought the faces were jackals.

[Static Man]

Six to one, half a dozen to the other. They still suck ass.

[Nicholas Waters]

I know it's not my mother. My mother's dead. I wasn't there when she died. I should have been, but the funeral was open. A casket. She's dead. I'm sorry. No, no, I'm all right. But I know the voice was most likely some creature trying to mess with you. Yeah, an Anglerfish shining a light to make me distracted. I apologize for letting it distract me.

[Static Man]

Yeah, it's all good.

[Nicholas Waters]

I mean.

[Static Man]

Your dad did try to, like, attain immortality. Maybe your mom is.

[Nicholas Waters]

No, no.

[The Trucker]

Okay, come on.

[Nicholas Waters]

We should keep walking. I think I see something in the distance.

[Static Man]

Oh, hell, yeah.

[Nicholas Waters]

Well, I'm not quite sure what I expected.

[Static Man]

Dude, this is freaking awesome.

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

Hello, and welcome to Moody's Family Friendly Automobile Service and Repair Station, where we promise to treat you like the family we never had. Will you be needing any service or repair today?

[Static Man]

Yeah, dude, our car is broken as hell.

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

Bring it in.

[Nicholas Waters]

So, in addition to being a waitress, convenience store clerk, motel front desk woman, you're also an automotive repair person.

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

Yep.

[Nicholas Waters]

And you're versed in fixing cars. You'll be able to repair ours.

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

I mean, I work here, don't I?

[Nicholas Waters]

As I mentioned, you work a lot. A lot. A lot of places.

[Static Man]

So where you want me to put this?

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

On the hydraulic jack, so. Yeah, right there. So what happened to it?

[Nicholas Waters]

Well, it started to make a strange sound.

[Static Man]

Yeah, like.

[Nicholas Waters]

Yes, like that. We thought we fixed it with this resonator, but that was only temporary.

[Static Man]

Here's the resonator if you need to look at it.

[Nicholas Waters]

Eventually, our car broke down, we walked for a bit, and then we came upon your repair shop. Quite coincidentally, I might add.

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

So many coincidences in this magical fantasy.

[Nicholas Waters]

Realm of wonder and whimsy didn't go unnoticed.

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

Moody's Family Friendly Fill in the blank. Exists to serve the needs of its customers. That's our motto, so don't be surprised.

[Static Man]

Is that really the motto?

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

No, the motto's where we promise to treat you like the family we never have. Great motto. Anyway. So your problem's musical.

[Nicholas Waters]

I wasn't aware that automotive problems could be musical in nature.

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

Please keep questioning the rules for the magical fantasy realm of wonder and whimsy.

[Static Man]

Yeah, dunk out of.

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

Anyway, I'm going to have to realign the equal temperaments. It'll take a week for me to grow the instruments to do it. Maybe two.

[Static Man]

Dude, two weeks? That's not. I'm not gonna.

[Nicholas Waters]

We're being pursued by a being hell bent on our destruction. Spending two weeks here is probably not advisable.

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

Truckers. After you.

[Static Man]

We talking about the dude that sounds like Johnny Cash and Tom Waits and Willie Nelson had a weird threesome, baby. Or is there another trucker?

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

That's the one.

[Static Man]

Then, yeah. He's after us.

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

Don't worry. Trucker can't chase you if you're by a Moody's Family Friendly Fill in the blank. Just the way this place works. I'm still here, aren't I?

[Nicholas Waters]

And we just wait for two weeks?

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

Uh, yeah. There's a little kitchen area here. Pantry stocked. Mostly peaches for some reason, but there's a lot of other stuff, too. There are only two beds, so one of you can sleep in the car.

[Static Man]

I call bed.

[Nicholas Waters]

I'll sleep in the car.

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

Great conflict resolution. So.

[Nicholas Waters]

So. Would you like any help with all of that?

[Static Man]

Yeah. I don't know if you noticed from me pushing the car, but I'm, like, real strong. Herculean.

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

Someone called me. Can either of you compose in diatonic counterpoint or know anything about patching FM polyphony?

[Static Man]

Yo. I had no idea what you just said, but we can try.

[Nicholas Waters]

I don't believe we can.

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

Then stay out of my way and don't touch anything.

[Nicholas Waters]

Understood. So if you need anything, please don't hesitate.

[Static Man]

Oh, cool. What's this cute little thing.

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

What did I just say?

[Static Man]

I'm not touching it. It's just like, really cute. This is a cute little guy. You are. Yes, you are. I'm gonna call you.

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

It's the fundamental frequency shifter instrument. I'm growing. It's going to fix your car.

[Nicholas Waters]

I can almost hear it singing. If you call it singing.

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

It's a baby instrument. That's what it does. Come back in a week or two when it's ready.

[Nicholas Waters]

If the infant instrument will fix our car, then. What are you doing now? If you don't mind me asking, there's.

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

A fair amount of prep work I have to do to be super basic. I have to teach it all of the basic major key modes.

[The Trucker]

Wow.

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

Do you two know anything about music? If you had good pitch, you might be able to assist in a very small, totally inconsequential way.

[Nicholas Waters]

Unless you meet someone with a thorough knowledge of the magnetic fields discography, I'm afraid you're out of luck.

[Static Man]

Yo. I tried to make a remix of a My Morning jacket song in GarageBand when I was in college, but it wasn't any good.

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

That's not really what I'm looking for. Just have fun amongst yourselves, I guess.

[Nicholas Waters]

Come on, let's get out of her way. Okay.

[Static Man]

Okay.

[Nicholas Waters]

You have to be gentle. Just hold the pan steady.

[Static Man]

It's steady.

[Nicholas Waters]

No, it's.

[Static Man]

Five second rule.

[Nicholas Waters]

Well, it was a barely cooked pancake that fell on the floor of a car repair station, but if you're an adult, then you can make your own choices.

[Static Man]

I'll clean this up once we actually make a couple.

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

Wait, what are you two doing?

[Static Man]

Making pancakes. Want any?

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

Uh, sure.

[Static Man]

Damn it.

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

How much trouble is the fuzz guy having?

[Nicholas Waters]

He's improving.

[Static Man]

It's been a while since I cooked anything. Okay, it's not like we're gonna run out of flour and eggs. There's like, way too much flour and eggs.

[Nicholas Waters]

Although I'm curious, how does this place have eggs? They appear to be fresh.

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

Yeah, kitchens have eggs, therefore, this kitchen has eggs.

[Static Man]

Whatever. I never cook. Like, before Nicholas came around, I didn't stick around long enough to go for anything but fast food. And since then, well, ordering delivery is easier. Uber Eats.

[Mark (Show Writer/Host)]

What up?

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

Yeah, it's been a while since I've eaten anything.

[Nicholas Waters]

Oh, shit.

[Static Man]

You not exist when you're not like. Because that's sort of like my thing. Twinsies?

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

No, no, I man the various establishments, but time is strange here. It's. It's as if you're lying on your back in the ocean and you gaze off. And then when you wake up, you're miles away from land, staring up at a sky you don't recognize.

[Nicholas Waters]

I believe it's time to.

[Static Man]

Oh, shit.

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

I'm not eating that one.

[Nicholas Waters]

We'll keep trying. How bored are you?

[Static Man]

More bored than every time you tried to explain the origins of the French Revolution to me.

[Nicholas Waters]

The French Revolution isn't boring. It's the absolute crux of world history. And in a sense, we're still fighting it to this very day. Just.

[Static Man]

Dude, no. We are not doing this. Don't you goddamn talk to me about class inequality in the ancient regime.

[Nicholas Waters]

Ancien regime.

[Moody Marvin (Radio Host)]

Whatever.

[Nicholas Waters]

You're welcome to borrow one of my books. You'd lie.

[Static Man]

They're so boring I couldn't get five pages into a Little life or whatever or never let me go.

[Nicholas Waters]

Then you could have brought your own. As it is, I'm trying to read, so if you wouldn't mind. Okay. Dad.

[Static Man]

God.

[Nicholas Waters]

Sorry. It's fine. Did you want to check the VCR again?

[Static Man]

Dude, there aren't any channels. And the only movie is 20 DVD copies of the Pacifier starring Vin Diesel and. Dude, DVDs don't play on VCRs. And even if they did, would you really be interested in watching the Pacifier? Come on, Nicholas. Walt Disney Pictures presents action hero Vin Diesel the Fast and the Furious in a fast paced comedy from the director of Bringing down the House.

[Nicholas Waters]

Wow. Can't believe they were able to snag the director of Bringing down the House.

[Static Man]

Oh yeah, huge kid. That's the movie where Eugene Levy said, you got me straight trippin, boo. And they thought it was funny enough to put that in a dialogue bubble on the poster. Back to the Pacifier. Lieutenant Shane Wolf. Diesel is a tough as nails Navy SEAL who has controlled military operations in every corner of the globe. Now the ultimate test comes when he's assigned to protect the home front. As in a house loaded with five out of control kids. But even when he trades combat gear for diapers and juice boxes, it's not just a babysitting job, it's an adventure.

[Nicholas Waters]

I wonder if he'll learn that being a parent is the toughest job of all.

[Static Man]

No, he's probably just gonna end the film completely unchanged without learning any life lessons.

[Nicholas Waters]

How do you think it actually ends?

[Static Man]

Oh, like the Vin Diesel character.

[Nicholas Waters]

Lieutenant Shane Wolf.

[Static Man]

Yeah, Lieutenant Shane Wolf. He's probably like promoted or something because he stopped the drug runners. And he tells the general or admiral that no, he's gonna stay with the kids. Maybe he marries their mom. He probably marries their mom.

[Nicholas Waters]

Is she widowed or.

[Static Man]

Definitely widowed.

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

Maybe it actually ends with Vin Diesel quitting his job, you know, as a Navy SEAL to be a high school wrestling coach. And he makes out with the principal of the school.

[Static Man]

Wait, is there a VHS copy of it somewhere?

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

No, I saw it before I came here. I went to the movies with my niece once. It was awful.

[Static Man]

Well, thanks for spoiling it, dude. Do you have any other movies or.

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

No. And I'm doing some pretty delicate mixolydian scale lessons, so if you could.

[Nicholas Waters]

Ah, we'll be quiet.

[Static Man]

Yo, if you need any help, or just another set of ears if you.

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

Want to take a listen. Come on. But it'll be boring.

[Static Man]

Oh no, I'm cool. You'll barely notice me. My lips are sealed. If I had lips. So the thing is, if you pick Charmander, you just straight up run against a wall. The first gym. Because fire type is weak to rock type. Yeah, the final evolution looks powerful because it's a dragon. But if you want to optimize your strategy, really optimize, you pick Squirtle as your starter. It's the best choice.

[Nicholas Waters]

I wasn't arguing with you.

[Static Man]

No, you see, everyone thinks Charmander's the shit, but he's not. If you want a well rounded party.

[Nicholas Waters]

With tight balance, please, this isn't something.

[Static Man]

Yo, yo, get in here. What starter did you pick?

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

I'm not kidding.

[Static Man]

Come on, Nicholas. Here let a deprived childhood. But you've got to have played Pokemon, right? First gen at least.

[Nicholas Waters]

What's your starter?

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

Honestly, I always thought Bulbasaur was underrated.

[Static Man]

See, now there's an interesting opinion.

[Nicholas Waters]

So I disagree on that point. I don't recognize that instrument.

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

Oh, it's a Neverly. Grew it myself. Mostly just sounds like a banjo, which I like.

[Nicholas Waters]

Sorry, I didn't mean for you to stop. It's really lovely.

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

It's okay. We're static, ma'.

[The Trucker]

Am.

[Nicholas Waters]

I'm sure he's around here. He has to be. He doesn't really exist without being recorded. He might be trying to read a little Life again, which. Good luck. But please continue playing.

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

Don't get much of a chance to play anymore, so. Thanks for that.

[Nicholas Waters]

Of course. So you're a musician?

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

Not much of one anymore, but yeah.

[Nicholas Waters]

How would you end up here? If you don't mind me asking?

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

How do you end up here?

[Nicholas Waters]

That's a complex story.

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

Oh, okay then. Cause I was thinking it was gonna be super simple. Just, you know, wanted a vacation in the magical world of wonder. And whimsy.

[Nicholas Waters]

To put it simply, we're attempting to attain a body for my. For my friend. It's a ritual of my own creation, though it's heavily modified off of a path my father once went down. We listen to the radio, listen to the weirdness on the radio. Well, sometimes it's weirdness, sometimes it's just static. Depends. We drive, purify ourselves, and hopefully a ready to fill body will be waiting for us at the end of it.

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

Is your dad Michael Waters?

[Nicholas Waters]

Was. He's dead now. I killed him. Well, I killed him again. Hopefully that doesn't make you think less of me.

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

No. From everything I heard, he was awful.

[Nicholas Waters]

He genuinely was. Did you know him or.

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

No. You really want to hear it?

[Nicholas Waters]

If you want to tell me, I'll keep this.

[The Trucker]

Quick.

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

I was a musicologist. I got curious about things people shouldn't get curious about. Learned that magic was real. Thought I was really cool for knowing that. Then got obsessed with something called a Godsong.

[Nicholas Waters]

Sorry, Godsong. Possessive or God song, plural.

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

Nicholas, if you could answer that, you could probably have as much virgin blood or eyes of newt as your little sorcerer heart could possibly desire. I think it's neither literally the song that is God or transcends God. Anyway, my theory was that the reason people couldn't properly play the God song was that human beings couldn't play it. We just weren't meant to. So I thought, why don't I create a being that was specifically designed to play the God song? Then I learned about body crafting, which isn't a fun rabbit hole to go down. And I heard about someone that had built and adapted a place to create bodies. I thought I could use that. My plan wasn't great. So here I am, keeping my head.

[The Trucker]

Down.

[Nicholas Waters]

And you haven't thought to escape.

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

Sorry, I. I've thought about it. I just really don't want to die.

[Nicholas Waters]

Do you know what the Godsong will do if it's ever played?

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

Some idiots think it'll bring about the.

[Nicholas Waters]

End of the world.

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

More people think it will bring the person who plays it eternal life or youth or wealth or knowledge. Your standard something amazing will happen, but we aren't sure what. But I think it's more than that. I think it's literally the perfect song. When you're writing a song, you're trying to achieve transcendence, to touch the sublime. You never do, though. You can come close, but it's never perfect. I think the Godsong is perfect. It's the one truly transcendent song.

[The Trucker]

Huh.

[Nicholas Waters]

In your research, did you ever get a sense of what it sounded like? Any idea? Not the exact thing, but I had theories.

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

Obviously, I wasn't there yet, but I was close.

[Nicholas Waters]

Could you play it? What, you thought it could be?

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

I. It's been a while, but I can try. Here.

[Nicholas Waters]

You ready? Yeah.

[Static Man]

A little bit of Monica in my life. A little bit of Erica by my side.

[Nicholas Waters]

Sorry. Sorry.

[Static Man]

Really, I just couldn't resist. I heard you talking. It was just. It was too funny to pass up. I'm sorry. I really am.

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

How long were you listening?

[Static Man]

A bit. Enough to hear about the Gods song and, like, I really do want to hear it. You're a really wonderful musician. I'm sorry.

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

No, it was funny. I've been obsessed with this song for years, and it. It's. You know what? I am fine with saying that the most perfect song in all of existence is Mambo Number five by Lou Vega.

[Nicholas Waters]

There.

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

My life quest's finished.

[Nicholas Waters]

I would actually love to hear you play, though.

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

Honestly, I can't get Mambo Number five.

[Nicholas Waters]

Out of my head.

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

So maybe later.

[Nicholas Waters]

Oh, God, me neither. Static Man, I am so excited for you to get a new body, because then I will be able to punch you in the face.

[Static Man]

Guys, I'm sorry. It stuck in my head, too. And, hey, I could have gone with somebody once told me, would you like that? Would all star by smash mouth would have been better. I just. I can't get over how cute this little thing is. It's so cute.

[Nicholas Waters]

Do you think it's almost ready?

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

Yeah, it's getting close.

[Static Man]

Oh, you're almost ready. You hear that, little guy?

[Nicholas Waters]

How did you learn how to plant an instrument, by the way? That's genuinely fascinating.

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

It was in the repair manual. Made some modifications, but this is all in Moody's handbook.

[Static Man]

Did you give him a name yet?

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

No, it's an instrument.

[Nicholas Waters]

But everything except for this is ready, correct? You don't need any?

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

No, I'm good.

[Static Man]

Hey, so a few nights ago, you mentioned that you used to make bodies.

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

Yes, I researched it. Where is this going?

[Static Man]

Uh, I was just wondering if any souls sort of rejected their new bodies.

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

I wouldn't know. Didn't really get too in depth, but maybe souls and bodies are pretty intertwined.

[Nicholas Waters]

You doing all right, Static Man?

[Static Man]

Yeah, yeah, I'm good. Just thinking about some stuff. But don't worry, little guy, you're still cute. Yes, you are. Yo, when this is over, can I keep the instrument?

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

No, no, sorry, but that's going to be mine.

[Static Man]

Oh, yeah, totally.

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

You can watch it grow, though. We still have a couple of days.

[Nicholas Waters]

Yeah. And you're sure we don't need to do anything?

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

No, just stand still and be as quiet as you possibly can be.

[The Trucker]

Got it.

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

Okay. So here goes.

[Nicholas Waters]

Is that. Did it work?

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

See if the car starts.

[Nicholas Waters]

Come on.

[Static Man]

Oh, hell yeah. Awesome job.

[Mark (Show Writer/Host)]

Woo.

[Nicholas Waters]

Thank you. Sincerely. Are. Is there anything we can do to repay you?

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

Moody's doesn't charge for repairs for some reason, so.

[Nicholas Waters]

No, I meant you specifically.

[Static Man]

Yeah. Why don't you come with us? Like, I realize that it's kind of dangerous and stuff, but Nicholas is stupid powerful, and I can eviscerate people with my teeth. He'll be totes cool.

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

No, I'm fine right here.

[Nicholas Waters]

Are you sure?

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

Yeah, it's. I'll be okay.

[Nicholas Waters]

It's your decision.

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

Thank you.

[Nicholas Waters]

Phil.

[The Trucker]

Offering.

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

Listen, when I was planning out my voyage here, I made a song or a ritual. Same thing, really? This place is big. Bigger than you know. And you'll be driving for a long time if you keep going this way. But if you put this. This cassette into your cassette deck, your. Your cassette deck works, right?

[Nicholas Waters]

Yes.

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

Listen to the song. Then you'll get to the center of the ritual. It calls something a hitchhiker. That'll take you where you want to go.

[Nicholas Waters]

Why didn't you use it? If you don't mind me asking?

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

I did. I didn't go through with it to the end. I decided to keep my head down. But it's an option if you want.

[Nicholas Waters]

Thank you.

[Static Man]

And thank you for everything. Seriously, this has been really, really cool.

[Echo of Nicholas's Mother]

Thanks.

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

I don't get company that often.

[Nicholas Waters]

Anyway.

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

You guys have some driving to do.

[Static Man]

Bye. Oh, hey, she's waving.

[Nicholas Waters]

Do you want to use what she gave us?

[Static Man]

Oh, hell yeah. Things are coming to an end. It's like a feeling I have in my bones.

[Nicholas Waters]

Or teeth.

[Static Man]

How about you?

[Nicholas Waters]

I. I trust her.

[Static Man]

Then put it in, dude.

[Nicholas Waters]

All right.

[Static Man]

Yo. Is that.

[Nicholas Waters]

I assume so. I'll stop the car. Where are you headed?

[The Trucker]

Probably about where you're headed. Ah, shit.

[Static Man]

What are you doing to me? God damn it.

[Nicholas Waters]

What did you do to him?

[The Trucker]

He's just sleeping. Nothing to worry about. Come on. I'm going to my truck. Bring him along.

[Nicholas Waters]

I don't know how to carry him.

[The Trucker]

You carry him like a person. Now, come on.

[Nicholas Waters]

If you could just take his legs, that would be extremely helpful.

[The Trucker]

No, I'm not gonna do. Come on. Up on the ship. Yeah, put it in the ship.

[Nicholas Waters]

I thought it would be a little less organic.

[The Trucker]

Guess you were wrong.

[Nicholas Waters]

The truck is A being of some.

[The Trucker]

I'm the trucker. That's all I am.

[Nicholas Waters]

Oh.

[The Trucker]

So you summoned me.

[Nicholas Waters]

Apparently I have clerk.

[The Trucker]

Can write a good song. Gets in your head. Pulls you.

[Nicholas Waters]

Why was she unable to complete the ritual? If you don't mind me asking?

[The Trucker]

That's her business. Ask her yourself if you want to know. She's a part of this place now. Lives here. Got no quarrel with her.

[Nicholas Waters]

Unlike me.

[The Trucker]

Unlike you.

[Nicholas Waters]

I hope it goes without saying that Static man and I would like to be transported to the center of the ritual.

[The Trucker]

Yeah, got that.

[Nicholas Waters]

Then please do that. I genuinely don't want to have a problem here. Are we going to have a problem here? Maybe.

[The Trucker]

You know what I am.

[Nicholas Waters]

I assume you're the last of your kind, Tattoo.

[The Trucker]

But mostly I'm tired, Nicholas. So goddamn tired. Chasing you around the blacktop is exhausting.

[Nicholas Waters]

You know that. I sympathize. But why do it?

[The Trucker]

Because you gotta poke. Nicolas. When you see a wasps nest, why do you have to stick your hand in there? You curious what's in there? Wasps. There's wasps. And they'll sting you. You get what I'm saying?

[Nicholas Waters]

I believe I do.

[The Trucker]

Okay.

[Nicholas Waters]

Okay.

[The Trucker]

You know, I had this whole intimidating speech plan. Whole thing about infection. Now everything you touch becomes unclean. Like a conquest metaphor. Oh, that's just gonna run you over. But I'm fine just talking if you are.

[Nicholas Waters]

That works for me.

[The Trucker]

Okay. Your daddy was an. You knew that, right?

[Nicholas Waters]

I've been told. He also tried to eat my heart while I was still alive in order to gain immortality. So, yes, I know My dad had his faults.

[The Trucker]

He didn't care about this place. He warped it into some 50s Americana wet tree. Didn't even realize he was doing it. That's how powerful he was. Things just bent to his will.

[Nicholas Waters]

I am not him. I'm not as powerful as he was. I realized that.

[The Trucker]

Not yet. And you're bringing along a friend. Your dad wouldn't have done that.

[Nicholas Waters]

Like I said, I am not him.

[The Trucker]

If you believe that hard enough, maybe you can keep that. True. I'm gonna take you to finish the ritual. And you're gonna stop following in your daddy's footsteps.

[Nicholas Waters]

If you're asking me to stop performing magic.

[The Trucker]

No, no, hold your horses. I'm not stupid. Create your own rituals. Do whatever you want. Just don't go chasing after your daddy's loose ends. All right? Don't come back here.

[Nicholas Waters]

My father left some powerful loose ends.

[The Trucker]

Okay. So we can try to kill each other. Gonna remind you that your bodyguard is asleep. Did that on purpose. I assume you have various protections and wards, but I'm a big organic magical truck, so who knows who's gonna kill who? Kind of a toss up, then. You still have to listen to that radio of yours for a couple more weeks, which I don't think's gonna be fun for you. You still got that weird skinless preacher?

[Nicholas Waters]

He's still there.

[The Trucker]

Your call.

[Nicholas Waters]

I think my father has taught me as much as he could. I'll take you up on your offer.

[The Trucker]

Good call. Come on, we're almost there.

[Nicholas Waters]

I wasn't aware we were driving.

[The Trucker]

I can keep myself pretty quiet. And I ain't got windows. Cause they're my eyes. Whole thing adds up to a smooth food ride.

[Nicholas Waters]

Huh? Will your various fluids stain my clothes?

[The Trucker]

Don't really know. Don't have a lot of visitors in my camp. We're here. Carry a friend down. He'll wake up in the parking lot.

[Nicholas Waters]

Thank you.

[The Trucker]

Don't mention it. Seriously.

[Nicholas Waters]

Goodbye.

[The Trucker]

10, 4.

[Nicholas Waters]

Oh.

[Static Man]

What the hell happened?

[Nicholas Waters]

Everything's all right. Her song worked.

[Static Man]

Oh, awesome. Wait, why are we in the diner's parking lot? Yo, if we're all the way back.

[Nicholas Waters]

No, we are where we need to be. Come on.

[Static Man]

Did everything go okay with the hitchhiker? Like you didn't have to sell your soul or anything.

[Nicholas Waters]

Don't worry. We're all right.

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

Hello, and welcome to Moody's Family Friendly Diner and Eatery, where we promise to treat you like the family we never had. I believe your party is waiting for you. Would you. You follow me?

[Nicholas Waters]

Yeah. Thanks for the. For everything.

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

Don't mention it.

[Nicholas Waters]

Mom.

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

It's all right.

[Echo of Nicholas's Mother]

It's all right, my beautiful boy.

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

There, there.

[Echo of Nicholas's Mother]

It's okay. You are not my son. This is my son. He's my handsome young man, and you are not going to take him away from me.

[Static Man]

Dude, are you okay?

[Nicholas Waters]

We should sit down. I'm not sure what to call you.

[Echo of Nicholas's Mother]

Call me whatever you'd like. As long as you don't call me mother. And yes, sit down.

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

Can I get you heb cats anything?

[Echo of Nicholas's Mother]

Some meat, if you have it. My beautiful boy is growing. He needs his fuel.

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

Any particular meat you'd like?

[Echo of Nicholas's Mother]

Whatever you have.

[Nicholas Waters]

Sure.

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

And you guys?

[Nicholas Waters]

I'm all right.

[Static Man]

Yeah, I'm not that hungry.

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

I'll be right back with your unspecified meat.

[Nicholas Waters]

So if you're not my mother, who exactly are you? If you don't mind me asking?

[Echo of Nicholas's Mother]

I am the one who has given birth to your half brother. Say hello, my beautiful boy.

[Nicholas Waters]

Hello. He is beautiful, but his cheeks.

[Echo of Nicholas's Mother]

Oh, yes. Sometimes when he's in a particularly bad mood, he gouges himself.

[Nicholas Waters]

Ah. And I assume my father wasn't able to use this particular body for his own ends.

[Echo of Nicholas's Mother]

No. No, he was not. He created me as an echo of someone he knew formed from the clay and asphalt of this place, the energies. He created me to give birth to a hollow child that he could fill with him himself when he needed to. But my beautiful, handsome son wasn't hollow. Were you? No, you weren't. You were filled with your mother's love. Your dad said you were corrupt and broken. But you weren't, were you, my handsome young man? He just couldn't take him because I loved him too much. And you are not going to take my beautiful boy away from me. I know what you want to do. You want to fill him up with your disgusting friend here. You want to use him like he was just a piece of meat. But he's my beautiful boy and I love him. If you try and take him away from me, I will gouge out your eyes and pour salt on your gaping wounds. And then my son will take parts from you so he can grow big and strong. Do you understand? Nicholas Waters.

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

Here's your mead. I hope bacon's fine. I brought a lot of it.

[Echo of Nicholas's Mother]

It's perfect. Here you go, my loved one.

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

So this is the body you were.

[Nicholas Waters]

Yes. I'm sure we can come to some sort of understanding. Yo.

[Static Man]

Are we sure about that? I mean, no offense of the echo of your mother. Not really sure what's going on there. Have I said your dad's creepy as hell?

[Nicholas Waters]

Because I'm aware.

[Static Man]

But I think we could probably.

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

Let'S.

[Static Man]

Say, finish the ritual if we wanted to.

[Echo of Nicholas's Mother]

You're not going to take my beautiful boy. I won't let you. I will die before I let you touch one hair on his perfect head.

[Nicholas Waters]

Static man, if you want to.

[Static Man]

We've been through a lot, okay? We've listened to that weird radio, and a trucker tried to run us down, and there was a freaking Tim Curry junk salesman, and I want a body again.

[Nicholas Waters]

Are you sure? No.

[Static Man]

Definitely not like this. No offense. I definitely don't want to be stuffed in your half brother's body. He's not exactly Tom Hardy.

[Nicholas Waters]

But we.

[Static Man]

Have to come back with, like, something, somebody like.

[Nicholas Waters]

That's part of the ritual or we lose a random limb. Yes.

[Echo of Nicholas's Mother]

So stop talking. Stop talking like my beautiful boy isn't there. Like he's just a tool you can use to get what you want.

[Nicholas Waters]

I'm sorry.

[Echo of Nicholas's Mother]

No, no. I know Things. I was born in this place. And I'm not going to let you leave. Even if you just leave right now. I will curse the you. But if you try and take my son, I will curse you more. You are my enemies and I hate you. I hate you with every bone in my body. I will. You will see someone that looks exactly like your mother die a horrible death. You won't like that, will you?

[Nicholas Waters]

Static Man? Can you do what you did last time in the diner? Wait, seriously? Yes.

[Static Man]

I mean, your call.

[Echo of Nicholas's Mother]

Where is he going? Because if this.

[Nicholas Waters]

Don't worry, don't worry.

[Moody Marvin (Radio Host)]

Hello to all you cats.

[Nicholas Waters]

I hope you're. Don't worry.

[Echo of Nicholas's Mother]

Because if this is.

[Nicholas Waters]

It's not a trick. Come dance with me. If you don't. Well, I wasn't quite clear on that point, but we'll all probably die horribly. So come dance with me. Listen to some music and dance. You have to dance.

[Moody Marvin (Radio Host)]

Now, this is a slow dance, so I hope you're holding your dance partner close. Remember, you had better dance or I.

[Nicholas Waters]

Might get evely moody. Now, let's listen to a song from way back. It's Diana Wayne George with Always and Forever.

[Echo of Nicholas's Mother]

Why are you.

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

It's all right.

[Nicholas Waters]

Just follow my lean.

[Echo of Nicholas's Mother]

Your father wasn't a dancer. Or that's what your mother's memories tell me. I have some of them.

[Nicholas Waters]

Huh. I didn't know that. I guess I inherited his two left feet. I'm sorry. I know you're not her. And I know you. You look exactly like her. And I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I should have visited you when I had the chance. I should have said goodbye, but I didn't because I was scared and I.

[Echo of Nicholas's Mother]

There, there. It's all right.

[Nicholas Waters]

I'm sorry, Mom. I'm sorry. I always took it for granted. And then you. I just miss you so much.

[Echo of Nicholas's Mother]

It's all right.

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

It's all right.

[Nicholas Waters]

It's.

[Echo of Nicholas's Mother]

It's a good song, isn't.

[Nicholas Waters]

Is?

[Echo of Nicholas's Mother]

That was.

[Moody Marvin (Radio Host)]

That was Diane Wayne George with Always and Forever. And I'm Moody Marvin, hoping you'll find your Always and forever.

[Nicholas Waters]

Let's see.

[Moody Marvin (Radio Host)]

It looks like the dancing was good.

[Nicholas Waters]

Great job.

[Moody Marvin (Radio Host)]

You get a free coupon for a Moody's Family Friendly Cola carbonated beverage. Congrats to receive your free Moody's Family.

[Nicholas Waters]

Friendly Cola carbonated beverage.

[Moody Marvin (Radio Host)]

Mail a letter to.

[Nicholas Waters]

I like that, too. Now, you can trust me, right?

[Echo of Nicholas's Mother]

Of course. Of course I can. You wouldn't do anything to hurt me. You're such a nice young man.

[Nicholas Waters]

Okay, because we're going to leave. And I don't want any curses or anything bad to happen to us.

[Echo of Nicholas's Mother]

Of course not. How could you say that? I would never. You're my son's brother. See? He likes you.

[Nicholas Waters]

That's good to hear. Now, come on. Let's sit back down.

[Static Man]

You okay, dude?

[Nicholas Waters]

I'm all right. Actually, if we could have some water.

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

Got some waters. Anything else I can help you with?

[Nicholas Waters]

Actually, we need a body to come back with us to the quote, unquote real world. Or we lose a random limb. I would prefer not to lose a random limb. And if you're willing, you're more than welcome to come with us.

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

I'm not going to get hollowed out in.

[Nicholas Waters]

No. The ritual didn't say anything about an empty body, just a new body. And I believe you qualify.

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

Um, do I have to swear fealty to you? Because I. I would do that.

[Nicholas Waters]

You can decide that later. But if you're worried about employment, I'm sure we can arrange something. Yes.

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

Yes. The. The trucker isn't following her.

[Nicholas Waters]

No, we're safe. We're just going to leave.

[The Trucker]

Oh.

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

Okay, then. I can do that. Yeah, I. I'd like that. I'd like that a lot.

[Nicholas Waters]

Wonderful. Static, man. Hi.

[Static Man]

It's fine.

[Nicholas Waters]

No, it's not. I'm sorry. I promised you we would get a body.

[Static Man]

No, no.

[Nicholas Waters]

You.

[Static Man]

You tried, dude. And we can always try again. You know, I'm the whisper on the wind.

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

That's cool.

[Static Man]

I'm cool. I am.

[Nicholas Waters]

You know something about crafting bodies, correct?

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

Yeah, a little.

[Nicholas Waters]

We have options that aren't using this body.

[Static Man]

Yeah, I don't.

[Nicholas Waters]

Yeah. So, mom, unless there's anything else.

[Echo of Nicholas's Mother]

Are you leaving so soon?

[Nicholas Waters]

I think it's most likely for the best.

[Echo of Nicholas's Mother]

Well, come and visit if you can. We'll miss you.

[Nicholas Waters]

I'll. Bye, brother. Come on. Let's go.

[Echo of Nicholas's Mother]

Thank you for letting me keep my beautiful boy.

[Static Man]

Holy shit. What are those little antler rabbit things?

[Nicholas Waters]

Should we be worried?

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

No, they're harmless. And my name's is Morgan, so call me that.

[Nicholas Waters]

Morgan it is.

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

I haven't seen as many of them. Please, though.

[Static Man]

Yo, you did run one over, so if they're, like, taking revenge, we should.

[Nicholas Waters]

Yo, what are they?

[Static Man]

So are we cool to just leave?

[Nicholas Waters]

I believe we are.

[Static Man]

Any idea why?

[Morgan (Repair Shop Worker/Musician)]

They're none.

[The Trucker]

Come on.

[Static Man]

I call shotgun. Seriously, Dude, I called it. There are three people now. So I want shotgun.

[The Trucker]

Yeah.

[Nicholas Waters]

Ready? Oh, hell, yeah.

[Echo of Nicholas's Mother]

Yes.

[Static Man]

Yeah. You want to turn the radio on?

[Nicholas Waters]

You know what? I'm all right. Hello.

[Mark (Show Writer/Host)]

I am Sponsor Bot. We have driven down this road together. Your brains have listened to the sounds of the radio as it goes slowly into the static and into the stability. Hi all. This is Mark. The Mark that writes the show, not the Mark that's in the show. I mean, sometimes I'm in the show, but you know what I mean. Anyway, just wanted to say a couple things to y' all directly. So first of all, thank you so much for listening. Left of the Dial was a lot of work, a lot more work than anticipated and we really hope you enjoyed it. Thank you for supporting us on Patreon, Drawing fan Art, talking about us on Reddit and Twitter. It's been really fun. Next, there will Definitely be more Archive 81. Right now we're going to regroup and try to come up with something wonderful. We are working on a few different ideas and we are really excited about them. Stay tuned for more news on the next chapter of Archive 81 later this year. Also, we'd love for you to keep being the amazing fans you are while we work on season four. Our Patreon's still going strong and we will post all the left of the dial music soon. Keep drawing fan art, tweeting your strange theories, posting thirst traps with Archive 81 merchants, all that fun stuff. We will be back. Thank you so much. And of course, obviously your genitals crushed and mangled. Goodbye organics.