Podcast Summary: "Is Slut a Bad Word?" with Not Skinny But Not Fat Amanda Hirsch

Podcast: Are You A Charlotte?
Host: Kristin Davis
Guest: Amanda Hirsch (Not Skinny But Not Fat)
Season 3, Episode 6 ("Are We Sluts?")
Date: November 24, 2025

Overview

This episode of Are You A Charlotte? features Kristin Davis (Charlotte from Sex and the City) and pop culture commentator Amanda Hirsch, host of Not Skinny But Not Fat. The pair delve into "Are We Sluts?" (Sex and the City, S3E6)—an episode that originally aired in 2000—and discuss the evolution of conversations around sexuality, shame, and womanhood. Their lively, reflective discussion unpacks how societal views on women, sex, and language have changed, the impact of Sex and the City then and now, and why the “slut” label still matters. The podcast blends nostalgia, media critique, and personal perspectives.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

The Genesis of Amanda's Brand & the Power of Pop Culture Fandom

[04:16–09:49]

• Amanda reflects on starting her Not Skinny But Not Fat brand organically from her passion for talking about pop culture:
  “It was just a passion... I kept going and going... If you keep doing something that you love, something good will come of it.”
• Kristin and Amanda discuss the rise of community-centered pop culture fandom, fueled by the internet and social media:
  “Even think about rewatch podcasts. People love diving deeper—even if they’ve watched the show a million times.”
• Amanda shares how letting go of self-consciousness, approaching content like acting, and having fun with lip-syncing ultimately freed her creativity.

Revisiting 'Sex and the City' and 'Breaking the Fourth Wall'

[09:49–13:02]

• Kristin talks about the decision to revisit and discuss the show from the inside—a rarity when it first aired:
  "We felt like we shouldn’t talk about the reality... we just wanted it to live in a fantasy on the screen."
• Both discuss the cultural shift toward wanting “inside baseball” details, but Amanda raises concerns about oversharing and whether audiences are losing some of the magic:
  "Let us live in the fantasy that these actors are in love... Now, every kissing scene is dissected."
• The downside of tabloid culture and paparazzi:
  • Back then, paparazzi coverage was less pervasive and less real-time; now, everything is immediate and “papered” across social media.
  • Kristin describes how location shoots in NYC could be spoiled by leaks, and sometimes the crew staged fake scenes to throw off the paps.

The Legacy and Uniqueness of 'Sex and the City'

[17:03–19:40]

• Kristin acknowledges the challenge of being labeled “iconic” in real time and only later being able to appreciate the show's impact:
  "Until you have some time and distance... it’s really hard to take it in."
• She highlights what set Sex and the City apart:
  • Four very different women, all seeking fulfillment, who talk openly about relationships and sex—not a soap opera, but a blend of comedy and drama from a women’s perspective.
  • The show's influence paved the way for more nuanced women's stories, like those in Girls and Insecure.

The Structure and Timelessness of the Show

[24:06–27:59]

• The hosts are amazed at how much storytelling fits into 23-minute episodes.
  "So much story—no wonder people are binging it now because it’s freaking bingeable." – Amanda
• Kristin details how hard it was to shoot, with quick dialogue, multiple overlapping storylines, and rapid transitions—more like filming a movie than a sitcom.
• The tight writing and character-driven silence are identified as a core reason the show remains relevant.

Deep Dive: “Are We Sluts?” Episode Analysis

Samantha’s Story: Shame, Judgment, and Vulnerability
[28:02–29:53]

• Kristin had forgotten Samantha’s storyline about being shamed by her building after a late-night hookup inadvertently led to a crime. She empathizes with the emotional pain behind Samantha’s bravado:
  “Samantha’s bluster... but you can see the hurt in her face... to be judged like that cuts deep.”

Miranda’s Story: Sexual Past and Honesty
[29:53–36:13]

• Amanda highlights Miranda and Steve’s “body count” conversation—Steve’s “What? I’m a bartender and I’m cute!”
  [31:01] Amanda: "The minute Steve said, 'What? I'm a bartender and I'm cute,' I was brought back… That’s like top 20, a line you remember forever."
• Discussion of Miranda handling her chlamydia diagnosis and calls to past partners with authenticity and coolness.
  [37:41] Podcast Host: "If you need to watch an instructional video on how to tell a partner, slap on this episode."
• Both agree Miranda’s mature reaction is refreshing and instructive, despite Steve’s initially childish response.

Carrie and Aiden: Chemistry, Double Standards, and Game Playing
[39:52–53:54]

• Re-examining early Aiden, Amanda remarks that he was "dreamy" at the time, but now his controlling or withholding tendencies stand out more:
  [46:26] Podcast Host: "I was like, okay, love the nook, love the vibes, but did not love... why is it your decision by yourself when you're gonna penetrate?"
  • Kristin and Amanda debate whether Aiden’s boundary-setting was refreshing or patronizing.
• They discuss how Carrie, after heartbreak with Big, doubts herself and goes along with Aiden’s pace—highlighting the perennial question of how long to ‘wait’ before sex, and the pressure women put on themselves.
• Amanda admits the “rules” of dating and intimacy still confuse and frustrate her, and both advocate for “letting it be organic”:
  [58:11] Podcast Host: "Maybe there's like the person for you that you can just be you..."
• The hosts note Carrie and Aiden’s “insane chemistry,” with Amanda obsessing over how “real” the kissing feels on-screen.

The Enduring Relevance of Sex and Shame Conversations

[55:08–58:34]

• The question, “Is ‘slut’ a bad word?” is reframed as still relevant; issues around sexual stigma, judgment, and game's-playing persist for women of all ages.
• Amanda and Kristin acknowledge generational shifts (from office phones to hookups post-3-dinner rule) but admit that shame and complexity around sex remain constant.

Memorable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• On Doing What You Love:
  “If you keep doing something that you love, something good will come of it.”
  — Amanda Hirsch [07:31]

• On Wanting to Preserve Mystery:
  "Let us live in the fantasy that these actors are in love. I don’t care that you have a family and, like, husband."
  — Podcast Host [11:32]

• On Samantha’s Strength and Humanity:
  “Samantha’s bluster... but you can see the hurt in her face... to be judged like that cuts deep.”
  — Kristin Davis [29:39]

• Steve’s Legendary Line:
  “What? I’m a bartender and I’m cute.”
  — Steve (as discussed by Amanda Hirsch) [31:01]

• On Carrie’s Dating Dilemma:
  “Why is it your decision by yourself, like, when you’re gonna penetrate?”
  — Podcast Host [47:21]

• On the Timelessness of Sex and Judgment:
  “These are questions that will never go away.”
  — Amanda Hirsch [55:50]

• On Dropping the Games:
  “Maybe there's like the person for you that you can just be you... and let it be organic.”
  — Podcast Host & Amanda Hirsch [58:11–58:16]

Important Segments & Timestamps

• [04:16–09:49]: Amanda’s brand origin, the power of authentic fandom
• [09:49–13:02]: The downside of “breaking the fourth wall,” paparazzi, changing perceptions
• [17:03–19:40]: The show’s unique legacy and representation of women
• [24:06–27:59]: Dissecting the structure, writing, and binge-ability of Sex and the City
• [28:02–29:53]: Samantha’s vulnerability and the pain of slut-shaming
• [29:53–36:13]: Miranda’s chlamydia plot, honesty about sexual pasts, and memorable show lines
• [39:52–53:54]: Re-examining Aiden, Carrie’s dating mistakes, chemistry vs. games
• [55:08–58:34]: Modern dating “rules," the persistence of sexual stigma

Tone and Style

Lively, candid, and reflective—a mix of pop culture critique, personal anecdotes, and open-hearted dialogue. Both Kristin and Amanda blend nostalgia with sharp observations about how women’s sexuality, relationships, and “slut” labels are still loaded topics today. The tone is humorous, self-aware, and empathetic.

For Listeners

Whether or not you’ve watched the episode, this conversation offers a smart, funny, and nuanced exploration of sex, shame, and social change—through the lens of classic and contemporary pop culture. It’s as much about who we are as what we watch.