Podcast Summary: "Are You A Charlotte?"
Episode: Let’s Talk about Sex (with Dr. Hillary Goldsher)
Release Date: February 13, 2025

Introduction

In the premiere episode of "Are You A Charlotte?" hosted by Kristin Davis, the conversation delves deep into the cultural and societal impact of the iconic TV show Sex and the City. Joined by guest Dr. Hillary Goldsher, a clinical psychologist with over a decade of experience, Kristin explores themes surrounding female sexuality, friendships, and the evolving narratives around marriage and singlehood. This episode not only revisits the groundbreaking moments of the show but also juxtaposes them with today's societal norms and conversations.

Revisiting Sex and the City: Breaking Barriers

Kristin Davis opens the discussion by reflecting on the early days of Sex and the City and its role in bringing previously taboo topics about women's sex lives into mainstream conversation.

Kristin Davis [03:15]: "We really didn't know what we were doing. We filmed the whole first season without it being on the air. We didn't know the response. We were so nervous about how people were gonna respond... there wasn't really four women talking about relationships and sex so openly."

Dr. Goldsher acknowledges the show's pioneering spirit in portraying unapologetic and open discussions about female sexuality.

Dr. Hillary Goldsher [06:05]: "There's something interesting about that... we can talk about our opinions or thoughts in a moment, but holding both sides, there is sort of an interesting unapologetic freedom around sex."

Consent, Boundaries, and Cultural Norms

A significant portion of the episode examines the portrayal of consent and boundaries, particularly through the lens of early episodes like "Models Immortalis," which featured a controversial sex tape storyline.

Kristin Davis [04:42]: "We didn't remember the sex tape storyline at all. No apology whatsoever."

Dr. Goldsher delves into the cultural roles depicted in the show, highlighting how characters like Carrie embodied the "bothered witness" archetype, reflecting societal expectations of women's reactions to sexual situations.

Dr. Hillary Goldsher [05:15]: "Carrie is sort of cast as the, like, bothered witness... has no other reaction, but, like, I'm a little hot and bothered and maybe a little uncomfortable and isn't that sort of cute and sweet?"

The discussion underscores how cultural norms around consent have evolved since the show's inception, emphasizing the importance of open conversations about comfort and boundaries.

Empowerment Through Female Sexuality: Samantha's Role

Samantha Jones, portrayed by Kim Cattrall, serves as a focal point for discussions about female empowerment and sexual agency.

Dr. Hillary Goldsher [08:24]: "Samantha's POV in general is actually really valuable... taking responsibility for her own sexual journey, her own sexual pleasure. It's curious and excited and energetic and connected and unashamed."

Kristin praises Samantha's character for embodying a liberated and unapologetic approach to sexuality, a trait that continues to resonate with audiences today.

Kristin Davis [09:02]: "She's so powerful and such a great example that most of us would struggle to try to be like."

Dr. Goldsher further elaborates on the persistent societal challenges women face in openly discussing their sexual desires and journeys.

Dr. Hillary Goldsher [09:43]: "We can talk about our opinions or thoughts... women still feel like, is it okay for me to talk about my own orgasm... It's still completely relevant."

The Evolution of Female Friendships

The episode transitions to explore the dynamics of female friendships portrayed in the show, particularly the bond between the main characters.

Kristin reflects on the show's ability to present female friendships as a source of empowerment and community, challenging the traditional narrative that equates a woman's fulfillment solely with romantic relationships.

Kristin Davis [25:03]: "Maybe we could just be each other's soulmates... it's so amazing what people gravitate to and hold on to."

Dr. Goldsher concurs, highlighting how the show provided an alternative narrative that valued women’s connections outside of romantic partnerships.

Dr. Hillary Goldsher [25:03]: "Maybe there's an acceptability to my community of women and sort of sisters, if you will."

Marriage, Singlehood, and Societal Pressures

A pivotal discussion centers on the societal expectations surrounding marriage and singlehood, both during the show's era and today.

Kristin shares personal anecdotes about navigating public perception and personal identity amidst rising fame and societal pressures.

Kristin Davis [17:47]: "When someone got married, they shifted into this other kind of world... as a single person, I felt like I had to make an effort to be there."

Dr. Goldsher provides a psychological perspective on the enduring pressures women face to marry, despite evolving societal norms.

Dr. Hillary Goldsher [12:32]: "Men are bestowed with a right to explore and declare their sexuality, and women are not. It's still a distinct difference in terms of that openness and flexibility expected from fascination."

The conversation delves into the internalized shame and societal narratives that persistently pressure women to seek fulfillment through marriage.

Dr. Hillary Goldsher [34:32]: "I still work with many women who still have that internalized notion that they have not completed their life mission if they're not partnered."

Projection and Perceived Threats Among Women

Kristin and Dr. Goldsher analyze specific storylines from the show that depict tension between single and married women, exploring themes of projection and perceived threats.

Kristin Davis [36:40]: "Do you feel still that there is a thing about married women feeling that single women are a threat?"

Dr. Hillary Goldsher [37:30]: "I think it's a combination of both... there's something in there that feels like it comes from an organic place."

They discuss how long-term partnerships can lead to disorientation and destabilization, causing married women to project insecurities onto single women inadvertently.

Dr. Hillary Goldsher [40:16]: "Projection. And I think that's really spot on. It's like a bunch of projections going on."

Personal Identity vs. Public Perception

Kristin shares her personal journey of balancing her identity as Charlotte from the show with her real-life persona, addressing concerns about typecasting and public expectations.

Kristin Davis [21:40]: "I was playing all those things and didn't feel like, oh, gosh, I'm such a prude. I know myself... I didn't feel like I want to prove to everybody that I'm not a prude."

Dr. Goldsher emphasizes the importance of self-representation and the nuanced portrayal of characters, which allows viewers to relate to different facets of their own identities.

Dr. Hillary Goldsher [22:05]: "Being able to relate to the different aspects of oneself and have them represented in such silos really gave an opportunity to consider yourself in relation to each of those kinds of Personas."

Conclusion: Reflecting on Sex and the City's Legacy

As the episode wraps up, Kristin and Dr. Goldsher reflect on the enduring relevance of Sex and the City, appreciating its role in sparking ongoing dialogues about female sexuality, friendships, and societal expectations.

Kristin Davis [42:51]: "It's really just a never-ending investigation into all of those things."

Dr. Goldsher concurs, noting how the show's exploration of multifaceted themes continues to provide valuable insights into evolving societal norms.

Dr. Hillary Goldsher [43:02]: "It really just hits on so many topics that are interesting to explore in terms of how they evolved and some that have remained steady and they're relevant."

The episode sets the stage for future discussions, promising to delve deeper into the themes introduced, ensuring that the legacy of Sex and the City remains a pertinent subject in contemporary discourse.

Notable Quotes

• Kristin Davis [03:15]: "We were so nervous about how people were gonna respond... there weren't really four women talking about relationships and sex so openly."

• Dr. Hillary Goldsher [06:05]: "There is sort of an interesting unapologetic freedom around sex."

• Kristin Davis [09:02]: "She's so powerful and such a great example that most of us would struggle to try to be like."

• Dr. Hillary Goldsher [12:32]: "Men are bestowed with a right to explore and declare their sexuality, and women are not."

• Kristin Davis [21:40]: "I know myself... I didn't feel like I want to prove to everybody that I'm not a prude."

• Dr. Hillary Goldsher [25:43]: "Women, unlike men, have this Edict to be partnered."

Closing Thoughts

This inaugural episode of "Are You A Charlotte?" successfully bridges the past and present, offering listeners a comprehensive analysis of Sex and the City's impact while fostering meaningful conversations about contemporary issues related to gender, sexuality, and relationships. With Kristin Davis's insightful moderation and Dr. Hillary Goldsher's expert perspectives, the episode promises a series rich in reflection, humor, and optimism.