Podcast Summary: "Mints, Chlamydia, and Talking Dirty" – Are You A Charlotte? (S3E6: “Are We Sluts?”)

Date: November 26, 2025
Host: Kristin Davis
Guest: Amanda Hirsch (Not Skinny But Not Fat)

Overview

In this episode of Are You A Charlotte?, Kristin Davis continues her deep-dive conversation with Amanda Hirsch—pop culture commentator and host of “Not Skinny But Not Fat”—as they rewatch and dissect the iconic “Sex and the City” episode, "Are We Sluts?" The discussion blends juicy behind-the-scenes glimpses with thoughtful reflections on sexual politics, double standards, and intimacy (on and off screen). They reminisce about the creative process, the realities of filming awkward sex scenes, and revisit the cultural impact of the original show on sex-positive conversation today.

Key Discussion Points

The Script, Read-throughs, and Character Development

• Script Process & Table Reads

  • Cast received early script drafts and would “rush home to read it or read it at lunch,” energized by what was to come (03:48–04:32).
  • Michael Patrick King valued a performative read-through, using it “to see what jokes work, where the slow parts are… if your jokes don’t hit, they get cut.” (03:54–04:13)
  • Scripts were frequently revised after these read-throughs, sometimes leading to entire storylines being thrown out (04:46–05:28).
  • Quote:

    "You guys have to like perform, okay. Because I don't want your stuff to get cut."
    — Amanda Hirsch, 04:10

• Defending Charlotte's Innocence

  • Kristin recalled resisting a storyline where Charlotte is called degrading names, feeling it was “over the top” and not fair for Charlotte to endure (05:30–06:27).
  • She struggled with Charlotte’s almost impenetrable innocence, especially in moments when she would personally feel anger:

    "I remember feeling... this was one of the times where I kind of felt like I would have been more angry. But... Charlotte does not get angry."
    — Kristin Davis, 12:03–12:47

• Directing Styles

  • The episode’s indie-cred director Nicole Holofcener was described as highly character-driven, offering directions like:

    “Shout louder. Louder. Really shout it in her face.”
    — Amanda Hirsch, 08:50

Filming Sex Scenes: Realities vs. Glamour

• No Intimacy Coordinators

  • During Sex and the City’s original run, the now-standard intimacy coordinator role didn’t exist:

    "Definitely, no, we did not have them."
    — Amanda Hirsch, 18:52

• Awkwardness and Actor Dynamics

  • Filming sex scenes, especially with guest stars, often felt artificial, transactional, and awkward (07:32–11:09).
  • Actors were always present for each other’s closeups—“We never aren’t there. We would never do that. That’s like not cool... That’s like faking it.” (07:20–07:28)
  • Shooting schedule could make things even harder, e.g., filming a sex scene at 11pm after a schedule change (25:54–26:51).

• Physical and Emotional Discomfort

  • Kristin openly says she “didn’t like” certain sex scenes and sometimes just wanted to get through them (23:16, 24:40).

  • Making it pleasant for guest actors was sometimes a struggle:

    “A guy would just show up on set and you’re just in bed with them… that’s not a normal guy part."
    — Amanda Hirsch, 24:52

  • Sex scenes could feel “gratuitous” or merely for comic effect, especially in Charlotte storylines (21:52–22:37).

• The Mint Problem

  • Maintaining fresh breath for closeup intimacy became a running issue:

    “Our camera crew had a box of mints on the front of their camera… Altoids were like, right there because that's how much we needed them.”
    — Amanda Hirsch, 24:17

  • Anecdote about actress Britney Snow and a costar getting sick from "ODing on mints" to avoid bad breath (23:47–24:04).

Sex, Slut-Shaming, and Double Standards

• The “Are We Sluts?” Debate

  • The episode’s core question—whether promiscuous women are unfairly labeled—leads to reflections on enduring double standards (35:57–36:20).
  • Amanda and Kristin agree labeling men “romantic” or “good kissers” for many partners versus women as “sluts” is unjust.

• Is This Still Happening?

  • Amanda wonders if contemporary “hook-up culture” has moved beyond this stigma:

    “I feel like in the hookup culture of today, it might not be [happening]… but I don’t know.”
    — Amanda Hirsch, 36:22

  • Amanda’s example from Love Island, where “they all say their numbers… and I don’t think there’s bias there.” (36:33–36:53)

  • Both agree that, nowadays, directly questioning someone’s sexual history on a first date is generally a red flag (37:35–37:44).

On-Screen Sex & Charlotte’s Numbers

• Charlotte’s Quiet Sex-Positive Story

  • Despite Charlotte’s prude exterior, she was “still doing it… even though she wanted to call it making love and whatever the hell, but, like, she was still doing it.” (38:05–38:22)

• Behind-the-Scenes Fact:

  • According to the official book Kiss and Tell, Charlotte had the highest number of partners on the show:

    “Each character has all the guys they had sex with. And guess who had the most—Me.”
    — Kristin Davis, 38:29–38:41

  • The tally even beat Samantha, to the guest’s astonishment (39:43–39:50).

The Realities of Acting and Production

• It’s Not All Glamorous

  • The grueling production schedule, early call times, and physical discomforts (cold shoots, long hours) contrasted with the show’s chic image (27:22–30:09).

  • “We were walking down the street at 5am… people are screaming at us from cars… we’re freezing and you can see our breath, but you’re not supposed to…”
    — Kristin Davis, 29:38–30:09

• The Excitement and Appreciation

  • Despite it all, Kristin says acting remains a passionate calling, and now she can finally watch and appreciate the show with fresh eyes (31:32–32:02).

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Table Reads:

  “Michael Patrick's very, very old school. So he wants to see what jokes work, where the slow parts are. It's very a performative type of a read through… if your jokes don't hit, they get cut.”
  — Amanda Hirsch, 03:54

• On Filming Bedroom Scenes:

  “We would never do that. That's like not cool. And also because in a bed scene… you’re physically so close… pretty much impossible to film without both people.”
  — Amanda Hirsch, 07:20

• On the Sex Scene Mint Dilemma:

  “Our camera crew had a box of mints on the front of their camera… Altoids were like, right there because that's how much we needed them.”
  — Amanda Hirsch, 24:17

• Reflecting on Slut-Shaming:

  “Men who had a lot of sexual partners are called romantic slash good kissers and women are called sluts.”
  — Interviewer, 36:06

  “That is not fair or good.”
  — Amanda Hirsch, 36:15

• On Charlotte’s Secret Numbers:

  “Each character has all the guys they had sex with. And guess who had the most—Me.”
  — Kristin Davis, 38:41

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Script Process & Read-Throughs: 03:38–06:37
• Table Read Drama/Charlotte’s Storyline: 05:30–06:28
• Filming Sex Scenes/Awkwardness: 07:12–11:09, 18:43–24:40
• Mint Problem & Guest Actor Strangeness: 24:03–25:26
• Sex Scene Scheduling Headaches: 25:56–26:51
• Industry Glamour vs. Reality: 27:22–30:09
• Are We Sluts? Debate Begins: 35:57–37:44
• Charlotte’s Secret Sex Life Stats: 38:29–39:50

Tone and Final Thoughts

The episode was candid, self-deprecating, and packed with a sense of camaraderie—equal parts industry insider and Sex and the City superfan nostalgia. Kristin and Amanda balanced humor with open vulnerability, breaking the “fantasy” of TV magic to reveal very real anxieties, awkwardness, and social progress. Listeners come away with a fresh appreciation for both the show’s cultural contribution and the unglamorous realities behind its most memorable moments.