Are You A Charlotte? – "The Buddy System with Sarita Choudhury"

Podcast: Are You A Charlotte?
Host: Kristin Davis
Guest: Sarita Choudhury
Episode: S2 E14 "The F*ck Buddy"
Date: September 15, 2025

Episode Overview

This episode of "Are You a Charlotte?" delves into Sex and the City’s iconic "The F*ck Buddy" episode from Season 2, exploring its themes, emotional undercurrents, and the evolution of dating and friendship over decades. Host Kristin Davis (Charlotte) invites Sarita Choudhury (Seema from And Just Like That...) for a candid, laughter-filled, and at times profound conversation about joining the beloved franchise, on- and off-screen dynamics, and why SATC has shifted from radical to "comfort food" TV. The episode also navigates the modern dating landscape, reflecting on the parallels and sharp contrasts to SATC’s late ‘90s New York.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Sarita Choudhury’s Legacy & Joining the ‘SATC-verse’

• Reflecting on Her Breakout

  • Kristin expresses admiration for Sarita’s career, tracing back to Mississippi Masala with Denzel Washington.
  • [05:45] Sarita admits, "I couldn't do that now. There's something about being naive that allows you to... at that age, you're just trying to be cool and make sure your hair is doing this when it walks by."
  • Both discuss the vulnerability and innocence of early-career roles.

• Behind the Scenes of ‘And Just Like That…’

  • Both recall group scenes, off-camera camaraderie, and the unique experience of integrating new cast members.
  • [07:25] Sarita: "We don’t have scenes together except group scenes... but on those days, it’s so fun because you and I chat a lot..."
  • [08:25] Sarita: "You took me into a side conference room and we had a great chat... I thought, if she can relate to this, this means I don’t have to get comfortable too early. I have time."
  • Kristin relates to the anxieties newbies face and the importance of a welcoming set.
  • [09:44] Kristin: "Just being present is all that's required. You don't have to be good in the heels, with the props..."

• On Acting, Precision, and Comedy

  • Sarita and Kristin praise Michael Patrick King’s (MPK) “precision” approach, comparing it to math and physics—balancing glamour "clown class" with authentic self.
  • [12:06] Sarita: "It's a math class! ...We deserve a diploma—degree!"

2. ‘Sex and the City’ as Comfort Food & Time Capsule

• Rewatching & Finding Solace

  • Sarita shares discovering the show while going through heartbreak in Italy:
    • [13:18] Sarita: "I was supposed to be out in the city of Rome and instead I was home a lot, and I got really addicted, and it became this private secret ... it helped me with my heartbreak."
  • Both marvel at the series’ continued relevance and emotional resonance.

• How the Radical Became Comforting

  • Kristin: "When we were starting in the beginning, it was radical... and shocking."
  • [21:13] Sarita: "I relate to the feel-good because we're such messed up human beings. The show reflects that. It's radical in that it doesn't cover that up. And that is super comforting."
  • They discuss how the show’s honesty—showing people making mistakes—moves from being polarizing to soothing as viewers age.

3. Dating Then vs. Now: The "Buddy System" and Modern Apps

• Dating Apps: Disconnection & Dopamine

  • Sarita and Kristin, both single, share their confusion and empathy for younger generations navigating apps.
    • [16:14] Sarita: "It's a hot mess. And a lot of work."
    • [16:22] Kristin: "Which I do not have. And I'm very scared and I don't want to go on there."
    • Sarita: "...the same time it takes to read a book. How do you gauge?"

• Sexting, Ghosting, and Fast-Paced Connections

  • Kristin recounts learning from a young man how sexting often precedes even first meetings—leading to ghosting and a sense of unreality.
    • [27:15] Kristin: "[He said] 'Oh, then I just ghost them.' And I'm like, wait, wait, what?"
    • Sarita: "I don't like that. And he admits it with no shame."
  • Discussion on how the digital format fosters a lack of empathy:
    • [28:56] Kristin: "I'm trying to say is that I don't think they think they're real people. I don't think they're real people."
    • [29:19] Sarita: "It would be fascinating how you would navigate an app."

• Shifts in Female Power

  • Kristin observes, "Or I feel—and I could be wrong—but I feel like women are more powerful in the mix. I hope I'm right."
  • Sarita wonders if new dynamics allow women to use that power, or if technology undercuts it.

4. "The F*ck Buddy" Episode Deep Dive

• Bittersweet Realism of Hookup Culture

  • Kristin: “The Fuck Buddy, for some reason, really made me sad.”
  • Sarita: "There was a melancholy in there, a tawdriness..."
  • Both note the ending’s unexpected sadness, citing Dean Winters’ layered performance.
    • [31:53] Sarita: “The way he looks at her, it's almost like he knows what she has decided... almost the beginning of what could be romance.”
    • Kristin: "...then it isn't. And it's sad because they know you can’t recover…"

• Early ‘SATC’ Vibes & Oddball Characters

  • Kristin and Sarita delight in pointing out the eccentric side characters—like Miranda's angry date, Skipper’s return—and their “needle of heroin mixed with a high heel” energy.
  • Discussion of authenticity and risks in early episodes, especially pre-SATC “mainstream” success.

5. SATC Style & Traditions

• Ponchos, Outfits, and Iconic Looks

  • The hosts poke fun at some of the more outlandish (now-iconic) fashion choices.
    • [39:43] Sarita: "Kristen, you literally sometimes look like a schoolgirl. And then other times, you look like Breakfast at Tiffany's."
  • The enduring mystery of ponchos:
    • [42:25] Sarita: "I don't understand covering all the effort you make... it is like a blanket!"

• Sarah Jessica Parker’s Irresistible “Vibration”

  • Sarita: "Her charm... comes from somewhere else. It's a different vibration."
    • Kristin agrees: “And that’s why you can’t really copy it... it’s not wise to just try to copy it. No offense to all the girls on Instagram.”
  • On why the "magic" of the show is more than just clothes or trends.

6. "And just like that..." Catchphrase Origins

• Both realize how often "and just like that" was used in the original series, and that it naturally set up the title of the sequel show.
  • [44:18] Kristin: "Do you ever think about this when you're watching the show? We say ‘and just like that’ almost every episode—and I never realized it!"
  • Both are amused by retroactive recognition: "It just flows so easily. Because when we decided to create And Just Like That, I thought, why are we calling it that?"

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• [06:08] Sarita Choudhury, on early career naivety:
  "At that age, you're just trying to be cool and make sure your hair is doing this when it walks by…"

• [08:25] Sarita Choudhury, on Kristin’s kindness:
  "You took me into a side conference room and… I thought, if she can relate to this, this means I don't have to get comfortable too early. I have time."

• [21:13] Sarita Choudhury, on SATC’s comfort:
  "We're such messed up human beings. The show reflects that. So, it's radical in that it doesn't cover that up. And that is super comforting."

• [27:15] Kristin Davis, on ghosting and dopamine apps:
  "'Oh, then I just ghost them.' And I'm like, wait, wait, what?"

• [39:43] Sarita Choudhury, on Kristin’s style:
  "Kristen, you literally sometimes look like a schoolgirl. And then other times, you look like Breakfast at Tiffany's."

• [44:18] Kristin Davis, realizing the ubiquity of the catchphrase:
  "Do you ever think about this when you're watching the show? We say ‘and just like that’ almost every episode—and I never realized it!"

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [04:05] — Sarita Choudhury joins; reminiscing about early roles and actor nerves
• [07:25] — Off-screen cast camaraderie and joining a legacy show
• [13:18] — Sarita shares her secret summer with SATC as heartbreak recovery
• [16:14] — Reflections on dating apps, anxiety about modern dating
• [21:13] — Why SATC is now comfort food despite its radical beginnings
• [27:15] — Kristin and Sarita react to ghosting and digital disconnection
• [31:53] — Dissecting the bittersweet ending of "The F*ck Buddy" episode
• [39:43] — Picnic scenes, wild fashions, and early SATC making-of stories
• [44:18] — Discovering the ‘and just like that’ catchphrase in every episode

Final Thoughts

The episode blends laughter, nostalgia, and unfiltered musings about the realities—then and now—of sex, love, and friendship in New York and beyond. Kristin Davis and Sarita Choudhury’s chemistry is infectious, combining insider charm with vulnerable storytelling. Their conversation is a reminder of why Sex and the City’s magic endures, and why talking about relationships, heartbreak, and the wild ride of womanhood never truly goes out of style.

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