We have a Big problem…(Oliver Hudson weighs in: S1 E7 “The Monogamists”)

Summary

Podcast Summary: "We have a Big problem… (Oliver Hudson weighs in: S1 E7 “The Monogamists”)”

Introduction

In the seventh episode of the first season of Are You A Charlotte?, released on March 24, 2025, host Kristin Davis delves deep into the complexities of monogamy as depicted in the iconic TV show Sex and the City. Joined by special guest Oliver Hudson, Davis and Hudson rewatch and analyze the episode titled “The Monogamists,” exploring its themes, behind-the-scenes insights, and its enduring relevance in today's conversations about relationships and sexuality.

Revisiting "The Monogamists" Episode

Kristin Davis opens the discussion by expressing her excitement to revisit “The Monogamists,” highlighting its significance in portraying the struggles of maintaining monogamous relationships. She remarks, “[04:21] Kristen Davis: I can't wait to hear,” setting the stage for an in-depth analysis alongside Oliver Hudson.

Behind the Scenes with Oliver Hudson

Oliver Hudson shares his experiences from the set, particularly his interactions with intimacy coordinators. He states, “[06:42] Bowen Yang: Yeah, it was great. I mean, she was okay, how do you feel about putting your hand here and doing this?” Hudson emphasizes the importance of having an additional layer of support during sensitive scenes, ensuring both actors felt comfortable and respected.

Kristin adds, “[06:08] Kristen Davis: And what did you think?” reflecting on her own positive experiences with intimacy coordinators. They discuss the evolution of these roles in the industry, with Davis noting, “[06:42] Kristen Davis: So it's like another set of eyes for you,” underscoring how intimacy coordinators contribute to a safer and more professional environment on set.

Intimacy Coordinators: Evolution and Impact

The conversation shifts to the broader impact of intimacy coordinators. Davis shares a contrasting experience from indie films, “[05:00] Kristen Davis: I have had bad. I mean, it was one of my first times with one.” She highlights the inconsistency in their application across different productions, stressing the need for standardized practices to protect actors and maintain authenticity in performances.

Hudson concurs, “[07:09] Bowen Yang: I was thrilled,” appreciating the structured approach brought by intimacy coordinators in recent productions. Their dialogue reflects a growing awareness and acceptance of these roles, contributing positively to the portrayal of intimate scenes.

Character Development: Charlotte York and Big

Davis and Hudson delve into the intricate relationship between Charlotte York and Big. Davis observes, “[08:56] Kristen Davis: I was with my wife watching it last night, and I was like, I think I might start this now,” highlighting how the characters' dynamics resonate even decades later. They analyze Charlotte’s evolving stance on intimacy, particularly her initial reluctance to engage in certain acts, which Davis attributes to her Southern upbringing and personal boundaries.

Hudson adds, “[10:39] Bowen Yang: Yeah,” agreeing on the depth of character development. They discuss the challenges of portraying genuine emotions within the confines of scripted lines, noting how Big’s actions often speak louder than his words, “[10:43] Bowen Yang: Which Is that was interesting actor, by the way.”

Relationship Dynamics and Monogamy

A significant portion of the discussion centers on the theme of monogamy. Davis questions Big's commitment, “[20:19] Kristen Davis: But I don't blame everybody,” prompting a dialogue on the complexities of trust and communication in relationships. Hudson emphasizes the importance of open conversations, “[22:29] Bowen Yang: No,” advocating for clarity to avoid misunderstandings.

They explore the psychological aspects of commitment, with Hudson reflecting, “[23:08] Bowen Yang: Because we weren't committed,” and Davis insisting, “[23:11] Kristen Davis: Sure, but emotionally, it would really hurt me.” Their exchange underscores the perennial struggle to balance personal freedom with relational expectations.

Sex Scenes: Past vs. Present

Kristin and Hudson revisit the portrayal of sex scenes in the early seasons of Sex and the City, comparing them to contemporary standards. Davis critiques the exaggerated physicality, “[48:05] Kristen Davis: Why were we all doing that? Like, what is that about?” while Hudson acknowledges the shift towards more nuanced and consensual depictions today.

They reflect on how societal attitudes towards sexuality have evolved, with Davis noting, “[09:07] Kristen Davis: Some things have changed, some things have not changed.” This examination highlights the show's pioneering role in normalizing open discussions about female sexuality, a legacy that continues to influence modern media.

Male Perspectives on Relationships

An enlightening segment of the episode explores male perspectives on intimacy and vulnerability. Hudson candidly shares his personal journey, “[15:00] Bowen Yang: Vulnerability with your significant other is even more difficult,” revealing the challenges men face in expressing emotions openly. Davis echoes this sentiment, “[22:35] Kristen Davis: But some men, they just do not want to work on themselves,” emphasizing the importance of mutual effort in sustaining healthy relationships.

Their discussion advocates for empathy and understanding, urging listeners to recognize and bridge the communication gaps that often exist between partners.

Reflections on the Show's Legacy

As the conversation draws to a close, Davis and Hudson reflect on the lasting impact of Sex and the City. Davis marvels, “[12:22] Bowen Yang: Yeah,” acknowledging the show's bravery in addressing taboo topics and its role in empowering women to seek fulfillment in life, sex, and friendships.

Hudson concurs, “[34:12] Bowen Yang: Right,” affirming that the show's legacy lies in its authentic portrayal of women's experiences, paving the way for future narratives that continue to break barriers and foster open dialogue.

Notable Quotes

• Kristin Davis [04:21]: "I can't wait to hear."
• Oliver Hudson [06:42]: "It's like another set of eyes for you."
• Kristin Davis [08:56]: "I was with my wife watching it last night, and I was like, I think I might start this now."
• Oliver Hudson [23:08]: "Because we weren't committed."
• Kristin Davis [48:05]: "Why were we all doing that? Like, what is that about?"
• Oliver Hudson [15:00]: "Vulnerability with your significant other is even more difficult."

Conclusion

In this compelling episode of Are You A Charlotte?, Kristin Davis and Oliver Hudson offer a thoughtful exploration of Sex and the City’s intricate portrayal of monogamy and relationship dynamics. Through their candid discussions, they shed light on the show's groundbreaking approach to intimacy, character development, and the evolving landscape of modern relationships. Listeners gain valuable insights into the enduring relevance of these themes, making this episode a must-listen for fans and newcomers alike.

Transcript

[Kristen Davis]

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[Matt Rogers]

Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang just won Podcast of the Year at this year's iHeart Podcast Awards.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh wow, you're kidding. Stop it.

[Matt Rogers]

Lady Gaga will take home the Innovator award at Monday's iHeartradio Music Awards. Now these iHeart Award winners are teaming up on a brand new episode of Las Culturistas.

[Kristen Davis]

Thank you so much for having me here, but please, please, please don't make me get angry about anything in public.

[Matt Rogers]

Just open the free iHeartRadio app, search Las Cult US and listen now.

[John]

My husband cheated on me with two women. He wants to stay together because he has cancer. Should I stay?

[Bowen Yang]

Sam that has to be the craziest story in ok Storytime Podcast history.

[John]

Well, John, that's because it's dump of week and this user writes, last week we had an attempted break in. I asked my husband, who was supposed to be at his mom's, to come over and change the locks, but his mom told me he wasn't with her and it took me less than an hour to find the first two women he was cheating on me with. Did she leave him? Well, to find out how this story ends, follow the okay, Story Time podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.

[Mary Kay McBrayer]

I'm Mary Kay McBrayer, host of the podcast the Greatest True Crime Stories Ever Told. This season explores women from the 19th century to now. Women who were murderers and scammers, but also women who were photojournalists, lawyers, writers, and more. This podcast tells more than just the brutal, gory details of horrific acts I delve into the good, the bad, the difficult, and all the nuance I can find because these are the stories that we need to know to understand the intersection of society, justice, and the fascinating workings of the human psyche. Join me every week as I tell some of the most enthralling true crime stories about women who are not just victims, but heroes or villains, or often somewhere in between. Listen to the greatest true crime stories ever told on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Bowen Yang]

My name is Brendan Patrick Hughes, host of Divine Intervention. This is a story about radical nuns in combat boots and wild haired priests trading blows with J. Edgar Hoover in a hell bent effort to sabotage a war.

[Kristen Davis]

J. Edgar Hoover was furious. He was out of his mind. And he wanted to bring the Catholic left to its knees.

[Bowen Yang]

Listen to DIV Intervention on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Kristen Davis]

Hi, I'm Kristen Davis and I want to know, are you a Charlotte? This is very exciting because I have the Oliver Hudson here with me.

[Bowen Yang]

The is important to put in front of my name. That's right.

[Kristen Davis]

Thank you for coming. It's so exciting, so exciting to be here. We're gonna. We rewatched 107, which is called the Monogamous. And I'm so happy that you're here because you are a straight guy who's been married a long time and you can shed some light. Okay.

[Bowen Yang]

I can.

[Kristen Davis]

We need some help understanding.

[Bowen Yang]

18 years.

[Kristen Davis]

Impressive.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. Together. 23 or 24.

[Kristen Davis]

Unbelievable.

[Bowen Yang]

Crazy.

[Kristen Davis]

So I cannot wait to hear.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Kristen Davis]

But I also want to just say in case our viewers might not necessarily know. Viewers. Listeners, whichever we call them.

[Bowen Yang]

Yes.

[Kristen Davis]

You were on. And just like that.

[Bowen Yang]

I was.

[Kristen Davis]

And so part of the reason that I love Oliver and want him to be here is because he played a very, very cool character on. And just like that, he had. I was not.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Kristen Davis]

I know.

[Bowen Yang]

I didn't get to work with you.

[Kristen Davis]

Kind of glad and kind of nice.

[Bowen Yang]

I know, I know.

[Kristen Davis]

You know, it was my first experience.

[Bowen Yang]

With an intimacy coordinator.

[Kristen Davis]

No way.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Kristen Davis]

And what did you think?

[Bowen Yang]

I loved it. Honestly, I really did.

[Kristen Davis]

I really like our intimacy coordinator.

[Bowen Yang]

Things really easy.

[Kristen Davis]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

And really great.

[Kristen Davis]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

And you know, I was game for anything.

[Kristen Davis]

Of course you were.

[Bowen Yang]

You just tell me what to do, you know, because I. I'm the guest star here. Whatever you're comfortable with, I'm comfortable.

[Kristen Davis]

Nice, nice, nice.

[Bowen Yang]

But it was. It was great. I never done that before. I've had a lot of sex scenes in my life where it's kind of just all right. Just go wacky.

[Kristen Davis]

Right. How it used to be.

[Bowen Yang]

It's all worked out. But to have it mapped out and planned out just makes sense.

[Kristen Davis]

Well, because there were three of you.

[Bowen Yang]

There were three of us.

[Kristen Davis]

It kind of needed to be.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, yeah.

[Kristen Davis]

And it's funny because the next episode is about threesomes in the original series. Sex of the City, the original season yeah. So what a weird coincidence. And it's still being played out. Threesomes, a very interesting thing, but ours is not about that. But anyway, intimacy coordinators. I've had good and bad since this new dawning of the intimacy coordinator.

[Bowen Yang]

You've had bad?

[Kristen Davis]

I have had bad. I mean, it was one of my first times with one. And I think that's part of it is, like, you just. For us, who've been around a long time, we. It was just. They'd say, which little tiny thing would you like to wear? And then, you know, get in bed and, you know, let's get rid of the extra crew. And that was about it, you know. And hopefully you were in tune with your co star. That's what it was about. And the director, but mostly your co star, like an agreement. And like, you feel comfortable and kind of like, I think, caring about the other one for both sides, men and women. Right. So it was about that. But I did this indie, and it was a very, very chaotic set. I'm not gonna say what it was. I mean, a set where you couldn't trust anything going, right? Or properly, professionally or whatever. And this woman who was the intimacy coordinator had been a dancer, so she would be like, she. I was working with another actor who I love very much, who's also a vet and totally trustworthy. Like, so protective and amazing. And she would say, okay, so you're gonna kiss three, four, and then you're gonna. We were like, what? Like what?

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, she took all the spontaneity out of it as, like.

[Kristen Davis]

Yeah. And listen, I wanted to kiss this person. No, no, no. No offense to anyone who might be listening, but, I mean, I was. You. You can go, right?

[Bowen Yang]

Like, I got.

[Kristen Davis]

I have this Totally, totally. But the thing. That was great. And he also was super, you know, professional and whatnot, and it all worked out. But the thing that we have learned with. And just like that, because we have a lovely intimacy coordinator, it's more about, like, she'll say, what are you worried about? What are you nervous about? And I'll watch the monitors and make sure that's not happening. So it's like another set of eyes for you.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, it was great. I mean, she was okay, how do you feel about putting your hand here and doing this? And. And, you know, I. I made a move and Sada was, like, not cool with it. You know, totally sweet. But it was sort of triggered them, and I was like, oh, this is. This is okay, whatever. That's when I became completely submissive, like a Dog. I was on my back with my feet and hands up.

[Kristen Davis]

I was thrilled.

[Bowen Yang]

I'll do whatever. You just tell me what to do.

[Kristen Davis]

I think that was the right way to go. I think that was the right way to go. Also. Michael Patrick has a lot of ideas.

[Bowen Yang]

Yes.

[Kristen Davis]

And, you know, you gotta roll with whatever it is. Do what? I mean, I've learned. I've learned my lessons over the years. Do not object. And just find a way that you're gonna be comfortable. So, anyway, it can be great. But back in this day, we didn't have such things.

[Bowen Yang]

No, we did not.

[Kristen Davis]

No, we did not. And the thing that I really love, I mean, there's so many amazing things. And as we were saying earlier, I need to know, did you watch this back in the day? Like, what's your history with the show?

[Bowen Yang]

So my history with the show is that everyone talked about it. It was the show to watch at the time. You know, it was a show for women, honestly. And, you know, my friend Alex actually was obsessed with the show.

[Kristen Davis]

Okay.

[Bowen Yang]

And we were like, what? This is not your demographic. I don't understand. Right.

[Dylan Mulvaney]

But this is.

[Kristen Davis]

He was ahead of his time.

[Bowen Yang]

I was. And, you know, so I never really got into watching the show. Later on, I watched a couple, but it was not. It was not something that I got into now. At the time, I was not as much as into TV as I am now.

[Kristen Davis]

Okay. You know, it was a different time.

[Bowen Yang]

It was a different time. It was waiting every week to watch.

[Kristen Davis]

A television show every week. You had to be there when it was happening.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Kristen Davis]

Yeah. Nine o'clock, Sunday night.

[Bowen Yang]

I will say, in watching this episode last night, first of all, so far ahead of its time, as far as how it was written, you know, how comfortable everyone was in saying those things and how it's just a pure reflection that we haven't ever seen before with four women who are being intimate with each other and saying that's what they want to say. We had never really seen anything like that.

[Kristen Davis]

I know it's funny to think about, because it's now, I feel like. And that's one of the things that I love about talking about it now is to see what's changed and what hasn't. Because some things have changed, some things have not changed.

[Bowen Yang]

Right.

[Kristen Davis]

And one thing that I do think has changed is that people talk much more freely about sex and relationships.

[Bowen Yang]

Yes.

[Kristen Davis]

And I think partly because of social media, we have ways to talk about it. And also, like, people go on red carpets, like, pretty much naked now, you know, and this was not the case back then. No, no, not at all.

[Bowen Yang]

Not at all. So it was that. And. And it was so good.

[Kristen Davis]

Thank you.

[Bowen Yang]

It's so good. I was with my wife watching it last night, and I was like, I think I might start this now. You know, this many years, you know, ahead of time, you know, it was just. It's the. It's good. The character is so on point, and it's only seven episodes in, so it can only get better and better.

[Kristen Davis]

I know for sure it gets better because in my mind, as I was telling you, I. I always thought that the first season was just, like, kind of a wash. Like, I just thought it was a mess. We didn't know what we were doing. We were all over the place. I remember Darren saying to us at different times, like, you guys have to be really funny. Like, a really funny. He would, like, get his hands all agitated, and we'd be like, but are you. Is there more jokes? Or you just want us to make.

[Bowen Yang]

What's there?

[Kristen Davis]

Like, what do you mean? And then sometimes he'd come down from upstairs. We were shooting a Silver cup in New York at the time. He'd come down and he'd be like, everyone has to be sexier. You have to be sexier. And I'd be like, me, Me? Are you sure? Cause I don't. Now it gets. Well, I mean, Charlotte does some stuff that literally I had not remembered. Like, I'm like, what?

[Bowen Yang]

What?

[Kristen Davis]

What? What, what? Cause they were trying to figure her out, right? And so, like, on the one hand, she's saying, I want to get married. I want to get married. But on the other hand, she's doing a lot of she pretty game. Like, more so than I remember, you know?

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Kristen Davis]

It's interesting.

[Bowen Yang]

Did your guys. Was it immediate, your chemistry?

[Kristen Davis]

Yeah, we never even read together. We didn't have a chemistry read or anything.

[Bowen Yang]

But you guys got together. It was like, bang.

[Kristen Davis]

Yeah, it just came out. It was pretty much bang. And it was also. I think it was a couple things. Number one, everyone was so excited. Like, it was such an odd and unusual thing at the time. Like, I remember when I had gotten. Because I knew Darren from Melrose Place, and he had sent me the script, and I' said this many times. Sorry for anyone. I'm repeating it. He sent me the script when Sarah Jessica had been unsure for Carrie, and I was like, I can't pull Carrie off. Because Carrie was much more like Candice Bushnell, the original columnist.

[Bowen Yang]

Right.

[Kristen Davis]

A little bolder, smoked, swore a lot Very, like, more like Samantha in a certain way. And I very clearly was like, no, no, no. I need to be that other one, that Charlotte, one that doesn't do a lot. I need to be her because she's more. I relate to her because I grew up in the south. So I think that really informed Charlotte, even though she's not techn. Frankly, Southern. But we. It was so crazy to think of four women without lead men. Like, Big was present, but it wasn't clear that he was gonna be this, you know, really, really huge through line for her. It was just maybe gonna be a season or, you know, who knows, right? Like, they. They had to kind of make that up once they leapt off in the way that we did. So it was really just. Just the four of us and Sarah Jessica, and there was nothing like it at all. All.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Kristen Davis]

And the idea that four women could lead a show that wasn't a soap opera. Like, yes, it was about relationships and sex, but it was also funny and it was also shocking and brave in a way. Brash and brave, you know, back then.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Kristen Davis]

That part was so thrilling that I think all of us were just like, you know, we didn't even know each other at all. So when I talk to each. Everyone, you know, they tell me stuff that I didn't know about their beginning on the show, which is so interesting.

[Bowen Yang]

No, I know. Even watching it, just talking about the time that it was made, when the guy that you were with is trying to push you down to, like, give him a blowjack.

[Kristen Davis]

Ew. Right?

[Bowen Yang]

I mean, in 1990, what, six or seven, you know, it was funny, and it was sort of strangely relatable, I think.

[Kristen Davis]

Was it?

[Bowen Yang]

Well, not to me. I was a young. I was a young man. But I'm saying you can't do that now, right? In the context and the tone that it was done then, right. It would be like, whoa, wait a minute. You did find your power, and you're, like, gone.

[Kristen Davis]

Right. But it happens a lot.

[Bowen Yang]

The minute he did it in the first scene, I'm like, oh, well, she's gone.

[Kristen Davis]

Right?

[Bowen Yang]

What does she say?

[Kristen Davis]

I know, right? I'm like, oh, my God.

[Bowen Yang]

I don't know. And then it's like, I love you. I love her. There was like, a. You know.

[Kristen Davis]

Right. But I also remember. And of course, this is. I'm gonna regret this. But I mean, it's not the first time that it had happened to me.

[Bowen Yang]

No, of course.

[Kristen Davis]

You know what I'm saying?

[Bowen Yang]

100%.

[Kristen Davis]

But it's also crazy to Think about.

[Bowen Yang]

The beauty of it is. But you're touching upon, you know, the relatability of what women are deal with.

[Kristen Davis]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

On a daily basis.

[Kristen Davis]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

You know what I mean? That's the relatable part.

[Kristen Davis]

Yes.

[Bowen Yang]

And. And even for guys, it's shameful relatability potentially. Right.

[Kristen Davis]

So let me just say from a perspective of, of understanding the societal, you know, pressures and whatever. I don't think anyone was telling you guys that that was not cool.

[Bowen Yang]

No, of course not.

[Kristen Davis]

So I don't blame everybody.

[Bowen Yang]

You kind of have to. I don't know.

[Kristen Davis]

I mean, what do you think?

[Bowen Yang]

I would honestly. And I've had my share of women. I have never in my life even come close to doing anything like that because it's not my nature. There's a respect there, I guess. Or, or it's like it's almost leaves me speechless. It's beyond the way I can even think.

[Kristen Davis]

Because wouldn't you just want someone to be doing that? It's not exciting to me.

[Bowen Yang]

That's my sex life. Even right now with my wife. You know, by the way, 25 years together, sex is still like unbelievably incredible. Wow. It goes from like 18 times a day when you're young, but it gets deeper and deeper and deeper as you get older. And once I think especially for the man. And I've done a lot of work on myself, I've been to the Hoffman Institute to deal with my own. I mean I've done some stuff. Vulnerability for men just generally is difficult.

[Kristen Davis]

Right.

[Bowen Yang]

Vulnerability with your significant other is even more difficult to be able to sort of even say the nice things. And for me it was hard to even look at Aaron and say I just want to tell you right now unsolicited that I love you. And like I'm so just lucky that you're in my life. To say something like that makes me want to like hide. That's the feeling of like, oh my God. It's cringe worthy for me because it's so vulnerable.

[Kristen Davis]

Right.

[Bowen Yang]

I did a lot of work on myself with that. I was able to be more open and it changed the game for our life.

[Kristen Davis]

Changed the game. Amazing.

[Bowen Yang]

Because what happens is for men, a little note to men is we get when we are open and vulnerable like that, there's a safety that comes from her, from Aaron, let's just say now, which allows her to be more open and connected with sex.

[Kristen Davis]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

It's been a million years for sure.

[Kristen Davis]

That's amazing.

[Bowen Yang]

So new doors are open not just from like A dirty standpoint, which is always fun, but just from a intimacy, intimate, connected place where we would have sex and be like, oh, my God. Like, what is that?

[Kristen Davis]

That's amazing. That's the best kind.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, it really is. Yeah, it really, really, really is. Oh, yeah, yeah. So I went off on a bit of.

[Kristen Davis]

I know. But it's so good because, like, one of the things I want to ask you about is a male perspective. Because in this episode, which is super interesting to look back on because Charlotte was always pro Big. But I'm looking back on this early season and being like, ew, Ew. Because Carrie is very connected and very open. We start at the beginning of the episode and she's saying, like, you know, we're in the middle of New York, 7 million people, and it's that great shot where, you know, real New Yorkers are walking in front of the camera. It's so cool. And it looks so 70s now to our eyes. Now in 2025, right.

[Bowen Yang]

The clothes.

[Kristen Davis]

Right. All of the cars, everything.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Kristen Davis]

So they're, like, so united within this crowd. And she's obviously over the moon into it, and we assume he is too. And they're spending all their time together to the point where she hasn't seen the girlfriends at all. And we think she's fallen off the cliff or whatever. And then cut to, he says he has a work dinner. And. Yes. And we go out to dinner with her because she says, oh, yeah, Big has a work dinner tonight. A work thing tonight. You know, let's go out to dinner. We go out to dinner and we see him in the corner having dinner with another woman.

[Bowen Yang]

Which.

[Kristen Davis]

Which I'm just like, he should have been out then, like, oh, what the heck? Like, just because to me, I would feel that they were not in sync. That if I was in that relationship and I thought we were over the moon, not even talking to our friends, level of connected. And then he's gone out with another woman. What the heck? Boo. Out the door, I guess. What do you think?

[Bowen Yang]

Well, so here's the show. Specifically. Yes, he said he had a work dinner. So.

[Kristen Davis]

Right. Yeah. A work thing. I think dinner. Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

Now, there's a lie, a white lie there. Okay, Take that away just for a second.

[Kristen Davis]

Okay.

[Bowen Yang]

Later on in the ep. Not later on, but I love the way that that scene was handled. And it's funny you're asking me about this because I took note of it where he wasn't caught. He didn't play it like he was caught.

[Kristen Davis]

That's true.

[Bowen Yang]

Which Is that was interesting actor, by the way.

[Kristen Davis]

Yeah, but.

[Bowen Yang]

But he didn't play it like he was.

[Kristen Davis]

That's a good point. No, he didn't.

[Bowen Yang]

He's like, oh, hey, maybe a little uncomfortable, but hey, this is Bonnie or whatever her name is.

[Kristen Davis]

Ew.

[Bowen Yang]

But. And I just had this conversation with a friend. In real life, was there an established. There was not situation? And there wasn't. And he said it where it's like, are we boyfriend, girlfriend, Are we committed?

[Kristen Davis]

Right? There's not.

[Bowen Yang]

And so you can't just assume that one is committed and the other isn't. Even if you're getting the committed vibes, you still have to the conversation for.

[Kristen Davis]

Sure, but you have to just talk emotionally. Yes, I agree with you. But emotionally, it would really hurt me to think that we were not on the same level. Like when she goes, oh, I didn't realize I was in these feelings by myself. Like that's an upsetting feeling.

[Bowen Yang]

Sure. But then you have to take into account the reasons why he might not be.

[Kristen Davis]

Why, why might he not be?

[Bowen Yang]

Well, there could be a psychological thing. There could be something like he's been burned before, he's been hurt before, his parents have divorced. He's a non. He's a non committal. He's feeling love.

[Kristen Davis]

Let me ask you this.

[Bowen Yang]

He's feeling love, but is deflecting with other women.

[Kristen Davis]

Okay, okay, okay. But let's say that those. Okay. He's a grownup, right? He's not 25. He's not 30. He's a grownup. Okay? So she is obviously open to this in a way that he seems like he might not be. It's unclear. It's unclear, right? Like when I'm watching it back, I'm thinking to myself, Big is sending her so many mixed messages, like kind of from the get go, you know, and she just hangs in and, you know, tries to figure it out. And she goes out with Miranda and she's overthinking it, but like, I completely relate to that. She's like, maybe, you know when he said, I miss you, babe. Cause then he calls her from his silly car phone, which is so adorable. And he says, like, I missed you, babe. This is right after she's seen him on the date with the other woman. Like that's very mixed messages and confusing.

[Bowen Yang]

Is it manipulative?

[Kristen Davis]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

But maybe he's. Do you think he really missed her? Do you think?

[Kristen Davis]

Yes, I do. But then I'm like, why'd you go on that date and why didn't you tell Her. But this is my question that I did.

[Bowen Yang]

Because we weren't committed. I know, but we never had the conversation. Like, I'm. How do I know what. I don't know what you're doing. You know, maybe I have a fear that, you know, you're doing other things, too. So I'm gonna do these things.

[Kristen Davis]

Let me ask you this. Psychology and the psycho. But let me ask you about the psychology of it. Okay.

[Bowen Yang]

Because you don't know what.

[Kristen Davis]

I get it. I get it. And listen, I am, like, number one, annoyingly understanding of people's psychology, but at a certain point, you cannot do their work for them. And so you need to know, are they going to do any work on this or are they not sure? And is this just the way it's gonna be?

[Bowen Yang]

Well, yes, once you get deeper into a relationship, yeah. But in the beginning stages, what we're watching is still a feel out process. Meaning, yes, they're together and they're feeling things. But it's stated in the show. We. We're not. We never had that conversation. You know, that's true.

[Kristen Davis]

But if you spent, like, eight days. I believe she said she hadn't seen us in eight days with the friends. If you spent eight days holed up with a woman in your single past, would you not kind of feel like that was important?

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, God. That just depends so much on the experience, what those eight days are.

[Kristen Davis]

What if it was amazing for her? She feels it's amazing.

[Bowen Yang]

Here's the thing. I would definitely. When you're going down the path and you're starting to feel things and you're having some jealousies, or you're like, where are we? I would never assume that that other person is right on the same page, even if they're showing it, because we don't know why they're showing. I would rather have the conversation of, hey, I'm feeling you. I don't want to be with anyone else. I'm not putting any pressure on you, but I am at this. I'm in this position now where I don't want to be with you if you are seeing other people. So we need to have this conversation.

[Kristen Davis]

Right. But I don't feel like men hardly ever bring that conversation up.

[Bowen Yang]

No. No. I mean, I guess not. Right? Right.

[Kristen Davis]

No, they just wait for us. It's like a lot of pressure.

[Bowen Yang]

Of course, Jesse. I wait. I wait, too. You know, I mean, I've had three women in my life who I've loved. My high school sweetheart.

[Kristen Davis]

Oh.

[Bowen Yang]

Who I still have so much Love for my girlfriend Vanessa for three years and then my wife. And I've never dated anyone else. Meaning like two weeks, two months, six months. Never. It was either, wow, let's have a good time, or we're. I'm feeling something. And it was hard for me to feel something because I was very particular.

[Kristen Davis]

Okay. But I'm so glad it worked out.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, it did. But all three.

[Kristen Davis]

All three were amazing.

[Bowen Yang]

I never said I love you first. I made them say it because I was too scared.

[Kristen Davis]

Men folk.

[Bowen Yang]

I was too scared. I didn't want to get rejected. I was too worried.

[Kristen Davis]

Let me ask you.

[Bowen Yang]

I would say stuff like this, like, you know you love me, right? And I was like, what do you mean? I'm like, you love me? And they're like, I love you. And like, oh, good. I love you.

[Kristen Davis]

So not only would you not say it first, you would make them say it first.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. Wow.

[Kristen Davis]

Well, good for them. Okay, good for them.

[Bowen Yang]

I was too scared.

[Kristen Davis]

But that's kind of adorable.

[Bowen Yang]

I used adorable as a way to.

[Kristen Davis]

Sort of get what you wanted or needed.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. Or needed. Right. Because I wanted to say it, but I didn't want to say it. And being. And like, oh, that's so cute. Cute. Thank you. And then I'm gone.

[Joe Locke]

It's tax season, and by now. I know we're all a bit tired of numbers, but here's an important one you need to hear. $16.5 billion. That's how much money in refunds the IRS flagged for possible identity fraud last year. Here's another 20%. That's the overall increase in identity theft related to tax fraud in 2024 alone. But it's not all grim news. Here's a good number. 100 million. That's how many data points Lifelock monitors every second. If your identity is stolen, LifeLock's US based restoration specialists will fix it, backed by another good number, the million dollar protection plan. In fact, restoration is guaranteed or your money back. Don't face identity theft and financial losses alone. There's strength in numbers with Lifelock Identity theft protection for tax season and beyond. Join now and save up to 40% your first year. Call 1-800-LIFELOCK and use promo code iheart or go to lifelock.com iheart for 40% off terms apply.

[Matt Rogers]

Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang just won Podcast of the Year at this year's iHeart Podcast Awards.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, wow. You're kidding. Stop it.

[Matt Rogers]

Lady Gaga will take home the Innovator award at Money Day's iHeartradio Music Awards. Now these iHeart Award winners are teaming up on a brand new episode of Las Culturistas.

[Kristen Davis]

Thank you so much for having me here, but please, please, please don't make me get angry about anything in public.

[Matt Rogers]

Just open the free iHeartRadio app, search Las Culturistas and listen. Now.

[Dylan Mulvaney]

Is this a good time? It's me, Dylan Mulvaney and my dear friend Joe Locke from Heartstopper. And Agatha all along is my very first guest on my brand new podcast, the Dylan Hour. It's musical mayhem and it is going to be so much fun.

[Kristen Davis]

I like a man.

[Dylan Mulvaney]

You like a man. What do I like, Joe?

[Kristen Davis]

You like a man too.

[Dylan Mulvaney]

We often there's quite similar. There's some cross pollination happening in here.

[Kristen Davis]

Not like.

[Bowen Yang]

No.

[Kristen Davis]

Have we? No.

[Dylan Mulvaney]

No, not yet. Never say never. I cannot wait for all you girls gays and they's to join me on this extremely special pink confection of a podcast. There is so much darkness in this world and what I think we could all use more of is a little joy. Listen to the Dylan hour on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to your podcasts. Love ya.

[John]

My husband cheated on me with two women. He wants to stay together because he has cancer. Should I stay?

[Bowen Yang]

Hey Sam, that has to be the craziest story in OK Storytime podcast history.

[John]

Well, John, that's because it's dumping week and this user writes, my partner told me when we first got together that he has cancer. He's currently living with his mom while he is in recovery so that it takes the pressure off me caring for both him and her baby until he's well enough to move into our home with us.

[Bowen Yang]

Good so far?

[John]

Well, last week we had attempted break in. I asked my husband, who was supposed to be at his mom's, to come over and change locks, but he wouldn't. Then his mom told me he wasn't with her. I went to Facebook and it took me less than an hour to find the first two women he was cheating on me.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh. What else is he lying about?

[John]

Well, one thing my paranoia just wouldn't let up was about the cancer and his treatments. I asked his mom about it who told me he doesn't have cancer. She also informed me he was in rehab, not the hospital. He suffered from addiction and was trying to recover for me and our baby. Did she leave him? Well, to find out how the story ends, listen and follow the OK Storytime podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Matt Rogers]

Are your ears bored?

[Kristen Davis]

Yeah. Are you looking for a new podcast that will make you laugh, learn and say que? Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Then tune in to locatora radio season 10 today.

[Kristen Davis]

Okay. I'm Diosa. I'm Mala, the host of Locatora Radio, a radiophonic novella, which is just a.

[Matt Rogers]

Very extra way of saying a podcast. We're launching this season with a miniseries, totally nostalgic, a four part series about the Latinos who shaped pop culture in the early 2000s.

[Kristen Davis]

It's Lala checking in with all things Y2K 2000s. My favorite memory, honestly, was us having our own media platforms like Mundos and MTV Tres. You could turn on the TV, you see Thalia, you see JLo, Nina Sky, Evie Queen. All the girlies doing their things. All of the beauty reflected right back at us. It was everything. Tune in to locatora radio season 10.

[Matt Rogers]

Now that's what I call a podcast. Listen to Locatora Radio Season 10 on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Kristen Davis]

So let me ask you this about Big, because you're a guy and maybe you understand this better than me because I look back on it and again, I think at the time these thoughts never entered my mind. I was pro Big. And I just think that's. Cause we were used to this stuff. Do you know what I mean? Like, aloof, confusing. Men were completely normal, you know, and we just had to figure out how to be with it. Right? Like we had to adjust, you know, which is what I see Carrie doing. Right.

[Bowen Yang]

Like, but she does decide to go out with him again.

[Kristen Davis]

Oh. As we know, she will do that for years.

[Bowen Yang]

Yes. But I also think that if he had a wife or if he was in a real committed relationship with someone else, you know, then she would never do that.

[Kristen Davis]

No, no, no. It's confusing. It's not clearly. No. Right. Cause like, even the thing that I think is so interesting, performance wise, is so. And obviously we're skipping over many things, but the thing that it's interesting to look at the beginning, then he calls her, then she's spinning around, trying to make sense of what he said. Then she goes to this party with Justin Theroux, who we will get to in a second. And then she says to him, you know, come meet. He's putting his arms around me. Like she does her own, kind of like, I'm gonna play my game back. Right. Which I totally understand. And then he does come, but they're at the wrong place. She's in the front. Or she thinks she's in the front. He thinks he's in the front. Which is so beautifully written.

[Bowen Yang]

Right.

[Kristen Davis]

And then he's like, I was here. What do you want? Which is a lot. Like the last episode, too, which we didn't make you rewatch. But he waits in front of the bar, and she thinks he's not there. Like, they have a lot of these kind of missed things, which I think is so real to life, you know? Like, it's so close and everyone's trying, but it's. You're so confused. Like, did they try? Did they not try? Did they try? Did they not try? Am I trying? Am I doing all the work? You know, it's confusing, but beautifully written. So he comes and he's like, I was over here waiting in the dark. She's like, I'm over here. And then she basically looks at him with those eyes, which I'm just like, how could anyone say no to her? Right? And she says, I just want to stand still with you. And then he kind of doesn't answer, but then he puts his arm around her and they look up at the moon. So his. His actions often are the thing that saved the day, whereas he doesn't always say what she wants him to say. He's not forthcoming in a communicative way.

[Bowen Yang]

Right.

[Kristen Davis]

But his actions kind of say, I want to be here.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. Which is very male.

[Kristen Davis]

Right.

[Bowen Yang]

You know?

[Kristen Davis]

Right. Do you read into that? Like, he wishes he could say more, probably. And he's scared. Or this is different for him.

[Bowen Yang]

Or.

[Cheekies]

I mean, what?

[Bowen Yang]

Probably different for him. This is how I would analyze that without knowing a lot, honestly.

[Kristen Davis]

Right. I mean, none of us know a lot. This is the thing. When you're watching. He's like an enigma. He's just a walking enigma. A charming enigma.

[Bowen Yang]

Charming. And you, I guess you wonder, is he doing the same thing with other women?

[Kristen Davis]

Oh, I'm pretty sure that he is, because they go to that party, which I totally left out, where like, this woman comes up and kisses him and says, where's my passport? And then he introduces Carrie to another friend who says, oh, you must be Nicole or whatever it is. And she's like, no. You know, I'm just like, run.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a lot of now. Now that you're bringing back up. There's like a million of them. We're like, how many women did you sleep with? Or how many women are you or.

[Kristen Davis]

Are you sleeping with now? Yeah, that's the question.

[Bowen Yang]

Well, the other thing too is, you know, passport. That means they're flying out of the country.

[Kristen Davis]

Exactly. So this is my friend that I traveled with, and she goes internationally, I assume. I mean, it's just, like, irritating.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, but when there's a spark and there's something there, you want to follow through with it because you are not. He is not committed to you officially.

[Cheekies]

Yes.

[Bowen Yang]

He's dating other women. There's nothing wrong with that. From a legal standpoint. There's nothing.

[Kristen Davis]

I know. It's just emotionally hard. I understand.

[Bowen Yang]

No, I'm talking from a practical standpoint.

[Kristen Davis]

A practical standpoint. Okay.

[Bowen Yang]

He is not. Listen, he is not.

[Kristen Davis]

You mean he's not breaking any agreements?

[Bowen Yang]

He's not.

[Kristen Davis]

Again, it. I get it. It just feels emotionally, like, scary.

[Bowen Yang]

Well, that's why it's like, look, I like you. I know that you've got a passport girl. You've got this other girl. You got this. I want to continue this, but I can't. If this is kind of the life that you're living and want to continue to living, if you want to focus on me and commit to that, then I'm down. Otherwise, like. Right.

[Kristen Davis]

But she doesn't really say that. And I mean, that is the other interesting part is I look at her, Carrie, and you know, I mean, you. I don't know how much this is me reading into it, because, of course, I know Candace and I know the book and the. You know, she had been quite the party girl herself, you know, previously. Right. And then I do think it's a bit of a change for her. Right. And he had been quite Big. Is. Is still, I guess, quite the big man about town. Yeah, Right. And he was based on a real person who was quite the man about town. And then they're kind of, in some ways, doing this, what will turn out to be a very long dance towards being monogamous with each other. But it takes a long time. No. Yes. It's also the show. Right, sure.

[Bowen Yang]

You gotta play it out. Right.

[Kristen Davis]

And also, you know, it was easy. What would we do? Exactly.

[Bowen Yang]

Moonlight was amazing. And then they actually sleep together. And like, ah, the air's out of the balloon.

[Kristen Davis]

Right, right, right, right, right.

[Bowen Yang]

You put Big and her together, you're kind of like. No. I mean, yes, but.

[Kristen Davis]

No, I know, but that's what. It's so hard to write that dance over time. And the fact that they did is kind of amazing.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Kristen Davis]

And when I look back, I mean, yes, on some level, even just how they started, because they would Just see each other at bars and parties and whatever and have that spark and then. But not really do anything. And I'd forgotten all of that. Like, they really were so skillful in a way that I didn't realize at the time. But then also, I also look back and I think, oh my gosh, he's so withholding. Even in the beginning, do you mean.

[Bowen Yang]

Yes, of course.

[Kristen Davis]

She hangs in there, God love her.

[Bowen Yang]

But that's what makes it great. And love is irrational. Love is weird. Like you cannot plan it. You can't do anything. Like you could. You. You have these feelings that you may not want, but you do. So what do you do with them? You just throw them away?

[Kristen Davis]

Or do you see this is the big question now? Because I feel like now in social media, everyone's like, you know, control this, don't do this. That person's the narcissist. Don't do that. You know, like, there's a lot of efforts that. Yes, but can you really control these things? I don't know.

[Bowen Yang]

Of course not.

[Kristen Davis]

Okay.

[Bowen Yang]

It's not possible.

[Kristen Davis]

Right.

[Bowen Yang]

You know, there's always sacrifice. You're always gonna be living with something.

[Mary Kay McBrayer]

Right.

[Bowen Yang]

You know, I mean, in order to have a healthy long term relationship, you're gonna have to go through some real.

[Kristen Davis]

Right.

[Bowen Yang]

And it's work.

[Kristen Davis]

And you have to work on yourself.

[Bowen Yang]

Of course, it's both.

[Kristen Davis]

Right. But some men, they just do not want to work on themselves.

[Bowen Yang]

I know, it's hard. It's hard.

[Kristen Davis]

It is hard. No joke. No joke is hard. But it is interesting. It is interesting because I don't think. I mean, I have friends in relationships that are really good that I admire so much. And then I also have friends who aren't in relationships and who are just like, confounded. And I'm just like, I don't know. Yeah, I don't know.

[Bowen Yang]

I guess it's just, you know, I have friends, you know. Well, we're also at the. At an age.

[Dylan Mulvaney]

Yes.

[Bowen Yang]

Where it's not easy.

[Kristen Davis]

No.

[Bowen Yang]

You know, it's like, oh, I want love in my life. I don't want to die alone. But here's. But here's who I. Here's who I am now. And I have so much more to. So much to give.

[Kristen Davis]

Right.

[Bowen Yang]

But now I have to match it up with a dude who's like, on my left window. It's a small window.

[Kristen Davis]

It's a small window.

[Bowen Yang]

It is.

[Kristen Davis]

I know not to scare anyone out there, but it does get increasingly challenging to fit someone into the parameters.

[Bowen Yang]

I think you just have to, you know, hope for it, manifest it in one way or another, and then be grateful for everything else in your life.

[Kristen Davis]

Absolutely. Absolutely.

[Bowen Yang]

And, you know, understand that you cannot force these things. Right. And. And it's almost like I think the.

[Kristen Davis]

Dating apps gave the illusion that you could force them.

[Bowen Yang]

Yes, yes, yes. And some people, I mean, I have.

[Kristen Davis]

Friends that it's worked out for. Married 100, you know.

[Cheekies]

Totally.

[Kristen Davis]

Which brings me to Justin Theroux.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Kristen Davis]

So Justin Theroux is one of the. I think. And this is talking from the beginning of Sex and the city in 1997 to current and just like that times, we've had two actors play two different characters the show, which is pretty cool, and Justin's one of them. And this first one is such a shock. Like, I only vaguely remembered. I mean, I think Sarah Jessica and Matthew were friends with Justin from New York. Ness. You know, I didn't know him. You know, I don't think I was there when they filmed. And then I do remember when he comes. He comes back, he changes his facial hair, and he plays a writer. It's very different. And I think it might have been the last season of Sex and the City, but here he plays a kind of. Oh, my gosh.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Kristen Davis]

Frightening character that we've all probably met, which is, like, the writer of the moment, the cool dude. And at one point, she says something to him like, you know. Oh, you know, he's talking about all the great things that come from having a New York Times bestselling book. And she goes, oh, acting like an. And everyone thinking that you're great. And he's like, yeah, I love you.

[Bowen Yang]

That's what he said.

[Kristen Davis]

Come home with me. Like, it's so funny. It's so funny. And he's so good at playing this, like, kind of charming and kind of smarmy guy.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Kristen Davis]

And then later, he plays someone just fully opposite, but also still a writer, I think, which is also interesting.

[Bowen Yang]

He's just. He's great. He.

[Kristen Davis]

Justin can do a lot.

[Bowen Yang]

Well, I was telling you before we, you know, got on the air, he was. He's doing a movie, a TV show with my sister.

[Kristen Davis]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. A. Yep.

[Bowen Yang]

Called Running. Running Point.

[Kristen Davis]

I can't wait to watch it. I haven't seen it yet. I did not realize he was on there.

[Bowen Yang]

It's good. He plays the older brother, Kate's older brother. Brother.

[Kristen Davis]

Got it.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Kristen Davis]

Excellent.

[Bowen Yang]

And he's just so good. And he's so talented.

[Kristen Davis]

I mean, gosh, I know that's the other thing is that he was in some ways known as a writer.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Kristen Davis]

Maybe that's why we cast. Kept casting. Yeah. Which I forgot.

[Bowen Yang]

I think he wrote Tropic Thunder. I mean, he's got some cool stuff and he's funny as hell, but also great dramatic actors.

[Kristen Davis]

Oh, my God, the leftovers.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, my gosh. I know.

[Kristen Davis]

Incredible.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Kristen Davis]

Incredible leftovers. Sorry, I just shouted into you guys years.

[Bowen Yang]

It was funny because he came on and again, I was watching with my wife with Aaron. Like, is that.

[Kristen Davis]

I know. He looks like he's 25.

[Bowen Yang]

So young.

[Kristen Davis]

Right?

[Bowen Yang]

Wait a minute. And he's like, no, no, it's not him. Like, I think totally him.

[Kristen Davis]

It's 100% him.

[Bowen Yang]

I was like, it's his voice. But yeah, I had to look it up.

[Kristen Davis]

No way.

[Bowen Yang]

Not 100. Sure.

[Kristen Davis]

I mean, this is 1998. It's a long time ago. Yeah. But he's amazing. He's amazing. All right, let me look at my paper. I have to be like, I know it's a little scary. And like, there's part of me where I'm like, yeah, you should go home with. I'm like, no. And I'm like, yes. And I'm like, no.

[Bowen Yang]

It's one of those things, like, I don't know, would the sex be good with that guy?

[Kristen Davis]

You know, it's funny.

[Bowen Yang]

He's almost so self important. Like, does he only care about his own?

[Kristen Davis]

I think probably yes. But I also think that he's Justin. So there is something that he's bringing that's not on the page that makes you think maybe.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, yeah, yeah. That character, though.

[Kristen Davis]

No, what's on the page? Is it.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, that character of like, would he be good in bed?

[Kristen Davis]

No, I think he would. I'm not even going to say what I think he would do.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, you do. Yes. Just say it.

[Kristen Davis]

He would come in like 15 minutes and roll off you and go to sleep.

[Bowen Yang]

Right. Or going back to.

[Kristen Davis]

You would push your head down.

[Bowen Yang]

Right, Push the head down. And then going. And then also at the table, you talking about going down on, you know, going down blow jobs and what was the line? Line. Like I only do it to get it or something.

[Kristen Davis]

Right, right, right. Miranda says I only give head to get head.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Kristen Davis]

Which is a good line.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. No, it's great.

[Kristen Davis]

It's a good line. Right.

[Bowen Yang]

So.

[Kristen Davis]

But I don't even think he. I don't even know if that character would.

[Mary Kay McBrayer]

Would give.

[Bowen Yang]

I don't think.

[Kristen Davis]

Right. He doesn't seem like a giver.

[Bowen Yang]

Unless he's. He thinks he's so great at it that he's gonna show you.

[Kristen Davis]

I don't like that.

[Bowen Yang]

And it's not even for you.

[Kristen Davis]

I don't.

[Bowen Yang]

It's almost for him to show. You know what I mean?

[Kristen Davis]

Women do not like that.

[Bowen Yang]

No, I know.

[Kristen Davis]

That's my personal feeling.

[Bowen Yang]

What? What?

[Kristen Davis]

You can tell when someone's doing it in a performative type of way. Of course.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh. Oh, yeah. Even going. I'm saying now I remember my story I was telling when I was talking about Aaron and this and we're having great sex. Right.

[Kristen Davis]

Tell me.

[Bowen Yang]

Just, just generally I was leading up to something, then I forgot, but now I remember.

[Kristen Davis]

Tell me.

[Bowen Yang]

Because we had talked about something prior.

[Kristen Davis]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

I. If she is not in the mood, if she doesn't want to and is just doing it for charity, I'm out.

[Kristen Davis]

You can feel.

[Bowen Yang]

I don't want it. If she comes in like, babe, like, like, okay, do you want to, like, have sex now? I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. This is not how I want to go about it. There has to be connection there. There has to be a desire, a want.

[Kristen Davis]

This is why you're happily married.

[Bowen Yang]

You know what I mean? There has to be.

[Kristen Davis]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

Cuz I don't want charity. I don't want charity sex.

[Kristen Davis]

Gross. No.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang just won podcast of the year at this year's I. Oh, wow.

[Bowen Yang]

You're kidding. Stop it.

[Matt Rogers]

Lady Gaga will take home the Innovator award at Monday's iHeartradio Music Awards. Now these iHeart Award winners are teaming up on a brand new episode of Las Culturistas.

[Kristen Davis]

Thank you so much for having me here, but please, please, please don't make me get angry about anything in public.

[Matt Rogers]

Just open the free iHeartRadio app, search Las Culturistas and listen. Now.

[Dylan Mulvaney]

Is this a good time? It's me, Dylan Van, and my dear friend Joe Locke from Heartstopper. And Agatha all along is my very first guest on my brand new podcast, the Dylan Hour. It's musical mayhem and it is going to be so much fun.

[Kristen Davis]

I like a man.

[Dylan Mulvaney]

You like a man. What do I like?

[Kristen Davis]

Joe, you like a man too.

[Dylan Mulvaney]

We often. There's quite similar. There's some cross pollination happening in here.

[Kristen Davis]

Not like.

[Bowen Yang]

No.

[Kristen Davis]

Have we? No, no, not yet.

[Dylan Mulvaney]

Never say never. I cannot wait for all you girls, gays and they to join me on this extremely special pink confection of a party podcast. There is so much Darkness in this world. And what I think we could all use more of is a little joy. Listen to the Dylan hour on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your podcasts. Love ya.

[John]

My husband cheated on me with two women. He wants to stay together because he has cancer. Should I stay?

[Bowen Yang]

Hey, Sam, that has to be the craziest story in okay Storytime podcast history.

[John]

Well, John, that's because it's dumping week and this user writes, my partner told me when we first got together that he has cancer. He's currently living with his mom while he is in recovery, so that it takes the pressure off me caring for both him and her baby until he's well enough to move our new home with us.

[Bowen Yang]

Good so far?

[John]

Well, last week we had attempted break in. I asked my husband, who was supposed to be at his mom's, to come over and change locks, but he wouldn't. Then his mom told me he wasn't with her. I went to Facebook and it took me less than an hour to find the first two women. He was cheating on me.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, what else is he lying about?

[John]

Well, one thing my paranoia just wouldn't let up was about the cancer and his treatments. I asked his mom about it, who told me he doesn't have cancer. She also informed me he was in rehab cab, not the hospital. He suffered from addiction and was trying to recover for me and our baby. Did she leave him? Well, to find out how the story ends, listen and follow the okay. Storytime podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Brendan Patrick Hughes]

I started to live a double life when I was a teenager. Responsible and driven and wild and out of control. My head is pounding. I'm confused. I don't know why I'm in jail. It's hard to understand why hope is when you're trapped in a cycle of addiction. Addiction took me to the darkest places. I had an AK47 pointed at my head. But one night, a new door opened and I made it into the rooms of recovery. The path would have roadblocks and detours, stalls and relapses. But when I was feeling the most lost, I found hope with community. And I made my way back. Back this season. Join me on my journey through addiction and recovery. A story told in 12 steps. Listen to Crumbs as part of the Michael Luda Podcast Network, available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.

[Cheekies]

Hey, y'all, it's your girl. Cheekies and I'm back with a brand new season of your favorite podcast, Cheekies and Chills. I'll be sharing even more personal stories with you guys, and I know a lot of people are gonna attack me.

[Bowen Yang]

Why?

[Cheekies]

Are you gonna go visit your dad? Your mom wouldn't be okay with it. I'm gonna tell you guys right now. I know my mother and I know my mom had a very forgiving heart. That is my story on plastic surgery. This is my truth. I think the last time I cried like that was when I lost my mom like that, like, yelling. I was like, no.

[Kristen Davis]

I was like, oh.

[Cheekies]

And I thought, what did I do wrong? And as always, you'll get my exclusive take on topics like love, personal growth, health, family ties, and more. And don't forget, I'll also be dishing out my best advice to you on episodes of Dear Cheekies.

[Kristen Davis]

So my fiance and I have been together for 10 years. In the first two years of being together, I find out he is cheating on me, not only with women, but also with men. What should I do?

[Cheekies]

Okay, where do I start? That's not love. He doesn't love you enough. Because if he loved you, he'd be faithful. It's going to be an exciting year, and I hope that you can join me, listen to Cheekies and Chill season four as part of the My Cultura podcast network, available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Bowen Yang]

I want to go back to something really quickly.

[Kristen Davis]

Okay. And then I'm gonna go back to the show.

[Bowen Yang]

Okay. Really quickly.

[Kristen Davis]

You said I love it.

[Bowen Yang]

You said 15. You said he comes in 15 minutes. Is that you imply that that's a short amount of time? Can I address that for a second?

[Kristen Davis]

It was a random number.

[Bowen Yang]

I know, but it was.

[Kristen Davis]

I get your point. It's not that short. It's relatively long, I guess. Of sex.

[Bowen Yang]

I'm just saying it was you. The implication for you was 15 minutes and then he's done and he's gone. And I'm thinking, oh, Jesus, like, I better not sleep with Chris. But I think, I think, oh, God, Jesus.

[Kristen Davis]

This is gonna be the headline just for this.

[Bowen Yang]

Then we'll get back into the show. But, like, I just think there's this.

[Kristen Davis]

Miss how red am I right now? Oh, Jesus.

[Bowen Yang]

There's a misconception with men, and correct me if I'm wrong, maybe I'm not because of the 15 minute thing that women want to have sex for hours. There's a misconception of that. And there's also a misconception that a woman wants a very huge penis.

[Kristen Davis]

Oh, no, Oliver. Jesus Christ.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, wait, this is. This is not the tone of this.

[Kristen Davis]

No, no, no, it can be okay.

[Bowen Yang]

I'm just saying it can be.

[Kristen Davis]

It can be okay. Okay, let's address both. Okay, so this is what I think about it now. I did try to talk to someone, I think Christine Taylor last week. There's this weird vibe of the sex scenes in the whole first season where everyone is just like madly pawing at each other and kissing like crazy. Like this weird heightened thing. And I'm like, why were we all doing that? Like, what is that about? You know what I'm saying? Like, whose idea of good sex is that?

[Bowen Yang]

Like, even in the one I watched.

[Dylan Mulvaney]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

When someone's kissing Cynthia, the. That dude. I was like, what is he doing? Like, right now?

[Kristen Davis]

100. Yes. It is a whole through line of this weird, frenzied ripping at the clothes. And I do think it was something that was happening in soap operas on TV at that time. You know what I'm saying? Like, it's kind of a TV thing. But I also can remember films like the. When sex used to be in films, you know, where they would, like, rip the clothes off, which is so not realistic at all. And to me, not sexy.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Kristen Davis]

Like, what I'm getting to, it's never that animal.

[Bowen Yang]

I mean, you can have that feeling, but it's getting.

[Kristen Davis]

Some animal is good, right? But starting slow is so nice. And I think, like. And I'm just, we're here, I'm gonna go for it. The last person that I had any kind of relationship with younger at one point. You know how there's a lot of kissing in the beginning? And then at one point he was like, yeah, that's too much kissing.

[Bowen Yang]

I'm like.

[Kristen Davis]

I was like, no, the kissing is really important, dude.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Kristen Davis]

And then, you know, he was young, he not very evolved or whatever, and he was like, nah, I don't want to kiss like that. And I was like, oh, my God.

[Bowen Yang]

The fact that you even say that.

[Kristen Davis]

I know. I was like, now it's going to be over.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, of course.

[Kristen Davis]

Because if I'm not going to get the good kissing, what am I here for?

[Bowen Yang]

Well, I know, and it's funny you say that, because with my wife again, for a million years, the kissing kind of went away a little bit strangely. Well, because I'm not saying it's transactional sex in any way, but sometimes you got kids, you got this.

[Kristen Davis]

I get it.

[Bowen Yang]

Of Course there's quick, but, you know, you kind of forget.

[Cheekies]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

And then it's like you remind, like, oh, the kids are so good. And you make out and it's.

[Kristen Davis]

It's so good. Right?

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, my God.

[Kristen Davis]

That's good that you felt that way. I'm glad. I'm glad. So for me, in terms of the 15 minutes thing, situation, and I'm only speaking for myself because I really think it's important. I think our show tried to show this, but I think people forget. You know, there's different women who want different things and this is fine. Just like there's different men who want different things. Right.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Kristen Davis]

And you have to figure out the person that you're with and whether you're into that. Like with Charlotte in this. In this particular episode, apparently, which I have forgotten. Charlotte doesn't like to give blowjobs, which I think she gets over. Okay. Because there's a scene.

[Bowen Yang]

I know when I saw that, I'm like, oh, man. I mean, that's sort of a.

[Kristen Davis]

It's kind of extreme.

[Bowen Yang]

I mean, I'm not saying that the guy pushing your head down.

[Kristen Davis]

No, that doesn't make it okay, but it is.

[Bowen Yang]

It is a. It's a bit of a deal killer. I mean, I mean, if I was with a woman and I'm falling in love and she goes, I do not give blowjobs jobs. I hate it. I don't want it. I'm like, ooh. Because that's intimate and that's fun. And I'm kinda like, I get it.

[Kristen Davis]

I get it, I get it. I get it.

[Bowen Yang]

I'm gonna marry you and grow old with you and die with you without ever having a blowjob for 68 years. Like, that's a long time.

[Kristen Davis]

That is a very long time. This is my feeling with it because I had not remembered the storyline at all. Cynthia had remembered that when that episode was happening, that Darren and Michael Patrick came to us independently, each one of us, and said, you know, how do you guys feel about bl? Because we're trying to write this, but we realize that we're gay men and you guys are straight women. Can you share with us your thoughts? Right. I had forgotten all of this.

[Bowen Yang]

I should have documented all this stuff behind the scenes stuff. Amazing. Yeah.

[Kristen Davis]

Who knew?

[Bowen Yang]

We were just like, it'd be incredible.

[Kristen Davis]

You know, it was very intense. We didn't have that many days to shoot back then either.

[Bowen Yang]

You know what I mean?

[Kristen Davis]

We weren't. We didn't think we would, yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

Be this iconic.

[Kristen Davis]

What we are thankful all the girls.

[Bowen Yang]

Had to sort of.

[Kristen Davis]

I guess we all said our different things. And I know that I didn't say that I didn't like them because I wouldn't really say that. I might have said I don't like someone pushing my head down because definitely.

[Bowen Yang]

Right.

[Kristen Davis]

I. Who likes that? No, nobody, as far as I know. But I didn't remember that either. But I didn't also remember that Charlotte has this whole thing and very, like, kind of adorably and with some strength, really thinks that he's going to be like, of course that's fine. No, blowjobs is fine.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, she's that important to me. Like, yeah. All sweet and cute.

[Kristen Davis]

You're like, so sweet and cute.

[Bowen Yang]

I'm like, is that okay?

[Kristen Davis]

I'm like, I just don't like that. I just don't like that. I mean, what I think at the time, thinking back on it and also thinking about, you know, she's had this huge development, which all people do, right? Which is what's the joy of still getting to play her all these many years later. And she's this incredible relationship with Harry. And there is a scene in. And just like that involving a prosthetic with a blowjob that she's 100% willing and initiates and into. So thank God she got over whatever that was. Right. And I don't know when we didn't deal with it, but even.

[Bowen Yang]

It was a nice commentary, though. It's super interesting that I watched where I think Samantha's like, oh, it's power. I feel power.

[Kristen Davis]

Right, right. You know, it's super fascinating to think about the dynamics of that and the dynamics and talking about it from the female perspective, which I think is what hadn't been on screen before. And what people are surprised about is, A, the openness, but B, the fully female perspective. Like, we don't even ask the dudes. You know what I'm saying? Like, big is an enigma. And we're just trying to figure it out, which is very much the female. Right. And then Charlotte's like, well, I just don't like it. And when they have that scene at the. At the. You know, the restaurant, and Carrie's like, don't do it if you don't like it. You know, it's so cute. It's so cute. But also so important because just the idea of being able to not do something that all the men want you to do is kind of revolutionary.

[Bowen Yang]

Of course. Of course.

[Kristen Davis]

But, I mean, my thought. And I don't know what I thought at the time? My thought now would be like, what trauma did Charlotte have? Did Charlotte. I mean, maybe it was all the men pushing her head down.

[Bowen Yang]

Exactly.

[Kristen Davis]

Right. Like if that's the. The. The general get go.

[Bowen Yang]

Yes.

[Kristen Davis]

Which I do think. I mean, I probably couldn't count the number of men in my 20s that push my head down. Probably couldn't count up how many that would be. It would probably be everyone that I was ever involved with in my 20s, you know, which is really sad.

[Bowen Yang]

No, I know.

[Kristen Davis]

Like, how are you supposed to like that thing?

[Bowen Yang]

Kind of crazy.

[Kristen Davis]

I know. It is kind of crazy, but it's also so amazing now that we can even say that that's crazy.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang just won Podcast of the Year at this year's iHeart Podcast Awards.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, wow. You're kidding. Stop it.

[Matt Rogers]

Lady Gaga will take home the Innovator award at Monday's iHeartradio Music Awards. Now these iHeart Award winners are teaming up on a brand new episode of Lost Culture.

[Kristen Davis]

Thank you so much for having me here, but please, please, please don't make me get angry about anything in public.

[Matt Rogers]

Just open the free I Heart Radio app search Las Culturistas and listen. Now.

[John]

My husband cheated on me with two women. He wants to stay together because he has cancer. Should I stay?

[Bowen Yang]

Okay, Sam, that has to be the craziest story in okay, Story time podcast history.

[John]

Well, John, that's because it's dump of week and this user writes, last week we had an attempted break in. I asked my husband, who was supposed to be at his mom's, to come over and change the locks. But his mom told me he wasn't with her. And it took me less than an hour to find the first two women he was cheating on me with. Did she leave him? Well, to find out how this story ends, follow the OK Storytime podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Bowen Yang]

My name is Brendan Patrick Hughes, host of Divine Intervention. This is a story about radical nuns in combat boots and wild haired priests trading blows with J. Edgar Hoover in a hellbent effort to sabotage a war.

[Kristen Davis]

J. Edgar Hoover was furious. He was out of his mind and he wanted to bring the Catholic left to its knees.

[Bowen Yang]

Listen to Divine intervention on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Mary Kay McBrayer]

I'm Mary Kay McBrayer, host of the podcast the Greatest True Crime Stories Ever Told. This season explores women from the 19th century to now. Women who were murderers and scammers, but also women who were photojournalists, lawyers, lawyers, writers, and more. This podcast tells more than just the brutal, gory details of horrific acts. I delve into the good, the bad, the difficult, and all the nuance I can find because these are the stories that we need to know to understand the intersection of society, justice, and the fascinating workings of the human psyche. Join me every week as I tell some of the most enthralling true crime stories. Stories about women who are not just victims, but heroes or villains, or often somewhere in between. Listen to the greatest true crime stories ever told on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Cheekies]

Hey y'all, it's your girl, Cheekies. And I'm back with a brand new season of your favorite podcast, Cheekies and Chill. I'll be sharing even more personal stories with you guys, and as always, you'll get my exclusive take on top topics like love, personal growth, health, family ties, and more. And don't forget, I'll also be dishing out my best advice to you on episodes of Dear Cheekies. It's going to be an exciting year and I hope that you can join me. Listen to Cheekies and chill season four on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts.