Podcast Summary: "We have a Big problem… (Oliver Hudson weighs in: S1 E7 “The Monogamists”)”

Introduction

In the seventh episode of the first season of Are You A Charlotte?, released on March 24, 2025, host Kristin Davis delves deep into the complexities of monogamy as depicted in the iconic TV show Sex and the City. Joined by special guest Oliver Hudson, Davis and Hudson rewatch and analyze the episode titled “The Monogamists,” exploring its themes, behind-the-scenes insights, and its enduring relevance in today's conversations about relationships and sexuality.

Revisiting "The Monogamists" Episode

Kristin Davis opens the discussion by expressing her excitement to revisit “The Monogamists,” highlighting its significance in portraying the struggles of maintaining monogamous relationships. She remarks, “[04:21] Kristen Davis: I can't wait to hear,” setting the stage for an in-depth analysis alongside Oliver Hudson.

Behind the Scenes with Oliver Hudson

Oliver Hudson shares his experiences from the set, particularly his interactions with intimacy coordinators. He states, “[06:42] Bowen Yang: Yeah, it was great. I mean, she was okay, how do you feel about putting your hand here and doing this?” Hudson emphasizes the importance of having an additional layer of support during sensitive scenes, ensuring both actors felt comfortable and respected.

Kristin adds, “[06:08] Kristen Davis: And what did you think?” reflecting on her own positive experiences with intimacy coordinators. They discuss the evolution of these roles in the industry, with Davis noting, “[06:42] Kristen Davis: So it's like another set of eyes for you,” underscoring how intimacy coordinators contribute to a safer and more professional environment on set.

Intimacy Coordinators: Evolution and Impact

The conversation shifts to the broader impact of intimacy coordinators. Davis shares a contrasting experience from indie films, “[05:00] Kristen Davis: I have had bad. I mean, it was one of my first times with one.” She highlights the inconsistency in their application across different productions, stressing the need for standardized practices to protect actors and maintain authenticity in performances.

Hudson concurs, “[07:09] Bowen Yang: I was thrilled,” appreciating the structured approach brought by intimacy coordinators in recent productions. Their dialogue reflects a growing awareness and acceptance of these roles, contributing positively to the portrayal of intimate scenes.

Character Development: Charlotte York and Big

Davis and Hudson delve into the intricate relationship between Charlotte York and Big. Davis observes, “[08:56] Kristen Davis: I was with my wife watching it last night, and I was like, I think I might start this now,” highlighting how the characters' dynamics resonate even decades later. They analyze Charlotte’s evolving stance on intimacy, particularly her initial reluctance to engage in certain acts, which Davis attributes to her Southern upbringing and personal boundaries.

Hudson adds, “[10:39] Bowen Yang: Yeah,” agreeing on the depth of character development. They discuss the challenges of portraying genuine emotions within the confines of scripted lines, noting how Big’s actions often speak louder than his words, “[10:43] Bowen Yang: Which Is that was interesting actor, by the way.”

Relationship Dynamics and Monogamy

A significant portion of the discussion centers on the theme of monogamy. Davis questions Big's commitment, “[20:19] Kristen Davis: But I don't blame everybody,” prompting a dialogue on the complexities of trust and communication in relationships. Hudson emphasizes the importance of open conversations, “[22:29] Bowen Yang: No,” advocating for clarity to avoid misunderstandings.

They explore the psychological aspects of commitment, with Hudson reflecting, “[23:08] Bowen Yang: Because we weren't committed,” and Davis insisting, “[23:11] Kristen Davis: Sure, but emotionally, it would really hurt me.” Their exchange underscores the perennial struggle to balance personal freedom with relational expectations.

Sex Scenes: Past vs. Present

Kristin and Hudson revisit the portrayal of sex scenes in the early seasons of Sex and the City, comparing them to contemporary standards. Davis critiques the exaggerated physicality, “[48:05] Kristen Davis: Why were we all doing that? Like, what is that about?” while Hudson acknowledges the shift towards more nuanced and consensual depictions today.

They reflect on how societal attitudes towards sexuality have evolved, with Davis noting, “[09:07] Kristen Davis: Some things have changed, some things have not changed.” This examination highlights the show's pioneering role in normalizing open discussions about female sexuality, a legacy that continues to influence modern media.

Male Perspectives on Relationships

An enlightening segment of the episode explores male perspectives on intimacy and vulnerability. Hudson candidly shares his personal journey, “[15:00] Bowen Yang: Vulnerability with your significant other is even more difficult,” revealing the challenges men face in expressing emotions openly. Davis echoes this sentiment, “[22:35] Kristen Davis: But some men, they just do not want to work on themselves,” emphasizing the importance of mutual effort in sustaining healthy relationships.

Their discussion advocates for empathy and understanding, urging listeners to recognize and bridge the communication gaps that often exist between partners.

Reflections on the Show's Legacy

As the conversation draws to a close, Davis and Hudson reflect on the lasting impact of Sex and the City. Davis marvels, “[12:22] Bowen Yang: Yeah,” acknowledging the show's bravery in addressing taboo topics and its role in empowering women to seek fulfillment in life, sex, and friendships.

Hudson concurs, “[34:12] Bowen Yang: Right,” affirming that the show's legacy lies in its authentic portrayal of women's experiences, paving the way for future narratives that continue to break barriers and foster open dialogue.

Notable Quotes

• Kristin Davis [04:21]: "I can't wait to hear."
• Oliver Hudson [06:42]: "It's like another set of eyes for you."
• Kristin Davis [08:56]: "I was with my wife watching it last night, and I was like, I think I might start this now."
• Oliver Hudson [23:08]: "Because we weren't committed."
• Kristin Davis [48:05]: "Why were we all doing that? Like, what is that about?"
• Oliver Hudson [15:00]: "Vulnerability with your significant other is even more difficult."

Conclusion

In this compelling episode of Are You A Charlotte?, Kristin Davis and Oliver Hudson offer a thoughtful exploration of Sex and the City’s intricate portrayal of monogamy and relationship dynamics. Through their candid discussions, they shed light on the show's groundbreaking approach to intimacy, character development, and the evolving landscape of modern relationships. Listeners gain valuable insights into the enduring relevance of these themes, making this episode a must-listen for fans and newcomers alike.