Podcast Summary: Are You Garbage? – "Becoming a Man w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley"

Release Date: October 27, 2025
Hosts: H. Foley & Kevin Ryan

Main Theme & Purpose

This "family episode" of Are You Garbage? features hosts H. Foley and Kevin Ryan (no guest), diving deep into trashy food habits, adult milestones marked by snack preferences, generational differences in taste, and the eternal question: at what point must you age out of certain "garbage" behaviors? The boys riff on everything from Wheat Thins and pretzel economics to the social acceptability of adult Dorito consumption, all while fielding classic "garbage" questions from fans.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Milestones of Adulthood—Snack Edition

[03:58–09:06]

• Foley coins an important coming-of-age marker: enjoying Wheat Thins signals a matured palate.
  • "That really defines a boy or a girl becoming a man or a woman." —H. Foley [04:08]
• The duo debates sophisticated snacks: Wheat Thins vs. Triscuits vs. saltines.
• Foley argues Wheat Thins are sweet and represent the moment you "grow up a little bit" in your eating.
  • "That was really when you grew up a little bit when you started appreciating them." —H. Foley [07:07]
• Kevin adds ginger snaps as a "more mature" snack, especially as a summer leftover, and recalls childhood hunger-driven food experiments.

2. Age Limits for Childhood Snacks

[10:09–17:44]

• Heated discussion about when you should "age out" of snacks like Doritos, Gushers, Ring Pops, and candy necklaces.
  • "There should be...a maximum age limit to when you should be consuming Doritos." —Kevin Ryan [10:11]
• Foley defends Doritos' timelessness; Kevin says he'd question an adult professional eating Cool Ranch at their desk.
  • "If I'm somewhere...And I'm saying this as for mature people, not us...If I walked in to the guy who's doing my will and he was finishing up lunch with a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos..." [16:15]
• Candy jewelry, Bubble Tape, and Big Red gum spark nostalgic (and digestive) memories.

3. Adult Food Preferences and Social Status

[17:45–25:00]

• What should a real "man" (or "adult") snack on?
• Scent cues from pilots—should pilots eat Doritos or smoke cigarettes?
  • "I want my guy smoking heaters, not eating Doritos." —Kevin Ryan [18:51]
• Associations of masculine cologne like Stetson and family nostalgia.

4. Trashy Habits & The Family Dynamic

[25:15–36:13]

• Listener questions trigger banter around:
  • Wearing sports jerseys on vacation—acceptable or trashy?
    • "I think vacation wins there...a thick, NFL authentic jersey...at a swim-up bar, you look like a bazo." —Kevin Ryan [28:29]
  • DIY car repair: using shoelaces to fix windshield wipers ("Three Stooges shit" per Foley).
  • Family party culture: getting roasted at holiday functions and how humor is inherited from family dynamics.
    • "That's, like when you realize what funny was." —H. Foley [35:39]

5. Garbage Economics & Entrepreneurial Schemes

[49:04–57:39]

• The economics (and logistics) of selling Philly soft pretzels in NYC, complete with back-of-the-envelope math for franchise feasibility and hypothetical hustles.
  • "That's a good idea in theory though." —H. Foley [56:55]
• Creative "garbage" financial planning: one listener holds on to winning scratchers as a sort of blue-collar savings account.
  • "That's brilliant...that's like a 401k to me." —Kevin Ryan [58:35]

6. Family Eccentricities and “Trashiness”

[38:29–46:45]

• Formative stories about relatives obsessed with horses, trashy wolf t-shirts, and distant, "mountain people" family members.
  • "Wolves is extra trashy, though." —H. Foley [40:26]
  • "She came down with one of those wolf shirts on to, like, an event. This wasn't kitschy. This was like...This is my nice shirt I'm putting on." —Kevin Ryan [41:27]
• The boys break down Tex-Mex vs. Mexican food, revealing culinary confusion as part of the "garbage" experience.

7. Listener Tales: Hall-of-Fame Trash Moves

[59:11–61:05]

• Wedding on Halloween to Dad's former neighbor turned stepmom—"freaky deaky" and deeply trashy, with hilarious asides about spooky wedding food (meatloaf foot with onion toenails!).
  • "Neighbor's stepmom getting married on Halloween. That's freak...freaky deaky." —Kevin Ryan [60:14]
• Deep dive into the trauma and comedy of school haunted houses, and Foley’s elementary school days as the designated “weird-looking” kid for Halloween scares.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "A grown up snack...where the men become boys and the women become, who?" —H. Foley [08:30]
• "If you got the elastic up around your arms at a swim up bar, you look like a bazo." —Kevin Ryan [28:29]
• "Doritos...probably Tex Mex. Right?" —H. Foley [48:58]
• "If you're doing that, I'll let you do that to get out of a pinch. If you're in a monsoon, I recommend just pull over and wait for the rain to pass. If you don't got working windshield wipers. ...but if you're gonna do that, I. Great ingenuity." —Kevin Ryan [32:04]
• "I just took a little here, a little there, a little timing from him, act out from him, a little attitude from him. Got outbrended. An artist doesn't create. He listens." —Kevin Ryan & H. Foley [36:12]

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:24–03:02 — Show intro, tour plugs, bantering about podcast growth
• 03:57–09:06 — "Becoming a Man": The Snack Debate (Wheat Thins, mature snacks)
• 10:09–17:44 — The Age Limit on Doritos and Kid Snacks
• 18:51–23:07 — Adult food choices; what should your pilot/doctor eat?
• 25:15–29:14 — Listener Q: Wearing sports jerseys on vacation
• 31:07–36:13 — Car repairs, family party roasts, and generational humor
• 38:29–46:45 — Relatives obsessed with horses/wolves, Tex-Mex confusion
• 49:04–57:39 — The Philly pretzel franchise hustle; snack-based entrepreneurship
• 58:17–59:02 — Holding lottery tickets as emergency cash
• 59:11–61:05 — Trashiest family weddings and Halloween food atrocities

Tone & Style

The episode brims with irreverence, nostalgia, self-deprecating jokes, and the lovable Philly dirtbag charm that defines the show. Foley and Ryan seamlessly blend their genuine affection for garbage culture with razor-sharp comedic timing, all the while maintaining a conversational, conspiratorial tone that makes even the most outlandish stories feel like memories shared over beers with old friends.

For Listeners New and Old

Whether you’re a lifelong garbage aficionado or just dabbling in Philly-flavored comedy, this episode serves as an uproarious walk down memory lane—one paved with Wheat Thins, junk food, trashy family weddings, and high-risk, low-reward business schemes.

If you want to understand your own “garbage” tendencies—or just laugh at someone else’s—this edition of “Becoming a Man” leaves no stone (or pretzel) unturned.