Are You Garbage? – "Ever Been Punched by an Adult?!"
Hosts: Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Date: December 15, 2025
Overview
In this lively "family episode," comedians Kevin Ryan and H. Foley riff without a guest, digging into the subtle and not-so-subtle ways people are "garbage." They field listeners' questions, reminisce about trashy habits and family chaos, and debate the finer points of coffee pots, mail, weird food pairings, and being socked by an adult. The tone is classic AYG: rapid-fire, affectionate ball-busting, with nostalgia for blue-collar habits and the derelict ways we all grew up.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Life Updates & Suburban Trash
- Foley opens with a self-deprecating bit on his old CPAP machine, boasting duct tape and DIY straps.
“I took a bandana or a headband and made my own strap, which I think if I did...what is your apartment in a post-apocalyptic world? Go buy new gear. What are we doing?” (01:12, B)
- They discuss Kevin’s life in the suburbs, mail logistics, and dad stuff. Foley wonders about Kevin's mail routine:
“Do you pull up to the mailbox and take the mail out when you’re in the car?” (09:14, A)
- Kevin explains his is a walk-up mailbox: “Our mail’s delivered by foot.” (11:04, B)
- No one on the show has ever trusted or used the mailbox flag for outgoing mail.
2. Clothing Habits & Fat-Guy Fashion
- Foley and Kevin compare sartorial notes: quarter-zips, polo, Carhartt, and being big boys in big sizes.
Foley: “They do big guy sizes, too.” (07:22, A)
- H. Foley jokes about buying a sweater for a funeral years ago, and only now fitting in it.
3. On Diners, Fast Food, and Beverage Rituals
- The hosts wax philosophical about breakfast joint etiquette:
- Both are pro–coffee pots on the table at diners.
- At gas stations, open-air coffee is a no-go:
“Never go near it. I’m a weird germaphobe guy.” (21:17, A)
- They dive into drinks and fast food:
- Fast food must be accompanied by its own category of beverage (Coke, not beer).
- European-style combos (burger and beer, wine with McDonalds) feel wrong.
“It’s not a burger. It’s fast food. It all comes in a bag. An external drink like a beer…doesn’t mix in.” (22:37, B) “McDonald’s…that’s after you’re drunk…But no, I do respect that move—a Quarter Pounder with cheese and an ice-cold garage beer sounds delicious.” (24:07, A)
4. Listener Questions: "Am I Garbage?"
- Hilarious hypotheticals ensue as listeners poke at the concept of high and low trashiness:
- Is it garbage to pair McDonald’s with alcohol?
- Ever gotten punched by an adult?
- Would you drink soup straight from the can?
- What about Hot Pockets overkill (like a 91-year-old ordering $600 of them)?
- Do you have a family member who got caught on the news for a crime?
5. Family, Charity, and Guilt
- Foley claims he gives to charity; Kevin and their producer mock-accuse him of lying.
- Long bit as they play chicken over who’s more charitable, with Foley finally agreeing to volunteer “after the holidays.” (47:49+)
“I give the fuckin’ St. Jude’s every time I go to DXL. They’re probably into me for like two grand.” (47:58, A)
- The team discusses possible volunteer opportunities: soup kitchens, rat control, acting classes for kids.
6. “Ever Been Punched by an Adult?!”
- Foley and Kevin tell their own stories:
- Producer’s listener tale: a DJ’s assistant at a Sweet 16 hits on teens, fights break out, 14-year-old gets punched (!), cops clear party. (61:10+)
“Dude, imagine hitting on a 16 year old, then punching a 14 year old. That guy’s in jail and deserves to be. That’s crazy.” (61:20, B)
- Foley: At a graduation party, an adult decks one of the teenage guests after (alleged) disrespect.
“We were all like ready to bounce on this guy. Mom comes running down the driveway screaming…” (62:57, A)
7. Iconic Foods & Nostalgic Eats
- Hot Pockets & Lean Pockets: degenerate favorites, with elaborate theorizing about cooking, serving size, and “back when I was banging, they were two packs.” (35:08, B)
- Soup in a can: All agree it’s extremely garbage, especially if you leave leftovers in the can in the fridge (“botulism!”).
- Cup Noodles, sodium, and college grub: “I had like two or three one day. He’s like, that stuff’s bad for you. I said get out of here…” (64:57, A)
8. Wacky Family & Trashy Situations
- Reading off the news and recognizing a cousin falling through the ceiling of a robbed pharmacy leads to a discussion of various criminal family moments.
- Stories about tough Christmases, ruined holidays, running into neighbors at mass, and cold, comforter-less parents’ homes.
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- On suburb life and mail:
“You make that guy get out…Man. Being a suburban mailman, you don’t get one of the cars. That sucks.” (11:15, A) - On fast food and beer:
“That’s not a burger. It’s fast food. It all comes in a bag. An external drink like a beer…doesn’t mix in.” (22:37, B) - On charity boasting:
“I give the fuckin’ St. Jude’s every time I go to DXL. They’re probably into me for like two grand.” (47:58, A) - On being punched by an adult:
“Dude, imagine hitting on a 16 year old, then punching a 14 year old. That guy’s in jail and deserves to be.” (61:20, B) - On trashy nostalgia:
“Back when I was banging, they were two-packs.” (35:08, B)
Timestamps for Important Segments
- Suburban mail & trash talk: 09:14–12:30
- Diner coffee etiquette & gas station horror: 13:08–21:34
- Fast food and drinks, is burger+beer garbage?: 22:03–26:09
- Giving to charity: Foley vs. the World: 45:48–47:58
- Listener Q: "Ever been punched by an adult?”: 39:52–43:20, then resumes with listener’s tale at 61:10–62:57
- Soup in a can & junk food nostalgia: 63:03–65:00
Tone & Language
Relentlessly playful, irreverent, and self-deprecating. The guys riff in their familiar trashy-comedy dialect, mocking their own garbage ways, busting each other’s balls in a loving way, and inviting listeners to own their quirks.
Summary
If you ever wondered whether McDonald's and beer is a sin, if it's okay to trust open coffee at a rest stop, or what to do when your grandpa orders $600 of Hot Pockets, this episode delivers. In-between trashy food confessions and tales of youthful (and adult) chaos, Kevin and Foley never let up on the laugh pedal—or the self-examination.
End of Summary