Gary Owen!

Summary

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Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Episode: Gary Owen!

Hosts: H. Foley & Kevin Ryan
Guest: Gary Owen
Date: February 8, 2026

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Overview

This episode of "Are You Garbage?" features the legendary standup comedian Gary Owen. Hosts H. Foley and Kevin Ryan put Gary to the test to determine if he's "garbage" or "classy," digging deep into his upbringing, career, family drama, and material success. The episode offers a hilarious and honest portrait of Gary’s trailer park roots, Navy years, rise to fame in comedy, and eventual evolution into his current, more upscale life—all in the show’s signature blend of roasting and affection.

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Gary Owen's Early Life & Upbringing

Childhood & Family Dynamics

• Gary grew up on the outskirts of Cincinnati, Ohio, in a setting that shifted based on his mom’s relationships.
• “It was outskirts vibe. I always say it’s depending on who my mom was dating. Kind of moving around.” (02:28)
• At age 10, his family moved into a trailer park in Hamilton, Ohio. He describes a chaotic home life, with multiple half-siblings from both his mom and dad, whom he didn’t really grow up close to due to big age gaps: “19 years between me and the youngest.” (07:01)
• The family vacations were minimal—a single trip to Cocoa Beach, Florida, crammed into a non-air-conditioned station wagon. It was memorable chiefly because Gary saw his first sex worker there at age 10.
  • “That’s the first hooker I ever saw. Cocoa Beach.” (08:46)

Stepdad Drama & Family Ties

• Gary’s stepdad, Rodney, featured prominently in his childhood stories.
  • “If you have… those of you who don’t have kids yet, don’t name your son Rodney, because as an adult, you will get this phone call: ‘Hey, did you hear what happened to Rodney?’” (05:27)
• Rodney and Gary’s mom are still together, but the family has seen its share of hardships: one brother died of a heroin overdose, and another is permanently brain-damaged after a violent drug incident. Gary is now estranged from his entire family.
• Falling out happened after a 2014 BuzzFeed profile upset Rodney:
  • “That’s when my mom and Rodney went—left my mom especially, because I kind of—the family secret got let out. Rodney’s an asshole, but everybody knows he’s an asshole.” (13:43)

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School Days, Social Life, & First Jobs

School Experience

• Gary was an average student (“right in the meaty part of the curve" (14:44)) but popular, named Prom King and class clown.
• He didn’t attend prom by choice, nearly going to a Reds game instead, and only went because he landed on prom court. His date was a last-minute setup, which led to a comically awkward night and a surprise “full circle” moment (16:25–17:40) years later:
  • “Guess who my green room waitress is—the girl from prom.” (17:04)

First Job

• Worked at a strawberry farm as a teenager—getting up before sunrise, earning $11/hour picking berries, and getting paid under the table, along with a payday candy bar.
  • “Lunch was amazing. It was like out of a movie. Picnic table, chicken salad sandwiches, iced tea with the big glass lemons…” (22:24)
• Never took the SAT or ACT; instead, took the military’s ASVAB to join the Navy.
  • “My best friend…woke me up one Saturday morning…‘Gary, you gotta get out of here’... him and his dad drove me down to the recruiting station.” (23:27)

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Navy Years & Stand-Up Beginnings

Military Service

• Navy for six years—initially in the Presidential Honor Guard in Washington, D.C.
• “First duty station was Washington, D.C. I was in Honor Guard…spinning the rifles.” (24:51)
• Participated in Clinton’s inauguration, military funerals at Arlington, and White House ceremonies (27:11).
• Then transferred to San Diego, became Navy police, and started doing stand-up comedy.
• His first attempt at stand-up—for the legendary Comedy Store in La Jolla—was disastrous, resulting in being immediately kicked out for a joke about underage drinking.
  • “The lights went off, the mic went off. Two guys came out of nowhere, grabbed me by the shirt and winged me out the front door.” (31:36)

Breaking Into Comedy

• Got back into comedy doing black rooms in San Diego—crucial in shaping his career niche as a white comic in a black comedy world.
  • “A lot of white comics didn’t want to go there. So that’s really what got me started…in all the black shows.” (32:36)
• Regular at karaoke/comedy hybrid nights and eventually got back on stage at the Comedy Store after apologizing.

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Career Success, Money, and Star Encounters

Comedy Rise

• Broke in with TV (BET Comic View, movie with Jamie Foxx) and quickly saw more money than he ever had.
  • Bought a Rolex after his first big checks. “It was an expensive one, but…I bought a nice little watch.” (55:44)
• Received a $150k holding deal from Quincy Jones after an unlikely set of performances at Montreal’s Just For Laughs festival:
  • “He wrote the check and handed it to me. And my manager goes, ‘Oh, this never happens.’” (60:55)
• Spent months at Quincy’s house.
  • “The stories he told—I’m not going to share them all, but they’re true…like Frank Sinatra and Orson Welles and Michael Jackson…” (62:10)

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Present-Day Life—Wealth, Family, & Taste

Upscale Living

• Lives in Houston suburb Sienna:
  • “There’s no Rodneys in the neighborhood.” (35:39)
• Building his own house with a custom pool, sunken outdoor game area, and a connected hot tub.
  • “Always wanted the sunken area to watch the game.” (36:37)
• Drives an Audi S8; his partner drives an electric Escalade because of their two-year-old twins.
• Notable “glow up” from his roots:
  • “You picked strawberries and grew up in a trailer park. Now you’re building your own house and have a pool with a waterfall.” (38:01)

Vacations & Perks

• Annual family trips to the Bahamas:
  • “I do the Bahamas twice a year—I do July 4th and I do Christmas at the Bahamar.” (42:05)
• The arrangement: he performs one show, gets all rooms and food comped, and brings the entire extended family.
  • “They give me a cabana at the pool…just took great care of us.” (44:58)

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Food, Drinking, & Personal Style

Diet & Indulgence

• Eats clean, rarely fast food, enjoys masa chip nachos at home (65:03), collects wine but is more a social drinker.
  • "If other people are around...I get horny when I drink, so I don't want to just be drinking by myself." (65:56)

Barbers & Grooming

• Struggles to find a reliable barber in Houston, prefers “quick, simple cuts” and is annoyed by extensive barber “events.”
  • “Black barbers…take a long time and it's an event.” (47:16)
• Has a temperature-controlled wine display by the front door—“…it's like 104 [bottles] and I think I'm at 98, and I've bought like six of the bottles.” (50:44)

Travel & Flying

• Flies United (“can get everywhere direct out of Houston” (52:18)), up front whenever possible, conscious about putting his airplane seat back:
  • “I see who’s behind me. I’m very cautious because I don’t like it when somebody just goes [slams seat back]…” (53:08)
• Prefers snacks over meals on planes; not a “bring-my-own-meal” guy.

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

On Growing Up

• “I am the only guy that’s in the top and bottom half of the meaty part of the curve.” (14:44)
• “One vacation. Cocoa Beach, Florida. I saw my first hooker.” (07:53)

On Rodney

• “Rodney had every bad black stereotype…no job, in and out of jail…I go, that’s Rodney.” (09:03)
• [On stepdad fighting his real dad at his wedding]: “Rodney sucker punched my real dad at the wedding, bro.” (66:42)

On Comedy Beginnings

• “First day in San Diego…called the Comic Castle. Guy goes, ‘Hold on, let me check.’ He comes back, he goes, ‘I can't find him’…he was looking for a superhero named Open Mic.” (30:15)
• “I got kicked out of the Comedy Store, but I knew I could talk shit, so I took a little solace out of it.” (31:50)

On Making It/Having Money

• “Once you go up front [on a plane], you can’t go to the back.” (53:00)
• [On his resort deal]: “You’re on vacation. You’re like, ‘I don’t wanna pay for this thing.’ ‘Wipe it up. I’ll do 45 [minutes].’” (44:46)

On Black Audiences

• “No matter what you do in life, whether you’re playing basketball, telling jokes, you’re at a wedding, dancing—if there’s nothing like black people hyping you up…” (70:34)
• “It really does hit different.” (71:05)

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Notable Segments & Timestamps

• [02:25] — Gary describes growing up in Cincinnati-outskirts, trailer park living.
• [07:53] — Only family vacation; sees first sex worker at age 10.
• [14:44] — “Meaty part of the curve”—average in school, class clown, prom king.
• [22:01] — First job: picking strawberries; paid in cash and a candy bar.
• [23:27] — Getting pushed into the Navy by a friend.
• [24:51] — Honor Guard experiences, Clinton inauguration, Navy police stories.
• [31:36] — Getting kicked out of the Comedy Store for threatening to call the cops.
• [42:05] — His Bahamas gig-for-vacation arrangement.
• [44:58] — “They just took great care of us”—cabana, rooms, food at resort.
• [55:44] — First splurges: Rolex and Quincy Jones $150k deal.
• [60:55] — “He wrote the check and handed it to me…” Quincy Jones deal story.
• [66:42] — Rodney sucker-punches Gary’s real dad at his wedding.

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Is Gary Garbage?

Judgment:

• “[You] started Rodney in a goddamn trailer park. You’re allowed to ask for the Mountain Valley water…Now you’re building your own house and have a pool with a waterfall.” (52:02)
• Final verdict (comic): “You’re trash, buddy. The great kind…You redeemed yourself. But you’re dirt. A goddamn gentleman these days!” (73:20)

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Takeaway

Gary Owen’s episode is classic “Are You Garbage?”—a raw and hilarious deep-dive into hardscrabble beginnings, colorful family history, hustling toward success, and ultimately growing into serious comfort without losing perspective (or self-deprecation). Listeners get both outrageous anecdotes and a sense of triumph, all bathed in the show’s signature trashy-classy analysis.

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Transcript

[A]

Hey, everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is RU Garbage.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

It's that little show. We sit down with your favorite comedians and we find it at the group to be classy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Or if they're just a big old piece of trash. Trash, trash, trash. I'm your host, H. Foley. Coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tooties in a new edition. She's upstairs in a room watching a little Rockford Files.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Loves that James Garner.

[C]

Sure.

[A]

It's a very popular show in the 70s. Kevin Mike cohes is coming at you from right next to me. He is the CEO of RU Garbage. He is an international businessman and my best palace the whole wide world, and I love them. Give it up for kj Kevin. James Ryan, everybody.

[B]

What up, gang? Shout out to you. Thanks for tuning in as always. Please make sure you rate, view, subscribe on itunes. Full video available on YouTube. Full video available over there on Spotify. And the boys are climbing the charts.

[A]

That's actually true this week.

[B]

And then the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com. are you garbage? You go over there, you get all that bonus content, gang.

[A]

Yes, sir. And gang, we couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly, and I mean incredibly special guest here with us today for the first time. He is a legendary standup comedian, actor, and podcaster. And you might have seen him in but not limited to. Now. I got to hold this up. I don't have my contact lenses in. Gang, strap in, but get ready for this. You got the Wayans Brothers, Daddy Daycare. All right. You got Little Man, House of Pain, who made the potato salad? Which has been brought up multiple times on this year program as one of the funniest movies ever. Think Like a Man, Meet the Blacks, Undercutter, Undercover Brother 2, BET Comic View, the Soul Train Awards, Good Morning America, the Late Show, Rachael Ray, Steve Harvey, Hip Hop Squares, Wild n Out, the D.L. hughley Show, Maury, the Breakfast Club. He has his own podcast, get something near every week. And his specials include. You ready for this?

[B]

This guy's a goddamn worker.

[A]

Broken family, black famous. Doing what I do. I got my associates. I agree with myself. True story. Breaking out the park. And he's on his tour right now, the no Hard Feelings tour. Ladies and gentlemen, the one, the only Gary Owen.

[C]

So really accomplished.

[B]

You should man.

[A]

I'm sweating after that.

[B]

He hasn't read that much in 20 years.

[A]

I know, right, buddy, we are fucking huge, big fans.

[B]

I Appreciate coming out.

[C]

No, this is awesome.

[B]

That's. You know, what's. So, yeah, what's. What's the background? A little bit.

[A]

Yeah. Give us the, Give us the backstory of the origin story. We know it's been covered a little bit, but we want, we want to hear it.

[B]

Ohio boy.

[C]

Cincinnati.

[B]

Cincinnati proper or outskirts of Cincinnati?

[C]

Outskirts. Well, in the beginning, it was outskirts vibe. I always, I always say it's depending on who my mom was dating. Kind of moving around, Right.

[B]

Strike number one on the show.

[C]

Welcome to the show. And then we was 10. I was 10. We moved into a trailer park outside of Cincinnati.

[A]

Where were you before that? Like, what kind of a. What kind of housing?

[C]

Apartments.

[A]

All right.

[C]

Apartment hopping. We had a little, little house at one point, but nothing big. Pretty much apartments. And then trailer park. Small town called Hamilton, Ohio, which is right outside of Oxford, Ohio, which is.

[B]

If you're on the outskirts of an outskirt, that's pretty bad.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then joined the Navy when I was 17. Was in the Navy for six years and then started doing stand up when I was in the Navy. So I always knew I wanted to be a stand up. I just didn't know how do you do it?

[B]

What it was. Yeah, exactly.

[C]

So how do you. I was like, how do you do that? So you guys remember Ray Combs, used to host Family Feud? Committed suicide. Yeah. Like in the 90s, man.

[B]

We are in. We are in it right now.

[C]

Right? So he had a comedy club in Cincinnati, and it was a funny bone, but I think he owned it. And I used to go, right. My senior of high school. And then when I was in the Navy, when I would come home on leave, I'd go to this comedy club and sit outside. And I was too young to get in at first. And I'd listen to comics outside at the door.

[A]

Shit.

[C]

So I can just imagine who was coming through there at that time, talking early 90s. So I just remember I'd be rating him and I'd never been on stage yet. I'd be like, this, oh, that guy's terrible. Or I'd be like, oh, that guy's really good. That guy's got. Yeah, I know. Like, oh, that guy's going places.

[A]

Yeah. And so it's like a Ray Charles story.

[C]

And then. But there was a funny. Because there was a. There was a black door guy. I just remember he had a ball head, had a big hoop earring, almost like a black Mr. Clean. But he would always ask, like, what are you doing here? I Was like, I'm a stand up. I've never been on stage before.

[B]

Love the confidence.

[C]

He would sit me. He got so cool with me. He'd sit me at his little high top that he'd sit in the back of the room and he'd always, like, bring me Pepsis and burgers and I didn't have any money.

[B]

That's awesome.

[C]

And we. We'd be back there rating comics.

[B]

Dude, guy's never been on stage.

[C]

This guy's terrible. This guy's awful.

[B]

But, you know, you're not. You want this, you know, you want the staff's validation a lot of times, because they've seen everybody, everybody. And they've seen everybody 20 times. So it's like, if you can get the waiters and the waitress. That's a good.

[C]

Yeah, I think, you know, it's. It's a. An underrated part of our business, and. And I think it means a lot to me personally is when the waist staff comes up and thanks you at the end of the week. I've literally had a waitress come and goes. You paid my rent for the month.

[B]

We've gotten that as well. And it's very nice.

[C]

Yeah, feels great.

[A]

Got a lot of boozers in our crowd.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, you guys do. No, no. I've known you guys five minutes. No. Are you serious?

[A]

Let's go back to your childhood. Is it just. Is it just you and your mom? Are you an only child?

[C]

For a while it was me and my mom, and then. Then she got married. This dude named Rodney. It's never a good name. Rodney.

[B]

Rodney and Randy's are bad news, right?

[A]

Look, I assume you didn't get along with Rodney. No, the way you said that.

[C]

Listen, if don't. If you have. If those of you that don't have kids yet, don't name your son Rodney, because as an adult, you will get this phone call. Hey, you hear what happened to Rodney?

[A]

I grew up with Rodney. He was a good friend of mine. Shout out to Rodney Klein. He's a good kid.

[C]

What's he doing now?

[A]

They called him the hot rod. He's a.

[B]

Making something up is what you're doing.

[A]

He's a gym and health teacher at a very good high school. Well, that does very well.

[C]

That's the only halfway successful Rodney I've ever heard of.

[A]

Now, I will say this. Rodney as a stepdad is a tough look. Yeah, I'll give you that.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

What's up, Rodney?

[C]

So, yeah, that was a bad look from jump. From jump. I Was like, ah, this guy.

[A]

And how. Mom, were you in the trailer park from 10 till when you left for the Navy and 17. Was Rodney in there with you?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Did Rodney have kids?

[C]

He had one daughter, but she didn't live with us.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

That was. Michelle's cool, though.

[A]

Man, you are a mess.

[B]

Shell was cool, dude. If there's anybody built for this show, Mr. Owen.

[C]

And then they had my mom and Rodney had three kids.

[A]

Oh, really? All right.

[C]

And then. And then my dad, who I didn't really know that much, he had twins.

[A]

So at the same time. Around the same time.

[C]

No, a little bit after I was. So my mom and dad had me in high school, so I. I was so much older.

[B]

Jeez.

[C]

Then I don't. I'm not. Than all my brothers and sisters.

[A]

Of course.

[C]

So much older.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I don't have that whole. We grew up together.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Roughhouse. And I don't have that story.

[B]

Well, you. The biggest gap. I'm sorry.

[C]

No.

[B]

Between you and a sibling.

[C]

19 years. 19. So.

[B]

Jesus Christ.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

When you were. When. When Rodney and your mom had the three kids.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Were all five of you living in that trailer?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Double wide.

[C]

No, that'd be six. Three. Rodney, my mom and me. Six of us.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

And then his. His daughter would come in every now and then. Or seven.

[A]

So. Yeah. Break that down.

[B]

Where's everybody sleeping?

[C]

Yeah. Well, I. It was funny looking at me like I'm crazy.

[B]

I know. Like, this is a Norma.

[C]

So I had my own room. Wild mom and Ronnie had their room, obviously. So all the other three was in. In the other room because they were. They were close. Today they're bunk beds.

[B]

Gotcha.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[C]

Slept together. And then my sister slept on the.

[A]

That's not bad. What were the vacations like growing up?

[C]

Oh, there's no vacation.

[B]

Not one.

[A]

Not one.

[C]

One. Hold on. One vacation with the. Cocoa Beach, Florida.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

I saw my first hooker.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

I'll never forget it, because Rodney had an Uncle Frederick. And just by chance, Uncle Frederick woke me up and goes, hey, we went for a ride on the beach and stuff. And then I saw this guy walking in the gas station. Get one of them tall boy Budweisers, and I go, it's awful early for a beer. He had two of them. He went in the car and this girl was like sitting outside the car and he handed a beer and she was smoking a cigarette. And he looked like the happiest guy on the planet. Fast forward. Like six hours later, we're driving around Cocoa beach and I see that girl in the middle of the road. And I go, hey, Frederick, that's the.

[B]

Girl from the ghetto.

[C]

He goes, oh, she hooking. She hooking. I go, what? I'm 10. What does that mean?

[A]

You need to ride back to the gas station to find your husband.

[C]

I go, that's the first hooker I ever saw. Cocoa Beach.

[A]

Wait.

[B]

Hooking.

[A]

You stay.

[B]

Was Rodney white or black?

[C]

White.

[B]

Okay. I did not think that.

[C]

No, Rodney's white, but he had. He had every black.

[B]

Cause Uncle Freddy sounded black, man.

[A]

You got a lot of balls asking that.

[B]

I wanted to know.

[C]

But he. Rodney had every bad black stereotype. Every time. Every stereotype black people that get upset about. I go, that's Rodney. No job. I'm talking in and out of jail.

[B]

I know the stereotype.

[C]

Oh, my God, dude. So when black people was too much, I was like this. I was like, wait a minute. That's Rodney.

[A]

Wait, the vacation was. You guys drove to Cocoa Beach, Florida, from Cincinnati. From Cincinnati, Yeah. Which you didn't pick up on that, Kevin, they drove.

[B]

I paid that.

[C]

No air conditioning.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Talk about hell.

[B]

What was the family car at that time, do you remember?

[C]

Station wagon. But it was like a blue one that was like. I don't know. I'm sure it was a piece of.

[A]

Who drove? Your mom or Rodney?

[C]

They switched off and on. They switched off and on.

[A]

And you stayed at his uncle's?

[C]

Uncle Frederick's.

[A]

Uncle Frederick's. I assume this wasn't on the beach.

[C]

No, it's.

[A]

There's a bit inland on the outskirts, as you might say, Mr. Owen.

[B]

They could have seawater.

[C]

Plan was. I was like, why did we move into the trailer? I guess the plan was Ronnie paint it. Right. Like, not like. Yeah, no. Like, what do you think he's doing?

[A]

Still life. Like, paints houses?

[C]

No, he was. No, he would paint, like, signs and stuff. Oh, really? Okay. So he was halfway. He was talented.

[B]

Talented. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Uncle Frederick was also a painter, so he clearly was a family trait. The plan was. I found out later. So how do we get stuck in this trailer? Rodney convinced my mom because Rodney didn't have a job to get the trailer. And then we'll move the trailer down to Cocoa beach and he's going to start this side business with Uncle Frederick.

[B]

Not bad.

[C]

That's all the vacation? Well, Uncle Frederick died a year later after we went to Coco beach, so that went away.

[B]

Damn. All right.

[A]

He didn't get anything from Uncle Frederick's estate? No.

[C]

Got some brushes, some paintbrushes, two gallons. A primer.

[A]

Had to go down and get him. All right, so he painted. He would paint like. Like in the front window. Like, if it's Christmas time, he would.

[C]

Do that type of stuff.

[A]

I love that kind of stuff. All right, fair enough. What did your mom do for work?

[C]

Worked at a factory.

[A]

She worked at a factory. What kind of factory?

[C]

It was called Connectors. I don't know what they connected, but it was called connect. It looked like one of the factories. From an officer and a gentleman. Okay, way to go, Paula. Way to go. That's what it reminded me of when I would go visit her at work.

[A]

Rodney walking in and carrying her out.

[C]

Well, that's where they met. Rodney worked there.

[A]

Really?

[C]

And they met at Connectors. And then he quit because he can't handle people telling him what to do. He was one of the guys that would try to fight and argue with everybody. So he quit. But he met my mom there.

[A]

Okay, that is like officer to gentlemen. That's wild.

[B]

And how long did they stay together?

[C]

They're still together.

[B]

They're still together. I did not see that coming. Good for shout out Rodney.

[A]

How are the kids doing?

[C]

Okay.

[B]

We're about to get dark.

[C]

Whatever. Go for one brother died. Heroin overdose.

[A]

Sorry.

[B]

Sorry to hear that.

[C]

Other brother was dealing and using and he. He got. They found him in a parking lot of a Myers grocery store. He was. He got beat up really bad by some drug dealers. He ripped off. So he's got like the brain of a four year old now.

[B]

Sorry.

[C]

And then I got my sister. She's. She's a kindergarten teacher.

[A]

All right, that's. It does. Are they still in the trailer?

[C]

No, they're in a house now.

[A]

Nice. All right, so.

[C]

But I don't. I don't talk to any of them anymore.

[B]

Any.

[A]

Anybody at all? No mom, Rodney? Nobody.

[B]

Not even the parents?

[C]

No.

[B]

Hey, good for you.

[C]

Yeah, it got. It got.

[B]

I got a similar situation. Good for you.

[C]

It got sticky. In 2014, I did an article for Buzzfeed. Buzzfeed.com. and they were. The article was about how did a white guy become one of the top black comics in this country? That was what the article was about.

[A]

Sure.

[C]

One paragraph of an eight page article that you can look up. Go to buzzfeed. You can look it up. Is about Rodney. And all they said was the. The guy that did the article, he went back and interviewed. He interviewed my mom, he interviewed, like, my principal, old military buddies. Just all these people at different stages of my life. Rodney wouldn't get on the phone. He goes, dude, your Stepdad won't get on the phone. And I said, oh, he's an asshole. He's an asshole. He's not getting on the phone. Well, he put that in the article, which I don't. I didn't care. And then when it came out, Rodney. That's when my mom and Rodney went. Left my mom especially, because I kind of. The family secret got let out. Ronnie's an asshole, but everybody knows he's an asshole.

[B]

They're not gonna like this program.

[A]

That's what he was worried about.

[C]

And then Buzz.

[A]

How did your mom find BuzzFeed?

[C]

I don't know. But then my mom. That's what I'm saying.

[B]

I got 20 bucks. That's right. I don't have a computer to read BuzzFeed.

[C]

Yeah. So I just remember my mom texted me saying, you know, how could you do this to us? You know, you don't know all the emails I'm getting. And, you know, the sarcasm just came out the wrong camera. So I looked at Mom. I said, mom, let's be honest. Two or three emails, it wasn't a bunch. I go look at the article. There's literally like 16 comments.

[B]

It's also, nobody read. There's such. There's so much positive about you achieving stuff, and it's like you're. They get caught up on the one.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's kind of like the family secret out, though.

[B]

Yeah, of course. I get.

[C]

You know what I mean? What?

[A]

That there.

[C]

Rodney's an asshole.

[A]

That's the family secret.

[C]

That was the family. But everybody knows it.

[B]

I know.

[C]

I guarantee you when he passes away, you could. You could. You could have had the funeral.

[B]

Have it here.

[C]

Nobody showing up.

[B]

Back to child. Were you a good student?

[C]

Average.

[B]

Average.

[C]

Okay. I take a lot of pride because I think my. I remember my graduating class was, let's say, 250 around there, and I was 125. And I remember telling people, I am the only guy that's in the top and bottom half of the meaty part.

[A]

Of the curve right in the middle. Look at that.

[B]

Not showing off.

[A]

Not falling behind as George Kissinger.

[B]

Average as could be.

[C]

But I was pretty popular. I was prom king.

[B]

No shit.

[A]

Athlete?

[C]

Nope. Class clown.

[A]

Class clown.

[C]

Most obnoxious.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

I was really upset, though, that I didn't get Most Likely to Be Famous. Like, it really bothered me because I used to host all the talent shows, and it went to this guy named Chris Jones who was going in the Air Force Academy. And I remember at graduation I said, hey, Chris, pilots are only famous when they wreck.

[B]

A little bit of Rodney channel in there.

[A]

A little bit of an asshole yourself.

[B]

Holy shit. I like it.

[C]

Hey, man, you're proud of your environment?

[A]

Whatever happened to the guy?

[C]

I think he's a college professor now.

[A]

Okay?

[C]

He did.

[A]

Well, you're way more famous.

[B]

I don't even know that guy.

[A]

You said you were the. You were the prom king. Who'd you take to prom? Was it a date or was it. Did you go with friends?

[C]

I wasn't going. I was going to go to a Reds game, and then I got on prom court, so I had kind of had to go.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

So we just kind of found me a date, huh? And here's the funny part, because all the girls were taken at my school. So everybody. I got phone calls from different girls and guys, I go over here, date her. So they found this cute girl that went to another high school. Mm. She said she would go with me. It wasn't like I really asked. She just said, yeah, I'll go, right? So I didn't really know her. Well, here's the funny part. We go, she was cute. I was like, oh, she's cute. I thought we were vibing. I get the prom king.

[B]

I'm like, you know, come on, it doesn't get better.

[C]

The crown, the sash.

[A]

I'm like, little prima nocta.

[C]

I'm thinking we're making out, something. Yo, you go to prom. Then after prom was at my buddy's house, and we went in the basement. And I'm not lying, there had to be eight couples. And they're all making holding on each other. I'm going, what's up? And she goes, why am. I go. And I went, what? She left, right? I said, well, she says, my brother lives. Whatever. I'm a walk. I saw walking. She goes, no, no, no, you don't need to walk me. I was like, huh. So fast forward 17, 18 years later, the funny bone opens up in Cincinnati. Guess who my green room waitress is.

[B]

No shit.

[A]

Get the fuck out of here.

[C]

The girl from prom. And I went, she walked in, I go. I looked at her and I'm like, she looks familiar. Because I only met her once. Really? One night.

[B]

Sure.

[C]

She kept looking. And I go, did I take you to prom? And she's like, no, no. And I go, I think I did. And I go, it's cool. And then she admitted to it. She goes, I thought you think I was a bitch. And I go, no, no. We were freaking 17. I'm not tripping. She was cool, but I was just like, I can't look, and like, there's no way this is happening right now.

[B]

That's why.

[C]

Talk about a full circle moment.

[A]

That is full circle.

[C]

And she felt bad, too. So, you know, she goes.

[B]

Did she give you any reason why she bounced or anything?

[C]

I mean, it's obvious she wasn't attractive.

[B]

I mean, I picked. I didn't want to.

[C]

It's obvious. I can lie.

[A]

You gotta rub it into guys.

[C]

She wasn't attracted to me specifically.

[A]

Did she say what it was she wasn't attracted to?

[C]

No.

[A]

I don't know. What's wrong with you?

[C]

I don't know. Sorry.

[B]

I'm sorry.

[C]

That's obvious.

[A]

Hey, you really struck out there, Gary.

[B]

Bit of a loser now, Ken.

[A]

What's talking about aura frames? Let's talk about aura frames. They got. They got the copy here. Script one, the easiest gift to give. Let me tell you something, aura frames. We don't need the script.

[B]

We're going off script.

[A]

We're going off script because these things sell themselves.

[B]

You don't walk in the lot unless.

[A]

You want to buy. And you better get over there to your frames lot because they're the best in the biz. Digital frame.

[B]

Guys. The big man ain't frigging lying. We've said it once, we said it a million times.

[A]

Favorite things.

[B]

We're two bozos. Always been bozos. You got Christmas, Christmas, all these holidays, birthdays, Mother's Day, Valentine's Day. Take the thought process out. We are not sweet, kind people. We're idiots. Aura frames makes us sweet and kind. Oh, my God. You got us the picture frame and you preloaded it with pictures of the baby. Do you know on our vacation, on.

[A]

Our anniversary, what you look like when you ship one of these things? When you come in with an aura.

[B]

Frame, talking about a carver mat frame.

[A]

And you're a dirt ball.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Your grandmother, she'll drop dead of a heart attack right there. And then you got more pictures.

[B]

Hopefully you're in a will number one by Wirecutter. You can save on the perfect gift by visiting Oraframes.com for a limited time. Listeners can get $35 off their best selling Carver mat frame with the COD. That's Aura. Aura frames.com promo code. Garbage. Support the show by mentioning us at checkout. Terms and conditions apply to it.

[A]

Love you, gang. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Yes, we know it's February. We know Valentine's Day is coming up. A lot of times you see other Couples. And you think, oh, they have it together, especially on that Instagram, and they have the perfect life and all that stuff. Listen, everybody's just as fucked up as everybody, okay? And if you're going through something you haven't figured out, you know, you know, your soulmate or relationship trouble or anything like that, talk therapy can help. So get on BetterHelp. Get yourself straightened out.

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[A]

Get it out and get it out.

[B]

Lead the lines.

[A]

Lead the line.

[B]

As they say in H vac. Lead them, baby. Right now you could sign up and get 10% [e-mail] garbage one more time. That's betterhelp.com garbage. Take the steps to find your way today. Put that in your pipe and pipe down.

[A]

Huh?

[B]

What was your first job?

[C]

Picking strawberries. Strawberry farm. Dude.

[B]

Who are you? Yeah, that's crazy.

[A]

First of all, you don't. You weren't going to go to prom.

[B]

You were going to go to a Reds game and then one prom king.

[A]

Just the way you said Reds.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You're garbage. I never think I've ever, like, really met a Cincinnati Reds fan. Shout out to them. I love them. But Die hard. Wow, man.

[C]

No, I. There was a strawberry farm and in Ohio, this is right after my freshman year of high school, so going to software. So I was 14, 15.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

But I got really good at it because, you know, the strawberries real low, the plants are low. So what we would do, we had these trays and you could fit eight quarts on a tray, so 16 quarts. Right. So I would.

[B]

You.

[C]

I gotta. I would get elbow pads and knee pads because I'm crawling, I'm not getting up. And I would twist them and pick, twist and pick them. And you fill it up, take them in. So I think we got 35 cents a quart. Wow. If I remember correctly, I could go through. I could do 32 quarts an hour. What's that, like 11 bucks an hour, right?

[B]

Yeah, something like that.

[C]

What's 0.35 times 32?

[A]

Doing strawberry math right now.

[C]

1120. 1120 an hour.

[B]

Damn.

[C]

It's not bad.

[B]

That's pretty good.

[C]

14, 15 year old.

[B]

That's great. That's more than what I was making before this took off.

[C]

But I was Good. I was quick. And then it was literally. It was on a farm. And the farmer's wife, they were a little older. She would always come out. It was like, out of movie. They had this big old tree and a picnic table. And all of us would go, lunch. And she always make these, like, great, like, chicken salad or tuna salad sandwiches. And she had the iced tea with the whole.

[A]

No shit.

[C]

The big glass cups and the big glass lemons. Yeah.

[B]

And stuff.

[C]

It was like. I was like, lunch was amazing.

[A]

It's like a John Steinbeck novel.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

It's crazy.

[C]

And then we always got paid under the table on Fridays was payday. And the girl that paid us would give you. She'd give you your money, and she'd give you a payday candy bar to go with. It was like, it's payday, so it's kind of a cool job.

[A]

That's adorable.

[B]

That's so cute.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know what I mean?

[A]

I was gonna start trashing you. Like, you couldn't find a busboy job somewhere.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah. I had so much money because I was, like, at that age.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

Because I was.

[A]

Man.

[C]

I was there before the sun came up because you want to get a couple hours before the sun came up. Because once the sun came up, you know, July, August, hot. So you get a couple hours in and then lunch, and then, you know, it was easier when that. When it was dark out.

[A]

Jesus, that is something else. What'd you get in the SATs?

[C]

I never took it.

[B]

You do acts?

[C]

No. Never took either.

[B]

How'd you get in the military? Don't they. Isn't that something they check?

[C]

No, just ASVAB tabs. All you take for the military.

[A]

You just have a high school diploma, right?

[C]

That's it.

[A]

Was that your way out, I assume.

[C]

Yeah. Well, my senior high school, I would say December, it was around Christmas time. My best friend is still my best friend this day. He had already joined the Navy. He literally woke me up on a Saturday morning, and he was like, gary, get up, get up, get up. And I go, huh. Still to this day, I know how he got in the trailer. Like, my mom or Rod had to let him in. And like, what are you doing? He goes, he literally got married. You got to get out of here. You got to get out. I said, what are you talking about? He goes, what are you doing? After high school, I go, I figured out. I always said I was gonna be a comedian, right? He said, you gotta get out. So him and his dad drove me down to the recruiting station. And I met with the Marines, the Army and the Navy. I don't know where the Air Force and Coast Guard was, but they wasn't in that building. So I met with all three. And the Navy guy was the most honest. And I was like, that seems the safest too. And I told him, I said, I'm not big on outside. Like, I don't want to be outside painting a ship because I heard horses.

[B]

You got a strawberry field that I'm.

[C]

All I know, but I want to be in the desert with guns at me. I go, dude, we got so many jobs in air conditioning. So I was like, all right. So I, I joined the Navy, but that's why I joined, because I was like. And then I was like, all right. I thought you had to become a stand up. You had to live in California, live in la. I didn't know you could start whatever town you live in.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

So I was like, who's, who's got the most bases? I go, I think Navy is on the coast, so I can get to California. I'll be all right. So that's how I joined the Navy and the rest is history.

[A]

Where were you stationed?

[C]

First duty station was Washington D.C. i was in Honor guard. So we were like, you see the funerals and the parades.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Spinning the rifles.

[A]

That's what you were doing from Jump Street?

[C]

Yeah, because when I was in boot camp, I was going to be what they call a yeoman, which is basically a secretary. Right. They said anybody over six feet tall with a 34 inch waist come down the field house. So six, two. I was skinny, went down there and they did this whole video of what the honor guard's about. And it makes you just be like, every guy wanted to join. So Everybody signed up. Four of us made it. Only four of like 100 guys because what we didn't know, they were doing background checks on you because you're on the White House lawn, you're really close to the President. They can't have somebody freaking out. So I didn't know.

[B]

Somebody going rogue.

[C]

Yeah, right. So I didn't know they were doing all this because, you know, we did this like the second week of boot camp. Boot camps, eight weeks. So it was like the week before. So it was five weeks later. They said, gary, you made it. I said, made what? I forgot about it. They go, the Honor guard, do you still want to go? I was like, oh, yeah. So I didn't know. They went back and checked like police records. They interviewed like the, the chief of police My principal, all these people I.

[B]

Didn'T know, they vet. Yeah, yeah, they vet you.

[C]

And then I got in. And then, then when you get to D.C. you, there's like maybe state, 60 guys, I think less than 20 made it the whole two years because you do anything wrong, you're out. Any drunk and disorderly, something smart mouth cop pulling you over, you're gone.

[A]

So what exactly did you do? Like the military funerals at Arlington Cemetery, that type of stuff, you would do the thing.

[C]

Yeah, those are called body bears. The body bears, you carry the casket. It depends on your body type. So body bears were the bulky ones. They would do this. And then the drill team was like, like the Navy SEALs of could you.

[A]

Flip the guns around?

[C]

And I could, but I wasn't on the drill team. You, you learned the basic movements of the rifle. Tight, you know, but you don't. I'm not. The whole. Throwing it this way, catching it with the bayonet, that was the drill team. Sure, that's. I didn't do that, but I did. Yeah, we did the funeral, we did the inauguration for Clinton.

[A]

No.

[B]

You went to the White House.

[C]

Yeah, we're on the White House lawn.

[B]

Yeah. I'm just saying, you might have probably the first guest that's been to the White White House.

[C]

Well, he never went in.

[B]

We're on the lawn.

[C]

And then they had a little shouting out.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

But we, so when you, what happens is when you get to dc, you got this thing called trainer platoon.

[B]

You never popped in once? They never let you in?

[C]

No.

[A]

With the lunch and the ice cake. Billy, it's me, Gary.

[B]

So they're all Clinton. Yeah.

[C]

What was cool about it though was like, so when you, when you get to dc, you got this thing called train a platoon, which is another two months of, of training to become a guardsman. Right. But then when you, you cross. So they say you cross. So you cross, you get a jacket. They give you a nickname. My nickname is Smiley because I was always smiling. And the back of the jacket says U.S. navy Presidential Honor Guard and has the seal on it. So you wear that everywhere. You're trying to get girls with it.

[B]

Damn.

[C]

Right.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

You'd be at the mall just hanging out and vibing. Dude, when you went to the White House, they always had M and M's, but the White House with the presidential seal on it. Right. We would take those M and M's, put in our bag and, you know, you just sit there in the mall with your jack in the M and M's, like trying Me? Girls, what are you doing? I was at Pennsylvania Avenue, right? No big deal. You know? Not a big deal. Yeah. Dick Cheney smells like Old Spice. Does he? He does.

[A]

That's awesome.

[B]

Holy.

[A]

Wait, so how long did you do that?

[C]

Two. Two years.

[A]

Two years and then where'd they send you?

[C]

Or was that San Diego?

[A]

Okay, not bad.

[C]

So two years in honor guard. If you make it two years through the honor guard, you get to either at this time, pick your duty station or pick your job that you qualify for.

[B]

Gotcha.

[C]

So I was like, I just want to make some money and I want to get to the West Coast. And they was like. I was like, mastered arms, which is a cop. They just opened it up. So I was like, oh, yeah, I'll do that. So I went to the police academy in San Antonio.

[B]

What?

[C]

And then I got stationed out in San Diego.

[A]

Wait, was it a Navy police academy or.

[C]

Yeah, Navy police academy. Okay. Yeah, but it's regular police academy.

[B]

Like the police academy on the base, though?

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you know, bases, we have base housing, we have nightclubs, we have everything. Except we don't get a lot of murders, obviously, but you get domestic violence, you get DUIs, you. It's every. It's a little city, self enclosed, but you know everybody. So you're not pulling over a guy you don't know. You're pulling over like, bro, what are you doing?

[B]

Rodney, you again.

[A]

Oh, that's awesome.

[C]

That's why I let everybody go, because I knew everybody.

[A]

Like, everybody's numbers were terrible.

[B]

Yeah, Larry, you gotta write one ticket.

[C]

I know, right?

[A]

And then you did that until doing your five years were up?

[C]

Yeah, I did that for four years. And then I was. I was out. But I started doing stand up while I was in the Navy. So when I got stationed in San Diego, I was like, all right, I'm gonna get in the phone book, I'm showing my age and start looking up comedy clubs. My first day in San Diego, I would call this place called the Comic Castle, okay? And I said, hey, how's it going, man? You got open mic? Guy goes, hold on, let me check. And I went, huh? He comes back, he goes, I can't find him.

[B]

What?

[C]

What are you talking about? He goes, I can't find him. I go, wait a minute, is this a comedy club? He goes, no, this is a comic book store. He was looking for a superhero named Open Mic.

[B]

That's great.

[C]

He gave me the number to the Comedy Store, though, and said, dude, if you're trying to be a stand Up. Call the Comedy Store. So call the Comedy Store. Open mic was Sunday nights.

[B]

Is this the La Jolla one or the La Jolla? Gotcha.

[C]

We love that room.

[B]

Great room.

[C]

Open mic was Sunday nights. And went up the first Sunday and did about as bad as you can do.

[B]

Been there, Daddy. O.

[A]

Because was there last night.

[C]

Oh, really? Well, I did bad because I was. I was 20, so I wasn't of age. So, you know, open mic. I never been to one of these. I'm going up at, like, one in the morning at this point. There's 10 people in the audience, but there's still 20 comics in the back. The comics aren't heckling, but they do what comics do to disrupt you. So if I would do, like, a setup, they'd be like. But wouldn't let me get through the plan. I'm going like this. And I could hear them like every. They wouldn't get. Let me get to a joke. And I only got these five minutes. I've been working out my brain. I don't. I can't go right or left. So I just remember I had a beer in my hand and I said, hey, all you comics in the back. I go, go ahead and keep yelling out and heckling. I go, I'm only 20 years old. I've been drinking this place all night. Why don't I call the cops and shut this motherfucker down?

[A]

Jesus.

[C]

When I say the lights went off, the mic went off. Two guys came out of nowhere, grabbed me by the back of my shirt and literally winged me out of the front door. I did, like, a front roll.

[A]

I'm a cop, goddamn it.

[B]

I. Get your hands off.

[C]

There was a guy named Fred who. He had the crutches. He won America's. He won the hundred thousand dollars on America's Funniest Home Videos. Back in the day. He was the GM of the place. I just remember he has little crutches, and he stood over me. He goes, don't ever come back. And I was like. I got up, I dusted myself off, and I went, all right, I can't come back here. But I know I could talk shit. So I took a little solace out of it. So it took me about almost a year to get back on stage because I didn't know where else to go. So then a couple of guys in the Navy, I started talking to him about it, and they was like, man, you can go here, here. But it was. It was black guys I was hanging out with, so it was all black rooms. A Lot of white comics didn't want to go there. So that's really what got me started, in quote unquote, being in all the black shows, everything.

[A]

Enter Gary Owen.

[B]

Yeah, crazy.

[A]

Love it.

[C]

But that's where I started. And then Wednesday, though, there was a place called El Torito. They did karaoke on Wednesday nights. So I would start going there and tell jokes instead of singing songs.

[B]

That's always crazy.

[C]

It came kind of cool because the first day was a little rough, but I was ready because I already got. I already got kicked out of Comedy Store. So this is like, probably eight months later, I'm getting the nerve to go back on stage. But I remember thinking, all right, I already know what to do now, so just power through your jokes. They're probably gonna be paying attention. You're good. So mainly, I was ready. Karaoke. The bar is in the same room as the. The microphone. So I was like. I fought through all the chatter, got a couple laughs. I go, okay, I'm in the game now. And then I kept going back on Wednesdays.

[B]

Did you tell them you were gonna do this?

[C]

Yeah, yeah, I told the guy.

[B]

Okay. I was gonna say it got.

[A]

What music do you want, sir? I don't need any music.

[C]

No, I did straight up.

[A]

He.

[C]

But he brought me up, right? It got to a point that's fun. Where months later, people would get quiet because they'd be like, oh, this is good. Funny, dude. He gonna tell jokes. And it was kind of cool because literally, the host would be like, all right, you guys, I know what time it is. Gary's here. And then I start bringing other comics. You know what I mean? It became like, half karaoke, half comedy.

[B]

That's crazy.

[C]

But here's the crazy part.

[A]

That guy was black.

[C]

San Diego. Yeah, that guy was black. His name was Rand.

[B]

Dude. Randy's every.

[A]

So you know what time it is, man.

[C]

Here's the cool part about that time frame.

[A]

Nothing better than that.

[C]

I got back into the comic store. I went back and humbled myself and apologized. Just me. I was getting heckled. I'm really sorry. He goes, come back Sunday. Same guy, Fred. He's like, I'm gonna put you up for five minutes. Let's see what you got. So I went for five minutes. I got off. He goes, all right, Gary, you're good. You know, well, when I would do the. When I would do the Comedy Store and got to know all those comics, Bobby Lee was there. Open micin.

[B]

Shout out.

[C]

Bobby Lee from that time when I would do the black Rooms, Nick Cannon was there. So those were the two crazy comics in my world at that time that hit. There was obviously a ton of other open Microsoft.

[B]

There's a chance you could have been a Korean comic. If you didn't, you chose Korean. And the Nick Cannon.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. Or mirror. Mariah Carey. One or the other.

[A]

Exact it.

[C]

All right.

[A]

Damn, man. What a tail.

[B]

That's nuts.

[A]

Let's talk about now. Where are you living now? Houston. You live in Houston?

[C]

Houston, Texas.

[B]

That's a black ass city too.

[A]

Kind of car do you drive? 75 Catal?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

How's your sugar? Not good.

[B]

Yeah, Same with ours. Okay.

[A]

You live in Houston?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

How long you been in Houston?

[C]

Five years.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Houston proper or outskirts?

[C]

Always outskirts.

[A]

That's a little nicer suburbs.

[B]

I'm sure. The suburbs.

[C]

Sienna.

[A]

Yeah, a suburb. Not the outskirts.

[B]

There's a difference between the suburbs and the.

[C]

That's the suburbs.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Good neighborhood.

[B]

Yeah, I figured you're doing.

[C]

There's no Rodney's in the neighborhood.

[B]

You're doing quite well. Okay.

[A]

You got a pool to house.

[C]

It's being built right now. Very ready. Middle March was.

[B]

Did you build the house or bought the house?

[C]

Built the house.

[B]

You did? Look at.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

See, this is what we're talking about.

[B]

Love it.

[A]

This is what we're talking.

[B]

All right. What? All right. So we. The pools are pretty big.

[A]

Yeah, nice.

[B]

Pools are a pretty big subject. We don't have them. But are you doing salt water or fresh water?

[C]

I believe fresh. I'm not sure.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

I gotta find out.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

In ground pool lights?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. I don't know.

[B]

Okay. Are you doing like. They call it the beach entry, like where you can.

[C]

No sand?

[B]

No, it's not sand, but you can walk. You can walk into it rather than like you. You know what I mean?

[A]

Not steps.

[B]

There's no stairs. It's a gradual.

[C]

Yeah, it is gradual.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. There is a drop off though, at some point.

[A]

What's the. Is there a hot tub connected to it? Nice waterfall flows over.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Well, outdoor setup.

[C]

There is nice place to watch the game outside. I always wanted. And this one was good because I always want the sunken area to watch the game. This one's got the pool and then it's got the little sunken area that's covered because Houston's hot and you just watch the game out there, relax.

[A]

What game are we talking? Is it football? Still a big Reds fan? Cincinnati Reds.

[C]

Well, I'm more football. I'm more of a football guy now.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Bengals are my. My team, of course.

[A]

Understandable.

[B]

That overhang, the COVID that covers it. You got a. Is there a fan?

[C]

There will be a fan.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah, that's.

[A]

What. Did you build the house?

[C]

Two years ago, we moved in.

[A]

Two years ago, we moved in. Very nice.

[B]

All right, and what is the car? Day to day car.

[C]

Mine's an Audi. I like that. Like the. I got the S8. I like the Audi.

[A]

And who's the other one?

[C]

My. My lady. She's got the electric Escalade, the new one.

[B]

We got.

[C]

We got the twins, so we need an suv.

[B]

Sure.

[C]

I tried to sell her minivan, but she wasn't having it.

[A]

Really?

[C]

Minivans are nice.

[B]

They're nice. They're so nice. If they were a little cooler. Yeah, I. I just. I'm trying to buy a bigger car.

[C]

You know who had a minivan when he played in the NFL? A lot of people know this. Deion Sanders.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

When he was in Baltimore, they said he always pulled in the minivan. It had rims on it and everything. It was. But when he opened it, it was, like, all tricked out. Yeah, but he was. Honey van. Yeah.

[A]

Wait, so you have twins? How old are the twins?

[C]

Two.

[A]

No kidding. Congratulations.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

All right, so you got you your lady, the Escalade, the Audi, the twins, the house, the pools. Coming?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Harry's killing it, but somebody.

[C]

Liquid iv.

[B]

Shout out to Liquid iv.

[A]

We got a big alert from Liquid IV this week.

[B]

Mm.

[A]

Dehydration.

[B]

Mm.

[A]

Seven possible signs you might have mild dehydration.

[B]

What are they?

[A]

You're talking about fatigue.

[B]

I'm tai ti.

[A]

Brain fog.

[B]

I'm confused.

[A]

Nausea, headache, puke. Irritability.

[B]

I got that yellow pee. Dark yellow pee.

[A]

We were just talking about that. Listen, I'm going through a little dehydration thing myself where the stakes are getting a little tight if I'm dehydrated. So do yourself a favor. Get over there, get your Liquid iv. Get hydrated, baby.

[B]

Yeah, Hydrate. Better than water alone and for longer. Liquid IV is scientifically formulated to help replenish electrolytes and fluids lost from sweat or exercise. Three times the electrolytes of the leading sports drinks. Because they're bozos.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

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[A]

Got B3, B5, B6, B12.

[B]

You take your little pouch, you open it up, you dump it in a bottle of water, you shake it up, you turn it over, turn yourself around, you do the hokey pokey, and you hydrate Yourself from inside out. That's pretty good. That did a bank cut the check right here. You show up, you start to finish with hydration from Liquid iv. The hydration multiplier is sugar free. You tear it, you pour it, you live more. Go to liquid IV.com. get 20% off your first order with the code GARBAGE at checkout. That's 20 off your first order. Code garbage liquidity.com hey there bozos and homies. The back on the block tour marches on. Get your tickets now for Austin, Texas, Tampa, Florida. We got Chicago, Illinois. We got blooming Indiana, Nashville, Los Angeles for the Netflix is a joke festival. Get them tickies. Pittsburgh, Cleveland and Denver. All Tickets on sale rugarbage.com Me and the Big man do stand up. Then we close out playing ayg with the crowd. You've seen the clips, you love them. We'll see you there.

[C]

Camp.

[A]

Let's talk about DraftKings, baby.

[B]

Shout out to the kings of the draft.

[A]

More importantly, let's talk about Super Bowl 60 because DraftKings is an official sports betting partner of Super Bowl 60. They put you right in the center of the biggest game of the year.

[B]

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[A]

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[B]

That ain't too bad. Listen, I am a big. I'm talking a big DraftKings kind of guy.

[A]

You got to place a bet.

[B]

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[A]

Them doing all that stuff makes it fun.

[B]

It makes it fun. It makes it enjoyable. Yeah, someone gnawing your fucking ear off about the commercial. Shut up about the commercials. Pass the buffalo chicken.

[A]

I mean Doritos.

[B]

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[A]

Other than that, check out DraftKings.

[B]

What's a vacation look like now? Might be tough with the twins, but.

[C]

No, we do, though. I do. I do the Bahamas twice a year. I do July 4th and I do Christmas at the Bahamar.

[B]

Very.

[C]

So I'm always there because nobody's working on Christmas, Nobody's working on July 4th. So we'll do the show July 3rd, the night before, and we'll do the show Christmas Eve. And I just go there twice a year. They take care of everything. The family, all the rooms. We bring her whole family. So they give me like, seven, eight rooms. So we just spend July 4th and we spend Christmas in the Bahamas every year.

[A]

Really? You do a show?

[C]

One show on July 3rd and December 24th.

[B]

That's old school working shit. That's. That's old road comic shit.

[C]

But it's a beautiful resort.

[B]

Do the show there.

[C]

Yeah, at the resort. We're not leaving nowhere.

[B]

I thought you were doing like, that was the last show. Then you go to the. No, no, you're doing a show there.

[C]

At the resort, is taking care of everything and we're there. Gary, it's beautiful.

[B]

Love that.

[A]

And that's your spot.

[C]

That's the spot. And this how it all came about. We were there on vacation one July 4th, and one of the guys that worked there goes, Gary Owen. Yeah. I started talking. He goes, man, we got a brand new, like, jazz club. We bring musicians and we haven't had comedians. Hey. I said, he goes, you should come. I said, shoot, call my manager. I was bullshitting with them. He calls some GM over. The guy comes over, we sit down, has a cup of coffee in a coffee shop, and he goes, so do you want to go up? And I go, I mean, I can't do it for free. He goes, well, with the visas and work permits in the Bahamas, it would get complicated. He goes, so I can't pay you. I can't really say you're Here he goes. But, you know, give me your account, and I'll take care of everything. So he. He wiped out everything. The rooms, the food, the drink.

[A]

So you're just on vacation. Do you want to go up? Like, do you want to.

[B]

There's an open spot, huh?

[C]

Like a guest spot. But I'm in the resort.

[A]

When was. How long ago was this?

[C]

This is last July.

[A]

This is last July this happened.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

So they were doing comedy there?

[B]

No, no, there was just.

[C]

It was just a. They had a new jazz club that opened up that has a stage and a microphone. Great acoustics.

[A]

Right.

[C]

So he was like, you want to do it? And since then, he's had other comics. That's the crazy part.

[A]

Now, how long were you going to do. How long did you do? Wasn't a guest bar. Oh. So, like, instead of having jazz, tonight, we're gonna have Gary Owen.

[C]

And my opener is one of my best friends. So he opened up.

[A]

He was with you?

[C]

Yeah, we take family vacations together. I like how it worked out. Perfect.

[B]

That's sick.

[A]

Was it crowded?

[C]

Sold out.

[A]

What do you mean?

[C]

But it's only, like. It only holds, like, 300, Gary.

[A]

Oh, I know, but did they do that? Did they promote it right away? Say, hey, just within the resort, they said, gary Gomez.

[C]

Garrett's gonna. Pete. He's gonna be here, whatever, Tuesday night.

[B]

Meanwhile, you're at the pool bar during the day.

[C]

During the day.

[B]

Gary Ellen.

[C]

All day.

[A]

The out of here. That's how it worked out.

[B]

That is the classiest dirt bag I ever heard. You're on vacation. You're like, I don't want to pay for this thing.

[C]

Right.

[B]

Wipe it up. I'll do 45. Yeah.

[C]

Not doing.

[A]

That's awesome. And now.

[C]

But you gotta realize, you know, the resorts say Jack at the prize on everything, so we're eating like kings. We're drinking. They give me a cabana at the pool. Yeah, they just took great care of us.

[B]

That's awesome.

[A]

And so now every year you go back to take great care of you when you do Christmas there.

[C]

Same deal.

[A]

Well, what. Where's the tree? You don't do a tree.

[C]

You know, in the room.

[A]

You have a tree in the room?

[C]

Yeah, they give me the big room.

[B]

I don't think he's. He's not on the second floor. Okay. He's doing.

[A]

He's got the Christmas tree in the resort room in the Bahama.

[B]

That's the classiest I ever heard. Whoa.

[C]

That's.

[A]

Man, that's not even classy. Trashy. That's just classy.

[B]

Look at you. Good for you guys. Yes, good for you.

[A]

Back to the house. What are the. You got a Sub Z, you got a Viking range? What are we working with?

[B]

Stainless steel appliance.

[A]

Stainless steel appliance.

[C]

Yeah, I think I do. I just live there.

[A]

Is. There is a refrigerator hidden? Can I. What? I know it's the refrigerator.

[B]

Okay, but does it. Does it have like the. The. What am I trying. The cabinet doors on it?

[A]

Yeah. Like.

[B]

Like, does it match camouflage?

[C]

Oh, no, it doesn't matter. It's silver. So it's steel.

[B]

You see it?

[C]

It's a big steel.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Nice.

[C]

There you go.

[B]

I typically ask, you know, do you know how to tie a tie? But military. The whole thing. You. For sure. How many suits do you own, do you think? Six.

[A]

Six suits.

[B]

That's good.

[A]

Anything we'd want to hear about? Armani, Anything like that?

[C]

It's funny, I gotta. I listen to George Clooney right when I got in this business. He goes, I've been on GQ's best dress list for 11 years. It's the same black suit. I just changed the undershirt and the top. He goes, they have no clue. I've had the same Versace suit for probably 15 years. You. You get it tailored. It doesn't. It is true, you get what you pay for. Because the fact that I still wear the same black suit, just about every. Any kind of black tie event, it's the same suit. And then sometimes, you know, bring the waist in, you bring the waist out. Get the, you know, depends on what the style is at time.

[B]

Tighten it up.

[C]

But it's just like, it's the same suit. And I get other suits and I wear the black one, though. I always go back to it. I get like a blue one. I'll go back to the black one.

[A]

Who's cutting your hair these days?

[C]

That's been an issue.

[A]

Why.

[B]

Why my up.

[A]

You have no issues. Christmas tree in the goddamn hotel room.

[C]

I'm in Houston. Here's the problem with black barbers. They take a long time and it's an event.

[B]

Sure.

[C]

And I just, like, I just want my hair cut. I don't want my haircut. And the phone comes out and they're. They're videotape. I'm like, dude, I'm ready to go. And then they. Sometimes they show up late. I'm going, oh, my God. And the one guy is so good. Cuts me so right. But he's like, it's like 135. I go dude, what are we doing right now? So I have. Great. I got a great barber. I know in Pittsburgh. I got a great barber. Know in Cincinnati. There's different cities, but Houston, I haven't found the person yet.

[B]

Gotcha.

[A]

How often are you getting your haircut?

[C]

Every two, two and a half weeks.

[A]

Where'd you. Where'd you get the haircut last time?

[C]

These Mexican guys in Houston.

[A]

Okay, but just like a regular shop.

[C]

Here's what happened. I went to New Orleans, got my haircut in New Orleans right before. Right after Christmas. And the guy.

[A]

Were you just in the. You were in the world working?

[B]

And how do you link up with that guy?

[C]

Yeah, I asked the GM of the building. I was at a theater, and I said, I gotta get a haircut. You know where I can get a haircut? And she was like, this guy's awesome. She sent me like two ops. She goes, no, this one's the best. This one's the best. And I walked in this barbershop and it felt different. I go, oh, they take their time here. Yeah, it had a vibe to it, right? And I like barbershops that have black people and white people in there. I said, they can do everything because black barbers alone don't do well with scissors. Sure, they beast with the clippers. And then sometimes white barbers don't get close enough on the sides. And I was like, oh, okay. So I went in and the guy, literally, I got done, it goes. I go, God damn, dude, you killed it. Because, yeah, I go type in my phone, in the notes what I need to tell barbers. Because I never know what to tell him. The way he typed in it, he goes, you know, raise the edges round this and this. Now, now I'm just going to be.

[B]

Like, yeah, do that.

[C]

I just show him it. That's why I got this Mexican. I know he spoke English, but is it bad or good?

[B]

No, it's good.

[A]

It's great.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

You ever had a haircut in the green room?

[C]

Couple times. Not a lot.

[A]

I heard Luke go, wow.

[B]

Yeah. That's cool, guys. Not a lot, though. What. Speaking of the green room, you know what's on the rider? Sure.

[C]

It's funny. The older you get, the easier the writer gets. Because I don't. I don't want to have a bunch of shit that I'll just munch on because I don't want to just be munching on it. So it's just berries, those blueberries, raspberries, blackberries, masa chips. I don't know if you guys know them well. Masa chips. Water. Not in a plastic bottle. Glass. Glass can.

[B]

Oh, what's your favorite? What's the favorite water? You get your choice.

[A]

You like Mountain Valley.

[C]

Mountain Valley. Green bottle. It's money. But the problem is they'll. Sometimes they'll up and they'll get the sparkling because it looks so similar, I believe. Yeah, yeah. I'm like, guys, it's wrong water.

[B]

So.

[C]

And then I. We got in there. I'm gonna order something from a nearby restaurant.

[B]

Gotcha.

[C]

Because you just don't know. So I'll just. They'll send me, like, four restaurants. I'm like, all right, I'll choose this one. Usually I'm just getting chicken or steak and vegetables. Real simple.

[B]

Sure.

[C]

And that's. Oh, we do a bottle of wine and a bottle of vodka.

[B]

What kind of wine?

[C]

We gave him a list of, like, eight to choose from.

[B]

Just get whatever.

[C]

Whatever one you can get.

[A]

Are you a wine guy?

[C]

No. I have a wine thing at my house. So this is. I usually take a bottle home and I put it in wine.

[B]

Ms. Pat does, too.

[A]

Ms. Pat does that.

[C]

It's like 104, and I think I'm at, like, 98, and I think I've bought six of the bottles. It's literally been that many bottles over the course of.

[A]

Are they nice bottles? Do you know what they are?

[C]

Yeah, of course. There's Camus. There's Joseph Phelps.

[A]

Huh.

[C]

There's one called Dow. That's it. Dwyane Wade got a couple. I supported him. I bought Dwyane Wade's wine support.

[A]

I got Shaq's Shacks.

[C]

Yeah. Noir. There's. Oh, there's a. There's a couple that I really like, but I can't think name. I just. I'm looking at the bottle right now. I can't picture it.

[A]

When you're out at a restaurant, will you get the. Will you do the bottle of water, like, when you're. When you're eating?

[C]

Depends on the city.

[B]

Really?

[C]

Yeah. If I'm in, like, Park City, Utah. Yeah. I'm taking that tap.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

I'm in Philly. No offense. I'm getting the bottle.

[A]

Now when you get that sparkling or still?

[C]

Still.

[A]

Still. You're not a sparkling guy.

[C]

Not a sparkling guy.

[A]

All right, I respect it. How do you get the steak cooked?

[C]

Medium rare, plus.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Not bad, gentlemen. Not bad, gentlemen. This. I mean.

[C]

I mean, I don't know if you guys like me or not. I think I love you.

[B]

I want to bougie. No, no, Bougie. It's this. This. This is. This is the show you started, Rodney. In a goddamn trailer park. You're allowed. You're allowed to ask for the mountain, valley, water.

[A]

Yeah. What are you, crazy? Who you flying with? You a Delta man?

[C]

I used to be, but now I live in Houston. That's United's hub. Okay, so it's United most of the time. Because you can get everywhere. Direct. Everywhere.

[B]

Direct out of here.

[C]

I flew. I flew to Dubai direct.

[B]

Jesus.

[A]

The hell are you doing over there?

[B]

Oh, I went to a free vacation with the wedding.

[A]

You went to a wedding in Dubai?

[C]

Yeah, Like Terrence J. He was. He was an entertainment. He was in Think Like a Man with me. The two things. Like a man movies. Okay. So I always wanted to go to Dubai, and this just gave me a reason. Any. It was like, oh, yeah, I know. That guy hit me like I didn't.

[B]

Know him by his name. Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. It didn't hit me like. It was like a month notice. It was like eight months in advance. We got the wedding invitation. I go, oh, let's go to Dubai. That's fun.

[B]

I get that.

[C]

You know what I mean? And it was a great. It was a great trip.

[A]

You flying up front?

[C]

Yeah, got it. Once you go up front, you can't go to the back.

[A]

Take your shoes off on a plane, not a lot. Put the seat back.

[C]

Depends I see who's behind me. I'm very. I'm very cautious because I don't like it when somebody just goes, yeah.

[B]

You know, they get aggressive.

[C]

So I'll look and if. If somebody's asleep, I'll slowly. I still go slow. I'll do it and I'll do an increments.

[B]

I'll be like, yeah, say anything.

[C]

They say, I hate it when they just immediately help.

[A]

The next time this gets brought up, everybody says they keep it. So black and white, they keep it. So should you put the seat back or not? No, I never put the seat back. Yes, I put the seat back. That's what it's there for. That's the right answer.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You look to see who's behind you. You gauge it a little bit or maybe you give them a.

[C]

So listen, if you got a mom and she's got a baby, I'm not pushing the seat back. You know, Give them all the room they can handle.

[B]

Sure.

[C]

You know what I mean?

[A]

Goddamn gentleman.

[C]

Now, if the biggest. My pet peeve with flying. I like the window. Right. It never fails. I always get the person right here that leaves their window up and the sun is hitting you. I'm like, just put your shade down, bro. You can't watch the TV or your laptop because it's. It's got a glare and it's just. It's always like.

[B]

Comes in hot.

[A]

That would be me, because I know I drive people crazy with that.

[B]

He's a window open guy.

[A]

I'm not just a window open guy. When I'm watching my movie, when I got, you know, fucking Catch Me if youf can going, I close my window. But I like to see we're flying over somewhere cool and it's today. I'm gonna. I'm gonna yank that up, you know, six or seven times during the flight.

[C]

I'm fine with the takeoff. I'm fine with the landing. I get it. But the whole flight I'd be like.

[B]

Dude, if you're humming 40,000ft, you can close that.

[A]

I'll give you that.

[C]

What are we doing?

[A]

Will you bring food on the plane?

[C]

Not like meals, but I'll bring, like snacks. Yeah.

[B]

Protein bars or some way before, you know, when you first started doing well, it didn't even necessarily have to be that well. Right. Maybe first big check or something where you went, oh, shit, this is. You know, we leveled up a little bit this weekend. Whatever. Was there a dumb purchase where you look back.

[A]

What'd you do with the money, Gary?

[B]

I shouldn't have bought that.

[C]

Well, my ex wife, okay, spent all of it. You know what I mean? I'd say the first thing I bought, two things I bought when I came in, a little bit of money early in my career.

[B]

And what was that money from?

[C]

The first one was bets. Comic view, because I got. I got a movie and I got bets. Come you're off the bat. I got the hosting on bet and I got this movie, Jamie Foxx. Boom, boom. So I went from no money to. I got a little bit of money. Not seven figures or anything like that, but 100 grand. The bet didn't pay me that and the movie didn't pay me that, but combined it came over 100.

[A]

Right, nice.

[C]

And I got him at the same time, Right.

[A]

Like, you got the checks at the same time?

[C]

Yeah, they were coming in around the same time, Right. You didn't get them all at once, but yeah, it's a great couple months. Right? But I just remember I went and bought a Rolex, and it wasn't a. Was an expensive one, but I was like, all right, Bought a nice little watch, right? So then it wasn't like one $40,000.

[B]

No, yeah, yeah, it was nice.

[C]

This is 20 some years ago, but I remember I got a TV deal with Quincy Jones and I can say that I can see the money now because it's so long ago. So it was we. He gave me a 150,000 dollar Holden Deal TV holding deal, right?

[B]

It's a 90s awesome.

[C]

This is like 99, 2000.

[A]

That's awesome.

[B]

Prime holding deal.

[A]

Prime holding deal era.

[C]

So that's your money. Holden deals was. They give you money. You can't do any TV for the whole year. So you can't go out on auditions or nothing.

[B]

They have you to put you in to try to either make something around you or put you in one of the things they already have in development.

[C]

So how Quincy saw me was kind of random. I did the Montreal Comedy Festival this and they were giving out huge deals back then, right? I'm on the New Faces. So I'm on the first show of the entire festival. Everybody's there, every TV exec, every producer, everybody. Quincy's there. I don't even know Quincy's there. We drew Nate. We drew numbers out of a hat. I drew1. It's first comic.

[B]

Tough spot, first show.

[C]

Open it up.

[B]

It's cold.

[C]

Dom Herrera was the host. He goes up, they're not really laughing at him. And they're so old and super white. Like literally blue hair. I saw blue hair. I'm not just saying that. I was like, I'm gonna switch my setup for this crowd. I'm switch my complete five minute set. And my agent at the time was like, don't, don't, don't. We got all these people here. The networks are here. They're primed to hear your point of view. So don't switch it up, right? I go, I don't think they're gonna get it with this crowd. I listened to my agent, did my five minutes, eight. It was awful. I didn't get a chuckle. I got off stage, I went out the back door. I walked like two miles back to my hotel. And my, my ex wife was just my girlfriend at the time. They were like, oh, you know, like NBC wants to meet him. And I remember she was telling him, oh, he's not coming out. I locked myself in my room for two days before I went up again. So this is like Wednesday. I didn't go up again until Friday. And I went. Because I'm thinking I'm gonna walk around all the commerce like, that's got the bomb. That's got the bomb. That's What I'm thinking in my head. So I'm not leaving the room. I watched so much CFL football in two days. I knew everybody in the Montreal Alouettes.

[A]

Shout out to the Argonaut.

[C]

Toronto Argonaut. I knew all of them, right? I go, oh, that's. That's Jean Pierre. Yeah, he's from Calgary.

[B]

Hell of a middle linebacker.

[C]

So I go back up Friday. This is the first time I've seen comedians or anybody in two days. The other seven comics were all complaining about the audience. I didn't realize everybody bombed. All eight comics ate it. And they were like, dude, that audience, man. And I go, what? It wasn't just me. They go, do they laugh at nobody? They left at Dom, nothing. I was like, ah, go up live.

[B]

To fight another day.

[A]

But watching high Life for two days.

[C]

Yeah, right. Did a different five minutes a second night, right? Because I got enough local stuff at that point. Then Guy Tory missed his flight for the urban show, which was Saturday. They said, gary, can you stay an extra day? Guy Tory can't make it. I was like, yeah, stayed. Did the urban shows. Now the early urban show was promoted as kind of cleaner. The late urban show was the dirty urban show, right? So Basically I did 20 minutes total in Montreal. But I did four sets that were different. Four five minute sets that was different. That's how I got my deal. Because when I left there a week later, they said, quincy Jones wants to meet with you. I said, what?

[A]

Get the out of here.

[C]

I don't know. He's been to all the shows, so he saw. He saw all the new face because he was looking for new talent. So of course he went to the new faces. Then he went to the urban show. So he saw all four of my sets by just circumstances. He. I go to his house, I meet with them.

[A]

Quincy Jones. Quincy Jones, get the fuck out of here.

[C]

So we're at his house and he tells me how he decided he wanted to give me a deal. He goes, look, I went to all. I went to so many shows in five days. He goes, you were the only guy I feel. It sounds off. I feel so cocky saying this same. He goes, you were the only guy I saw that switched it up and you kept getting better every set. He goes, I saw you didn't do well the first night. I saw you. Came back two days later. He goes, oh, he did a different five minutes. Oh, okay. Then I saw you do the urban show. You did the clean stuff. He goes, then I saw you do the. The dirty urban Show. He goes, you and you're white and you played to the white people and the black people. That's how I got the deal with Quincy.

[A]

Jesus Christ.

[C]

So he gives me this deal for a hundred and fifty thousand dollars and literally goes like this. And TV deals don't work like this. He goes, hey, what's the deal again? And they go, this is like after meeting him for months, right? It's hard for dad. He goes, somebody comes down, brings out a checkbook. He wrote the check and handed it to me. And my manager goes, oh, this never happens.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Are you. All these meetings are in his house, at his house.

[C]

He doesn't go anywhere. You meet in his. In his office, in non. Just his. Whatever this room was. It had all the Grammys. No, there's a wall of Grammys. And then there was a big picture of him, Michael Jackson.

[A]

I've seen that house on the. On the documentary they did on Netflix.

[C]

That was the second house. That wasn't the house we met in.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

He was building that house. It's next door to the house. So this is how baller Quincy was.

[A]

Was, man.

[C]

So the street he lived on when we were meeting, there was five houses on the street. One was his house, one Chris Tucker, one Girls Gone Wild. The guy, because that was big. And the other one was the one of his baby mama, Natasha Kinski. Okay. So he moved her across the street. So he still regulates, sees his daughter. He lives here. There's. And then he built. Was building his house at the very end of the street. And that was the big house from the documentary.

[A]

It's Quincy Jones's block right there.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Crazy.

[C]

Dude.

[A]

That's awesome, man.

[C]

It was so cool. The, the TV show. We obviously didn't get picked up everything, but it was just cool. Like I literally spent like six months and probably was at his house twice a week.

[B]

That's why that's sick. Wild.

[C]

And the stories he told, I. I'm not going to share all of them. Sure. But they're true. He's not exaggerating. He's not lying. Like Frank Sinatra and Orson Welles and Michael Jackson and you know, I asked every question you would want to ask about Michael Jackson. He answered them all. But I'll keep that between.

[B]

Sure. Yeah.

[C]

Me and Quincy. It was dope though.

[B]

God damn. Have you ever saved the Crown royal bag?

[C]

I'm sure I have.

[B]

Yeah, everybody has.

[C]

I'd see a while.

[B]

Purple Velvet. Don't throw that away.

[C]

Early in my career, I met this girl after one of my shows and she came. She came. No, not stripper. Met her at a sports bar.

[B]

Okay?

[C]

She came back, I'm saying.

[B]

Because that's what they put them in.

[C]

She came back to my room. I just remember she. She pulled out a Crown Royal bag out of her purse. And I thought there was Crown Royal, a little pistol. And I went, oh, shit. Why do you have a gun? I'm like, I'm naive to the business at this point. She goes, oh, you know, you don't know who come at you.

[B]

She might have been a tripper.

[C]

Whoa. Why do you have a gun in a Crown Royal bag?

[B]

Excuse me, miss, Is that loaded? Dude, I would have to take it down.

[C]

The white guy that picked her up at the bar, like, yeah, girl. Yeah. Like, why do you have a gun in your bag?

[B]

God damn. I mean, I got a couple more quite. You know.

[A]

What was the first concert you went to?

[B]

Good one.

[C]

As a kid, I didn't go to any concert. So as an adult, a Summer Jam in D.C. and that was like SWV key, sweat, jade Silk, Shy Rob Bass, H Town. Yeah, that was a great concert. I just remember I freaked out that concert. Not freaked out, but it's the first time I saw, like, a lot of celebs. Because you were in D.C. that was the. And I saw. I just remember I saw Alonzo Morning and Patrick Ewing walk in.

[B]

Whoa.

[C]

You know, it's Georgetown. And then I saw Riddick Bowe. This is back when Riddick Bow was fighting Evander Holyfield. And I was like, oh, there's. And I didn't see Vanderbilt. There's really. There's a lot of morning and Patrick Ewing. And I've gotten cool with Alonzo and Patrick Sins. I always tell them the story.

[A]

I go, dude, I saw you friends with Patrick Ewing.

[C]

I'm not saying friends, but, like, we're cool. See each other out because you do the charity events and stuff.

[B]

I don't know, Nonato.

[C]

I don't have his number or nothing.

[A]

I didn't say friends.

[B]

Cool.

[C]

He recognized me. That's an N when you can go talk to him.

[B]

For sure, for sure. How old were you when you got your passport? I'm assuming when you joined.

[C]

Yeah, Navy.

[B]

Yeah. Okay.

[C]

18. You.

[A]

You keep it pretty tight as far as the food goes, right? You eat pretty clean, Eat pretty good. Do you still eat fast food?

[C]

No, never. I can't remember last time I had fast food.

[A]

Oh, look at you.

[C]

Carry on keeping it tight, does it, huh? I can't remember last time I fest food. I'm trying to Think.

[A]

Do you snack on anything? Do you have an indulgence?

[C]

Not real. This probably is cheating. You know the masa chips we talked about, Right?

[B]

Sure.

[C]

So I like making nachos with the masa chips.

[B]

Not bad. That's classy.

[A]

Very classy.

[B]

No, but you're not making your own nachos.

[C]

Nachos are easy. You just throw cheese.

[B]

I know.

[C]

When I say basic nachos, you throw cheese on them, Put it in the oven for like five minutes. Take the oven. Cheese is all melted.

[A]

Talk about the microwave.

[C]

No, no. The oven, man, gets the chips crispy. The cheese is crispy. Put a little sour cream on there, a little ground beef.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Huh.

[A]

You have a glass of wine at the house? Sometimes.

[C]

Not a lot.

[A]

Once in a while.

[C]

I'm more of a social drinker.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Like, if other people around. Because I always tell my girl, I said, I get horny when I drink, so I don't want to just be drinking by myself. You know what I mean? Like, oh, what do I do with this?

[B]

So then what are all the bottles of wine for at the house? Just to collect. Yeah.

[C]

It's right when you walk in. It's just there.

[A]

Wait, it's not down in this basement or anything?

[C]

No, it's right when you walk in the front door. It's just like a display.

[A]

That's horrible. For the wine. Yeah.

[C]

But it's. It's temperature controlled.

[A]

What? You have a little room.

[C]

It's in a glass thing. You gotta open the doors to get out of here. They're not just sitting on the open.

[A]

All right.

[B]

That Airbnb, we were that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

They had that rented in. In la. Had that same thing.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Huh. Have you ever seen any of your parents fight? Anybody?

[C]

Rodney.

[A]

I figured, did he win or lose?

[C]

You gotta fight my. My. My real dad at my wedding.

[B]

No.

[C]

My first wedding.

[B]

I mean.

[C]

Yeah. Sucker punched him at the wedding, bro.

[A]

The wine cellar at the front of the house. What are you doing? Patrick Ewing? Now you're bringing this up?

[B]

Jesus. Trash.

[C]

Yeah. Ronnie. Ronnie sucker punched my real dad at the wedding.

[A]

What? Where was the wedding at?

[C]

Oakland.

[B]

Why?

[C]

My ex wife is from. There's some ghetto church too.

[B]

Bro.

[C]

Here's the funny part. The wedding. Let's say 300 people were there.

[A]

Nice.

[C]

250 white black people. 50 white people and two white guys got in a fight.

[B]

That's crazy. Yeah. Damn.

[A]

So what was the beef?

[C]

Rodney said my dad looked at him funny. I went, what looked at you funny? He's not Gary. It wasn't a Normal face. He looked at me like I your wife before you. I went around with Gary's growing up and I'm still at the wedding.

[B]

Hahaha.

[C]

I was like, that's a hell of a face. Yeah, I gotta. I gotta see that face, bro.

[B]

Complex face.

[A]

Was it just one sucker punch and that was it?

[C]

It got broken up immediately.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Ronnie went in, sucker punched him. Luckily somebody saw him so they kind of caught it. So it kind of grazed his chin, really hit his chest. And then. And then it got broken up.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Ronnie got escorted out. He was trying to talk but he realized there's too many black guys here. I should probably leave because now that black people was like, you up?

[B]

The wedding got up. Yeah.

[C]

So.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Yeah. What? I saw Ronnie getting a lot of fights, growing. And that's the problem with having a stepdad that isn't cool but can fight because you'll tell. You'll go to school and be like man, they go, man, beat his ass, man. I said I can't, I can't.

[B]

He can fight. He swings first ask questions.

[C]

They never show that story in the movies. Yeah, the stepdad that can actually fucking throw hands. You know what I mean? Like I saw him one hitter quitter a couple people. I was like, no, just ding. I mean he could, he can fight.

[B]

Named Rodney, works in a factory, lives in a trailer park. I gotta get throw hands.

[C]

He can go. He can go.

[A]

He's fighting. He could paint. He's good as hands.

[C]

Go to his hands, man. He's soft.

[B]

I would you up.

[C]

I gotta whiplash too.

[B]

I gotta do a mural in the morning. You can't up the money makers. Speaking of weddings, let's say you go to a wedding now. Friend of yours?

[A]

You know, very good question.

[B]

Family member, something you're as you're a guest. What are you. What's that? What's going to be in that envelope? What's that check going to be? Going to be? Check. Is it going to be cash and how much?

[C]

Depends on who the person is.

[A]

Sure.

[C]

And what you have done for us in our life.

[A]

Okay. Can you give us a range?

[C]

Let's say I can call you when we're. When the shit hits the fan. If I can call you and I don't. I just need you to be there. Yeah. You're gonna get a decent gift. You know what I mean? You've been there for me. If I don't know you. Yeah. What do we.

[A]

What's some. Okay, let's go the $20. 20.

[B]

Nah, you should give more than 20. You're doing 20?

[A]

You're kidding.

[B]

100. 100.

[A]

120 bucks at a wedding.

[C]

Gary, you crazy?

[B]

I feel like his wife probably does handle.

[C]

Yeah, I know.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay, so let's say it's somebody tight. We talking?

[C]

Depends on who it is, man.

[A]

Five figures.

[B]

Five.

[C]

No, four.

[A]

Sorry.

[C]

You're my guy. You're that close to me.

[B]

Five figures is nuts.

[A]

I miscounted.

[C]

Yeah. Whoa. That was a decimal point.

[B]

Yeah, he's not great with numbers.

[A]

Nine figures. Really?

[B]

Counting the sense.

[A]

Will you dance at a wedding? If.

[C]

Yeah. Then the liquor and everything.

[B]

Okay, I got a question for you. Will you dance at a black wedding? Because it's gotta be a little more easier. Really? I'd be way.

[A]

No expectations.

[C]

Yeah, the expectations. All you do is hit one move.

[B]

Oh, shit. Okay. Yeah. There.

[C]

Yeah. Hey, listen, no matter what you do in life, whether you're playing basketball, you're telling jokes, you're at a wedding, dancing, if there's nothing like black people hyping you up, I know there's nothing like it.

[B]

Oh, shit.

[C]

Play basketball. Hit a three. Okay, I see you, Larry. Yeah, I see you, Larry. Like, what?

[B]

It's such a good feeling. Of course he's better.

[C]

Football, anything, man. You got the black guys hyping you up. It feels good.

[B]

That's great.

[C]

It really does hit different. Like, honestly, you're walking down the street, right? You're walking on the street. Of course. White guy goes, are you garbage? I love your podcast, guys. You're like, thanks, man. Thanks. Black guy. Are you garbage? I with you? You can be like this. Yeah.

[B]

Dap up.

[C]

Yeah, you. Look at you like this. Let's go get some meat, man. I feel good. We gotta.

[A]

We need more.

[C]

We need more back here.

[B]

I mean, listen, is he.

[A]

Is he garbage, though? That's the question I would say now.

[B]

No, no.

[A]

Classy gentleman. Hey, you know, operator.

[B]

He can. He still walks in both worlds, of course.

[A]

You know, he, you know, lives in Houston.

[C]

The wedding almost killed it, didn't I?

[B]

That was. That was close. That was. I mean, your class now.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

You came. You came from a, you know, you're not fantastic upbringing.

[A]

You're from garbage.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

You're garbage.

[B]

He's all try. What are you talking about? Guys, Drag. He's doing shows for free vacations for him and his old squad. But it's a classy resort, though.

[C]

Classy resort, nice resort.

[A]

So is the deal now, is there a little grease on top of that, or is it just.

[B]

Just for the can't get paid taxes, makes everything.

[C]

You got new work permits and stuff. Only being probably now with this podcast probably just went away.

[A]

We can snip it.

[C]

No, it's the only reason I would do it is because it's doing it on a day that you never work. Sure.

[B]

Of course.

[C]

Nobody works July 4th, nobody works Christmas.

[A]

Do a show. Relax.

[C]

You like to have good and it's a nice little family tradition we're starting.

[A]

You like to have a drink in the pool?

[C]

I will.

[A]

A cocktail Mai tai, Pina colada.

[C]

Mai tai. I like bloody Mary's at the pool.

[A]

You do?

[C]

I do like bloody Marys.

[B]

More beach or more pool guy pool all day.

[C]

I like the salt water better. I like the ocean water better. But the sand gets everywhere. I just want to stick by the pool.

[B]

Listen, I respect it.

[A]

Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Gary Owen.

[C]

Am I garbage or not?

[B]

I mean, listen, I'm leaving.

[A]

You picked strawberries and you grew up in a trailer park.

[C]

I could be like recycled.

[A]

You were the prom king.

[B]

You've made.

[A]

You didn't hook up with your date. Don't make us do it, Gary, man. Yeah, you're trash.

[B]

You're trash, buddy. The great kind of you redeemed yourself. But you're dirt. You're a dirt bag.

[A]

God damn gentlemen these days. We love it, buddy. Congratulations on your success. We are huge fans. We love you to death. Thank you so much for coming in and sitting with us, gang.

[C]

Thank you.

[A]

If you haven't seen Gary, go to Gary Owen DOT live. Check out his tour dates. One of the absolute best. Kippy, what do you got for guys?

[B]

We're on tour right now. Back on the block. Tour shows are selling out. Get your tickets now. We can't add them in all the cities because the routing so good. If you snooze, you lose. We love you, Gary.

[A]

Is there anything you wanted to mention? Nope.

[B]

Fumbled at the goal line, big man.