Are You Garbage? — "How to Get Scammed! w/ Joe List"
Hosts: Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Guest: Joe List
Release Date: March 2, 2026

EPISODE OVERVIEW

In this classic, off-the-rails episode, returning favorite Joe List joins Kevin Ryan and H. Foley for his eighth visit to "Are You Garbage?". The conversation bounces from childhood Valentine's traditions to Olympic merch, inadvertent financial mayhem, parental quirks, and the ever-present specter of "being garbage." Episodes of oversharing, financial anxiety, trashy lunches, and home-grown wisdom are served up in relentless, hilarious fashion—with plenty of personal embarrassments and deep dives into what makes someone "garbage."

1. THE CROWNING OF JOE LIST (01:23–02:16)

• Hosts excitedly introduce Joe List, a show regular, for his eighth appearance.
• Joe shows off his USA-themed sweatshirt, triggering a debate about its authenticity and classiness:

  "I've had it on for four days straight. I'm taking the colors back for the good guys." (06:01, Joe List)

2. MERCH, SWEATS, AND HOCKEY JERSEYS (01:36–08:18)

• Joe riffs on repping "Are You Garbage" merch that isn’t obviously branded—drawing confusion from fans.
• The panel discusses the American trend of people wearing hockey jerseys casually and whether it’s considered classy or trashy.

  "It's not trashy. It's trashy that you think it's classy. That's the problem." (08:12, Kevin Ryan)

• Joe shares an awkward moment wearing his USA gear to Starbucks, flirting (sort of) with a Russian barista and realizing how his look is coming off:

  "She probably thinks I'm like... you look like Homelander right now." (06:39–06:44, Joe & Foley)

3. THE OLYMPICS & OLYMPIAN IDOLS (08:47–12:44)

• Discussion shifts to Olympic figure skating nostalgia—Scott Hamilton stories, old 90s figure skating icons.

• Joe's podcast "Tuesdays with Stories" once roasted Scott Hamilton; word got back to Hamilton himself:

  "Scott Hamilton, one of my boyhood idols, listened to me... and was like, 'Not my cup of tea.'" (10:52, Joe List)

• The crew jokes about Olympic athlete net worths, reflecting on how many of their childhood idols had day jobs and regular lives.

4. FINANCIAL FOIBLES & "GETTING SCAMMED" (13:08–16:43)

• Joe confides he’s “bad with money” and just lost a huge chunk trying to send funds to an investment guy.
  • Long Island-accented “advisor” pushes Joe to move all savings into investments.
  • Joe mails a huge bank check that may be missing in action. Confusion ensues over check writing logistics.

  "The problem is I don't know what to do... it's not 1985. Nobody's just answering phones over there." (15:01, Joe List)

• Foley and Kevin roast Joe’s old-school approach ("I'm from the 80s dog") and paranoia.

5. TRASHY EATING HABITS & DELIVERED LUNCHES (16:56–18:08)

• Joe admits to daily McDonald's orders—Double Quarter Pounder, double fries, sometimes Chick-fil-A, followed by a Starbucks brownie.
• Hosts commiserate about the joys, shame, and economics of food delivery.

6. A FINANCIAL MYSTERY, CONTINUED (18:08–26:48)

• Joe spirals about the status of his missing check, debating whether to trust the bank, the mail, or his own processes.
• The perils of trusting “investment guys” broached:

  "He's gotten all my money. Don't worry." (25:57, Joe List)

• Joe reveals other comedians (Norman) use the same “advisor,” hinting at possible group gullibility.

7. CHANGE JARS, KID SAVINGS & CLASSY MOVES (22:17–23:24)

• Joe touts a “silver pig” piggy bank for his son (mostly filled with Dad’s money), and Sarah’s efforts to set up accounts for the kid.
• The group riffs on “Trump war bonds” and state savings accounts for children—none of them fully understand the details.

8. JOE'S "CLASSY" ACTS & GENEROSITY (27:30–30:33)

• Joe describes a “classy move”—covering hotel costs for a young MC after a San Francisco gig, but jokes he probably wouldn’t have done it for a guy.

  "Now, if it was a man, would I have done it? Absolutely not. But, you know, my wife dies I get... got something on the horizon." (29:30, Joe List)

• Upgraded to Delta One, Joe celebrates a moment of “adulter-adulting” and reflects on the empowering but nerve-wracking aspect of handling real money.

9. APARTMENT AND FAMILY UPDATES (40:04–44:38)

• Joe compares NYC apartments, new vs. old, and the realities of a doorman, pool access (via a neighbor, not his own building), and tricky garage arrangements.
• He shares the saga of his car: stuck in Massachusetts after transmission failure, being borrowed by his family—everyone except him drives it.

  "Now I'm paying for a garage with no car in it. My dad's driving it around." (43:44, Joe List)

• Joe bought the car "cash" (actually by check), feeling like a baller crossing into capitalist adulthood.

10. PARALLEL NOSTALGIA: SCHOOL SPORTS, TOYS, AND FASHION (35:04–41:00 & 59:40–62:52)

• Long bits on wiffle-ball bats, childhood sporting hacks, and the "hypercolor shirt" craze:

  "Hypercolor. Had a moment." (61:21, Joe List)

• Reebok Pumps, snap bracelets, and other ‘90s ephemera are fondly revisited.

11. RANDOM TRASH: WINTER COATS & BATHROOM HABITS (47:46–54:04)

• Panel gets candid (and gross) about pooping in winter coats at public toilets, hotel away-games, and preferred hygiene strategies.
• Joe’s “60/40” philosophy: always prefer home base, and when at home, finish with a shower (removable shower heads recommended).
• Extended bid on shower tech and the trash/class divide regarding bathroom routines.

12. THE PARANOIA OF MODERN ADULTHOOD (54:10–56:11)

• The gang bemoans financial jargon and how it excludes "dumb people" from participating ("They want to fuck you up—it's like tax scoring." 55:18, Joe List).
• Joe’s tennis fandom is revealed; he's headed to see Venus Williams in person, playing up his love of "classy" sports.

13. WRAP-UP: FINAL QUESTIONS & DOCTOR'S OFFICE ETIQUETTE (64:02–66:29)

• Garbage or not: bringing coffee into a doctor's office (trash).
• Joe is anxious even talking about the doctor:

  "I'm terrified. I shake like a leaf and I almost cry." (64:48, Joe List)

• Rapid-fire bits on doctor’s office routines, blood pressure, and annual physicals to close out.

MEMORABLE QUOTES

• “You look like Homelander right now.” (06:43, H. Foley to Joe List)
• "I'm from the 80s dog... I gotta look at the shirt." (25:25, Joe List)
• "I've never seen anyone pick up on [driving stick] this fast." (49:42, Joe quoting Tom Dustin)
• "Now, if it was a man, would I have done it? Absolutely not." (29:30, Joe List)
• "I'm too hot in this sweatshirt." (47:59, Joe List)
• “If that was us, we never would have found each other.” [On the movie Shawshank Redemption] (34:38, H. Foley)

NOTABLE TIMESTAMPS

• 01:23 – Joe List is introduced for his 8th appearance
• 06:01 – Joe’s new USA sweatshirt / Starbucks story
• 10:52 – Scott Hamilton podcast drama
• 13:32 – Joe’s missing investment check story begins
• 16:58 – Joe’s McDonald’s delivery rituals
• 29:30 – Joe pays for MC’s hotel (classy move)
• 43:04 – Joe’s “baller” car buying story
• 49:28 – Driving stick lessons
• 61:06 – Hypercolor shirts and other ‘90s fads

OVERALL TONE

The episode is signature "Are You Garbage?": relentlessly irreverent, deeply personal, and constantly toggling between affection and brutal honesty. Joe List maintains his sardonic, self-deprecating humor throughout, matching the hosts' crass charm and giving listeners a masterclass in how to be both a surprisingly classy, but deeply "garbage," adult in modern America.

TAKEAWAYS FOR LISTENERS

• Don’t mail your life savings to anyone—especially yourself—via a blue mailbox.
• Childish food habits (and delivery bills) die hard, even with a family in Battery Park City.
• Trashiness and classiness aren’t about your money; they’re about how you move through the world.
• And never, ever trust Kippy and Foley for clean financial advice… or for fashion recommendations.

Joe List plugs: movie with Tom Dustin, touring dates—especially if you're near Fort Lauderdale, Providence, or the Miami Open.
Hosts plug the ongoing live shows and new merch (“Kiss Me, I’m Trash” for St. Patrick’s Day).

For fans and new listeners alike, this episode is quintessential garbage—both heartwarming and harrowing. Sit back, laugh, and feel thankful for online banking.