Robby Hoffman!

Summary

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Episode: Robby Hoffman!
Released: December 22, 2025
Hosts: Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Guest: Robby Hoffman

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Episode Overview

In this lively and hilarious episode, comedians Kevin Ryan and H. Foley put the brilliant Robby Hoffman to the "garbage" test. Robby, an Emmy-nominated stand-up, writer, and actor, walks the boys through her uniquely chaotic upbringing, her Jewish Orthodox roots, and her rise from poverty in Montreal to success in Hollywood. The episode delivers raw family stories, tales of hustling, sharp wit, and plenty of classic Are You Garbage? hijinks as they determine: is Robby “classy” or straight-up “garbage”?

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Robby's Upbringing: Poverty, Family, and Montreal

• Large Family Roots: Robby describes growing up in a family of 10 siblings (five brothers, four sisters) with a single mother, moving from New York to Montreal to escape their father.
  • "My parents had 10 kids by the age of 30." (03:45)
• Poverty & Ingenuity: Robby recounts their struggles living in cramped quarters, rescued by her great Uncle Eddie who took in all 11 of them.
  • “Uncle Eddie took us in. Took in 11 people on a moment's notice.” (10:21)
• Household Chaos: Roaches, mice, and improvising bedrooms out of every available space were the norm, but so was a sense of family and humor.
• Maternal Inspiration: Her mother, a brilliant (and hearing-impaired) guitarist and educator, kept the family afloat and inspired the kids to be self-reliant and ambitious.
  • "My mother is maybe the smartest person I've ever met... we had books lining every wall." (07:56, 08:09)

School, Religion, and Social Status

• Kosher & Orthodox Upbringing: The family strictly observed kosher and lived as Orthodox Jews – denied childhood indulgences like McDonald's.
  • "We were kosher. We were religious. Orthodox family. Still no McNuggets." (23:26)
• Attending a “Rich School” on Subsidy: Robby, often ashamed of her poverty, attended a wealthy school through a government program.
• Language Skills: Attending school in Montreal, she became fluent in French by law.

Early Jobs & First Tastes of Independence

• First Job: McDonald’s at age 17-18 (after giving up kashrut), triggering a lifelong admiration for the chain’s taste and consistency.
  • “Taste wise, you cannot deny that McDonald's is the best restaurant in the world.” (22:38)
• Young Adulthood: Robby and her siblings cycled through each other's apartments as their first crash pads, learning adult life on the fly.

Family Self-Reliance and Achievement

• Mother Leading by Example: Robby’s mom secretly took one night class a week for 12 years while raising 10 kids, eventually graduating college the same year as Robby.
  • “Twelve years later, class by class... she was graduating. We couldn't believe it.” (28:25)
• Siblings’ Success: The family, once “feral, religious, Amish looking kids," all grew into successful adults: real estate, tech sales, security, construction, accounting, social work, and Robby in entertainment.
• Pride in Grit:
  • "From nothing to something to everything." – advice from Robby’s brother Shmiely (34:27)

Comedy, Success, and Staying Grounded

• Start in Stand-up: Cut her teeth in Montreal, then Toronto, before breaking out in the U.S. via The Chris Gethard Show and acting opportunities.
• Honest Appraisal of Work: Robby takes pride in only backing projects she truly believes are great.
• Emmy Nomination & Family Support: Humorous tale of attending the Emmys with her sister, both convinced of an inevitable win, then losing the award and making a scene before presenting anyway:
  • “I said, my circumstance has changed.” (40:34)
  • “My sister's like, 'We’re out.' We ended up being the talk of the town. Let me be a sore loser for 10 minutes, then I’ll come back.” (43:47)

Financial Wisdom, Cars, and “Value”

• Car Hustle:
  • First car: 1983 Toyota Corolla bought for $3,600 ($5,500 asking, cash talks!), later sold for $6,000+ as a classic.
  • Gradually upgraded, ultimately to her “grail”: a Porsche 911, bought used with money made from flipping earlier vehicles. Maintains no car payments, seeking value and appreciation.
  • “If you buy things that appreciate, that hold their value, what am I gonna spend 30 grand on a Kia that's worth 2 grand next year?” (55:41)
• Frugal but Thoughtful Spending:
  • First big check advice: “Take a little off the top and treat yourself.” Robby bought a ‘91 Rolex Air King for $3,600, tying purchases to meaningful dates and family memories. (59:20-60:15)
  • All clothing thrifted or bought secondhand.
  • “Everything I own is pre-owned and holds value to some extent.” (62:50)
• Montreal Hustle Tips: If you’re poor, look for free activities for the kids: fire stations, SPCA, pet the animals – anything to pass the time.
• Introducing Wife to Thrift Life: A Prada cardigan story: “Now she’s all about pre-owned.” (67:43)

Trashy or Classy?

• Despite driving a Porsche and winning awards, Robby settles the debate:
  • “Are you garbage?”
  • “Yeah, no, I am... Jewish trash, the best kind.” (69:21-69:54)

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On Crypto/Astrology:

  • “Crypto is the male version of astrology. It’s a lot to do with minerals and numerology.” (00:50, Robby)

• On Uncle Eddie’s Virtue:

  • “Not a pervert. You have an uncle with a lot of kids…and I respect…If you are a man near a child and you don’t do that sort of thing, good for you. Gold star.” (11:09, Robby)

• On McDonald’s:

  • “Taste wise, you cannot deny that McDonald's is the best restaurant in the world.” (22:38, Robby)

• On Her Mother's Perseverance:

  • “12 years later, 12 years class by class, once a week…she was graduating. We couldn't...it was just something that I think we soaked up. Slow and steady wins the race.” (28:25, Robby)

• On Emmy Nominations:

  • “We already think we win it. The arrogance is crazy… I lose, it happens like that. My sister’s like, ‘We don’t need this.’” (37:44, 39:44, Robby)
  • “I said, my circumstance has changed.” (40:34, Robby)

• On Buying Used:

  • “If you buy things that appreciate, that hold their value, what am I gonna spend 30 grand on a Kia that's worth 2 grand next year?” (55:41, Robby)
  • “Everything I own is pre-owned and holds value to some extent.” (62:50, Robby)

• On Thrift and Humility:

  • “I may only have four sweaters, but they're folded.” (64:40, Robby)
  • “Slow and steady wins the race, baby. After 10 years, you have four nice sweaters instead of 30.” (65:00, Robby)

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Notable Segments & Timestamps

• [03:39] – Robby’s childhood: moving from NY to Montreal with her mother and ten siblings
• [07:35] – French-language laws in Montreal, mother’s jobs, poverty details
• [10:21] – Saved by Uncle Eddie: family rescue story
• [14:32] – Free “vacation” activities for large poor families
• [22:23] – Early jobs: McDonald’s, work ethic, and the “first nugget”
• [27:49] – Mother’s secret: graduating college after 12 years of night school
• [29:56] – "Where are they now?" The successful siblings rundown
• [34:27] – “From nothing to something to everything” – family mantra
• [37:26] – Emmy nomination, family reaction, day-of Emmys story
• [43:47] – “Let me be a sore loser for 10 minutes, then I’ll come back.”
• [45:41] – The car saga: Corolla to Porsche 911
• [59:20] – Big payday, Rolex, importance of thoughtful rewards
• [62:50] – Thrift-fashion, used clothes, and teaching her wife the way
• [67:43] – The Prada sweater story

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Tone & Takeaways

Robby’s stories crackle with wit, honesty, and self-deprecation, poking fun at poverty without losing appreciation for what her mother and family gave her. The episode moves from riotous and raucous to surprisingly heartfelt, shining a light on generational struggle, hustle, talent, and gratitude.

Final verdict: Robby is, by her own admission, “garbage” – but the best possible kind: resourceful, loyal, honest, and funny as hell.

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Callouts

• Robby’s Special: Wake Up – now on Netflix
• Podcast Plugs: Robby’s “Too Far” (Patreon only); her wife Gabby’s “Long Winded”
• Upcoming Tour: Check Robby’s Instagram for dates

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“Welcome to the family.” (69:55, H. Foley)

Transcript

[A]

Welcome to another exciting edition of Are you Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey, everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is RU Garbage. Oh, yeah, it's that little show. We sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that if they get to be classy, yeah, but they're just a big old piece of trash. Trash, trash, trash. I'm your host, Stage Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tooties in a new edition. She has a new pump and dump scam she wants to run by us at dinner.

[B]

Fair enough.

[A]

It's all fat and juicy.

[B]

I'm in.

[A]

Hoffman, you get into this. If you want, let me know.

[C]

Is this another crypto scam?

[B]

Probably not as advanced.

[C]

Crypto. For those listening, crypto is the male version of astrology. Is that correct? It's a lot to do with the minerals and numerology.

[B]

I've lost just as much money as my wife has as well. Yeah, it definitely makes sense.

[A]

Mike Coase is coming at you from right next to me. He is the CEO of Are youe Garbage? He is an international businessman and my best pal in the whole wide world, and I love him. Give it up for kj, Kevin, James Ryan, everybody.

[B]

What up, gang? Shout out to you. Make sure you rate View subscribe on itunes. Full video available on YouTube. Also full video available over there on Spotify. The boys are crushing it over there on Spotify. And obviously the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com rdgarbage. You go over there and baby, love that money.

[A]

Yes, sir. Gang, we couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly, and I mean incredibly special guest here with us today for the first time. She is a very funny, very successful stand up comedian, writer and actor. And you might have seen her in, but not limited to you got the Chris Gethard show. You have Dying for sex.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah, that's good. That was a sexual role. So. So you know Michelle Williams, I love her. By the way, my first part really doing being sexual, being flirtatious, being intimate with Michelle Williams, who, by the way, was a doll. And I thought I was coming off the plane, I had coffee and there was no gum on set. I don't want to be a diva. I don't want to be a diva. My first acting that I'm like, hey, anybody have gum? But I got to be this close to Michelle Williams after The coffee.

[A]

I heard people respect that because they think you're not really trying to make a move.

[C]

Well, that's true. Okay, so maybe. Yeah. No, I wasn't. I mean, I was making a move, but it was. It was my job to make a move on her. That was a little part. It was a sexual part. The all female remecs. The all female remake of Brokeback Mountain because she was in that too. But now she gets her gay.

[A]

Is that what it was?

[C]

Well, in a way.

[A]

Same universe, multi universe. We also have after midnight to today's show. Everybody's live with John Mulaney.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Okay. She's got an upcoming part on a Steve Carell project. And you're also developing your own show for hbo.

[C]

It's not nothing. It's not nothing.

[A]

We got a brand new Netflix special out right now. Wake up. Ladies and gentlemen, the Emmy nominated Robbie Hoffman.

[C]

Wake the fuck up. Thank you.

[B]

I check the fuck in every.

[A]

Congrats on the special.

[C]

Thank you so much.

[A]

Well deserved. Following you from afar. We are huge fans.

[C]

Thank you. Thank you. I wish I could say the same about you folks. But you know what? It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter because I like you now. It doesn't matter when people come. It's like if people go, I don't know who Robbie Hoffman is. Well, you know her now. Welcome. Get on the bus. It's leaving. It's fantastic.

[A]

Where's it going?

[C]

It's. It's. It's going. It's going up, up, up.

[B]

I've never been on a bus. It's been fantastic. I have to.

[C]

This is the only one. This is the first flying bus. It's fantastic. Otherwise known as a rocket.

[A]

Let's get into it. Give us the backstory. Where'd you grow up? Mom's dads, brothers.

[C]

Originally from New York, then grew up in Montreal. I have five brothers and four sisters.

[B]

Whoa, whoa.

[C]

Yes. My. My parents had 10 kids by the age of 30.

[A]

Jesus.

[C]

Just. Yeah. My mother has an enormous vagina. No. It's where I get mine from. I'm very blessed. Thank you. I know I'm doing very well for you. Well, in doubt.

[A]

That's where you keep the bus.

[C]

And my father is not in the picture. Was in the picture early on. But as I grow up, I realize he's a lot more in the picture than I realized in the way that he lives inside of me.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

10 kids. And he dips.

[C]

Well, we dipped away from him. We dipped to get away from him. So he got to stay Actually. Which is nice. Gotcha is nice. You know, I thought they never leave. Yeah, no, exactly, exactly, Exactly.

[A]

She took 10 kids up to Montreal.

[C]

I know.

[A]

Damn. Shout out to your mom.

[C]

Shout out to Ma. Ma. She doesn't know how to work a podcast. Shout out to you.

[B]

Yeah. What age were you when you moved from?

[C]

Well, I really developed in Montreal. I mean, I started stand up in Montreal for about a year and a half.

[A]

Okay, okay.

[C]

Because I heard about it there. Because they actually, when we moved there, they had the Montreal Comedy Festival. Festival. So I thought, why don't I just go do that?

[B]

I didn't realize, but Canadians could kind of do that.

[C]

Not really. No. I mean, I showed. I thought it was like an open mind. I never heard. I wasn't like that familiar with stand up comedy, that it's like craft and everything. So I thought, when I heard about it, I thought, that sounds like something I could do. Which by the way, nine out of 10 times, if you have that thought, it's a no. I got lucky. Sure, it worked out, but most people are sitting there at home going, ah, that's what I thought. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's likely. It's very unusual that that is the case. In my case, it was the case. And then I moved to Toronto, which, like, the big city, if you're living.

[A]

In Canada, we know Toronto put ketchup on your potato chips.

[C]

Yeah, of course. Crazy delish.

[A]

Yeah, they're fantastic.

[C]

Delish. All dressed delish. Yes. Just get it all on there. We have to pick and choose.

[A]

I'm with you.

[C]

It's the everything bagel of the chip. Literally.

[A]

Just don't say that.

[C]

Wow. See, great minds think alike.

[A]

We're melding.

[C]

And. And Toronto is really where I like, honed, you know, being a stand up and it's just a great stand up city.

[A]

I didn't know that. I started up in Canada.

[C]

Yeah. And then. And then I came back to the U.S. i did the Gethard show and. Well, I started in Canada on other shows, but I did the Gethard show and then I started getting my own projects and I started acting. And yeah, I've so far, whatever I've touched has done pretty good.

[B]

Well, excited to have that.

[C]

I don't want to be. I don't want to be out of line here. We're here to promote my comedy special Wake up on Netflix right now. And it happened. And correct me if I'm wrong, happens to be one of the greatest standup specials recorded in recent times.

[A]

I have that Right here.

[C]

I'm not trying to be out of line, by the way. If I was in something bad, I would tell you. I've done plays where I go, don't go see that play. It's not good. This. I just like, to be honest.

[A]

But you're on a run.

[C]

That's the way it goes.

[B]

You're on a run.

[C]

That's the way it goes. I want to be honest.

[A]

We love it. Take me back, though. How old were you when you moved to Montreal?

[C]

I grew up from New York. I grew up in Montreal, which, by the way, growing up in Montreal. And shout out to Montreal. Montreal is like the greatest. It's such a great city to visit, but it's also now that I. When you're dating and you. And you. You know, when I first brought my wife Gabby back to my hometown, it's like. It's such an amazing hometown to have as your hometown, like, because it's, like, different.

[B]

It's very unique.

[C]

It's like she's from. Nothing wrong with Denver, by the way. Don't come at me, Denver. I love your city, but it's no Montreal, you know what I mean? It's like, we go back. I can't breathe. I got the oxygen. Can the altitude. You know what I mean?

[A]

It's like, I like how she's on defense.

[B]

I know.

[C]

No, I know, because they're going to be people of Denver. And I'm saying. And I love all the crackheads there and shout out to everybody in Denver, but I'm saying, Montreal is. Is a cool city.

[A]

Can you speak French?

[C]

Yes. It's the law to speak French.

[A]

It is. So you learned that in school, all growing up?

[C]

Yes. They forced you to do French when you moved?

[A]

And what did your mom do for work when you guys were up there?

[C]

My mother was on welfare. She was a housewife. And she tried. She. Oh, she tried to. Well, she taught guitar, but she always tried to get.

[A]

Could she play guitar?

[C]

Amazing. My mother is an incredible guitarist and musician, just overall. And she always tried to get a proper. Yeah, she always tried to get a proper teaching job. She's also a wizarding. My mother is maybe the smartest person I've ever met. I mean, English culture, literature, all this stuff. I mean, we had the type of. You know, our house was. Was already. There was. We were so poor, there was no space. And. And further to that, we had books lining every fucking wall, you know, so that was the house that I grew up in. My mother always tried to get jobs, and I feel Bad now. I had such a shame about being poor, which of course it is. It feels very shameful when you're a kid and they make it, you know, they, you know, we were. I went to a rich school. When I went to Montreal, I got into this. My mother was able to get us on subsidy to a rich school.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

And she thought it was a great opportunity. And I, you know, I still had my big mouth and all that when I was a kid. So she would say, could you just shut up and be good? This is a good opportunity for you.

[A]

What would you say?

[B]

What could you. I would imagine what she was saying.

[C]

I would protest the pop quiz. I mean, this is criminal. This is. This is. My vagina's preposterous. You know? I mean, what's even the point of the pop quiz?

[B]

Surprise.

[C]

You're done. Like, what is. It's just. It's not testing anything. But I don't know what it is. It's like an alarm clock for test. It just doesn't make sense.

[A]

Give me a heads up, will you?

[C]

Let me prepare. What's wrong with a little preparation? So. But my mother, I felt that. I remember at one point she was going to apply to the coffee shop Tim Hortons, which is like shout out to it. Shout out to double double Timmy's. Exactly the double double, which is like the Dunkin Donuts of Canada. And I remember being so embarrassed, I was like, ma, you can't work.

[B]

Was it the local one?

[C]

It was the one right outside the bus stop from my school. So everybody's getting out from the bus. Everybody's getting out the bus. Everybody goes to the Timmy hose to get an ice cap. My mother's gonna be there. And by the way, she's not good with all that. I don't even think she would have gotten the job. Now I'm thinking back what she's good at, what she's good at, and what she's not. All those drink orders, forget it. They were gonna get whatever the hell she handed them, so I shouldn't feel too bad. I think she would have been fired. And I. Maybe I saved her that shame.

[A]

Was there family up there or were you guys up there?

[C]

Yes, My mother's from Montreal. That's how we ended up in Montreal. My mother is born and raised in Montreal. My grandparents, may they rest in peace.

[A]

Of course.

[C]

My great uncle Eddie, may he rest in peace.

[B]

He even said that sarcastically.

[A]

Uncle Eddie.

[C]

Uncle Eddie took us in. Took in 11 people on a moment's notice.

[A]

Are you kidding me?

[C]

My Parents, they split up under terrible circumstances, which we won't get into. But my great Uncle Eddie, my grandfather's brother, had a little duplex, a two or three bedroom. I mean, we made everything a bedroom once we moved in, so it's tough to say. The hallway was my brother's room, so. So it is what it is. But that's just funny. But, yeah. My great Uncle Eddie, a moment. So. Took in 11 people. Supposed to be temporary. He died in that house. My mother was still in that house.

[A]

No kidding.

[C]

We just never. He was relegated to the basement of his own. He was in the garage, practically.

[A]

Now, that's family right there.

[C]

Yeah. No, they don't make. They don't make men like that anymore. They really don't. And no offense to you guys or your producer here.

[B]

I got 12 people living in my house.

[C]

I'm just telling you. I'm just telling you. I mean. And shout out to Uncle Eddie. Not a pervert. You have an uncle with a lot of kids. And I was a cutie. I'll say this. I was a cute. If he wanted, he could have. And I respect. We have to shout out to the people who aren't when they could. Because that is an important positive reinforcement that we don't do. Positive. If you are a man near a child and you have access and you don't do that sort of thing, good for you. Gold star.

[A]

I don't think that's the way it works.

[B]

We really keeping the bar low for different.

[C]

No, we're keeping the bar low, but it's important. With all these stories coming up between Diddy and Epstein, it's important to keep the bar low and keep some positive reinforcement going.

[B]

I agree. Hey, get some W's on the board.

[C]

Yeah, that's. We're taking a lot of L's. Get some W's. That's what I'm saying. Thank you.

[A]

You said you were a cute. You were walking around tempting them or something like that.

[C]

I was a cutie. Hey, Eddie. And we had a. You know. And if you wanted boys. I had five brothers. They were cute, too. Athletic individuals, some of them. My brother Schneer was excellent at basketball.

[B]

Never heard that. Schneer was great at best.

[C]

He was a great. No, my brother Schneider was the fastest runner at the school. He was small and fast. He reminds me almost like. Like, what's it like? No, no, no. Like Roadrunner. You know, He's. He.

[B]

Like a porcupine.

[C]

Like, who's the guy with Ben Affleck and Mark?

[B]

Matt Damon.

[C]

Matt Damon, like, he's one of those, like, powerful small guys.

[A]

Okay. Man, I would have never got that reference. I don't know where you were going.

[B]

With, you know, famed.

[C]

He was excellent at basketball and he was excellent at running. Even though he was small. I always thought that. Imagine how fast he was. What, because he's got smaller legs?

[B]

I know they move quick.

[C]

It's insane. Like, I thought he was fast as a kid. And it was always fun when other neighborhood kids or people after school would say, you know, want to race him? As a. If they're racing my brother share, it's over for them. Right. And I would watch the race and my brother would win. Right. But then as I grow up, I go, wow, he really was fast. Because he was also smaller. That's unbelievable.

[B]

The leg, if he was normal.

[C]

The reach. It's like two boxers, maybe that's when one is taller. Their reach, the reach has. Makes a difference.

[A]

Advantage. Maybe that's why Eddie never made a movie. Knew he couldn't catch him.

[C]

There we go.

[B]

After him.

[C]

Wow.

[B]

Was there any pets in this house or. Probably not.

[C]

Yes. So. No. No, there was pets in the house besides the mice that came free, obviously. And the cockroaches, which we had thousands of.

[A]

Really.

[C]

My mother could never get ahead of the pest infestations. Let's think about. The pest control was just. No, it's just because the house was so old and you had holes and the winter. Winter had a way of like, if there was a little hole like. Like you. It's just. Yeah. The draftiness. I remember my great Uncle Eddie taping Saran Wrap on the windows to keep the heat in. We can never keep the heat in and we can never keep the roaches out. Like, it was one of these things that my mother would have an exterminator every two, three years if it got really bad. And we had two, three months of. Wow. Wow, it's quiet in here. Not a lot of. Right.

[A]

And she were all probably dizzy because of the camera.

[C]

But then they would come back in the winter because it's so cold out that they would find like a little crack.

[B]

Anyone?

[C]

Yeah. No, it was. It was. It was crazy. So we had. We had a cat.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Actually, we went. My great Uncle Eddie. Shout out to Uncle Eddie and may he rest in peace. Greatest. One of the greatest men I've ever known. But he took us. We would go. We were really poor. So the activities that we did, you know, they're not activity. Like my mother. My mother found out, like, you could go to any. If you have kids and you're poor and are interested, you know, you got to get them out of the house. You can go to a fire station. It's free.

[B]

Take them.

[C]

Yeah. And you can sit a fire truck and they give you the hat if you're not too young. I remember my baby sister. If you're under like five or something, it's too. It's too heavy.

[B]

It's a heavy hat.

[C]

It's a heavy hat. They don't want to break the neck. You're already there for free. They don't need a liability. Okay. But we went way too often to that fire station. We went like, my mother would like send us in and we could go on the truck. Like, sometimes they would get a call and then like, we're there and we're like watching and they're like, it's actually not good to have all these kids here.

[A]

Now we're putting out the fire.

[C]

The same was with the spca.

[B]

You can go.

[C]

No, no, you.

[B]

That's a little sad.

[C]

No, you go to the SPCA just to see animals. We used to go pet the cats. I know, but you're not the sbca.

[B]

And a happy. A happy.

[C]

Yes. It's like a zoo. My great Uncle Eddie would take us and say, who wants to see? Well, we were petrified of the dogs. I was terrified of the dogs.

[B]

Who wants to see euthanasia?

[A]

Anybody?

[C]

No. So we would go see the cats. And sometimes you put your little hand in the. In the. Right. We. So we ended up getting a cat. My mother was hearing impaired on top of this. So my mother wore hearing.

[A]

She was a guitar teacher.

[C]

Well, that's why she's hearing impaired. Right. Because she knows she. She's plugged into an amp. She does electric too. And she does death metal. She is. She is. As a matter of fact, she's playing everything. She's unbelievable. I should show you a video after. I'll pull it up.

[B]

And where did she pledge?

[C]

And you can put it up here.

[B]

Did she play it like she played.

[C]

At an open mic every Monday. The Wheel Club. It was a country club. Not the country club of a golf. It was a country music. Country music club. It was kind of this over a hundred years old place in Montreal that my mother started going to later on as we really settled in. She's found this music night. It's an open mic and she played the guitar there. Wow. And she sang songs. They only did songs. Shout out to the Wheel Club. I think it closed. I mean, I'd be shocked if you haven't closed. Guys, please, think about it. Come on. But the wheel club, it was so much fun. And she. They only allowed music before 1965. And my mother. My mother is, you know. You know who. I'm like, I'm in my 30s, but I'm almost like, you don't know if I'm seven or. You don't know if I'm 73. My mother's 104. Like, I feel like, you know how a trans person, once they get like, I feel like trans age. Like, once a trans person gets all their surgeries, they get everything. They take their. Their hormones, and they finally feel like their body is matching who they are inside. I feel like I'm gonna turn 73, look in the mirror, and I'll finally be home in my body. And my program is on in the other room, and everything makes sense.

[B]

I'm Robin.

[C]

That's how my mother is. That's. So my mother played music once a week there.

[A]

Would you guys go?

[C]

We went sometimes and it was really fun. No, a bunch of us. And my sister Chaya was great at singing, too. Chaya, nice. Would you sing a song again? I mean, she's got a beautiful voice.

[A]

Kim, let's talk about factor.

[B]

Shout out to factor.

[C]

Factor.

[B]

Factor.

[A]

We love them factor meals over here at Toady's gang. Eating well through the holidays can be tough, as you know. That's why you should try factor chef prepared dietitian approved meals to help you stay balanced and energized through the indulgent time of the holiday season. I got a couple Christmas cookies in me. As you know, I balance that out with a nice factor meal. They're delicious, they're nutritious, and they're always ready to go in two minutes in the old microwave.

[B]

Yeah. Unlike meal kits that require prep and cooking. It's not one of those things where they say, hey, we'll send you a tablespoon of salt this or that. You got to open it up. It's spilling the goddamn seal. Don't open up and you're mixing it up and then you're burning the steak.

[A]

I got presents to open.

[B]

It ain't like that. Factor delivers fully prepared, ready to eat meals in just two minutes. I throw them on a pan real nice. That's what I do. In fact, I just sent a new box yesterday. Came in yesterday. Boys were fighting over. We got it out. We got it in the kitchen over here also.

[C]

Listen, it's tough.

[B]

There's a fat guy my whole life is tough. Tough time of year. You're not gonna make 100. You're not gonna make 100% right decisions. Make a bad decision.

[C]

Then you got factor. Make a good decision.

[B]

Make a decision factor makes it easy to make a good decision. That's all it is baby. Eatsmartfactormuls.com Garbage 50 off and use code Garbage 50 off to get 50% off your first box plus free breakfast for one year. Hachimachi that's code Garbage50OFF@Factor Meals.com for 50% off your first box plus FREE breakfast for one year. This is exclusive holiday offer won't last. Lock in your savings before the new year rush offer only valid for new factor customers with the code and qualifying auto renewing subscription purchase.

[A]

Do it kid. Let's talk about Chime.

[B]

Shout out to Chime Chime is changing.

[A]

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[B]

They're bozos.

[A]

They're jamming you up.

[B]

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[C]

A financial technology company, not a bank. Banking services A secured Chime Visa credit card and MyPay line of credit provided by the Bancor Bank NA or Stride Bank NA. MyPay eligibility requirements apply and credit limit ranges $20 to $500. Optional services and Products may have fees or charges. See chime.com feesinfo advertised annual percentage yield with Chime+ status only. Otherwise, 1.00% APY applies. No min balance required. Chime card on time payment history may have a positive impact on your credit score. Results may vary. See chime.com for details and applicable terms. Very talented family. Yeah, no, a really, really talented family. But. Yeah, but all for fun. You know what I mean? It's like my mother. Yeah. So she would take her hearing aids off when she came home and she'd say, please don't burn the house down. I'm going to bed. That's actually a very good feature for somebody who has 10 kids to go.

[B]

To sleep check out.

[C]

Yeah, we're teenagers. My brothers are smoking hookah downstairs. She doesn't care what the hell is going on. Don't burn the house down. Yeah, hookah.

[A]

You mean doobie?

[B]

No, hookah.

[C]

What are they called, hookah.

[A]

Now? I got you.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

She can do it all.

[A]

What were the vacations like when you were young? Did you guys do anything? No. Vacations.

[C]

Vacations. Yeah, vacations. Yeah. Vacations was if it. If we had a storm. Like a really crazy storm.

[A]

Snowstorm.

[C]

Snowstorm. Yeah. And there was ice and snow on the steps in the front. We'd take the sled down there, down the steps, into the street.

[A]

There you go.

[C]

Pretty much right into the street.

[B]

What was your first job?

[C]

I had a few first jobs. My first job, really was McDonald's.

[B]

No way.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

What age? 14?

[C]

15? No, I was probably 17. 18. Okay. Yeah, probably 18.

[A]

Are you a McDonald's fan?

[C]

Huge.

[B]

Love it.

[C]

It's the greatest restaurant in the world. I mean, that's why there's so many.

[A]

I knew I was gonna love you.

[C]

Right? Taste wise. Taste wise. You cannot deny that McDonald's is the best restaurant in the world. I'm not talking ambiance. I'm not talking what you're bringing with your cocktail mixers and these bartenders. Okay, fine. Taste wise. Alone.

[A]

Hoffman, you're hired.

[C]

You can't beat it, right? And I gotta push back.

[A]

Kevin. James Ryan.

[C]

I.

[B]

Listen, I. We have a guest here just as much as the next guy.

[C]

Taste wise. It's the best. That's why there's so many.

[A]

They're consistent, right? I taste like a McDonald's.

[C]

I grew up kosher. I wasn't able to have McDonald's, and all I wanted was a nugget.

[B]

Well, your palate's all whacked out.

[C]

That's the problem. All I Wanted was a nugget if I could get. Because they had these Happy Meals and everything these kids had in a box and happy. I said, I want to be. I can't be happy.

[A]

Kosher. Everybody was kosher. Of Montreal.

[C]

Yeah, we were kosher. We were religious. We were very religious. Orthodox family. Still no McNuggets. If I could get a nugget with a little bit of honey. It sounded weird to me at first, but the more I thought of it, the more I thought of it, the more I was like, it's gotta be the honey.

[A]

As a kid, that was what they gave you automatically.

[C]

That's amazing.

[A]

With the McNuggets was honey for the kids.

[C]

So now. Now I'm at the house. I'm not kosher anymore.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

I can work at McDonald's and I get the food. I get the food half off.

[A]

Are you out of the house at 18?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Where'd you go?

[C]

Out of the house? No, I lived. I had a couple places. I lived with my sister Chaya. First shout out to Chaya, thank you for letting me live with you. And her boyfriend.

[B]

Good support system with that many.

[C]

Yes. We all kind of. Our first stop out the house was my sister Chaya's. She really has to take it. Yeah. And it's so funny because she must have been maybe. She's 24. And I'm like, yeah, like. And I think she's like. She's working full time in sales. She maybe took a night course too, trying to continue her studies. She's got this boyfriend, useless on the couch. Whatever.

[A]

Seems Jewish.

[B]

Seems like you're over.

[C]

No, no, no. We. Everybody in family's not with a Jew. We are enough Jewish for anyone we're with. Like, we don't. Yeah. We need to diversify. Like, somebody asked me when I'm gay, they're like, oh, do you care about. You know, now that you're lesbian, is Jewish and born, you're. It's like, no, it's. What are we doing? We're not even procreating. Like, what. Why would it be important to me? But.

[B]

And you're so. Your sister. Not with. Didn't marry that guy. That was a template.

[C]

No. Thank God.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

By the grace of God. Because they take advantage.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And. But she would. I would get home from school and she would be getting home from work with her badge and everything in the apartment.

[A]

She a cop?

[C]

No, just like a FOB to get, you know, a lot of real jobs, they have a fob.

[A]

I've heard of this thing. And it's attached to the belt.

[C]

Yeah. And it goes like this. Very professional. It's very professional.

[A]

I always wanted one of those.

[C]

When it slings back, I go, whoa, this is a professional. My big sister.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

And so I would go to her house and she had groceries. You think he would help to bring in the groceries now? He doesn't.

[B]

He doesn't.

[A]

He's on a couch.

[C]

I don't know what he did. Okay. Back then, nobody worked from home. It didn't make sense. What was he doing?

[B]

Fax machine.

[C]

It didn't make sense. Nobody. It wasn't. It wasn't a structure.

[A]

I assume you had some opinions on this guy when you, when he was there?

[C]

We did. I gave him a couple looks.

[B]

Meanwhile, meanwhile I talk about a drafty apartment.

[C]

Meanwhile, he's the kind of guy who lets his girlfriend's s just move in. And then her brother, and then whatever, we all stopped.

[B]

Do you remember where she all lived.

[C]

There for like a year? No idea. Anyway, and I remember like now, like in my head, she must have been like 30s, like 40s, you know, but she's like maybe 22, 23 maybe, you know. And I would get home like, oh, what are we eating? You know, what's for dinner? And she'd be like, Chilean sea bass, sit the fuck down. And she'd be like, printed out a recipe. No kidding, online. Made it cooked every. You know, and it's like, this is a 20 adult.

[B]

Yeah. It's crazy.

[C]

Yeah. And now she's living her dream life and she deserves everything. Bruno, my brother in law, who I love by the grace of God, and I bring up the X a lot. I say, by the grace of God. He goes, well, you stop bringing this guy up.

[B]

It was 20 years ago.

[C]

We've been married now. You were thrilled, like, why? I said, but I'm so traumatized that she almost ended up with this guy instead of Bruno. Thank God.

[A]

Bruno. I love the name.

[C]

Shout out to Bruno.

[A]

Uncle Eddie. Bruno. Were you all very self motivated and yes, it seems that way.

[C]

You have to be. It's like, like a necessity. Like we were. My mother always said, sink or swim. And it was clear that we would have to swim or say, like there was no option.

[A]

Not everybody swims, though. A lot of people sink.

[C]

Yeah, I think accidentally so. My mother was exactly the parent we needed. She would have been spread thin, which she was. She knew she wouldn't be involved. She knew financially she couldn't be supportive. She just in a way, very subtly led by example. For instance, I Love this. My mother went back to school at night. She took to get away from the kids one night a week when we went to sleep. My mother took one night class a week.

[A]

When you guys.

[C]

Yeah, we knew it was Wednesday. Maybe we were asleep. Eight o', clock, like we're winding down. My mother would go, okay, good night. Whatever. We would, you know, my. We would watch you babysit each other, whatever. And my mother went to sleep to school one day a week. And then like years and years go by and now I'm graduating university, which is a big accomplishment in my family. Thank you.

[A]

You're doing this now?

[C]

No, no, no. This is. No. When I graduated, I went to McGill, the Harvard of Canada. Thank you very much. Because it was a Montreal school that if I got in, you could go for free.

[B]

Really?

[C]

Thank you.

[A]

You're welcome. Congratulations.

[C]

So I'm graduating this school and so is my mother. Not what. But suddenly my mother is graduating. We're like, what? What was more impressive than any of us getting a college degree was the fact that my mother. 12 years later, 12 years class by class, once a week for 12 years through the summers. Jesus. Somehow I don't enough credits. The bitch was graduating. We couldn't like. But she never spoke of it. She never anything. It was just something that we, I think soaked up.

[B]

Sure.

[C]

Slow and steady wins the race.

[B]

Hard work, perseverance, betterment.

[C]

Also in terms of. Obviously my mother, you know, when we, you know, now we give anyone they have, you know, they have a kid and three nannies and we call them a stay at home mom. But my mother having the 10 kids cooking every day, doing nine loads of laundry a day, all of it, you know, through that another benefit was my mother was always home. Like, you know, when these. Like actually there was some stability, even though we had a really unstable life. Like looking back, like, you know, there's a lot. And the father. There was something really like we knew where this bitch was grounded. You never had to question where my mother was. She's in the kitchen. There. She is. She's in the kitchen there. She. Where is she? She's in the kitchen.

[A]

Is everybody.

[C]

She really just was always there, ever present.

[A]

Is everybody an adult now?

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Can you rattle off what everybody kind of does?

[C]

I can. My oldest brother's in real estate.

[A]

Real estate.

[C]

My sister Chaya, she's still in tech sales. She's an executive. Baby.

[A]

Look at this.

[C]

Keep going, Arizona. Killing it. And I'm proud of you. And she's made winner circles and had free trips. And you Name it.

[A]

Shout out to Bruno.

[C]

Shout out to Bruno, who also himself is quite an accomplished executive.

[A]

Keep going my guys. Okay, I want to hear him.

[C]

We have my brother who works in security.

[A]

Security?

[C]

Yes, he, he's. He works in security. Then my brother who worked in construction for many, many years and then now is in construction and sales.

[A]

Love it.

[B]

Great.

[C]

And, and, and just doing amazing. I mean, just unbelievable. Owns his house. Then we have me and I entertain an extraordinary.

[A]

What do they say about you?

[C]

The greatest living stand up comedians. I mean, what else is there? No one's arguing what, what else is there to say? Then we have my little brother who's an accountant.

[A]

There you go.

[C]

Excuse me, excuse me. Is that a profession?

[A]

How about that?

[C]

A profession?

[B]

That's pretty good.

[C]

Then we have my little sister who's a mother fucking social worker.

[B]

Come on.

[C]

Giving back, bringing up, risking her life. Because it's. We had social workers checking on us at the house growing up because when you moved to Canada, we moved kind of in a refugee type of state. All these like feral, religious, Amish looking kids show up. We're thrown into these French schools, you know, it's just, it was. We were on, on welfare. My mother comes alone. She doesn't have her a license. She does not get to have her own money. Where the way we were coming from. So you're starting like that. Thank God she was Canadian, by the way.

[A]

Let me ask you this.

[C]

No, no, ask it again. Because it was something, it was just.

[A]

The list of social workers.

[C]

So the social workers would come over because, you know, we lived kind of like. It's not. My sister always reminds it. It's not a crime to be poor. No, but they do have a circumstance. For instance, my sister has seen some kids that are. When she goes into families that. There's a nine year old boy sleeping on a treadmill, old treadmill they found outside and they put a towel on top. That's not an acceptable. You know, they will work to get that kid a bed. Obviously.

[B]

Very nice.

[C]

Okay. So my sister will do that and say, no, it's not a crime to be poor. Like they always. It's very hard for the parents because it's like, am I losing my kid? I'm like, no, no. Like, she's not the police. She's not. There's no, we're just. I'm gonna go shopping with you. I have a budget. She's able to get that money and she's able to like bring some dignity back to some of these families. But when we Were kids, we had those type of checkups where my mother would be like the social work.

[B]

Get up, get up, get off the middle.

[C]

Everybody better look good. That's clean, clean, clean. You're trying to hide cockroaches or whatever, and you sit on the couch. The lady comes, rich lady from God knows where and looking. And it's embarrassing because your mother is embarrassed and she's there kind of to shame how we're living in this whole thing and see if it's adequate. So my sister has that kind of know how now when she goes family, like, it's just a little more like she probably. She right away walks in like, hey, language. We're in this together. What? You know, like, you don't have a laundry machine here. You're wasting your Sunday. You're going to do laundry. Would it help. Would it help if we tried to work on getting you literally, like. Like, she's doing like, the amount of, like, work and paperwork to fill out to get $1,000 to get a laundry machine to a mother of three. It's just nuts. So she was very inspired. And now she's doing the Lord's work and coming from. From an understanding place. Because a lot of times we had these rich ladies come and we kind of knew to do an act because it's like this lady, you know, her husband's a lawyer or something. It's like she doesn't. She's a social worker. She's patting herself.

[B]

She doesn't understand it.

[C]

But it's nice when. When kind of like when you want the police force to. To reflect the community, to have the social workers. And a lot of them do. A lot of them do, by the way. But my sister. Sister is one of them, which is wonderful. And then my other little sister, speaking of housewives, my other little sister has a baby. Mazel tov. And it's just an incredible mom. It's the kind of thing that we didn't even know what my sister would do because she was the kind of. No, she was the kind of girl who was like, ah. I didn't really think, you know, like, she just was. Was somebody into so many things that I didn't know. And mom is like her thing. She makes the baby food herself. She's very involved. Yeah, she's like, really in her element. So it's been amazing.

[A]

Look at you guys. Look at humble beginnings where you came from.

[C]

My brother Shmiely says it best. From nothing to something to everything. He always.

[B]

That could have been written in 1918 my brother smelly says it best.

[C]

He's always telling me he's yelling at me. He FaceTime. Mulaney directed my special, so I had him on FaceTime. Melanie was in the room. And he goes from nothing to something to evidence. I said, you're yelling. He's already helping us.

[B]

I was yelling at John Maloney. Is everybody as you know, I mean, the term we say is like, we call balls and strikes. You're very honest. You're very upfront. You're very. You're not holding any punches. Is everybody in the family like this?

[C]

Yes, I come. That's why people ask me, like, what's my influence? What's this? It's like, nobody's funnier than my family.

[B]

I come from the same thing.

[C]

You know what I mean? Everybody was funny. The whole neighborhood was funny. Everybody was funny. My neighbors were funny. We were funny people.

[B]

I'm the 14th funniest person in my family.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Like my sister Chaya. I mean, just. Even the way she speaks her phraseology. My wife Gabby, loves to hear her talk on the phone. She'd be like, well, Nicola did, like, stuff I haven't heard. Oh, he's a crook. Like, just.

[B]

She probably gets thrown around a lot.

[A]

Crook is great.

[B]

Crook is. We're bringing that. We're. That stealing at. Crook is a great insult.

[C]

I got to say crook, I just lifted from Jess Solomon, who said it to me yesterday.

[A]

Shout out to Jess.

[C]

So that's why. Shout out to Jess for saying that. But reminding about. My sister does speak like that all the time. Stuff like that.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Funny work, funny credit where credit is due. Just brought back crook.

[B]

That's great.

[A]

What a story. What a tale.

[C]

See, I couldn't even just go over that. I had to give crook. I had to. You know what I mean? Because I'm like.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Because I can't even think. Like, she'll go like a bushel. Like, I don't even know the phrases, but a bushel in the hand, a two, and a bird. Like, it's just one in the hand, two in the bush, right?

[A]

Yes. You hop the bus, you end up on a train.

[B]

That's from an old bit that he did.

[C]

Oh, okay. So now I throw it to the old bit.

[A]

It worked in the early 2000s.

[C]

It still works today. All right, close your eyes. Exhale. Feel your body relax, and let go of whatever you're carrying today. Well, I'm letting go of the worry that I wouldn't get my new contacts in time for this class. I got them delivered free from 1-800-contacts. Oh, my gosh. They're so fast. And breathe. Oh, sorry. I almost couldn't breathe when I saw the discount they gave me on my first order. Oh, sorry. Namaste. Visit 1-800-contacts.com today to save on your first order. 1-800-contacts.

[A]

Disney's Lilo and Stitch has finally landed on Disney.

[B]

Now you can watch the global phenomenon at home with your ohana because her.

[C]

Wife, second.

[B]

Lilo and Stitch, is verified hot on Rotten Tomatoes with an audience score of 93%. Perfect stitch, also cute and fluffy. Disney's Lilo and Stitch, rated PG now streaming on Disney. And right now, you can get Disney, Hulu, and all of ESPN with an incredible limited time offer. Terms apply.

[A]

Let's talk about now a little bit, please. No. Humble beginnings and unbelievable story. And I'm sure they are all ecstatic about your success.

[C]

They're really supportive. They really, really are. I'm bringing my brother. I'll get to do.

[A]

What do they say when. When you're like, hey, I got nominated for an Emmy award. What do they say?

[C]

I mean, it's crazy because we already thought. We already think we win it. Like, the arrogance is also crazy because it's like.

[B]

I was going to say, the joke was, it's about time.

[C]

Yeah. My sister comes. I invited Clayer to come to the Emmys with me. And so we go to the Emmys, and the whole morning, we wake up, we're like, it's a shoe in. Like, we will wake up like, we already won. Like, she's getting her hair done. Right? I got my.

[B]

We got this. Practice your face. Practice your face.

[C]

I'm, like, ironing my outfit. I'm like, this is unbelievable. Like, we're already planning what we're gonna eat after. Like, we have the whole day.

[B]

So funny.

[C]

We get into the Emmys. We get into the Emmys. And they. By the way, she's like, I don't even know who else they would give it to. I mean, I'm looking at this category. There's nobody here, by the way. My category was Olivia Colman, Zoe Kravitz. Like, literally, she's like, who would they? I had six lines, and she's like, I don't even see how they could give it to anybody else. And we get there.

[A]

Let's just get it and get out of here.

[C]

That's what I'm saying. Excuse me, can we speed this up? We ended up being the first award of the night. We were supposed to be like, later in the show but then they said, actually, we're gonna do the actors up front. So I was the very first award of the night. So we're sitting. We get there. We had some free champagne, which we had to beg for. She said, there's no open bar. We were, okay, we have to promise. Beg for. Well, you think it's Emmy. Everything's gold.

[B]

I agree with you.

[A]

Wait. There's no open.

[C]

Wait, what even.

[A]

There's no open bar.

[C]

It is cash bar.

[B]

Hollywood. This is why you're tanking.

[A]

You're telling me Jon Hamm's walking up and getting a Michelob Ultra and paying.

[C]

That's what I'm telling you. What? This is the case. What I'm telling you.

[B]

What's a beer? What's a drink go for?

[C]

There's a glass of sugar. $9.

[B]

What are we doing? What are we doing?

[C]

And I don't even bring money.

[A]

I thought you were gonna.

[C]

I thought you're rolling out the red carpet, quite literally.

[B]

I haven't won yet, but I'm gonna win. I should get free drinks.

[C]

We walk in, bigger than Jon Hamm. We walk in. My sister's like, we're walking in. She's like this with Ron Howard.

[A]

Like, literally, my sister won an Emmy.

[C]

Yeah. And then we're the first award. So we have a little champagne. We sit. I lose. It happens like that. It happens, like, in three seconds.

[A]

Like, it's like a bad horse race.

[C]

We walk in, and it's over. It's, like, over before you even. It's like. It's like. So I. I, I, I. Immediately, we sit down, we lose, and she goes, we don't eat this. She rips me out. We're out. We're out.

[A]

Did you guys leave?

[C]

Yeah, all the way from Arizona. This is. I don't need this. So we walk out. We're sitting in the front. They have us, like, the actors in the front. So we leave. We leave immediately. And they're like, no, no, Robbie, you're still presenting, right? Like, you have an award to present. I. I said, nah, I don't think I want to do that anymore. Well, you have to. I'm the being. I'm. Am. I wallow. I'll tell you this. You lose, lose. Really feel the loss. You win, celebrate.

[A]

Did you dip and not present?

[C]

I said, my circumstance has changed. My circumstance.

[A]

Rock star.

[C]

I've ever heard of my life change. They didn't let me extract me. They said, calm down. My manager's like, no, no. Like, this is like, you can't just Switch last minute, they can't find a presenter.

[B]

I think you're trying.

[A]

That's the coolest thing I've ever.

[C]

So finally, two hours later, we're like calming down Kaya and, and, And Ron Howard are like. And he's like, I know, it's criminal. And she's like, it's criminal.

[A]

You know, like, your sister's complaining to Ron.

[C]

Yes. And he's. He's, by the way, shout out to him. He's. He's agreeing. He's giving her everything she needs. So he's giving her ever. He's going, I know, it's sick. It's a sick business. She goes, it's sick.

[B]

So crazy.

[C]

She goes, do you know how much my top was? He said, I can only imagine. She said, I sent 340 for this top.

[A]

You're fucking with this, right?

[C]

No, this is her the whole time. She goes, and it's a two piece. It looks like a one piece. It's a two piece. I bought them separately. She's horrified. I've made her buy an outfit.

[A]

In any event, not to mention the nine dollar shampoo.

[C]

Yeah. So she. They have me go to the. They have me go to the prompter to figure out what I'm. They want me to say something to introduce these awards. And I go, I already know. I'm not saying nothing in the prompter. I'm going with the motions. Going with the motions. I got up there at the end of the night. Everybody is. I was the last award presented and I said, it's over. I lost. There's nothing to say. The room falls apart. It was actually a huge. I didn't know we hadn't been watching that. The room had been lulling about all night. They said it actually. We ended up actually being the silver lining because I was like. I was like, this is sick. The fact that they even brought me out here to present after experiencing such a loss is criminal.

[B]

Your sister's up there.

[C]

Okay. No, that. My sister sitting in the audience. I said, you know what? Chi is here. Why doesn't she present at the end? Do you want to present at the Emmys? Security's looking. I'm like, what, you're going to let Will Smith walk up whenever he wants? But my sister, who's come all this way.

[B]

She gets up there and she's a natural invited.

[C]

She's like severance. I'm like, severance.

[A]

Your sister. You're lying to us.

[C]

No, I have the pictures.

[A]

You're. This is all true.

[C]

This is all true. She did amazing.

[A]

You're gonna own a studio in a couple.

[C]

I would be surprised if they don't ask her back.

[B]

She's hosting next year.

[C]

This is Dude Hoffman.

[A]

That's crazy, man.

[C]

Look. This is us presenting.

[A]

That's great. Who's with you?

[C]

That's my sister.

[B]

Who are you supposed to be presenting with originally? That is a nice top. I have to say, standing there.

[A]

That's the craziest shit I ever seen.

[B]

Did you go out with anybody or is it just you?

[C]

Just me and my sister. Look at her. This is when we lost and probably got some champagne.

[A]

It's in a plastic cup, by the.

[B]

Way, also dressed like Richard Lewis.

[C]

Yeah. So my sister presented. She was really on stage and she did a great job. And then after, at the party, we were the talk of the town. Of course, we turned that frown upside down. Down. It ended up being a great night. But let me lose. When I lose, I can't right away be a not sore loser. Let me 10 minutes of a sore loser and then I'll come back.

[B]

Man.

[A]

Trying to walk out on the Emmys. You are trash. This is awesome. That's the coolest thing I've ever heard in my life.

[C]

You can't just sit there and you're lost. Like, I'm not ready for that. Like, if the camera went to us, we were like. Because we were in.

[A]

She's mouthing to the camera $9 like.

[B]

This whole thing's rigged.

[C]

We were in shock that I lost for three lines.

[B]

That's so funny.

[C]

When we're up against Olivia Colman, Julian Nichols, Julian Nicholson. Like, she's the greatest to ever do it. I don't know how we walk.

[A]

I've seen the clip. She should have had it.

[C]

Thank you.

[A]

You're great in the.

[C]

That's the attitude. Thank you.

[A]

The sexy show with Michelle Williams, fantastic actor.

[C]

I wasn't nominated for that as well. I'll say that. I'll say that. I will say that.

[A]

All right, let's talk about now.

[B]

What kind of car you got now?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

The greatest car.

[A]

I have a feeling it's not gonna.

[C]

Be I got a Porsche 911.

[A]

No, you're not.

[C]

I'm not joking.

[B]

Who are you?

[A]

Yeah, who are you?

[C]

You want to hear my car history? That's a better history.

[B]

Yeah, run that. I don't want to ask you. We usually ask what your first car is, but I assumed it was being the poverty upbringing. I assumed it was.

[C]

I'll show you my first car. Let's just go through it. Okay.

[A]

Real quick, though.

[C]

You can cut whatever you want. You can cut whatever you want. This is the show and we are not telling you.

[A]

Robbie, just let me recap this.

[C]

Our journey is the journey.

[A]

Robbie, let me recap this.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

You got four episodes of Hacks. You get nominated for a guest star, for an Emmy. You lose in two seconds and you want to dip, you're driving a porch. 911 Hollywood.

[C]

You better believe.

[A]

You bring your sister up to present.

[C]

You better believe.

[B]

Crazy.

[C]

You might save that town. Okay. Exactly.

[B]

Burn it all down. Either way, you're making history.

[C]

We're making history. And you know what? You're gonna see the car. So my first car. I didn't grow up with cars.

[B]

That's what I found.

[C]

Because I got my license late in my 20s, because like any east coaster, New York was the subway. Montreal had transit. So we just. And we were poor. My mother didn't have a license, so we were all on the bus with my mother. My mother was having us run to the bus. Tell him to wait. Tell them wait. I was like, my mother's coming. She's got grocery bags, please. You know, and we would all file onto the bus. But when I moved to la.

[B]

How old are you at this point?

[C]

I moved to la maybe like 10ish years ago. Maybe nine or eight years ago. Something like that. Never had a car. But LA is a car city.

[B]

Car city, of course.

[C]

Okay. Now, my budget for the car was maybe $5,000.

[B]

Pretty good budget. Solid.

[C]

But it's really. Yeah. In LA, that is good.

[A]

You're a saver, right? You saved your money.

[C]

Yeah, well, it was. It was. Yeah, I was. I was just like, yes, I do save my money. But also for a car, it was like the thing like with insurance, like, I was like 5,000 kind of in for the year. Okay. But also the thing was, I was coming from Canada all my adult life before that, so I never built credit in the US Because I was a kid in the us. So then when you come back, you start. You start on a starter card. If you get a credit card, it's like $300. I can't lease a car. I'm free credit.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I have to buy a car cash. So that's why the budget's like, I can't. If I was leasing, maybe my budget.

[B]

Would be for a bigger car.

[C]

Because I could do maybe 300amonth or something like this.

[A]

Sure.

[C]

But now I have to lose it all in one chunk. I have to lose it all in one chunk. 5,000 is a lot I really wanted 3,000, but I said I'll go to five.

[B]

To die for, not a penny more.

[C]

Okay, I just found it and now I have to go back already because I talked too long in between.

[A]

You are going to be 73. You get the phone out.

[C]

You should see your text.

[B]

It's like huge.

[C]

No, it's not. Okay, so this was the car I bought a 1983 Toyota Corolla ten years ago.

[A]

83?

[C]

Yeah, 1983.

[A]

That was five grand.

[C]

You got $3,600.

[B]

They saw you coming from Toronto.

[A]

That's crazy.

[C]

Okay, so I.

[B]

How many miles?

[C]

Nothing. 120. Which for a 35 year old car, that's not nothing.

[A]

120,000.

[C]

Yes, but I'm just saying for that car of that age, and I'll tell.

[B]

You, I drove it.

[C]

Okay, so maybe I bought this car 10 years ago because I drove it for seven years. Every mechanic I went to for the oil, I was diligent as I take care of all of my things because I thought I'm running this car for like I do have to have those.

[B]

Car for your lifeline.

[C]

Yeah, I'm spending. Okay. They said the car is going to go to a million miles. They said this car I every nook and cr. Every, every sound, I bring it. I'd say, Carlos, what's happening? It's, it's good, it's good, it's good. Come back in a year. But I'd say what's happening here? Okay, the car, $3,600. He was selling it for 5,500 off Craigslist. Now I had been doing all my research about cars. I learned what to look for a little bit. But I also, and this is my tip to anybody buying a used car.

[B]

This is big.

[C]

There are other websites that do this. At the time I used a website called mymechanic.com. it was a hundred bucks. You bring somebody for a pre sale car inspection, they will look at everything for you. If you don't know anything about cars, do not go to a lot alone hire.

[B]

They'll kidnap you.

[C]

Yes, it's $100. And you know, I really was like, I could pay for this three times. I'll see three cars. So make sure it's a car you really want to say and that a hundred dollars could save you $5,000. I'm just saying definitely spend that extra 100 and get a, a mechanic. MyMechanic.com was like Uber for mechanics. Like when they're not working at their shop. They also do like Side stuff. Yeah, I did that. I found this car, pretty much was clean. I brought this guy, okay? He wanted 5,500. All I showed up with was 3,600. That's the other friend.

[B]

Sam Rubinoff did that.

[C]

You show up cash. If they say cash, okay? Not with the Venmo. Not with anything. Okay? You get. You go to the bank, you run to. You run because you have cash on you. I look like I have cash on me when I have cash on me. Like I'm the most easily robable person because I'm so nervous to have cash on me that you could tell.

[A]

Is it an envelope?

[C]

It's in an envelope. It's crisp. It's. It's excellent. I go from the bank, then I get there and I go. I gotta be honest with you. I have 36. This is. It's cash in the hand. Something psychological. The guy is desperately.

[B]

Very true.

[C]

Okay, there's something. It's cash in the hand. Who's gonna buy this car? I drove for seven years. My friend Sophie, who's another dyke like me who knows cars, she finds a buyer for it. So then I start doing well in stand up. I have to. Actually, the car is great for la. I drove it every single day. I say. But now I'm like, maybe sometimes driving to San Diego or I'm driving to Brea, or I'm doing gigs all over. I'm going. It's a little, you know, because. Because I gotta have the hazards on sometimes on the 1983 car because it doesn't go that fast. As fast as cars go now.

[B]

So I'm like this fast as cars go now?

[C]

No, I've never been in the left lane in that car.

[A]

Sure. So.

[C]

And it took me twice as long to get anywhere. Because if you really pushed it, it would shake. That was its one thing. But it drove good if you drove it in a normal speed, I. E. Not the highway. So I avoided the highway where I could, but in la, it's difficult. It took me two hours to get down the block. You know what I mean? So finally, my Covid happens. My car becomes vintage. It turns 30, okay. Something like that. It became like a collecting hot. People loved the car. She found. She found a buyer for $9,000. I'm not making this up. She found a buyer. He had the one. He had the same car, the Toyota lineup from 1983, but they made that in brown and baby blue. Like I had it. Beautiful color, baby blue. I wish it would come back. And he, he, he. He bought the car, when everything was said and done with the shipping and everything was $6,000 for a car that I bought for 3, 600. I made money on the car. That's not it. I took that money and I found I always wanted Porsche. Why did I always want Porsche?

[B]

That'd be my question.

[A]

Your poor kid.

[B]

Here's the whole one. It drove past you at some point.

[C]

The only thing I ever heard of was Porsche because of my father. My father always wanted a Porsche. And I don't, I don't have a relationship with my father. He's not in our life. But there's something I always. People do assume that I'm like a car person. I know everything about cars. I really only know Porsche because my father, one of the good memories I have is like he always wanted this car and he would take a picture in front of a Porsche or a picture in a Porsche, you know, and that sort of thing. And I just, it just when I'm driving that car and I look in the rear view and I see my eyes, I see his eyes. It's a way to have. As I get older I realize yes, I don't get to have like a, like a physical relationship, not in that way with my father, but I do get to have a relationship with him in the ways that I am like him or the ways that I find the joy of him, which is liking this car. Obviously it's not ideal, but it's not nothing. And it's just always, it's always I just feel a connection. But it's not like I knew of other cars. The only reason I got that Toyota little one because it was two door like a Porsche. I was always trying to get up to that. So then I said any Porsche I take. But of course I can't. It's not like a Toyota where it's like if something goes wrong it would be as expensive as something. So I waited, waited. I had this car for seven years but I found. But I always was scout, you know, always scouting Craigslist and used lots for maybe a fixer upper Porsche that didn't have like I didn't care if it had cosmetic issues but like just the engine and, and I found a Cayman which is a base based model Porsche. I could not do the box drive find that an abomination. I needed the good for you, good for you. I felt like we have to just either get to be able Cayman people would agree with would also say is an abomination. But the fact that it's trying to look like the thing that we want as at least better for me. Let's give an effort. And I got that one for 13,000 minus six.

[B]

That's pretty good, right? That's amazing. How many miles on that when you bought it?

[C]

Not a lot. 88. But that had a tremendous amount. Everything was aftermarket. The stripes. This guy before me, he put stripe stickers on the Porsche. The. The fading was the whole thing to the point that it looked like almost like. Oh, it's actually cool that it's like patina. Mm. But it was like, not.

[A]

Can I ask you this? Is it an automatic or a stick?

[C]

Everything's automatic. Again, I don't know. Porsche had it like. I'm not like a car I got you. I just want a Porsche because that's.

[B]

What I grew up.

[A]

If you were driving a stick, my head would explode.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I would assume you're happy.

[C]

My. My wife knows how to drive stick.

[A]

It's awesome.

[C]

She's a badass. Yeah. Yeah. And. And the Cayman. Then I came in. Then I had some. So I drove the Cayman for only a couple years because then I found my Grail. A black 91110 interior. Give it up for all the Californication fans.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And it was. I got 18,000 for my Cayman. Jesus Christ, stepping in shit. If you buy, you can't lose. If you buy things that appreciate, that hold their value, what am I gonna spend 30 grand on a Kia that's worth 2 grand next year?

[A]

I gotta take shots on my friend?

[B]

I kinda did that.

[C]

Buy an old Porsche that could sell for nothing, for scrap. They'll buy it, right? There are people who fix these up. It's a whole market. I sold it for 18k. This one was 28,000. I got it for 10,000. I have no car payment.

[A]

Are you doing well at this point when you buy this?

[C]

Yes, But I still only got the car for $10,000. And this is my final Grail car. Like. Like this year, 2001.

[B]

How many miles were on it?

[C]

Like 86. Okay.

[A]

Look at you. It's great.

[C]

It's great.

[B]

That's awesome. You refer to it as the Porsche. Like, I'm gonna take the Porsche.

[C]

No.

[A]

What's the wife drive?

[C]

Alexis suv.

[A]

Nice.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

She does well as well.

[C]

Yeah, but she doesn't. You know, it's not like we care about cars. I only care, and she doesn't care at all.

[B]

Gotcha.

[A]

Where are you living now?

[C]

I mean, I'm the kind of person that when she gets back, I make sure I get her car detailed. I like to keep it washed. I like to keep it. She doesn't even. I said, babe, you noticed you had a full tank of gas? I have to tell her, because it's not noticeable to her that she was on empty.

[A]

Since over to my house.

[C]

What are you doing? What I'm doing?

[A]

Where are you living now? You got the house? You got an apartment?

[C]

No, we rent.

[A]

You rent?

[C]

Yeah. House. We rent an apartment.

[A]

Rent an apartment.

[C]

I feel safer on an apartment.

[A]

You feel safer in an apartment?

[C]

What? I'm on the street. It's the street. It's my door. What?

[A]

What? A house.

[C]

A house. It's the street. Here's my door.

[A]

You're living in a hallway?

[C]

No, no. Exactly. I. I can't. I gotta be. There's gotta be steps, there's gotta be a door. There's gotta be your fucking elevator that doesn't work. You can't get up.

[A]

First the key and now our elevator.

[C]

That's it.

[B]

It's an 88. What do you want from me?

[C]

It's crazy. He said, close the door. Close the door. Make sure you. It's like there's no handle on it. There's no way.

[B]

I gotta be honest. That is a.

[C]

Who gave me that advice?

[B]

That was me. That was a. That's a this week problem.

[A]

How'd you turn on us? What'd we do?

[C]

So the door to the elevator is a flapper door like this. Okay. There's no handle. It's as if it's a. It's a push door into a kitchen or something.

[A]

You putting our business out there?

[C]

No, there's not. He goes, just make sure you slam it shut when you got in the elevators. But there's nowhere to pull the door shut. Give it a little push crack. And then it. It self stops itself a little bit.

[B]

You're not wrong. These are all valid. Valid complaints. I'm surprised it took you five minutes.

[C]

To bring it up. You knew that. You gave me faulty advice.

[A]

We could have talked about this off air.

[C]

No, what you could do is you could come all the way down the stairs and ride it up with me.

[B]

That wouldn't be advice.

[C]

No, but say, I'll come and get you.

[B]

We. We were sending someone down.

[C]

No, they didn't tell me. I was already nine flights up. I was reliving 911 up there.

[A]

You with 9 11?

[C]

No, but the firefighter said, emotionally, all their gear. We know how many flights of stairs. I know, but it gives me. I have another respect for them when I do something like That I go, wow, look at me.

[B]

Oh, did you take the stairs up?

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Oh, I didn't know. I apologize. All of this is deserved. I apologize.

[C]

I took upstairs up.

[A]

We apologize. We gave you the green tea.

[C]

It's delicious.

[A]

$9. By the way.

[C]

Did we cover some ground today or what?

[A]

Crazy.

[B]

Just a few. I got a. Yeah, one or two. There's no little quick ones here.

[C]

Whatever you want. I'm here for your purchase. I consider you fam. Now, I really have enjoyed this.

[A]

I'm telling you right now, it's great. You're, like, one of my favorite people.

[C]

You're one of my favorite people. It takes nothing for me. I know right away. No, I know right away. If I don't or if I do, I do.

[B]

Good gauge of character.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Any dumb. While we're on purchase, any purchases, you look back. You said you're good with money, but any purchase, you look back and like, I didn't. Shouldn't have done that.

[A]

When you got, like, your first big check.

[B]

It didn't have to be big.

[C]

No, you know what? I talked about this at length. I and my brother Levy has always given advice like this. When you get. Like. My first big check was $65,000 for a show that I sold two years ago, but I hadn't been paid in ever, of course. You know what I mean? So I'm thinking, okay, well, we'll put it aside. Maybe we'll open like a 401k and, you know, get something like, put $3,000 here. Put 3,000. I don't know. And he said, you better take a little bit off the top. You just take a little bit. Yes. Everything to your plan, but you have to treat yourself a little bit off the top. And I bought a watch also. We were talking about watches also used 1991. It had to be 1991, the year my sister was born, because I feel like the family's complete.

[A]

Your youngest sister?

[C]

Yeah. And I, I, I, I got the watch, and I wear it every day for, like, I've been wearing it for since I got it.

[A]

Can we ask you what it is?

[C]

Yes. It's a 1991 base. Base. Okay. So under people who know watches, it's a Rolex Air King, which I got again for 3, $600. Why $3,600? Every double. I'm also paranoid and superstitious with numbers. 18 is a very lucky number. 36 is double 18. If I could offer 18, I would, but I normally.

[B]

Then you didn't want to be left out of the store.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. So.

[A]

So you are a fucking boss.

[C]

Yeah, but. But then it's one. I have one of everything. Like, people go, oh, is this your. Do you have another? No, I have one car. I have one watch. I have. I. I don't have a lot of things, but the things that I have. I do a tremendous amount of research, calculated. And it could take years. I mean, watches I've been looking at since I'm a kid. It could take years. I mean, I had a watch. Yeah, I had a watch when I was maybe five years old. Beauty and the Beast watch or something where the.

[A]

Bought it for 20 bucks. Sold it for 7,000.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. Or Belle the Princess's head open. And it was a digital watch with the time.

[B]

I remember those.

[C]

I would say, ma, ask me what time it is. Ma, ask me what time it is. Well, I just told you, you know, laundry. Nobody was asking me the time. And I had this watch going on.

[A]

I'm working on material here.

[C]

Yeah, I still love when somebody asked me the time because I go, as a matter of fact. But. But, yeah, I. So. But I've had stupid purchases. The thing. The. The dumbest purchase is like. I think the hardest thing for me is clothes because I wear men's clothes and I need them to be small. So my size is all. It's just tough that. I think I measured it probably, and I buy everything used as, you know, so that includes my clothes. You do all my clothes.

[B]

Is it like designer closing?

[C]

This is $7. This is. This is from the Goodwill, which. Their price is. $7 at the Goodwill is expensive and I'm sick about that. But anyway, because some people really need. But no, everything.

[A]

What is it? What brand is it?

[C]

I don't know. What is it?

[A]

Is it like L.L. bean? Because you're sharp. What is it?

[B]

Tag is hanging off.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Danzen.

[C]

No, it's like. Oh, Jansen sweater.

[A]

I thought it was like an L.L. bean or J. Crew or something.

[C]

No, no, no, no, no. Everything is like. I buy all pre. You know, clothing. I'll have.

[A]

Fix her tag for it.

[C]

I'll have it. Thank you.

[B]

I don't want to. Uncle Eddie.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, exactly. Uncle Eddie would never.

[B]

My Uncle Eddie. I'm talking about my Uncle Eddie.

[C]

Uncle Eddie would never. No, but like a designer jacket or something. Like, I'll buy on Grailed or I'll buy on Depop or I'll. If I really.

[B]

Are these reusable? I don't know.

[C]

Yeah, these are. These are pre owned. I normally buy A lot of everything I own is pre owned and holds value to some extent. A sweater is a sweater. When I bring this back to Goodwill or whatever, I'll donate it, obviously, but they'll be able to sell it again and they'll make a profit. Okay, let me ask you this. But clothing, sometimes I've ordered something online and you can't return on the pre owned site. So that is the problem. A lot of it is final sale and it's. Even though I measured with the, with the measuring tape, it's not the right size.

[B]

We are different.

[A]

What about the missus? She spends money on clothes.

[C]

We don't count each other's stuff at all.

[A]

No kidding.

[C]

You know what? I introduced her to the whole pre owned.

[A]

Really?

[C]

She didn't. She was at Zara and all these fast fashion sites. And it's funny, this is a really good story that a lot of people don't, don't know. One of our first sleepovers. Why should she leave in the clothes she came the night before? It's unbecoming. Right. So I gave her a sweater.

[A]

Huh.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

One of yours?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

I said, go home and take a sweater, you know, and she came over, you know, not wearing a sweater. So we'll leave it at that. You know, we had a nice dinner and she was in her, you know.

[B]

Whatever and then leaving like a floozy.

[C]

You know what I'm saying? In the morning, you're cold. Suddenly we're adults. We were.

[A]

But did you not want her to leave? Like, you didn't want her to have, like, make the walk of, the walk of shame?

[C]

Yeah. Just to her car. Why should she be freezing and put back on her dress or whatever. Just here's a, here's, here's some sweats and here's a sweater.

[B]

Here's a ganset sweater.

[A]

That's a class move though.

[C]

Yeah. Why should she, like, you know what I mean? So I gave her the sweater and then I, I went to her house the next time that we hung out, and I noticed my sweater, it's just on the floor. It's, it's. It's totally disregarded. Not the way that I carry my. Everything I have is. I may only have four sweaters, but they're folded.

[B]

Four sweaters.

[C]

Yeah. I don't have a lot of. Like, I, I buy everything. Like, if I, if I need, like, I'll be like, okay, I have black pants.

[B]

Goes back to the watch.

[C]

Yeah, I have. The things I have. Are, are, Are like good or I wanted them or they, you know, or they, they make me happy or they're what I want to wear. Like they're specific.

[A]

You know, you're so thought through and.

[C]

Thought everything is very thoughtful. Exactly. I, I, that's the way I acquire things. Very slow and steady. Just like my career. Slow and steady wins the race, baby. And, and I've been slow and steady before you know it, after 10 years, you have four nice sweaters instead of 30.

[B]

That's real slow, by the way.

[C]

Instead of 30, what do you have? 30, 30. Under Armour. This, that.

[B]

The other dipeg is an Under Armor guy. No, I'm also, I, I was this, I get that. I was the same. And I found just higher quality. I buy a lot of them. You buy one thing I like and I'll buy, I buy 10 of the same high quality.

[C]

10 is crazy. But you know what?

[B]

It's actually like 30. I don't want to, I don't want to brag.

[C]

Have too much stuff, guys. You gotta clean up. Okay, So I, I left it. So I see the sweater on the floor and I'm a very long winded individual speaking. But anyway, my, my, my wife's podcast is actually called Long Winded. Check it out. My podcast Too Far is Patreon only as we don't accept any corporate dollars because they won't give them to us. So we are on.

[A]

Is that right?

[C]

I didn't know you had a bottom far on Patreon.

[A]

Too far.

[C]

Too far. And we're going to be doing the too far 1k. The not too far. We are starting a 1k, right? Not too far. Yes, because how far is it? I don't know, but further than I've ever gone.

[B]

Not five.

[C]

Okay, one K. Well, let's let us start.

[A]

I think that's less than a mile. Yeah, I could do that.

[C]

But it's more than a mile. But imagine running half a mile. No, I came up six steps. I'm like, forget it. Let me start somewhere.

[B]

0.62 miles.

[C]

You know, so anyway, also paid.

[B]

We got, we have a little Patreon. Go check out the.

[C]

Of course I'm on tour. By the time this comes out, maybe it'll be sold out. Maybe it won't. You'll get lucky. I don't know. The sweater is on the floor. Disgrace, I take it. I go, oh, it's too. I said I was. You don't like the sweater? I was gonna let you keep the sweater. Okay. It's a very good sweater. I was gonna let you keep it because I Actually, I don't wear it anymore. Or I was going to resell it. And she goes, now I don't. You know, I go, oh, it's a shame. It's a Prada sweater. She goes. Her whole demeanor change. It doesn't say Prada everywhere. It says nothing. It's a Prada sweater. It's a great cardigan and it has just a little tag. Prada. And I bought it pre owned for a good price. And it'll sell for a good price.

[A]

For a good price.

[C]

Okay. And she wears that sweater to this day.

[B]

Oh shit.

[A]

Isn't that adorable?

[C]

But isn't that crazy how that so.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

But now she's all about prion. I said, babe, you can have whatever you want if you. Listen, if you're a little patient and you like the hunt and you like to look through stuff, then okay, look through stuff. And. And you can find something if you do have a particular brand that you're into or whatever. I just. There's so much clothes. The landfills are. Are. They don't need the. And by the way, donating clothes. They have too much clothes. Yeah, the poor money, not clothes we need. You know what I mean? It's like there's too much clothes. You. You're hoarding clothes. It's really.

[B]

I wear them though.

[A]

He just gave clothes to a friend of ours.

[B]

Lost a couple of pounds, didn't compliment me. No big deal. Shifting all. Shifting all those clothes to one of our friends.

[A]

That sounds fantastic.

[C]

Looking good.

[B]

Cut it with a knife.

[C]

Yeah, looking good.

[B]

But I mean, I mean. What? This is wild story.

[A]

Will you come back? You come back and hang out with us.

[C]

By the way, I can't wait. Yeah, by the way, I can't.

[A]

You gotta come back.

[C]

I can't wait. This is the new fam. This is unreal. Maybe I'll be the third. We don't know.

[A]

We don't know. She buys it out from under us.

[C]

I am Robbie Hoffman. Follow me on Instagram. I'll be on tour in some cities near you.

[B]

Great.

[C]

Not all of them. I gotta relax.

[B]

I got this one. K. I'm gearing up for love.

[C]

I My special Wake up is live on Netflix.

[B]

Yes. Check it out, gang.

[A]

So much so live on Netflix. You got projects coming out. One of the funniest, one of the most unique, fascinating guests we've ever had.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

But really, are you ready?

[C]

Well, yeah, no, I'm ready.

[A]

You're garbage.

[C]

Yeah, no, I am.

[B]

Yeah, for sure.

[C]

No, somebody called. But the good.

[A]

The best kind.

[C]

Jewish trash. He said he never met anybody.

[B]

I couldn't. I couldn't say that.

[A]

Who said this? Bruno?

[C]

No, they said Stavi was saying. You know that. Yeah, Stavi was saying that he's seen white trash, but he's never heard of Jewish trash. And as a compliment, you must have.

[A]

Been blowing his mind.

[C]

I take that as a compliment, I guess. But for this show, I'm Jewish garbage.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Jewish garbage.

[B]

Welcome to the park.

[A]

Welcome to the program of the family.

[C]

Thank you.

[A]

Robbie Hoffman, ladies and gentlemen. Check out Wake up on Netflix. Check out our podcast on Patreon. Robbie.

[B]

We love you guys. Our 2026 tour is on sale right now. A bunch of cities we're adding more. Tickets are going fast. Get them. We'll see you out there. We love them.

[C]

You gang.

[A]

We love you. Love you, buddy.

[C]

Love you. I love you guys. Thank you.

[A]

See you next week.

[C]

Thank you.