Marcello Hernández

Summary

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Guest: Marcello Hernández
Release Date: January 26, 2026
Episode Theme:
A lively, candid, and often hilarious two-hour conversation between Dax, Lily, and rising SNL star Marcello Hernández, exploring his immigrant family background, the winding road to stand-up and SNL, generational and cultural divides, how formative hardship shapes creative drive, and the fine-edged messiness of growing up.

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Episode Overview

Dax and Lily welcome stand-up comic and SNL cast member Marcello Hernández, noted for his Netflix special American Boy, to discuss his upbringing in a Cuban-Dominican immigrant family, the culture clash of relocating from Miami to Ohio, the bittersweet pivot from aspiring soccer star to comic, his circuitous route to SNL, and how family, discipline, and identity feed his creative voice. Throughout, the trio delights in generational slang debates, the nuances of growing up “between” worlds, and the joys and anxieties of new opportunity.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Gifts and Icebreakers (03:09–07:45)

• Marcello brings Marshalls gifts for Dax and Lily, leading to playful banter about discount shopping, “girl dinner” meanings, and holiday attire.
• Quote:

  “I think we’re all sponsored by money, so I got you some stuff.” —Marcello (05:06)

Family Structure and Influence (08:00–15:00)

• Marcello describes being raised by a trio: mom, dad, and a meaningful stepdad, each with distinct backgrounds (Cuban, Cuban exile, Dominican).
• The group explores immigrant parent dynamics, “earning” affection, and generational gap realities.
• Quote:

  “My mom is the president, my sister the vice president... the little girl gets to do whatever she wants. My mom is living vicariously, giving her the childhood she didn’t get.” —Marcello (14:40)

Language, Process, & Accents (10:00–11:10)

• Discussion on code-switching between perfect English and “spicy” Spanish.
• Marcello discovers he writes jokes faster in Spanish, revealing creative process.
• Quote:

  “If you leave me in Miami for an hour, it’s gonna get a little bit spicy… I can write faster in Spanish.” —Marcello (10:18)

Being on the Generational “Cusp” (12:00–13:15)

• Marcello feels both Gen Z and Millennial: tech savvy but steeped in older, immigrant-influenced values.
• The visual, “grabbing” way he communicates is tied to millennial/immigrant hybrid energy.

Childhood in Miami / DR Patriotism (18:00–21:00)

• Split childhood between Miami and frequent trips to the Dominican Republic with his father.
• Vivid contrast between American and Dominican kids: DR children “grow up fast,” are less coddled, more formal in language and manner.
• Quote:

  “A Dominican kid, he might be 12, but he’s 40. It’s a different energy.” —Marcello (19:11)

School Discipline & Early Soccer Dreams (21:13–26:30)

• Marcello’s discipline struggles in Miami’s Jesuit boys school; soccer as primary identity ("my wife").
• The humbling experience of being given “number 50” jersey—eventually maturing into a disciplined, standout senior.
• Choosing between Division 3 soccer offers and stand-up, with pivotal family support and the pain of quitting the team.
• Emotional recounting of telling his coaches and teammates he's leaving soccer to pursue comedy.
• Quote:

  “Soccer was my wife. Stand-up was my mistress… My heart beat so fast for it. I don’t get that feeling with soccer anymore.” —Marcello (24:45)

College, Comedy Beginnings & Model Arab League (39:46–43:28)

• Adapting (sometimes awkwardly) to small-college Ohio life, including joining Model UN/Arab League and the Latin students club.
• “Boys night” vs. “Gettys” (Miami slang for house parties), and the cultural shock of Ohio's gender-skewed, beer-fueled gatherings.
• Quote:

  “The vibe in Miami was four guys and six to seven hundred girls. In Ohio, it was boys night. The boys were like, ‘How many kegs do we have?’ I’m like, ‘There’s no girls in the field!’” —Marcello (38:00)

Stand-Up Grind, Pandemic Hustle, and Internet Breakout (46:58–54:05)

• Marcello’s odd jobs in NYC: selling comedy tickets, “selling electricity” door-to-door (“You’re not gonna compete with Con Ed…” —Dax).
• Pandemic derails live work; returns to Miami, becomes obsessive about COVID precautions, and nearly loses creative hope.
• Begins making short videos in his parents’ home—one (“I use an accent when I feel uncomfortable at a supermarket…”) goes viral.
• Builds up “a quilt out of $200 gigs”: social media content, writing for a friend’s YouTube, writing stand-up for others, and touring with Tim Dillon.

SNL Breakthrough and Audition Story (56:42–60:10)

• Marcello moves back to NYC at Tim Dillon’s urging, grinds at open mics and hosting gigs.
• Lands a Just for Laughs showcase, is discovered by SNL scouts, and undergoes the infamous “no laughs” studio audition gauntlet:
  • “Did they laugh?” “Yeah.” “What could be scarier?” (58:15)
• Recounts multi-tiered callback process; notification comes weeks later in a call from all his agents: “They’re offering you a spot on the cast.”
  • Crying with his mom, the ultimate validation.
  • Quote:

    “My mom was freaking out. My mom started smoking cigarettes again, going back to soccer mom, freaking out.” —Marcello (57:32)

Creative Honesty and His Netflix Special (60:10–64:07)

• Dax lauds American Boy for its specificity, authenticity, and the innovative opening (Marcello’s mother introduces him on stage, “so the audience knows our relationship is loving before I talk about all the times she hit me.”)
  • Quote:

    “I was never hit hard. I was hit a lot. That’s it.” —Marcello (61:59)

  • Marcello’s drive is rooted in wanting to reward his mother’s sacrifices, “to give her good experiences after all the stress I caused.”

Children, Discipline, and “Deserving” (67:30–72:19)

• Discussion of immigrant parents’ mix of sternness, discipline, and pragmatism: you earn acts of kindness, you’re not coddled.
• Marcello reflects on merit: “If I was a star when I was a kid, I would've been treated like one… So if you’re a kid and you're not being treated like a star, there’s a reason.”
• Dax examines shifting generational parenting styles, keeping the strengths of both.

Social Commentary, Immigration, & Empathy (72:20–78:45)

• The conversation turns to cultural elitism, immigrant striving, and the nuanced meanings of “whiteness” and family closeness.
• Marcello introduces his maxim:

  “You cannot expect from a person that comes from extreme circumstances a moderate response.”

• They discuss expectations, judgment, and applying empathy in a polarized world.

Memorable Moment: Auditioning for SNL (58:08–59:35)

• The anxiety-filled waiting room, learning Devin Walker got cast before him, then going in to meet Lorne Michaels.
• “He didn’t say, ‘See you soon.’ It was just, ‘Nice to meet you.’”

Sabrina Carpenter, Celebrity Encounters & Friendship (79:10–81:25)

• Dax’s daughter’s obsession with Sabrina Carpenter leads to Marcelo revealing they’re friends (“she’s really down to clown, she’s an actress”), recounting the viral Domingo bit at her LA show and a Hollywood crossover moment.

Current Projects and Affectionate Farewell (81:32–82:32)

• Lily and Dax celebrate Marcello’s ascent and plug his stand-up special American Boy (on Netflix) and upcoming film with Kevin Hart (72 Hours).
• Reaffirmation that Marcello’s palpable hunger and joy are infectious.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• On growing up between cultures:

  “I’m good with the phone, but my immigrant parents put that mentality in my head… I have that older generation energy too.” (12:03–12:53)

• On why he waited before going on podcasts:

  “I didn’t want to be someone that went on a podcast and then there was nothing to watch.” (17:28)

• On immigrant parental pressure:

  “This is a woman you are scared to show the C. Scared to not say thank you to the waitress, to not be an exemplary young man—because she’s spooky!” (28:04)

• On quitting soccer for comedy:

  “I told my coaches… I’m bawling, it’s ugly cry. The coach goes, ‘You going to tell the guys? Because you’re a big boy.’” (30:10–31:02)

• On the “magic trick” of his special’s family introduction:

  “For me, the reason I did that is because for a long time, my grades weren’t the best, and I was never like, this exemplary child. My mom as a person is an example… And whenever something good happens to me, all I can think is, I can’t believe that she gets to see this.” (62:41–63:54)

• On empathy for extreme behavior:

  “You cannot expect from a person that comes from extreme circumstances a moderate response.” (76:12)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 03:09–07:45 – Marshalls gifts, banter, and family icebreakers
• 08:00–15:00 – Family structure, stepdad stories, generational clash
• 18:00–21:00 – Childhood split between Miami and Dominican Republic
• 21:13–26:30 – Soccer dreams, discipline, quitting the team
• 38:00–43:28 – College life “Gettys”, Model Arab League misadventures
• 46:58–54:05 – NYC hustle, pandemic adaptation, viral videos
• 56:42–60:10 – SNL tryouts, the emotional journey to the cast
• 62:41–64:07 – Honoring his mother, the “why” behind his comedy special’s structure
• 67:30–72:19 – Parenting, “deserving,” and immigrant values
• 72:20–78:45 – Culture critique, empathy, and social perspective
• 79:10–81:25 – Sabrina Carpenter, celebrity camaraderie
• 81:32–82:32 – Farewell, projects plug, mutual admiration

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Tone & Language

The conversation is warm, open, self-effacing, and often raucously funny. Dax’s self-aware, curious style matches Marcello’s candid energy and storytelling flair. Both blend vulnerability with irreverent, whip-quick riffs, frequently looping Lily into generational and cross-cultural quips.

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Most Memorable Moments

• Marcello’s emotional retelling of quitting soccer and announcing it to his team—highlighting his drive and sense of duty.
• “Magic trick” of starting his special with his mom’s introduction, immediately endearing the audience and recontextualizing stories about immigrant discipline.
• Generational game: “Say a name, say what it conjures”—highlights the differences in reference points and cultural perception (“Lily” as pond/frog vs. “feminine product”).
• SNL audition anxiety: The moment post-audition, learning some castmates had clear feedback and the ambiguous “nice to meet you” from Lorne.

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Conclusion

This episode offers a rich, heartfelt, and entertaining exploration of how family, culture, and adversity shape a comedic voice—while providing insightful glimpses into the creative hustle, the immigrant experience, and the kinetic energy that comes with breaking through. Marcello’s origin story and observations are not just inspirational, but deeply funny—a testament to the messiness, humor, and ultimate joy of becoming yourself.

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Recommended: Watch Marcello’s special American Boy on Netflix and look out for his upcoming film with Kevin Hart, 72 Hours (July 2026).

Transcript

[Dax Shepard]

Welcome, welcome. Welcome to Armchair Expert. I'm Dan Shepard and I'm joined by Lily Padman. Ding, ding. That'll come up in the fact check, Lily. And in the episode, Lily.

[Lily Padman]

That's right.

[Dax Shepard]

Today we have Boy, one of the cutest guests we've had in a very long time. He's such a charming, talented, cute, fun loving, effervescent, life affirming, smart Marcelo Hernandez. You know him from Saturday Night Live. He was in Happy Gilmore 2. He has a standup special out right now that is so fun and unique and has such a vibe called American Boy on Netflix. So check that out and really just prepare to be charmed for the next two hours.

[Lily Padman]

So fun. This is such a fun episode.

[Dax Shepard]

Please enjoy Marcelo Hernandez. This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace, the all in one website platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online. When we were building the Armchair Expert website, Rob actually used Squarespace to get it up and running, which was a smart choice because they've got everything you need in one place to create something that actually looks professional. What really stands out is their blueprint AI feature. It's like having a design assistant that helps you build a site that doesn't look like every other cookie cutter template out there. Answer a few questions about what you're trying to do and it creates something that actually fits your vision. If you're someone who offers services, whether that's coaching, consulting, creative work, whatever, Squarespace handles all the business stuff too. Payment processing, scheduling, client management. No more juggling five different platforms just to get paid for what you do. The whole thing is designed so you can focus on your actual work instead of wrestling with website typ tech, which, let's be honest, most of us would rather avoid. So head to squarespace.comdax for a free trial, and when you're ready to Launch, use code DAX to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. We are supported by Quints.

[Lily Padman]

I love Quince.

[Dax Shepard]

Who did we just run into that said they were buying Quince because of our show? It was on the red carpet, wasn't it?

[Lily Padman]

It was.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, we were getting interviewed.

[Lily Padman]

Yes, yes.

[Dax Shepard]

And I said, well, you're welcome. I don't feel the least bit bad driving anyone to Quince because the qual is outstanding.

[Lily Padman]

It really is. Their clothes are great and also their homegoods are great.

[Dax Shepard]

They're solid. That's the thing with Quint. They've figured out how to deliver premium quality without the luxury markup. We're talking Mongolian cashmere sweaters Italian leather outerwear, wool coats that are built to last multiple seasons. They cut out the middlemen and work directly with trusted factories that have real standards for craftsmanship and ethical production. So you're getting the same quality you'd expect from high end brands, just at prices that actually make sense. These aren't trendy pieces that fall apart after one season. They're classic styles you'll reach for year after year. Refresh your winter wardrobe with quince. Go to quince.comdax for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's quincy.com/dax for free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.comdax he's an option expert.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

He's an option expert. Let's.

[Dax Shepard]

Let's have a boundaries conversation.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Oh, God. Before we proceed, I prefer physical touch. Me too.

[Dax Shepard]

I'm laughing that way. Do you have a place here?

[Marcelo Hernandez]

No, I just came for this.

[Dax Shepard]

Why are you in that sweet Panamera?

[Marcelo Hernandez]

I wanted one and I never got it, so I just rented it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Great move. I definitely approve of that.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Thank you very much.

[Lily Padman]

Are you gonna buy one now?

[Dax Shepard]

Let me buy you one.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Yes, please.

[Dax Shepard]

If this goes to 15 million views, I'll buy you.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

I like that. This is a cool little room you got here.

[Dax Shepard]

Thank you. I gotta tell you something, right? You gotta be warned for something.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

I made my daughter promise she would not come before the interview. But she was in her bedroom watching you get out of the car, and she said, he's got two bags from Marshall's. When I told her yesterday we were interviewing you, she started bawling.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Oh, my God. She's so cute. So huge.

[Lily Padman]

Her hair.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Okay.

[Lily Padman]

She said we shouldn't.

[Dax Shepard]

No, she just said they couldn't call her dumb names or something. Yeah, she said, don't call. I know. I'm like, have you ever heard me talk about you?

[Lily Padman]

She said, don't talk about me. And we were like, well. And he was like, just don't call me a pig. Why would we do that?

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Like, have you ever heard me say anything?

[Marcelo Hernandez]

But this couch is not for my height. I will say.

[Dax Shepard]

What would you like to do? We have a pillow there. Do you want to.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

It's okay. I just don't want to put my feet on your.

[Dax Shepard]

No, you could definitely. You could literally throw a knife in there.

[Lily Padman]

Anything here.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Okay.

[Lily Padman]

We just want you to be so comfortable.

[Dax Shepard]

Marcela. Welcome.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

I brought you guys stuff.

[Dax Shepard]

You did?

[Marcelo Hernandez]

I brought you stuff. Do you want to do it now. Get it out of the way.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's always good to start with gifts.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

I was just on the way.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. And you swung by Marshalls.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

I was on the way and I didn't know.

[Dax Shepard]

Are you sponsored by Marshalls?

[Marcelo Hernandez]

I'm not. I'm not.

[Dax Shepard]

I'm not.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

I think we're all sponsored by money, so I got you some stuff.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, okay. Great.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

To start with you, so I got you this. I think you might like it.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

It's just Christmas. I left the tag on. Look at that. Isn't that nice?

[Dax Shepard]

Really nice.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Like your vibe. It's you. It's just you. I got you this as well. Try that. Tell me what you think of that.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Open that up. Look at that. Huh?

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. That's not for me.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

No, that's not.

[Dax Shepard]

Not because.

[Lily Padman]

Well, it looks like driving.

[Dax Shepard]

The automotive aspect is definitely for me.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Right.

[Dax Shepard]

Good job.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Toyota Supra. Toyota.

[Dax Shepard]

But the style of shirt with a collar. You don't see me in a lot of collars.

[Lily Padman]

I think you should try it.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay.

[Lily Padman]

Yeah, I think it might.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

And then I got you. This is a big finish here. Check this out.

[Dax Shepard]

A ton of random.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Look at that. Now, that is something, isn't it?

[Dax Shepard]

This.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Because who doesn't love that?

[Dax Shepard]

This is incredible for the listener.

[Lily Padman]

It's an elf. What is it, a sweatshirt? It's an elf thing.

[Dax Shepard]

It's an elf. Drake.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Because it's a good movie, isn't it? It's a good movie. And it was at Marshalls, and I grabbed it and I thought you would like.

[Dax Shepard]

I was down in New Zealand shooting a movie when it came out. And we all went to the theater and saw it, and it was the greatest moment. Like, two rows behind me, I hear this little voice go, oh, my God, I love him. I love him so much. And I turn around, and this boy was standing on his seat. He was too excited to remain seated, and he was just screaming, I love him. I love him so much.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Will Sheryl has that effect.

[Lily Padman]

He really does.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

You love him. You love him so much, and then you.

[Dax Shepard]

Here we go.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

I think I forgot about you, because I know you like to get cozy, right? I could feel that. Yeah, I could tell you like to be cozy, so I got you this. I don't want to throw things at you.

[Lily Padman]

Oh, no.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

This is a nice cardigan, right? Look at that.

[Lily Padman]

So cute.

[Dax Shepard]

Maybe you should wear that to the Globe.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

It's for Christmas. Christmas is right behind the corner. Look at this. You like that? Girl dinner.

[Dax Shepard]

Wow.

[Lily Padman]

Girl dinner.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Because for just in case. If you have one.

[Lily Padman]

In case I ever have a girl dinner, I could wear this.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

It's there, right?

[Dax Shepard]

By the way, you have no idea how many girl dinners she hosts.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

That's what I'm saying.

[Lily Padman]

I do, but girl dinner means something different.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Oh, no.

[Dax Shepard]

What's it mean? Is it sexual?

[Marcelo Hernandez]

What is girl dinner?

[Lily Padman]

Girl dinner is like, oh, I have like half an egg and then like a celery.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

That's what it is.

[Dax Shepard]

And what do you call the thing you host?

[Lily Padman]

I host girls dinner.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

A dinner party for girls.

[Lily Padman]

For girls.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Got it.

[Lily Padman]

But I'm still gonna wear this for that. Girls, I'm gonna flip the script.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

And then I got you this because it's on the way. Because I was on the way. Shit. And I go, I mean, who.

[Lily Padman]

Who's not Santa's face?

[Marcelo Hernandez]

That's what I'm thinking.

[Lily Padman]

I love these.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

You know what I mean?

[Dax Shepard]

Can I ask you how long it took you? I feel like you were in Marshall's for a good hour.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

I was in Marshalls for a while. I got myself some stuff as well. I didn't bring it up. You can't go to Marshalls. Not buy yourself some stuff.

[Lily Padman]

No, you can't.

[Dax Shepard]

What time did you wake up today?

[Marcelo Hernandez]

6:00Am oh, not normal for me.

[Lily Padman]

Okay.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Because New York Times, I guess, maybe.

[Dax Shepard]

But you went to an award show.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Yesterday's Choice Awards.

[Dax Shepard]

Kristen saw you, said you did a great bit.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Thank God.

[Dax Shepard]

Did you do Sebastian?

[Marcelo Hernandez]

I did a little bit with Sebastian. He was awesome.

[Dax Shepard]

You guys did it together.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Isn't he the most lovable guy?

[Marcelo Hernandez]

He's great. I was telling him that I think he's going to be a hilarious father in law one day.

[Lily Padman]

Because the faces Sebastian Maniscalco. For people who don't.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Yeah, Maniscalco.

[Lily Padman]

Friend of the pod.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Friend of the pod. I told him I was coming here. He's like, it'll be great. Oh, good, good. I can't wait to see him be a father in law because I think it'll be so funny for his daughter one day with the husband to be like, And I had to go to the doctor. But actually he couldn't come with me because he had to work. And camera zooms in on him being like. My daughter, you know, I want to see that. I'd like to be in that living room.

[Dax Shepard]

You're right. He could get a ton done without ever saying anything that could be repeated back. He's all face in a court of law.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

He can do so much face.

[Lily Padman]

How old is his daughter? You could be the one.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

I don't know anything about the kids, but I do know that I want to see him as a father in law. I want him to hate the son. I want. I just want to see that. Want him to hate the son. Nobody's good enough kind of energy. I like to see that. I also want to be that I'm excited to one day have a baby and be the father in law and be like. So you don't go with her to the doctor?

[Lily Padman]

Okay.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

You know that guy?

[Lily Padman]

Mostly it's about not going to the doctor. You really expect people to go to the doctor with your doctor?

[Marcelo Hernandez]

I mean, you know what I mean?

[Dax Shepard]

You got to be there.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

And by the way, if she's bringing it up at dinner, she's saying he couldn't go cause he had to go to work. That's a sign. She wanted him to go.

[Lily Padman]

She wanted him. She asked.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

She wanted him to be there.

[Dax Shepard]

She needed him.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

And let me tell you, it's a sign. It's a microcosm of a larger issue. Not gonna get into it. I love him. I can't stop doing it.

[Dax Shepard]

I was thinking this a lot when I was watching your standup last night. I had this moment. I'm not trying to call you out. I was just like. What's interesting is I learned in a Malcolm Gladwell book that there are no first generation kids who have accents. It's the power of peer group. You have one a little bit.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Sure.

[Dax Shepard]

And Maniscalco has one. And I love it. It's a Persona.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Ish. Sure. When I'm with you today, you're going to hear pretty good English out of me. It's going to be solid because I'm hearing you. And I can do you. I can speak perfect English with you here now. Now, you leave me alone in Miami for an hour, it's going to get a little bit spicy. I'm going to forget to say a normal. It's going to happen. It does happen to me. And you know what I've learned too recently is that I can write faster in Spanish. In Spanish. I can go off on an idea a lot faster than I can in English.

[Lily Padman]

Yeah.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

For some reason, I've been writing lately. I'll sit down with my assistant, my associate, Mari. She's the best. And I'll just be like, bring up a topic and I'm just gonna scream at you in Spanish. I've written a few jokes that way and I think it might be my process.

[Lily Padman]

Wow.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

I think I might have found my Process.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, I was hoping we would discover what your process was at some point and we got right out of. Now, I want you to know if you somehow jo my family, you're going to fit in beautifully. Cuz you're born on the 19th. My little sister's the 20th. My mom's the 25th.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Of August.

[Dax Shepard]

Wow. Yeah. Of August.

[Lily Padman]

And.

[Dax Shepard]

And then our best friend, 24.

[Lily Padman]

Yes, me.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

So we're all Leos, Is that it?

[Lily Padman]

No, I'm a Virgo. I switch right in the middle there.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

She calls herself a double Virgo.

[Lily Padman]

I am a double. I don't call it. I am.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

You are a double Virgo. Whatever it says about Virgo to you, it's double. No times two. Virgos are going to have a bad day. You're going to have a horrible day.

[Lily Padman]

That's kind of right.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Okay.

[Lily Padman]

Another thing we've uncovered here today.

[Dax Shepard]

2X bad day.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

I'm a generational cusp.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

You know, 97 Gen Z. But also I'm millennial. I feel in the middle in a lot of ways in my life.

[Dax Shepard]

Which ways?

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Let's get into it. Right. Podcast.

[Lily Padman]

We want you to cry about it.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

I feel in the middle because I know I'm Gen Z and I'm good on the phone. I'm good with the phone. I'm good with the Internet.

[Lily Padman]

Okay.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

WI Fi. I'll reset the router. Let me reset the router. Let me reboot the whole thing. Don't even touch it. I'm going to do it. Listen, I'll get into it with tech support. I'll do the chat. People go, I'm going to call. I go, don't call. Talk to the robot. They know what to do. They know how to get to the thing. I do all that stuff. But at the same time, because I have like immigrant parents and stuff and they put this in your head. I'm also on the millennial. I had that feeling of not getting too emotionally crazy. I think we can be dramatic. Gen Zs and my immigrant thing made me older generation energy as well. And I do this. I'm grabbing.

[Lily Padman]

That's what millennials.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

That's how I talk. I grab. I go. I'm also that.

[Dax Shepard]

And I see this beautiful visual guy incorporated. Yeah. I do wonder if you're raised on the Internet dramas, the currents 100. How could it not affect your overall?

[Lily Padman]

That's true.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

It's got to be really bad.

[Dax Shepard]

Let's start with mom and dad.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Yeah. And stepdad. I have a trio. I have two dads. And a mom.

[Lily Padman]

That's nice that you said that. That means he's meaningful.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

He is. He's a meaningful guy.

[Dax Shepard]

Absolutely.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

He's a badass.

[Dax Shepard]

You got lucky.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

I got lucky with a good stepdad. I think it's also a difficult position to be in.

[Dax Shepard]

It is impossible. I dated a gal with a kid. I found it to be impossible. It was hard because I cared about the kid, and now I want the kid to turn out good, but the kid doesn't want me to be his dad. He's got a dad.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

It's difficult. But my stepdad, he's a guy that didn't go to college, was in the Air Force, worked sales jobs, was like selling fire alarms or house alarms, and then made his way into the television advertising business and then became like, a badass.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, really?

[Marcelo Hernandez]

And is like, just kills it.

[Dax Shepard]

Where's he from? What's his story?

[Marcelo Hernandez]

He has a crazy story. He's from Cuba. He left when he was very little, but he left without his father because his father was in jail, a political prisoner, for 14 years or 10 years? 11 years. But he didn't meet his dad until he was 14 in Miami when his dad made it out and came here. And so he had such a difficult coming up. And my mom had a really difficult coming up because she left Cuba when she was little.

[Dax Shepard]

How old was she?

[Marcelo Hernandez]

I'm pretty sure she was 12 when she left Cuba. And then she was in Spain from 12 till 15, 16. Then she went to the Dominican Republic really quick.

[Dax Shepard]

How did she get to Spain?

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Her dad was Spanish, so he took everybody. He got lucky that we had a Spanish grandfather, got him out, and then she just had to work always. She never got to have that childhood. She never got to be like a little girl.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Because it was always kind of stressful.

[Lily Padman]

Yeah.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

And then I see that with my sister. I call my sister the vice president because my mom is the president, and then this is the vice president. The little girl gets to do whatever she wants. And she gets all the fun stuff, random gifts, oh, I want that you can have it type of thing. Yeah, yeah. And it's because my mom, I think.

[Dax Shepard]

Is living vicariously, giving her the child that she didn't get.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

I think so.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Yeah. And then you were paying the price for all the men that were terrible.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

A little bit.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, so wait, wait. Biological dad, how did they meet? Did they meet in Spain?

[Marcelo Hernandez]

I think they met in Miami.

[Dax Shepard]

But he is Dominican.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

He's from the Dominican Republic. So they had a lot of mutual friends. I Think because she came here from the doctor.

[Dax Shepard]

Thank you for that abbreviation.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

You could say doctor.

[Dax Shepard]

Doctor. Boom.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Going for Danny Ricardo.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Danny Ricardo.

[Lily Padman]

And Dax Randall.

[Dax Shepard]

And Dax Randall.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Oh, that's your middle name. Randall. What do you think of when you hear the name Randall? Let's say it at the same time. 3, 2, 1. Monsters, Inc. What did you say? Monsters, inc.

[Lily Padman]

I said McDonald's.

[Dax Shepard]

I said white.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

We said white.

[Dax Shepard]

I don't think there's a single non white person named Randall.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

This is a really generational thing here. We just happened.

[Dax Shepard]

Let's do more of those.

[Lily Padman]

Yeah.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

I said Monsters, Inc. Because Randall is the villain.

[Dax Shepard]

This could be like a weird, fun game where you just say a name and then everyone's got to say what that conjures up immediately.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Yeah. I'll produce the show. I'll produce this show.

[Lily Padman]

Thank you.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

If you want, I'll produce the show.

[Dax Shepard]

Lily.

[Lily Padman]

My middle name.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Lily's your middle name.

[Lily Padman]

Oh, and you want to do the game again?

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Let's do the game.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, hold on. Can we take one second to think?

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Yeah.

[Lily Padman]

No, the whole point is fast.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Yeah. Lily, ready? Ready. Two, one.

[Dax Shepard]

Product.

[Lily Padman]

We're close.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

We're close.

[Lily Padman]

I said pond, and he said.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

I said frog. I thought of a lily pad. And what did you say?

[Dax Shepard]

Feminine product.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Yeah. You're always in a different place.

[Dax Shepard]

I'm 100 years older than both of you.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Always in a really different place.

[Lily Padman]

Feminine product.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Feminine product.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, because lilac Lily, like fresh scent. They're always trying to tell you how great that product smells.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

Don't you think? And it's always floral.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Oh, my.

[Lily Padman]

That's. Wow.

[Dax Shepard]

You don't think they do floral a lot?

[Lily Padman]

Well, nowadays, they try to do neutral scents.

[Dax Shepard]

Nowadays.

[Lily Padman]

Nowadays.

[Dax Shepard]

But in the 1900s, when I was born.

[Lily Padman]

Yes, exactly.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

How old are you?

[Dax Shepard]

Doug Shepard, 51, as of two days ago.

[Lily Padman]

He just turned.

[Dax Shepard]

Wow.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

So you won.

[Dax Shepard]

And then growing up, I'm watching, like, the Summer's Eve commercials, and I'm watching all the different tampon commercials, and it's always fields of lilacs and lies.

[Lily Padman]

Well, there's fields of lilies.

[Dax Shepard]

They're maritime. They're more nautical. Yeah, yeah, okay.

[Lily Padman]

But you said lily pad. But my last name's Padman, so it is Lily pad. They really me on that.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

They did that.

[Dax Shepard]

Look at this look on his face. This is a Europe dad look.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

This is my dad look.

[Dax Shepard]

Interesting.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

It's very interesting, I promise you. I think this might be my first podcast since I was, like, 20 years old or something. Like, since before anything good happened. Really?

[Dax Shepard]

And you've intentionally turned them down?

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Tell me why.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Because I wanted to wait until they had something to watch. Watch of mine that I made.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Yeah, yeah. You know, there was a lot of podcasts that I always listened to. I'm a big listener of podcasts. I just always felt like whenever I heard someone I really liked, I wanted to go watch their stuff. And so I didn't want to be someone that went on a podcast, and then there was nothing to watch.

[Dax Shepard]

Great. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Now there's something to watch.

[Lily Padman]

That's really thoughtful, that's really thinking things through.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

It also is like pushing down, like. What do you call it? You avoid. I'm avoiding.

[Lily Padman]

You're avoiding.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

This is pressure, you know, the camera, other people.

[Dax Shepard]

Is it?

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Yeah, of course.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

I wanted to do good. I want to be good.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Yeah, me too.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

I wanted to do. I wanted to. I want to be doing good.

[Dax Shepard]

I want to be doing great.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

I want everybody to go. This was very good. He was good. It was perhaps amazing what he did on there.

[Lily Padman]

It's already great.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

I want people now running on a treadmill listening to this.

[Lily Padman]

Oh, that's right. We're in their car.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Spotify.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. Back to your stepdad.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Yes, back to the stepdad.

[Dax Shepard]

What age were you when he entered the picture?

[Marcelo Hernandez]

I think I was like 4 or 5. So he's always been around.

[Dax Shepard]

Did you see your dad on the weekends?

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Yeah, I hung out with my dad a lot. He would always take me to Dominican Republic, me and my sister, and we would go all the time. When I was little, I would go three or four times a year. I built a great relationship with the Dominican Republic. I have friends there. I went to a lot of summer camps. I played soccer there. I trained with the Dominican Republic U15 national team. That was good. When I was younger, I felt like, patriotic with the Dominican Republic. When I was younger, I was always very proud of it. Those Dominican kids, they are fast, and they grow up fast. They have. We call it tiguel. I don't know how to say it. It technically means, like, of a tiger, like the acts of a tiger. I have a lot of jokes about it, about how, you know, you take, like, an American kid and a Dominican kid, and they are different. The American kid is the age that he is. Perhaps a few less.

[Lily Padman]

Yeah.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

And the Dominican kid, he might be 12, but he's 40. It's a different energy.

[Dax Shepard]

These kids, interesting.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

They're fast. They learn to. They have. You know, I wonder why.

[Lily Padman]

Do you have any theories?

[Marcelo Hernandez]

I Think it's being in a third world country. I think it makes you grow up a little faster. I think you see a little more, you're less coddled. And I think English is also a more casual language. You can be a little more casual. Spanish is a little bit more elegant. Not sophisticated, but more formal. So to hear like a little kid saying something in Spanish, it feels and it's like eloquent. Yeah. A little kid being like, I'm hungry for some reason doesn't have the same energy as a little kid being like, it sounds romantic. You know what I mean?

[Lily Padman]

Day one.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And in English you say, I have a tummy. Ach. Or my stomach hurts. We don't have tummy. So the little kid will be like, I have a pain in my stomach.

[Lily Padman]

Right.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

And he's a child. And that to me is funny.

[Dax Shepard]

I'm suffering abdominally.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Exactly, exactly, exactly. I have a little Dominican cousin and he's hilarious and he sends me voice notes on WhatsApp. He thinks it's funny that I speak English. He came from the doctor. For him, speaking English to him is like a fun thing to do. So listen to him. He'll send me a voice note like this, this. Good morning, my melo. Can you call me when you can, please?

[Dax Shepard]

When you, you have a free time?

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Like, that's a nine year old child.

[Dax Shepard]

You need a doc. I mean, what is he, your nephew?

[Marcelo Hernandez]

He's my, like my nephew, my uncle's kid. But he's so young that it's like, he's not my cousin. He's tiny. He's my nephew. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

So he's kind of.

[Lily Padman]

Oh my God.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

He's making fun of me.

[Lily Padman]

He's making fun of me. Good morning.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

And you call me when you can, please.

[Lily Padman]

When you, you have a free time.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

When you have a free time.

[Lily Padman]

I love him. Yeah.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

You're not getting a voice Note from a 9 year old American kid.

[Lily Padman]

No, you're not.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

I should take him to like Steve Harvey. You know that show Steve Harvey.

[Dax Shepard]

Kids say the darndest things.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

He says the darndest things.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, yeah.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

This kid says the darndest. The darndest things.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, back to Miami.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

So this is interesting. You found yourself in two different Jesuit schools. One all boys prep school. Right. And then you went to Jesuit college. So how.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Me, I wasn't like, I had this passion to go be a Jesuit all the time. I played soccer in high school. I went through a lot with the soccer thing. Like, I wanted to be a Professional soccer player my whole life. And I definitely had, I would say, some discipline issues. Discipline in school, discipline with training. I have add, and I wish I would have worked harder. Looking back, I wish I would have hung out less at parties or whatever and done more work. But now, obviously, things have worked.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, that's not a regret.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

I had this interesting relationship because I wanted to be so good, and there were times when I wasn't that. And I always felt that pressure. And I had a problem because I behaved bad in school. And then I would make the soccer team. And I told my coach, I go, I want to be number seven or number nine or number ten, like, these great numbers. And my coach to teach me a lesson, because he goes, the teachers are telling me, you're not behaving well in class, so you're going to wear 50. So I wore number 50 because my coach was trying to teach me, like, to be humble and to relax. And the following couple years, I had a change of mentality. And then my senior year, I would wake up before school and work out and then go school. I was eating a certain amount of food. I was taking everything so serious. I went from my junior year having four or five goals on the season, to 20 goals my senior year. I was all Dade, all Region, all State. I finally made it. I was the captain of the team. I was sending my video to colleges, and I wanted to play in college, and I wanted to play Division 1. I wanted to be this Division 1 athlete. I'm emailing all these schools. I'm one of the youngest people in my grade because my mom skipped me a grade when I was really little, which is not good for sports. But it makes the mom feel good that the kids.

[Lily Padman]

Well, yeah, it's like this kid. Brilliant. I also started kindergarten at 4.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

They do that.

[Lily Padman]

I like it.

[Dax Shepard]

Also immigrant parents.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

But if you want your kids. Exactly. I just want to get them out of. Yeah, hurry up and finish so you can get to work.

[Lily Padman]

That's right.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

A couple of Division 1 schools I talked to, they looked at me as kind of, wait a year.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Wait a year, and then we'll take another look. And I'm sure that after a year, I could have maybe gone Division 1, but at the position where I was, the real interest was from a few Division 3 schools. It came down to Occidental here in California, where Obama went, oh, my God.

[Dax Shepard]

Barack Hussein.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Yeah, Hussein Obama. Him.

[Dax Shepard]

Holy. All right, Hussein on three. One, two, three. Iraq.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Sadam.

[Lily Padman]

I didn't want to do that one.

[Dax Shepard]

Saddam, Saddam.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Saddam. But it was that school. And then it was this Jesuit school in Ohio where the nice Coach Marinaro, Coach Modanovic, they liked my video and they wanted me to go. They helped me get a scholarship, and there was this really rewarding feeling to have coaches want me to play there, give me a scholarship, and I didn't want to wait. Also, around this time, my mom and my stepdad were getting divorced, and they're back together now. It's a real love story. I love that.

[Dax Shepard]

We love these.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

They got divorced, and they got back together, and so I was feeling like I got to get away a little bit. I didn't want to wait a year in Miami. I was like, I want to go out of state. I always wanted to go somewhere else. So I just went to this Jesuit.

[Dax Shepard]

School in Ohio, which is great fodder for your stand up.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

And it ended up being the whole thing.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

When I was there, it was literally soccer for the first year, like crazy. And then the second year, after my first offseason, I tried stand up, and I was like, oh, no, I love it. Oh, oh, no, I love it. I'm gonna leave my wife and do and be stand up, because soccer was my wife. So I'm like, oh, no, I met someone.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, your mistress was comedy.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

And my heart beating so fast. I don't get this feeling with soccer anymore. I'm exhausted. I don't want to go to practice, my lymph nodes. And then for standup, I'm like, wow. I started to feel like, this is the thing. I took my roommate, I put him in an Uber to the standup club in an amateur night, and I did pretty bad. And then I was like, ooh, I gotta go somewhere else. And I looked up on Facebook, an open mic. I went to another open mic. I did even worse. And then I was like, okay, I'm addicted. I have to be better at this.

[Lily Padman]

Wow.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

And so I started writing in notepads all day long in class. I'm writing jokes. I'm trying to figure it out. And then I was just, like, addicted to standup. And I. I started doing it all the time. Then in the summer, I did a bunch of yoga and soccer and standup. That's all I did.

[Dax Shepard]

What a summer.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

My freshman summer in Miami. And then I went back to Ohio, and I was in better shape, and I was better at standup. It got this weird point where I'm playing a lot more on the team. My second season in the Preseason, but I'm getting much better at standup. And then I win this amateur competition, and they're like, we're gonna pay you 500 bucks to host for the weekend.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, baby.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

You know, and then now it's this weird thing, and I don't know what to do. One day. Day, I did a real Troy Bolton. I went to a. I went to a practice to run the mile under six minutes. I did it with my friend Alpha Freeman. He's from Sierra Leone. He was a gazelle. He could have ran that thing in four and a half. But I go, papi, you got to stay with me because I need you to focus me. And he did. He ran with me and he got me through. I did it under six minutes. And then I swear to God, I told the coach, I go, I have to go to rehearsal for a theater play that I'm in. And he was like, okay. It was one of these off season practices, so it wasn't that big of a deal, but he was like, okay, so the kid's doing theater on his off time. I didn't know what to do because the standup was so fresh and so new, and I loved her. But soccer had been there my whole life, and it gave me everything.

[Dax Shepard]

Brought you to the dance.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Brought me to the dance.

[Lily Padman]

I feel so sad for soccer.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

It was sad. My mom and my stepdad were very supportive about it. My dad didn't want me to do it. My dad had gone to a few tournaments and seen me play really well, and I think he had that always in his mind, like, you're really good. I've seen you excel. I don't think you should drop this for something that you're not so good at yet. But my mom and my stepdad were like, if you want to do this, we're in.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, go for it. Also, I think it's hard for a parent maybe sometimes when it's like that couldn't be further from your father's dream, but I'm sure never meaning your father, I bet he would have loved to been a professional soccer player. Any. Any dude would love to be a professional athlete of any kind.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

He was living it up. And he had also gone with me in Dominican Republic. I came home one day when I was like, 14, and I was like, dad, they're gonna let me train with the national team of his country at his old high school. Oh. So it was like this beautiful thing for him, I think, and you he with it at all. But my mom and my stepdad were with It. It was very nice.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, back to Miami, because I don't want to get into Ohio a lot.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

I know, I know. We have to.

[Dax Shepard]

What's the cultural differences between Dr. And Cuban like? Difference between your mother's culture, say, in your father's political stability.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Dominican Republic has a past that was dark with Batista. And they've had their dark times. Cuba just is more consistently dark. They still haven't gone to a democracy. It's still a different thing over there. And so he has a more relaxed energy, my dad. And my mom is more rigid. And now she's cool because her daughter is doing well and her son's doing well. But when I was younger, you could tell that my mom was very.

[Lily Padman]

She wanted safety for you.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

You know, you need to be doing well. And this is a woman that you are scared to show the seed. That's the energy of this woman.

[Lily Padman]

Yeah.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

You're scared to show the sea. You're scared to not say thank you to the waitress. You're scared to not be an exemplary young man because she's spooky and you don't know what she's gonna do.

[Lily Padman]

She has powers.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Yes. She talks through her teeth like this. You know what I mean? And she's beautiful. You see my mom?

[Dax Shepard]

I did.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Of course. She's gorgeous.

[Dax Shepard]

First thing I wrote in my notes of your standup was, your mom's kind of a babe.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

She's beautiful.

[Dax Shepard]

That's literally my first note I wrote.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Down, she's beautiful and she doesn't age well.

[Lily Padman]

That's because she's spooky. So when they decided to get on board with your standup, that's a big deal for someone who wants you to get straight A's, that's a big release of expectation.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

I think she was giving me a little bit of line because I was in college and I was studying and I did it.

[Dax Shepard]

You both got lucky in that way. Yes. She is the only Indian parents that didn't tell her to become an engineer or a doctor.

[Lily Padman]

Well, they wanted me to. In their head, or they just really just wanted me to have some safety. And I was like, I'm going to go be an actor now. And they're like, oh, no. Then they were not supportive at first. They were like, don't do that. But then they had to get on board.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

What do you mean? That's nice. Then they get on board. Yeah, but I was crying, too. I was with my mom. I was like, I don't think I'm going to be a soccer player. Anymore. My mom was like, relax. Yeah, it's okay. I think my mom also was like, you're not that good. You know, she's realistic. This woman's realistic, right?

[Lily Padman]

Practical.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Practical woman. The moment I think that was the fire in my butt to do this as hard as I can was I went to my coaches. My mom was like, you have to tell them. And so I went to my coaches, the guys that had recruited me, that had made my dream come true, that had got the scholarship and everything. And it's D3, so if you quit the team, you keep the scholarship because it's an academic scholarship. So I had to go to them, Manto, man, and tell them, like, hey, hey, I'm leaving the team. I want to do standup.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. You get basically saying, you bet on.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Me and I'm balling. It's ugly. Cry.

[Dax Shepard]

It's. That helps, though. That helps.

[Lily Padman]

Huge sympathy.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

And there was a combination with them of like, all right. And also, Jesus, dude, just stop crying. Yeah, right. Like, okay, this is a lot. And then the big moment is the coach looks at me and he goes, you're going to tell the guys? Oh, I'm not going to tell the guys. You're a big boy. Oh, you're making a big decision. We have practice in an hour. Go tell the boys. I literally blacked out. I don't remember what I said. I just remember going into the locker room, all the guys are ready for practice. I can tell coach is not happy cuz I was like a new guy that he was starting to play. I think I had a little bit of promise. And he's like, hey, fellas, Marcelo has something he wants to say to you guys.

[Dax Shepard]

Guys.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

And I'm.

[Lily Padman]

Oh, wow.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

You know, I'm like, cleaning it up. You love it.

[Dax Shepard]

Monica loves crying, by the way.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

My boy cry. I can cry at any time, honestly.

[Lily Padman]

Oh, wow.

[Dax Shepard]

Whenever you need me to.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Whenever you want. I can get it at any time. If I say a story, a certain thing, I'll just start crying. I'll describe something and I'll be like, it's amazing. But I don't cry often. I never cry. That's why I can.

[Lily Padman]

Oh, that's counterintuitive.

[Dax Shepard]

I never cry. I cry all the time.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

I never cry. That's. That's why I can't. If you never cry, you always have one in the chamber. I don't remember what I said. I just remember looking. Looking at them, telling them the stuff. Everybody's looking at me kind of confused. There's like one or two guys that I had kind of told that were like, you know, we knew this was coming. And then it's like them going to practice and saying goodbye.

[Lily Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

And are you having second thoughts at that moment? It's like when you break up with a gal in the next three days, you're like, well, I fucked up. I'm completely in love with her. I'm pretty certain you just do that, right?

[Marcelo Hernandez]

That's tough. Because when you do that, that's love, right? You leave love. And then you go, what do I do now? But with something like your career or your passion, because it was so difficult, all of those second thoughts I had, I was able to kill them by just working so hard on the standup. Every time I would be like, damn, the team is winning. I wish I was there. They're at this game, they're at this game. I wish I was there. They're going to the national tournament. I wish I could go with them. I would just work super hard, do five shows, do six shows. And that's why I took any job I could in Ohio. I was doing every little room. Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert if you dare.

[Dax Shepard]

We are supported by Allstate. Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. That's smart. Not checking which platform you watch that new show on. So frustrating. 15 minutes later, you've logged into seven apps, reset two passwords and still haven't found it. Yeah, checking first is smart. So check all state first for a quote. That could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with all state. Potential savings vary, subject to terms, conditions and availability. Allstate North American insurance company affiliates Northbrook, Illinois. We are supported by Intuit TurboTax. You know that feeling when you drop your taxes off with someone and then nothing? You're just sitting there wondering if they've even started if there's a problem. If you're getting everything you're owed, it's like sending your car to the shop and never getting an update. That's what I appreciate about TurboTax. With TurboTax Expert full service, they've completely transformed that experience. You get matched with a dedicated tax expert who actually does your taxes for you. And here's the part that changes everything. You can get real time updates on your expert's progress from start to finish. You can literally see when they're working on your return. No more guessing, no more waiting by the phone. And if you have questions, you get unlimited help from your expert at no extra cost. Even nights and weekends. During tax season, they're focused on getting you the best possible outcome in every dollar you design deserve.

[Lily Padman]

My dad loves TurboTax and he's a meticulous man. He doesn't cut corners.

[Dax Shepard]

If you're not going to trust me, trust Ashoka.

[Lily Padman]

That's right.

[Dax Shepard]

Visit TurboTax.com to get matched with a TurboTax full service expert today. That's TurboTax.com only available with TurboTax full service experts. Real time updates only on iOS mobile app. We are supported by ServiceNow. You know what I love? Not having to do boring, repetitive stuff. I want to focus on the interesting conversations, the creative work, the things that really matter to me. And apparently that's exactly what ServiceNow does for entire organizations. AI is only as powerful as the platform it's built into. Here's the thing. ServiceNow has basically become the operating system of AI. Instead of Frankensteining together different tools, ServiceNow unifies people, data, workflows and AI connecting every corner of your business. That's why it's no surprise that more than 85% of the Fortune 500 use the ServiceNow AI platform. Platform. We're talking HR, customer service, every department you can think of. And here's what's cool. They got Idris Elba as their brand ambassador. I mean, come on, if you're gonna have someone represent your company, might as well be the guy who's basically the CEO everyone wants to be, right? With AI agents working together autonomously, anyone in any department can focus on the work that matters Most. Learn how ServiceNow puts AI to work for [e-mail] com. There can't be a ton of options in Cleveland.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Surprised?

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

There was these guys, Bill Squire and Ramon Rivas, who were doing a bunch of local shows and Ramon knew people from New York and that was his advice to me, was go to New York every once in a while, meet people. This guy, Jim Tus, I don't know where Jim Twos is. I haven't heard from him in a while. But he was a funny guy out of Cleveland that moved to New York. And so there was this energy of like, okay, that's where the stuff is, that's where the standup is. And then this guy, Sean Patton. You know Sean Patton, uh, he was on the English teacher. He's the gym teacher.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, love him.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

He's very funny.

[Dax Shepard]

Love him. Love that show.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

So he gave me the big piece of advice of come to New York every season. Come once in the winter, come once in the summer, come once in the spring. Come once in the fall and make connections. And then when you move here after you graduate college, you'll have a network.

[Dax Shepard]

What a genius. Bit of advice.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

So I did that. I would get on a bus or on a train and I would go to New York.

[Dax Shepard]

I get on a bicycle, I get on a skateboard, I get on a rollerblade. I don't give a fuck.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Get to the airport. This guy's, you know, this guy's on a motorcycle.

[Dax Shepard]

Guy wrote a surfboard.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Where's the suitcase? You traveling with the helmet? So you put the clothes. He put the boxers in the helmet. I love Sebastian, dude. I can't stop. But that's kind of what happened. And then that's what gets me to snl. It's like I'm in New York a.

[Dax Shepard]

Lot and I want to be in New York. One last question about Miami and the Jesuits. So it's all boys school, all boys. What are you doing about girls?

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Girls? Oh, man. I mean, listen.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Let me tell you something, my friend. Let me explain something to you. When you are with boys all week, every single day, right? You're gonna find the way to get to the. At some point.

[Lily Padman]

Okay? Out of necessity.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

I argue that we maybe, you know, especially on weekends. That's why we went out, I think so much is because we never saw girls at school. So we would go out a lot. We'd go to parties. Gettys. To get together. In Miami, we call them Gettys.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, I like that.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

I don't know if that's still a thing.

[Dax Shepard]

Why don't you start a clothing line called Gettys? Gettys.

[Lily Padman]

I like that.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, it's really fun. It's like life affirming and positive.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Getty, get together with your friends. What do they call them here parties? Kickback. Kickback equivalent. The kickback.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, I don't know that neither.

[Lily Padman]

This is Gen Z. I've heard of a kickback.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Somebody told me that the Getty is the kickback. Here they call it the kickback. I guess we don't call it anything anymore. But you get to an age where you just. Let's meet at a place.

[Lily Padman]

You get to an age where you stay home.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Right?

[Dax Shepard]

That's one of my favorite parts of your standup American Boy is you're talking about the vibe in Miami, where you left before you went to Ohio was the goal is roughly four guys and six to 700 girls. When you're planning a party, it's just like, where are we getting more and more. We need more. What do you mean? There's 50 girls coming? There's four of us.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

That's true.

[Dax Shepard]

And then you got to Ohio and what was the vibe there?

[Marcelo Hernandez]

It's boys night. Boys night.

[Dax Shepard]

Boys night.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Boys night. Boys night, Boys night.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, wow.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Boys night. Boys night, boys night. Let's drink beer and watch football. I go, we're getting fat. And there's no girls. It doesn't make sense.

[Dax Shepard]

The boys there are like, how many beers do we have? It's not the girls. Like, dude, six cases.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

What?

[Dax Shepard]

When there's four of us, literally, it's just a flip. And then, see, that's where I'm from, Michigan guys are like, let's go to the field. And we need three kegs.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

I go, there's no girls in the field.

[Lily Padman]

Oh, yeah, they're not going to the field.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

No. You're not going to get girls to go to the field. And then in the house, you want the house to be welcoming to the girls?

[Lily Padman]

Sure.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

You want it to look nice. Like my boys when we were playing something, put the drinks together.

[Dax Shepard]

You know, the cups need to look nice, candles.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

You know what I mean? Maybe. Who want to. You want it to feel nice. And if you know that the girls drink this, you want to make sure that that's there. You know what I mean? In Ohio, they go, we're gonna do what we're gonna do. And if you guys wanna be here, you can be here. You know what I mean? It's not the same. And by the way, they're sweating, right? They're jumping.

[Dax Shepard]

Of course.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

They're wearing a jersey with a hoodie under it.

[Lily Padman]

Yeah.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Does that make you think that's cute? I am at that age. And when I'm in my Miami, I'm wearing this. Yeah, I've been wearing this since I was 12. These guys, they don't do that. They wear hoodie and they wear sweats. A house party in Miami, you dress not. If I had a dollar for every jersey over a hoodie that I saw, I'd be a millionaire. A bazillion. It's everybody. Girls like it, though, because girls are falling in love.

[Lily Padman]

It's what you're used to.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

But I was very much confused.

[Lily Padman]

Did you wear the jersey over.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Were you trying to adapt? Of course. Figure it out. I didn' want to look very different. And then I met the Latin people. There's like 12 of us in Ohio. And we would hang out. Sometimes we go out, we go to D.C. i joined Model UN I had an identity crisis. I Quit soccer. I went into theater, comedy, and Model UN I became a different guy. I'm representing Lebanon at the Model Arab League. I joined the Model Arab League. Did you know who that is? The Model Arab League. It's like Model UN but for the Arab League. So it's like, you guys, Model un That's interesting. Try it in the most difficult place. So we're doing. Doing that. I'm representing Lebanon and Kuwait, and you.

[Lily Padman]

Guys are, like, finding peace.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

We're having meetings. I was at Environmental affairs, which is where they put the funny people. You know, the other stuff. It's too difficult. You have to know a lot. But for Environmental affairs, it's very much off the cuff. Yeah, I won. I won. I won. Outstanding delegate. The delegates from Kuwait, we won because Kuwait has money. So we would be like, we're going to fund this project. It's all about networking. I would want my kid to do it, honestly, because you have to meet the lady from Egypt. So I don't smoke cigarettes. Cigarettes, right. I go to the Model Arab League. There's people that came from Egypt to do it. There's people in the schools, obviously. There's a lot of people that are from these countries that want to do this, and they smoke cigarettes. It's a thing, cigarettes.

[Dax Shepard]

Right.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

And so you're five hours in a room, and then they give you a break for 30, 40 minutes. And in that break, it's cigarette time. Everybody goes outside, smoke.

[Dax Shepard]

So I'm smoking cigar, banging darts.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

I'm banging darts with Egypt. I'm with Egypt. I'm telling her. I go, listen, when we get back in there, I'm trying to do this big environmental project, okay? And we have a lot of nuclear energy. There's a couple of things that we want to do. And so we're literally this, like, crazy stuff. And I thought it was so fun.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, you're kind of playing a character. You're almost.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Yes, yes. How else does a kid like me, that is a comedian in Cleveland, Ohio, get to flirt with a girl from Egypt? Yeah, it's Model Arab League. She came from Egypt.

[Dax Shepard]

Was she beautiful?

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Oh, my God. Gorgeous.

[Lily Padman]

Sure.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

And the men, too. It's a permanent.

[Lily Padman]

And they're wearing good clothes. Nice clothes. They're no jerseys.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Oh, my God. At the Model Arab League. It's unbelievable. And the smell, the cologne. I felt. I felt amazing in there. And you're having fun. I'm telling, you know, Sudan. I go, Sudan. Stick with us. We'll help. How can we help with the environmental issues? And we Won. And it's just me and a Guatemalan guy and he's from my school and we're representing Kuwait.

[Lily Padman]

I thought you were representing Lebanon.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

We did both years in a row. My mentality was, I'll go to D.C. and then I can do stand up there. So I did shows when I was there. So I was really just going crazy.

[Dax Shepard]

How did you handle bombing? Could you let that roll off your back?

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Yeah, I'm good. Soccer is failure.

[Lily Padman]

I thought you meant, like, incorrect. Kuwait.

[Dax Shepard]

Like, what was the bombing strategy?

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Oh, my goodness.

[Dax Shepard]

What was the bombing strategy? After you guys built that nuclear reactor, were you going to carpet bomb any places?

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Dude, when we got them to accept nuclear, it was crazy. There's so many. No, we can't do that. Like, guys, we're going to do the nuclear. I already talked to Egypt. Egypt loves me.

[Dax Shepard]

Also going out to dinner with Egypt.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Talked to Saudi Arabia. There's a girl from Saudi Arabia, me and my delegate partner, we start talking to her. When you have Saudi and Qatar supporting your nuclear plan, it's going to be hard to say no. So we passed it. There's a judge lady. And you're passing resolutions. Oh, my God, girl, did I pass resolutions that day? I was passing resolutions left and right. I couldn't stop.

[Dax Shepard]

Line up the resolutions.

[Lily Padman]

Bombing in Stand up.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Stand up is very clear when you're bombing. When I made that switch to comedy and I was really in waters, I didn't know. I went to zero. Like in soccer, I was like a guy that knows. And then in comedy, I went all the way down to like, truly the lowest you can be. Yeah. And I held on to that.

[Lily Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

And I still have it as we get into snl. How big of a fan of SNL were you as a kid? Were you watching it? A ton.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

In my house. My parents loved politics. My mom was kind of into watching it because of that. I think the show for a lot of people, they love to see that cold open. They love to see what they're going to do with the candidates and stuff. Yeah. And my mom was also very into it because she was kind of new at I have a vote and it matters and you have to vote.

[Dax Shepard]

Being informed.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Like civic responsibility.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

So she liked it. But me and my sister, we would watch Disney Channel and Nickelodeon and on Saturdays because I'm at an all boys school. You go out Gettys. Yeah, Gettys.

[Dax Shepard]

I was at Gettys Getty Time.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

So it wasn't really a lot at home to watch my stepdad I would watch, like, Boardwalk Empire with him.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, I just started that.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

He was watching that type of stuff, like war stuff. And then my mom, she watches. I don't even know. They watch the Housewives and she watches all the series by herself in her room on the computer.

[Lily Padman]

Oh, my. Are they always just in the computer?

[Marcelo Hernandez]

In the bed. In the bed with the computer?

[Lily Padman]

Yes. Why?

[Marcelo Hernandez]

The computer's hot as hell on the bed.

[Dax Shepard]

Burning her thighs.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Burning the thighs. We would watch George Lopez, all of us together. That was like our show as a family, but that was like a weekday thing. After we're done with everything, we'll watch the two episodes back to back, and then you go to bed.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, his sitcom. Not his.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

The sitcom Interview. The sitcom.

[Lily Padman]

I think it's probably good that you maybe didn't grow up with it being such a massive goal.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Yeah.

[Lily Padman]

Because then you would have had so much pressure.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, so how did you get the audition?

[Marcelo Hernandez]

So I was selling tickets on the street. That was my job. I sold tickets on the street. I also sold electricity.

[Dax Shepard]

I love it. Because you got to get the bill.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

You got to get the bill. And they won't give me the bill.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

They don't want to give a 19 year old the bill. I'm dressed in a suit. I'm 19. I'm having the time.

[Dax Shepard]

And it's a scam. It's definitely a scam.

[Lily Padman]

It's a scam.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

I don't know if it was a scam.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, when the guy says he's going to pay you in a year, it's a scam.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

It was a loophole.

[Dax Shepard]

It was a loophole also. People don't need to sell electricity in New York City. That's not how electricity works.

[Lily Padman]

Yeah, I don't even get it.

[Dax Shepard]

Like, think about selling water. Oh, yeah, we're selling water to your house. What the fuck are you talking about?

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Room where this guy was like Wolf of Wall Streeting us and being like. When I say bill, you say, give it to me. You know, like that type of energy. And we're competing with Con Ed. Right. Which is you're not going to compete with Con ed. And it's 15 of us and none of us were good in school. It's like, are we gonna win? I don't know if we're gonna win. He liked the way I talked and stuff. And I was doing standup and I told him and he liked me. He's like, you have a lot of promise. Bring you to dinner and then you go to dinner with him. I Never sold a thing. I never made a dollar.

[Dax Shepard]

You tried to get businesses to give you their entire electrical bill so that you could then circle a bunch of things and then write, oh, we're gonna save you this.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, imagine cold calling Chipotle headquarters and going like, hey, so I'm gonna need your electrical bill.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

And we're not cold calling. We're pulling up.

[Lily Padman]

You're pulling up.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

I was walking around Brooklyn.

[Dax Shepard]

That's the best way.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Knocking on the door, walking in.

[Lily Padman]

They probably didn't know that you found peace in Lebanon and Kuwait. And, like, you should have maybe led with that.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Yeah, it's interesting. I should have done that. The environmental issues I could have fixed. So I was selling tickets on the street in New York, doing electricity during the day. My friend that you saw earlier, Santiago. We lived together in a dorm for a summer. I got a scholarship from my school for theater. They awarded me a theater scholarship on top of mine because I did well in theater. My mom was like, okay, we can take this money. We can pay for your summer in New York. So I spent a summer in New York doing this electricity stuff and doing the tickets. And then when I graduated that next semester, I moved to New York. My parents helped me a little bit with rent, and I was living in this guy's apartment in the Lower East. Well, first I lived in Bushwick for very little money, and I could kind of afford it myself. And it was bad.

[Lily Padman]

What form of bad?

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Like cockroaches and dirty. And the trash is full, smells everywhere.

[Dax Shepard]

And people are hitting each other. All the places.

[Lily Padman]

Yeah.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

And then I leveled up a little, little bit to the Lower east side with this guy. This guy was very interesting. The guy I lived with, he would drink a beer, a little bit of a beer, and then opened. Put it back in the fridge where we opened cans of beer in the fridge.

[Lily Padman]

Interesting.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

So I'm living there, I'm doing the tickets, and then the pandemic hits. That's the worst job to have. When the pandemic hits is you're standing on the street selling tickets. So the streets are empty at the time. I'm in Chicago staying on a friend's couch doing shows.

[Dax Shepard]

I gotta pause you. It's insane that all of his success is postponed. Pandemic.

[Lily Padman]

That is wild.

[Dax Shepard]

It feels five minutes ago.

[Lily Padman]

I know, but it's been a while.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, six years.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

So pandemic hits. I have no money. I have $800 to my name. I take it to Miami. My mom makes me fly to Miami. I fly to Miami. With all my stuff. I move back in with my mom. I give her $800. She goes, that's nice. And I'm just living with her. And I have a full, like, mental situation. I go mental. I'm moping around the house. I'm not helping. I am obsessed with COVID I'm obsessed. I'm spraying everybody. My mom gets back from the supermarket. You got to get naked. Give me the clothes. Give me the clothes. You're doing undies. Give me the clothes. I'm throwing it in the wash. You and my sister, they hate me. These two hate me. It's us three in the house. I'm spraying them. My stepdad is in Puerto Rico. He's working there at the time. And I'm, like, just spraying the crap out of them all day long. Spraying everything. I'm spraying my sister. I'm spraying my hands. My hands are dry from all the.

[Dax Shepard]

Sanitizer you were unraveling.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

I'm a real nightmare.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

And my mom makes me get a job, so that's when I get a headset sales job. I'm calling people 65 and over and telling them that through their Medicare, I'm able to take their medications out of cvs and do a home delivery at no additional cost to their insurance.

[Dax Shepard]

That's right.

[Lily Padman]

Sold.

[Dax Shepard]

And you're working with an assassin. A gal that's clearing six figures.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

She's unbelievable. Jamila, I'm thinking. Jamila's on the phone going, good evening. How are you doing today? Absolutely not. She goes, hello, I am Jamila, calling on behalf of the health center. I am here to reach.

[Dax Shepard]

That sounds official. That's smart.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

That was her move. I was trying to do.

[Dax Shepard]

Hey, wine and dine.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

They don't want that. Really think you're scamming them?

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, when you're old and you're in Florida, your phone's ringing every 30 seconds with someone trying to rip you off. Let's be honest.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

And I'm calling Florida. If I wake up late for work, then that means I stay two hours later. I call Texas because they're a couple hours behind. And I'm calling L. A. And Colorado. Late night. I'm 7pm in Miami calling Colorado.

[Lily Padman]

Middle of dinner.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

That's, you know, my headset. I'm doing the thing. I'm in my mom's house doing that. I was making 1100 bucks every two weeks.

[Dax Shepard]

Great.

[Lily Padman]

But it was keeping you distracted. You stop spraying everywhere.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

My mom is loving when I'm working, but it took a couple months. She was so mad at me for those months. I was a nightmare in the house. And then she's like, finally, you got a job. She bought me a desk. She goes, I'm so excited. She bought me a desk. She's like, you can sit in the desk in the house and do the job. She works from home. She's talking. I have the doors closed in this little room. And she's opening the door going, what did you sell?

[Lily Padman]

Did you sell?

[Marcelo Hernandez]

This is when I start to have a real panic of like, I'm not a comedian anymore. What is happening to you? It's horrible. I don't want to do this my whole life. So I start making these horrible little videos with a little tripod in her house with a horrible mic. And I still have them. I have them saved. These old horrible little videos. They're not doing well, obviously. And then I do one video that is things in Spanish sound better than in English and it does a little bit better. People like it. And then I'm still a panic about the. And my mom and we're getting into this big stuff because my mom and my sister are there in Miami and they want to go to lunch. And I go, you can't do that.

[Lily Padman]

There was a lot of fights about this at that time.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

So they go to lunch and then I don't want to talk to them. I go, you're disrespectful. You want to kill everybody. So I moved to my dad's house in Miami.

[Lily Padman]

Oh, okay.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Because he is out and about all day, but it's just us in the house. So I feel like, you know what I mean?

[Dax Shepard]

More manageable.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

I feel more manageable. And I have this protective thing about my mom and my sister where with my dad, I'm like, we're just a couple of guys. So I move in with him doing the cells. And then I step up the videos a little bit in his house. I get a ring light, I get a camera, I get a microphone. I teach myself to edit on Adobe Premiere. Now the videos are stepping up. I'm waking up before work. I'm jumping rope in underwear, playing music in his backyard. The neighbor said, like, I got to stop doing that, cuz his kid is watching me in the underwear. He doesn't like that. And the music's too loud and it's too early. It's 7am I'm jumping around. So I'm waking up, I'm jumping rope first. I'm writing for an hour. I'm doing the morning pages. I did the three Pages, stream of consciousness. I'm writing every single day. Then on Friday, I'm going to my buddy's Gio's house, smoking pot. I don't smoke pot anymore. But we're smoking pot back then.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, yeah, great.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

I'm smoking pot with him. I'm telling him all the jokes, and then he's telling me what he thinks. And then we find the one for this week. I go home, I film it, I edit it myself, and I put it out. I think video number four went crazy viral. Like, millions of views on TikTok.

[Dax Shepard]

What was the premise of the video?

[Marcelo Hernandez]

I use an accent when I feel uncomfortable. If I go to a supermarket and I don't know where, the catch is, is I can't go up to someone and go, hey, where's the ketchup? They go, what the hell? Go find it. But if I go into the supermarket and I go, excuse me, do you know where is the kachu? How do you say, for the papitas? And then they go, oh, yes, we'd love to help you. You know, that's it. So I did that, and that went crazy. I did a part two that was back when you were learning that, okay, do the same thing again. And then I did a bunch of these videos. I think it was an earlier video that happened, which was, I hate the club. I don't miss the club. The club is the Money Olympics. It's a bunch of people rooting for you to make a financially irresponsible decision.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

So I make that video, and Miami people really like it. And then I get a call from a girl that I knew from Gettys, and she goes, I'm working with this Instagram account in Miami. Do you think that you could do a meeting and do some content for them? And I'm like, I would love to. I do the meeting, I tell them I would do the videos for them. And I go. And there's one idea I have, but if I tell you the idea, you have to let me do it. You can't take my idea and give it to someone else. And the guy's like, okay, whatever. And then I go, you know how Dave Portnoy tries pizza? We're in Miami. I would like to go to all of the best cafeterias and try croquetas. And the guys he loved. He goes, he did that. He smacked the guy. He smacked the guy. That's what I knew.

[Lily Padman]

I had Classic.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

These two guys smacks the guy, and I'm like, okay, I got Him. And so I started making these videos for them that people hate me on the account. My mom makes an Instagram for her dog and starts responding to the people.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, yeah.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

But now I have a job. I'm working the two jobs at the same time. And then I tell the guy, you got to give me 500 bucks a week so I can quit my other job. He goes, fine, but you're going to have to be the creative director of the whole page. Oh. So now I'm literally doing everything for the page. I'm up 24 hours a day. I'm updating the stories. I'm doing an ad with headquarter Toyota. I'm going to Toyota. I'm figuring out the ad, dad writing the line.

[Dax Shepard]

This is great.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Doing all of this.

[Dax Shepard]

This is a great way to learn everything.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Exactly. I'm learning as I go, pretending like I know what I'm doing.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, it's powerful.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

And then at this time, this comedian, Tim Dillon, he says he's going to Miami. And I had met him in passing in New York, and I sent him a dm. I go, I see you're in Miami. I work for this account. We've met before. Do you mind if I open for you? And he said, I don't care. And then I took that to the club, and I go, he doesn't care. Come on, let me do it. They let me do it. And then Tim goes, why don't we go on the road?

[Dax Shepard]

I don't care.

[Lily Padman]

Great.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

So now I'm touring with him, living in Miami, making 500 bucks a week, 2,000 bucks a month. My cousin is also living in Miami. He goes, why don't we move into an apartment together? I go, that sounds like fun. We move into an apartment together. I'm paying a thousand bucks in rent. We have this nice little apartment in Miami now. I'm like, okay, I moved out. I have a thing now. This is going great. Now I'm working that job full time. At the same time, I feel figure out that this other guy I knew was working at a YouTube channel. I go, let me write for you at the YouTube channel. He goes, I'll see what I can do. They start giving me 200 bucks per video that I did with him. So now I'm driving up to Boca to do that with him once a week, writing with him for four or five hours for 200 bucks. Now I'm making a little bit of money. I'm on the road, and then I find another guy at this comedy show, and he's like, I want to do standup. And I go, let me write your standup. I'll help you write your standup. We'll sit down. I'll interview you. He's a rich guy. He had just sold his company and he wants to do stand up. I go, I'll sit down with you in your apartment. I'll write down stuff that I think is interesting about you. We'll make you some jokes. So he's giving me 200 bucks as well. So now I'm 200 bucking it.

[Dax Shepard]

You're building a quilt out of 200 bucks?

[Marcelo Hernandez]

And then at the same time, I start opening for this guy, Mark vieira, this Puerto Rican comic. He's taking me on the road a little bit. And then at the same time, Gilbert Gottfried, I get hit up through a friend of a friend to open for Gilbert. So now I'm opening for a few guys doing standup in Miami, traveling bit. And Tim Dillon tells me, if you don't move back to New York, I can't keep you as my guy. Cuz I need you to be working. I need you to be active. And in Miami, there's just not enough. So when he tells me that, I am like, all right, I have to figure it out. And thank God I have another friend that I call, and I'm like, hey, man, are you thinking about going to New York? He goes, you know what? I am. And he has family money, and he's a very, very close friend of mine. And then he starts sending me apartments. And I'm like, oh, no. Oh, no, no, no, no. I can't do that.

[Lily Padman]

Yeah.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

He says he keeps going, nah, we'll figure it out. And then I'm like, no, no. We're at two very different places in our life.

[Lily Padman]

Yeah.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Ultimately, he lets me pay him very little money to sleep.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, that's nice. God bless for one year in New York.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

So I moved to New York from New York. I'm doing the zooms with the guy to write the stuff for 200 bucks. I'm doing the zooms with the other guy to write the stuff for 200 bucks. I'm doing my videos from my bathroom because people can't know I'm not in Miami because I'm doing a weekly news video about Miami. And those videos start to kind of take off. I do it on the toilet. I sit on the toilet. I thought that would be interesting.

[Dax Shepard]

Sure.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

And people start to like the videos, and it's great. Going better. And then every night, I'm doing Five, six shows in New York. Hosting is the easiest thing to get if you want to. Because nobody wants to host.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, no, yeah.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

So I'm like, I'll host every single show. So I'm hosting all these shows and then just for laughs, comes over to New York. During this year, the club goes. You've been hosting so much, we want to put you into audition.

[Lily Padman]

Wow.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

So they put me down to audition. I audition for jfl. I get the callback, I get jfl, which is like a huge moment in my life. I go to Canada for, for jfl. This is towards the end of the year, I'm figuring out what am I going to do when my rich friend doesn't let me slay on his couch anymore. I'm going to go back to Bushwick and I go to jfl. I go to Canada at jfl. I finish my six minute set and I meet a producer from snl. They go, we love your set. I go, fantastic, thank you. I'm not ready for this. Continue. And then they go, we'd like to see you and audition in New York. So I auditioned in, I think it was ucb. And then a few weeks after that, I got of a couple call back, my buddy's like, we have the apartment till August and this is just when all this is going down. And I go, you gotta extend the lease. You can't do this to me right now. And he did it. He's just helping me and I'm very grateful for him. My boy Cole, I was at his wedding. I spoke and everything. I love this guy, my sponsor. So I do this thing at the ucb. I call my mom after she goes, how to go? I go, I don't know, mama, my mom's freaking out. My mom starts smoking cigarettes again, going back to soccer mom, freaking out. And then I get a call back to go to the studio. I go to the studio and do it.

[Dax Shepard]

I've heard you retell it. And zero laughs, right?

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Yeah, yeah, zero laugh. I might have heard a cough. It could have been a laugh. I heard it sounded like a cough.

[Dax Shepard]

And then you ask someone else who had auditioned, like, did they laugh? And they're like, yeah, what could be scarier?

[Marcelo Hernandez]

That's scary.

[Dax Shepard]

So at no point during it where you're like, I think I got a good shot.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

No. And then I get called back again for meetings with the writers, where you sit down and you talk to the writers and they're like, what do you want to do here? And I'm like, I, I the Latin Stuff. And then they're like, okay. And then I have those meetings. And then after the meetings, they sit you down in this room, the people that were all called in for the meetings, and it's me, Devin Walker, Michael Longfellow, Molly Carney, and Chloe Trost. And then they call one of us into a meet with Lauren. Devin was first. I'll never forget it. Devin goes in, talks to Lauren, comes out, and we go. So he goes, I got it. Wow. And we're like, oh, God.

[Dax Shepard]

He tells you down. Wow.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

You got it, dude. This is amazing.

[Lily Padman]

Weren't freaking out, but also, are you.

[Dax Shepard]

Like, well, there goes one slot.

[Lily Padman]

You have to.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

You feel like the slots are.

[Dax Shepard]

They are finite, you know, we're hugging him.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

We're like, it's amazing. He's like, all right, guys. Bye. And we're like, okay, bye. He leaves. Now it's four of us. I'm drawing. I'll never forget. I was drawing a boat. I was so nervous. And then I go in, we just start talking about the show and what do you love from the show and all this stuff. And then he doesn't give me truly the feeling that I got it right. It wasn't clear.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

He didn't say, say, like, I'll see you soon. Yeah, see you in a bit. It was like, okay, nice to meet you. Then I come out and they're like, so. And I'm like, you know, I don't know.

[Lily Padman]

Yeah.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Then I walk out.

[Lily Padman]

Oh, no.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Call my mom. And she's like, do you get it? I go, I don't know. Well, I have no idea. She's like, oh, my God, Marcelo. These people, they don't tell us anything. And then a couple weeks go by, and you get the call where it's all your agents. Yeah. And it's either yes or no. And they're like, they're offering you a spot on the cast.

[Lily Padman]

And did you cry?

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Yeah, I cried. I cried. I called my mom. I cried.

[Lily Padman]

Oh, was your so happy?

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, a job. She loves it when I get a.

[Lily Padman]

Job, of course, but that specifically.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

So that's it. That's the story.

[Lily Padman]

Oh, great story.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. Your stand up, which. I watched American Boy.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Did you enjoy it so much?

[Dax Shepard]

And I watched it with my whole family, and we all fucking loved it.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

You can watch it with the family.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, my family. You can.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Kids can watch it.

[Dax Shepard]

11 and 12, they were fine. No, it wasn't nasty.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

There was no cursing, really.

[Dax Shepard]

There's some sexual dancing.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

A little bit of dance. Can dance now, what did you call it?

[Dax Shepard]

Not nasty. Grimy.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Don't make me get nasty.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. I mean, there's so many wonderful things I want to talk about from the standup. But also, I don't want to ruin any of it, but the whole party scenario was fantastic.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Thank you, man.

[Dax Shepard]

Let me be clear. It's wonderful and you're very specific. You're very unique. You know exactly what you are.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Are you sensing a but coming?

[Lily Padman]

I, I, I, I, Yeah, but I think it's going to be a good butt.

[Dax Shepard]

It is, it is, it is, it is. I just want to be very clear before I get into my like, curiosities that are how the sausage is made.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Right, right, right.

[Dax Shepard]

Without saying, just straight. Loved it.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Took me a long time to make it.

[Dax Shepard]

First of all, just visually it's kind of a throwback one, which I love. There's just so many standup specials now, Unlike there was 15 years ago, we didn't have these. So I think to break through that clutter and have something unique, enormous accomplishment. It's just very authentic and you're very comfortable and fluid and it's lovely. You talk so much about getting hit a bit. Yeah, yeah, a bit.

[Lily Padman]

Getting hit.

[Dax Shepard]

Growing up, getting slapped, getting your ear pulled, getting taken into what he calls the Coliseum, the bathroom of the Macy's or where the mom's shopping. And I love it because a, I grew up that way too.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Everyone got hit. My grandparents who loved me and raised me, she had a yardstick. She was from Kentucky and she's like, I'm getting the yardstick. And she'd hit you with a three.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Foot piece of wood and never to hurt.

[Dax Shepard]

I wasn't beat.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Exactly. And that's wrong.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes. You say it perfectly. You say I was hit a lot but never hard.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Exactly. I was never hit hard. I was hit a lot. Yeah, that's it.

[Dax Shepard]

This was my thought. This standup routine existed. And then they had the thought a lot of people were not hit. A lot of people are uncomfortable with this.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

But this magic trick happened, which is you are introduced by your mother, you come out on stage, we see this impossibly beautiful role relationship.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

The best.

[Dax Shepard]

They dance together. It's so beautiful. And I was like, someone figured out if we start the show this way we can enjoy all this stuff without being uncomfortable.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Did that math happen?

[Marcelo Hernandez]

No, it didn't.

[Dax Shepard]

That just organically happened.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

I just wanted.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, it's an enormous tool.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

I didn't even think about that. But for me, the reason I did that Is because for a long time, my grades weren't the best, and I was never like, this exemplary child. And she worked so, so hard. My mom as a person is truly an example. Someone that is moral, that takes care of her family, that is nice to people, that is respectful, gives her time back. She's just a beautiful human being. And she went through a lot of really dark stuff, and she communicated that to me quite a bit.

[Dax Shepard]

You know, I. I know this stuff anytime.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Anytime, maybe she could. And when you grow up like that, and then something good happens to you and you feel like you've made it. The first thing that has come to my mind all the time, whenever I'm doing an interview or somebody's asking, all I can think of is like, I can't believe that she gets to see this. And having her out. I mean, she's done commercials with me. She's been on Fallon. She's done a lot of stuff. And to me, it's just like, you deserve this thing. If I was a car salesman, I'd buy her a car. I do those types of things. You do whatever you can with what you're doing. So because I'm doing show business, you're.

[Dax Shepard]

Bringing her along with you.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Exactly. And so her introducing me was also perfect, because it's like, you should take a look at her and you should see how we are, because I'm gonna talk about her a lot.

[Lily Padman]

Yeah.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

And so it'd be weird if I'm talking about her and it's like, where is she?

[Lily Padman]

There's no reference.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Exactly.

[Dax Shepard]

And you're worrying. You have this natural fear, like, is she cool with him saying this?

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Exactly.

[Dax Shepard]

That's what I'm saying. The magic trick, which is uncalculated.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Yeah, yeah. You think about. You go, who's going to bring you out? We're going to do a Voice of God. Is the host going to do it? Who's going to bring you out? I'm like, oh, that's easy. It's like the first thing in my mind. He goes, oh, that's easy. Mom will go out and do it. I know her. I know her personality. I know she's going to come out. She went out like this.

[Dax Shepard]

Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert if you dare.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

You know when you go sleep at a friend's house and they drop you back off and your mom comes out and she goes, hi, good to see you. Thank you. Thank you for bringing him back. And then the mom of your friend goes, he's a great kid. Yeah, my mom is the mom, where they go, he's a fantastic kid. And she goes, mm, yeah, I'm sure. Come in the house. Like, that was the energy.

[Dax Shepard]

Always was like, I know him.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Exactly. And I always had the thing of, like, I know every football player's name, I know every baseball player's name, I know every soccer player's name. But I didn't know my times tables. I did bad in math. And so she always had that thing where you go out to dinner and we're with, like, another couple or something. I'm talking to the husband and I'm like, oh, my God. Yeah. I mean, Jake Delome in Carolina, what he's doing with that program is unbelievable. I mean, he's really playing well over there. You know, Nazr Muhammad and you know Steve Smith. I mean, they're just a great wide receiver core. And it's unbelievable the way that they're able to make both of them happy when they have such talent. And I'm bringing up all this stuff like, Brian Erlacher is just a leader of men. And I'm talking like that at 12, 13. And then at some point she goes, you know all of that about seven times nine. Okay. You know, so that was kind of the vibe with her. And I got a detention all the time, and she worked all day. So if I got detention, I missed the bus home. She was like, I'm picking you up at 8:00 at night. Yeah, that's just what it is. Yeah. You made your bed so many a time. A stress that this woman that has been through so much did not need. She shouldn't be worried about my grades. I have nothing to worry about. I have a home. I have food, I have water. There's no reason I should be getting bad grades or putting her through the dean of my school, calling her, telling her that I cheated on a test or that I started a riot or whatever the stuff, stupid stuff. I did start one riot, but I never got in trouble for it. Now that people know. But it's okay. It was a riot, like, but we put it in a contained space and. And I always felt like, damn, dude. Like, I stressed this woman out so much for so much time, and now I get to do the opposite. I give her good experiences. I talk about her fondly. I want to do the opposite. Now. We had a lady that my mom hired, this woman that was back then an illegal immigrant. There's nothing you can do about it now. She's a citizen, but she lived in my house, and my mom Traveled a lot for work, so someone had to stay with us. And I remember vividly, like, those nights when I'm being assigned psychopath, and this woman has to call my mom, who's in Belgium working her ass off so her kids can go to school and everything can be fine. We can live the life that she wants us to live. And she's like, your son is being very difficult. He won't drink the milk. And she's like, when I get back, you know? Yeah, I had a lot of those.

[Dax Shepard]

Tell him to enjoy his ears because I'm twisting them off the second.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

So many of those.

[Lily Padman]

But listen, if you weren't that. That kid, you wouldn't be this person. You wouldn't be this person on stage. You wouldn't be as someone at snl.

[Dax Shepard]

Patience.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

One thing I was telling my boy the other day, because my boy Santi, he's a star. He went to Brown.

[Dax Shepard]

He's a stud. He's a water.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Female player, Division 1 player of the year. Okay? Yeah.

[Lily Padman]

Wow.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

He's in a different level. Played for the Peruvian national team. For real. I trained one time with my national team, and it's Dominican Republic. He played for Peru. You understand? It was a savage. He's incredible. He won state championships. He was an unbelievable, believable player. Stanford was recruiting, and his mom was always so nice to him. His mom would pack his bags. He goes, I'm going on a trip. She'll pack the bag. This kid, he came to la, he didn't bring pants. He brought one pair of pants. The pants just got here today via FedEx. You understand that he's a star and he's almost 30. And he's almost 30. And he'S my best friend. And I know my mom was always like, it's there. He had perfect grades. He's studying. He's doing all his homework. I'm not studying. I'm showing up late. I'm doing the whole thing wrong, doing everything great. And then I realized I'm like, the reason that my mom never packed my bags or didn't do random acts of kindness for me is because I didn't deserve them. It's like, you have to deserve it. And that's something that's lost in today's America. You have to earn it. You have to deserve it. And looking back when I was like, damn, bro, you tell your mom you're hungry and something appears. I think that's unbelievable. My mom doesn't. And it's like, it's not because my mom is weird.

[Dax Shepard]

Or he says he's hungry, she says, what are you in the mood for? Stuff like, can you imagine? There's a options, there's snacks.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

I mean, there's a different energy when you are a star. And if I was a star when.

[Dax Shepard]

I was a kid, you've been treated like one.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

I would have been treated like one.

[Dax Shepard]

That's a good point.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

So if you're a kid out there, you're not being treated like a star.

[Dax Shepard]

You're getting what you deserve.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

There's a reason. Oh, my God, now I understand it. Every time I've sipped this tea, it's at the perfect temperature and it doesn't get cold. And I go, what's going on here?

[Dax Shepard]

There's kind of voodoo.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

The coaster is heating.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, you can take it off. The coaster charges the battery within the cup and then you can keep that cup anyway.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Oh, yeah, Shepherd, Isn't that good?

[Lily Padman]

It's high quality here.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

There's a level in Hollywood that you get to. Yeah, that it's unbelievable. This is what I'm talking about. I know, I'm sorry.

[Dax Shepard]

No, just. You were saying I'm of two minds. Because what's funny is now I'm in the different category, which is now I have money and I'm raising kids and I have money and I have privilege and all these things. And yeah, I'm not hitting my kids and I'm talking with them. I have the time and patience and I'm not stressed.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

It's a different thing.

[Dax Shepard]

And. And I'm with that. And I value the shit out of how I grew up.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

And also, I think it's important to say that there's a way to hit them without hitting them.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

You know what I mean? Sure, sure, sure.

[Dax Shepard]

Without anger.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

My mom didn't hit me my whole life. There was a specific couple years. It wasn't this long term thing. Parents don't like it. It gets weird. It gets weird, especially when you're fast. Once the kid gets fast, starts running away, chasing. You don't want your kid to run away. It's a metaphor. I never was like, I have a bruise that's so wrong and bad. It's always the fat that it got physical in any way, any tiny way. It's like, it's a different thing. One time, and I don't talk about this on the special, but one time I was on my mom's computer in her office and she thought I was playing on the computer. I was doing my homework. I might have been playing. But I switched it up at the right time. And when she came in, she goes, what are you doing on my computer? And I go, look. And she looks. She. She sees it, and she goes, okay. She walks away. And I go, yeah, that's right. Oh. Let's just say she tickled me in a way that.

[Dax Shepard]

Was not enjoyable.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

But those are important moments to have as a kid, because I am a thank you, please stickler, and I'm so proud of that. My stepdad is a very generous man. My stepdad is always the extra tip. What's your name?

[Dax Shepard]

He gives respect to people.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

He give respect. And I think that's. Those are things that you want to do for the kid. Cause then they get proud of it. I'm proud of it. I tell my friends, if you're hanging out with me, and you don't say plea, I go, come on with the.

[Lily Padman]

I know.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

I find it fun.

[Dax Shepard]

Me too.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

That's why I'm excited to have kids. I cannot wait to go, are you out of your mind? I think that's fun. It's like, remember when you were little and you would see a teacher and she would go, if you can hear me, clap once. And everybody goes, I saw that. And I go, that's fun. To control, to have the power. It's fun. I kind of wanted to be a teacher, to be like, you're my. Mine. Whatever I say, it's. I do. And I think that's part of the standup thing. It's like, I want these people to listen to me.

[Lily Padman]

Give me a moment. You have control of the scenario.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Yeah, I like that.

[Dax Shepard]

But what's happening in this subtext, what's fun about is it caused a lot of conversation post watching it, where I was like, you know, the thing I think is being somewhat poked at here, not explicitly again, but I look at Anna, and this girl's on a Zoom call with her Entire family, like 30 members of her family, and they party over Zoom. It's the cutest thing in the world. And they're. Some are in Spain, some are here. The closeness, the emotions that are on display, all of it to say is like, there is this elite problem in this country, and we call it white in general, but that's too generic that it's some percentage of this white world.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

White people come in every color. You don't have to be white to be white. I get what you mean in some ways. Obviously, you can't change your skin tone. And I have a lot of white friends. I want to say That I haven't seen any.

[Lily Padman]

But that's fine.

[Dax Shepard]

I'll believe it when I say my best friends. But I think there is an issue issue in this country and it's infecting politics and it's infecting how people are voting. And it's really this elitism that is a problem. It's these like six generation people and they know everything. And science proved it and academia proved it. And this is how you raise your kids and this is how you do everything. It's like, okay, well what's the result of that? Sometimes it's really good. But of all the people that you're saying are raising their kids wrong, why is it that at every Christmas all 40 of them are there and no one wants to be with their parents? There is no extra. What are the results of all this? Whether you're saying it explicitly or not, it's very there. And it was hitting me.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

I think a big thing is it's important in my mind, not that I know anything about having kids, but I think it's important for you to show the kids that when they do wrong, it affects you. For me, over my life, whenever I did something bad or wrong, my mom was never okay, it was never fine. It was never like, ah, it happens. And I think that's a big problem. It shouldn't be okay. It's okay for it to not be okay. And to the extent that you want to do it is up to you, to your family. But I do think it's really, really important to show the kids that when you do something bad or wrong, it affects you, it hurts you, it doesn't make you feel good.

[Dax Shepard]

You're not an island. You're affecting everyone around you. She wants you to be responsible for what you're doing in the world. The outcome is your wrote it a.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Thousand times on a paper. I will be responsible for my actions. My stepdad, we used to do lines. You're going to do lines and I will do lines. I will be responsible for my actions. I probably did that specific sentence on like three or four occasions on like a million pages. Now.

[Lily Padman]

Has that backfired at all? Do you think you're too much of a people pleaser?

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Perhaps. But also, I am a big accountability guy.

[Lily Padman]

Yep.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

I am a big. That was bad. I did a bad thing. That was wrong. Wrong. And I'm wrong. I'm proud of that.

[Lily Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

And then you get very, very, with a loose grip, you get into immigration in this very wonderful way.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Thank you. Ideas Meal.

[Dax Shepard]

I can't say. Because I don't want to give away kind of the ending, but I just love the movies.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

[Dax Shepard]

It's so fucking good. Because. Yeah, when white people get weird. I think Chris Rock had a joke about it. Some black comedian had a joke about that. He's like getting in an elevator with a white guy is like, he might be tiny and stuff, but he might also eat people. Like the fear you have.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Exactly.

[Dax Shepard]

It's like, does this dude eat people?

[Marcelo Hernandez]

White people are curious.

[Dax Shepard]

Some of us are. Fucking kinky, huh?

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Yeah, there is. And to me it was just like, dude, I never was like a kid that was worried about politics. My parents never let me go there. My parents always made me think about what's in front of you. It's your day to day. That's kind of our passion. What are you working on? How are you making money? How are you surviving? And that stays my main focus. I really don't get into it.

[Dax Shepard]

Again, not to be dismissive, but it's like a luxury to be worrying about all this other shit that's outside of your entire world.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

I said this one time because I always thought about my dad and about my mom and about how they reacted to my problems. I don't know if I came up with this or someone helped me come up with it, but it helped me understand them and accept them in a beautiful way. I've said it to myself a million times and it is this. You cannot expect from a person that comes from extreme circumstances. A moderate response. Yeah, you cannot expect a moderate response from someone that comes from something extreme. It's not that they can't do it, it's that you can't expect it.

[Lily Padman]

Right.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

So anybody in the world that says something crazy, the trumps of the world and on the other side, you know, the people that are going hard, everybody's going hard. When I hear something that is striking from anybody from any either side, I immediately go, they probably come from an extreme thing and that's why they're saying extreme stuff.

[Lily Padman]

That's generous.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Saying it's generous. It's like I'm doing it for them. Yeah, no, I'm doing it for me.

[Lily Padman]

Yes. No, I know.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

I say that so that I can calm down.

[Lily Padman]

Exactly. So it doesn't make you outright.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

I don't expect you to be moderate. I don't expect you to be this perfectly eloquent or well mannered or politically correct person because I know where you come from.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, yeah, this was my defensive ti. He got in trouble and I Don't like what he said. He's, like going to go to the doctor and make sure his daughter Hyman's intact. And this was a huge uproar. And I was like, yeah, that's rough. I don't think that should happen.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Sure.

[Dax Shepard]

But you're also talking about a guy whose mother was a prostitute and was supporting the family at nine years old. So guess what? He may have come up about 55 levels. And you came up 0.5 from this great house. And then you're in judgment of that guy. Kind of you.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

I'm not about judgment. It's not healthy.

[Dax Shepard]

And to your point, there's this great book, the Body Keeps a Score. Maybe you've heard about that book. But this doctor's work starts because he's working when he's young in the VA hospital and he's watching these vets come in and they're getting confronted with something that's just a little difficult. Like, it's paperwork. And he's watching people have this insane flight or fight reaction. Full 180 heartbeat per minute unraveling. And he goes, man, something's going on. That's like a crazy reaction from my point of view to that. So why is that happening? It's like, well, fuck, you just left Vietnam. You're heightened and you're going to stay.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Heightened to be chill.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, yeah.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

My stepdad, the same thing. My stepdad went through everything. Everything he went through. So when I was younger, I was like, damn, this guy's like, uptight. This guy's high strung. Yeah. What's going on with this guy? And my mom's high, strong.

[Dax Shepard]

This guy runs hot.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

You know what I mean? What the heck? And my dad says crazy stuff. I'm like, what the heck is up with these people? And then I get a little bit older and I think about that, and it calmed me down. Soon as I started thinking about that, about not expecting it. And then I apply that to everyone I meet. And then I get to be calm. I affect myself. I think crazy stuff. And then I go, damn. But when other people do it, I go, you come from a thing. Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, this is my last question. And it's because I'm newly obsessed with her through my daughter. Thank God. I went and saw Sabrina Carpenter month ago with my daughter. I just love her. Monica's been making fun of me, I think Short and Sweet came out like a month ago. And I'm just obsessed with the.

[Lily Padman]

You know, it's been out for a. There's another one since Then actually out.

[Dax Shepard]

So you're pals with her, are you? Pals?

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Yeah, I would say we're pals. For sure. You're pal. How did that start, the Domingo thing? I don't know if there was something before the Domingo thing. I don't know if she was on the show or if we did something, but the Domingo thing was big.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

And she was all about it, and it was so cool. And it felt for me like I was on that plane to LA after snl. It was on a Sunday after snl, so it feels very Hollywood. And the writers, of course, I'll shout out the writers too, because I love to shout out the writers. Kiro Sullivan, Jimmy Fy Sooty Green and Ali Levitan. And they all came with me from New York to LA, to the Forum. No, to 14. 15,000 people were thinking about what I'm going to say, what the bit's going to be. It's so fun. And my best friend Santi came, and his girlfriend came too. Now his fiance. Congratulations to Santi. Of course, a guy like that gets married. Of course, guy like that has to get married. But it was insane. It felt old school in the sense that, like a character from a TV show, you want to see them in another place. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Truly a unreal experience. And Sabrina's really down to clown. She's down to think of something funny. She's an actress.

[Dax Shepard]

That's why I've become obsessed with her, because she was hosting snl and of course, my daughters are so excited. So I watch it with her and I'm like, my God, she's fantastic. And then while we're watching the episode, I'm now Wikipedia ing her. I'm like, oh, right. She was an actor on Disney forever. She was an actor before she was a singer. Of course she's great. Like, I'm having all these realizations.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

They're so good, the young actors. Sabrina, Ariana.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, they do it all.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Keenan.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Watching them at a cold read. They're great because they've been doing it for so long now.

[Dax Shepard]

If I'm you again and I'm 28, I'm going to try to date her with all my might. Are you not trying your hardest to marry her?

[Marcelo Hernandez]

I'm in a relationship with a Dominican girl. She's an architect.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh. And she's unreal.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

She went to Yale.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, wow. Wow. All right.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

But Sabrina's awesome and she's really funny. He's great.

[Dax Shepard]

Marcelo, I really like you. You're adorable.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

I Think this is my first one.

[Dax Shepard]

I feel very honored.

[Lily Padman]

Me, too.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

My first one since everything happened.

[Lily Padman]

We're going to count it. We're going to say first.

[Dax Shepard]

It's their first.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

American Boy is on Netflix. Please watch it. It's hysterical. Also, I'm so excited to learn that you're also. You did a movie with Kevin Har. You're doing it right? Right now. 72 hours.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Yeah, we filmed it already. It'll be out in July.

[Dax Shepard]

Is that a nod to 48 hours? Is it a similar concept?

[Marcelo Hernandez]

No, it's more in the world of It's a bro bachelor party.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. Okay. I wish we could combine those words somehow. Bro.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Party.

[Dax Shepard]

That doesn't work.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

We'll.

[Dax Shepard]

We'll work on it before the film comes out.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Bachelor is a little bit formal for what happens at those. That's right.

[Lily Padman]

That is correct.

[Dax Shepard]

It's like your nephew speaking English. Exactly. Okay. This was delightful. Thank you for the gift. Everyone. Watch American Boy.

[Lily Padman]

I'm so excited.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Went to Marshalls, bro. Old school.

[Dax Shepard]

I have a very strong feeling we'll do this many times.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

I hope so. Dude, this is fun. I like this. Thank you.

[Dax Shepard]

Be good. I sure hope there weren't any mistakes in that episode. But we'll find out when my mom, Mrs. Monica, comes in and tells us what was wrong. I have so much to report.

[Lily Padman]

Let's hear.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, I went home to Detroit, Michigan. Cute sweatshirt.

[Lily Padman]

Thank you. This is our thousandth one of our thousandth episode Merchant merch items. It is really cute. I love it. I'll show the back.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. Yeah.

[Lily Padman]

Because the back is important.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, that's super cute. I hadn't even seen that cherry with a bazillion names inside the cherries. That's great. Your cascading hair did block a good deal of it, but I think that enhances the. Yeah. The mystery thrill of trying to see it.

[Lily Padman]

All of our guest names are in there. That's cool.

[Dax Shepard]

So I went home on a Wednesday, and it was when I was landed. It was just. We just landed on ice and snow. And it looked like Fargo out the window. Ton of snow.

[Lily Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

And, you know, I traveled light. I had a backpack and a roll on. Get in the car with my friend Jonathan.

[Lily Padman]

Oh, I love Pony Shout out.

[Dax Shepard]

He's so young. I keep forgetting how young he is. He's younger than you.

[Lily Padman]

Barely. He's not that 35. Yeah, that's not.

[Dax Shepard]

He's pretty young. He's like.

[Lily Padman]

He has a kid and I think another kid on the way.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. He's my Boss though, you know. Anyways, get to the hotel at 10:30pm and I think, huh, I'm gonna go to Lafayette, Coney island and get a couple chili dogs, maybe a loose burger and some fries before I hit the hay.

[Lily Padman]

What's a loose burger?

[Dax Shepard]

It's ground beef on a hot dog bun and then covered in the chili sauce, onions and a mustard.

[Lily Padman]

Okay. And tell me how that's different than the Coney.

[Dax Shepard]

The Coney has a hot dog in it with the chili olive oil.

[Lily Padman]

This is without the hot dog ground.

[Dax Shepard]

Beef called a loose burger. Like you imagine that the burger is not a patty, it's loose, but it's on a hot dog bun. It's very fun.

[Lily Padman]

Loose burger.

[Dax Shepard]

That's what my mom always gets. My mom doesn't with hot dogs. Right. She doesn't trust them.

[Lily Padman]

Now, does the Coney sauce also have beef in ground beef?

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Beef on beef on beef is always the goal.

[Lily Padman]

I just wanted to get it straight.

[Dax Shepard]

And also like I had sent my brother and sister mom a picture and. And they were. Someone pointed out like, you know, people really rage about you're not supposed to put ketchup on them.

[Lily Padman]

Right.

[Dax Shepard]

Which makes no sense cuz you put ketchup on everything that ground beef's in. You know, hamburger.

[Lily Padman]

Yeah, but the scone, the chili sauce.

[Dax Shepard]

But then you also put ketchup on a hot dog. No one's freaking about that.

[Lily Padman]

It's the chili that you don't put ketchup on.

[Dax Shepard]

I know.

[Lily Padman]

Yeah, I'm with them on that.

[Dax Shepard]

So as it turns out, I am staying almost directly across the apartment I lived at in Detroit.

[Lily Padman]

Okay. Yeah, that's fun.

[Dax Shepard]

And I'm sure I've told enough stories on here what the Vibe was in 94 when I was there. So before I go, I think, okay, I've got to take about 24 bucks and put it in my left pocket without any of the credit cards I need and care about. But I need to put one dummy credit card in there so that if I get mugged I can hand them all that stuff. It'll look like that's my shit. And then I've hidden my rest of my money and my normal credit card that I would not want to lose elsewhere on my body. Oh, this was standard operating operating procedure SOP when we lived there. Yeah, you just hit. That's what you had to do. So I go through all this work of like getting myself situated to get mugged. Right?

[Lily Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

And because unlike in my 20s where I was willing to fight over the money. I'm no longer willing to fight over the money. So I'm just gonna hand it over. Right?

[Lily Padman]

Yeah, that's right.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. So Also there's like 4 inches of fresh powder. So it's so dreamy outside. I'm like, I start walking.

[Lily Padman]

What time is it now?

[Dax Shepard]

It's about 10:45 at night.

[Lily Padman]

Okay. Really late, late.

[Dax Shepard]

And I walk across the street and now I'm directly the apartment on Griswold where there's this little park. And again I'm like, I'm peeping everywhere. My. Who's going to roll up on me? And the first thing I come up to is a very frail like 60 year old man. White man walking, two pugs in sweaters.

[Lily Padman]

Sure not what you expected.

[Dax Shepard]

And I'm like, this guy would not have lasted 11 minutes out on this street in 1994. He would have been relieved of the dogs in his wallet for sure.

[Lily Padman]

If not kill dogs too.

[Dax Shepard]

I don't know, who knows, maybe someone's girlfriend would want a dog. They were cute. They were in sweaters.

[Lily Padman]

Oh.

[Dax Shepard]

And as I'm going up to my favorite chili dog place, there's two cars out front just running. Cause it's so cold out, whoever's eating inside just leaving their car running. So the heat's on. Wow. And then I go inside and I eat and I just sit there watching. There's two cars running. I mean, Monica, this is inconceivable.

[Lily Padman]

Yeah. Times change. Places change.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

They change.

[Dax Shepard]

And I did not see this coming. I couldn't have been happy here for the city of Detroit.

[Lily Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

And I'm like, I could have kept all my money in my left pocket and I could have held my phone and. And then I, as I'm walking back to the hotel, there's a goddamn Gucci store next to the hotel.

[Lily Padman]

Yeah, that's.

[Dax Shepard]

Now my mind is exploding. I'm like, what has happened down here? I mean, this is the ultimate glow up I've ever seen.

[Lily Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Couldn't believe it. Then I get into my room. It's gorgeous. The Chenol Hotel. I'm like, oh my God, there's a gorgeous hotel now in downtown Detroit. So I get back to the room. I don't know what it is, 11:30 at night. Now I also have a commitment in the morning at 11am which is totally fine. I'm gonna be fine for sleep. And then I'm hanging in the room for a little bit. And then I think of something I want out of my backpack. I go to get my Backpack. I don't have my backpack. And I'm like, oh, that's rough. I panic on a 2 for about 10 minutes. I start thinking like, okay, well, I do remember bringing it to. To that car. Okay. So I was left in that car. Where do we find this guy? The guy already said the. That the car services were overwhelmed because of the snow and everything else. And they have to get back to the airport. They're going to be whatever. And then I remember I have brought my memoir with me so that I can write in it.

[Lily Padman]

You should.

[Dax Shepard]

I know. I really probably shouldn't travel with it.

[Lily Padman]

Yeah, you can't.

[Dax Shepard]

And then my journal's in there too.

[Lily Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

And I'm like, oh, my. I'm so devastated at the thought that because I have one of the four books I've written in a notebook and I'm towards the end of that notebook and I'm like, If I lose 90 handwritten pages, I don't even remember what I covered in that section. I wouldn't. I'm so devastated that I'm like, I don't know that I would resume writing it. I think I would be like, I can't possibly rewrite the 90 pages I lost and blah, blah. So I am really now fucking panicked.

[Lily Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

And we get ahold of the driver, but only in as much as the driver says, I'm with somebody.

[Lily Padman]

They're reading a really interesting book in the back.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes. And then they're going through your journal and they are on the phone with tmz. And so, I mean, this is as fucking bad as it can get for me. And I'm really trying not to panic about it and just stay optimistic. All to say, I do get it back, but I get it back at like 2:45am yeah. It's late, but I'm so relieved. Whatever.

[Lily Padman]

Did you try to, like, look and see. See if it had been tampered with?

[Dax Shepard]

I didn't. Like, I just. I saw that my memoir was in there in my journal and I was like, okay, I don't care about anything else in the world. I have these two books.

[Lily Padman]

Right.

[Dax Shepard]

You idiot. Why don't you scan it? Blah, blah, blah. Why don't you bring it? I do want you to do self abuse.

[Lily Padman]

Sure. I guess I'm piling on. But I do want you to victim shaming. I'm sorry. But I really do need you to, like, back up.

[Dax Shepard]

You know, I know you can't really back up handwritten stuff.

[Lily Padman]

This is why the handwritten thing was. I mean, a Ton of stuff. But you can scan. You can scan and you should scan.

[Dax Shepard]

And that has been suggested to me many times since this event. And then I imagine myself sitting in front of a fucking copy machine and how many hours that would take. And then I have to go do my real life stuff, which is seemingly unrelenting at this moment.

[Lily Padman]

You have to squeeze in just a couple hours so that this just never happens.

[Dax Shepard]

I think that's like a six hour ordeal. Page by page.

[Lily Padman]

It's pretty. If you. There's a scan doc on your phone and you literally just take pictures.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, I'll give you 25 bucks an hour.

[Lily Padman]

I mean, I have a lot going on too, but I'll do it. Go to like 25.

[Dax Shepard]

Let's go to like, Kinko's.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

And you got the whole two pages at a time.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. All right. I guess I'm off to Kinko's.

[Lily Padman]

I should do it.

[Dax Shepard]

I haven't been in a Kinko's in a long time. Speaking of which, I don't even know that they're still around, but I hope they are. I do get about 45 minutes to an hour with Ricardo. We do go out in a Raptor and find some snowy roads and drift for a while, which is its own hilarious thing because you can't imagine how terrified he is as a passenger. If you think I'm bad, I can.

[Lily Padman]

I understand why he's in control of the car as his livelihood.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes.

[Lily Padman]

And I totally get.

[Dax Shepard]

He was screaming and I was saying to him, danny, if we crash, we're going really 20 miles an hour. Sure, the back ends all over the place because we're drifting, but we're not flying. I mean, that's just not the nature.

[Lily Padman]

That have helped you.

[Dax Shepard]

I was passenger while he did it.

[Lily Padman]

Right, but.

[Dax Shepard]

And he's not as good at it as me. Now, look, he's a much better driver than me, but I grew up in Detroit driving on snowy roads. He grew up in Australia with no snow.

[Lily Padman]

Right.

[Dax Shepard]

So I just, just think, you know, this isn't a brag. He said it. He's like, I don't like that you're better at this than me. Okay, so that's a brag, I guess, but I just, I would never come up if you didn't force me to say, like, I was tolerating him.

[Lily Padman]

He's asking because you're the one that's like, I. You can't handle being a passenger. So I'm like, would that have alleviated your fear?

[Dax Shepard]

Well, I had already worked through that. Because it started with him driving and I'm in the passenger seat and I'm like, I don't know if he's got it. You know, we might crash into a fire. Hydraulic. We might crash into whatever. And then I was like, and we're going 20 miles an hour and it's got air rags and we'll be fine.

[Lily Padman]

I have a question. Why do you feel fine when I drive you?

[Dax Shepard]

I think you're a good driver.

[Lily Padman]

That's nice.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Lily Padman]

But you think people are good drivers. That I think you still wouldn't want.

[Dax Shepard]

You're not driving aggressively.

[Lily Padman]

No.

[Dax Shepard]

You're driving completely normal. I can handle being in a car. It's. If someone's trying to show off and drive fast, I. I hate it.

[Lily Padman]

Oh, I thought the. Sometimes I think the opposite. If I'm driving you like, oh, he's going to be like, mad that I didn't.

[Dax Shepard]

You're not driving aggressively enough. No, no, no, no. I prefer. No, I like a nice, boring ride if I'm in the. If I don't have the brake pedal in front of me or the steering wheel.

[Lily Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Stay tuned for more armchair expert, if you dare. I mean, I do think you're right, though, that I think a lot of people that are into this also are terrible passengers because they love the control and they understand what the car is supposed to be doing. So when it's not doing the thing it should be doing, I think you're hyper aware of it.

[Lily Padman]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

I think to some degree if you're riding with me in this situation, you just gotta. You surrender the notion. I know what I'm doing.

[Lily Padman]

Sure.

[Dax Shepard]

Right. If you were to come on a racetrack with me, you'd be like, yeah, I guess he knows what to do.

[Lily Padman]

I would. But I'm not a driver. Like, that's the whole thing also.

[Dax Shepard]

I love that feeling. So that's the. That's the irony. I also love feeling out of control. I love it. This is when, like, we went off roading, Chris and I in Hawaii, and she drove and we were sliding down this hill. I'm like, oh, my God, we're going to go into a fucking tree. But I was just laughing uncontrollably because it does pass that point where I just have no response but to start laughing so I can enjoy it. Okay. Okay. As long as I don't think death is on the table. So that was great. That was a nice little thing. Host the event that goes well. I didn't get to hang with Verstappen like I wanted to. I met him, I shook his hand. You know, that's cool. Yeah.

[Lily Padman]

Baby steps.

[Dax Shepard]

Do the event. Blah, blah, blah. That night. Go back to the room, go to sleep. My son picks me up the next morning. And I'm gonna add one more thing that you don't care about. When I left. When I left Detroit 30 years ago, cars did not. Some cars had analog brakes. Not all of them. No cars had traction control. No cars had stability track. So what this has done to the driving in Detroit, because we were on crazy snowy roads, and every. Everyone's going 50, 60 miles an hour. No problem, because they have all this assistance now. The car, like, is very good at keeping you when you're starting to slide around. It corrects it.

[Lily Padman]

That's good.

[Dax Shepard]

So that was, like, a real adjustment. I'm like, oh, your average knucklehead is now going, what would have been insanely fast on these roads in 1994? When I left.

[Lily Padman]

Okay. That means car safety has really increased over time. I like that.

[Dax Shepard]

Go to Aaron's house. And I. Luckily, I had the kind of confidence to say to him, because normally it's like, it's party time. Let's go do this, and we'll see this person. And I go, dude, if you're up for it, man, I want to rewatch Patriot, which will be the fourth time for me, and I think the third or fourth time for him.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Wow.

[Dax Shepard]

And I want to sit on the couch. And he fucking made a fire. And we sat. My son and I sat on that couch. Monica S' Mores for nine hours. But we ordered food. It was. I can't tell you what it did to my nervous system.

[Lily Padman]

That's great.

[Dax Shepard]

To be with my love like that. We spent. We. We watched the entire first season.

[Lily Padman]

I love doing that.

[Dax Shepard]

And then the next day, we tackled the town a bit. We also. We were hanging out with his son Wade, my grandson. Y, who's so tall and handsome now.

[Lily Padman]

Do, like Wade and Groot get along because, you know, it's like two grandsons. And I don't know know if they.

[Dax Shepard]

Haven'T met, so I can't really say. Wow.

[Lily Padman]

Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. But we'll try to schedule that.

[Lily Padman]

Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

Anyways, we went to Highland House. My favorite breadsticks. And then we did our thing. We went through. We went to my old house. We went to his old house. We went to our old junior high. We went and looked at other friends houses that we missed.

[Lily Padman]

It's true. Because you don't go to Michigan a lot let's remind people that, like, it's not like you're going home once a year. I did that. When Every time I went home, like, drove by old place and you go.

[Dax Shepard]

To your childhood home.

[Lily Padman]

That's my.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Stay there.

[Lily Padman]

Yeah. But there are others that were before that. But, like, if I did that every time. That's a lot of times.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Yeah. But you.

[Lily Padman]

You don't get to do that very often. That's really nice.

[Dax Shepard]

Also, we don't recognize the town we grew up in is so nice. Like, anyone who's heard me talk about how blue collar my town was and now went there, they'd be like, he's.

[Lily Padman]

So full of liar.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, my God. There's so many beautiful houses. The downtown is, like, so storybook.

[Lily Padman]

Oh, cute.

[Dax Shepard]

They redid the little central with, like, very architectural. It's. It's unrecognizable, but it's adorable.

[Lily Padman]

Okay, so while you've been talking.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

For a while.

[Dax Shepard]

Picking things off your body.

[Lily Padman]

I've been picking off all my fingernails.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. Your Lee press on nails.

[Lily Padman]

My gel nails. And I've made a little collection here.

[Dax Shepard]

Cute little collection.

[Lily Padman]

And I'm gonna put it right here so people can see it if they want.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, great.

[Lily Padman]

And see what. What they think.

[Dax Shepard]

And I'm pretty confident you'll forget to move those to the trash can.

[Lily Padman]

And it sort of reminds me of the hair wall and the hair saga.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Lily Padman]

That we talked about. Did anyone comment about hair walls? Have you seen.

[Dax Shepard]

I haven't.

[Lily Padman]

So you watched the Patriot? I also have television news. The Pit is back, season two. And I. I got excited, obviously. I was so excited to watch it. And I turn it on. I watched the first episode. Ready for the next one? You know, I'm planning on watching like 10.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. They come out week to week.

[Lily Padman]

I forgot.

[Dax Shepard]

You forgot?

[Lily Padman]

I forgot. They come out week to week. And I got so mad, irrationally upset. Tantrum.

[Dax Shepard]

Tantrum. Yeah, we love a tantrum.

[Lily Padman]

There are certain things that trigger my tantrums. And as you know, this is one. This happened during the last dance.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Lily Padman]

Where we thought we had more, and then we didn't. So I just, like. I understand it.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Lily Padman]

But I don't like it.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Lily Padman]

I don't like waiting.

[Dax Shepard]

But it's nice that for the next two months, you have something every week you get to enjoy. That's the nice part.

[Lily Padman]

I want to know what other stuff dies, what other stuff he's gonna say. He's just so hot. You know? He's so hot. He's still so hot.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Lily Padman]

And I have an update too. Okay. Maybe like last year or something. Yeah, probably last year you said that you were getting into slippers.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, funny. I wore slippers the whole time I was at errands.

[Lily Padman]

Okay. So you were getting into slippers. And I was like.

[Dax Shepard]

But I. It didn't. Sick. I don't. I don't wear slippers at my house.

[Lily Padman]

Okay. Yeah. I haven't seen you in slippers or anything, but you. You were trying it on. Ding, ding, ding.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Lily Padman]

And I was like. Like, that's. I don't know why I think I'm.

[Dax Shepard]

Like, that's old Grandpa Grampy. Yeah.

[Lily Padman]

And after the Golden Globes at the Netflix party, they had slippers there, which I think they do at some parties.

[Dax Shepard]

For women in high heels.

[Lily Padman]

Yeah. It's like you can take them off and wear them at the party, which I didn't do.

[Dax Shepard]

Great idea.

[Lily Padman]

Great idea. But then you have to, like, hold your shoes and stuff.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Lily Padman]

Because you. As we talked about, your purse is too small to hold your shoes.

[Dax Shepard]

It's not even. It's ceremonial. The pur. Yeah.

[Lily Padman]

So I did get the slippers. I didn't wear them that day, but I was like, I'm taking my souvenir. So I got my slippers, and then they just sat in the room for a minute. I didn't. I wasn't thinking about it. And I just put my little feet in there just to see. And I've been wearing them so much.

[Dax Shepard]

You love them.

[Lily Padman]

I love them.

[Dax Shepard]

You're a Grammy.

[Lily Padman]

Yes. And it actually. Because I really don't like getting out of bed in the morning. Morning. I'm not a morning person. I have gotten myself out of bed a couple times thinking, oh, I get to put my feet in those slippers.

[Dax Shepard]

You're eventizing your wake up. Yes.

[Lily Padman]

And I can wear my slippers to go make my tea.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Lily Padman]

And it's changed everything.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, wonderful.

[Lily Padman]

I know. So I.

[Dax Shepard]

This is exciting new era for you.

[Lily Padman]

I highly recommend superhero slippers.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. The page just Patriot. I keep saying the Patriot, but it's just Patriot.

[Lily Padman]

Pit. The Pit.

[Dax Shepard]

Pit and slippers.

[Lily Padman]

So it's Patriot and the Pit.

[Dax Shepard]

Interesting.

[Lily Padman]

Yeah. That's where there's confusion. A slippers.

[Dax Shepard]

Just slippers.

[Lily Padman]

Maybe a slippers. And I. I'm really. I think this is a good omen for the year. It's a slippery year.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Great.

[Lily Padman]

So I'm happy about that.

[Dax Shepard]

Great.

[Lily Padman]

I also did something fun on Monday with our friends, the Avet brothers.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, yeah. Are you allowed to say?

[Lily Padman]

I don't know if I'm allowed to say.

[Dax Shepard]

But you did some acting. I did some acting in a Avet Brother project.

[Lily Padman]

Yes, that's right. And I had. Not. As we've. As you've talked about many times, I also haven't acted in a really long time.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Lily Padman]

And I had some. Some dialogue, and I was, like, looking at it and thinking, God, am I going to be able to remember this? Am I able to memorize this? I haven't had to do that in a really long time. Yeah, I was able to do it, thank goodness. But it is funny. It's funny. Returning back to that. And it was a really fun time. And of course, like, scene work is so fun. But yeah, there is a lot of, like, there's a lot of twiddling your thumbs. Twiddling and sitting around and waiting. And I just. I'm not used to that mode anymore at all.

[Dax Shepard]

It's a mindset. The whole time we're here, we're working.

[Lily Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

There's no moment. We're not working.

[Lily Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Unless we're taking a duty break, which.

[Lily Padman]

We'Re taking a duty break. Which you just did.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Yeah.

[Lily Padman]

If you're doing that, you know, I'm checking email or I'm editing or there's stuff to do. There's always stuff to do. And you can't really. You can do that on some sets if you go to your trailer. But I didn't have one, so I was. And then I did have a room, but it was too cold in there because, you know, I get too cold.

[Dax Shepard]

And you hadn't brought your slippers.

[Lily Padman]

Exactly. And I was also in a very specific outfit, which eventually you guys will see. Do you want me to send you a picture right now?

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, I'd love to see a picture.

[Lily Padman]

Okay. I'm sorry for the audience, but you will eventually see it. But I want to get Dax's reaction on cam, on camera.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, my hell heavens. I mean, the outfit's one thing, but the hair.

[Lily Padman]

Exactly.

[Dax Shepard]

How many days did it take them to get your hair to look like that?

[Lily Padman]

Okay. I mean, they did it quite. They did it.

[Dax Shepard]

And are you getting married in this thing?

[Lily Padman]

Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, that makes sense now. Wow.

[Lily Padman]

It's really something, huh?

[Dax Shepard]

Wow.

[Lily Padman]

Did you see it?

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Lily Padman]

I also.

[Dax Shepard]

How long did it take you to undo that? The shower? For a year.

[Lily Padman]

So I was starting and I. I kind of said this on the. An interview. We just. We just did. So spoiler, I guess. But I was finding myself, like, feeling like a real Diva. There was so much hairspray in that hair.

[Dax Shepard]

You probably took a year off your life with all the fumes.

[Lily Padman]

So much hairspray. And then continuous, you know, touch ups.

[Dax Shepard]

You forget touch ups for 12 hours.

[Lily Padman]

At one point, I said, I don't. I don't know if my hair can take any more hairspray. I also knew. I was like, it doesn't need it.

[Dax Shepard]

It's not changing.

[Lily Padman]

It's.

[Dax Shepard]

It is what it is. It's a brick.

[Lily Padman]

And, like. And I would accidentally, like, graze my hair with my hand. And it would come out. Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Break off.

[Lily Padman]

Yes. I was, like, starting to have, like, some panic about that. And then same with the makeup, because it was like, we're just, you know, a constant powdering and a painting. And I'm like, but I'm not going. I'm not gonna be in the scene for a while. So, like, we don't need to do this right now. But I can't say. I can't really say that, but I know it's true. So then there's some panic. Like, I don't want that on my face. So it. Yeah. It was like, we're so. I'm. I've become a brat. Like, we're used to being in control here. We created an environment where we have all the control.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. And it's so nice. You kind of forget how nice that is.

[Lily Padman]

I did. I mean, I did have a lot of fun, and I would definitely, like, do that again. But I was thinking, man, do I have a great job. I love my job. It's so good. And then we've had, like, multiple interviews over the past two days, especially yesterday, that I was like, oh. Oh, man, this is so good. I just am so lucky. So I. You know, and it was so. It was so weird because I obviously came here to do that job. And again, incredible job. Great job. But the fact that this other thing popped up that, in my opinion's way better, is, like, so wild and amazing. But I was also proud of myself because I was like, oh, I can, like, I can still do this. I can still memorize stuff, and I can still. And I think because we have this. Because I don't have. My life isn't riding on that being so good so that I can get more jobs. It was, like, fun and easy, and I didn't.

[Dax Shepard]

Zero expectations.

[Lily Padman]

Yeah. Like, there was a couple times I would, like, start a mon. This monologue, and then I would say, you know, oh, I'm gonna take that back. And then I would Do. I would never have done that before.

[Dax Shepard]

Right.

[Lily Padman]

I would never have felt comfortable. I would have been so in my head. Any little mistake would have made me feel like, oh, my God, like, I'm so bad. Yeah, they're gonna fire me.

[Dax Shepard]

They're regretting hiring me.

[Lily Padman]

Yes. And I was like, oh, it was just interesting. I just had such a different mindset that I think makes you better. But of course, you can't get there without it.

[Dax Shepard]

Like, it's a very mental job.

[Lily Padman]

It is so.

[Dax Shepard]

So much about. Is like, what?

[Lily Padman]

Yeah, yeah, so much so. But there was a really. There's a really cool aspect of this acting job. Job, again, that people will see that it's so unique and cool that doesn't involve me, but just, like, with part of their whole thing. And it's really amazing. But, yeah, so. So I just. I was grateful for. For doing it. I was grateful for our job.

[Dax Shepard]

Those are good. Those are good.

[Lily Padman]

You know, one thing I didn't. I guess this is like, a complaint, but I had a tampon in for 13 hours.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, toxic shocks.

[Lily Padman]

And I was also like. So then I was kind of panicking about that, because as time was passing, I was like, I have this tampon in, and I don't want to go take it out because I was in this wedding dress, and, you know, you're miked up, and it's connected to your underwear. So, like, that's. And I was like, I'm just leaving it in. In.

[Dax Shepard]

Sure. We're gonna have to roll the dice.

[Lily Padman]

My probiotics are working really tired today.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, I think I might have. You've taken it out by now, I hope.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Yeah.

[Lily Padman]

I wrote it in my calendar because I was afraid I was gonna forget, But I took it out, and I think I'm okay, but I couldn't wear my Nixies because it was a white wedding dress.

[Dax Shepard]

Sure, sure, sure.

[Lily Padman]

I was like, brides have to wear. That's a lot.

[Dax Shepard]

I bet brides are real bummed if they're on their period during their wedding day.

[Lily Padman]

But it happens.

[Dax Shepard]

You can'. You don't pick it.

[Lily Padman]

Was there anything else? Okay, Slippers. The pit. These are the things I write down. Oh, oh, oh. Facts.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, yeah, I remember those.

[Lily Padman]

Oh, my God. I'm.

[Dax Shepard]

This for Marcelo.

[Lily Padman]

Yes, Marcelo.

[Dax Shepard]

What a joy.

[Lily Padman]

We just loved him. Oh, my God. Ding, ding, ding. Huge dingles for my first fact. So we played a game. Me and you and Marcelo played a game where we said a word. And then because he said, what do you think of when you think. When you hear, Randall? And then we all said it.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Lily Padman]

And then we did it one more time. Lily.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Lily Padman]

And I said, pond. I said pond. And he said frog or something. You said, like, feminine product.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Lily Padman]

Feminine hygiene or something.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, Feminine hygiene.

[Lily Padman]

You said something like that. And then we were like.

[Dax Shepard]

You guys were embarrassed for me.

[Lily Padman]

Yeah, well, it was just like, you're not on the same page.

[Dax Shepard]

And you thought it showed my age and perversion. There was a lot baked into.

[Lily Padman]

Yeah, and then you're like, no, because the smell. Like, Lily. Like, they want to smell.

[Dax Shepard]

They always have them in the commercials. It feels like lilacs and lilies.

[Lily Padman]

And so then I. So the. The first fact I looked up was most popular scents for feminine products.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay.

[Lily Padman]

Okay. The most popular scents for feminine products center on fresh, clean florals. Rose, jasmine, warm vanilla. I don't. I've never experienced that. Subtle musk and sweet fruits, Berries, peach. Creating an alluring, soft, comforting aura often found in bet. God damn it. Bestselling perfumes.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, you really. The bed on this one. I was like, I don't know about musk. I don't think anyone's going for musk during that period. What the. I need a nice, musky.

[Lily Padman]

AI doesn't understand feminine products. They think. Oh, they think anything that has to do.

[Dax Shepard]

Well. Yeah. Feminine hygiene. Oh, I think hygiene's the operative word.

[Lily Padman]

Fine, let me type that.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, I see.

[Lily Padman]

What products. If it says Lily, I'd be so pissed.

[Dax Shepard]

It might.

[Lily Padman]

No, it doesn't. Okay. In 2020, four, popular feminine hygiene scents leaning towards fresh, clean and naturally comforting profiles with light florals. Jasmine.

[Dax Shepard]

I mean, hold on one second. You must admit that lilies is in light florals.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

No.

[Dax Shepard]

Why? What is your argument? What's your present? Your case?

[Lily Padman]

It says life Light florals. Jasmine. No, it has. It says. It parentheses. Jasmine, Peony, Rose.

[Dax Shepard]

Now it's just improv. And though it's like. It's all the. What it associates with.

[Lily Padman]

No, listen, this also says subtle fruits. It also says vanilla and skin scents. Musk, amber, sandalwoods.

[Dax Shepard]

Guys, I mean.

[Lily Padman]

Oh, one thing says green tea.

[Dax Shepard]

This is Lily, right? Lily's was the lily. Are there any Lily scented feminine hygiene products on the market? Question mark. Searching for feminine hygiene products with Lily scent. Yes, there are feminine hygiene intimate wash products on the market that feature Lily or Lily of the Valley scent.

[Lily Padman]

Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

Often blended with other floral notes. I could read you the brands of them. Ziaja, Lily of the Valley, Intimate Hygiene Gel.

[Lily Padman]

Zyaja.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Intimate wash by White Lily White Lily Gynocure Lily Women Cleanser. Delicate Flower Intimate Lady Wash.

[Lily Padman]

Okay, so these are all wash. Summer's Eves has one.

[Dax Shepard]

That's the standard. That's the gold standard.

[Lily Padman]

Okay, so those are washes. Okay. Pads and tampons and stuff. Okay. Most popular scented pads generally feature light color, cleaner, floral scent.

[Dax Shepard]

Like musk, vanilla.

[Lily Padman]

Chocolate, cocoa, lavender, and aloe. Lavender. Yes. That is something they kind of try to add in.

[Dax Shepard]

Lavender is huge.

[Lily Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Lily Padman]

But not Lily. Oh, Honey pot. All right, well, I prefer neutral scent. Just saying.

[Dax Shepard]

I mean that.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Well, yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

I mean, the funny thing is, is, like, don't they know, like, for us guys, like, there's nothing that can keep us away, you know, you don't need to worry too much.

[Lily Padman]

I thought you were gonna say, like, it's all that. You still smell it.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, well, you know, that might also be true. And we don't give a fuck.

[Lily Padman]

Okay. Did Obama go to Beggars Can't Be Choosers? Did Obama go to Occidental College? Yeah, he went there, and then he went to Columbia, and then he went to Harvard.

[Dax Shepard]

This guy was bouncing around like a basketball. Like a door too Salesman. Pot and pan salesman.

[Lily Padman]

Okay. He said this was really cute. He said he pulled a Troy Bolton when he was dealing with soccer and, like, comedy.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Uhhuh.

[Lily Padman]

And I didn't know what that meant. Did you? Okay. And we wouldn't. You know why? Because he's the protagonist of a High School Musical.

[Dax Shepard]

Boom. Okay, great.

[Lily Padman]

That's a great thought.

[Dax Shepard]

It was a sports reference. And so I just, as a man, had to act like I knew that player. Like, oh, of course.

[Lily Padman]

He's like BoJack High School Musical, I guess he was a basketball player. That's right, Basketball player. And I assume in the High School Musical, okay, He said that when he was growing up and they. They called him. They called parties, like hangouts, like Gettys. We thought that was cool. That was new to us.

[Dax Shepard]

You cannot imagine how many times I have thought so since we interviewed him. Because I'm going to Miami to shoot, and I have thought, I'm going to reach out to Marcel and see. Are there any Gettys happening while I'm there? I want to see the Gettys firsthand.

[Lily Padman]

Do you think he's still in the scene?

[Dax Shepard]

No, I don't. That's why I have yet to do it. But I have had the impulse that, like, wow, I might have an invitation to a Getty through him. And I want to see everything in life. So just pictures. 51 year old rolling into the Getty.

[Lily Padman]

It's just a hangout out, though. Then he said, oh, we were making a whole to do about Gettys because we'd never heard of that. And he said, what do they call it now? And I was like, parties, I think. And.

[Dax Shepard]

Or he said.

[Lily Padman]

He said kickbacks. And I was like, no, I've never heard that.

[Dax Shepard]

That's what you do when you want to land an account and you pay the purchasing agent some side money.

[Lily Padman]

That's right.

[Dax Shepard]

That's a kickback.

[Lily Padman]

Exactly. But then I did Google. What does Jen, Gen Z call parties? Gen Z doesn't have one single slang word for party, but uses terms like kickback.

[Dax Shepard]

Huh.

[Lily Padman]

Hang out, get together, or rager.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. Those are standard.

[Lily Padman]

But not kickbacks. Was in there.

[Marcelo Hernandez]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

I'm saying the others.

[Lily Padman]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Raider's been around forever.

[Lily Padman]

I know. Major rager for larger events, focusing more on vibes, wellness, and smaller gatherings like, quote, soft clubbing, quote, house parties, or quote, unquote, Live Chill. Ew. Live Chill is an online hangout.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh. Although we were just talking about how Anna has online hangouts with her family, and those do look really fun.

[Lily Padman]

That's different. That's a family hang Chitchat. Yeah, I don't think that's a live chill.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay.

[Lily Padman]

All right. That's all those.

[Dax Shepard]

Those are great.

[Lily Padman]

I love him.

[Dax Shepard]

I love him too. He's so cute.

[Lily Padman]

It was so funny.

[Dax Shepard]

I was saying it's when I left, I was like, I love when people are still hungry. It's so infectious. Like, he want. He said it like, I want to do good.

[Lily Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

I love that. When you go do stuff, you should want to do good. It's a shame that some people lose that. Yeah, yeah. It's great.

[Lily Padman]

It's really true. But he's young and vibrant. He's on snl and he's cute. He's got that smart girlfriend.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Friends, Good work. I love you.

[Lily Padman]

Love you.