Mom's Car: Kristen Bell

Summary

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Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard <br> Episode Title: Mom's Car: Kristen Bell <br> Date: August 26, 2025

Episode Overview

In this intimate, playful episode of “Mom’s Car,” Dax Shepard is joined by his wife, actress Kristen Bell, and close friend Aaron, for a ride-along conversation centered around cars, relationships, nostalgia, vulnerability, and life transitions. The trio’s chemistry and long-held friendships lend to candid stories and debates—from Kristen’s love for her Chevy Bolt to the complexities of emotional growth, parenting milestones, and moral dilemmas. Listeners are treated to both laughter and heartfelt reflection, with practical takeaways for anyone facing major life changes or pondering the woolliness of being human.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Kristen’s Chevy Bolt Love Affair

• Kristen’s Choice of Car

  • Kristen prefers her Chevy Bolt for its size and ease of use, despite the opportunity to drive any car she wants.
    • “She’s small enough for me to park anywhere I want on your lawn if I so desire… If I drive an SUV, I’m always a little scared I’m gonna kiss the curbs. Mainly. ‘Cause I’ll kiss the curbs.” (Kristen, 01:21)
  • She values the Bolt’s “tactile” feel and simplicity over flashier or more tech-heavy vehicles.
    • “I don’t want to drive the Starship Enterprise. I have no interest in that. I want a car that’s tactile, that has buttons that I can push and that does what I want it to do with muscle memory.” (Kristen, 07:43)

• Emotional Attachment & Backup Plan

  • When rumors spread about the Bolt’s discontinuation, Kristen admitted considering hoarding more, drawing a charming parallel to buying back-ups of perfect jeans.
    • “If you find the perfect pair of jeans, you get them in another color.” (Kristen, 08:41)

Playful Digression: Car vs. Bus Width Debate

• The trio humorously debates the comparative width and spaciousness of cars and buses, citing personal experiences and Googling specs live.
  • “Where’s the extra three feet inside? If we were on a bus, there’d be two other people over there.” (Dax, 03:22)
  • “What is the width of a city bus?... 96.4 inches.… So, 30.5 inches [wider than the Bolt].” (Kristen, 04:44–05:17)

Relationship Dynamics, Nostalgia, and Friendship

• Dax, Aaron, and Kristen Discuss Friendship Roots

  • Kristen reflects on Dax’s steadfast loyalty to Aaron, seeing it as evidence of the depth of his heart.
    • “What it read to me was that you, you are a fiercely loyal person and actually have way more of an open heart than you advertised because you had found another person who... you just loved this other person as a soulmate.” (Kristen, 10:31)
  • Childhood memories are shared, such as passing quirky notes in sixth-grade classes and bonding over vulnerable childhood admissions (e.g., Aaron’s family life, the story of lost kittens).
  • Aaron’s early vulnerability with Dax is highlighted as a foundational moment for their friendship and for embracing emotional honesty.
    • “See, that’s how... I was that comfortable with you.” (Aaron, 13:06)

• Emotional Growth and Influence

  • Dax credits Kristen for modeling healthy emotional vulnerability.
    • “I would have never had the confidence to embrace that side of myself publicly if you didn’t enter the picture.” (Dax, 20:33)
  • Kristen normalizes frequent emotional expression.
    • “Cause I cry all the time and I make it seem so normal.” (Kristen, 20:36)

Parenting, Letting Go, & Sobriety: Letter from a Listener

• The Challenge of Facing an Empty Nest
  • Listener (Mallory) writes in about her fear of loneliness and identity loss as her daughter prepares to leave home—particularly in the context of being a sober parent.
  • The group offers honest, empathetic advice:
    • Aaron: Accepting lost years and self-forgiveness are vital.
      • “You have to forgive yourself, I’d imagine… you just have to accept it.” (Aaron, 32:20)
    • Kristen: Life is cyclical; it’s important to embrace new phases and nurture yourself with other passions or communities.
      • “How many bags do I want to carry around in life?... When my kids go to college, I don’t want to carry around the bags full of this empty feeling… preparing yourself by way of looking at life as a cycle has really helped me.” (Kristen, 35:37)
    • Dax: Start developing new hobbies and connections before the transition happens.
      • “My main suggestion is to not wait until your daughter’s left… really commit to signing up for some things before she leaves.” (Dax, 40:00)
    • Kristen (on modeling recovery): “The gift is yours to give again... I’m not saying adopt a toddler... but I’m seeing a dog.” (Kristen, 40:30)
    • Dax: “I don’t think you can underestimate the power of modeling a comeback… I was very lucky in that my dad was already an addict and had already gotten sober. He had shown me the roadmap.” (Dax, 40:49)

Everyday Cynicism vs. Optimism

• The hosts discuss how their views of strangers reveal inner self-talk:
  • Kristen assumes people are good and busy, shaping her interactions.
    • “That’s the exact influence I need in my life… the benefit of being a good person is you assume everyone else is a good person.” (Dax, summarized, 24:17–24:44)
  • Dax and Aaron jokingly view themselves and others as “lazy pieces of shit,” acknowledging that loving themselves more has increased their benefit-of-doubt for others.

Moral Dumbfounding: The Secret Affair (Jonathan Haidt Scenario)

• Moral Dilemma: Is it wrong if a happily married person has a one-night stand (with no consequences or change in the relationship)?
  • Dax: Not a problem for him unless guilt broke the relationship.
    • “My issue with an affair would not be that you had sex with somebody. My potential issue… you’d be overcome with guilt. It would impact how you treated me.” (Dax, 45:59)
  • Kristen: Echoes this, noting her perspective has evolved.
    • “When I met you, I was a very jealous person and I was bending to the subconscious rules society had given me… You asked me… would you rather if I slept with someone versus if I drove our kids drunk?… If you had an affair, I feel like we could get through that. If you drove my kids drunk… there’s no circumstance in which I would allow you around the kids…” (Kristen, 47:16)
  • Aaron: Agrees that real-world guilt would prevent the scenario from being consequence-free. Openness in relationships is only possible with strong internal confidence and unique personality fit.

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Notable Quotes & Moments with Timestamps

• Kristen on Why She Loves Her Bolt:
  • “She wasn’t born a beauty queen… I don’t mind scratching her up.” (01:45)
• Car Detailer Nostalgia:
  • “As two previous car detailers…” (Dax, 02:02)
• On Parenting and Backups:
  • “Should we have three Bolts in the driveway?” (Dax, 07:53)
• Kristen on Emotional Phases:
  • “How many bags do I want to carry around in life?... When my kids go to college, I don’t want to carry around the bags full of this empty feeling… I think preparing yourself by way of looking at life as a cycle has really helped me.” (35:37)
• On Forgiveness and Moving On:
  • “You have to forgive yourself, I’d imagine… you just have to accept it.” (Aaron, 32:20)
• Modeling a Comeback:
  • “I don’t think you can underestimate the power of modeling a comeback… My dad was already an addict and had already gotten sober. He had shown me the roadmap…” (Dax, 40:49)
• Dax on Vulnerability and Kristen’s Influence:
  • “I would have never had the confidence to embrace that side of myself publicly if you didn’t enter the picture.” (Dax, 20:33)
• On Jealousy and Relationship Security:
  • “This is the only relationship in my life that I don’t play that scenario out ever… I am so comfortable in my relationship it doesn’t ever cross my mind.” (Aaron, 51:24)
• Kristen on Accepting Life Phases:
  • “It’s so hard for humans to be okay with going into a different phase. And that’s the hump… Just be accepting of the next phase of your life is happening. And now you’re gonna have to still be her rock at home when she calls home. But you are going to have to find other things to nurture.” (Kristen, 35:55)
• On Parenting as Identity:
  • “The biggest chunk of my identity is now the father of Lincoln and Delta. It’s 80% of what I think I am. So, yeah, it’s gonna be really wild to not have a daily responsibility or commitment to them… I think I’m going to be very sad that I don’t hear them in the house.” (Dax, 38:09)

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Memorable Interactions

• A Listener is Surprised by Kristen Bell Delivering Food (29:03)
  • Kristen and Dax meet a food delivery customer. Kristen excitedly offers to take a selfie with the surprised recipient.
• Joking About Moral Dilemmas (45:18 and onward)
  • The trio banter about a hypothetical monogamy violation with much laughter, candid honesty, and clear evidence of deep mutual trust.

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Suggested Timestamps for Key Segments

• [01:21] Kristen discusses her love for the Bolt and reasons for practicality over luxury.
• [07:17] Kristen’s emotional reaction to the Bolt being discontinued—backup strategy.
• [10:31] Kristen on Dax’s deep loyalty and her perception of his friendship with Aaron.
• [20:33] Dax on how Kristen helped him embrace vulnerability.
• [32:11] Mallory’s letter about sobriety and empty nest—advice discussion.
• [35:37] Kristen on embracing and visualizing life’s phases.
• [40:00] Dax and group: practical advice for life transitions.
• [45:18] Moral Dumbfounding: The Secret Affair scenario—a revealing, lighthearted group analysis.

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Tone and Style

The conversation is lighthearted, self-deprecating, and both deeply personal and openly playful—exactly the style fans expect from Dax Shepard and Kristen Bell. The trio’s willingness to poke fun at each other, interrogate their own assumptions, and share their vulnerabilities makes for a memorable and meaningful listen.

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For listeners, this episode is a warm, insightful blend of car talk, nostalgia, candid relationship wisdom, and support for anyone navigating parenthood, change, or their own emotional landscape.

Transcript

[Dax Shepard]

Hello, and welcome to Mom's Car. Not my mom's car, but my children's mom's car. Today we have very fittingly, as she was the first guest ever on Armchair Expert. My beloved wife, the queen of all queens, Kristen Bell. I mean, I really need to say it, but Frozen. And Nobody wants this. And Die Hard And Legends of the Fall and Jaws. Please enjoy Kristen Bell.

[Commercial Announcer]

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[Dax Shepard]

I want people to know how much you love this car. You could drive any kind of car you wanted. And obviously, as a car lover, I would always want to buy you a very nice car. But tell me about your car a little bit.

[Kristen Bell]

Anyone who sees you in this little hot rod knows they're horny, that everybody likes it. Well, I'll tell you why I like it. She's small enough for me to park anywhere I want on your lawn if I so desire. I feel good about zipping around town. I don't feel tight or invasive. If I drive an suv, I'm always a little scared I'm gonna kiss the curbs. Mainly. Cause I'll kiss the curbs.

[Dax Shepard]

Sure, sure.

[Kristen Bell]

She wasn't born a beauty queen. Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

The bolt.

[Kristen Bell]

No.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay.

[Kristen Bell]

I don't mind scratching her up. Look at the ceiling. Lincoln once tried to clean it and then never wiped the cleaner off the ceiling. It almost looks like white splatter paint.

[Dax Shepard]

It looks like she used to try to clean it.

[Kristen Bell]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

As two previous car detailers. That looks like someone. Definitely.

[Kristen Bell]

There's a huge scratch back here, which I don't know if one of our daughters owns some sort of a blade.

[Dax Shepard]

She's bringing a blade to school.

[Aaron]

You would never know how compact the car actually is by sitting in it.

[Dax Shepard]

It's spacious.

[Aaron]

It's the roomiest. And then you look at it outside, and it's a little.

[Dax Shepard]

It might be part of the sim. Cute baby. Have you seen. This is a really good sim. Gif. Gif.

[Kristen Bell]

Jeff.

[Dax Shepard]

Jeff.

[Aaron]

Jeff.

[Dax Shepard]

A city bus is the same width as a car. They're in the same lane. Maybe it's six inches wider. Why is there two seats? A hallway and two seats on the left when we're touching shoulders.

[Aaron]

Oh, my God.

[Kristen Bell]

I don't think it's the same. I see your point, But I don't think it's the same width.

[Aaron]

But it's only.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, you'd agree. We're taking up 80% of the width of this lane. And then a bus is maybe taking up.

[Kristen Bell]

No. Cause look at the car in front of us. That car is taking up 65%. 60%.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. Well, I do know the width of a bus offhand, because we have one. Yeah. I think it's 102 inches.

[Kristen Bell]

We should measure this car and see the difference.

[Dax Shepard]

We could chat it.

[Aaron]

So this is the same size as your bus.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, it's like a foot.

[Aaron]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

And that's fine. I'll give it a foot, honey. But where's the extra three feet inside? If we were on a bus, There'd be two other people over there.

[Aaron]

And glasses on to see you in between.

[Kristen Bell]

A bus is like this much. Barely for your hips. No, it's not three feet.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, hon, there's two seats. There's a hallway. Then there's two seats across the hallway.

[Kristen Bell]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

And look at aaron. And I imagine there's a hallway next to him. And then Aaron and I are over there.

[Kristen Bell]

Yeah. I just don't think bus seats Are that roomy.

[Dax Shepard]

They're not as roomy as this. But just imagine getting two more people In a hallway within an extra foot of this seat.

[Kristen Bell]

I understand the concept.

[Dax Shepard]

But you do reject it wholeheartedly.

[Kristen Bell]

I don't think it's proof of this sim. No.

[Dax Shepard]

It's not the least bit confusing to you?

[Kristen Bell]

I'm googling the width of a chevy bolt. I have a bolt, not a voltage.

[Dax Shepard]

Do you have chat on your phone?

[Kristen Bell]

Yeah. 69. Yeah. 0.5 inches.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay.

[Kristen Bell]

69.5.

[Dax Shepard]

70 inches.

[Kristen Bell]

Hold on. If we're gonna be accurate, you, can't start saying 70. I said 69.5.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay.

[Kristen Bell]

What is the width of a city bus?

[Aaron]

70 inches.

[Dax Shepard]

68Ft.

[Kristen Bell]

4 inches.

[Dax Shepard]

So 96.

[Kristen Bell]

What is 8ft? Point 4 inches? 96.4 inches.

[Aaron]

100.

[Kristen Bell]

100.

[Dax Shepard]

Oops. Oh, that was embarrassing. I was caught on camera Doing the math wrong.

[Kristen Bell]

What?

[Aaron]

I don't know. Driving in the same lane.

[Kristen Bell]

Minus 69.5.

[Dax Shepard]

Hold on though. Was eight feet. Yeah.

[Aaron]

Yeah.

[Kristen Bell]

Eight feet.

[Dax Shepard]

That's 0.4 or 8 foot 4 inches.

[Kristen Bell]

Four. Eight foot four.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. 96 plus 4. I stand so 100. So it's 30. 30 point.

[Kristen Bell]

69.5.

[Dax Shepard]

30.5 inches.

[Kristen Bell]

Yeah. Which is.

[Dax Shepard]

Which is less than three feet. It's two and a half feet exactly.

[Kristen Bell]

Look at the car in front of us. There is easily two and a half feet if you combine both sides.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, hold on one second though, my love. Okay, 30 inches is two and a half feet. So if you added two and a half feet in here.

[Kristen Bell]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

That would get you maybe the hallway.

[Kristen Bell]

I see. You're asking me to picture the inside of the bus.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes.

[Kristen Bell]

You know what our problem is and why Larry Mantle would poke a Swiss cheese sized hole in this story.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Kristen Bell]

When's the last time you were on a city bus?

[Dax Shepard]

Hour and a half ago.

[Kristen Bell]

No. And you need to be on a city bus to really see if it's as spacious as we think.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, all I do know for certain, and I know you would agree, it's two seats, a hallway, two seats. We were on those buses in Norway.

[Commercial Announcer]

We drove all around those mountain roads.

[Dax Shepard]

And we're in two captain's chairs and there's a hallway and then two captain's chairs. So I'm just curious how you put two more captain's chairs in a hallway in two and a half feet.

[Kristen Bell]

Understood.

[Aaron]

The airport shuttle from LAX to the Uber lot is like people on both sides, luggage everywhere. In a really wide hallway.

[Dax Shepard]

A hallway, you can bring your roll on bag.

[Kristen Bell]

Are you thinking of a school bus? Because oftentimes, or sometimes I believe the buses, the seats face horizontally, not vertically. They facing each other.

[Dax Shepard]

You've been on a bus where they're facing each other?

[Kristen Bell]

Yeah, on the airport shuttle.

[Aaron]

You're right.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, airport shuttle.

[Aaron]

Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes. I've been in both and I think they often have both things.

[Kristen Bell]

Do you take the airport shuttle a lot?

[Aaron]

Yeah, to work every morning.

[Dax Shepard]

Dtw.

[Kristen Bell]

Have you been on a city bus recently?

[Aaron]

No, I haven't.

[Dax Shepard]

Right. Like a metro line. Okay. Back to how much you love this car though, because I think one of the cutest things you've ever done, honey, is that we were on a hike and you had heard terrible news that they were discontinuing the bolt. You were panicked. And what did you ask me on the hike?

[Kristen Bell]

I said, should we get another one?

[Aaron]

Oh, wait, how many?

[Dax Shepard]

I remember it as. Should we get a couple backups?

[Kristen Bell]

Should we get maybe I said one or two backups, but I just got nervous that if they don't make it anymore, I don't want a new fancy, I don't want to drive the Starship Enterprise. I have no interest in that. I want a car that's tactile, that has buttons that I can push and that does what I want it to do with muscle memory and I said, should we grab a backup or two before?

[Dax Shepard]

Should we have three bullets in the driveway? Do you remember when I said you?

[Kristen Bell]

No. You said, no, you're stupid.

[Dax Shepard]

Why did I marry you? Stop talking on this hike. Well, I pointed out, and here we are now, a year and a half after that conversation, in this car I'm looking at. The odometer has 21,500 miles on it. And at the time of the conversation, the car had about 15,000 miles on it, and it was three years old. And I said, well, love, I think you're gonna be driving that same bolt for another 15 to 20 years. At the rate of mileage you're putting on it, it's definitely gonna go 150,000 miles.

[Kristen Bell]

And that made me feel a lot safer.

[Dax Shepard]

Felt good.

[Kristen Bell]

I don't know. What if somebody steals it?

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, you were thinking of it, like, as a great pair of shoes or any kind of fashion item.

[Kristen Bell]

If you find the perfect pair of jeans, you get them in another color.

[Dax Shepard]

Get some backups. Get some.

[Kristen Bell]

Have you ever done that, Erin?

[Dax Shepard]

Duplicate?

[Aaron]

I have.

[Kristen Bell]

Do you remember? With what?

[Aaron]

A pair of kangaroos? And I used paper out money. They said they were going out of business. They were, like, eight bucks.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, my God.

[Aaron]

At some store in Milford. So, yeah, when I was a kid, I did. But I hear about this all the time. I know Ruthie will do that. I don't think I love anything enough to get two of right now.

[Dax Shepard]

I'm gonna tell you what I love enough. I love my cute wife so much. Oh, you want to, Because I'm gonna be transparent. I said, hey, today when we're doing our interview, would you ask Aaron a lot of questions? Because I feel like he has sometimes left out. And it just hit me how absolutely sweet and cute it is that you're doing it. Honey, look at me. I love you. I love you. Did you ever do that, Erin, that was so sweet.

[Aaron]

There she goes.

[Kristen Bell]

Look, I'm no Larry Mantle, and I'll give it a shot.

[Dax Shepard]

There's nowhere Larry Mantle's collecting Chevy bolts, eating a step stool to kiss your ass. Before you met Aaron, and you had only heard stories that I told you early in our relationship, what had you pictured? Versus?

[Kristen Bell]

I thought they'd definitely have hooked up. It's not for sure.

[Aaron]

That's not uncommon.

[Dax Shepard]

To think that actually, I'd be worried about you if you didn't think that. As, you know, my mom's. She even said at one point, I think I told you, right.

[Aaron]

That she was okay with it.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, like, since she had come in and we were snuggling in my room, as we would do, and she was like, yeah, I guess my assumption was, sure, he was trying. That you thought we were up there, but I don't know why I thought that was so crazy. She thought that we were snuggling.

[Kristen Bell]

I think my assumption actually, there weren't assumptions. What I digested from the stories you told me about Aaron. And again, I didn't know Aaron yet, so I couldn't come to many conclusions about him. But what it read to me was that you, you are a fiercely loyal person and actually have way more of an open heart than you advertised because you had found another person who. The way you talked about you guys and all the mistakes you've made and the raucous you've produced around town, that you just loved this other person as a soulmate. There's something really, really beautiful about loving someone that deep and not being flippant in your friendship connections. Aaron's my ride or die. Whether I talk to him every day or once a year. I thought it was really sweet.

[Dax Shepard]

I could imagine where you might have had a much different picture of who he was. Cause of course, I'm telling you the craziest stories about us every time I'm talking. Like, I'm wondering if when you met him, did you go like, oh, wow, he's so much sweeter than I was expecting. I think that's a kind of common reaction to Aaron if I've told a bunch of stories.

[Kristen Bell]

Yeah, he was always so well rounded in how he spoke about you. Cause he always was like, oh, Aaron was the kid the cutest. The cutest. All the girls liked him. He was the nicest boy in his.

[Aaron]

Sweetie, you know what gets left out a lot is the size of this guy's heart and the love he showed. I know he talks about me so much, but I can put it in perspective. This is how I felt in seventh grade, the first time he came to my house. And I think you were giving me something to take to camp.

[Dax Shepard]

A duffel bag.

[Aaron]

A duffel bag. I felt like one of those dogs that were like. Like, why is someone about to be nice to me?

[Dax Shepard]

And I'm like, I like shaky.

[Aaron]

And I'm like, oh, he is nice.

[Dax Shepard]

He's being nice.

[Aaron]

He's nice. He's not judging me or doing anything but being nice.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, I asked Aaron. We had a class together. We had Mr. Nelson's class. That's where we really fell in love. Drawing pictures back and Forth. And then I asked him, are you gonna go to the seventh grade camp trip? Thinking, of course he's gonna go, and this is gonna be a great time for us to really develop our friendship. And then he said he wasn't going. I think this was so vulnerable of you and probably the start of the whole vulnerability thing. I don't know how you found the confidence to tell me you didn't wanna go. Cause you only had trash bags. Yeah. Do you remember that was the reason you didn't wanna go. Embarrassing.

[Aaron]

See, that's how beau I was that comfortable with you.

[Kristen Bell]

You also told me all the heartfelt stories about Aaron and his upbringing and the kittens.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, my God. Should we talk about the kittens?

[Kristen Bell]

It's too dark, I think. I think it might be too dark. To witness that and not be completely scarred by any adult you ever run into for the rest of your life is beyond me.

[Dax Shepard]

I think I can maybe do a really safe version to just say there were a bunch of cats born kittens who all had leuke, and a very, very, very, very drunk, mean caretaker male decided to handle this situation with his bare hands in one fell swoop in front of us.

[Kristen Bell]

Sure, I'm so glad you guys can laugh about that. But also, I one time stepped on a slug when I was 16 on accident. I cried for about 30 minutes and I buried it in a matchbox in my backyard. So if I had seen kittens, I couldn't go back to school again. It'd be so much grief that I wasn't ready to handle. But, Aaron, what did you think of Dax when you first met him? What was your read on him? Cause he talks about himself in middle school, which is where you guys met. Yeah, yeah. Sixth grade as his peak. That he was really hitting it hard.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Aaron]

Middle school felt like it was 20 years long.

[Kristen Bell]

Was he a stud? Was he as much of a stud as he says he was?

[Aaron]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Oh, absolutely. Yeah.

[Aaron]

He was so cool and exerted a lot of confidence on the outside. But I felt that maybe that confidence wasn't as confident as he made it out to be. And I just wanted to embrace him.

[Dax Shepard]

Our very first conversation was in the bathroom in the sixth grade hallway.

[Kristen Bell]

The bathroom was in the hallway.

[Dax Shepard]

There's a sixth grade hallway. And then it has its own bathroom. People perverted 8th grader boys out of there.

[Aaron]

Dax came in and said, and of course, when I say it, I mean, we're 11.

[Dax Shepard]

But he's like, are you wearing Weekly?

[Aaron]

No. He's like, are you, Aaron Weekly? And I was like, fuck. All I can remember is being in a moment. Like, I just need to be left alone.

[Dax Shepard]

I was a new kid.

[Aaron]

He looked cool. Cool haircut. And I just thought, why? What's going on? Leave me the pocket lock. But we had a friend, Kevin Gwynn. And Kevin said, look me up.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Kevin was my best friend in sixth grade at the old sixth grade at Highland Junior High. And he said, oh, when you get to Muir, you gotta meet my friend Aaron. He's the coolest dude. He was explaining how cool he was. And Kevin was super cool. He had a crazy haircut and skateboarded. So I'm kind of like, keep my eyes out for, like, the coolest dude in the school. Then I asked around, and then I figured out who it was, and then I somehow found him. And Aaron was a little bit nervous, I think.

[Kristen Bell]

Did you shake hand or anything? Or were you just like, I'm Dax.

[Dax Shepard]

I'm Dax.

[Aaron]

It wasn't Stacks. I'm here to rule?

[Dax Shepard]

No, I was just like, kevin told me to say hi to you. And then maybe Aaron just thought, mission accomplished. Like, I said hi on Kevin's behalf and that was gonna be the end of it. And then, as luck would have it, then the first class I had of seventh grade was this. Mr. Nelson's history. Was it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we were seated right next to each other. Not sure how the ballsack cowboy pictures started, but they started right away, real fast. That's an interest thing for us to do right out of the gate, right?

[Kristen Bell]

Oh, you created that together.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes.

[Aaron]

And we started passing notes.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Kristen Bell]

Written or just drawings?

[Aaron]

There were drawings with situations, I guess, like with the little bubble of someone was saying something on it. But not notes like, I love you.

[Dax Shepard]

Hi. I'm in love with you.

[Aaron]

I love that you're my friend.

[Dax Shepard]

So I brought that duffel bag over. That was the first time I went over to Aaron's house. Then he came to seventh grade camp, and you could be in two different bunk houses. And I was like, okay, Aaron's gonna be in mine with Jack, who ultimately, the three of us were all best friends, who was crazy and wild. And Aaron stayed in our bunk, but Aaron went to sleep every night pretty early before we went out and got. We didn't party yet, but, Mom, I.

[Aaron]

Have to tell you, to be away from my house for a few days. It was nice to get rest.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Aaron]

Without having any worries of falling asleep.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Aaron]

Sad as that sounds.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. You really find the fun in it ultimately, though, Right? This one Time in particular is one of my favorite memories we have is Butch was the man's name. He was annihilated at like 4pm on a Thursday. And we were in Aaron's trailer and he always claimed to have been an incredible pitcher when he was a kid. And he struck out Kirk Gibson, who's a Detroit hero and, you know, he's a legend in his own mind. And he wanted to play catch with Aaron and I with a wet washcloth.

[Aaron]

This was an attempt at a father.

[Dax Shepard]

Son catch that would get you guys closer.

[Aaron]

Yeah, that's how I felt like this is gonna be like father son bonding.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, his intentions were much. He was tossing it to us, and we were throwing it as hard as we could at his face. And he was so hammered. It was hitting him in the face. Every single time we threw it at him.

[Aaron]

His face was all wilted up.

[Dax Shepard]

We played this game of catch for like 40 minutes, and we were just chucking it as hard as we could.

[Kristen Bell]

It was a wet washcloth.

[Dax Shepard]

You keep wetting it down.

[Aaron]

We were like throwing our shoulders out and we were throwing it so hard.

[Dax Shepard]

And laughing and staring like he was having a great time.

[Aaron]

It was the most fun I ever had with him.

[Kristen Bell]

And you were a really good ballplayer.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, yeah.

[Aaron]

That's why he always wanted to bond.

[Dax Shepard]

Not always wanted to bond, but intermittently.

[Aaron]

That's where the bond was gonna come from if it was gonna happen over baseball with a wet washcloth. But yeah.

[Kristen Bell]

You didn't have a ball.

[Aaron]

Oh, no.

[Dax Shepard]

I wish we would have had a ball. We would have killed him. Throwing a baseball in his face over and over and over again.

[Aaron]

Maybe he kind of knew that.

[Dax Shepard]

You read that?

[Aaron]

No.

[Kristen Bell]

There are some cute restaurants and shops here.

[Dax Shepard]

We're going to New York in a couple weeks, Erin, and we're so excited. Are you so excited? Yeah, I'm so excited.

[Aaron]

I know mom loves New York.

[Dax Shepard]

We don't get many trips, and this is gonna be a full four or five days. Wednesday to Saturday.

[Kristen Bell]

We fly in Wednesday, but not a working trip. But it's the day. It's a working trip.

[Dax Shepard]

It's working. Do you know mom is one of Time's 100 most influential people? No.

[Kristen Bell]

Do you feel my influence?

[Dax Shepard]

Crazy.

[Aaron]

I've felt it since day one.

[Dax Shepard]

I have been heavily influenced.

[Aaron]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, that's a fun question, this self indulgent. But here we go. Can you feel Kristen's effects on me over the years?

[Aaron]

Yes. And I'm not kidding. I have felt her effects on me.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, right.

[Aaron]

She's turned me into a better person.

[Dax Shepard]

You're a really great example, hon.

[Kristen Bell]

Thanks, guys.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, truly. I was looking at my Instagram, right? And the last two posts. One is of me looking cool on a motorcycle and one is of me crying. And one has 4 million views and one has 400,000. And I think I would have never had the confidence to embrace that side of myself publicly if you didn't enter the picture.

[Kristen Bell]

Cause I cry all the time and I make it seem so normal.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, this is a fun time to say that you and I have done a complete reversal, which is when we met, you cried every 45 minutes.

[Kristen Bell]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, except.

[Aaron]

Oh, finally.

[Dax Shepard]

Look at that.

[Aaron]

Where are we? At 700ft away from something.

[Dax Shepard]

I wonder if it's the same rice and barbecue that we went to yesterday.

[Aaron]

When I saw your post the other day, I told him I cried while I was scrolling. I didn't even have the volume. I didn't even know what he was crying about.

[Dax Shepard]

About a motorcycle I want.

[Aaron]

But I started crying immediately when I.

[Dax Shepard]

Saw him welted up. I did too.

[Kristen Bell]

And that means you have mirror neurons. I think they're separated issues, right? Like, one thing is, do things make you cry or do you have a bunch of guards up that allow you to not be emotionally invested? And then the second thing is your system of mirror neurons, which is when you see someone else cry, your mirror neurons, I don't want to say should because I don't know if they should, but if they're strong, they turn. Watched that video of you two or three times now, and I well up every single time. And I wonder if because you guys didn't have the adults that maybe you wanted to emulate that were safe around you, you almost like dulled your mirror neurons. Cause you're like, I can't mirror these people.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, look, I have a story. And the story is I had this older brother and I just did not want to be a baby. I want to be older. You see it with Delta. Now imagine it's a five year gap and just crying was a baby's activity. And I just decided at nine we're not doing that. Cause that's very babyish in front of David. But Aaron was a good crier. Always.

[Aaron]

I cried up until a year and a half ago. Yeah, I've always cried.

[Dax Shepard]

We would get sent to Bart Montani's office, the vice principal. And we would sit in there and he would yell at us. And I would be stone faced staring at him. And then Aaron would start crying and then I'd get really protective over Aaron and be defending Aaron. And it was a whole scene. I can only imagine what he thought when he came home from work. He never let us know. But he had to have thought that was cute, right? Two little bad boys in his office, and one's crying and one's trying to protect them. Yeah.

[Aaron]

Trying to stop me from crying. I'm gonna go get this food.

[Dax Shepard]

Get this food. Get this money.

[Kristen Bell]

Hi.

[Dax Shepard]

Hi. I love you.

[Kristen Bell]

I love you.

[Aaron]

Thanks for doing that.

[Kristen Bell]

Yeah.

[Aaron]

You're so good.

[Dax Shepard]

You're asking so many questions.

[Kristen Bell]

He's quiet.

[Dax Shepard]

I mean, blessed.

[Kristen Bell]

Blowing up my spot.

[Aaron]

Hello.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, my God. What if this same place.

[Aaron]

Oh, I hope so. I hope there's another one. I hope there's another one.

[Kristen Bell]

Now, wait, you have to go directly to this person, or are you allowed to pick up another?

[Aaron]

If something rang, we could, but you see how.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, that's only so far between us. That's happened to us once.

[Kristen Bell]

Oh, this is the directions to the person who ordered barbecue and rice.

[Dax Shepard]

That's right.

[Kristen Bell]

It's only three minutes away.

[Dax Shepard]

It has alleviated a lot of my guilt. The most obnoxious and indulgent thing I do is order five guys when we're at the Hansons. Oh, yeah, it's across the street. I almost have felt like when I get the food from the guy, he's gotta be pissed at me. Like, come on, you lazy motherfucker. You walked almost as far to pick the food up at the end of the driveway. But this is very common. Like, most of our deliveries are within a few hundred feet.

[Kristen Bell]

At work or working from home.

[Dax Shepard]

See, that's exactly the kind of attitude you have. That's infectious. Do you hear what she said?

[Aaron]

Working from home. It never stops.

[Dax Shepard]

I'm like, there's a lazy bum. It's a fucking bum whose parents are giving them money and they're sitting on their ass at home, ordering 100ft away. And you go there. Working from home. That's the exact influence I need in my life. Me too. What do you think of this person? I'm so embarrassed.

[Aaron]

It never occurred to me.

[Kristen Bell]

Someone's working from home. You think they're just waiting at home?

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, I think they're. They're terrible.

[Aaron]

So I'm lazy.

[Dax Shepard]

I assume everyone we deliver food to is a terrible person, just like me.

[Kristen Bell]

When you order food, though, it's because we've both just gotten off work. We need to feed the kids. We haven't had time to do anything. Why wouldn't everyone else be in the same position we're in.

[Dax Shepard]

This is the benefit of being a good person. So you're a good person and then you assume everyone else is a good person. But Aaron and I identify a little bit with being lazy pieces of shit. And despite a lot of evidence otherwise, that's still kind of just my root. Like again, if I see someone cut me off, I'm like, yeah, they're entitled and they want to get there faster than I'm going to get there. Cause I drive like that. That's the penalty if you're a piece of shit is you assume everyone else is a piece of shit. I guess. But I do think as I've liked myself more, I do give a lot more benefit of the doubt and think better thoughts about people. But like when you would never fly around someone on the right and try to make up a minute. You wouldn't do that?

[Kristen Bell]

No, because they could have a pregnant woman in the car and if they're driving too slow, they could have a cake in the back for kids.

[Aaron]

Oh my God.

[Dax Shepard]

Don't want to smash birthday cake for a senior. For someone's Hummer's birthday.

[Kristen Bell]

For someone's final birthday.

[Dax Shepard]

No, final birthday.

[Aaron]

Oh my God.

[Dax Shepard]

They have this precarious three tier cake in the back seat pussyfooting around the city.

[Aaron]

God, I hope I think of something like that next time I'm in that position.

[Dax Shepard]

Someone's going 15 miles an hour on a 35 and I go, oh, you.

[Aaron]

Know, I feel like, get that cake home safe, birthday cake or not, motherfucker.

[Dax Shepard]

Put your foot on the gas. Just tell him I got fucked up on the ride. Cause the traffic was a beat down.

[Aaron]

Oh man.

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[Aaron]

Car.

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[Dax Shepard]

Rookie mistake.

[Commercial Announcer]

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[Dax Shepard]

You heard that, right?

[Commercial Announcer]

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[Dax Shepard]

Or at least past the sixth grade.

[Commercial Announcer]

But wait, there's more. Uber Eats has your lunchbox game covered, too. Get discounts on string cheese, juice boxes, fresh fruit lunchables, all the fuel your little geniuses need to power through the day. And hey, if some of those snacks accidentally fall into your mouth, I won't tell anyone. The best part? It's all just a tap away on the Uber Eats app. No more running around like a headless chicken trying to get everything done. So make your life easier and order now on UberEats. Remember, get up to 40% off back to school essentials. Offer ends 9, 16 terms apply. See app for details.

[Dax Shepard]

The fact that you've been able to share a life with me and I'm moving around like that, God bless you.

[Kristen Bell]

But, honey, I give you the benefit of the doubt, and oftentimes I'm right. You have this story about yourself, that you have all these bad intentions all the time. You're a big boy.

[Dax Shepard]

It's just. You think that's synonymous with them?

[Kristen Bell]

Yeah, I do. Oh, is this the food he's coming out to use? Oh.

[Aaron]

Oh, shit. This never happens.

[Dax Shepard]

Are you Andrew?

[Kristen Bell]

Oh, wonderful. He doesn't look like he's working.

[Aaron]

Of course. Of course he's not.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, Jennifer.

[Kristen Bell]

But you know what? Maybe he's knee deep in work. That's why he's.

[Dax Shepard]

You wanna meet Kristen Bell?

[Kristen Bell]

I did.

[Dax Shepard]

See, it said Dex. Sure, let's do a selfie. We're making a podcast where we deliver food.

[Aaron]

Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

Hi, you're Andre. I am Dax. Nice to meet you.

[Kristen Bell]

You wanna take a picture? Hold on. I can get out.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, let's get out and get a photo.

[Kristen Bell]

Okay. Hold on. I'm all, I gotta put my mic in my pocket.

[Dax Shepard]

All right, now I have to leave a good tip. No, you don't. You'd leave zero tip. My wife is very wealthy. Take care, brother. Have a good one. You too.

[Aaron]

It finally.

[Dax Shepard]

Of course. Cause you're here. You fucking bitch, you. Did I tell you this funny thing, Aaron, about the hotel reservations?

[Aaron]

17 no.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh. Oh, sorry.

[Aaron]

I accepted so fast.

[Kristen Bell]

Did he put $17?

[Dax Shepard]

No, no, no. That's another. It's on now.

[Aaron]

Oh.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh. It's like this. Sometimes when it rains, it pours. What happened?

[Aaron]

Oh, you have to.

[Dax Shepard]

Did we miss it?

[Aaron]

No, no, no. You still have to put.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. So did I tell you about the hotel? Cause I'm taking the girls to Hawaii on Saturday. Oh, yeah, you told me the story. Just the three of us.

[Aaron]

I think that girl got fired. No, no, that's not.

[Dax Shepard]

So I got an email from the hotel saying, we're delighted to offer you a complimentary upgrade to a suite. And also, if you're traveling with Ms. Bell, let us know if we can arrange any services for her. And so I wrote back like, oh, I'd love an upgrade if I could get a rollaway so that there's enough beds. And they were like, no problem. And they said, and any services for Ms. Bell? And I said, no, she won't be joining us on this trip. And they wrote, we're so sad that she won't be joining. They fully regret giving me this upgrade. Because they thought they were giving you an upgrade.

[Kristen Bell]

That is not true. No, more likely because no one in their right mind can believe that a dad would watch his kids by himself.

[Aaron]

Without the mom there.

[Kristen Bell]

That's much more likely and they might be right.

[Dax Shepard]

Let's see how it goes.

[Kristen Bell]

What's this big order?

[Aaron]

Oh, we're cracking. Vegan breakfast burrito.

[Dax Shepard]

This is a big one, guys. This is 23 minutes. Let's do a question. Okay, mom, are you ready?

[Aaron]

Mom?

[Kristen Bell]

Yep.

[Aaron]

I'm a single mom to an incredible 17 year old daughter, Riley. I got sober a few years ago and it's the best thing I've ever done for myself and for her. But now I'm facing something I never really prepared for. Riley leaving home in two years. As proud as I am of her, the thought of an empty house after 18 years of being mom every single day is terrifying. I know I have to keep putting my sobriety first, but I'm scared of the loneliness of not having her as my anchor and of what my identity looks like when she's out in the world chasing her dreams. I've built a life that I love, but sometimes I feel the pull of old coping mechanisms when I think about the quiet that's coming. I have lost a lot of time with her because of my addiction. How do I prepare for the transition in a healthy way? What helped you both when facing major life shifts? And how do I keep Showing up for myself so I don't fall into a place where I risk everything I've worked for.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, Aaron, you're the first of us in this exact situation. Cause Wade is going away to college. Yeah. Six months, right?

[Aaron]

Yeah. First of all, I relate with the getting sober and feeling like you lost a lot of years with your kids and you have all this making up to do. And it sounds like she has done that successfully and hopefully has realized that it's okay. And you just have to accept it.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. You have to forgive yourself, I'd imagine. Yeah.

[Aaron]

And it seems very impossible. And I can't remember how long it took me before I did accept it.

[Dax Shepard]

In other arenas I've witnessed you now at five years, have the three years of feeling very guilty and then saying, you know what? I feel bad, but here we are. And I really can't live feeling bad now for the rest of my life. It's not what I've been working so hard to feel like. Right.

[Aaron]

Yeah. It takes such a toll on you. And then weight is going away, but have two girls still that are not yet. But I am so excited for him to live his life. I'm so excited for him to get to do anything at all that resembles. I just think of you and I at that age. We didn't go away to college.

[Dax Shepard]

Right. We didn't go on spring break with our mom. We sure did. Things have changed. Do you know that everyone goes on spring break with their mom now?

[Kristen Bell]

Yeah, I do.

[Dax Shepard]

You know that. Everyone knows that.

[Kristen Bell]

And my sister went on spring break with Lucy and Ben.

[Dax Shepard]

What's your thoughts on that?

[Kristen Bell]

The moms are sick of fricking staying at home and doing nothing. They want to be involved too. It's not like the moms are going to parties with them. At least with my sister, she separates from them. But she'd like a beach vacation and she's paying for it, so I think, why not?

[Dax Shepard]

Well, I love mom taking a beach vacation. I just don't know why it's gotta be with the 18 year old on spring break.

[Aaron]

Seems stressful.

[Dax Shepard]

I just don't know how the kid has the fun they're supposed to have. It's supposed to be like a rumspringa for you.

[Kristen Bell]

Well, it was for me too, I guess.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, yeah. Don't sell yourself short.

[Kristen Bell]

It was go away.

[Dax Shepard]

Where'd you go?

[Kristen Bell]

South Padre island, of course.

[Aaron]

Tijuana.

[Dax Shepard]

Tj. Aw. Did you hook up? Yeah, you did. You went single. You managed that correctly, by the way.

[Kristen Bell]

Yeah, and I went with the girl, literally.

[Dax Shepard]

We could have been there at the same time. Right.

[Kristen Bell]

I went with, like, the group of smart girls from my school and we got blasted. And then, like, my rolls of disposable cameras that I put in my photo album book and hid at the bottom of my closet. My proof of my roomspringer.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes.

[Kristen Bell]

My mom brought into the Mom's club at the height of the year I left for college and showed everybody as.

[Dax Shepard]

A warning of what happens on these spring breaks.

[Kristen Bell]

Maybe she thought it was funny. Maybe she just was going through my st.

[Dax Shepard]

I don't know, rifling through my. But you were single on that trip.

[Kristen Bell]

Yeah, well. Well, I don't know if I was.

[Aaron]

Oh.

[Kristen Bell]

I mean, I don't think I was nice. It's regretful, but I don't think I was. Here's the way my brain works. I'm such an optimist. I wanted to answer yes.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Kristen Bell]

Because that's the right answer.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes.

[Kristen Bell]

But if I really think about it, I don't think I was.

[Dax Shepard]

This is what I like about you. Everyone's got a little duality. And yours is particularly interesting because you're on the surface, such a goody goody. We're really opposites. I'm presenting one way, but I'm bawling. You're perfect. But my.

[Kristen Bell]

I've been flying alone, you know, I can't handle alcohol. So, like, I had a little bit of alcohol and nothing else mattered. Tomorrow never comes when you have a little.

[Dax Shepard]

That alcohol in there.

[Kristen Bell]

I have a lot of thoughts on Mallory's situation.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, tell me. I thought you would.

[Kristen Bell]

Well, I think about this a lot. And first of all, I can fully acknowledge that I don't suffer from certainly not the same demons as worrying about the loneliness. But I find it helpful for the way my mind works to picture the visual. Like, how many bags do I want to carry around in life? Like, I feel like the invisible bags of baggage of things I'm going to carry, things worrying, you know? And when my kids go to college, I don't want to carry around the bags full of this empty feeling. So I'm like, okay, well, how do I set them down? And I think preparing yourself by way of looking at life as a cycle has really helped me. Like a flower. A flower starts as a sprout, and then it grows into a beautiful flower, and then it kind of withers, and then it fertilizes the other plants. Like, I think about that a lot when I look at the girls, and I'm like, oh, yeah. Bikini season's over for me, and that's okay.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, hold on.

[Kristen Bell]

I had a lot of bikinis.

[Dax Shepard]

Hold on, Dar, you're in a lot of bikinis.

[Kristen Bell]

I know, but you understand what I'm saying? Like, for me, being the ingenue, that's done. I'm a mom. They think I'm gross. They call my boobs sloppy joes. You know what I mean? Like the phase I'm in where I'm getting rizzed by my. Maybe Riz is flirting.

[Aaron]

I'm getting shit on.

[Kristen Bell]

Seized shit on by my kids. And that's also a phase that can be beautiful. But it's so hard for humans to be okay with going into a different phase. And that's the hump. It's not. What am I gonna do? Just be accepting of the next phase of your life is happening. And now you're gonna have to still be her rock at home when she calls home. But you are going to have to find other things to nurture if you are particularly filled up by nurturing. So volunteer somewhere. Get a dog, get a cat, get a goldfish, Create a hobby, Get a male chimp, get a tonka. That space is filled is kind of all you can do. Fill the space with things you've always wanted to do. Beyond that, really work to understand that everything has a cycle. Even this Chevy bolt. She'll die one day and I'll be so sad.

[Aaron]

That might not be bad to comparison.

[Kristen Bell]

But do you know what I mean? Like, everything has to have a cycle. Without it, the Earth couldn't function. And it's just really hard for humans to step out of one phase into another phase. But I think when you zoom out and look at it as a macro view like that, it becomes easier.

[Dax Shepard]

The biggest chunk of my identity is now the father of Lincoln and Delta. It's 80% of what I think I am. So, yeah, it's gonna be really wild to not have a daily responsibility or commitment to them. And I do think there's gonna be an enormous hole there. And I think I'm gonna be very sad that I don't hear them in the house. I think it's gonna be rough.

[Kristen Bell]

Oh, for sure.

[Dax Shepard]

But I'm a romantic, so I also have a fantasy of your and I's life completely free to go to New York for a week if we want and to go to Europe with the Richardsons and just do what we wanna do. I have a very healthy fantasy of our life without kids, too, which is a luxury of being married. But I Do wonder where you and I are a little different. Like, you're not prone to that same fantasy I have.

[Kristen Bell]

I am to a degree. I think I'm more realistic about. Habits and practices become yearnings. If you've been doing them for long enough, we will have been nurturing for 18 years. That's like quitting drinking. That's what Mallory's feeling. She's gonna have to quit drinking again because that is. You're fulfilling something for someone else. You're practicing.

[Dax Shepard]

Your primary purpose goes away.

[Kristen Bell]

Exactly.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Kristen Bell]

And if that just evaporates instantly, of course there are gonna be aftershocks. So you have to fill it with something else that allows you to scratch that itch.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, yeah. When I read this, the only thing I thought of as my suggestion, and she's further along than us, so I don't feel like I'm really in a position to make a suggestion other than I think she has to develop some hobbies or as you're saying, some volunteering something. She has to develop some things to fill that big hole. But my main suggestion is to not wait until your daughter's left. You're feeling sad and terrible.

[Kristen Bell]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. And now I'm asking you to go have an interest in something.

[Kristen Bell]

Right. Be ahead of it.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes. I think as a commitment to help is like really commit to signing up for some things before she leaves. So you're just already in the habit of doing it.

[Aaron]

That's what my first thought was reading it too. She did such a good job already. And I just want to hug her and say, please don't worry. You have done the hardest part. And you did get a few of those good years back that a lot of people don't get.

[Kristen Bell]

I think that self esteem can be built when you thread the line of, so you have manufactured this. You've earned this gift that you gave to your daughter. That means the gift is yours to give again. You know, you don't have to. I'm not saying adopt a toddler and be up all night, but I'm seeing a dog.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. And one other thing I'd add to mom that you should feel good about is I don't think you can underestimate the power of modeling a comeback. I was very lucky in that I didn't have the kind of shame maybe most people do with addiction because my dad was already an addict and had already gotten sober. Like, I never felt terribly judged by my family for having this thing. That's a huge blessing. And he had shown me the roadmap for when I finally needed to address it, I was quite familiar with it all.

[Kristen Bell]

I don't know if it's just me, but the tough love steps in and talks very harshly to me. And this is what I did when I was pregnant. When I was like, worried about being pregnant, about all the things I was like, hey, you know what, Kristen? You're not the first person on the planet to ever have a baby. You're just not. Lots of people have done this before you couple gabillion. And yes, it's gonna be hard, but someone else has gone through it before you, which means it's possible. And that gives me hope.

[Dax Shepard]

Wow, look at these cool old houses. Victorian.

[Aaron]

Oh, man. Are they like sorority houses?

[Dax Shepard]

This is our first billionaire we're delivering to. Or maybe, yeah, maybe there's some learning houses. What if we're delivering to a party and we get invited in?

[Aaron]

Well.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, probably not.

[Kristen Bell]

We're not in that phase. I don't think they want us there. Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

They'd want you. They're probably watching. Nobody wants it.

[Kristen Bell]

I'm an old woman. I don't think they want me.

[Dax Shepard]

All right. You're the hottest sex symbol on Netflix.

[Kristen Bell]

Yeah, I think it's the next block. Yep.

[Dax Shepard]

I hope it's not a nude co ed.

[Aaron]

It's in here.

[Kristen Bell]

It's in here.

[Dax Shepard]

It's in here.

[Kristen Bell]

She's right there.

[Dax Shepard]

She's right there.

[Aaron]

I hope I don't get put in that situation.

[Dax Shepard]

I'm gonna say, I would love to, but my wife is in the car. There was a nude coed, but it's a man laying out right there, checking. No, he's chatting with a girl hanging out her window. What a time to be alive.

[Aaron]

College. Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Wade. I miss it.

[Aaron]

Look at him now. He's calling your name.

[Dax Shepard]

How you doing? Good.

[Aaron]

How are you?

[Dax Shepard]

Really good. Well, out of context. Delivering food. It's very confusing, right? And Kristen Bell's in the backseat. Are you fucking kidding?

[Aaron]

Are you fucking kidding me?

[Dax Shepard]

Bye.

[Aaron]

Bye.

[Dax Shepard]

Get that, son.

[Aaron]

I'm starting to feel that old thing.

[Dax Shepard]

Where I'm like, fuck, Wait, what version?

[Aaron]

I want to be him.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That it's over.

[Aaron]

That it's all over.

[Kristen Bell]

It's not over. You're just in a different part of your life.

[Dax Shepard]

I love the part of my life, but I also would love to take week long vacations as 27.

[Kristen Bell]

Yeah.

[Aaron]

Would you?

[Dax Shepard]

Or not at all.

[Kristen Bell]

There was too much pressure to party and have fun. I'm too much percentage introvert to really crave or enjoy that. I Wish that I was going on spring break with you guys, I really do. Cause I would love to be with you. But I am also beyond excited to come home to a quiet house and talk to nobody for the whole week after work.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, we were watching White Lotus and there's that scene where they all go out in that town and they're doing ecstasy and getting drunk and then they're on the boat. That must have been a 15 minute sequence. And the entire time I'm going, no, I'm gonna do that again before I die. This is literally all I'm thinking about. I was like, I am not leaving planet Earth without another trip like that to Thailand or whatever. And as I'm in the middle of thinking all this, Kristin goes, ugh, this looks torturous. I want to be reading a book. Back at the Clear headed.

[Kristen Bell]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Proud of every decision I make. It was so indicative of us. I was just off to the races of how bad I want to be walking down that street all confused and laughing at me loud.

[Kristen Bell]

You know, it's too much stimulus for me.

[Aaron]

I was feeling that same way watching it. Were you? Oh my God, yeah. Kept telling me, rosie, I wanted, I need a weekend. I'm like, ugh, fucking love this.

[Dax Shepard]

I know.

[Aaron]

I think I even mentioned like, he's like my age. I'll believe anything. Like it's really happening. The movies. I know it's a movie. You know, he's acting, but I'm like, oh, he's doing it. It's my age.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, you ready for a moral dumbfounding love?

[Aaron]

Yeah. The Secret Affair.

[Dax Shepard]

This is Jonathan Haidt.

[Kristen Bell]

A Jonathan Haidt moral dilemma.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, his moral dumbfounding questions. Oh, oh, oh. Like the brother and sister who have sex.

[Aaron]

Oh, yeah, yeah, The Secret Affair. A happily married person has a one night stand while on a trip. They use protection, never tell their spouse, and the affair never affects their relationship in any way. The marriage remains strong and loving. Is this morally wrong?

[Dax Shepard]

This whole thing with a trap trying to get you to commit on camera and say there's no problem.

[Kristen Bell]

I want to hear you first.

[Dax Shepard]

Why? Why don't you be brave?

[Kristen Bell]

No, I want to hear you first. Cause I already know what I think.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, I'm fine with it. I don't care if I don't ever know and it has no impact. I've said it a million times. My issue with an affair would not be that you had sex with somebody. My potential issue with an affair would be you'd be distracted, you'd be overcome with guilt. It would impact how you treated me. You would not be doing all the things, as my partner that I've come to love that you do. That would be my fear. Not the thought that you had sex with somebody.

[Aaron]

The guilt would take over hard on me.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, that's reality though, versus the question. It didn't impact. But I agree.

[Aaron]

I understand. But you're knowing what you did.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Aaron]

I love the idea of doing it.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, yeah.

[Aaron]

Not affecting anything.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Except it would.

[Aaron]

Listen, I don't get stumped by many of these. I would eat a person. I would do all these crazy things.

[Dax Shepard]

Feed a dog, have something. You're from addiction. Yeah. You know yourself and you know this is impossible. You'd be carrying the guilt. And then when you feel guilty and shame, then you act a certain way and it would just ripple out. There's no way it could be done that I accept.

[Kristen Bell]

I feel I should preface this with I didn't always feel this way.

[Dax Shepard]

Right.

[Kristen Bell]

Because when I met you, I was a very jealous person and I was bending to the subconscious rules society had given me of television shows of like, my boyfriend cheated on me, girl, get him out of the house. No fucking way. You asked me the question of kind of a, would you rather if I slept with someone versus if I drove our kids drunk? And that put everything in perspective. I was like, if you had an affair, I feel like we could get through that. If you drove my kids drunk?

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Kristen Bell]

You're packing up. There's no circumstance in which I would allow you around the kids until I knew you were completely sober and clear headed.

[Dax Shepard]

What was really interesting is we were in a big group of people and we asked a bunch of couples that question. Would you prefer your partner cheat on you or drive the kids drunk? And we were both kind of shocked that most of the people would prefer that they partner drove the kids drunk.

[Kristen Bell]

I don't know.

[Dax Shepard]

There's something wrong there.

[Kristen Bell]

I have the exact same answer as you do. The sort of splitting that would be involved. Although. Wait, what did that one say? It's a one night stand.

[Dax Shepard]

It never happened again. Protection never happened again. Has no impact on the relationship.

[Kristen Bell]

I mean, kind of, who cares, to be honest, because I have the same thoughts you do. I also know we're monkeys. We're both attracted to other people. We're married. We're not dead.

[Dax Shepard]

I'm mostly dead, but yeah, there's just about 15% still left.

[Kristen Bell]

But I don't know that everyone has the privilege of this much confidence in their relationship.

[Dax Shepard]

I agree. Even Go beyond that. We gotta own the fact that for the most part, I've not been left in my life by partners. Either it was amicable or I broke up with somebody. And I think that's really relevant. If you have someone that's been like, cheated on and then dumped and cheated on and dumped, how on earth could you have this laissez faire opinion? But I've been cheated on but not dumped. Well, a, I had an open relationship. So I had two. And after the first one, I was like, yeah, she loves me as much as she's ever loved me and she's had sex with other people. Like just the notion that somehow that would make her not love me or something, I just got to experience it had. Had no impact. It didn't have any impact on either relationship. Now I'm against an open relationship for different reasons. Which are? Well, a, I'm an addict, so I can't manage that. I can't fuck once. Whereas your guilt would eat you up. There'd be more right away. It'd be like, if I had a drink tomorrow, I'm gonna have a thousand drinks over the next few. That's just how I'm built. But I think if you have an open relationship, unless you guys are so committed to working on your own sexual relationship, if you have other options, it's already hard to maintain your own sexual relationship. And if you have options, you just won't do it. That was definitely the poor outcome of my open relationships is our own intimacy suffered greatly from it.

[Kristen Bell]

Interesting. But did you think it was be going to.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, no.

[Kristen Bell]

Did you think I was gonna disagree?

[Dax Shepard]

No, no.

[Aaron]

That one's hard.

[Kristen Bell]

You were like, that one's gonna be hard.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, no, I just mean this is unique to ask a married couple this question in front of each other. Like you might be in a podcast somewhere else and get asked this and you would just. Whatever. But you're being asked to answer this in front of your husband.

[Kristen Bell]

In front of my husband?

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Kristen Bell]

Did that surprise you that I said that?

[Dax Shepard]

No. I've come to think that's how you think about it. How would you feel, Aaron, if Ruthie cheated?

[Kristen Bell]

Give him higher circumstances than that. Give him more specific circumstances.

[Dax Shepard]

She's in a gang bang with a date, dude.

[Aaron]

Well, that's cool.

[Dax Shepard]

It's a one night stand. I want to watch.

[Kristen Bell]

She's at a work thing and there's been alcohol consumed. The flirtation didn't start before the alcohol. Alcohol loosened everybody up. She sleeps with someone, she wakes up and is Like, I can't believe I did that, because I do love Aaron. She comes home. How do you want her to handle it?

[Aaron]

Ooh. First of all, well, this is the only relationship in my life that I don't play that scenario out ever. I am. And we're doing it to you.

[Kristen Bell]

That's cool.

[Aaron]

Oh, no, that's great. I am so comfortable in my relationship. It doesn't ever cross my mind.

[Dax Shepard]

Same.

[Aaron]

I remember that not being the case for every other one.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Aaron]

I remember the feelings of jealousy. I mean, honestly, how do I want her to play that out? Of course, keep quiet about it. And I don't want to ever know about it. Right. But I think she could tell me, and I would understand, too.

[Kristen Bell]

Do you think that has to do with who Ruthie is, or do you think that has to do with who you've become?

[Aaron]

I think it's who I've become. And. Well, hold on.

[Dax Shepard]

I think it could be a combo, I guess.

[Aaron]

A combo? Yeah, is the easy answer.

[Dax Shepard]

Because I just believe, as I've said in the past, I'm not liable to be jealous of a hot dude. I'm more liable to be jealous of Mike Scher. Cause he has morals and ethics that I know are in lockstep with yours. And I can't compete with. But with that said, I so thoroughly believe and have witnessed that you love me for life. I believe that in my heart. I don't see any scenario where at any point in your life you don't love me and vice versa. I don't think anything could prevent that.

[Kristen Bell]

You're right.

[Dax Shepard]

So I think if you feel that everything else is a little less threatening. Well, honey, you're the most delightful guest we've had.

[Aaron]

Fun. Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

I love you so much.

[Kristen Bell]

I love you, too.

[Dax Shepard]

Thank you.

[Kristen Bell]

Love you, Aaron.

[Aaron]

I love you, baby.

[Kristen Bell]

I'll give it to Aaron.

[Dax Shepard]

A little smoochies.

[Aaron]

Smooch, smoochies.