Mom's Car: Monica Padman

Summary

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Episode: Mom's Car: Monica Padman
Date: September 23, 2025

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Episode Overview

This episode of "Mom’s Car," a spinoff from the Armchair Expert universe, is a lively, unscripted ride-along through Los Angeles with Monica Padman, Dax Shepard, and Aaron. The trio dives into Monica’s favorite eateries in Los Feliz, swaps stories on sustainability and possessions, fields quirky and serious listener questions about relationships and change, and debates the philosophical and practical challenges of evolving identity within marriage. The tone is as irreverent and intimate as ever, blending playful ribbing with honest vulnerability about human messiness, transformation, and what really matters in life.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Thrifting, Generosity, and Attachment to Things

• Sustainability and Clothing Donation
  • The group discusses giving away nice items to thrift stores like Salvation Army and Goodwill, and the strange hope that recipients appreciate the item's original value.
  • Notable Quote:
    • Dax: “I hope they know they got something that's normally $350 for $2.” (01:36)
  • Monica calls out the non-Buddhist trait of attachment, challenging why it matters if someone recognizes the value.
• Cycle of Ownership
  • They reflect on the circularity of donating, then buying someone else’s old clothes.

2. Food, Habits, and LA’s Strange Rhythms

• LA's Unique Meal Times and Restaurant Preferences
  • Monica shares her favorite French-inspired spot, Loupiet, describing its festive European charm (02:51).
• Delivery Adventures
  • They contrast assumptions about food delivery’s expensive clientele, noting it’s often everyday folks ordering from “weird duck restaurants” (03:35).
  • Aaron and Dax discuss odd and off-putting smells encountered during deliveries.

3. Listener Questions: Humor and Authenticity

• The 'Fake Vulner Boy' Email
  • Dax writes a fake question about a sensitive Southern man searching for love in a bigger city, which momentarily fools Monica.
  • Memorable Exchange:
    • Monica: “I can't imagine there's anyone out there looking to care for someone who is always throwing up and crying.” (07:40)
    • Dax: "You wrote this, Dax." (07:48)
  • Once revealed, Monica admits the made-up listener was nearly her “perfect man”—until the vomiting in New York was mentioned.
  • Conversation playfully explores what Monica’s ideal partner might really be like.

4. Comfort Zones, Habits, and Exploration

• Monica contrasts her risk-averse daily life with her adventurousness in food, seeing restaurant exploration as her version of “kink” (13:56).
• Dax admits to getting stuck in habitual routines, preferring familiar favorites to new experiences.

5. Possessions, Value, and Mortality

• Attachment to Material Goods
  • Dax and Monica open up about the desire—despite their best intentions—to accumulate and hold possessions, like expensive watches and vehicles.
  • Dax relates the irrational hope that heirs (or strangers at Goodwill) recognize the worth of items left behind (19:30).
  • They muse on how mortality and events like fires force us to clarify what truly matters (20:05).
• Notable Quote:
  • Dax: “None of this has any value anymore because there's no one here to care about it.” (19:51)

6. Personal Stories: Family and Loss

• Aaron shares anecdotes about inheriting their father’s Vietnam memorabilia; Dax keeps his late father’s AA sobriety coins.

7. Sexual Openness and Body Image

• Masturbation Openness
  • Discussion veers into sexual habits, with frequent jokes about being “caught in the act” (24:10).
• Bodily Aesthetics and Grooming Norms
  • Monica, Dax, and Aaron discuss waxing, the gendered discomfort around male waxers, and shifting trends in body hair presented as generational and cultural touchstones (27:19).
  • Dax explains how his first perceptions of womanhood came from Playboy (“a mature, fertile woman right there, not a baby”—28:20), leading to broader questions about identity and sexuality.

8. Real Listener Question: Changes in Long-term Partnerships

• A Wife’s Struggle with Her Husband's Bodybuilding ([32:22–47:13])
  • A genuine listener asks how to process her husband’s newfound obsession with bodybuilding, which has altered their dynamic.
  • The group uncovers deeper issues:
    • Fear of Identity Change:
      • Monica: “I thought I knew you… now you’re changing. That’s scary in a relationship.” (33:55)
      • Dax: “If I’m dead honest, if I was her, I’d be kind of embarrassed to be moving through the world with a bodybuilder as my partner.” (35:38)
    • Gender Norms & Double Standards:
      • Monica: “We're asking men to be feminine and masculine and all the things. That's really hard.” (36:06)
      • Dax: “There's something a little unattractive about [being] fully consumed.” (36:59)
    • Impact on Daily Life:
      • Monica observes that shared rituals, like restaurant outings, can be upended by new obsessions (“if I was married to someone…and then he decides to become a bodybuilder…that is affecting my life”). (40:12)
    • What’s Fair to Ask?
      • Dax: “You can't ask someone to change fundamentally for you…People get to make decisions about their lives.” (49:40)
    • Advice:
      • Dax: “Try to really figure out what the key fear is…share it with your partner and give them the opportunity to comfort that.” (46:57)
      • Monica: “It’s a conversation that you have, you’re vulnerable, and then you say, I'm scared that you're changing.” (47:14)
• Analogy to His Own Marriage: Dax compares it to Kristen Bell’s choices around body hair and his life-risking hobbies—highlighting the boundaries and negotiations of autonomy in marriage.

9. Sobriety and Couples Changing Together

• Dax and Aaron acknowledge the challenges when one partner gets sober, potentially destabilizing a relationship built on shared habits (50:01).
• Dax: “It's not fair to her or for me. I don't want to be at dinner with someone who's a little drunk…” (50:30)
• Monica takes the compassionate view: “If I was married to someone and they got sober, I'd have to change my lifestyle.”

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Donating Expensive Items

  • Dax: “I have this weird desire that I hope they know that...it was a $350 sweater.” (01:36)
  • Monica: “It's not very Buddhist. And why does it matter?” (01:51)

• On Change in Marriage

  • Monica: “I thought I knew you… that's scary in a relationship.” (33:55)
  • Dax: “Try to really figure out what the key fear is… and then share with your partner.” (46:57)

• On Personal Kinks

  • Monica: “In exploration of cities, that's where I get kinky… My kink: eating tasty food. I'm so kinky.” (14:00)

• On Masturbation Openness

  • Dax: “I am embarrassed to be caught jerking off.” (25:02)
  • Aaron: “So I guess I kind of want to get caught, but…” (25:30)

• On Gendered Body Image

  • Dax: “The first time I saw women naked…they all had hair bows. It represented, like, womanliness…not a baby.” (28:20)
  • Monica: “There's something primitive about it.” (29:28)

• On Mortality and Possessions

  • Dax: “None of this has any value anymore because there’s no one here to care about it.” (19:51)

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Important Timestamps

• 01:36 — Dax on donating expensive items and attachment.
• 07:40 — Monica on seeking a partner “always throwing up and crying.”
• 14:00 — Monica describes her “kink” as city exploration and eating.
• 19:51 — Dax’s epiphany about the meaninglessness of possessions after a loved one’s death.
• 27:19–30:06 — Conversations around waxing, body hair, and generational shifts.
• 32:22–47:13 — Deep dive into the bodybuilding husband listener question, identity change, and relationship negotiation.
• 50:01–51:46 — Navigating relationship challenges when sobriety alters the dynamic.

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Overall Tone & Takeaways

The episode is quintessential “Mom’s Car”/Armchair Expert: part comedic, part philosophical, always introspective. The hosts and Monica balance self-deprecation and playful banter with recognizing the importance of honesty and directness in relationships—whether about food, watches, or the fraught landscape of romantic change. The episode’s wisdom is found in the encouragement to “name the real fear” underlying irritation with partners, to communicate openly, and to remember that the heart of life is not about stuff, but connection, memories, and vulnerable curiosity.

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For listeners seeking laughter, sincerity, and a candid window into navigating evolving relationships and values, this episode delivers a vintage blend of Monica and Dax’s warmth, humor, and self-inquiry.

Transcript

[A]

Hello, and welcome to mom's car. Today we have the Duchess of Duluth, Monica Lily Padman. She joins Aaron and I today to really educate us on all the fun to eat places in Los Feliz that we're not stopping at. Please enjoy. Monica, miniature mouse, Duchess of Duluth, Padman. Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking Allstate first. Like, you know to check your phones in your pocket before leaving the house. Checking first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote. That could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Savings vary subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North America Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.

[B]

You know what's funny is I always donate my clothes to Salvation army, but then I buy him.

[A]

Then I buy.

[B]

Then I buy someone else's. And I love the thought that someone's gonna like my T shirt that I don't like anymore.

[C]

They will.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Sustainability, right?

[B]

Then I get someone else's.

[C]

Do you get a T shirt or.

[B]

A picture of a beach or something? I'm like, this.

[A]

No.

[C]

One person's trash is another person's treasure. They say that.

[A]

That's why I'm famous. Saying I have a weird experience where it's like, I'll give away a bunch of stuff, and it's nice stuff.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

I've given Jordan St. To the Goodwill.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

And then I have this weird desire that I hope they know that it was expensive or a $350 sweater. It's important to me that they know they got something that's normally 350 for $2.

[C]

It's not very Buddhist.

[A]

It's not very Buddhist. And why does it matter? But can you relate to that?

[B]

I do.

[A]

Yeah. You go like, oh, I'm giving this $1,800 purse to Goodwill. I sure hope they know what they got. Yeah, right.

[C]

Or it's kind of fun for someone who has no idea and really just likes the way it looks. And lucky them, they got a $28,000 purse.

[A]

And maybe that's the best case. They don't even know what they have. And then they're walking around with the burka bags, and people are like, oh, my God, I love your bag.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Where did you get it? Those are hard to get.

[B]

That would be cool.

[C]

Where's our first stop?

[A]

Well, we just kind of drive around Moni. And then it'll tell us.

[B]

Look, it's lunch time.

[C]

Oh, it's a good time.

[A]

It's telling us it's lunch. Prime Time.

[B]

Prime time. Let's see.

[C]

If we get one, we're just gonna ride and. Until we get a Dingles.

[A]

Yeah. And sometimes we just kind of post up at Sunset Junction and wait. I've told you a lot about this. This has broken a lot of my assumptions.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

My first assumption was like, oh, food delivery is pretty pricey.

[C]

This is a cute restaurant I like to go to sometimes.

[A]

La Pootie.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

What's it called?

[C]

Loupiet. It's French, and on the inside you feel like it's Christmas time in Europe.

[A]

Oh, and the food's delish.

[C]

Yeah, it's good.

[A]

Do they have a French onion soup? Do they have French fries? Do they have French fries?

[C]

I don't think they have any of those things.

[A]

They have French dressing.

[C]

Oh, my God, no.

[A]

What if everyone in there was French kissing? Who of you are invited to French kiss your waiter?

[C]

Oh, this is kind of fun because I kind of feel like while we're waiting, I can just tell you all the places I like.

[A]

I already anticipate this.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Sincerely. But what's counterintuitive is, like, okay, yeah, people without a lot of money are using delivery service. I thought I was gonna be delivering to a bunch of rich people. Not the case. Secondly, I would think, oh, I'll go hang out where all the restaurants I eat at, most of the times we get a dingle. It's a weird duck restaurant on Hollywood Boulevard.

[C]

Wow. What's the most tempted you've been to eat? One of the items we picked up.

[A]

Lucifer's ones. Oh, yeah.

[B]

That smells real good. I can tell you the most untempted. I was actually. They were both with Joy.

[A]

Well, Jackie, too.

[B]

Was it Jackie?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

There was one that smelled like a pile of garbage. Oh, yeah, that was with Jackie.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

It was assholes inside of a bag. Like, leaking assholes.

[C]

Oh, God.

[A]

And then someone got the asshole sampler.

[B]

Yeah. Then someone else fucking ordered a bunch of whole ducks. I was like, oh, I gotta stop thinking about that duck in that bag.

[C]

Was it cooked or raw?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Okay. Okay.

[A]

But we were confused because they don't sell duck wings like they sell chicken wings. Yeah, but they take the wings off. But they give you the feet.

[B]

There's no trace of the wing anywhere.

[C]

Oh, my gosh.

[A]

Oh, they get it out of there.

[C]

Like bad luck or something. Yeah, it probably is bad luck.

[A]

Okay, so we're gonna do a moral dumbfounding question, which we like to do, and then a listener question. Okay, let's do a listener question.

[B]

Guess what else? You would think that we'd be busy cause it's lunchtime, but we're not.

[A]

It's the slowest time of day. Lunchtime.

[B]

It's the only second slowest of dinner.

[A]

Yeah. We're trying to figure out what is the sweet spot.

[C]

That's interesting. Cause I do think here in LA people don't have regular job, so their eating is off. They might eat lunch at 4.

[A]

They had breakfast at 11:30, dinner at 9.

[B]

There's no real lunch hours here.

[A]

What's the hardest time to make a reservation though at one of your restaurants?

[C]

Ooh, that's a good question.

[A]

Seven.

[C]

Yeah, probably seven. I like to get a 5:00pm I like to be in and out by seven.

[A]

Really?

[C]

Yeah, I like an early bird.

[B]

You do that too.

[C]

It's better that way.

[A]

What are the advantages? It just takes less time to get your food.

[C]

No, you can just go to bed early.

[A]

Oh, oh, right, right, right.

[C]

You can get in your bed the pit or ER or both.

[A]

Oh, I love the store, the pit.

[C]

And max medical drama.

[B]

Oh, no, no, no.

[C]

With no Wiley. He's so hot.

[A]

Come on.

[C]

He's so hot.

[B]

Yeah, he went from cute to hot.

[C]

Oh, what if we run into him on our drive?

[B]

I hope so. I hope we're delivering a big duck to him.

[A]

A big armless.

[B]

I would only eat duck with him.

[C]

He probably knows about the wings. Cause he knows about anatomy.

[B]

He probably grows wings in a garden. Okay, we're gonna hang for. All right, Monica, you're gonna love this one. This is from a listener. To move or not to move. Hey, vulner boys. I'm a 39 year old vulner boy living in the south. And I'm very inspired by both of y' all's willingness to show your emotions. I'm writing because I've been considering making a move to a bigger city where women would be more attracted to my sensibility.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

It's a hard decision to make because I've planted roots in my hometown, but I can't seem to find love. I don't think it's anything physical. I'm 6 foot 1, athletic. Not that I believe them, but many people have compared me to Ben Affleck.

[C]

Oh, is this a what? Is this a meet cute?

[A]

What?

[B]

Hold on.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[B]

My last girlfriend would get uncomfortable when I would cry during movies.

[C]

This is a joke.

[B]

Or when we would have a disagreement. I tried to rein it in, but I just can't. I'm wondering if you guys think it's time to Try another city. I'm very drawn to LA because of the food and outdoor lifestyle. I'm a shameless sun worshiper. But New York is great too. It's my favorite city to visit. I probably live there. But I tend to get nauseous from all the commotion and tend to vomit a lot while I'm there.

[C]

Oh. Oh.

[B]

I can't imagine there's anyone out there looking to care for someone who is always throwing up and crying.

[A]

Please help.

[C]

You wrote this, Dax.

[A]

You wrote this.

[C]

You did this.

[A]

Oh.

[C]

I'm embarrassed because I believed it until the very end.

[A]

Good. That was my goal. I said a couple things where I'm like, that's too much the Ben Affleck thing. I'm like, I might tip it, Ben Affleck, but the fact that he said, not that I believe them, is your basement flooded for this guy?

[C]

I'm actually so sad that this prison isn't real.

[A]

Oh, my God. I was like, I wanna write a fake question for Monica. And I couldn't think. There's a lot of different ways to.

[C]

Go move cities into my pants.

[A]

He gets nauseous from all the commotion.

[B]

Brian Buchan.

[C]

I vomit a lot.

[A]

I doubt anyone wants to care for me.

[B]

I was like, new York is not a city for him.

[C]

Oh, I'm so sad.

[A]

But you know what's funny? As I was writing it, I also had this thought, this could offend you. But I was like, even if this was real, go ahead.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. Even if this was 100% real.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I was like, I don't know that Monica would jump at this, but I was. You were jumping?

[C]

I was. I was like, oh, my God. This could be such a fun, crazy twist circle, big twist.

[A]

I made my husband doing your show delivering food special.

[C]

Really? You're just tricking me. I might need to frame that.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I can't imagine if there's anyone out there looking, looking to care for someone who's always throwing up and crying.

[A]

But try to imagine your hardest, that it's dead. Are you actually gonna, like, send him an email?

[C]

Yeah, I think we would here devise.

[A]

A plan and we'd be up for it.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Six one Ben Affleck.

[C]

Six one athletic Ben Affleck.

[A]

I was toying with the idea of saying when I said that I've put down roots here. I was gonna say, I have a pretty successful pottery shop. He would fill in the blanks and think he makes really cool coffee cup mugs.

[C]

Oh, like trinkets that I love.

[A]

Yeah, like mugs and.

[C]

And oh, my gosh.

[A]

What other stuff?

[C]

You. Okay, so this was a good test. This is like you creating my perfect man.

[A]

Everything you think you want, and here it is. Will you pursue it?

[C]

I mean, I didn't love the part that he couldn't rein it in when he was crying a lot. I do want him to be able to rein it in a little bit.

[A]

A red flag.

[C]

That was a little bit of a red flag.

[A]

Okay. You could build on that.

[C]

I can't believe I didn't get it. When you read I'm a Shameless Son.

[A]

Or Shaman, I got so nervous. Cause I was looking for you outside and I said, were you sun worshiping? I was like, oh, shit. I shouldn't have said that. I just wrote that. That's gonna tip it.

[C]

Did you write it just now on.

[A]

The toilet before we left. I thought of it last night and then we got home so late. I didn't do it. And then, as you know, I took a nap before work.

[C]

I feel sad with myself because you're right, he sounded great. But when he threw up in New York, I was out.

[A]

Cause you love New York so much.

[C]

He can't. I mean, that's embarrassing, but he loves it. But he's throwing up.

[A]

He just needs you to care for him a little bit.

[C]

I think you're confused about my desire to care. To care. To care about anybody. That's not what it is.

[A]

That's your own proclaimed.

[C]

No, no, no. They have to be sick.

[A]

Yeah, he's very sick. He's a baby psychosomatic. He's weak.

[C]

Yeah, that's a weak one.

[A]

That's the problem with vulneraboing. Where is the line? Like you're free to cry and vomit if you have a sickness. Flu.

[C]

Yeah, I love that.

[A]

But if the commotion sometimes makes you.

[B]

Yeah, don't mention anything.

[A]

No, get through it. Fucking shove your feelings right down.

[C]

No, he can talk to me about it. We can discuss it. But just don't throw up on the street.

[A]

It's not in the street. It's just. He's like, oh, I think I need to stop back at the hotel.

[C]

I can't stop. I'm on a mission there.

[A]

If I would have said I love shopping, would that have been too much? I love shopping for luxury goods. People are always mad at me because I spend so much on luxury goods. But I can afford it. And I don't have kids, but I want them. But I am toying with Buddhism. So I might say goodbye to all this. But probably not.

[C]

I mean, in Real life. Who do you think is my perfect partner? If you really had to create him, who you really think would be a good partner for me? Not who I would want.

[B]

Oh, like a famous person.

[C]

It could be that or just creating the characteristic.

[A]

Well, that's really hard. I always just go to whoever I love. I would go, oh, you and Nate would have so much fun married. You and Aaron would have so much fun married.

[C]

Yep.

[A]

I just end up thinking whoever I'm in love with would be a great match for you.

[B]

Yep. That'll work.

[C]

That'll do.

[A]

But it is weird if I had to pick. Oh, except.

[B]

Yes. $3.

[A]

$3.

[C]

$3.

[A]

Don't worry about it. What?

[B]

God, no.

[A]

Yeah, we're going to barbecue and rice. Have you ever been here?

[C]

No, I haven't. Not yet.

[A]

Maybe this will tempt your palate. This could lead to a list of to dos for you, Mommy.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

My problem is I get stuck in ruts. Like I know what I like, and it's hard to go somewhere new. And I know I could be going and getting something I love.

[C]

We're different that way.

[A]

This is your hobby?

[C]

It is. It's something I enjoy finding new places and new.

[B]

I have trouble with that.

[C]

You do? You're a creature of habit. Yeah, well, it's kind of counterintuitive. Because in life I'm safer. I'm a creature of habit. I like safety.

[A]

You watch the same thing. Cause you know how it ends. You like knowing how things are gonna go down, Right?

[C]

But in Exploration of cities, that's where.

[A]

You let it out.

[C]

Yeah, that's where I get kinky.

[A]

Yeah, that's your kink.

[C]

My kink at eating tasty food. I'm so kinky.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I gotta find a guy that loves kinky.

[C]

I am kinky because I was down for all the vomit for a second. Only for a second vomit. Crying only if he's sick.

[A]

Some crying, controlled crying.

[C]

Crying if it's.

[B]

Except for once, he couldn't reel it in.

[A]

That's too many times.

[B]

Once is enough.

[A]

I do think it's really tricky. I think we're telling boys have the full range of emotions that women but I don't know. Women have caught up to that.

[C]

But can I tell you something? If my girlfriend was also so overwhelmed by New York that she threw up everywhere, I can't go to New York with her.

[A]

True.

[C]

That's just a person thing. Right up there.

[A]

Oh, oh. On the corner. Oh. World famous barbecue rice bowl. Yes.

[C]

So what happens now?

[B]

You guys hold it tight.

[A]

Yeah. Aaron runs in, grabs the rice. I don't think it'll be far because it was only three bucks.

[C]

Oh my gosh. This man is eating it.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

And he's wearing a Muay Thai shirt. Oh, I shouldn't be pointing.

[A]

Oh. He and Matt might know each other from Muay Thai.

[C]

I wanted to ask him if he likes his food.

[A]

I was gonna admit to you that when you're talking about your watch thing.

[C]

Mm. The Cartier watch I wanted.

[A]

Right. That was too much money.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

I was not judgmental. But also I didn't want you to buy a watch that expensive.

[C]

Really?

[A]

Yeah. Cause I want you to save your money and invest it, you know, to be safe.

[C]

That's funny. That might be because you. Well, a few things. One, you feel paternal. But two, and I want to relieve you of this. I think since our job is together, the money, if it runs out, it's on you to make sure I still have some or something. Is that a part of it? Maybe.

[A]

Yeah, maybe.

[C]

Yeah. But it's not. Just so, you know.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I guess that's none of my business. All to say I had had the same exact moment the day before. I just recently was like, I gotta sell and I'm going to. I gotta sell some of these fucking vehicles.

[C]

You are?

[A]

Yeah. I gotta get rid of some of these motorcycles. I don't know what car I'm gonna get rid of, but I have too much crap. I gotta get rid of it.

[C]

Buddhism.

[A]

Yeah. And then I met my dad, Tom Hansen for dinner at Katsuya.

[C]

Uh huh.

[A]

And he was in a brand new AMG gt. This so sexy two seater sports car in that silver, that Mercedes. Silver. That's from the gull wing that you love. It's so sexy.

[C]

Oh wow.

[A]

And at first I was like, who cares, I'm not that interested. And then he was getting it in and I said, do you like it? And he goes, yeah, yeah, it's good. I go, is it fast? He goes, yeah, yeah, it's fast. I said, it's not as fast as the wagon. Right. That AMG wagon that we both had. And he goes, oh, it's way faster. And I'm like, no, the wagon's supposed to be the fastest. And he goes, no, this thing has a nine speed and 600 and some horsepower.

[B]

Oh my God.

[A]

And I was like, oh fuck. See, hearing those numbers.

[C]

Yeah, you wanted it like your watch.

[A]

All of a sudden I was like, I gotta have this car. If I can have this car, why wouldn't I have this Car.

[C]

I know.

[A]

It took over all my thinking. And I was like, you cannot buy another car. I don't care if you have a billion dollars. You're not allowed. Cause all you do is worry about it and don't use it.

[C]

Right.

[A]

The watch you're gonna wear.

[C]

I know. Well, actually, the watch was an interesting thing, because when I was talking to Anna and Jess about it, Ana said I could buy it.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

So I was like, I'm gonna buy it. Cause Anna said I could.

[A]

Yes. And she's reasonable.

[C]

Yes. But then she said, but what you can't do is go on your walks wearing it.

[A]

Oh.

[C]

And I was like, fuck. That's true, Annika.

[A]

I do better at this normally. I don't know why I'm so engaged in your stories.

[C]

I tell good stories.

[A]

You do. You're one of the great storytellers. That's actually true on pa. Your stories are boring.

[C]

Hey.

[A]

And they're riveting. No, I'm telling you, they're absolutely riveting. But on paper, if it was a pitch to a studio and you're like, here's the situation. This woman cannot stand these people that hang out on the sidewalk when she's walking. They would go, no, there's no story there. But there is a story. You just haven't heard Monica tell it.

[C]

That's true. So she said, you can't go on your walks with it. And I was like, that's right, I can't. I would feel. I feel so scared on my walks wearing a $30,000 watch.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

But then I will never wear it. The point is that I would wear it as a daily watch, but that includes my wogs.

[A]

Yep.

[C]

Aaron, I almost bought a 30,000 watch I'm getting.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I didn't buy it, and I'm not going to. I've decided definitively I'm not going to. But, Dax, you own some expensive watches.

[A]

I have one expensive watch, and that's.

[C]

Kind of how I feel. I could have expensive.

[A]

Yeah. But you're not gonna like this. But I personally don't really have a ton of faith that that Cartier watch is gonna accrue value. I don't think there's a good enough history of Cartier doing that. My one really expensive watch is one of very few that has just gone up every year for 25 years.

[C]

Right.

[A]

So that one, I really did feel confident that, oh, I'm just getting this, and in a pinch, I can definitely sell it and probably make it.

[C]

But these are lies.

[A]

You're right. I'M never gonna sell it. My kids are gonna probably find it in a box of shit when I die. And they'll have no idea what it's costing. Someone at Goodwill will buy it for $13, and I'll be beyond the grave going, I hope they know they have a fucking Rolex.

[B]

You know what they have?

[A]

That's a panda.

[C]

Yeah, exactly.

[A]

No, none of it means anything. You can, like, learn it, but you can't internalize it. Cause I had the experience of going to my dad's house after he was dead. You're like, none of this has any value anymore because there's no one here to care about it.

[C]

Yeah, with the fires, we had to think about all of that a lot, right? What has real value, what's meaningful? What are we packing? I'm packing a note that Delta wrote me when I had my seizure.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Like that's what matters.

[A]

Yeah. Aaron, did you have to clean out anything of your dad's when he died? Yeah.

[C]

Did you take anything?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

All his money.

[B]

All that money. He had some things from Vietnam, you know, like his dog tags and.

[C]

That's cool.

[B]

Military id. That was fascinating to me.

[C]

We've arrived. And by the way, Dax, can I say we're at someplace cute?

[A]

We are. And is it Leave that door. It is. So I'm not even gonna get to meet Kai, Which I would love to. Cause what a cool name. Maybe I'll knock on the door. Maybe I should just risk getting fired.

[C]

Oh, could you get fired that way?

[A]

Yeah, they could complain, right?

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

I wonder what you'd have to do, they get fired.

[A]

I think there's another delivery person.

[C]

Oh, you know what I'm guilty of that? Having two deliveries at once from different places.

[B]

Oh, yeah, we've all been there.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Oh, and then there's a third delivery person behind us. Oh, my God.

[C]

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Is it really going to the same place?

[A]

Let's see. This is very.

[B]

You should ask him. How many deliveries have you had?

[A]

What if the door finally opened and then just weed smoked weed out of there because the person had the munchie? This is a delivery. Delivery person as well. Oh, my God. Please go to the same house. Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. Okay, well, we go three for three. He's taking a picture, just like I did.

[C]

Good. You did. Good job.

[A]

I took a picture. I gotta know what this gal's got out of there.

[B]

What if they're her ride?

[A]

She's gonna take all that food to a second location, back to the Restaurant where she bought it from.

[C]

Wow, that would be.

[A]

That would be an elaborate system as a. You hate waiting for food, but you love eating at the restaurant. So you get it. Postmates to your house, then you Uber to the restaurant.

[B]

Oh, yeah, he's got a big old groceries.

[C]

Yeah. Grocery delivery.

[A]

That's probably the dessert. Ice cream and stuff.

[B]

Yeah, big tub of ice cream.

[A]

Oh, so you have your dad's dog tags. That's cool.

[B]

Yeah, I can't think of really anything else besides that.

[A]

The only thing I took is all my dad's AA coins.

[B]

Right? Oh, yeah, you gave me one. Which I have, by the way.

[C]

That's really sweet.

[A]

Yeah. In fact, I owe you probably three more of them.

[C]

Can I have one?

[A]

There's no five day coin. They don't make a coin for five days.

[C]

I like this street a lot. So I go to this place. L and E right there.

[A]

What do they specialize in?

[C]

Oysters.

[A]

Seafood.

[C]

It's very cute. They have a happy hour.

[A]

That's part of your kinkiness.

[B]

Oh, man.

[C]

Well, yeah. Aphrodisia.

[B]

I was there to get all horned up.

[C]

I've never experienced that from oysters, by the way.

[A]

I'm such a perv. There's nothing fucking grosser than oysters to me. And I've stared at them on a menu for like 10 minutes thinking it'd be worth it for it to feel really horny. Which is so weird because unless you can do something with the horniness. Why do you want to feel. But I do want to feel horny, even if I don't have an outlet.

[C]

That is weird.

[A]

Do you like being horny? Yeah, I like being horny.

[C]

You do? Even if you can't. I mean, I guess you can always match.

[A]

I don't get horny to masturbate.

[B]

Oh, I do.

[A]

Oh, that's awesome.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Don't you when you go to a hotel or anything?

[C]

Yeah, yeah, you're right.

[A]

I do. As soon as I walk in the door, actually naked. Yeah. As I've said before, close the door with hair. D. I eventize it. I get bare naked. I use lotion, which I never, ever use. And I make a warm towel for myself before I start that I put on a nightstand.

[B]

Oh, man.

[A]

I do everything short of putting music on.

[B]

Sure.

[C]

Light candles.

[A]

I pour a big bath for myself.

[B]

Incense.

[C]

Have either of your wives walked in on you masturbating?

[A]

Oh, wow.

[C]

Or girlfriends, I guess.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

That's a great topic, Monica.

[B]

Girlfriends have.

[C]

And did it go poorly?

[B]

No.

[C]

Did they join in One Time.

[B]

Ruthie was like. Well, she was, like, real busy. You could tell. And I was like, not busy.

[A]

Well, you're getting busy.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Or whatever.

[B]

I was busy in a different way. She's like, on a meeting. And I went.

[A]

Making money. Yeah. Making money for the family.

[B]

I was jacking at noon.

[A]

During the workday. Primetime business hours.

[B]

Most people are getting paid. She was like, all right.

[A]

Yeah. This is really weird because I'm obviously so open, and I, of course, am not. Not saying I don't jerk off, but I am embarrassed to be caught jerking off.

[C]

Right. I could see that.

[A]

Are you embarrassed or no. You love it a little bit?

[B]

No, I don't love it. No.

[A]

Look at this.

[C]

Jesus.

[B]

I'm somewhere in between.

[A]

Sussy.

[B]

You know, I always think how sexy I am when I'm jerking off. I know. We've discussed that. So, like.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I guess I kind of want to get caught, but.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But it depends where I'm at in it. If I'm just starting.

[A]

I want to get caught by someone that doesn't know me. That's attractive. Cause I think in that moment. Yeah. That I would look sexy, too. Yeah. Of course. It would just be terrifying.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

But I don't really want someone who knows me to walk in.

[B]

Right.

[A]

What are you doing in here, you creep?

[C]

Yeah. Oh, my God. Ding, ding, ding. This is where I get waxed.

[A]

Oh, you want to pop in?

[C]

Oh, I do need to pop in.

[A]

You could hit two birds with one stone. We'll just bring all the equipment in.

[C]

Isn't it cute? It's a store up front.

[A]

Wow. Wow. That's quite a job. Just one pussy after another. You're seeing them.

[C]

I know. Oh, God.

[A]

There's no male waxers, right?

[C]

I've never seen one.

[A]

Would you allow a gay waxer? Male.

[C]

A gay man?

[A]

A gay man?

[C]

No.

[A]

A gay man? No. Cause he could just be acting gay.

[C]

It's not even about the sexuality.

[A]

Like, if we wax.

[C]

I mean, there is.

[A]

Hi, sweetie. We put on a whole.

[B]

I hate to say that everything is about the sexuality when I'm anywhere.

[C]

Well, no, because if it was a gay woman, I wouldn't care. It's something about a man near my vagina that I don't want unless I've decided I want.

[A]

But it is interesting. Cause. Yeah, it's so weird. I would, of course, rather have a girl wax me than a man.

[B]

Yeah. I would never have a man wax me.

[C]

Really?

[A]

Like the notion of pulling my pants down in front of a strange man and then him applying Wax all to my mom's pubic. I way rather have a woman, but.

[C]

It'S kind of for the same reason. It's because men might lose control at any moment and behave horribly. Pretty much just a woman to do her job.

[A]

Even if they kept it together, God knows what's going on inside of their mind. And they're like, click, click, click, click, click, click for later.

[C]

Exactly, Exactly.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Taking their time might take longer. If a guy's waxing you and he's.

[C]

Really getting in there.

[A]

Yeah, he really is taking his time under the guise of being thorough.

[C]

Also, taking your time is the last thing you want. You want that done so fast.

[B]

You don't want to slow down.

[A]

You want to keep walking. Basically take your pants off and never stop moving.

[C]

It's awful. I'm considering getting laser, but I'm also scared of that because it's so permanent.

[A]

It's so permanent. And then. Yeah. What if this guy from the south likes grass on the field before he plays ball?

[B]

People from the south tend to.

[A]

They're notorious for it.

[C]

They don't really care. Right. Don't most guys just kind of take what they can get?

[A]

I like both. Yeah, both are very exciting.

[B]

I know.

[A]

I think for our generation. It's specific though, because I grew up looking at Playboy. That's the first time I saw women naked.

[C]

Right.

[A]

And they all had hair boughs. It represented like, womanliness. That's a mature, fertile woman right there, not a baby. Yeah. And so I very much have that seared into my head. I don't know what Gen Z's relationship with it is.

[C]

Yeah, good question.

[A]

I can tell you my children think pubic hair is disgusting. And it is.

[C]

Yeah. It objectively is pretty cool.

[A]

But I like it too.

[B]

I do too.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I remember when we were 20, ish girls started shaving. And that was kind of of a newer thing. Cause I do remember, but it started.

[A]

With just a strip. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

The strip planning, strip class and then that. And I know that was exciting for people in there. That's new. Yep. And I remember at one point I commented on a certain girlfriend's. I was like, oh, no, there is no shaving going on. And you're like, oh, really? Don't you want that? And I'm like, oh, no. I love. I love those.

[C]

Yeah. You like it wild?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I guess it's wild. It's kind of wild.

[C]

There's something primitive about it.

[A]

There is. That's a great way to say it.

[B]

Is it making a comeback?

[A]

It is. It seems basing that on, like, I'll see movies and girls are having some bush and they're younger and I think, oh, cool, it's coming back.

[C]

Yeah. I think there is sort of this train of thinking that's like, if you are removing all your hair, why are you trying to be like a doll or a baby? That's weird and probably not what you want. So some people think that.

[A]

Well, there's a tactile appeal to it when it's completely bare.

[C]

Yeah. I mean, that's sweet.

[A]

That's like the cheeks. Someone's cheek. Not a baby's, but an adult woman's cheek.

[C]

Yeah. We gotta be careful to say not a baby's cheeks.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

If you walked in on your girlfriend masturbating, would you be upset? Like, you were in the house.

[A]

Oh, like, why didn't you let me.

[C]

Exactly. Why didn't you just decide to have sex with.

[A]

No, I would just be so happy. They're horny. Horny. That's kind of all that I think is cool. Like, oh, good, you're horny. You'll want all kinds of things.

[C]

Sure.

[A]

Stay tuned for more. Mom's car. Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking Allstate first. You know, it reminds me of all those times when checking first really pays off. Like that time I didn't check the weather before planning a backyard bar barbecue. Rookie mistake. Or how about when you're about to head out on a road trip and you know to check your tire pressure first? It's those little check first moments that save us from bigger headaches later. I mean, think about it. You always check if you have your wallet before sitting down at a restaurant. Right. Or make sure you've got your keys before closing the front door. These are just smart moves we all make. Checking first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with all state savings vary subject to terms, conditions and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. Get almost anything you need delivered with Uber Eats. What do we mean by almost? Well, you can't get a well groomed lawn delivered, but you can get chicken Parmesan delivered. A day at the lake, that's a no. A Philly cheesesteak, that's a yes. An afternoon stroll? Sorry, no. A burrito bowl. Happily, yes. What about a day of sunshine? Sunshine? Not happening. A box of fine chocolates? Yes, that's happening. Delivery on its Way. Okay. How about some clear skies? Nope. Well, then how about some french fries? Yep. A little escape. No. A delicious bowl of grapes. Yes. Yes, that. How about a freshly cut lawn? Can't help you there. But barbecued prawns? Order it and it's on its way. Get almost. Almost anything delivered with Uber E. Order now. Product availability may vary by region. See app for details. Okay, we're gonna take a real question now. I promise. I didn't write this one, but I did go through them and think what ones would Monica and I debate about.

[B]

My husband started TRT a few years ago because of low testosterone. This led him into the world of bodybuilding podcasts, et cetera. He started.

[C]

You wrote this one too.

[B]

No, I didn't. He started bodybuilding and has been at it for about three years. I hate it. I love that he has a thing he does that makes him happy, but I can't get past the connotations and the vanity of it all. I know it's completely my issue, but it's weird going from a man who didn't give a shit about this world to a pre workout loving, meat and rice eating, stringer wearing bro. For context, we are 41 and we've been married 12 years. Have two boys, 7 and 9. I do a lot of running and sometimes triathlons. So this is not against working out. It's specifically bodybuilding and how involved it is and I cannot let it go and be cool. And that was from Kate Merrihew.

[C]

Kristen Bell.

[B]

AKA Kristen Bell.

[C]

She changed a couple details, but I hear her in there. Gosh, this is. This is tricky. I mean, I get it. I think what she's feeling is how I would feel, which is I don't even know you anymore. That's what's underneath. It is. I thought I knew you. You didn't care. When we got together, you were this person and now you're changing. That's scary in a relationship.

[A]

I agree. That is kind of inherently scary. Cause who are you? But then the real personal thing is. And does this different person still like.

[C]

And do I like this new person?

[A]

Yeah. So there's probably like two different things. Is she repulsed by muscles? That's an issue. And is no longer physically attracted to him. That's one issue. Let's just pretend that's not the issue for a second. So this new person has this new pursuit and I didn't even know they had it in him. And then what else is next? You're unpredictable now.

[C]

Exactly.

[A]

And it's kind of Scary. The things I think are perhaps not fair are the pieces she uses to build the argument instead of like, what the very vulnerable thing is that's going on is like, I don't really buy vanity as a thing. Everyone's vain. It's like, what version of vain are you? I don't know if I buy the vanity part. I think that's an easy thing to. It's like a moral sin to be vain.

[C]

Right.

[A]

But it's also bullshit. We're all vain. We're all looking in the mirror. We all care how we look. We care how we dress. Anyone who does triathlons, they get it. They're into challenge. Yeah. Yeah. So, like, I want this challenge. I want to rise to this thing. I've set for myself, this goal. So that should be relatable. I don't see any difference between bodybuilding and doing triathlons.

[C]

I do, because there is a kind of culture around it. It can be. Not always, but it can be kind of bro y and douchey. And it kind of sounds like that's sort of what she's saying. Like the podcast. He's, like, really immersed. Exactly. Like, he immersed himself in this culture more than just he wants to be fit, but he wants to be one of these types of guys.

[A]

If I mean dead honest and I was her, I'd be kind of embarrassed to be moving through the world with a bodybuilder as my partner.

[C]

Yeah, me too.

[A]

Just truthfully, I don't think I would love how it reflected on me or what people would assume, like, oh, she likes Jersey Shore meatheads, so that's something to contend with. Is it about you don't like how it makes you look, which is very complicated. I'm not willing to say it doesn't matter.

[C]

Back to the thing we were talking about earlier with my Southern gentleman.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

That it's really hard for men, for my soulmate. And that it's hard for men to walk this line. Cause we are asking now for men to be feminine and masculine and this and that and all the things. And that's really hard. There is something about caring so much about your body that it almost feels effeminate.

[A]

Oh, yeah. This is what Aaron's original criticism of me being obsessed with my body at a young age. It's like, that's what girls do, Right?

[C]

Right. Like, girls are obsessed with looking a certain way.

[A]

Yeah. Having a flat stomach. And it felt very feminine for Aaron, right? A little bit.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

So, like, the consumed. And I get it. I Think in many ways, Aaron was way more attractive having a belly than me not having a belly. Because I thought about it.

[C]

Anytime anyone's just fully consumed, there's something a little unattractive about.

[A]

I don't know, you'd have to actually know how it's affecting you. Is he unavailable because of this pursuit? Is he not present as a dad and as a husband? And so there's a theoretical version where he has this whole thing, but it has no impact on her. He's squeezing in these trips to the gy, on his lunch break at work or whatever he's doing. He gets up so early. If it's not affecting you, and you just really have a lot of judgment about it. I'm in an interesting place in this conversation. Cause obviously I work out a lot.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And I take testosterone. I don't listen to bodybuilding podcasts. I love bodybuilding documentaries. I would never wanna look like a bodybuilder. And I guess for me, it's kind of like, why would you care if I'm pursuing this goal of this body? But I'm doing every single thing I've always done. It has had no actual impact on our relationship other than just. You don't like the idea of it.

[B]

She made it sound like he went from doing nothing, sitting on his ass kind of thing. She seems to exercise and do her thing. She's probably wanted him to take part in something together with her. And instead of going for a walk with her, he fucking went. This route. Spends maybe less time there.

[A]

If you're a jealous person as well, it'd be hard to not make the conclusion, like, well, if you're putting all this time into your body, you're gonna want someone to appreciate it. I know we gotta ride somebody.

[B]

Where are we at? Where we go?

[A]

Do you know this place?

[C]

What's it called?

[B]

Oh, it's 600ft from here.

[C]

Oh, this is amazing.

[A]

Ooh, Vietnamese. Vietnamese.

[B]

Of course, the Thai kitchen.

[A]

I just think in a situation like this, you have to spend almost way more time thinking about all the ways you're affected by it to really figure out really what is the core issue so that you can address it. You just can't go in and go, like, I don't like that you go to the gym.

[C]

Yeah. But I do think back to what I said at the beginning. I think it's more about identity. In her head, she's probably worried that he's taking on this new identity, and it's not one that she would have maybe chosen to be With, Sure. Yeah. And now she's in it. She has two children with this person. That's also probably a piece of it. If I had kids.

[A]

Well, and if you had boys, are they gonna wanna be just like that?

[C]

Exactly. And then what are we telling them about what our bodies should look like and what's important? That gets complicated. So I think she's probably struggling with. Now I'm married to this type of guy.

[B]

Twelve years later, a big life change like that.

[C]

Yeah, it's big.

[A]

Yeah. But let's just say for a second it was that she's just nervous. He's changing. She doesn't know what she's gonna have and if he'll be around and she could say that and leave bodybuilding out of it. So it's just like I'm afraid of change. You're a different person. I don't know about saying that. Cause then he'll say, I'm not. I'm just a bigger.

[B]

Just him.

[A]

I'm just jacked.

[C]

But don't you think you.

[A]

But you could comfort someone and go like, honey, this in no way leads to me wanting anything different in life. Like, I still very much want you. I still love our kids. You could address that and reassure that. Yeah, but if it's just a simple request to stop doing this thing you love.

[C]

I mean, look, as we have learned on this trip, I love eating, I love. I love going places, I love restaurants. And if I was married to someone, and that's what we did, like, we went out, that's part of our life, that's part of our fun. And then he decides to become a bodybuilder. He can only eat protein shakes, chicken breasts and chicken breasts. And that is affecting my life, that's affecting the relationship. Like, what we do together has totally shifted. That sucks.

[A]

See, that to me is defendable as a topic to bring up. You go, like, we used to do this and I enjoyed it so much, and now we don't. So how do we fix that?

[C]

Right?

[A]

You quit bodybuilding, That'll fix itself. You gotta address the specific things that are coming up that have changed, that are not working for you, as opposed to just the theoretical umbrella of bodybuilding, bodybuilders.

[B]

Am I right?

[A]

Oh, my God, they're all the same. They're all big.

[C]

I'm trying to make it an equivalent. Like if Kristin all of a sudden decided showers are bad for you.

[A]

Well, she has decided little things. Like she decided, I'm not shaving my armpits or my legs anymore.

[C]

Right. But you didn.

[A]

And she didn't consult me. And it's in a sanctified space that I can't even bring it up. Cause it's under the umbrella of feminism, kind of.

[C]

Of course she can do what she wants with her body.

[A]

Yeah. She doesn't have to participate in this pageantry. So men like you more, and I agree with that. So what am I gonna really say? And I don't care enough. Would it be my preference that there's scraggly hairs coming out of her arms?

[B]

Look at all these sides. Trying to find parking for their deliveries.

[C]

Oh, I hope we meet some other delivery people when we drop it off.

[A]

Yeah, I hope this person also ordered a dozen. Yeah, I really wanted to be to my house one of these times. Like, my sister just ordered it for the children.

[C]

Yeah. So this is a good example. But also like, what if it was more extreme because you didn't care enough about it?

[A]

Yeah, I don't really even care. But you would probably care. I just go like, oh, I don't know that I would do something stylistically or aesthetically and not ask her. Like, I wouldn't go get a nose job and get a tiny nose before I ask her.

[C]

Of course. Of course you didn't ask her when you started to bulk up. Cause also kind of how you did.

[A]

Yeah. I said to her, hey, you know, I've always said if I got a Marvel movie, I would get a trainer. I would do all the shit to do it. And I've been kind of waiting as an excuse for that to happen. And it was during COVID and I was like, I'm never gonna be in a Marvel movie. I will have no excuse if I want to experience it. I just am going to do it. What do you think about. So right there, probably this is a different scenario. This dude probably didn't ask her. So she felt left out. Like she was yes. Or a part of this huge decision. And she said, I don't care. Unless I notice that you start acting differently, like more aggressive or something. I want the right to pull the plug on the whole thing. And I was like, yeah, great. And then that hasn't happened. And then in my defense, what happened in those pursuing four years was like, you have Atiya's book coming out. Like, it's just more and more science is now on my side that a good muscular body is going to be healthier metabolically. And it's probably a great decision as you decline that you're starting with more. So now it all worked out so I got lucky in that. The popular wisdom of the day happens to be that, yeah, being strong is a good cause. I could see her saying in the absence of that, okay, you did it. Now what? This is you for the rest of your life. You're gonna work out six days a week. But she too likes to work out.

[C]

She's like now taken on some of.

[A]

It too, after you and reading outlives.

[C]

Right. But I mean, you kind of brought her into that space, I think, and she's decided to take some of that on.

[A]

But what if she decided she wanted to become £400?

[C]

Right. Do people make that decision?

[A]

No. But for the sake of this, I'm willing to pretend that she makes that decision. That one's tricky. But I guess this bodybuilding thing is not too dissimilar. There is a weight of muscle that's unhealthy. You start cannibalizing your organs. That's a well known condition. But I would of course have on my side, I would be able to say at this BMI index, scientifically speaking, you're shaving 20% of your life at the end. And we want you to stick around. I don't know that that would be entirely honest.

[C]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Like, you could mask it as hell.

[A]

Yes. But the truth, and I think people do do that. They're not really being honest about the real thing. That scares them. And they just mask it under that.

[C]

Well. Which I like that this woman is not saying that. She's not like. And I'm worried it's unhealthy. She's like, I don't like it.

[A]

I think you're right. I just think it's more of who is this person?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And even more scary, she might be okay with this version. It's just what's next?

[C]

Yes. Where will it go?

[A]

Yes. This kind of unknown fear of like. Well, I thought I could have predicted how this person would have done when it was 1609. We're approaching the UPS boy. This city's full of delivery folks. UPS.

[B]

Oh, that's all that's happening around here.

[A]

It's like there's one legion of people in their house and the other legion of people is out delivering stuff to their houses.

[B]

Meet at Dory. You are meeting them.

[A]

Okay. I'm going up to 5:07. Wow. I'm gonna climb five flights of stairs. Ye. I was telling you about Monica. They don't ask you how in shape you are.

[C]

Oh, yeah, that's so funny.

[A]

And not everyone can take five flights of stairs.

[C]

No, they can't.

[A]

What's the weird line to get in the place?

[C]

I know.

[A]

This is exciting.

[B]

I'll take a dime bag and a.

[A]

Something's going on. I might come out with a lot of stuff.

[C]

You gotta be brave to be a food delivery.

[A]

Well, luckily I am.

[B]

Yeah. Oh, look, they met him right outside.

[C]

Oh, he didn't even have to climb. Climb the stairs.

[B]

He has climbed a few stairs on these trips, I'll give him that.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[B]

They were standing right there.

[C]

Tell us about her.

[A]

She said, for Rachel. I said, rachel B. And she said, yep. And I said, here you go. And she said, thank you. And then she looked at me a little bit weird.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

And then she went inside and she's.

[C]

Like, we should have printed handsome.

[A]

God.

[C]

Are you a bodybuilder?

[B]

Have you been working out?

[A]

You're. Your wife is so lucky. I've been looking for a man who knows how to build his body. I'm gonna go left here too. This is where we pick up some action. The places you don't think anyone goes to.

[C]

This is near where you told me about the tire guy.

[A]

Oh, yes, exactly.

[C]

John, John, John.

[A]

Oh, right up here. American Tire Centers. So to put a bow on it.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

What's your final recommendation? Mine is to just really explore what's going on. Maybe a little more. Forget for a second whether you have a good argument, whether it's just stupid activity or not.

[C]

Right.

[A]

Let's. But I think just trying to really figure out what the key fear is that's happening. And then share with your partner what your fear is and give them the opportunity to comfort that. And if that doesn't work, then I guess we're dealing with something else.

[C]

Divorce.

[A]

Divorce.

[C]

I think it's a conversation that you have. You're vulnerable, and then you say, I'm scared that you're changing. And I don't know if it will stop.

[A]

Maybe you agree to some kind of boundaries. I don't know what that looks like, but like, you tune touring for shows doesn't work for our family. Or if it's too much time or if he's really into bodybuilding. He's probably on real anabolic steroids. And I don't know if his temperament's changing, you know?

[C]

Yeah. I mean, also, look, listening to all these podcasts, not to be a hypocrite, but it changes you.

[A]

Yeah. People have gotten sober from our podcast.

[C]

Yes. And that's a beautiful thing. But your mindset can fully change when you are Listening to something nonsense. And so I understand a fear of, like, that's all you're consuming. That's scary. Maybe there's a boundary of, like, can you just promise me that you'll diversify some of the things you're listening to? Oh, guess what? We're close to Baskin Robbins. Cara.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

It's really a bigger question of, like, how much autonomy do you have in a marriage?

[C]

Yeah, I know.

[A]

Which is hard. Kristen could write in, and it would be a very, very easy to defend position where she'd go. My husband's into racing motorcycles. We have a family. My girls love their dad. I don't know why he needs to risk his life doing this.

[C]

Yep.

[A]

And that's such a legitimate.

[C]

It makes me feel really unsafe.

[A]

And that's a really legitimate fear. And then I would have the opportunity to go like, well, look, they don't die riding motorcycles. Could I get parents paralyzed? Maybe. But I've been doing track days for 19 days. No. No one's died at a track day that I've been at in 19 years. No.

[C]

It's a track day, but not on the street.

[A]

You could get hurt. I have been hurt, but yet my defense would be like, this is who you met. This was my passion, and I didn't false advertise. And it's really important to me. I get so much spiritual action out of that.

[C]

It's part of who you are.

[A]

You're asking me to really give up a big chunk of who I. I have an air suit, so when I crash, the thing will inflate. That's an improvement. You know, like, what things am I doing to be safe? I've stepped down from a thousand to a smaller bike. I did do things. Not even with her asking, but post accident, I did some things.

[C]

Yeah. I don't think you can ask someone to change fundamentally for you. I do think it's different if you're mid marriage.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Like, she didn't sign up for this.

[A]

Right.

[C]

But also, people are people. They get to, you know, make decisions about their.

[A]

Yeah. In a dream world, you get to try a lot of different things in life, and they might seem scary or out of character, but I think I certainly want to do as much stuff as possible on my little trip.

[B]

Agree. Change is good sometimes.

[A]

Yeah. A real hard one is when people get sober.

[C]

I mean, fuck. Yeah.

[B]

Those relationships are impossible. I've noticed.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Especially if you used together.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Bri and I had definitely had other issues, but. But that wasn't easy.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

We had been drinking together for 19 years. I mean, 19 years. Nine years. And all of a sudden I don't drink when we go out to eat. And then even worse, what was true to me was I didn't mind if she had two glasses of wine, but if she had three glasses of wine, we're having a different experience.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

And it sucks that I had to go join this version of it. It just sucked for both of us. It's not fair to her and for me. I don't want to be at dinner with someone who's a little drunk and isn't going to remember much of it or is feeling over overly emotional, which hasn't been warranted without alcohol.

[C]

Right.

[B]

There was people who have written in about that.

[A]

Oh, really?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Oh God. I mean, I tend to think in that case, even though you're right, it's not fair. But if I was married to someone and they got sober, I would have to change my lifestyle. Maybe not be completely sober, but know that I care about this person's well being and me drinking a ton around them is maybe not.

[A]

In my defense, I was like, go out with your girlfriends and get hammered if we're gonna spend the evening together and one of us is a little drunk and the other's not.

[C]

It's just not fun.

[A]

Not terribly fun for me.

[B]

Yeah, it's a tough sitch. That's the definition of a sticky sitch.

[A]

That's a cat's tutu, as I say.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

What does that mean?

[A]

I say that a lot, right?

[C]

Yeah. And I don't get it because you just don't wear tutus.

[A]

No, it's catch 22. And then I used to say catch 22. Cause that sounds funny. And you still actually know what I'm saying.

[C]

Okay. Ye.

[A]

Oh, that's a real catch tutu.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

That sounds fun.

[C]

Yeah, that's cute.

[A]

But then over the years of saying catch tutu, it became cat's tutu, which sounds like a kitty cat's tutu.

[C]

Exactly. And that's not a thing. That's not a thing that they do.

[A]

They don't wear. It's not a thing. Although they definitely wear tutus on Instagram. Yeah, but most don't.

[C]

Oh my God, our phones are gonna be just blasted with cats wearing tutus. Now that we see.

[B]

I hope.

[A]

Me too. I would love to see that. Although I have a hunch if they existed, you and Kristen would have already sent. You know, I'm on a text chain with Krist and Aaron. An Instagram.

[C]

Oh, a chain.

[A]

DM chain. In these two, Beck says, I take.

[B]

Much part in it.

[A]

So much I can't tell you how many. And I'm just like. I'm not sure why I'm on the text chain. Like, you guys do not need me on this. Just enjoy your animals.

[B]

We do send a lot to each other without you as well.

[A]

Oh, you do? Okay.

[B]

But I think it's become. We both think you need to see, and I'm sure you don't. You don't feel the same way. But it's also really funny to me that I know when she's sending something, I'm like, this is really funny. She put it on the one with the X. Cause I fucking hate it. Oh. Like, I don't hate it.

[A]

It's hard for me to watch them. I'm like, oh, it's another animal doing something.

[B]

Yeah, they're like, minutes long.

[A]

Yeah. Maybe three minutes before the animal does something interesting.

[C]

Erin, you sent me a funny DM the other day of a picture of. What did it say? Like, monica, let me in your pussy or something?

[B]

Oh, yeah, I found a gem. I forgot about that.

[C]

Yeah, it was such a good gem.

[A]

What was it?

[C]

Let me look for it really quick.

[A]

It says, let me in your pussy. Put me on that chain.

[B]

That's one I'd love to see.

[C]

Oh, it says, monica, let me eat you out.

[A]

Let me eat you out. And it was like a tag or like.

[C]

Yeah, someone graffiti hat somewhere.

[A]

Oh, well, Moni, we love you. Thank you so much.

[C]

Well, thank you, guys. This was fun.

[A]

It's fun, right?

[C]

Yeah. I'm glad we delivered some tasty treats to people.

[A]

Did we make two or three deliveries?

[C]

Two.

[B]

Two.

[A]

Okay, great.

[C]

How much money total today?

[A]

Let's see. No, we're at $4.65.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Oh, my God. And we spent an hour and a.

[A]

Half we were working it. I wonder if the gal, Rebecca B. Though, will go inside and then give me more of a tip. I hope not.

[C]

Oh, because she knows it's you.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

What if she gives you $1,000?

[A]

I'll drive back to her house and give her 1,500. That would be a good trick to fuck with me, actually.

[C]

Maybe next season, you guys, you can get the things, and then when you drop off the food, you leave, like, $100.

[B]

Just leave everyone cash.

[A]

If enough people watch this, they'll commit to that. I love you. Bye.

[B]

Oh, man, what a great.