Armchair Anonymous: Wild Card XIII

Summary

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Episode: Armchair Anonymous: Wild Card XIII (July 24, 2026)

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Episode Overview

In this energetic and unscripted installment of Armchair Anonymous, host Dax Shepard and co-host Monica Padman (affectionately “Padman”) gather another selection of unpredictable listener stories for Wild Card XIII. This round of confessions includes accidentally setting oneself on fire during pregnant sex, inhaling a sewing pin and needing surgery, and two generations narrowly escaping major tragedies—one a horrific train fire and the other a plane crash. The episode is a celebration of life’s randomness, the wild near-misses, and the humor and humility that surface when things go off the rails. As always, Dax and Monica blend irreverent humor, compassion, and curiosity as they unpack listener anecdotes with their signature charm.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Listener Story 1: “A Hairy (and Fiery) Romantic Misadventure”

(Guest: Sarah, 04:00 - 12:10)

• Setup:

  • Sarah, a nurse from New Brunswick, Canada, recalls being eight months pregnant and wanting to rekindle intimacy with her boyfriend while living in his mom’s basement apartment.
  • She sets the mood with candles, music, and dim lighting—couch chosen for practical reasons.

• Incident:

  • During intimacy, Sarah’s hair catches fire from a candle.
  • She describes her confusion: “I’m thinking, yeah, I’m doing great. He’s having a great time… And then I realized… my hair was up in flames.” (Sarah, 06:06)
  • Her boyfriend freezes in shock; Sarah puts out the fire by hitting herself in the face, then collapses into laughter—her stress response.

• Aftermath:

  • The burnt hair smell hits, causing overwhelming nausea, prompting her to run to the bathroom and vomit.
  • She shares her professional perspective: “I work in the operating room. I’ve smelled burnt flesh, necrotic bowel… and on top of all the smells, that one… takes the cake of the worst in my life.” (Sarah, 07:21)
  • Her boyfriend eventually checks on her, suggesting they “finish what we started,” highlighting the difference in self-image anxiety between men and women.
  • Dax offers a signature Armchair PSA: “You’re worried about how your bangs look… we still want to fuck. If you’re on fire and just threw up, you don’t need to worry about us.” (Dax, 10:07)

• Notable Moment:

  • Sarah shares her realization post two children: “After two kids, I’ve come to realize that he doesn’t care.” (Sarah, 10:13)
  • Dax, on candles: “They smell good, they’re pretty. But, boy, they bring down a lot of houses.” (Dax, 10:59)

• Takeaway:

  • Candles + passion = proceed with caution! The episode serves as both a cautionary tale and a hilarious look at intimacy, vulnerability, and what partners truly notice.

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2. Listener Story 2: “Foreign Object, Not in Bed”

(Guest: Shaima, 12:44 - 24:14)

• Setup:

  • Shaima, a French-Algerian woman living in Paris, introduces her story that dates back to 2007. She was a teenage fashion student, frequently holding sewing pins in her mouth while working late.

• Incident:

  • One night, Shaima coughs or sneezes and accidentally inhales a pin.
  • Initial ER visit: X-rays locate the pin near her chest. The doctor suspects it’s stuck in her clothing or body, not swallowed. She’s sent home and told to eat bread to possibly “push it through.”
  • Her mother, a doctor, is skeptical and—after a restless night—consults a surgeon friend who immediately suspects the pin is in her lung.

• Resolution:

  • Back at the ER, tests confirm a sewing pin in her bronchial passage. She undergoes bronchoscopy to retrieve the pin, which was already rusting: “They gave me back the pin. It was already rotting... I still have it somewhere in my house.” (Shaima, 21:04)
  • She notes her luck: had the pin gone in sharp-side first, it could have “cooked” her lung.

• Aftermath and Reflection:

  • Upon returning to fashion school, she’s greeted by her blunt Japanese teacher: “You stupid?” (Shaima, 22:11)
  • Dax and Monica compare it to construction workers holding nails or screws in their mouths—recognizing a universal, yet risky, habit.

• Notable Quotes:

  • “If you’re coming into the operating room to get an apple taken out of your ass, you just gotta admit how you got it in there.” (Shaima, 11:54)

• Takeaway:

  • Being cavalier about safety can have shocking consequences; humor helps process the absurdity.

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3. Listener Story 3: “Fate, Tragedy, and the Simulation”

(Guest: Alex, 25:45 - 43:47)

• Setup:

  • Alex, a former Canadian living in Colorado, brings a two-generation tale of life-altering near-misses tied to skiing.
  • Attended a small Vermont ski academy; shares rigorous, highly scheduled life as a ski racer.
  • Mother also attended the same school—establishes a theme of legacy and simulation theory.

• Incident #1: The Kaprun Funicular Disaster

  • November 11, 2000: Alex and his school group are in Austria for glacier training. Scheduled to take a 9:00am funicular up the mountain, but due to a power outage resetting the clocks, their coaches wake them early and they take the 8:00am train instead.
  • A catastrophic fire engulfs the 9:00am funicular in a tunnel. 161 people die. “The 9 o’ clock train was the one we were scheduled to be on that day… It had malfunctioned in the tunnel, causing the trains to emergency stop and sparking a fire that engulfed both trains and the entire tunnel.” (Alex, 34:49)

• Aftermath:

  • The group witnesses the aftermath, including “body bags being pulled from the top” and “medical helicopters doing the rounds.” (Alex, 37:16)
  • Their parents, with no immediate means of communication, learn from breaking news about the disaster and fear the worst until the group can call home.
  • Monica’s reflection: “Can you imagine being a parent here? I mean, oh my God.” (Monica, 36:14)

• Incident #2: Mother’s Brush with Fate

  • 1975: Alex’s mother narrowly misses a doomed flight after a delay; the plane from Chicago to JFK later crashes, killing all on board.
  • Dax: “That is impossible. ... How many times do you guys need to, like, dodge?” (Dax, 40:00)

• Reflection:

  • Alex now has two daughters. The legacy of “dodging fate” shapes his perspective on gratitude, luck, and trauma.
  • Dax muses on simulation theory: “That was when I was at that school, too… If anyone’s going to appreciate the simulation, it’s these two [Alex and his mom].” (Dax, 40:18)

• Notable Quotes:

  • “If my kids want to [ski], that’s great… I want the story years from now to be, ‘Well, we just skied.’” (Alex, 41:28)
  • “Wild Card lived up to its name.” (Dax, 40:42)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Sarah, on dealing with embarrassment:
  “I’m, like, naked as the day I was born, eight months pregnant, hands on my knees just gasping for air, just laughing. I couldn’t stop.” (06:53)
• Dax’s PSA:
  “You think you have one dot of cellulite somewhere—the things you’re obsessing about. We still want to fuck. If you’re on fire and just threw up, like, you don’t need to worry about us.” (10:07)
• Shaima, on risky habits:
  “Sometimes I could have, like, ten pins in my mouth, which is stupid. I don’t do it anymore.” (22:48)
• Alex, on fate and simulation:
  “The 9 o’ clock train was the one we were scheduled to be on that day… 161 people died that day.” (34:49)
• Monica, on parental anxiety:
  “Can you imagine being a parent here? I mean, oh my God.” (36:14)
• Alex’s full-circle reflection:
  “I just want [skiing] to be fun for [my kids]… and I want them to be better than their spouses.” (41:28)

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Timestamps for Major Segments

• 04:00 – Sarah’s “fiery” pregnancy romance story
• 12:44 – Shaima’s sewing pin misadventure in Paris
• 25:45 – Alex’s family legacy of fate and tragedy, Kaprun disaster
• 40:05 – Reflection on generational luck, simulation theory

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Tone and Style

As always, Dax and Monica bring warmth, wit, and a touch of cheeky irreverence. Stories are met with empathy, deep curiosity, and their unwavering willingness to laugh at the human condition—even during genuinely harrowing moments. The guests’ openness sets the stage for a cathartic, hilarious, and often astonishing exploration of life’s sheer unpredictability.

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Transcript

[A]

Welcome, welcome. Welcome to Armchair Anonymous. I'm Dan Shepard. I'm joined by Mike Padman.

[B]

Michael.

[A]

Today we have wild card number 13.

[B]

Oh, wow.

[A]

Unlucky number 13.

[B]

A baker's dozen, if you will.

[A]

A baker's D. Yeah. If you prefer. Please enjoy Wild card. We get support from quints.

[B]

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[A]

Yeah, I've been wearing them a suspicious amount. Yeah, European linen ones. They're 34 bucks, which is genuinely insane for how nice they are.

[B]

It doesn't even make sense.

[A]

Well, here's the deal. They work directly with the factories, cut out all the middlemen. So you're paying for the actual quality and not some brand's marketing budget. Everything's 50 to 80% less than comparable stuff. I love it because it's all very classic and traditional and I know I'm going to be able to keep it for a very long, long time. And the quality's off the charts.

[B]

That's true. The style is very consistent. Whatever you get there, you walk down the street, you're going to look good. They have these lightweight cotton sweaters which I love for when it cools down at night. It's nice. Drape around your shoulders in the summer and then throw it on when it gets a little cool. And it's not just clothes. They do home stuff. Ding, ding, ding. Travel stuff, everyday essentials. It's all the same model quality without the markup.

[A]

Make your summer wardrobe easier. Go to quints.comdax for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q U I n c e.comdax for free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.comdax we get support from ZipRecruiter. Go get recruiting. I'm constantly looking for ways to claw back time in my day. I've got the meal prep dialed, the grocery delivery locked in the whole morning routine down to a science. We all have our own time saving hacks for everyday life. But if you're a business owner, how can you save time hiring ZipRecruiter? They have a new feature that quickly shows you the most interested qualified candidates first so you're not buried in a pile of applications from people who aren't even the right fit. Their matching technology is seriously powerful and candidates can actually explain in their own words why they're interested in your job. That context upfront saves so much back and forth. There's a reason they're the number one rated hiring site on G2 save time and meet great candidates sooner with ZipRecruiter. Four out of five employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate within the first day. Try it for [e-mail] Dax that's ziprecruiter.com Dax Meet your match on ZipRecruiters. I had them both. Remember one thing you gotta know I'mma keep on shining.

[C]

Hello.

[B]

How are you?

[A]

Hello. I noticed you have some indoor flora and that's really lovely. Tell me about that.

[C]

Thank you. This is my money tree. It's doing really well.

[B]

Yeah, very well. They don't get that big.

[A]

Tell me about a money tree.

[C]

Oh, God. I don't really know anything about it other than its name and that it's ridiculously easy to take care of. And then my spider plant. Questionable. Not doing so well.

[A]

You have a spider plant and a money tree. You only want flora that has a kind of different name.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Maybe you should get a rubber tree, too.

[C]

I actually have one.

[A]

No, you don't.

[B]

I do.

[C]

My dad gave it to me.

[A]

Oh, my goodness. Is it mature enough for you to harvest rubber from it?

[C]

No, I'm definitely allergic to. So it sits in a jar in my window. It's happy. I'm not going to touch it.

[A]

Yeah, I just saw they do it. They just scrape a little tiny bit of the bark off and then they hang this little device at the end and then it just rubber pours out. It's so cool.

[C]

Yeah, it is really cool.

[A]

Where are you at?

[C]

I am in New Brunswick, Canada.

[A]

Oh, wonderful. We love our Canadian listeners.

[C]

Thank you.

[A]

Okay, so you have a wild card story.

[C]

I do. I have a really weird, kind of embarrassing story for you guys. Wonderful to set the scene. This was about six years ago. I was pretty heavily pregnant at the time. With my first, I was about eight months pregnant, almost ready to pop. And intimacy at that point, kind of hard to come by. So I wanted to surprise my boyfriend when he got home from work. And I kind of tried to set the scene, dim some lights, lit some candles, put on some music, put on something that made me feel a little bit sexy. He gets home from work and he's pretty excited, and I'm pretty excited. And then, you know, all the foreplay stuff happens, the usual. And then we're getting intimate on the couch because my center of gravity is off a little. I need something to hold on to, lean over. The bedroom's just not doing it for me anymore.

[A]

Okay, though. But the couch is already a little too Small for a bunch of activity for two adults.

[C]

It worked perfectly. I mean, you just lean over the arm, the couch. Right. He's behind me. It just worked out.

[A]

Okay, great.

[C]

So I'm leaning over the side of the couch, and I hear him go, oh, my God. Oh, my God. And I'm thinking, yeah, I'm doing great. He's having a great time.

[B]

So hot.

[C]

Everything's awesome. I had my eyes closed, just, like, totally feeling the moment. And then I realized while my eyes are closed that I see this light in front of my eyes.

[B]

Oh.

[C]

So I'm thinking, oh, somebody came into the room. Because at the time, we were living in his mom's basement apartment. Oh.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[C]

So we had the music on loud enough that somebody could have come in and we wouldn't have known it, Right?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Plus, you're in the heat of the moment. You're distracted.

[C]

Exactly. Worst nightmare, I was terrified somebody had come in. So I opened my eyes and I realized, no, the light's not on. But there's a light right in front of my face. It took me a couple seconds, and he's not moving anymore. I'm wondering what's going on. And then I realized I had leaned over the candle and my hair was up in flames.

[A]

Oh, my goodness. You were ablaze.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, my God. It was so bright that you noticed a human torch?

[B]

Oh, no.

[A]

I'm shocked you didn't smell it instantly, too.

[C]

Especially with, like, you know, you're pregnant. Your sense of smell is just so heightened. Right. But that part definitely comes into play. So I hopped off, and I'm slapping myself in the side of the face repeatedly, trying to get this fire out. And I look over at my boyfriend, and he's standing there just, like, naked and afraid, staring at me.

[B]

Oh, God. It's like, do something.

[C]

Why are you not helping me? I think he was in shock, honestly. So I get the fire out, and then my response to stressful situations is to just laugh. It's got me in trouble before funerals all the time. It's embarrassing.

[D]

Sure, sure.

[A]

It's a great place for a laugh. I've had them.

[B]

Right?

[C]

Like, it's so awkward. So anyway, I'm, like, naked as the day I was born, eight months pregnant, hands on my knees, just gasping for air, just laughing. I couldn't stop laughing. And this man's probably questioning all his life choices, being like, why am I having a baby with this girl? What the fuck's going on? She's crazy. And that's when the smell hit me. So just to preface, I am a nurse. I work in the operating room. I've smelled burnt flesh. I've smelt necrotic bowel, the worst kind of infection you can imagine.

[A]

Ooh, but hold on. Pause. Just hear those words. Fill in the blanks. Necrotic bowel.

[B]

Yeah, not good.

[A]

That's gotta be the worst place to have necrosis.

[C]

It's nasty.

[A]

Do you have anything you put below your nose?

[C]

Sometimes we use mastisol. We'll just kind of dab it onto our masks. It smells like a tree. Like, it smells really like a pine tree almost. It smells really good. But, I mean, during pregnancy, I couldn't use that, so I just had to suffer.

[A]

And you're stuck to the smell. You can't distance yourself from it.

[C]

Oh, yeah. And it stays with you. You take that home.

[A]

Okay, so we're back in the downstairs basement.

[C]

So once the smell hits me, I, you know, at eight months pregnant, was dealing with a lot of nausea. It didn't agree with me. And on top of all the smells that I've ever smelled in my career, that one, in that moment, has to take the cake of the worst in my life. I did not handle it well.

[B]

More than necrotic bowel, it was the

[C]

perfect storm of everything.

[A]

Probably very heightened and exacerbated by your pregnancy. Right? Probably smelt differently to you then than it would today.

[C]

Exactly. And, I mean, it's like, right there. It's on my face. It's not going anywhere. I can't get away from it. So I started gagging and gagging and gagging, and I couldn't stop. And then I realized, okay, I'm getting to the point where something's gonna come up. So I ran to the bathroom, slammed the bathroom door, hit the floor, make it just in time to throw up into the toilet. And then after a few minutes of that, I hear a gentle knock on the door, and my boyfriend go, sarah, are you okay? No, ye. Not okay. I just had the worst thing happen to me.

[A]

I have a strange hunch you're not okay. I saw that you were on fire, and then now I hear you're throwing up violently. But I have a hunch. Are you not okay?

[C]

Definitely not okay. I ended up hopping into the shower, shampooed my hair probably five or six times, had a good cry about the fact that a big chunk of my

[A]

hair was missing, and you're already feeling your prettiest.

[B]

I have beautiful hair, by the way.

[C]

Thankfully, it's really long and thick, so it hid really well. I didn't have to go to my hairdresser and explain that to her. I ended up leaving the bathroom and going over to him. And he stepped up in that moment after the fact and comforted me a little bit. And I was thinking, okay, this is it. Like, he's not gonna touch me again until after this baby pops out. Our intimacy's done for months. And then he goes, I'm glad that you're okay. So do you wanna finish what we should talk about?

[A]

Okay, great. And I'm glad that was a plus for you. Cause I'm like, I'm sure he's gonna ask if he can finish.

[C]

Well, I said no. I went and took a nap.

[B]

Sure. That was a big adventure.

[A]

But you were relieved to hear he was still.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

This is what we try to tell everyone is our PSA announcements. Like, you're worried about how your bangs look. You think you have one dot of cellulite somewhere. Like, the things you're obsessing about. We still want to fuck. If you're on fire and wreak and just threw up, like, you don't need to worry about us.

[C]

Yeah. After two kids have come to realize that he doesn't care.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Nothing can really stand in the way.

[C]

Yep.

[A]

So you've had more than one now. That was number one.

[C]

Yeah, that was number one. And just about five months ago, we had our second.

[A]

Oh, congratulations.

[C]

Thank you so much.

[A]

Well, I'm really glad you didn't lose your whole mane.

[B]

Oh, that would have been tough.

[C]

I would have been devastated.

[B]

So you got it out by just patting it.

[C]

Right. Like, it would have been nice if you would have thrown me a glass of water, a blanket over my head or something. But no, I was on my own, so I just beat myself up a little.

[A]

Oh, man, Sarah, what a funny, clumsy, and really gone wrong scary scenario. Yeah, because hair goes up quick, right? You could lose your whole hair in seconds.

[B]

Scary.

[C]

Yeah, I learned that day. Sure does.

[B]

Oh, no, guys, cautionary tale.

[A]

Other PSA candles. They're very dangerous. People underestimate. They smell good, they're pretty. But, boy, they bring down a lot of houses.

[B]

You got to be careful if you're going to be a candle owner.

[C]

Definitely give me a healthy dose of paranoia.

[A]

They set a grandma on fire on Thanksgiving. That we know about.

[B]

Sure did. Thank you for calling and also for being a nurse and helping everyone. We love our nurses.

[C]

Oh, thank you. I'm so touched.

[A]

Do you get foreign body up there in Canada? Foreign object and body.

[E]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Craziest item you've seen.

[C]

I haven't been lucky enough to scrub in on one of those yet, but craziest I've heard of is probably an apple or a remote.

[B]

Yeah, we've heard Apple had an apple.

[C]

And it's always ifl. No, you didn't.

[B]

It's so sad. They think that's convincing.

[A]

Nothing's plausible, but that's the most plausible.

[B]

Well, no, it's not.

[A]

No, I know it's not plausible. But in their mind, what other option?

[B]

Maybe just say, put it up there.

[A]

I like having fun.

[C]

I guess if you're coming into the operating room to get an apple taken out of your ass, I mean, you just got to admit how you got.

[B]

Exactly. Exactly. I'm with you.

[A]

All right, Sarah. Well, enjoy your summer.

[C]

Thank you so much, you guys as well. I appreciate it.

[A]

All right, take care.

[C]

Bye. Bye.

[B]

Fire stories, cautionary tales. Sex gone wrong.

[A]

Always have a fire extinguisher when you have sex.

[B]

I used to have a fire extinguisher of my room.

[A]

Pop one on your bed.

[B]

Well, I can't, based on my bed frame.

[A]

I know. I don't like the fancy bed frames. Don't give you that gap. That's a useful bit of storage.

[B]

It is. I don't really need storage, but it would be good to hide a fire

[A]

extinguisher and a baseball bat and a shotgun.

[B]

Yeah, I'm good on that.

[A]

Okay, Emergency bottle.

[B]

That can fit in the nightstand. Okay. Hi. Hi.

[A]

Your name is Shayma. Is that an Irish name? What is that?

[E]

No, it's from North Africa. I'm from Algeria.

[A]

Okay, beautiful. So it is a Moorish origin.

[E]

It means like, very beautiful. To simplify it, we love that it's accurate.

[B]

Yes.

[E]

Thank you, guys.

[A]

So are you French?

[E]

Yes, I'm French. I'm from Paris.

[D]

Oh, wow.

[A]

And do you live there currently?

[E]

Yes.

[A]

Are you gonna host Monica for dinner next week?

[B]

Yeah, I'm gonna be in Paris in a couple weeks.

[E]

For what event?

[B]

Just play.

[E]

Ooh. You're gonna enjoy it because the weather is going to be super nice next week. Oh, I know. You're a fashion mogul, so you're gonna love it.

[B]

Coming from a Parisian.

[A]

Yeah, I went from fashionista to fashion mogul. I love that. Why do you speak English so well?

[E]

It's related to my story, but I used to work in fashion.

[A]

Oh, you're spraying.

[D]

I gotta go.

[B]

I am so excited.

[A]

What if you stood up and went straight to LAX and flew to Paris today? Okay, so you have a wild card story. We have no clue what it is we have photos, but we haven't looked at them. So please tell us to give you

[E]

a bit of context, it was in 2007. I was 19 years old and a fashion student, so in Paris in a fashion school. And our homework were mainly sewing clothes. It was late at night. I was swinging like a lot of people swing. I had the head pins in my mouth.

[B]

Oh, no.

[E]

At some point, I don't remember. It was really late. I cuffed or sneezed, I don't know, but I swallowed it.

[A]

You swallowed a bunch of pins? Oh, one pin.

[B]

Oh, no, no, that's horrible. Now, is it a safety pin or just one of the pins that's just straight with the little thing on the top?

[E]

Not the safety pin. This one.

[A]

The dangerous one that looks like a sewing needle? Probably.

[B]

Yeah, exactly.

[E]

Yeah, but just with a flat head.

[A]

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[E]

So I ran straight to my mom's room to wake her up and told her like I just follow the pin and say okay, let's go to the error to understand. My mom is a doctor and like few weeks earlier she told me, yeah, you should stop doing that because it's quite dangerous. Yeah, so she takes me to the er, we arrive, we meet the night shift doctor there. So I got a bunch of exam and especially radiography to have an image of where could be the pin. After that, the doctor comes and she says, okay, we need to go there, and you need to undress completely because I think the pin is on your body. You didn't swallow it.

[A]

What?

[E]

So I start to strip, and she checks everything. She says, yeah, it's not in your digestive system. I don't see it. It's near the boob, so it must be there. And I'm like, yeah, I'm pretty sure I felt it. But I listen, okay, and she finds nothing. She tells me, okay, you go home, eat some bread. If it's somewhere, it will just pass through.

[A]

Optimistic. I mean, this doesn't seem like it might pass through.

[E]

We go home. On the ride back, I tell my mom that's weird, because when I breathe, I can feel it. So I go home, I eat bread, I go to bed. Next morning, I wake up, I go to the kitchen. I find my mom. I can see she didn't sleep at all. And she called a friend of her that is a surgeon. And he came for breakfast after his night shift. The dude asked me, like two questions. He looked at my mom and said, it's in the lungs.

[B]

Oh, no.

[E]

So my mom, like, her eyes light up and she was like, dress up. Let's go to the er.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[E]

So we went back to the er, and fortunately or unfortunately for the doctor, the same doctor was there. And my mom got so pissed at her, she was screaming. You didn't believe her? It's probably in her lung. She could have collapsed. So they take other exam, and it's in the lungs. So I didn't swallow it. I inhaled it.

[B]

Oh, holy shit.

[A]

But what now?

[E]

I was admitted for surgery, so I spent three days in the hospital. They had to do a bronchoscopy. What was funny is that every nurse that were taking me from a room to another were all asking me, hey, why are you here? And I was explaining. And they were all laughing their ass off, like, what the fuck? And the Indians, they took it out.

[A]

They go in with a scope through your airwave into your lungs, okay? So they don't have to open up your skin or anything.

[E]

Exactly. But everything went well. They gave me back the pin. It was already rotting. Actually, I still have it somewhere in my house.

[B]

Oh, my God. You could have gotten it. Sepsis. A million things could have gone wrong, but definitely sepsis.

[E]

Rusting in the picture, you can see the pin. I was actually very lucky because I swallowed it on the right side, the flat side at the bottom.

[A]

And why is that lucky?

[E]

Because if it was the opposite, I think I would have cooked my lung.

[B]

Oh, here it is.

[A]

Oh, really?

[B]

Oh, we're bad at looking at these, by the way.

[E]

I thought it was gonna be on the computer so it was bigger. I didn't know I would.

[B]

No, we're just not good at, like.

[A]

Like, understand we'd be terrible radiologists because we did foreign objects in body last week, which this is a foreign object in body. But not. Not anal. Rectally. Analy.

[E]

That's how I titled my story, actually. A foreign object in body, not in Bed.

[B]

Oh, wow. Yeah. I can't believe it didn't puncture anything.

[E]

No. I got really lucky because I stood, like, for maybe 48 hours before they did surgery on me. And then after three days, it was okay. I didn't need antibiotics.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Really?

[E]

And then I went back to school, and so, like, everyone knew. Oh, when I arrived, I remember in my swing class, the teacher was Japanese with a real big Japanese accent, not speaking very good French. And he saw me and he just said, you stupid? And that's it.

[A]

A lot of fun cultural stuff going on.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Yeah. If you called a student and stupid in this country, there'd be, like, you'd go see the dean. There'd be a walkout.

[E]

You'd be surprised in France.

[B]

Yeah. Fashion is expensive on a lot of levels.

[A]

Oh, yeah, I could imagine. Maybe that's a common thing in the sewing world.

[E]

They tell us at the beginning, like, yeah, you have something to put the pin there. But, like, everyone puts it in the mouth. It's easier, like, to have it. And sometimes I could have, like, 10 pins in my mouth, which is stupid. I don't do it anymore.

[A]

I do it with screws. When I'm doing, like, wall anchors, I'll put all four. Or if I'm hammering stuff, I'll put all the nails in my mouth.

[B]

Maybe not anymore.

[E]

Yeah. Be careful.

[A]

Yeah, I'll just make sure I breathe through my nose.

[F]

Wow.

[A]

Oh, my Lord.

[B]

Well, I'm really glad you're okay.

[A]

Yeah. And Shaima, do you listen to the show? Yes, in France. When did you discover it?

[E]

Actually, it's a shout out to one of my best friends. She introduced me to the show. We do love a bookstore, so it's our favorite.

[A]

Good, good, good.

[E]

I actually listen to mostly American podcasts. You're on top of my list. I listen to you guys every week, so Now I put a face on the voices I listen to.

[A]

Oh, that's lovely. Yeah, we're flattered.

[B]

Very.

[A]

All right, well, say hi to Monica for me when you see her in Paris.

[E]

Oh, yeah, I hope so.

[B]

Well, this was lovely.

[E]

Thank you, guys. Thank you for welcoming me in the show. And can I give a final shout out?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Yes.

[E]

It's to my co worker Maria, because she likes the show and she's also listening to it. She's from Spain, actually.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[E]

So you can find base in Europe.

[C]

I love this.

[A]

Well, thank you, Shaima.

[E]

Thank you so much, guys. Enjoy your day.

[A]

Take care.

[E]

Bye.

[A]

I'm so charmed by the French accent.

[B]

Just love. Because they're so cool there. They're listening to us. It's really exciting.

[A]

Look at the camera. It looks like a magic trick kind of. Right, so there's this.

[B]

Wait, what? I'm not noticing. Look at the camera.

[A]

No, I'm sorry. Look at the screen and then look at this. And this is a. It's a magic trick. Oh, well, it wasn't a good magic trick, but here's a magic trick.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[A]

So, Right. It looks like it just changed to green. Wait, no, that wasn't a good magic trick. But here comes a good magic trick. Okay. What?

[B]

Uh. Oh.

[A]

Did you feel it? I think that's a really good magic trick.

[B]

Okay, do it again. That one was better. It's a really good magic trick.

[A]

I mean, so good at magic.

[B]

Yeah. And you don't even like magic now.

[A]

I do.

[B]

All it required was.

[A]

You like being able to do it.

[B]

Being able to do one trick.

[A]

Is that a shocker to you? I don't like anything I can't do.

[B]

That's crazy.

[A]

If I can't do it, it's for idiots. Oh, if I can do it, it's for kings.

[B]

Cool people.

[A]

It's for kings and heroes. Yeah, that's a good magic trick.

[B]

Okay, well, for the listener.

[A]

Oh, that's.

[B]

I want to say that was really.

[A]

People saw the trick.

[B]

It's just twisting the.

[A]

It's so fast that on the camera it does look like. Watch one more time. I'm the cutest little boy ever made. Watch me jump. Watch me play. I'm the cutest little boy ever made. Watch me jump. Watch me play.

[B]

Hello.

[D]

Hey, guys.

[E]

How are you?

[A]

Oh, Alex, I'm so envious of the denseness of your hair.

[B]

You have nice hair.

[A]

You have plumage.

[D]

Thank you. I grew it myself.

[A]

You probably take it for granted.

[D]

Yeah, I think so. I have a lot of optionality. When I want to cut my hair. Can't complain, though.

[A]

Yeah, you could go long. Everything's on the table for you. Could even have a shaved head. I bet you would look great.

[D]

I've done that before. I used to cut my hair in college and I made a lot of mistakes, so I ended up having to shave it off. Clean slate.

[A]

Yeah. And how do you look with a shave head? Pretty good.

[D]

I don't know. You have to ask my wife.

[A]

Okay, I will.

[B]

Yeah. Look at you. And try not to brag.

[A]

I know he's humble and handsome.

[B]

Yeah. And then you're a skier.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

Good job, Monica.

[B]

I finally see.

[A]

Doesn't it feel fun?

[B]

It's all right. It's all right. I wish I hadn't done it.

[A]

But you're a cross country skier. Gear.

[D]

These are actually old, vintage alpine skis from, like, the 40s. Oh.

[A]

Back before you had rear bindings. And people would do that weird pirouetting

[D]

thing even before that. Where skiing was actually just used for transportation and not for pleasure or leisure.

[B]

That sounds miserable, actually, because you're just, like, trekking.

[A]

You gotta get somewhere. You're, like, in the Finnish military at that point.

[D]

Yeah, exactly.

[A]

Where are you at, Alex?

[D]

I am in my home in Morrison, Colorado.

[A]

Okay, great. We would hope it was an alpine location with the ski thing.

[D]

I'm originally from Ottawa, Canada, which is not mountainous. I moved here 13 years ago, strategically,

[A]

to pursue a life of skiing.

[D]

Yeah, well, my life was skiing. And actually there's a lot of. This story is based around one of those experiences.

[A]

Oh, wonderful, Wonderful.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

And you're liking Colorado? Did you marry an American?

[D]

Married a Colorado. And we met in college in Big Sky State. Montana.

[B]

Oh, nice. Big Sky. Great skiing.

[D]

Yeah. So the mountains have always been calling.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

And it's a good place. Right. If you got to pick an American state and you're from Canada, that's a pretty good transition.

[D]

100. I first visited Colorado when I was 14. And it was one of those things. I went home and my mom's like, how was it? I'm like, I'm gonna move there. I'm gonna live there one day. And it was one of those, like, pat on the head. That's really cute, honey.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah. I thought, you know what? Somehow immigration, who knows? We'll make it.

[B]

You did it.

[A]

Okay, so you have a wild card story. Please tell us.

[D]

Yes. So this story is being pulled from the archives, which took place 26 years ago. And I'll preface this with the fact that it's not A tremendously fun story, but it's a two generation story of fate with a healthy dose of stimulation theory.

[B]

We love it.

[A]

Stimulation simulation. Oh, simulation theory. I was like, I'm unaware of stimulation theory, but I could easily make sim story.

[D]

Yeah, Sam. So this takes place in November of 2000 in a small town called Caprun in Austria. And there's a ski glacier there called Kitzsteinhorn. But I was a sophomore at a ski racing academy in Vermont. And this is kind of where the simulation starts. My mom went to that school and was in the first graduating class in 1976.

[A]

In Vermont or Austria?

[D]

In Vermont. And I was the first second generation student to attend that school. But for context, both of our graduating classes were six or less.

[A]

Oh my God. Wow.

[D]

About 60 kids in the school. Ish. So this isn't a massive legacy high school where several generations attend. This school was regimented. We skied December through April nearly every day between racing and training. And in the falls, we would play varsity soccer against other schools in Vermont. But predominantly we would spend August or October in very scheduled heavy dry land and weight training sessions in preparation for the ski season.

[A]

Can I ask how you had enough students to assemble a soccer team? You need quite a few players for that.

[D]

Everybody played 60s enough, but through all the grades.

[E]

Right.

[A]

His grade was only six.

[B]

I know, but it's all the grades.

[D]

Yeah. Freshmen's played on the same team as seniors. It was a collective. We weren't the strongest, but it was one of those requisites we had to play. But we do dryland training for the fall months. And I only tell you this to paint the picture on how regimented things were. And scheduling was a huge focus. Once the dryline season was over, end of October, we would search for snow.

[E]

No.

[D]

And being in the east coast, we'd usually find ourselves in Europe in late October, early November, and then here in Colorado end of November for training and some early season races and stuff.

[A]

I got to ask a personal question and it's probably shame inducing, but your parents have to have money, right? This sounds hugely expensive to have your kid in the school.

[D]

It's expensive. We had a lot of help from my grandparents.

[A]

Oh, that's nice.

[D]

Very fortunate.

[F]

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[D]

So in 2000, our snow search took us to Austria. This little town of Caprun. Our plan was to be there for two weeks before making it back to the US and then out to the Rockies. Now Caprun is a small town in the Salzburg province of the Austrian Alps. It's hugely quintessential with overpowering smell of cow shit. But it had a ton of classic wooden structures, wooden shutters, all those things. So very picturesque. But we were going to be there for 12 days, training 10 of those days. Days given. We were a bunch of high schoolers, some more unhinged and unpredictable than others. We were on that tight schedule that I was talking about. They kept tabs on all of us. But our daily schedule would be consistent. You know, wake up at 7:30, we go for a quick jog or warm up, we'd have breakfast and then we'd grab all our gear, pile into some vans and go to the bottom of the mountain to catch the 9 o' clock a.m. funicular train which took us up to the base of the ski area area. And for those that don't know what a funicular is, it's a really steep frame that goes through a cutout tunnel into the mountain to the base of the glacier. So we're two and a half miles in a tunnel before opening up and being at the base where all the lodges are. So we follow this schedule for the first four days. It was intended for us to follow that. The fifth day, November 11th, our last day of training before our first day off. This is when disaster struck. Truck. Thinking back, using my high school memory, we had lost power at the hotel which reset all the clocks in the hotel. So if you remember, no cell phones, no alarm clocks to maintain that schedule. So our coaches woke us up early and we deviated from that schedule. But for us, I mean, it felt like a normal day. We woke up warm up eight bands, bands, base of the mountain and we got there for the first train, which is at 8 o' clock o'.

[E]

Clock.

[D]

We reached the base of the glacier and it was a beautiful day. There were no clouds, bright blue sky. For those that are sea enthusiasts, fresh groomed trails. I mean this thing was like ready for us. And it felt like we're the only ones there. It was predominantly serviced by T bars, so we were expected to be on those T bars as soon as we had all of our gear on and our coaches would go up and start setting the courses and, and the training for the day.

[A]

We should probably explain a T bar because I don't think people who haven't skied understand what that is.

[D]

It's a lift that, I mean, honestly, it looks like an upside down tee and it goes behind your butt and the cable just pulls you up.

[A]

It's like being on a tow rope. But you don't have to go on

[D]

to the toe rope.

[A]

You're now leaning on this bracket.

[D]

And the thing with T bars is, you know, if you've been on them, sometimes you fall or it gets caught in your clothes and if that happens, you fall and you get dragged up the mountain until the T bar stops by the operator, you can reset. So my friend and I were on the T bar, probably on our second or third warmup run. And this is around 9 o'. Clock. And this is when the T bar stopped abruptly. And again we thought someone had fallen, but ten minutes had gone by, which started to feel a little bit too long. So we started commenting on how, you know, the lifty probably needs to go get a shot of schnapps or whatever it was and bring some levity to the fact that we haven't had moved in a while. But this is when our coaches started skiing down to every single occupied T bar, asking everyone to grab their stuff and head to the base. This is when we turned around and got off and we saw a large black plume of smoke in the air coming from the train area with flames shooting out of the building.

[C]

What?

[B]

Oh, my God.

[D]

The black smoke was such a contrast path through the blue sky. And the air began to smell like burnt plastics. The 9 o' clock train was the one that we were scheduled to be on that day. It had malfunctioned in the tunnel, causing the two trains to emergency stop inside the tunnel and sparking a fire that engulfed both trains and the entire tunnel.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

My God.

[D]

An emergency exit door at the top. The tunnel had been left open. So. So the wind tunnel effect fueled the flames, putting everything and everyone in the tunnel in an uncontrollable inferno.

[E]

Whoa.

[B]

Holy shit.

[D]

There were 161 people trapped who died that day.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[D]

12 people ended up escaping in the last train. They broke a window and escaped down below the fire and the smoke towards the base of the train at this Point in our lives, there were no cell phones, especially for high school kids. We had no way of checking in with or contacting our parents in live time. And given the time difference between Austria and eastern U.S. our parents woke up to breaking world news of a train that had caught fire at the glacier we were at, killing every passenger.

[B]

Can you imagine being a parent here? I mean, oh my God.

[A]

Also, only 12 out of 172 people. That's wild.

[D]

It took us several hours to evacuate the ski area, which was done using one large tram that wasn't in service for the last year. So we did one tram at a time. You know, they wanted to make sure the cables were healthy enough so they didn't overload these trams. So it took us a long time. And while we waited, this is when we started to see body bags being pulled from the top of the train station. Medical helicopters doing the rounds consistently. And it was loud and it was chaotic, which was a polarizing experience to the environment that we were in. Right. It's beautiful. And now you have this chaos. One of my classmates was covered in black ash because while we were skiing, he was tending to a broken boot and he was sitting on a bench facing the sliding doors to the tunnel when the initial burst of smoke and flames came up into the tunnel. He ended up being fine and unscathed. But he reminded me of. Remember the boy in the original Mary Poppins that stuck his face into the cannon?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, man.

[D]

So it kind of looked like that. Blasted by soot, from what I'm told. Our parents called the school in a frenzy, as parents would, and they were told they thought we were okay. And it wasn't before we got back to the hotel that we were able to call our parents and do the wellness check and let them know that we were fine. And to your point earlier, Monica, you know, as a parent Now I have two girls, 7 11. I can't even imagine the type of terrified anxiety or worry that our parents felt while they waited for a call.

[B]

Yeah, Is a true nightmare.

[A]

I hate to bring levity to it, but I will say, when you finally called your parents, that would have been an ideal time to also unload some secret you had.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

Like I made it. Also, I'm the one who crashed the car in the garage, and I didn't say anything. Anything you said they wouldn't have given a shit about at that point.

[D]

I think I might have been 15 years old. I didn't have that forethought. But if I could go back in time. I likely would have confessed to something. Things.

[B]

Did you think about it a lot after?

[D]

Yeah, I mean, I think about it often. We've got lots of tunnels here in Colorado. And in tunnels now these days still, it's one of those things where I'm always looking for the exit doors and it's just one of those traumas that have stayed.

[A]

There was a funicular accident in Austria recently. Again. Right.

[D]

I hadn't heard that. But that would be really unfortunate because

[A]

we were there a few summers ago, by the way. We're in that area. And then we also took one up in a little town called Hallstatt. Dead. And there's a big funicular. And. Yeah. Every time you're on them, you're like, I guess this works. You know, you're at like a 45 degree angle.

[D]

Yeah. And you're sardined.

[A]

And it's just a straight shot down a mountain. You're like, oh, no. But the brakes will deploy. Blah, blah, blah. It's always a little hairy, those things, certainly.

[D]

So whatever had happened that night before, whatever had prompted our coaches to wake us up earlier and we start the day earlier. I mean, we were scheduled to be on that train. That's a slice of pieces.

[B]

Fate.

[D]

But here's where the simulation comes back. So In June of 1975, during my mom's junior year at the same school. Dude. Returning to the east coast from a ski training camp at Mount Hood with the US Ski Team, her flight from Portland had mechanical issues and was delayed. She was intended to go from Portland to Chicago. Chicago, jfk, and then up to Montreal, where my grandparents would pick her up. But because of that delay, she missed that connecting flight in Chicago by minutes. The plane was still there, but the doors were shut kind of thing.

[B]

Thing.

[D]

That flight from Chicago to JFK ended up hitting a massive microburst in the final approach and the plane crashed, killing the passengers on that.

[B]

Stop it.

[A]

That is impossible.

[B]

Oh, my.

[A]

You're knocking.

[D]

Yeah. Knock on wood for sure.

[B]

That is crazy.

[D]

Yeah. My mom reminded me of that story when I told her I was going to come on and speak with you both. She's like, do you remember that whole plane thing? That was when I was at that school, too. And I was like, you know what? If anyone's going to appreciate the simulation, it's these two. So I'm going to bring it up.

[B]

You two are the luckiest people alive.

[A]

Obvious thought is, you're not going to now send one of your kids to that school, are you like, how many times do you guys need to, like, dodge?

[B]

Okay, well, I'm going to knock on wood, but they'd be okay. But you would be causing some other.

[A]

Yeah, you might be sentencing some people to tragedy.

[B]

Wow, that is wild. Wild.

[A]

Wild Card lived up to its name. Wild Card.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Have you been back there?

[D]

Not to that glacier, no. But I've been back to Austria before. I love Austria. It's such a beautiful country.

[A]

You feel like you're in a storybook the whole time.

[D]

For sure. Both my girls ski now and they're starting to do their thing with that. And my goal is to get them over to the Alps at some point or the Dolomites and have them skiing there and just for them to see it. I know that my youngest will they. Oh, it looks like the town from Frozen.

[A]

They tell people in Halstead that the town of Arendelle was modeled after it.

[D]

Oh, was it?

[A]

It wasn't. But they say that that's like the lore there, but it's actually not true. But, yes, it does look very much like Arendelle from Frozen. Did the skiing stay fun for you? It sounds so regimented. I'm wondering, was it fun throughout all that? It must have been because you stuck with it.

[D]

I love the sport. So actually I skied through high school and then took two years off and skied full time. And then I went to college in Montana, where I met my wife beat in college. It was a great sport. Very fortunate to have experienced everything that I did. And if my kids want to, that's great. But it's one of those things where I just want it to be fun for them. I want the story years from now to be, well, we just skied. That's just kind of what we did. And I do want them to be better than their spouses.

[B]

Yeah, that's fair.

[A]

And that's a healthy bar. You can hit that target just fine.

[D]

Yeah. Wow.

[A]

Oh, well, it's lovely meeting you, Alex.

[B]

So nice to meet you. That's a really crazy story.

[D]

Likewise. It's okay. My wife is here as well.

[B]

Yes, bring her in.

[A]

I want see her, the thickness of her hair. Let's see what these kids got.

[D]

She's got a good head, too, my wife Lauren. So she introduced me to armchair. She is a day one listener. I remember the first episode we listened to was your first meeting with Michael Pollan. It was fascinating and I became hooked ever since. So you're our road trip buddies, our long commute buddies, weekends up to the mountains buddies. So we're with you guys all the time. Hello.

[B]

This is a small ass closet.

[A]

Yeah. I want to get a good look at you.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Great hair, everybody.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

And great teeth in this and overalls. And when did you start skiing?

[B]

Well, I skied when I was 14 and then started snowboarding a couple years later. And it was crazy that he dated a snowboarder because everyone's like, it's very incestuous, and they all date each other. But then I broke the mold, and now I'm skiing again because we have kids, and it sucks.

[A]

I switched two years ago from Snowboarding out after 40 years of it back to skiing. It's so much easier.

[F]

It is.

[B]

Sorry, Alex.

[A]

Not to be great. Just like you're not unstrapping and strapping back in. And you can be on flat ground. You don't care.

[B]

Yeah. It hurts a lot less. And it's easier on our aging bodies.

[A]

Yeah. Well, it's so nice to meet you.

[B]

Very nice to meet both of you.

[D]

Yeah, you as well. This has been so fun. Thanks for sharing the time. And, Dax, your chair looks a lot more comfortable than I pictured.

[A]

People get worried because it's not a proper lazy boy, but it's plenty calm. Comfortable.

[B]

Mine's only okay if I'm being honest.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I could add a little cushion back here, you know. Yeah, a little kush.

[A]

All right, y'.

[E]

All.

[A]

Well, have a great summer up there. I hope it's a beautiful one for you.

[E]

Thank you so much.

[D]

Thank you as well. Thank you.

[A]

Okay, take care.

[B]

Okay. Well, that was wild.

[A]

Love you. That was wild. And, Cardi, do you want to sing

[E]

a tune or something? We don't have a theme song.

[A]

Oh, okay. Okay, great. We don't have a them song for this new show, so here I go. Go, go. We're going to ask some random questions, and with the help of arm cherries, we'll get some suggestions on the fly rhyme dish. On the fly rhyme dish. Enjoy.