A Very Self Indulgent Suggestion

Summary

Podcast Summary: Armstrong & Getty On Demand

Episode Title: A Very Self Indulgent Suggestion
Release Date: March 3, 2025
Host: Armstrong & Getty
Produced by: iHeartPodcasts

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1. Introduction to the Topic

In the episode titled "A Very Self Indulgent Suggestion," Armstrong and Getty delve into the realm of high-end consumer products, sparking a humorous and insightful discussion about the value and practicality of exorbitantly priced items. The conversation is marked by witty banter and playful skepticism, setting the tone for an engaging exploration of luxury goods.

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2. Exploring Wirecutter’s Recommendations

Armstrong initiates the discussion by sharing his recent experience with Wirecutter, a New York Times-affiliated product recommendation service. He highlights the platform's commitment to unbiased reviews, free from sponsorships or monetary influences.

• Armstrong [03:07]: "Their ethics are they don't take any sponsorship, they don't take any money, they don't get to keep the products, and they review all these different things."

He praises Wirecutter for its comprehensive and honest evaluations, mentioning specific products like non-stick frying pans available at various price points. This sets the stage for his segue into the main topic—the ultra-luxurious Hostins mattress.

• Armstrong [04:05]: "Most of them are crap. And they'll have like, you know, the best white T-shirt for men and it'll have 10 different options, different price points and why they're good and you know how they hold up and wash in the price."

Getty echoes Armstrong's sentiments, appreciating the rarity of genuine, reliable product reviews in the current market landscape.

• Getty [03:58]: "And that's so hard to find now. Yeah, actual honest, you know, ratings and reviews and stuff like that."

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3. Deep Dive into the Hostins 2000T Mattress

Armstrong transitions to discussing the star of the episode: the Hostins 2000T mattress—a fictional, outrageously priced luxury mattress touted for its unparalleled comfort and longevity.

• Armstrong [04:19]: "This is why this one stands out so much. The headline being, 'I wish this $56,000 mattress weren't so incredible.'"

He humorously exaggerates the features and costs, describing the mattress's composition and the meticulous craftsmanship involved.

• Armstrong [05:24]: "Hostins would lend her the mattress to sleep on for several weeks, along with the box spring and headboard with. If you get the box spring, headboard, and the mattress, that brings you to $75,000."

Getty responds with mock enthusiasm, indicating a playful disbelief at the exorbitant price.

• Getty [05:24]: "I'm getting one of these right away."

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4. Humorous Examination of Mattress Features

The hosts dive deeper into the fantastical qualities of the Hostins mattress, blending satire with inventive descriptions to highlight the absurdity of such luxury items.

• Armstrong [06:15]: "Horsehair is the star of the show in every Hostins mattress. I promise this is interesting. The horse mane and tail strands are heated, heat-treated, braided, and then steamed to create a permanent curl."

He continues to embellish the mattress's features with comedic flair, painting a vivid and exaggerated picture of its benefits and the elaborate maintenance it requires.

• Getty [07:03]: "I just can't get past a mental picture of a bunch of shaved horses running around Sweden wishing they had their hair back."

The conversation takes a humorous turn as Armstrong describes his personal "sleep spa" experience at Hostins' flagship store, highlighting the surreal nature of such luxury shopping.

• Armstrong [07:03]: "Shopping at Hostins felt like a meditation session in a cool, quiet studio. Relax, blah, blah, blah, blah."

The duo pokes fun at the impractical aspects of owning such an expensive mattress, particularly the mandatory regular massaging service to maintain its pristine condition.

• Getty [11:23]: "All right, this sounds like a pain in the ass."
• Armstrong [11:39]: "You're what, though? It's made with a whore's hair. It's very complicated."

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5. Final Thoughts and Conclusions

The episode wraps up with Armstrong reflecting on the allure and impracticality of such lavish purchases. He humorously contemplates sacrificing other financial priorities to afford the Hostins mattress, underscoring the satire of consumer excess.

• Armstrong [12:35]: "I have so much trouble sleeping. I could see if I slept on one of those and it's as great as they describe, I might decide you know what? I'm gonna drive a 20-year-old Toyota Corolla for the rest of my life and I don't know, donate plasma every Saturday."

Getty adds to the humor by making a quip about the potential consequences of owning the mattress, further emphasizing the comedic critique of excessive consumerism.

• Getty [13:07]: "I just hope they carve out a little bit of that $60,000 to buy a nice wig for the now hairless."

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Armstrong [03:07]: "Their ethics are they don't take any sponsorship, they don't take any money, they don't get to keep the products, and they review all these different things."
• Getty [03:58]: "And that's so hard to find now. Yeah, actual honest, you know, ratings and reviews and stuff like that."
• Armstrong [05:24]: "Hostins would lend her the mattress to sleep on for several weeks, along with the box spring and headboard... that brings you to $75,000."
• Getty [07:03]: "I just can't get past a mental picture of a bunch of shaved horses running around Sweden wishing they had their hair back."
• Getty [11:23]: "All right, this sounds like a pain in the ass."
• Armstrong [12:35]: "I have so much trouble sleeping. I could see if I slept on one of those and it's as great as they describe, I might decide you know what? I'm gonna drive a 20-year-old Toyota Corolla for the rest of my life and I don't know, donate plasma every Saturday."

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Conclusion

"A Very Self Indulgent Suggestion" serves as a humorous critique of extreme consumerism and the lengths to which individuals might go in pursuit of unparalleled luxury and comfort. Through witty dialogue and exaggerated scenarios, Armstrong and Getty engage listeners in a lighthearted examination of value, necessity, and the often absurd nature of high-end products.

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Note: This summary excludes all advertisement segments and non-content sections to focus solely on the core discussion between Armstrong and Getty.

Transcript

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[Armstrong]

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[Getty]

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[Armstrong]

You ever win the lottery and want to be self indulgent, I got an idea for you. It's one more thing Armstrong and Getty One more thing. I'll start here. Joel will have to help me. How do you pronounce an A with the two dots over it.

[Getty]

Is it German?

[Armstrong]

Swedish, I think.

[Getty]

Yeah.

[Armstrong]

Um, lot. Well, that's the.

[Getty]

Well, no, that's. That's the symbol.

[Armstrong]

Yeah. I was wondering how you pronounce the. Anyway, the, the brand is H A S T E N S. With the thing. I'll call it Hostins. Close enough. Close. Anyway, so I mentioned last week this thing the New York Times has called wire cutter. And they recommend products and I've kind of gotten sucked into it and I've purchased a bunch of things from the recommendations. I really like it. Their, their, their ethics are they don't take any sponsorship, they don't take any money, they don't get to keep the products and they, they review all these different things and tons of things. Like I bought a frying pan the other day. They said the best nonsticks frying pan you can get. And one of the reasons it's so popular is it's not like you might expect out of the New York Times. The always the most expensive thing out there. It's very regularly. You can get this at target for 20 bucks or, or if you want to really splurge. This one's $200. But it's only this much better or whatever. It just, it has and I've been very happy with a bunch of things I purchased from it and blah, blah.

[Getty]

And that's so hard to find now. Yeah, actual honest, you know, ratings and reviews and stuff like that.

[Armstrong]

Yeah, most of them are crap. Yeah. And they'll have like, you know, the best white T shirt for men and it'll have 10 different options, different price points and why they're good and you know how they hold up and wash in the price. Whatever. You get the point.

[Getty]

This, I need a good beefy tea. I remember. Do they still have the Hanes beefy tea? Because so many places you go, the T shirts are like double washed for softness.

[Armstrong]

Right.

[Getty]

And they're super form fitting. I don't want super form fitting. All right. I did it to age 20. I don't know.

[Armstrong]

Says I look worse with this shirt on than with I. If I didn't have a shirt on.

[Getty]

Yeah.

[Armstrong]

Anyway, so this is why this one stands out so much. The headline being, I wish this $56,000 mattress weren't so incredible. From this reviewer. As a Wirecutters resident sleep expert, I've tested nearly a hundred mattresses, including a dozen of those in my own home. I've slept on everything from affordable bed in a box. I got my son one of those pretty Cool to ten thousand dollar mattresses made from materials developed for Massa. While I've found decent, even wonderful options across the spectrum, none of them have compared to the Hostins 2000T. It also costs $55,780.

[Getty]

I'm getting one of these right away.

[Armstrong]

Hostins would lend her the mattress to sleep on for several weeks, along with the box spring and headboard with. If you get the box spring, headboard and the mattress, that brings you to $75,000.

[Getty]

Well, if you, you got it, you got to get the package because they fit together. I mean, it's a unit, it's a team.

[Armstrong]

Hostin's derived from the Swedish word for horse. Of course, you knew that. Was founded in 1852 as a saddle making business. It shifted to luxury bed making in the 20th century. All of its mattresses are handcrafted from the same materials. Horse hair, wool, flax, cotton and steel coils. The company one of the big selling points of this one of the selling points of this mattress. It will last.

[Getty]

Smells like a horse.

[Armstrong]

Yeah. One of the selling points of the mattress is it will last a lifetime. So if you're a rich person who buys expensive mattresses and you started at age 5 and live to be 200, you might break even. But on having one mattress your whole life. But still, Horsehair is the star of the show in every Hostins mattress. I promise this is interesting. The horse mane and tail strands are heated, heat treated, braided, and then steamed to create a permanent curl. An expensive process which, according to Hostins, is the is main reason this bed is so different. The curls are dense enough to create a loose, springy structure that feels airy, yet supportive. The fibers are hollow. This helps the mattress feel breathable by wicking away moisture and excess heat. Okay.

[Getty]

I just can't get past a mental picture of a bunch of shaved horses running around Sweden wishing they had their hair back.

[Armstrong]

Hasan's usually requires potential buyers to try mattresses and purchase before purchasing one. Of course, you wouldn't want to just buy it online. A $60,000 mattress. So I embarked on a sleep spa experience at the company's flagship store in New York. There are 13 mattresses in the line, ranging from 14,000 to $600,000. And I was able to try each mattress at my own pace in a dimmed room, swallowed in a down comforter with two pillows for my head, one for my knees. Ambient music playing There was a person lying in the bed across them, guiding me to scan my body to assess. The feeling is my Hip and back. If a mattress fell unsupported, a bed Somalia to help you choose the right one. That's exactly right. Shopping at Hostins felt like a meditation session in a cool, quiet studio. Relax, blah, blah, blah, blah. After 45 minutes, I landed on the 2000T soft. Here's the part that I really liked that I thought was quite amazing. I know from years of mattress testing that comfort is subjective and no single mattress will work for everyone. That being said, sleeping on the 2000T feels like nothing I've ever felt before. When I settle in, the mattress conforms just enough to my whole body to sink into it, while what feels like a thousand little hands support me from below.

[Getty]

Don't touch me there.

[Armstrong]

Like a bunch of little Oompa Loompas. The closest comparison I can think of is floating in a sensory deprivation chamber. When I lay on the Hostins, I feel weightless, like I'm bobbing on a pool of water calibrated to my exact body temperature. I can barely tell whether a mattress ends and my body begins, regardless of what position I'm in. That sounds pretty freaking cool. Yeah.

[Getty]

I mean, because I want for my.

[Armstrong]

Next birthday, I had the same look on my face that you've had up until this point. Like, okay, get to explaining how great this. But if it feels like you're not laying on anything, like you're just actually just floating in body temperature air with no pressure on any point of your body, that's a pretty appealing feeling. I've never had it, but wow. Unlike the slow sink of memory foam or the cushion of a padded pillow top, the horsehair in a Hosta's mattress has a natural springiness, yet it's just as soft and far more breathable. I'm a hot sleeper. I never once woke up sweaty. Below the horsehair, 2,340 individual springs offer a sensation that is as delightful to experience as it is difficult to describe. But imagine being suspended in a tide of soft, shifting air. Imagine being suspended on a tide of soft, shifting air, cradled jet free. I gotta admit, I'd like to try this once. I would never. I would never, even if I could afford it. Buy one of these. Oh, maybe if I could afford it, I would. I mean. Well, it actually makes that point at the end of the article.

[Getty]

Well, I just. Before we move on, just to clarify, you are saying horse hair and not whores hair, right? This is not the. The harvested hair of sex workers. Right?

[Armstrong]

People exchange of. People exchange money for sex.

[Getty]

Yeah, exactly. Just, you know, I got that Oscar winning movie on my mind.

[Armstrong]

No, the common beast of burden as seen in western movies.

[Getty]

Ah, the horse. Yes, I'm familiar. There's one now.

[Armstrong]

Hey, come here. I got an idea for your hair.

[Getty]

Hold still.

[Armstrong]

After a couple of weeks on the mattress, I could feel the. This. This part is amazing.

[Getty]

Okay. All right.

[Armstrong]

After a couple of weeks on the mattress, I can feel the material start to compress together, creating lumps. After I got up in the morning, you'd think, man, two weeks into my $56,000 bed, I'm starting to feel lumps. I think, all right, somebody's gonna get a beating, right? But that's normal, assures Hostins, because the mattress requires regular complimentary massaging. Yes, every mattress sold by Hostins comes with a which hostage employees visit your home to loosen up the materials and redistribute them to prevent the mattress from settling into a U shaped valley. Each hostin's owner is an entitled to the service for a decade or more with the mattress.

[Getty]

All right, this sounds like a pain in the ass. Yeah. Wait a minute.

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[Armstrong]

And massaging my mattress on a regular basis. That's weird.

[Getty]

Hey, Joe, can you play golf tomorrow? No, I'm due to have my mattress massaged, so I gotta be.

[Armstrong]

You're what, though? It's made with a whore's hair. It's very complicated.

[Getty]

You're going to get a massage on your mattress? No, the mattress itself is getting a massage.

[Armstrong]

What? The point they make about spending the money, though, is I have a pretty expensive piano. This person says that I play sometimes. Many of us stretch our budgets for a fancier car, marble countertops, or whatever. We spend a third of our time on earth asleep. Our mattresses are among the most intimate, constant companions of our lives. One of your most prized possessions was your bed instead of your car or something else you care about. The. The having to have somebody come to my home multiple times a year and massage my bed does sound like pain in the ass. The other description of you can't even tell you're laying on anything. It's just like you're floating. That part's cool. Untouched.

[Getty]

That sounds amazing.

[Armstrong]

It does sound absolutely amazing. And I wonder what to be like to sleep like that. I'd like to try it once until it starts getting lumpy and needs a massage. That's so weird to me. I have so much trouble sleeping. I could see if I. If I slept on one of those and it's as great as they describe, I might decide you know what? I'm gonna drive a 20 year old Toyota Corolla for the rest of my life and I don't know, donate plasma every Saturday. Figure out a way to get one of these beds.

[Getty]

I just hope they carve out a little bit of that $60,000 to buy a nice wig for the now hairless.

[Armstrong]

Whore who's not gonna get his money donated because not that many people want to have sex with a bald woman.

[Getty]

Exactly.

[Armstrong]

Well, I guess that's.

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