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Jack Armstrong
Broadcasting live. Live from the Abraham Lincoln Radio studio at the George Washington Broadcast Center, Jack Armstrong and Joe Getty.
Joe Getty
Armstrong and Getty. And now here's Armstrong and Getty. Armstrong and Getty. Except we're not actually here.
Michael
We're home.
Joe Getty
Hope you enjoy this carefully curated Armstrong and Getty replay.
Matthew Seedorf
So I just got a statement from the mayor's office about five minutes ago saying that this is tragic and unacceptable. And then they're gonna be out there tomorrow offering resources and help and trying to clean up this area the best they can.
Joe Getty
What are we talking about? The Mayor of Los Angeles. What's tragic and unacceptable? SSJs, my friend. SSJs. Subterranean sewer junkies. The shocking report from Matthew Seedorf of Fox 11 LA. They do a great job talking about, well, subterranean sewer junkies. Matthew will start with 30 and work our way. Michael, talk to us. Matthew.
Matthew Seedorf
An up close exclusive look underground at living conditions too extreme for words. It's hard to imagine someone living in there. Trash, human waste and an overpowering stench.
Joe Getty
I got it. I gotta get back.
Matthew Seedorf
Just moments earlier, we watched someone climb out of that storm drain using the sewer as shelter. Her answers hard to understand. But the area, 88th and South grand, overwhelmed with RVs, tents and trash.
Joe Getty
Wow.
Michael
How far down the road of being a junkie do you have to be before you make those decisions? Of course they're gonna. They portray this all as homelessness and, you know, and the lack of affordable housing. You can't.
Joe Getty
Well, I. I don't. I don't think Matthew and Fox 11 do. Frequently it is, but.
Michael
But the world will. The world at large will, because you don't. Just like you can't afford someplace to live and decide. I'll go live in the sewer.
Joe Getty
I'll go live in wet filth in the sewer. Yeah. Years ago, I read a book. I wish I. It might have been entitled the Mole People. It was a journalist, a writer, who went down into the legendary, much discussed bowels of the subway system of New York City, including closed stations and no longer used tubes and the rest of it, and found like small cities of people living down there. Some were down on their luck, some were bums, junkies, some were mentally ill, but just crazy. Crazy. If I can find that title, I'll tweet it or something or post it armstrongandgiddy.com, fascinating book. Out of date, but fascinating. Matthew Seedorf continues.
Matthew Seedorf
Juan Nala with nonprofit Clean la. With me was picking up garbage here Monday.
Neighbor
We got a lady living down there.
Matthew Seedorf
When he saw not one, but two people emerge from the storm drain.
Neighbor
I can't explain that, you know, a person living like a rat, Worse than a rat. Come on. Hello.
Matthew Seedorf
And just two weeks ago, it happened again. Somebody's living in another street in south la. Another person living underground is a human.
Neighbor
Is a human being. Why are we accepting this? Why? All the officials, they have to do something. They have to fix this problem.
Joe Getty
Ah, there we have it. All the officials, they have to do something. Why do we accept this? Oh, boy. And that lovely human emotion has led to the waste of billions, tens of billions of dollars in the state of Cal Unicornia alone.
Michael
Joe, we're all one medical bill away from living in the sewer.
Joe Getty
Incorrect, sir. The title of the book I referred to, thank you very much, Katie. The Mole People. Life in the Tunnels beneath New York City.
Michael
So I'm not exactly. I don't know that much about big city sewers. So where are you exactly in relation to the city's poo?
Joe Getty
I believe it is part of your world.
Michael
Are you like neck deep in it
Joe Getty
or you live in watershed property on the Poop River.
Michael
So what, what is it? I mean, I don't, I don't.
Katie
I've seen a couple of, like, YouTube documentaries of. Of people that have gone down there and it's like ankle up to your ankles walking around in sludge, but just ankle deep. Yeah, you're. It's just your ankles is not a big deal.
Joe Getty
Fecal matter. That's right, Dr. Johnny.
Michael
Ankle deep in the human waist.
Joe Getty
Yes, yes.
Michael
Holy crap. If you pardon Expression.
Joe Getty
That is. It's certainly. Look, I will join that Hispanic fellow in announcing.
Orderly Meds Alternate Announcer
That's.
Joe Getty
That's a. It's a rough way to live. Like a rat. Oh, wow.
Michael
And is it pitch dark down there? What are they using for light?
Joe Getty
Flashlights?
Katie
Yeah. I mean, they have certain little light fixtures that they hang, but if they
Michael
didn't, are there dry places to sleep or.
Katie
They saw it.
Joe Getty
So.
Katie
Yeah, in the particular video that I saw, a lot of them had hammocks that they would climb up in.
Joe Getty
There you go. And comfortable. I'm not an expert in this by any means, but there is an intersection of storm drains sometimes and sewers. That's changed from the olden days when they used to be the same thing. Like in London, famously, if it rained, you know, everybody's poop rolled into the Thames and it was incredibly polluted.
Michael
Oh, God.
Joe Getty
Oh, yeah, I know. It was horrific. But we don't. We don't do that in the civilized world anymore. But I don't. I can't speak to LA's sewers in particular.
Michael
Is there more?
Joe Getty
It's just another person saying people don't deserve to live.
Michael
Like, I want to hear it again.
Joe Getty
Let's hear it. Sure, sure. It pisses me off.
Michael
That's why I was like, what y' all doing?
Caller or Listener
Finna tell them to clean up?
Matthew Seedorf
Neighbors angry. Say they've reported the problems but feel ignored.
Caller or Listener
Like, we need John. Hell, we need that money.
Michael
The public here need that.
Matthew Seedorf
A shocking snapshot of survival at its lowest point.
Neighbor
This person doesn't deserve to live like this. Even the neighbors.
Joe Getty
Yeah, all right, Hispanic guy, I'd like
Michael
to argue with you. It's possible that they do deserve to live like that. It's possible that if you looked at their life choices for the past decade or so that you'd think, man, that's about where you're going to end up.
Joe Getty
Or dead. Yep, yep. Subterranean sewer junkie. Yeah, exactly. I like the first neighbor, that gal who. And this is so familiar, folks, I'll bet a lot of you are going to nod your heads or shout at the radio. You've begged the authorities to do something about the junkie camps. You've begged them to clear them out. You're like, we didn't have junkies in the park 10 years ago, 15 years ago. The street corners in front of businesses. We used to have civilization here. What's happened? Yeah, well, we can't really do anything because the ordinance click and you get ignored. But then, you know, Hispanic guy comes out and he's boohooing over the junkies. And I'm not saying they don't have miserable lives and they don't deserve some Christian charity. Crappy but. Crappy indeed. But how about the law abiding? Who's our advocate? I guess we are our advocate. Anyway. Oh, that reminds me. You remember that Prince George's County, Maryland? I'm pretty sure that's right. That condo complex where the bums and junkie camp right next to it would break in constantly, urinate, defecate in the halls. Then they stole all the wires so the lights went out. So the deep, deep blue. I think it's St. George's County. I'll verify that. Where is that? I got too much open. But they're so liberal they would do nothing about it. But then they declared the condo uninhabitable and are kicking all the residents out. So the residents are now suing the county with the help of some good. I said Goldwater Institute ought to get involved with this because they had a huge win in Phoenix over a very, very similar issue. But those poor sons of guns in that condo complex, they're victimized over and over again by the bums and junkies and the progressive authorities. It's horrifying.
Katie
Yeah, it's Prince George's County, Maryland, at the Marylander condos.
Joe Getty
Right? I mean, look, I'm not happy that poor gal is climbing out of the sewers like a rat, according to the onlooker. But I'm a lot more worried about those law abiding folks who are getting kicked out of their homes because these authorities will clear out the junkie camps.
Michael
Well, for all of our LA listeners, when you flush your toilet today, oh boy, think about
Joe Getty
fire in the hole. Duck or duck or jump or something. I don't know. Oh, fire in the hole. Oh boy, we gotta go to break or something. That is gonna take me a minute to recover.
Jack Armstrong
The Armstrong and Getty Show. Get more Jack, more Joe podcasts and our hot links@armstrongandgetti.com the Armstrong and Getty
Caller or Listener
show
Joe Getty
so I was right in a way. I looked up the meaning, the definition of the word nostalgia. A sentimental longing or wistful affection for the past, typically for a period or place with happy personal association.
Michael
Yeah, but you looked it up online, which is not as good as back when we used to look it up in the paper dictionary.
Joe Getty
Okay, all right, so. But I was. I was right in that. I mean, for instance, because of the changing in media. The change in media over the last couple of Decades radio has been gutted, okay? And there are a lot of changes to the industry. I'm not nostalgic for when it worked better. That's not nostalgia. That's. Things have gotten crappier, which I don't think you probably call nostalgia. Right.
Michael
So if I lived in a nicer house 10 years ago than I do now, that wouldn't be nostalgia. It was just a nicer house.
Joe Getty
Right. I'm not nostalgic about before I had arthritis. I mean, there's a difference. Right.
Michael
Okay, well then. Then tell me something that is clearly. Is clearly nostalgia.
Joe Getty
I think how much fun I used to have playing pond hockey with my friends all the winter long and girlfriends I fell for and.
Michael
But that was fun.
Joe Getty
Riding my bike to the pool, but
Michael
it was fun playing the pond hockey. So why is it nostalgia as opposed to that actually was fun and I wish I could do that again.
Joe Getty
Well, it's a sentimental longing for the past because it was fun and nice and good. It's not. It's different than those other things, but
Michael
I feel like the motions very. The emotions are very similar. I feel like
Joe Getty
same quadrant of your brain, I'll give you that.
Michael
I had a cool sports car once that I can't have now because I got kids.
Joe Getty
I like driving that car. Is that nostalgia?
Michael
I don't know.
Joe Getty
No. No, I don't think so. Not per se, anyway. This is all a long, wishy washy lead into an absolutely charming story about one of the last vestiges of local culture in America. I despise the absolutely uniform big box hell that spread across the country.
Michael
Anyway, got a TJ Maxx, you got a Best Buy, you got a Home Depot.
Joe Getty
You got the same restaurants, same stores, they all have the same design. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Everybody's, you know, listen to the. Well, actually different music depending on your neighborhood.
Michael
But.
Joe Getty
So anyway, this is about Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania and parking chairs. Not only is it tradition, it's the law in Pittsburgh. Snows there a lot. If you dig out a parking space, like in front of your house on the street, you put a chair there until you can get your car or your. Your wife gets home or whatever, and she parks her car there because you cleared it, it's your space. And it's not. Again, it's not just a tradition, it's the law. And if somebody moves your chair, you're probably going to get cussed out, get your face punched, or you can even get a ticket. It's like a civil ticket violation thing. Frequently the note on the Windshield will call them a, quote, jag off, which is a delightful Midwestern term defined here by the Oxford English Dictionary as Western Pennsylvania slang for a stupid, irritating, or contemptible person.
Michael
That's with a G. That's a J,
Joe Getty
as a matter of fact.
Michael
J as in Joseph, but then jag G there.
Joe Getty
Yes, indeed. In the middle. Yes, yes.
Michael
Not the K sound.
Joe Getty
Two F's at the end if you want to get super thorough.
Michael
Yeah, I just.
Joe Getty
Pittsburgh's Mayor Corey o' Connor Bigora said there's a lot of chairs popping up on your street, so please respect the chair law, or whatever you want to call it in the neighborhoods, he told reporters last week.
Michael
In other words, don't be a jag off,
Joe Getty
don't be one of them. Right. Let's see. Yeah. And there are all sorts of charming stories. Oh, it went viral. This gal chopped ice for nearly two hours for the family Dodge Caravan, and then she sat down on her chair and had a glass of Pinot Noir, and her daughter took a picture of it and. And. And put it up online, and she became Yinzer famous, which is a reference to a Pennsylvania culture. I think it's like a different world there.
Michael
I don't understand any of these terms.
Joe Getty
Yeah, yeah, but how charming.
Michael
And then you try that in a
Joe Getty
lot of parts of America. You get shot. Either if you're one side of that bargain or another.
Michael
You want to talk jag offs. I mean, come on.
Joe Getty
Let's see. Cities accustomed to blizzards have customs for saving a spot. In Chicago, it's called dibs. Boston sanctions the use of space savers after a declared snow emergency. Still, not everyone is a fan. Don't do it. Said Baltimore Mayor Brandon Scott not icily last week. That's some good writing. If I see your chair, it's coming with me and going into the trash. So. Wow. In violent, lawless Baltimore, there is no shared culture. There's no common agreement on mores and customs.
Michael
Why would you be anti the putting the chair thing there? Well, how long do you get to save a spot? I guess be one of the things, because pretty soon all the spots.
Joe Getty
As long as it takes. Yeah. I think that's an interesting contrast, though, in.
Michael
Yeah, I'd say in Pittsburgh, they're saying,
Joe Getty
hey, this is our customer tradition, and you need to respect it. In Baltimore, they're saying, f you. I'm taking your spot in your chair. You want to come at me, Come at me. Bees. Bluey, bluey, bluey. I got my gat.
Michael
Wow.
Joe Getty
Yeah, right. Welcome to Baltimore.
Michael
You got a jag off in your sights and you ain't gonna let him get away.
Joe Getty
Oh boy, you don't want the parking chair, like the pierogi has become a kitschy emblem of Pittsburgh as comforting as strawberry Jell o pretzel salad. Boy, that's a Midwestern throwback right there. T shirts proclaim Respect the parking chair. Tiny chairs dangle on Christmas trees besides fake Heinz pickles. Heinz like it's a native to Pittsburgh. Well, dealers, logos, et cetera.
Michael
That's the culture of Pittsburgh. We'll do another town next Wednesday when we do Omaha, Nebraska and their chart.
Joe Getty
There are no other cities that have a culture anymore. Yeah, their culture is the big box.
Michael
It is going away a lot. One thing I liked when I was in Louisiana, New Orleans. There's quite a bit of culture there. I was. I was amazed that they've been able to hold on to as much culture as they have there because everything is becoming so homogenized and it sucks.
Joe Getty
The Armstrong and Getty Show Armstrong and Gay Jack and Joe are here to tell you your day will be just fine.
Matthew Seedorf
Just download the podcast, won't cost you a dime.
Joe Getty
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Michael (Sufi Muslim)
That's the podcast.
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Jacob Goldstein
is Jacob Goldstein from what's yous Problem? Business software is expensive and when you buy software from lots of different companies, it's not only expensive, it gets confusing. Slow to use, hard to integrate. Odoo solves that because all Odoo software is connected on a single affordable platform. Save money without missing out on the features you need. Odoo has no hidden costs and no limit on features or data. Odoo has over 60 apps available for any needs your business might have, all at no additional charge. Everything from websites to sales to inventory to accounting. All linked and talking to each other. Check out Odoo at o d o o.com that's o d o o.com when
Orderly Meds Announcer
people turn to healthcare for weight loss, they're looking for real support. That's why more people are choosing orderlymeds.com orderly meds connects you with real doctors and access to proven GLP1 medications like semaglutide and Tirzepatide. No guessing, just a more supportive experience and all shipped directly to your door in discreet packaging. Do your research, ask questions, then visit orderlymeds.com podcast for an exclusive offer. That's orderlymeds.com podcast. Individual results may vary. Not medical advice, eligibility required. See Cite for details.
Jack Armstrong
The Armstrong and Getty show
News Reporter
the attack was on a fleet of ambulances. They belong to Hat Solo, which is a volunteer led ambulance service that's actually run by this Jewish community now. Security footage caught three people in hoods pouring accelerant on the vehicles before igniting them and fleeing. Oxygen cylinders inside exploded. No one was hurt. A largely unknown Islamist group, Harakat Assab al Amin, claimed responsibility on social media, but police have not yet confirmed the authenticity of their claim that that same group claimed responsibility for three other attacks in Europe in March alone. The Jewish community in London is relatively small, about 150,000 people. In the last year there have been over a thousand anti Semitic hate crimes reported to police.
Joe Getty
Wow.
Michael
Islamists blew up a bunch of ambulances in London. That is what globalizing the Intifada means. Mayor Mumdani.
Joe Getty
Yeah, no kidding he knows that Free Press with a great piece, the terrorizing of British Jews. Britain keeps saying anti Semitism has no place here. Britain keeps being wrong.
Michael
Did you see that video? I think I posted it through the group. It's got too much nasty language in it, I think, for us to run on the radio. Anyway, it's this woman says. Says, let's play a game. I'm gonna read a quote or show you a tweet and you tell me whether it's Nick Fuentes or Mayor Mumdani's wife.
Joe Getty
Wow.
Michael
And they're all Mrs. Mumdani, but they sound like the sort of thing that you would expect out of, you know, Hitler wannabe Nick Fuentes, who gets, you know, beaten up in the media all the time because he's had dinner with Trump or whatever. But Mamdani's wife said all these horrifying quotes about Jews and all that sort of.
Joe Getty
Yeah, yeah. You know, this. This will just take a minute. I got this. Ready to talk about something slightly. Well, it's on the same topic, more or less. Agree or disagree? This is the late Christopher Hitchens, who did a worldwide tour where he would. Who was the scholar who he often debated about the existence of God or religion.
Michael
Oh, boy. There was quite a few of them.
Joe Getty
Yeah. Yeah. There are a couple of heavyweights. You're more acquainted with this than I am. But anyway, the more I think about it, it was incredibly brave what he did. Whether you agree with him or disagree with him. I think, ironically, this is Hitchens in London at one of those debates. 13. Michael, as a Sufi Muslim, I'm very ruffled by the title of your book. Did you have to settle for the literal negation of Allahu Akbar?
Michael (Sufi Muslim)
Yes,
Michael
thank you.
Michael (Sufi Muslim)
At the moment, it's very clear to me the most toxic form that religion takes is the Islamic form. The horrible idea of wanting to end up with Sharia, the state of religious law, and that the best means of getting there is jihad, holy war. And that Muslims have a special right to feel aggrieved enough to demand. This, I think, is absolutely obscene wickedness. And I think their religion is nonsense. God speaks to some illiterate merchant warlord in Arabia, and it contains the answers to all. You know, don't. Don't waste my time.
Joe Getty
But you're saying the same about it also.
Michael (Sufi Muslim)
That God. That God speaks. The Archangel Gabriel speaks only Arabic. All religions claim to be revealed truth, but Islam, rather dangerously says, ours is the last and final one. There can't be any more after this. This is God's last word. Now that's straight away a temptation to violence and intolerance. And if you note it's a temptation they seem quite willing to fall for. Every Allahu Akbar reminds people that we're in a very serious struggle. We're very depraved religion.
Michael
I wish he didn't smoke. Christopher Itchens could have used his voice now.
Joe Getty
Yeah. Yep.
Michael
So the Iranians are Islamists, you see part of the deal and we're dealing with that right now or Trump's. Time to deal with that. Bahrain just put out a UN backed action for getting the Strait of Hormuz open. Bahrain came up with a draft for the UN Security Council resolution that would authorize countries to use all necessary means, which means, of course, force to protect commercial shipping in and around the Strait of Hormuz. That's according to a text seen by Reuters today. Diplomats said the draft text was backed by other Gulf Arab states and the United States, although they said it was unlikely to get through the Security Council. Why? Because permanent members of the Security Council include Russia and China who have veto power.
Joe Getty
You mean they don't just do the right thing in the Security Council, but at least China.
Michael
But at least it will force Russia and China to vote against it. And I don't know, to my mind at least point out to more people how stupid the UNN is.
Joe Getty
Yeah, exactly. It's. I mean, I guess I sort of, kind of get how that might be useful in diplomatic circles, but it reminds me of the time for your birthday. Years and years and years ago, I got the American Pork Council to name you their man of the year or something like that. There's a sign, there's a certificate and everything. God, that was years ago. I think that had about as much weight as the UN Declaration would have, which they're not even going to get.
Michael
I don't know. I think it's a pretty big deal that got all the Gulf Arab states joining with the United States.
Joe Getty
Yes.
Michael
Against Iran. That is. That has never happened before.
Joe Getty
Yeah. Standing up and raising their hands. You're absolutely right.
Michael
So we'll see how that turns out. I was just looking at the political reporting on, you know, who's the administration negotiate negotiating with that whole question. And they're talking about one particular person. I don't remember what the name was. It doesn't really make any difference. He's a hot option, one administration official said, cautioning that no decisions have been made. He's one of the highest. But we've got to test him because we can't rush into it to see if he actually speaks for the regime, which I think is interesting. So you negotiate with somebody and then kind of wait and see. Does he actually have any oof. Behind him?
Joe Getty
Well, yeah, any. Any skilled negotiator knows. You've got to make sure you're talking to the decision maker or somebody who at least is tied to the decision maker. Otherwise you're wasting your time. And, man, that's a real conundrum. Right.
Michael
And another quote from an administration official that Politico had. It's all about installing someone like Rodriguez Rodriguez down in Venezuela that we can say, okay, we're going to keep you here, we're going to not take you out. You're going to work with us, you're going to give us a good deal and. And we'll go forward from there. So putting somebody, you know in charge that says, yeah, not gonna get a nuclear weapon, not gonna attack your base, it's not going to attack Israel. I don't know if that'll work, though. What's her name down in Venezuela isn't surrounded by people that, you know, for religious regions. Reasons like Christopher Hitchens was just explaining, feel like she needs to die.
Joe Getty
Right. Yeah. And there are some pretty dangerous armed militias and drug cartel type organizations in Venezuela, but it's nothing like Iran that has this multipolar power structure. And it's very mysterious and nobody knows quite who's in charge because, you know, you might negotiate with some like the top civilian guy who's alive right now and he's got the army with him, him, but he doesn't have the irgc and they're like, no, we're not going along with that. So what's the US to do? What are the Gulf states to do in that situation? Keep bombing our little hearts out, is that what the President said? Right.
Michael
And then meanwhile, we've got all of those Marines and Airborne Rangers and everybody either in the area of the Middle east or headed there. And Trump very likely to pull the trigger on some sort of ground invasion of the straight A whore moves. That's a heck of a thing, man, when that goes down.
Joe Getty
Came across this on the Twitter machine. Why on all my tabs, does some of them have the little bluebird and some of them have the X?
Michael
I have no idea.
Joe Getty
Yeah. Anyway, let's see. The deadline for that Trump set for Iran to open the Strait of Hormuz. The five days is Friday. The 2200 Marines, plus all of their heavyweight gear of the 31st Marine Expeditionary Unit arrive in CENTCOM on Friday. The USS Tripoli and the USS New Orleans also dock the same day. None of this is subtle. A deadline without consequence is just a request. A deadline with 2,200 Marines on amphibious assault ships arriving the same morning is a different kind of communication entirely.
Michael
And from what I understand, listening to one military expert, they are, they are ready to go at a moment's notice. I mean that's, that's what they are. So they will be there. And Trump could say okay, now and, and, and it is literally now. They can do it now. That's what they train for.
Joe Getty
Give us an hour. Yeah, if that. But back to this. And y' all always have to come back to this standard negotiating. Even threats land differently when you're dealing with religious fanatics, particularly of a certain bent of Shia Islam that are something like death cultists. I mean, when the 12th Mahdi comes, is it. And I'm no theologian, but the culmination of God's will will be Armageddon. That's good. If that comes. How do you negotiate with somebody like that? Hey, we'll kill you. That's fine, go ahead.
Michael
On the other hand, threats land differently when they're from Trump because you can imagine him doing practically anything.
Joe Getty
Yes. Short of nuclear war. Barely. Barely.
Michael
And I mean even if he did that, I wouldn't be completely surprised.
Joe Getty
Oh boy. Sickening thought. But yeah, I hear you. I wish we could. You know, we had a, an emailer suggest a number of days ago. Why aren't we dropping pallets of weapons, small arms in the areas that are Most anti regime. 15,000 guys with rifles who've had enough because their, their husband got, their wife got killed or their brother got killed or their dad got killed or their little brother or whatever. And they're ready to go out in a blaze of glory.
Michael
I'm sure there's an answer to that question.
Joe Getty
Yeah, you'd probably have to arm 5 million of them, honestly.
Michael
But yeah, I'm sure there's an answer to that question. I don't know what it is though.
Joe Getty
Armstrong and Getty,
Jack Armstrong
Armstrong and yeti.
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Jack Armstrong
Jack Armstrong and Joe Getty, the Armstrong and Getty Show.
Neighbor
Duncan has begun offering iced coffee in 48 ounce buckets that have a handle, lid and straw, which is handy because
Joe Getty
after 48 ounces of coffee, you're gonna need a bucket.
Michael
That's one of the reasons I switched to espresso shots, mostly for my coffee. I just pee less, but I get my caffeine.
Joe Getty
Wow, thanks. Keep us up to date. That's great.
Michael
I just don't like the peeing though.
Joe Getty
As he was hanging with old people featuring Jack Armstrong.
Michael
I don't think it's just old people. I don't think that Seth Meyers joke was aimed at the just the old 40 ounces of coffee. And coffee's a diuretic.
Joe Getty
You're gonna pee a lot like a racehorse. You're absolutely right. Quick follow up. Armstrong coffee. Yeah, that's right. Yeah.
Michael
Okay.
Joe Getty
Well, during the last segment, talking about the horrific child rapist who's going to be released, perhaps in California because of the progressive laws, good friend of the Armstrong and Getty Show, Judge Larry texted. When a judge imposes a sentence like that, three life sentences, it is the judge saying, based on everything I know about the crimes in the defendant. The defendant. The defendant should never be released back on the street. And that should carry much more weight than politically appointed parole board members. Amen to that.
Michael
I need my alert sound effect that we use, Michael. Whatever or whatever that is that we play. It's a good. Yeah, there you go. Mercury is in retrograde, people. Mercury is in retrograde.
Joe Getty
What we feared the most, I don't know, come to pass.
Michael
I don't know much about this, but I hear people mention it now and then. And if you're into the whole astrological signs thing, Mercury is in retrograde starting today through March 20th. And if you're a Pisces, it is going to be a doozy this year according to astrologers. Wow. Do you understand what that means?
Joe Getty
Not the slightest. I mean, I've heard it a million times.
Michael
Well, I probably have two and I could easily chat GPT it if I wanted to, but I don't care enough to even learn about it. But it's pretty interesting to me that astrological signs still have any heft whatsoever. But they do, apparently. I've talked about the. That. That online dating profiles and stuff that everybody puts their I their sign in there.
Joe Getty
Why? Look, I. I don't want to offend anybody.
Michael
I do.
Joe Getty
I have 308 jihads. This is not one of them. Yeah, it's. It's all ridiculous.
Michael
Your head is soft.
Joe Getty
Oh, boy.
Michael
You should wear a helmet everywhere you go.
Joe Getty
Oh, no, see, that's unnecessarily. Oh, no, no. Good God. I think I'm a different sign than I used to be because they changed what dates are covered. And I don't care. I'm still me. Shouldn't I have changed character completely when that was done? Shouldn't I have become a different person with a different fate when they rejiggered the calendar? No, of course not, because it's ridiculous.
Michael
Having said what I said, I did spend a good deal of my life back when newspapers were a thing. Like an actual paper. I always read the comics and it had the horoscopes at the bottom, and I always read it. I don't know why, but I always read, what's it say about Pisces today? And I would read it. You're gonna have a fantastic day. Blah, blah, blah.
Joe Getty
I read the. The fortunes in Chinese cookies. Fortune cookies. But I don't take them seriously.
Michael
Yes, Katie.
Katie
Whenever someone starts talking about this seriously, I always go, oh, no, Mercury's in Gatorade again.
Neighbor
What?
Joe Getty
Some excellent deflation. Yes.
Michael
That's pretty funny.
Joe Getty
By the way, something Fortune cookie. Fortunes are terrible these days.
Michael
Yeah, they've gotten worse. My kids always complain about that fortune. They're not anything. They're not a fortune. I don't know what happened, but they're not like humor.
Joe Getty
They're not. The ones Judy and I got were something like, family is where you find love. Thanks for that. What the hell? Pretty soon there'll be ads. I'm just trying to enjoy a meal. A succulent Chinese meal. I don't need you philosophy philosophizing at me. Right?
Michael
I'm gonna meet a tall, dark stranger. I need to, you know, that sort of thing. That's what we're looking for.
Joe Getty
Give me something to laugh at, for God's sake. Whose idea was this? I gotta start a fortune cookie company. A lot of money coming your way.
Michael
Did you ever go in San Francisco. I don't know if it's still there. Maybe, you know, Katie, the place that makes the fortune cookies there in Chinatown. It's like down this little alley and everything like that. And it's been doing it for 120 years or something. It's really cool. They were like the fortune cookie maker in America for a long, long time. I don't know if that's still the case since the fortunes have gotten so bad over the years.
Joe Getty
And my cookies, too. The cookie had none of that good. What is that, vanilla or whatever? It was terrible.
Michael
It was kind of interesting the way they made the cookies and fold them up like that and they get. They get the note in there because that's. That's not as easy as it sounds.
Joe Getty
Spend a lot of time going down alleys in Chinatown, Dave. It's a little opium, little hooker, little whatever. I don't know. I'm not judging, just asking,
Michael
you know, to take a wet cookie and then be able to bend it and have it dry while the fortune inside it still does not get ruined on a piece of paper is not as simple as it sounds. If you're going to start out, you know, trying to craft that today.
Joe Getty
Is that what the hooker told you?
Michael
In the alley in Chinatown? God, we walked through Chinatown not that long ago. Grant street in San Francisco, if you've never been. And my kids and I. And I don't know if they'd ever. Not since they were little, anyway. The smells. My God, the smells. You get some duck hung by its neck in the window, and it's kind of swinging around. Doesn't look too happy.
Joe Getty
Well, it should have thought of that before it committed its crimes.
Michael
And then a big bucket of chicken feet or duck feet or whatever. Big buckets of raw chicken feet.
Joe Getty
It's a wet market.
Michael
Yeah, I guess that's it.
Joe Getty
It is what it is, essentially.
Michael
Big buckets of feet and beaks and all kinds of stuff like that. And the smells. My God, the smells. And then they're always hosing off the. The sidewalk to get the.
Jack Armstrong
The.
Joe Getty
The.
Michael
The ooze that runs off the chicken feet, I guess.
Joe Getty
Oh, Lord.
Michael
And then you got all those stores full of stuff. I can't imagine who buys that ever. How do you sell any of those things ever?
Joe Getty
I've wanted a gigantic jade elephant since I was a little kid. I walk by those stores, all I feel is lust. Jack.
Michael
I always see my. The thing I say with my kids, always when we buy stores like that, like, you know, there's a little an eight foot golden Buddha or something like that.
Joe Getty
Dragon, maybe. A lot of dragons and huge.
Michael
I always say, oh, dang, I was looking for a big one.
Joe Getty
Do you have any bigger jade dragons?
Michael
I need one that weighs 3,000 pounds, not 2,000 pounds to take home to my house.
Joe Getty
I like this one, but it's a tad undersized.
Michael
It doesn't make enough of a statement. There's like these giant gold lions as tall as me. And. And I texted a friend of mine, said, what do you think chicks would think if I had one on each side of my bed? One of these giant lions, size of an actual lion. And that's a statement. You don't.
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You're a fool.
Michael
I don't know how a person would react if the first time you were ever in someone's bedroom and they're lucky
Joe Getty
enough to entice a new friend into your boudoir, they turn the corner, what
Michael
the f. They back toward the door.
Katie
Would you also have your giant. Your giant gong in this room as well?
Joe Getty
Right, right.
Michael
Have that at the foot of the bed. Because when I'm done. Once again, success. Beautiful.
Joe Getty
Every woman appreciates that. It's the Armstrong and Getty show. Armstrong and Getty.
Jack Armstrong
Armstrong. And get.
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Episode: A&G Replay Friday Hour Four
Date: May 15, 2026
Host: iHeartPodcasts
This Armstrong & Getty replay hour covers a range of pressing and lively topics, including Los Angeles’ “subterranean sewer junkies,” local traditions from around the country, the rise in anti-Semitic attacks in Europe, Middle Eastern geopolitics, the absurdity of astrological beliefs, plus plenty of the hosts' trademark humor and wry cultural commentary. The episode reflects on the challenges of homelessness, urban decay, community customs, international tensions, and even the evolution of fortune cookie fortunes.
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The episode flows from gritty, newsy realism into quirky cultural discussion, with Armstrong & Getty’s characteristic blend of blunt skepticism, black humor, and moments of nostalgic warmth. The tone is conversational, at times sarcastic and playful, but regularly pivots to sincere civic concern or cultural critique.
This episode is a classic Armstrong & Getty mix: punchy, wide-ranging, unafraid to tackle dark topics with irreverence, but still ready to step back for genuine concern or a wistful glance at what’s been lost in modern life. If you want to hear trenchant commentary on everything from LA’s most hidden homeless population to why fortune cookies aren’t what they used to be—plus a deep cut from Christopher Hitchens’ archives—this hour delivers.
For further information, see armstrongandgetty.com for full episodes and show notes.