Armstrong & Getty On Demand

Episode: Are You Into Toupai Chumai?
Date: February 3, 2026
Podcast Host: iHeartPodcasts

Episode Overview

In this candid and winding episode, Armstrong & Getty and their producer Michael riff on several recent cultural stories, centering around changing relationship norms, defeatist attitudes in modern dating and work, and a disturbing new phenomenon in China referred to as "toupai chumai" (secret filming betrayal). The hosts maintain their trademark irreverent and conversational style, tackling heavy topics—such as loneliness, voyeurism, and the dark realities of life under certain regimes—with a blend of humor and seriousness.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Changing Relationship Norms & Defeatism (00:10–04:15)

• Viral Post About Wanting a 'Wife': Armstrong describes a trending online post by a straight woman who wishes for a platonic “wife” to split chores, bills, and responsibilities, emphasizing the appeal of partnership without romance or sex.
  • “I’d love to have a wife…not a lesbian… just to do the chores I hate. I’ll do the ones she hates… It’d have to be sexless. Of course.” – Armstrong (00:18)
• Modern Dating Struggles: The hosts debate why so many people, especially men, are checking out of relationships, whether from satisfaction with minimum comforts or defeatism.
  • “There’s no men out there… they’re all sitting at home looking at porn and playing video games, which is true for a lot of men.” – Armstrong (01:30)
  • “Defeatism is a warm blanket that people like… If my job sucks, all jobs suck.” – Getty (02:27)
• Bitterness and Stereotyping: The conversation touches on bitterness behind broad statements like “all men are useless” and how both men and women sometimes use such rationalizations to explain their own disappointments or lack of effort.

2. The Rise of "Toupai Chumai" in China (04:15–08:13)

• Secret Filming Betrayal: Armstrong introduces a New York Times article about “toupai chumai,” a Chinese term for a vast trade in secretly filmed images and videos of women and girls without their consent, especially through encrypted apps like Telegram.
  • “People are sharing and trading photos and videos… with secret cameras in bathrooms and bedrooms.” – Armstrong (05:06)
  • “Oh, you know, it’s daughters, too, these sickos.” – Getty (05:17)
• Chinese Government Paradox: Despite China’s intense government surveillance, this illegal voyeuristic trade flourishes—something the hosts and Michael find deeply disturbing and paradoxical.
  • “The lack of enforcement is striking for a country known for its expansive online surveillance... but for whatever reason, they can’t or haven’t on this.” – Armstrong (05:34)

3. Living Under Communism – Elites Versus Ordinary People (06:04–08:13)

• Contrasting Experiences: The hosts discuss differing views among people who lived under communism—some American expats and elites rave about the experience, while others, such as ordinary citizens, faced scarcity and oppression.
  • “We were one of the elite families. Oh, okay.” – Armstrong, relating a Mongolian friend’s view of communism (06:48)
  • “It’s really great if you were a part of the elite, but in China, I guess they’re all so lonely and weird…” – Armstrong (07:36)
• Moral and Social Decay: The trend toward voyeurism and betrayal is framed as both an issue of access and a lack of moral compass in the absence of a strong cultural or religious code.
  • “It is too easy… to be drawn to the dark side… The natural state of the universe is entropy, right? Chaos.” – Getty (09:11)
  • “Everything is moving toward disorder unless you have a very strong force to hold it in order.” – Armstrong (09:44)

4. A Harrowing Childhood Memory from China (10:04–11:16)

• Guest Recollection on Food Scarcity: Armstrong recounts a story shared by frequent guest Ying Ma, who grew up in Maoist China, about having to catch and eat stray cats out of necessity.
  • “She’d go out and grab a stray cat…put the lid on it, then skin it and cut it up and fry it up… because they didn’t have any other food.” – Armstrong (10:35)
  • “I’d do that before I’d starve.” – Getty (11:02)

5. Humor and Memorable Moments (11:27–12:11)

• Infamous “They’re Eating the Cats” Bit: The hosts reminisce about their iconic musical remix of “They’re eating the cats, they’re eating the dogs!”—mocking the dark humor in sharing bleak realities from authoritarian countries.
  • “That was one of the best things that’s ever happened in the history of the world, including the moon landing.” – Armstrong (11:29)
• Closing Banter: More humorous remarks about not eating their own pets and poking fun at each other’s cats.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (with Timestamps)

• On the viral ‘wife’ post:

  • “Isn’t that kind of what a marriage would be if you just found a man? …the sexless part wouldn’t be great.” – Armstrong (00:47)

• On modern relationship cynicism:

  • “If my man sucks, all men suck. I’m not going to try anymore.” – Getty (02:43)

• On “toupai chumai”:

  • “Selling it, obviously.” – Armstrong, on secret videos (09:07)

• On human nature:

  • “It’s too easy… to be drawn to the dark side… become something you should not be… every single minute of every day.” – Getty (09:11)
  • “Everything is moving toward disorder unless you have a very strong force to hold it in order… that’s true of all matter… and human souls and civilizations.” – Armstrong (09:44)

• On life under communism:

  • “She’d go out and grab a stray cat, bring it back, put it in a bucket of water… skin it and cut it up and fry it up and eat it because they didn’t have any other food…” – Armstrong (10:47)

• On the infamous musical remix:

  • “That was one of the best things that’s ever happened in the history of the world, including the moon landing.” – Armstrong (11:29)

Timestamps of Important Segments

• Viral ‘Wife’ Post & Changing Relationships: 00:18–03:45
• Defeatist Attitudes in Dating/Work: 02:27–04:15
• Secret Filming Betrayal (“Toupai Chumai”) in China: 04:15–08:13
• Life as Elites vs. Ordinary Under Communism: 06:04–08:13
• Morality, Entropy, and Social Order: 09:11–09:59
• Ying Ma’s Childhood Story (eating cats): 10:35–11:16
• Humorous “They’re Eating the Cats” Callback: 11:27–12:11

Tone & Style

The hosts’ tone is irreverent, conversational, and peppered with humor—even when discussing deeply serious topics. They frequently poke fun at themselves and the absurdities of news headlines, but do not shy away from expressing disgust or moral condemnation where warranted.

A&G bring their unique blend of wit and frankness to an episode that careens from modern malaise in relationships to the worst excesses of voyeurism in authoritarian societies, always circling back to the human need for meaning, morality, and a bit of gallows humor.