Are You Into Toupai Chumai?

Summary

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Armstrong & Getty On Demand

Episode: Are You Into Toupai Chumai?
Date: February 3, 2026
Podcast Host: iHeartPodcasts

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Episode Overview

In this candid and winding episode, Armstrong & Getty and their producer Michael riff on several recent cultural stories, centering around changing relationship norms, defeatist attitudes in modern dating and work, and a disturbing new phenomenon in China referred to as "toupai chumai" (secret filming betrayal). The hosts maintain their trademark irreverent and conversational style, tackling heavy topics—such as loneliness, voyeurism, and the dark realities of life under certain regimes—with a blend of humor and seriousness.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Changing Relationship Norms & Defeatism (00:10–04:15)

• Viral Post About Wanting a 'Wife': Armstrong describes a trending online post by a straight woman who wishes for a platonic “wife” to split chores, bills, and responsibilities, emphasizing the appeal of partnership without romance or sex.
  • “I’d love to have a wife…not a lesbian… just to do the chores I hate. I’ll do the ones she hates… It’d have to be sexless. Of course.” – Armstrong (00:18)
• Modern Dating Struggles: The hosts debate why so many people, especially men, are checking out of relationships, whether from satisfaction with minimum comforts or defeatism.
  • “There’s no men out there… they’re all sitting at home looking at porn and playing video games, which is true for a lot of men.” – Armstrong (01:30)
  • “Defeatism is a warm blanket that people like… If my job sucks, all jobs suck.” – Getty (02:27)
• Bitterness and Stereotyping: The conversation touches on bitterness behind broad statements like “all men are useless” and how both men and women sometimes use such rationalizations to explain their own disappointments or lack of effort.

2. The Rise of "Toupai Chumai" in China (04:15–08:13)

• Secret Filming Betrayal: Armstrong introduces a New York Times article about “toupai chumai,” a Chinese term for a vast trade in secretly filmed images and videos of women and girls without their consent, especially through encrypted apps like Telegram.
  • “People are sharing and trading photos and videos… with secret cameras in bathrooms and bedrooms.” – Armstrong (05:06)
  • “Oh, you know, it’s daughters, too, these sickos.” – Getty (05:17)
• Chinese Government Paradox: Despite China’s intense government surveillance, this illegal voyeuristic trade flourishes—something the hosts and Michael find deeply disturbing and paradoxical.
  • “The lack of enforcement is striking for a country known for its expansive online surveillance... but for whatever reason, they can’t or haven’t on this.” – Armstrong (05:34)

3. Living Under Communism – Elites Versus Ordinary People (06:04–08:13)

• Contrasting Experiences: The hosts discuss differing views among people who lived under communism—some American expats and elites rave about the experience, while others, such as ordinary citizens, faced scarcity and oppression.
  • “We were one of the elite families. Oh, okay.” – Armstrong, relating a Mongolian friend’s view of communism (06:48)
  • “It’s really great if you were a part of the elite, but in China, I guess they’re all so lonely and weird…” – Armstrong (07:36)
• Moral and Social Decay: The trend toward voyeurism and betrayal is framed as both an issue of access and a lack of moral compass in the absence of a strong cultural or religious code.
  • “It is too easy… to be drawn to the dark side… The natural state of the universe is entropy, right? Chaos.” – Getty (09:11)
  • “Everything is moving toward disorder unless you have a very strong force to hold it in order.” – Armstrong (09:44)

4. A Harrowing Childhood Memory from China (10:04–11:16)

• Guest Recollection on Food Scarcity: Armstrong recounts a story shared by frequent guest Ying Ma, who grew up in Maoist China, about having to catch and eat stray cats out of necessity.
  • “She’d go out and grab a stray cat…put the lid on it, then skin it and cut it up and fry it up… because they didn’t have any other food.” – Armstrong (10:35)
  • “I’d do that before I’d starve.” – Getty (11:02)

5. Humor and Memorable Moments (11:27–12:11)

• Infamous “They’re Eating the Cats” Bit: The hosts reminisce about their iconic musical remix of “They’re eating the cats, they’re eating the dogs!”—mocking the dark humor in sharing bleak realities from authoritarian countries.
  • “That was one of the best things that’s ever happened in the history of the world, including the moon landing.” – Armstrong (11:29)
• Closing Banter: More humorous remarks about not eating their own pets and poking fun at each other’s cats.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (with Timestamps)

• On the viral ‘wife’ post:

  • “Isn’t that kind of what a marriage would be if you just found a man? …the sexless part wouldn’t be great.” – Armstrong (00:47)

• On modern relationship cynicism:

  • “If my man sucks, all men suck. I’m not going to try anymore.” – Getty (02:43)

• On “toupai chumai”:

  • “Selling it, obviously.” – Armstrong, on secret videos (09:07)

• On human nature:

  • “It’s too easy… to be drawn to the dark side… become something you should not be… every single minute of every day.” – Getty (09:11)
  • “Everything is moving toward disorder unless you have a very strong force to hold it in order… that’s true of all matter… and human souls and civilizations.” – Armstrong (09:44)

• On life under communism:

  • “She’d go out and grab a stray cat, bring it back, put it in a bucket of water… skin it and cut it up and fry it up and eat it because they didn’t have any other food…” – Armstrong (10:47)

• On the infamous musical remix:

  • “That was one of the best things that’s ever happened in the history of the world, including the moon landing.” – Armstrong (11:29)

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Timestamps of Important Segments

• Viral ‘Wife’ Post & Changing Relationships: 00:18–03:45
• Defeatist Attitudes in Dating/Work: 02:27–04:15
• Secret Filming Betrayal (“Toupai Chumai”) in China: 04:15–08:13
• Life as Elites vs. Ordinary Under Communism: 06:04–08:13
• Morality, Entropy, and Social Order: 09:11–09:59
• Ying Ma’s Childhood Story (eating cats): 10:35–11:16
• Humorous “They’re Eating the Cats” Callback: 11:27–12:11

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Tone & Style

The hosts’ tone is irreverent, conversational, and peppered with humor—even when discussing deeply serious topics. They frequently poke fun at themselves and the absurdities of news headlines, but do not shy away from expressing disgust or moral condemnation where warranted.

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A&G bring their unique blend of wit and frankness to an episode that careens from modern malaise in relationships to the worst excesses of voyeurism in authoritarian societies, always circling back to the human need for meaning, morality, and a bit of gallows humor.

Transcript

[Armstrong]

This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human. Are you into Tapai Chumai? It's one more thing. Armstrong and Getty.

[Getty]

One more thing that a Star Trek character with a head like a horse and a body like a ape or something.

[Armstrong]

It's Chinese, and I don't know if I pronounced it correctly or not, but I'll get to that in a second. First, this. This. This made the rounds over the weekend. It was somebody who put an ad on Facebook. It got enough popularity. The New York Times wrote about was basically some woman saying, I'd love to have a wife. She's not a lesbian. This isn't sexual. She said, I'd love to have a wife that could do the chores I hate. I'll do the ones she hates. We'll split the bills. We'll each max out our 401ks and Roth IRAs. It'd have to be sexless. Of course. We probably wouldn't even need to get married. Of course. That's what would make her sexless. Is anybody interested? To which a lot of the replies were, yeah, that sounds awesome. I'd like that, too. With a lot of the other replies saying, isn't that kind of what a marriage would be if you just found a man? Like, you split the chores and try to be financially responsible and, you know, the sexless part wouldn't be great.

[Michael]

But she's not a lesbian.

[Armstrong]

She's not a lesbian. It's just. It's. I don't know. I guess the. The.

[Getty]

I don't know tinge of men are stupid and useless.

[Armstrong]

Yes.

[Getty]

Only a wife would. Only a wife would help out with the chores.

[Armstrong]

Okay, well, or, Or. Or be a good partner for life. Not just chores, but that. Yeah, definitely. And then, like, lots of people are on board like that. Which kind of gets to that whole weird dating thing that's going on right now where there's just, you know, people aren't getting together, women thinking, in some cases they're right. There are. There's no men out there to hook up with because they're all sitting at home looking at porn and playing video games, which is true for a lot of men. And then you got the flip side of a man who don't want to date because they're a bunch of crazy radicals. And. Well, in that. In the studies that we've talked about several times, the. The gap between one gender being one party and the other gender being the other party, it's always been split pretty much evenly, and now it's vastly different. So I Don't know. I don't know what we're going to do about that. Fail to reproduce and die away, I guess would be my.

[Getty]

Defeatism is a warm blanket that people like. If my job sucks, all jobs suck. And I'm just not going to try anymore because all jobs suck.

[Armstrong]

Yeah. Here's the difference.

[Getty]

If my man sucks, all men suck. I'm not going to try anymore.

[Armstrong]

But in this case it would be I've got a job, though that's pretty good. It's enough. I don't need more. So because like, men are getting enough to get by with porn and video games.

[Getty]

Oh yeah. I was talking more about that whole men are stupid and useless, I need.

[Armstrong]

A wife and women are getting by enough with Galentine's day and whatever else.

[Michael]

I saw a post the other day with the kind of going along the line of what Joe's talking about, like the all men are useless and whatnot. The top comment that had the most likes was you feel this way because you can't get one.

[Armstrong]

Yeah. Totally agree with that certain amount of truth to that.

[Michael]

You're bitter and that's the only reason you're. If some guy came into that woman's life and swept her off her feet tomorrow, she'd be happy.

[Armstrong]

Yep.

[Michael]

And they're useless until that happens.

[Getty]

How many members of the Nick Fuentes He Man Woman Haters club, like, have had a meaningful relationship with a good woman and have decided, nope, I'm not in favor of that. No, it's. It's the defeatism I was talking about.

[Michael]

Yeah.

[Getty]

And look, there are issues, there are problems, there are challenges. Overcome them or just die. Go ahead and die. I just. I hate defeatism. Or it's the only thing that can hold you back.

[Armstrong]

Yes, Michael.

[Getty]

No, I was just shocked by that suggestion.

[Armstrong]

That's all. I'm trying to get out of the way. Here's how I'll transition to this other part or get into PI Chumai, which is popular in China right now. New York Times did a big piece on this over the weekend. China is failing to curb the secret filming betrayal of women and girls. Chumai, Tupai, Chimai. And I'm again, I'm pronouncing that wrong. I'm sure is a Chinese for secret filming betrayal. And it's become like the rage all across China. A vast trade of secretly filmed footage of Chinese women and girls has flourished, powering the anonymity of. By the anonymity of telegram. That's like the. You know, you can Share stuff around encrypted. Nobody can find out who you are. And the convenience of Chinese online payment apps, people are sharing and trading photos and videos of the girl, their own girlfriends, wives, relatives, and acquaintances with secret cameras in bathrooms and bedrooms.

[Getty]

Oh, you know, it's daughters, too. These sickos. You're.

[Armstrong]

That's sick.

[Getty]

That'd be a small bridge to cross.

[Armstrong]

And for whatever reason, Chinese culture, it's huge right now.

[Michael]

God, you said two pied. Whatever the hell. And I was thinking, like, is that a dessert?

[Armstrong]

The lack of enforcement is striking for a country known for its expansive online surveillance and its ability to track users on platforms.

[Getty]

Right.

[Armstrong]

I mean, they can crack down on all kinds of different stuff, but for whatever reason, they can't or haven't on this. And it's just a huge thing.

[Getty]

Wow, China's weird.

[Armstrong]

China is weird.

[Getty]

We've got a couple of listeners who spent, like, most of their lives living and working in China that are like, no, you should come. It's actually pretty cool in a lot of ways.

[Armstrong]

Yeah. I wonder. I wonder about. That's funny. I was talking to somebody the other day from Mongolia, and she grew up, and so I didn't know anything about Mongolia. I've been to a Mongolian barbecue, which I did not bring up to her, but I didn't know an opportunity. I didn't know anything about Mongolia. So I did a tiny bit of research.

[Getty]

Hey, how about that Genghis Khan? He was something, wasn't he? Crazy.

[Armstrong]

Since I, you know. Anyway, so Mongolia was a. Basically a Soviet state and. And then got its freedom. So I said to this person, did you grow up under communism? And she said, yeah. And actually, for us, it was pretty great. We liked it, I thought, because that's not what I was expecting, you know.

[Getty]

Yeah.

[Armstrong]

And we were one of the elite families. Oh, okay. So you are one of the elite families that, you know, get the, The, The. The stuff of communism while everybody else out there is suffering. And, you know, you're tied into that. The way communism works. It's really an oligarchy as opposed to capitalism. And I thought, that's interesting. And I wonder that about, like, when we hear that from people have, you know, worked in China and said, it's fantastic. Yeah. I don't think you're getting the full, I'm a communist and not allowed to decide what I do for a living or where I live treatment.

[Getty]

Right.

[Armstrong]

Yeah.

[Getty]

These are American expats, I think, but I don't know what's going on with them. I would like to Know more. I don't take it at face value. Like, oh, I was wrong. No, I think there's something going on here.

[Armstrong]

But isn't it interesting? I didn't realize that at least the way I worked in Mongolia, it's probably this way. In a lot of communist countries there is a group, the top 1%, 5%, whatever it is, that think this is pretty cool. I'm kind of enjoying myself 100%. There was no crime, she said, because, you know, everybody was so locked down and afraid. It's really great if you were a part of the elite, but in China, I guess they're all so lonely and weird. They're looking at videos of your coworker's daughter taking a shower or using the bathroom. I don't get that at all.

[Michael]

All of that makes me sick to my stomach.

[Armstrong]

I know. I don't get it. I don't know. I don't get. I, I've never been denied. Well, first of all, I'm not a pervo. And then two, I've never been denied any sort of like, access to that sort of stuff. I don't know what desirous you would be of seeing a naked person in any situation if you didn't have access to that.

[Michael]

Do they not have access to porn?

[Armstrong]

China, from what I've understood in the past, because as part of this article, they crack down so hard on their Internet. They don't, they don't have, you know, unfettered porn like we have in the United States.

[Getty]

But for some reason they're fetters turned me on.

[Armstrong]

But for some reason they're allowing this. So you don't allow porn on your Internet, but you got porn though, right? You got neighbors trading pictures of daughters and wives.

[Michael]

It's porn without consent.

[Armstrong]

You're videoing your life in the bathroom and sharing it with your friends. What the hell?

[Getty]

Or selling it to people online.

[Armstrong]

Selling it, obviously.

[Getty]

Yeah, yeah.

[Michael]

Creeps.

[Getty]

Yeah, I, I, we really, really, really need religion or like a specific moral code as, as human beings. It is too easy according to every philosophy that's ever taken root. It's too easy to be drawn to the dark side and, and, and become something you should not be. It's just like every single minute of every day. Well, the, the natural state of the universe is entropy, right? Chaos. Ugliness. Well, not ugliness per se, but chaos.

[Armstrong]

Yes, Everything is moving toward disorder unless you have a very strong force to hold it in order. And that's true of every all matter. Yes. Planets and human souls and Civilizations. Yeah.

[Getty]

That's freaking profound right there, huh?

[Armstrong]

Did.

[Getty]

Yingma.

[Armstrong]

Do you know Ying Ma, Katie? She is a Bay Area person. Grew up in China. Wrote a book about growing up in Oakland and how racist it was. Got on a lot of radio shows. Just wondered if you ever talked.

[Michael]

Yes, okay. Yeah, I'd forgotten. But, yeah, now that you say that.

[Armstrong]

We had her on a bunch of times. Did she tell us a thing about the cats off the air? On the air, though, Jody, you remember? I don't want to share a story. She said off air.

[Getty]

I can't remember. I think it might have been off air. Of course. This is a podcast. It's not being aired, per se.

[Armstrong]

I don't think she'd mind. I know her pretty well anyway. She grew up in China under Communist control then. Sound very elite to me. I mean, when she was a kid, they'd go out and find a stray cat for dinner. Katie.

[Michael]

Okay.

[Armstrong]

She'd go out and grab a stray cat, bring it back, put it in a bucket of water, put the lid on it, then skin it and cut it up and fry it up and eat it because they didn't have any other food because they were desperate.

[Michael]

Yeah, you do what you have to do.

[Getty]

Oh, yeah, I do that. Before I'd starve.

[Armstrong]

But that doesn't sound like, you know, for those people who said I lived in China, it was fantastic.

[Michael]

They're eating the cats, eating the dogs.

[Getty]

Reading the pets of the people who live there.

[Armstrong]

I completely forgotten about that. Wow. They're eating the cats. They're eating the dogs.

[Getty]

Do we have any of those musical remixes?

[Armstrong]

One with the Schroeder theme. That was the best thing ever. That was one of the best things that's ever happened in the history of the world, including the moon landing. They're eating the dogs. The people that came in, they're eating the cats. They're eating. They're eating the pets of the people that live. There you go. Any reason to play that?

[Getty]

Come visit Scenic China.

[Armstrong]

Toby. Lincoln. I'm talking to my cats.

[Getty]

I. I won't do anything like this.

[Armstrong]

I promise.

[Michael]

No, there's a big stutter in there, Michael. I don't know.

[Getty]

Yeah, watch your back, Toby.

[Michael]

Well, I guess that's it.

[Armstrong]

You have a cat named Toby. This is an Iheart podcast. Guaranteed human.