Socialism Needs a Jingle!

Summary

Armstrong & Getty On Demand

Episode: "Socialism Needs a Jingle!"

Date: July 21, 2026
Host: iHeartPodcasts

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Episode Overview

This Armstrong & Getty “One More Thing” bonus episode centers on the duo’s trademark banter while testing out a humorous jingle about socialism, riffing on social satire from The Babylon Bee, and spiraling into a lively conversation about American life—from Walmart woes to microwave etiquette, OCD, and the awkwardness of neighborly relations. The tone is playful, irreverent, and lightly philosophical, peppered with asides, observational humor, and a barrage of witty one-liners.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Socialism Jingle Audition (01:37-02:36)

• Premise: The team thinks they need a recurring socialism jingle for the show.
• Content: They play a spoof jingle, mimicking a corny 1970s sitcom theme.
  • Lyrics tease: Socialism promises hugs, coffee, and random strangers as friends.
• Armstrong's Reaction: Jokes about its sitcom feel and ponders if it was AI-generated.
  • "[Did] you type in write me a song about socialism that sounds like the theme song to a 1978 TV show?" (02:36 – Armstrong)
• Getty's Critique: Finds the lyrics “a little rambling, but that was funny.”
  • Armstrong and Getty agree it’s “the laziest One More Thing podcast ever” but plan to use the jingle on the main show.

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2. The Babylon Bee Joke Roundup (02:59-11:47)

Why Babylon Bee?

• Armstrong pulls several of the satirical site's recent headlines for rapid-fire commentary, praising their writing as sharper (albeit less lucrative) than traditional late night show writers.

Favorite Bee Headlines & Reactions:

• On Eccentric Haircuts:

  • “Woman with micro bangs wondering how everyone knows she hates her father.” (03:27)
  • Getty identifies the stereotype, Armstrong riffs on the telltale signs.

• Walmart Culture & Observations:

  • “Woman kicked out of Walmart for not wearing pajama bottoms.”
  • Getty avoids Walmart due to the stressful parking experience:
    • “I'll pay an extra few bucks not to do that.” (04:03 – Getty)
  • Armstrong comments on Super Walmart size: “If you park at the wrong end... hope you have your walking shoes on.” (04:12)

• Microwave Beep OCD Bit:

  • “Absolute psychopath lets microwave count down all the way to zero.”
  • Armstrong muses, “I do that because I hate the beeping… Who decided we needed that?” (04:56)
  • Getty and Armstrong exchange quirks about microwave settings—odd or even numbers—and reflect on OCD tendencies in their families.

• OCD and Family Stories:

  • Getty: “I used to only change my air conditioning in my car by even numbers… I convinced myself, ‘nope, you've got to fight it.’” (05:48-06:20)
  • Armstrong relates to having a child with OCD and muses on managing tendencies before they become overwhelming.

• Mental Health in Families:

  • “I was in my middle ages before I realized how much depression there was in my mom's family… back in the day when treatments were not very good.” (06:56 – Getty)
  • Armstrong notes his mother’s adoption limits family mental health history.

• Awkward Neighbor Relations:

  • “Man introduces himself to next door neighbors who just recently moved in nine years ago.”
  • Getty shares a true story about welcoming new neighbors by text, then never seeing them again:
    • “Looking forward to getting to know you. Welcome to the neighborhood. Never exchanged a word since.” (07:48)

• Boomers and Loud Cell Phones:

  • “Boomers prepare for church by setting cell phone to maximum volume.”
  • Armstrong: “Why is it set so loud? And how do you not know the button to press to make it stop?” (08:19)
  • Getty: “That third ring, that fourth ring, you know, God help us.” (08:37)

• Religious Satire:

  • “God will never give you more than you can handle in life, says man unfamiliar with God, life.”
  • Getty: “Oh, that's perfect.” (09:24)

• Enduring Boring Entertainment:

  • “Friend assures you TV show gets really good if you can just push through nine bad seasons.”
  • Armstrong on Infinite Jest:
    • “It sucks so hard… I'm about halfway through it. It's my least favorite book I've ever read in my life.” (09:31)

• Carnivals, Transition Jokes, and More:

  • “Collapsible carnival ride operated by toothless meth addict. Probably fine.”
  • “Newly transitioned woman proudly runs over first curb.”
  • “Doctor reassures nervous patient this procedure will make him truckload of money.”
  • “Plane crashes after no one tells the passengers to fly safe.”

• Showbiz, Civil Engineers, and the Death Penalty for Annoying Email Intros:

  • “Texas approves death penalty for anyone who starts an email with Happy Monday.”
    • “If you start your email with that... you and I probably aren't going to hang out a lot.” (11:24 – Armstrong)
  • “Man who ate at Taco Bell getting more Baja Blast than he bargained for.”
    • Getty: “Oh, that is so good. Well done, Babylon B. You guys are great. Poor Taco Bell. They're taking a beating right now.” (11:39)
    • Armstrong: “That's a little more Baja Blast than I needed.” (11:50)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the Socialism Jingle:
  • Armstrong: “This is gonna be the worst sitcom I’ve ever seen about a couple of friends who hang out together because they believe in socialism.” (02:36)
  • Getty: “As a songwriter, I found the lyrics a little rambling, but that was funny.” (02:53)
• Babylon Bee Writers:
  • Armstrong: “Their writers are good. I think their hit and miss is better than the people who write for, you know, Jimmy Kimmel.” (03:08)
• Walmart Size and Navigation:
  • Armstrong: “If you’re in a Super Walmart, you need to know the layout because it’s so giant, if you park at the wrong end... hope you have your walking shoes on.” (04:12)
• OCD and Daily Rituals:
  • Getty: “I used to only change my air conditioning in my car by even numbers… I convinced myself, ‘nope, you’ve got to fight it… realize everything’s great and move on with your day.’” (05:48-06:20)
• Neighborhood Awkwardness:
  • Getty: “Welcome to the neighborhood. Never exchanged a word since. And now it’s at the awkward stage.” (07:48)
• Boomer Cell Phone Comedy:
  • Armstrong: “Why is it set so loud? And how do you not know the button to press to make it stop?” (08:19)
• On the Famous Book Everyone Says Gets Good:
  • Armstrong: “It sucks so hard… my least favorite book I’ve ever read in my life. But everybody says you gotta get at least halfway through before it all comes together…” (09:31)
• Death Penalty for Annoying Emails:
  • Armstrong: “If you start your email with [Happy Monday]... you and I probably aren’t going to hang out a lot.” (11:24)
• Capping Off with Taco Bell Humor:
  • Armstrong: “That’s a little more Baja Blast than I needed.” (11:50)

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Timestamps for Notable Segments

• 01:37 — Intro to the “Socialism” Jingle
• 02:01-02:36 — Jingle Performance & Immediate Reactions
• 02:59-11:47 — Babylon Bee Joke Lightning Round
  • 03:27 — Extreme Haircuts Satire
  • 04:03-04:24 — Walmart Navigation Struggles
  • 04:56-05:48 — Microwave Beeping & OCD Quirks
  • 07:26-08:12 — Neighbor Introduction Awkwardness
  • 08:19-08:56 — Loud Phones in Church Comedy
  • 09:24 — Religious Satire Highlight
  • 09:31-10:26 — Entertainment Endurance Riffs
  • 11:04-11:50 — Final Satire Hits: Rock ‘n’ Roll Cities, Annoying Emails, and Taco Bell Bathroom Humor

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Episode Takeaway

This bonus episode is a breezy, joke-driven romp through contemporary satire, personal quirks, and gentle social commentary, channeled through Armstrong & Getty’s bantering style. Fun, fast-paced, and packed with smart asides, it’s a playful listen for fans of observational comedy, skewering both pop culture and everyday oddities with affection and wit.

Transcript

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[Armstrong]

We need a Socialism jingle. We talk about it so much. We're going to need your help choosing one. It's One more thing. Armstrong and Getty.

[Getty]

One more thing.

[Armstrong]

So Michael, are we going to just listen to one and give it a thumbs up or thumbs down or do have different ones to choose from? Just one here. Okay.

[Socialism Jingle Voice]

Got a void in your life and no hope for the future. Are you tired of being all alone? Find out the solution called Socialism. It's got hugs. Lots of hugs. Plus coffee and conversation with random strange

[Getty]

strangers who want to be your friends.

[Socialism Jingle Voice]

Socialism. This time it's really gonna work. Socialism.

[Armstrong]

So did you type in Write Me a Song about socialism that sounds like the theme song to a 1978 TV show? Yes, because that's what it sounded like. This is gonna be the worst sitcom I've ever seen about a couple of friends who hang out together because they believe in socialism.

[Getty]

As a songwriter, I found the lyrics a little rambling, but that was funny.

[Armstrong]

Was funny. We'll have to use that tomorrow on the radio show. Yes, Laziest One More Thing podcast ever. I just went through the recent several days of the Babylon Bee and picked out a bunch of their jokes, which are pretty dang funny. Is good. Their writers are good. They're, they're, I think they're hit and misses better than the people who write for, you know, Jimmy Kimmel. I don't know what kind of money they're making compared to Jimmy Kimmel's writers,

[Getty]

but how about Jimmy Fallon?

[Armstrong]

The funnier Jimmy here's from the Babylon Bee. I hope you don't need the picture for this woman with micro bangs wondering how everyone knows she hates her father. Basically any woman with a extreme haircut.

[Getty]

Yeah, I saw that.

[Armstrong]

How do you know you. I hate my father. I like woman kicked out of Walmart for not wearing pajama bottoms. Freaking Walmart man.

[Getty]

See, I almost never am in the Wally and my wife shops there a lot, like for groceries because it's, you

[Armstrong]

know, good prices and they got everything.

[Getty]

I find the whole parking lot, walking to the store, the crowds that it's stressful to me. I'll pay an extra few bucks not to do that.

[Armstrong]

If you're in a Super Walmart, you need to know the layout because it's so giant, if you park at the wrong end of the parking lot, you know, I hope you have your walking shoes on.

[Getty]

Yeah, it's going to a town.

[Armstrong]

Yeah, it is. You're a long way away from the stuff you might be wanting. Hey, you know, I'm picturing some of

[Getty]

the, like I lived in Verdon, Illinois for a couple years. Very small town in central Illinois. You got now Saline is a pretty big town. I'm thinking of some of the smaller towns I've lived in, passed through a super Walmart. In terms of square footage, how does that compare with like the town square where most of the businesses are in

[Armstrong]

a little American, bigger, more.

[Getty]

Yeah, yeah.

[Armstrong]

Back to the Babylon. Be absolute psychopath. Lets microwave count down all the way to zero. Is that a common thing? I do that because I hate the beeping. I hate beeping out of electronics. Who decided we needed that? Why can't you turn it off all the time? I don't know.

[Socialism Jingle Voice]

Beep, beep, beep, beep.

[Armstrong]

Why so many beeps to let me know you got to zero on my freaking pop Tart. God dang it.

[Socialism Jingle Voice]

Wow.

[Getty]

Number one, put it in a toaster.

[Armstrong]

Oh, it pierces my brain.

[Getty]

Oh, interesting. My wife used to make fun of me, speaking of microwaves, because I would regularly heat something for 17 seconds or 23 or whatever.

[Armstrong]

Because I would think, hey, here's the question. Is it always an odd number? No, because I'm always an even number on my. What I set my microwave for. I can't even imagine setting it for an odd number.

[Getty]

I have confessed in the past that I used to only change my air conditioning in my car by even numbers. If I was at 72 and it was, you know, sort of chillier than I needed, I move it up to 74. I would never do odd numbers. And because OCD runs in my family, a lot of families, I convinced myself, nope, you've got to fight it. I'm talking to myself now. You've got to fight that sort of impulse. You've got to regularly do the opposite of it, realize everything's great and move on with your day.

[Armstrong]

You think that's helpful? It feels like it is.

[Getty]

I don't know.

[Armstrong]

It does seem, because I have one kid who's got OCD to a pretty high degree and it can kind of take over your life, so maybe fighting it at the lower level is better so it doesn't grow.

[Getty]

Yeah, I don't want to out anybody, but I have been very, very surprised to learn fairly recently how prevalent it is in my family.

[Armstrong]

And it comes in different sizes. Like I have a little bit of it, but nothing that like has any effect on my life. But I can't have imagine choosing an odd number on the microwave.

[Getty]

I think I was in my middle ages. Yeah, that's funny. That's funny. I was in my middle ages before I realized how much depression there was in my mom's family. I mean, like back in the day when treatments were not very good, people hospitalized and shock treatments and stuff like that, Just a lot of it.

[Armstrong]

My mom's adopted, so you got half, half the knowledge of that sort of thing. I don't know at all she ever

[Getty]

pursued the birth family thing just for medical purposes?

[Armstrong]

I don't think so. Babylon be man introduces himself to next door neighbors who just recently moved in nine years ago. My neighbors all came and introduced themselves to me and I'm glad they're that kind of people because I like knowing them and I talk to them on a regular basis. I don't know if I would have done that if they hadn't been the kind of people they are.

[Getty]

We had neighbors move in and like that day there was a dog running around the neighborhood and I texted, I got the number, I texted, I said, hey, there's dog running around. Do you happen to have a black Lab or whatever it was. And. And they said, no, no, we don't. But thanks. I said, yeah, no worries. Looking forward to getting to know you. Welcome to the neighborhood. Never exchanged a word since. And now it's at the awkward stage.

[Armstrong]

Right, Right.

[Getty]

So you've been here for a year and a quarter. Thought I'd say hello.

[Armstrong]

Boomers prepare for church by setting cell phone to maximum volume. When your phone goes off in a meeting, why is it set to so loud? And how do you not know the button to press to make it stop? How do you not know that?

[Getty]

That third ring, that fourth ring, you know, God help us. That fifth ring.

[Armstrong]

And I always say this because this is what drives me crazy. People always check and see who it's from before they turn it off. The most important that you've interrupted this entire whatever we're at. Still got to check and see who it is because it might be important. How often is it important? Really?

[Getty]

It's not important.

[Armstrong]

Wife begins pre bedtime ritual of chilling feet in freezer. I liked this one. Babylon Bee is a religious organization. That's why you get a lot of stuff about religion and God and stuff like that. The Bible or the OR church. God will never give you more than you can handle in life. Says man unfamiliar with God comma life.

[Getty]

Oh, that's perfect.

[Armstrong]

It really is.

[Getty]

Oh, beautiful.

[Armstrong]

I got a lot of these. Friend assures you. TV show gets really good if you can just push through nine bad seasons. Yeah, I'm dealing with a book like this right now. One of the most famous books in the last 30 years. Infinite Infinite Just by David Foster Wallace. It's a nine. It's almost a thousand pages. Won all kinds of prizes. It's legendary that it's a cult favorite. Oh, my God. He was a hero until he killed himself. It sucks so hard. And I'm about halfway through it. It's my least favorite book I've ever read in my life. But everybody says you got to get at least halfway through before it all comes together and makes sense. So I'm gonna get to halfway.

[Getty]

Oh, boy.

[Armstrong]

God, it sucks.

[Getty]

I, you know, obviously that's the point of the joke, but I have had people say, now the third season really takes off, but you ought to work watch the first two and the first three episodes because it's really the fourth episode of the third season that really takes off.

[Armstrong]

This is a good one for this time of year. Collapsible carnival ride operated by toothless meth addict. Probably fine. Newly transitioned woman proudly runs over first curb. Wow. Doctor reassures nervous patient this procedure will make him truckload of money.

[Getty]

Yeah.

[Armstrong]

Plane crashes after no one tells the passengers to fly safe. I'm trying to decide which one because you want to end on a good joke, right?

[Getty]

Very important show business civil engineer really

[Armstrong]

starting to regret Building City on Rock and roll.

[Getty]

Oh, didn't see that coming.

[Armstrong]

I know which one I'm going to end on. These are both two. These last two are both good. Texas approves death penalty for anyone who starts an email with Happy Monday.

[Getty]

Oh, man.

[Armstrong]

If you start your email with that to start the week, you and I probably aren't going to hang out a lot. And I like this one man who ate at Taco Bell getting more Baja Blast than he bargained for.

[Getty]

Oh, that is so good. Well done, Babylon B. You guys are great. Poor Taco Bell. They're taking a beating right now.

[Armstrong]

They are.

[Getty]

Well, I guess that's it.

[Armstrong]

That's a little more Baja Blast than I needed.

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