The Most Important Question To Ask...

Summary

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Armstrong & Getty On Demand

Episode: The Most Important Question To Ask...
Date: May 26, 2026
Host: Armstrong & Getty
Podcast Network: iHeartPodcasts

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Episode Overview

In this candid and light-hearted episode, Armstrong & Getty zero in on what they dub "the most important question" to ask before you marry or even date someone: Does your dog sleep in bed with you? The discussion explores how attitudes about pets—especially dogs—have become a defining and sometimes divisive issue in modern dating and relationships. Using personal anecdotes, poll data, and a healthy dose of humor, the hosts examine why pet preferences, particularly whether animals belong in one's everyday activities and sleeping arrangements, have become a major compatibility dealbreaker.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Real Dealbreaker: Pets and the Dating Pool (03:08–04:00)

• Armstrong introduces the episode's central premise: "The most important question to ask someone before you marry them or even date them."
• The hosts jokingly suggest the most important question isn't about gender or sexuality, but rather: Does your dog sleep in bed with you? (03:24).
• Armstrong frames the "dog in bed" issue as a massive dividing line for modern singles, especially in the context of online dating.

2. The Pet-Companion Lifestyle: Anecdotes and Numbers (04:00–07:21)

• Armstrong describes a Memorial Day outing with his sons to a riverside restaurant teeming with dogs on the deck, in cars, and even on boats.
• He notes the rapid increase of pet-friendly places across America, especially in states like California.
• The hosts reference statistics (American Kennel Club & polling sources) indicating:
  • 45% of dog owners let their pets sleep in their bed.
  • 62% of small dog owners have their dogs sleep in bed; figures are lower for medium (41%) and large dogs (about 33%).
  • Armstrong: “That seems a little high to me. But even in like regular surveys, it’s a third. 62% of people let small dogs sleep in their bed.” (06:10)

3. Compatibility and Resentment: The Personal Stakes (07:21–09:57)

• Armstrong and his co-host discuss their own hard lines—neither wants dogs on beds or in cars, and both note how difficult that makes dating.
• Armstrong: “It is an absolute red line. We can’t be a couple thing for me. I’m not taking road trips with the dog in the car and we’re not sleeping with the dog in the bed. I just can’t do it.” (07:29)
• They express empathy for both sides, but stress how these preferences create deep, mutual resentment if partners aren't aligned.
• Armstrong reflects on advising his son that taking an anti-dog-in-bed/car stance “cuts out, like, half the chicks available out there by taking that stance. It’s a tough one.” (09:47)

4. The Broader “Lifestyle” Divide (10:07–13:00)

• The co-host admits the dog-everywhere lifestyle looks stressful: "I’m in a grocery store, I’m in a hardware store. I don’t want to be dealing with a dog." (10:07)
• Armstrong and the co-host empathize with dog owners but see the lifestyle as incompatible for them.
• The issue is likened to other intimate “dealbreaker” topics (such as using the bathroom in front of each other): "It reminds me of that 'do you use the bathroom in front of each other' topic... both sides of the question think the other is a lunatic." (08:38)
• The hosts argue that online dating profiles should prominently list pet sleeping/roadtripping arrangements to avoid mismatches:
  • Armstrong: “It should be, like, the very top line, ‘I take my dog everywhere.’ A lot of people say you have to love dogs. Okay, I love dogs. ...Don’t want them riding the car with me, and I don’t want them in the bed.” (11:30)

5. The Social Reality: Dating Pool Halved (12:35–13:00)

• Armstrong drives home the point that this issue is so significant that “whether you’re pro or anti, you’ve cut the dating pool, like, in half, which is already hard.” (12:35)
• He and his co-host riff on the hypothetical of choosing between a romantic partner with a dog in the bed or an unsuitable match—underscoring the seriousness and comedy of the situation.

6. Final Thoughts, Humorous Scenarios & Possible Solutions (13:21–14:31)

• The hosts propose possible workarounds, like sleeping in separate rooms.
• Armstrong: “Maybe that’s the answer on that one. ...I’m heading to Joe’s slumber palace right down the hall. If you need something, yell.” (14:00)
• Co-host jokes about replacing dogs with children sticking heads out car windows (14:17), keeping the atmosphere playful even as they return to the show's main point.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Dating Dealbreakers:

  • Armstrong: "The most important question to ask... is not your gender or whatever, it's: does your dog sleep in bed with you? That’s a bigger dividing line than whether you're actually a dude or a chick." (03:16–03:24)

• On Lifestyle Fit:

  • Armstrong: "I am perfectly okay with the fact that you do this, but it is an absolute red line. We can’t be a couple thing for me. I’m not taking road trips with the dog in the car and we’re not sleeping with the dog in the bed. I just can’t do it." (07:29)

• On Mutual Resentment:

  • Armstrong: "I would spend my entire time fighting back bitterness or resentfulness by having a dog waking me up in the bed or being annoying in the car..." (07:52)
  • Co-host: "You would hate that every night you'd be a little resentful that the dog can't get in bed. Now you love the dog..." (09:17)

• On the Half-Halving of the Dating Pool:

  • Armstrong: "But I'm telling you, you're cutting out, like, half the chicks available out there by taking that stance. It's a tough one." (09:54)
  • "You’ve cut the dating pool, like, in half, which is already hard now." (12:35)

• On Potential Solutions:

  • Armstrong: "I could do that. Maybe that's the answer on that one. Like I said... Give her a little squeeze and say it’s a sleepy time. You and the dog enjoy yourselves. I'm heading to Joe's slumber palace right down the hall." (14:00)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 03:08 – Introduction of the “most important” dating question
• 04:00-06:10 – Public dog culture and polling stats on dogs sleeping in beds
• 07:21-09:17 – Personal boundaries and resentment in relationships over pets
• 09:57-10:26 – Impact on the dating pool, especially for young singles
• 10:07-13:21 – Further discussion of pet integration into daily life and relationship dynamics
• 13:21-14:31 – Workarounds: sleeping separately, humorous alternatives

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Tone & Takeaways

The conversation is friendly, humorous, and filled with lightly self-deprecating stories. Armstrong and the co-host maintain a live-and-let-live attitude—never dogmatic, but honest about how sharply the pet divide shapes romantic compatibility.

Main takeaway:
For modern singles, the question of how pets fit into everyday life—especially sleeping and traveling—may be the biggest romantic dealbreaker of all. Armstrong & Getty urge listeners not to ignore this red line and suggest dating platforms embrace it as a basic filter to avoid future misery.

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Transcript

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[Jacob Goldstein]

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[Armstrong]

The most important question to ask someone before you marry them or even date them. It's one more thing. Armstrong and Getty.

[Co-host or Guest]

One more thing. What sex are you? Just to be sure, check the junk.

[Armstrong]

I think bigger than that is the dog. Does your dog sleep in bed with you? That's a bigger dividing line than whether you're actually a dude or a chick. Oh, my God. This has become very clear to me having been did online dating for a total of like five months and I will never do it again. It's not for me. But man, that's a big one. And I don't know if there's any bridge in that gap on a whole bunch of this stuff. So I was looking. This started this conversation with my son yesterday. We went. I wanted to eat something somewhere different for Memorial Day, somewhere fun. So we went to this restaurant that's along the local river. Restaurant on the river. And got a deck on the river and all that sort of stuff. And it's cool. So we went and ate and the food was good and it was fun. And Memorial Day ish. There were people there that had dogs at the restaurant.

[Jacob Goldstein]

It's fine.

[Armstrong]

It's kind of half outdoor, but still. You brought your dog to the restaurant. Not everybody does.

[Co-host or Guest]

That restaurant we both stumbled out of many years ago.

[Armstrong]

Yes, this is true.

[Co-host or Guest]

An institution. Yeah.

[Armstrong]

But I was looking up the percentages. It's hard to nail these down for a variety of reasons. Part of it is you always end up with a whole bunch of surveys that clearly Global vet link says 80% of American pet owners take their pets on trips annually. Of course, you're a. Yeah, exactly. You're a pet food or a vet thing or whatever. But the percentages are growing. I think we all realize this. Of restaurants that allow dogs in them.

[Co-host or Guest]

Yeah. From zero to some.

[Armstrong]

Several. From zero to. If you're. If you're not old enough to have lived this. From zero. It Was inconceivable that anybody would even ask the question, would it be okay

[Co-host or Guest]

for me to sane would be okay

[Armstrong]

if I brought my dog in here? What would be the answer to every restaurant you go to? Especially in like living in California now? Pretty much always there's at least that dog there, if not many, many. Especially if there's any sort of outdoor deck. And then whether you want to do that or not. And then there's the take the dog in your car. Oh, I, I skipped over. So there are some dogs on the deck there at the restaurant. And I have to be careful here because my two sons have grown up with many, many, many dogs around them causing problems all the time. They're one of them in particular, my kids is quite anti having a dog around, which is unfortunate. But he just can't imagine why you'd bring a dog to the restaurant. Meant you had to drive there with the dog. And he's done many road trips with the dog in the car and does not like it at all because of everything that goes with it. And if you like it, fine, if you like it absolutely fine. But you got to find other people that like it also is the thing. And if you drive, I've done road trips with, with a dog you got to stop and let it out a lot. You got hair all over thing. Sometimes they throw up. If there's windy roads, there's, there's just, there's just a lot involved. Yeah. And if you like that sort of thing again, fine. But you got to have companions who also like it. Anyway. So you drove with the dog in the car to the restaurant and then it's at the restaurant and we were sitting there and then we saw several boats go by or they had dogs on the boat, which would be similar sort of thing. And again, fine, if you like that sort of thing. And then I was looking into the what percentage of people sleep with their pets. This is a little more solid information based on the polling. Looks like legitimate polling. American Kennel Club says 45% of dog owners let their dogs sleep in their bed. That seems a little high to me. But even in like regular surveys, it's a third. 62% of people let small dogs sleep in their bed. 41% of medium sized dog owners let them sleep in their bed. Only a third of large dog owners let them sleep in their bed. But 62% of small dog owners.

[Co-host or Guest]

Yeah, yeah, it's a hard no. Hey, glad we got together, enjoyed the reindeer games. I'm going over there to sleep Good night you and your dog.

[Armstrong]

Good night your cat. Sleep in your bed. Michael. No, no. Again, I am perfectly okay with the fact that you do this, but it is a. It is an absolute red line. We're can't be a couple thing for me. I'm not taking road trips with the dog in the car and we're not sleeping with the dog in the bed. I just can't do it. I can't do it. Yeah, if I, if I tried to do it because like you're really nice and everything else about you I absolutely think is fantastic. And I think we could make a great couple. I would spend my entire time fighting back bitterness or resentfulness by having a dog waking me up in the bed or being annoying in the car. And I realize for a lot of you listening right now, you love that. You absolutely love it. I know you. I have been with you. I have ridden in cars with you and then. And the whole bed thing and everything else.

[Co-host or Guest]

Or airplanes, God help us, airplanes.

[Armstrong]

You love it. But man, my only point in this is not right or wrong. It's just. It is a hard dividing line because if you're.

[Co-host or Guest]

It reminds me of that do you use the bathroom in front of each other topic that we talked about a few weeks ago or it was like, oh my God, you what, what said both sides of the question. Yes, you're a lunatic.

[Armstrong]

Right? Both sides, right. Yeah. Yeah. I had that very conversation with a woman and well, I'll look at it from the other side with the dog thing to be more pro that side. I realize you would be resentful about the dogs on the floor and doesn't isn't in bed with you anymore. You'd be. You would hate that every night you'd be a little resentful that the dog can't get in bed. Is now you love the dog and

[Co-host or Guest]

this person is hurt the dog's feelings

[Armstrong]

or having to take your boring road trips without the dog in the car because you love it so much. So yeah, I don't know. That's just where they're way, way, way, way, way more pets. There's all kinds of data around this way, way, way more pets. And we spend way more money on pets than anybody probably has in the history of the world. But that is a huge dividing line. And I know my son's a hardcore. He'll never be in a relationship with somebody is going to want to have a dog in the bed or in the car. And that eliminates. I told him, I said I understand Because I feel the same way. But I'm telling you, you're cutting out, like, half the chicks available out there by taking that stance. It's a tough one.

[Co-host or Guest]

It is a tough one.

[Armstrong]

Like, half. I mean, seriously, not exaggerating, it might be. Half of college girls have a dog that they expect to sleep in the bed and ride in the car with them.

[Co-host or Guest]

Wow. Yeah, I just. It looks stressful to me, the dog everywhere, lifestyle. I'm in a grocery store, I'm in a hardware store. I'm at a restaurant. I don't want to be dealing with a dog.

[Armstrong]

What about a small dog? But it's first dog, Paris Hilton dog.

[Co-host or Guest]

That's better. Because the thing's unlikely to cause any problems.

[Armstrong]

But.

[Co-host or Guest]

And again, this is, like you said, it's not. I'm not judging anybody or saying, you're wrong, I'm right. It's just interesting that I just. It looks stressful to me, trying to, you know, control your dog in a restaurant or a bar or whatever. Judy and I, we used to go up to our mountain cabin pretty regularly. And frankly, getting Baxter ruined it. Not ruined it completely, but he upped the stress because he would puke a lot, so he had to change his feeding schedule. And then he was hungry, and then, you know, have to drive super carefully, then get up there and feed him. And then, you know, we'd go off for long hikes. Well, he would whimper and cry, and he wanted to come. And I was like, all right, now we're walking a dog. We're not us hiking. And we got to watch him because there are snakes and the rest of it. And it just. I don't know.

[Armstrong]

I don't know. Yeah.

[Co-host or Guest]

And it's not like I lack the capacity to love or anything. Please ask me about my children. I just don't get how it's not more stressful for people as opposed to pleasurable, but again, to each their own.

[Armstrong]

Well, yeah, but my only point really is I don't understand why this hasn't become more of a conversation. Because it is such a red line. It should be. I think it should be, like, on all dating profile websites, stuff like that. It should be, like, the very top line, I take my dog everywhere. A lot of people say you have to love dogs. Okay, I love dogs. Oh, yeah. I absolutely love dogs. Don't want them riding the car with me, and I don't want them in the bed. So then we might not see. Just kind of have it. The top line, everybody. 100% no on dogs sleeping in bed or 100% always. I will be miserable the rest of my life if my dog doesn't get to sleep in bed. See, don't waste your time with each other. I guess start down that road.

[Co-host or Guest]

No dog in the car. But, like, for. How about just your. You're running errands or something like that?

[Armstrong]

I don't want a dog in a car. I. I don't understand why I would want other people.

[Co-host or Guest]

Can you hate dogs, really? And you hate people who permit it.

[Armstrong]

What's the upside of bringing the dog in the car

[Co-host or Guest]

and stick his nose out and smell stuff and, oh, his ears flap and it's just fantastic.

[Armstrong]

That's fine. Again, if you like it. I just don't want to do it. And so the problem being is everybody, whether you're pro or anti, you've cut the dating pool, like, in half, which is already hard

[Co-host or Guest]

now.

[Armstrong]

You cut it in half.

[Co-host or Guest]

You rather end up with a woman who lets her dog sleep in the bed or a dude. It's about a coin flip for me.

[Armstrong]

God, I honestly feel like I could. I could. I could.

[Co-host or Guest]

Is he kind of pretty and effeminate looking? I don't know.

[Armstrong]

Right? Or can we just not have sex and just be happy together?

[Co-host or Guest]

Just be buddies?

[Armstrong]

Yeah, but I'm never gonna get used to the dog things.

[Co-host or Guest]

Stay on your half of the bed. All right, pal. All right. Then at least you're not a dog.

[Armstrong]

You gotta wear sweats.

[Co-host or Guest]

Fair enough.

[America 250 Event Promoter]

What about a girl that has a

[Armstrong]

small dog and a baby stroller dressed up, pushes it around everywhere and it's so disappointing because you meet somebody and they're so nice and everything. Every single other aspect of it. But I just. I'd have to be hypnotized to not be resentful at some point that I'm trying to sleep with the dog in the bed.

[Co-host or Guest]

Well. And there are a lot of married couples, I don't know what percentage, but that sleep separately sometimes as they age. Maybe it's snoring or sleep problems or stuff like that. A lot of tossing and turning. Could you see that? Maybe, or. I'd prefer not to.

[Armstrong]

Yeah, I could do that. Maybe that's the answer on that one. Like I said.

[Co-host or Guest]

Yeah. Enjoy the reindeer games. Give her a little squeeze and say it's a sleepy time. You and the dog enjoy yourselves. I'm heading to Joe's slumber palace right down the hall. If you need something, yell.

[Armstrong]

You don't need to drive with the dog.

[Co-host or Guest]

Just have one of your kids stick

[Armstrong]

their head out the window the whole time. I like if you need something yellow having somebody broke in. I'm on it.

[Co-host or Guest]

Slumbering over here. Have the dog look into it.

[America 250 Event Promoter]

Well, I guess that's it.

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[America 250 Event Promoter]

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[Jacob Goldstein]

this is Jacob Goldstein from what's yous Problem? When you buy business software from lots of vendors, the costs add up and it gets complicated and confusing. Odoo solves this. It's a single company that sells a suite of enterprise apps that handles everything from accounting to inventory to sales. Odoo is all connected on a single platform in a simple and affordable way. You can save money without missing out on the features you need. Check out Odoo at O D O O dot com. That's O D O O dot com.

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