Congress Shall Make No Law Yada Yada Yada...

Summary

Armstrong & Getty On Demand Episode: Congress Shall Make No Law Yada Yada Yada... Release Date: January 24, 2025

---

Introduction

In the January 24, 2025 episode of Armstrong & Getty On Demand, hosts Joe Getty and Jack Armstrong delve into the complexities of the U.S. Constitution, focusing particularly on the Bill of Rights and subsequent amendments. The discussion is peppered with humor and sharp commentary, making intricate legal topics accessible and entertaining for the audience.

---

Exploring the 14th Amendment and Birthright Citizenship

The episode opens with Joe Getty referencing the iconic phrase from the 1st Amendment, humorously blending it with the show's own tagline:

Joe Getty [00:00]: "Congress shall make no law. Yada yada yada. It's one more thing. Armstrong and Getty. One more thing."

This segues into a detailed yet lighthearted examination of the 14th Amendment, particularly its provisions on birthright citizenship—a topic of significant contemporary debate.

Joe Getty [00:20]: "We were Talking about the 14th Amendment and the question of birthright citizenship, which is a hot conversational topic these days and actually really interesting."

The hosts break down the amendment's five paragraphs, highlighting its various clauses from naturalization to the disqualification of individuals involved in insurrection. They humorously critique the amendment's content, blending factual discussion with witty banter.

---

Dissecting the 8th Amendment: Cruel and Unusual Punishments

Transitioning to the 8th Amendment, Joe Getty offers a provocative theory on its interpretation:

Joe Getty [01:28]: "Cruel and unusual. If it's merely cruel, but you do it a lot, that's fine. And if, you know, a beating from a clown is certainly unusual, but it's no more cruel than any other sort of beating."
Joe Getty [01:36]: "Fair game clown beatings would be approved in the court of Joe Getty's justice."

Jack Armstrong chimes in with a humorous analogy:

Jack Armstrong [01:56]: "So you run somebody over with a car. People get hit by cars all the time. There's nothing unusual about that."

The hosts engage in a comedic exploration of the amendment's intent versus its real-world application, poking fun at potential loopholes and the often murky waters of legal interpretations.

---

A Comedic Take on the Bill of Rights

Joe Getty reflects on the general public's understanding of the Bill of Rights, fervently encouraging listeners to study history:

Joe Getty [02:01]: "I think we're missing a loophole here, folks, but I think everybody knows the. My God, I almost said one of the stupidest thing things I've ever said. I think everybody knows what's in the Bill of Rights. No, obviously most people don't. You should, but you don't, which is why you end up quartering troops, you jackasses. Study history."

Jack Armstrong provides an anecdote about James Madison's initial opposition to the Bill of Rights, adding humor to historical facts:

Jack Armstrong [02:29]: "I just learned the other day jams James Madison was really against a Bill of Rights. Really thought it was a terrible, terrible idea."

The segment underscores the importance of constitutional literacy, wrapped in the hosts' signature comedic style.

---

The 5th Amendment and Legal Nuances

The conversation shifts to the 5th Amendment, where Joe Getty recites its clauses with a blend of seriousness and humor:

Joe Getty [03:09]: "Not a long hitter. James Madison. So everybody knows. Freedom of religion, press, expression. The first right to bear arms. Quartering of soldiers. That's the third."

He proceeds to detail the amendment, emphasizing clauses like double jeopardy and self-incrimination:

Joe Getty [04:20]: "Double jeopardy, straight out of the Fifth Amendment. Nor shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself."

Jack Armstrong interjects with a playful take on general knowledge versus legal specifics:

Jack Armstrong [04:33]: "But why can't you testify against your husband or wife? No. There are no other relationships like that you can testify."

This segment highlights the complexities of legal protections in everyday relationships, presented through engaging dialogue.

---

Prohibition and the 18th Amendment

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to the 18th Amendment, which instituted Prohibition. The hosts explore its historical context and eventual repeal with a mix of nostalgia and critique:

Jack Armstrong [06:04]: "And did you say it is long or is it short? No more booze."
Joe Getty [06:06]: "Party's over."
Jack Armstrong [06:10]: "Party's back on the 21st?"

Joe Getty reminisces about the era, referencing H.L. Mencken's writings and the widespread illegal alcohol trade:

Joe Getty [06:43]: "Some of my favorite writings by H.L. mencken were written during prohibition when he would describe how Congress people and senators. Washington, D.C. you could get a drink practically as easy as you can right now."

The discussion underscores the unintended consequences of Prohibition, blending historical insights with the hosts' characteristic humor.

---

Amendment Amendments and Constitutional Evolution

Towards the episode's conclusion, the conversation shifts to more recent amendments, including the often-overlooked 22nd and fabricated 27th Amendments for comedic effect:

Joe Getty [08:27]: "One of my favorite liquor stores was named 22nd Amendment Liquors, which I always. I'm sorry, not 21st Amendment. Yeah, yeah. 22nd is presidential term limits. That'd just be a weird name."

Jack Armstrong humorously remarks on the impracticality of such names and the difficulty in passing new amendments:

Jack Armstrong [09:38]: "You know, our friend Tim thinks there should be more amendments that. That we are. We have been. We've made it too difficult."

Joe Getty expresses a desire for constitutional clarity, particularly regarding the 14th Amendment and birthright citizenship:

Joe Getty [09:58]: "I'd like to see some stuff clarified, like the 14th Amendment, the birthright, citizenship. All I want is added on if the parents have legal status in the United States. You can't just sneak in."

The segment highlights ongoing debates about constitutional interpretation and the challenges of amending foundational laws.

---

Conclusion

The episode wraps up with lighthearted banter and fictional declarations, maintaining the show's engaging and humorous tone:

Jack Armstrong [10:20]: "All I know. I'm glad you read that. When I get home, there are some soldiers sleeping soundly in my bed who are gonna not gonna be happy to hear what I now know."
Jack Armstrong [10:34]: "I declare on this 24th day, January 2025. That is it."

---

Notable Quotes

• Joe Getty [00:00]: "Congress shall make no law. Yada yada yada. It's one more thing."
• Joe Getty [01:36]: "Fair game clown beatings would be approved in the court of Joe Getty's justice."
• Joe Getty [02:01]: "I think everybody knows what's in the Bill of Rights. No, obviously most people don't. You should, but you don't, which is why you end up quartering troops, you jackasses."
• Joe Getty [06:43]: "Some of my favorite writings by H.L. mencken were written during prohibition when he would describe how Congress people and senators... you could get a drink practically as easy as you can right now."
• Joe Getty [09:58]: "I'd like to see some stuff clarified, like the 14th Amendment, the birthright, citizenship."

---

Key Takeaways

• Understanding Amendments: Joe Getty and Jack Armstrong provide an entertaining breakdown of various constitutional amendments, making complex legal concepts approachable.

• Historical Context: The discussion on Prohibition and the 18th Amendment offers valuable historical insights alongside humor, illustrating the unintended consequences of legislative actions.

• Constitutional Literacy: The hosts emphasize the importance of understanding the Bill of Rights and subsequent amendments, encouraging listeners to engage with foundational governmental texts.

• Humor in Discourse: Throughout the episode, humor serves as a vehicle to engage listeners while addressing serious topics, maintaining an informative yet entertaining atmosphere.

---

For those interested in the nuanced and often humorous exploration of constitutional law and history, this episode of Armstrong & Getty On Demand offers both enlightenment and entertainment.

Transcript

[Joe Getty]

Congress shall make no law. Yada yada yada. It's one more thing. Armstrong and Getty. One more thing.

[Jack Armstrong]

Joe, Just yada yada yada.

[Joe Getty]

James Madison Talking about the 14th Amendment during the show. Yeah, did you? Just yada yada yada. The Bill of Rights.

[Katie]

You did.

[Joe Getty]

We were Talking about the 14th Amendment and the question of birthright citizenship, which is a hot conversational topic these days and actually really interesting. And I mentioned that the 14th amendment is actually five paragraphs long and it would take a long time to read to you. The first part is about all persons born are naturalized, yada yada yada. The birthright thing. Second part is representatives shall be apportioned among the several states according their respective numbers, blah, blah, blah.

[Jack Armstrong]

But the next part's about streaming contracts, which is really weird, right?

[Joe Getty]

Exactly. Yep. You got to be able to cancel them. Third one's about senators and Congress, people who may or may not have been involved in an insurrection or rebellion. You remember that one came up. You know, after January 6th and a couple more paragraphs, nobody knows. But I was looking at the amendments and it would appear that in a close race, the shortest Amendment is the 8th Amendment. Excessive bail shall not be required, nor excessive fines imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted.

[Jack Armstrong]

Cruel or unusual.

[Joe Getty]

Cruel and unusual.

[Jack Armstrong]

And unusual.

[Joe Getty]

Right. And you know my theory, they can.

[Katie]

Be one or the other.

[Joe Getty]

Cruel and unusual. Right. If it's merely cruel, but you do it a lot, that's fine. And if, you know, a beating from a clown is certainly unusual, but it's no more cruel than any other sort of beating. Fair game clown beatings would be approved in the court of Joe Getty's justice.

[Jack Armstrong]

So you run somebody over with a car. People get hit by cars all the time. There's nothing unusual about that.

[Joe Getty]

Now it's cruel, unspeakably cruel, but not unusual. I think we're missing a loophole here, folks, but I think everybody knows the. My God, I almost said one of the stupidest thing things I've ever said. I think everybody knows what's in the Bill of Rights. No, obviously most people don't. You should, but you don't, which is why you end up quartering troops, you jackasses. Study history.

[Jack Armstrong]

I just learned the other day jams James Madison was really against a Bill of Rights. Really thought it was a terrible, terrible idea. But then when the vote went against him, he, like we should do more often now decided, okay, well, that's been decided. Now I'm going to argue what they ought to be because it's going to happen even though I didn't want it to happen in the first place.

[Joe Getty]

And indeed, he brought it to the floor of the House immediately because he said he would.

[Jack Armstrong]

The reason he didn't like the Bill of Rights is he is afraid that now that makes it seem like Outside of these 10 things, everything else the government can do. That was his concern.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah. Yeah. I think history is proof that he was wrong. He's a real statesman and. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Jack Armstrong]

Tiny, tiny little idiot. I've never seen a smaller founding father.

[Katie]

Oh, boy.

[Joe Getty]

Not a long hitter. James Madison. So everybody knows. Freedom of religion, press, expression. The first right to bear arms. Quartering of soldiers. That's the third.

[Jack Armstrong]

I don't have to go to soldiers. Oh, man. When I get home, I got some news for those guys. Get out of my house.

[Joe Getty]

Can I get my stuff at least? It'll. I'll ship it to you. Search and seizure, trial and punishment, compensation for takings. That's the Fifth Amendment. Everybody knows. The part about how you don't have to testify against yourself. But that's actually one of many things mentioned in the Fifth Amendment.

[Jack Armstrong]

I didn't know that. I should read that over.

[Joe Getty]

I'd forgotten it. It's one of those things. I had to memorize it at one point. But here's the entirety of the Fifth Amendment. I thought this was interesting. No person shall be held to answer for a capital or otherwise infamous crime unless on a presentment or indictment of a grand jury, except in cases arising in the land or naval forces or in the militia, when in actual service in time of war or public danger. Nor shall any person be subject for the same offense to be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb. Double jeopardy, straight out of the Fifth Amendment. Nor shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself.

[Jack Armstrong]

That's the. That's the wheel of fortune after the jeopardy portion. It's the wheel of fortune portion.

[Joe Getty]

Correct. Nor be deprived of life, liberty or property without due process of law. That's where that very famous phrase let. Comes from due process. Nor shall private property be taken for public use without just compensation.

[Jack Armstrong]

Which we like.

[Joe Getty]

To the Fifth Amendment.

[Jack Armstrong]

We aren't always good at. Where's the thing where you can't testify against your husband or wife or you don't have to. Was that in the Bill of Rights?

[Joe Getty]

No.

[Jack Armstrong]

Somewhere.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah. That's just in case law. I don't. I wish I knew.

[Jack Armstrong]

But why can't you testify against your husband or wife? No. There are no other relationships like that you can testify.

[Joe Getty]

Oh, you can.

[Jack Armstrong]

You can, but you can't.

[Joe Getty]

You can't be required. But how come you in some situations.

[Jack Armstrong]

But you can be required to testify against your kids or your kids against you, but not husband and wife.

[Joe Getty]

What is the. I was just talking to my law student daughter about this the other day and I don't remember exactly because of you.

[Jack Armstrong]

You and Judy's big Ponzi scheme and you're worried about.

[Joe Getty]

Oh yeah. I tell you what. The. The second the cops are here, I go states. She was running it. She made me do it right under the. Enjoy, honey. Hope you're comfortable under there. Oh, let's see. So I think the longest of the amendments I can find is. Is probably the 12th about choosing the president. Vice president. They had to clarify how that was going to work. But man, they get long. The 14th is long. Five paragraphs long. Liquor abolished. Bastards.

[Jack Armstrong]

What number is that?

[Joe Getty]

You suck. That's the 18th.

[Jack Armstrong]

And did you say it is long or is it short? No more booze.

[Joe Getty]

Party's over.

[Jack Armstrong]

Jackasses. That's what that one's called?

[Joe Getty]

Yeah, it's. It's long and boring. Just like a world without alcohol. There are three shortish paragraphs.

[Jack Armstrong]

And then how soon after that one is the one that says party's back on the 21st?

[Joe Getty]

God bless it. Actually the. The 18th was ratified in 1919 and it was repealed in 1933. Wow.

[Jack Armstrong]

I always forget how long that period was.

[Joe Getty]

Of no favorite. Some of my favorite writings by H.L. mencken were written during prohibition when he would describe how Congress people and senators. Washington, D.C. you could get a drink practically as easy as you can right now. It was everywhere. Because the senators were never going to hold themselves to the same standards. They were just doing it because it was politically popular. It was a popular movement among women when women first got the right to vote because so many of their husbands would come home hammered drunk and either be useless or violent or have spent all the money at the bar.

[Jack Armstrong]

Your people, Katie, took. Took away our party.

[Katie]

Yeah, because of what your people put us through every day by being drunk a holes.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah, well, if your people weren't all day long, maybe I wouldn't need a drink.

[Katie]

Well, if you would do some things around the house, maybe we wouldn't all the time.

[Joe Getty]

Oh my God. Give me a bottle. Where's the bottle? I think that was enlightening.

[Jack Armstrong]

Boardwalk Empire. If you never watched that series with Steve Buscemi, really great portrayal of the those years.

[Joe Getty]

19Th amendment, women's suffrage. That was ratified in 1920.

[Jack Armstrong]

Man. Need a do over on that one.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah. So again, women's voting and prohibition came up at the same time. Although admittedly, liquor was abolished just before the year before women got the right to vote.

[Katie]

One of my favorite places near the Radio Ranch in San Francisco was an old prohibition bar. And the owner took us down into their. Their storage room one day and all of the old tunnel doors were all welded shut because they used to move alcohol underneath San Francisco in this tunnel system. But it was really cool.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah. Yeah. One of my favorite liquor stores was named 22nd Amendment Liquors, which I always. I'm sorry, not 21st Amendment. Yeah, yeah. 22nd is presidential term limits. That'd just be a weird name.

[Jack Armstrong]

Went to a bar named after term limits.

[Joe Getty]

Oh, by the way, ladies, keep in mind 19th amendment. We gave you the right. We can take it away anyway.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yes, it's on a as needed basis.

[Joe Getty]

Let's see. Name the last amendment. I'll tell you that. It's the 27th. Does anybody remember what it is?

[Jack Armstrong]

Well, the last one is the 28th as declared by Joe Biden a week ago.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah, we could go today. That's right. On Twitter. I wish I'd more carefully read Article 2 about the presidency. Turns out it says, let me flip to. The president shall, at the time of his choosing, enact new amendments to the Constitution on Twitter.

[Jack Armstrong]

I don't know.

[Joe Getty]

What a senile nut job.

[Jack Armstrong]

What is number two? Seven.

[Joe Getty]

Limiting congressional pay increases. Ratified in 1992.

[Jack Armstrong]

Okay.

[Joe Getty]

Essentially you don't get a raise until another round of elections is held. You can vote one in, but you don't get it.

[Jack Armstrong]

You know, our friend Tim thinks there should be more amendments that. That we are. We have been. We've made it too difficult. It seemed like. Acted like. It's just too big a crazy a deal to ever talk about amendments.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah, I would agree. I mean, you spend 250 years doing something, you ought to get better at it. Figure out. Oh, we forgot this. I would like to see some stuff clarified, like the 14th Amendment, the birthright, citizenship. All I want is added on if the parents have legal status in the United States. You can't just sneak in.

[Jack Armstrong]

All I know. I'm glad you read that. When I get home, there are some soldiers sleeping soundly in my bed who are gonna not gonna be happy to hear what I now know.

[Joe Getty]

I will quarter you no longer, Jebediah.

[Jack Armstrong]

I declare on this 24th day, January 2025. That is it.