Did They Shellac The Banana?

Summary

Armstrong & Getty On Demand: "Did They Shellac The Banana?" – Detailed Summary

Release Date: November 21, 2024
Host: Jack Armstrong and Joe Getty
Podcast Series: The Armstrong & Getty Show on iHeartPodcasts

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1. Opening Remarks and Controversial Discussions

The episode kicks off with Jack Armstrong and Joe Getty diving straight into heated topics, bypassing traditional intros. They engage in a lively debate about recent allegations involving Matt Gaetz attending "drug-fueled sex orgies," a description they find both sensational and damaging.

• Joe Getty [01:00]: "Drug deal orgy. Well, when you put it that way, it doesn't sound very nice."

• Jack Armstrong [01:11]: "As opposed to like sober and morally upright orgies that seems. Hey, hey, hey. You put, put that joint out."

The hosts express skepticism about the accuracy and fairness of such portrayals, highlighting concerns about media bias and selective scrutiny of public figures.

2. Critique of Google’s Dominance and Privacy Issues

Armstrong and Getty transition into a critical discussion about Google’s pervasive influence in the digital landscape. They lament Google's monopoly over search engines and browsers, emphasizing the challenges it poses for both consumers and regulatory bodies.

• Joe Getty [02:26]: "I hate Google because of the way they steal information. And I managed to stay away from Google for most of my life."

The conversation underscores the frustration with mandatory adoption of Google services in educational institutions, raising questions about privacy and governmental overreach.

3. International Tensions: Russia’s ICBM Allegation

The hosts address escalating international tensions, particularly focusing on Russia's reported firing of an Intercontinental Ballistic Missile (ICBM) into Western Ukraine. Despite initial reports, there is ambiguity around whether the missile was indeed an ICBM, adding complexity to the geopolitical scenario.

• Jack Armstrong [13:56]: "I just ran across this. The problem being if an ICBM is flying through the air, you don't have much time to decide, is it headed to Paris or is it headed to western Ukraine."

They discuss the potential implications of such aggressive moves by Russia and the international community's response, highlighting concerns over nuclear threats and global security.

4. The Art World’s "Comedian": A Symbolic Critique

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to dissecting the infamous artwork titled "Comedian," which consists of a banana taped to a wall and sold for $6.2 million. Armstrong and Getty express bafflement and disdain towards the art world's valuation of such minimalist pieces.

• Joe Getty [24:11]: "They say congratulations and close the door and think, oh my God, is that person stupid?"

• Jack Armstrong [25:14]: "I'm going to look, I've laid this chair on its side. This chair laying on its side is the disruption of the global order."

The hosts critically analyze the symbolic intentions behind the artwork, questioning the intellectual depth and the financial motivations that drive such exorbitant pricing in the contemporary art scene.

5. The Aztec Death Whistle: Bridging Ancient Tools and Modern Myth

Introducing a shift in tone, the duo discusses the Aztec Death Whistle, an ancient artifact reputed to produce sounds so terrifying they could induce fear and insanity. They ponder the cultural significance and the psychological impact such tools might have both historically and in modern interpretations.

• Joe Getty [29:46]: "It is a band, a tool. It's my 90s esque Aztec camera sounding band, but updated for the 21st century."

• Jack Armstrong [29:50]: "It's my theory, and I don't know that it's right, but it just popped into my Head."

6. Media Saturation and Public Perception of Crises

Armstrong and Getty critique the media's tendency to label multiple issues as crises, leading to public desensitization. They argue that constant bombardment with urgent news dilutes the significance of truly critical events.

• Joe Getty [30:45]: "And it's the age of hyperbole and being constantly barraged with urgency. You know, everything, everything's a crisis."

• Jack Armstrong [31:20]: "Everything's a threat, everything's an outrage all the time."

They highlight how this saturation impacts public attention, making significant international events, such as missile launches, receive insufficient coverage.

7. Highlights from Katie Green’s Headlines

The segment featuring Katie Green presents a roundup of recent news headlines, which the hosts critically analyze:

• NPR's Kenosha Memorial: Armstrong mocks the selective narrative shaping in memorials, questioning the omission of the perpetrator's motives.

• International Criminal Court (ICC) Warrant for Netanyahu: The hosts dismiss the ICC's authority, labeling it ineffective and politically motivated.

• Ukraine’s Missile Launch and International Reactions: They discuss the strategic maneuvers leading up to Russia's missile launch, emphasizing the tangled web of international relations.

• Ellen DeGeneres' Alleged Relocation to England: The hosts express skepticism over Ellen's reported departure from the U.S., contemplating the reasons behind such a move amid political tensions.

8. Technology and Privacy Concerns

Back to the discussion on Google, the hosts lament the lack of viable alternatives for consumers and the invasive nature of data collection practices.

• Joe Getty [09:54]: "Your thing that you make me fill out to buy something at Macy's shouldn't mean that I get emails and phone calls and texts from, you know, completely unrelated organizations that you sold the information to for profit."

• Jack Armstrong [10:45]: "That's utterly untenable."

They advocate for stricter regulations and greater transparency in how personal data is handled and shared by large tech corporations.

9. Concluding Thoughts and Future Topics

As the episode wraps up, Armstrong and Getty tease upcoming discussions, including the psychological effects of ancient tools like the Aztec Death Whistle and further critique of contemporary art and media practices.

• Joe Getty [29:25]: "Matt Gaetz would have been much better off shellacking the banana than going to that party and maybe ruining his life and his chance to be attorney General."

• Jack Armstrong [38:26]: "It's a banana. Like every banana you've ever seen, only this one's got a few more bruises and there's duct tape holding it on the wall. The end."

The hosts maintain their signature blend of humor, sarcasm, and sharp criticism, encouraging listeners to stay tuned for more candid discussions on pressing societal issues.

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Notable Quotes:

• Joe Getty [02:26]: "I hate Google because of the way they steal information. And I managed to stay away from Google for most of my life."

• Jack Armstrong [25:14]: "I'm going to look, I've laid this chair on its side. This chair laying on its side is the disruption of the global order."

• Joe Getty [30:45]: "And it's the age of hyperbole and being constantly barraged with urgency. You know, everything, everything's a crisis."

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This episode of "Armstrong & Getty On Demand" offers a provocative exploration of current events, blending political commentary with cultural critiques. Listeners are treated to an unfiltered take on topics ranging from international tensions and privacy concerns to the perplexing valuations in the art world. Armstrong and Getty's candid dialogue and sharp wit provide insightful perspectives, making complex issues accessible and engaging for their audience.

Transcript

[Jack Armstrong]

After investing billions to light up our network, T Mobile is America's largest 5G network. Plus right now you can switch keep your phone and we'll pay it off up to $800. See how you can save on every plan versus Verizon and AT&T. @t mobile.com Keep and switch up to four lines via virtual prepaid card. Allow 15 days qualifying unlocked device credit service ported 90 plus days with device and eligible carrier and timely redemption required. Card has no cash access and expires in six months. Broadcasting live from the Abraham Lincoln radio studio at the George Washington Broadcast Center, Jack Armstrong and Joe Getty. Armstrong and Getty Enough. He Armstrong and Get it.

[Joe Getty]

Drug deal orgy. Well, when you put it that way, it doesn't sound very nice. I just heard that on the news as a description of what Matt Gates was attending. Drug fueled sex orgies.

[Jack Armstrong]

Oh, as opposed to like sober and morally upright orgies that seems. Hey, hey, hey. You put, put that joint out. What do you think this is, some sort of drug orgy? The regular kind.

[Joe Getty]

Doesn't sound good. When you describe my gatherings as drug fueled sex orgies, it paints an untoward picture. Live from stud.

[Jack Armstrong]

See senior, a dimly lit room deep.

[Joe Getty]

Within the bowels of the Armstrong and Getty communications compound. We are a week from Thanksgiving, people. And today we're under the tutelage of our general manager, Google. Google, the search engine.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yes indeed. Well, oh, if only it were just a search engine, that would be okay. But it's like the world's most popular browser and you automatically go to their search engine from that browser. Then they pay billions of dollars that you always go to Google from everybody's browsers. And that's too watch for the Justice Department. And they say you gotta break it up. Whether that'll happen or not, who knows.

[Joe Getty]

Interesting. Do you think I'm going to bing.

[Jack Armstrong]

It and learn more and bring it.

[Joe Getty]

To you doing that's correct or not?

[Jack Armstrong]

Is this the go it? Yeah, okay. Yeah, this is, this is one of those. I just, it's. It's somewhat interesting, but I don't find it that compelling.

[Joe Getty]

I'll tell you what though. I, I hate Google because of the way they steal information. And I managed to stay away from Google for most of my life. You know, Google came on whatever it was 30 years ago and 25 years ago and then I, I didn't. I never had a Gmail account. I never did a Google anything. Never had any of that stuff my kids got in school. You got no choice. Everybody uses Google Classroom, you're forced into your whole family having different Google accounts and passwords and all kinds and you got to click, I agree to all their stuff, which means they're stealing everything you got. So from that standpoint, the schools are run by the government. I'm forced to use Google by the government. That bothers me. I don't think you could not be. It'd be very, very difficult to have your kid in a public school and not be a Google person.

[Jack Armstrong]

Wow. Wow. You'd have to be some sort of conscientious objector.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah, it would be a, it would really be a.

[Jack Armstrong]

Cost yourself a great deal of time and effort.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's not cool, is it?

[Jack Armstrong]

The government just department needs to sue public schools. Government should sue itself and spend itself broke.

[Joe Getty]

Maybe Matt Gates, when he gets done with his drug fueled sex orgies, his attorney general can look at the whole Google thing and see if it's okay with all that. Does, does the, does the administration want. I just, and I don't want to talk about it anymore. But flipping on all the newscasts, leading with some new Matt Gaetz revelation today. Does, does Trump want that every day for the next three months, four months, however long it takes every day, some new Matt Gaetz story. Even the Wall Street Journal and the New York Post, two very different kinds of Republicans, both their editorial boards say drop the Matt Gates thing.

[Jack Armstrong]

Interesting. I'd miss that. Yeah, well, I'm not shocked by it. Trump's thinking and strategies and trolling are sometimes so different than certainly the conventional approach, but the way I would approach it, sometimes I have to think about it for a while. What the hell is he trying to pull off? And sometimes it makes sense eventually and sometimes it's just dumb, bad strategy. Why don't I say that?

[Joe Getty]

Well, the Senate's claiming they're going to do a full hearing and if they don't get the report from the House, they have the ability to call the same witnesses if they want to, to get the information that way. So that'll be a fun, that'll be a fun hearing, I'm sure that would be. Behind closed doors, I assume.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah, Yeah. I actually think Matt Gaetz is an amoral scumbag. But I'm also at least intrigued by thinking about all of the moral failings of so many high officials of the government and how they're selectively called out, you know, depending on the circumstance. On the other hand, that's just because the one thing is true doesn't mean the other isn't. True.

[Joe Getty]

I feel like if you're calling my soirees that I attend to drug fueled sex orgies, it's prejudicial.

[Jack Armstrong]

And drug fueled. Is that a prejudicial term? It's not fueled by drugs. It's fueled by lust. It's enhanced by drugs.

[Joe Getty]

Well, it's a party we're having. What is it? What do you do at a party?

[Jack Armstrong]

You.

[Joe Getty]

You all get together and have a good time. That's fueled by fun. That's what it is.

[Jack Armstrong]

Well, yeah, exactly. We're here for the fun. The drugs are there as well, but it's not drug fueled, per se. It's fun fueled, your honor.

[Joe Getty]

I prefer to call it fun fueled camaraderie with drugs. Drugs and fornication and prostitutes. And now we have a bunch of canceled checks for many thousands of dollars that appear to be to these girls. So anyway, that's part of the fun fuel. That's, that's what fuels the fun. Me paying these girls to, you know, do what I want.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah.

[Joe Getty]

The checks, the checks coming out yesterday didn't help?

[Jack Armstrong]

No, no, I suppose not. I think the, the response from a lot of big Trump fans would be, well, Merrick Garland is perverted to Justice Department beyond all recognition. So a guy who gets with prostitutes now and again is small potatoes. My counter counterargument would be, don't have either of them. Let's continue asking for better than both of them.

[Joe Getty]

Right. And then I realized because I'm on Twitter a lot, a lot of you don't believe any of that stuff anyway. It's just deep state trying to keep him from being attorney general. So checks are fake. The accusations. Accusations are fake. All the Republicans who are claiming these things are part of the deep state. And that's where that is.

[Jack Armstrong]

Have you known any scumbags? Have you lived a little? Have you bumped around in the, you know, the alleys of life? Walked on the wild side a little bit? It's. It's like a big gold colored cat with a huge mane is walking across Africa and somebody says, that's not a lion. The deep state says it's a lion. No, it's a lion. There are actual lions. Even if the deep state says it's.

[Joe Getty]

A lion, you've never known a smarmy, good looking kid whose dad was powerful. And so this kid lived a really uncool life. You've never known one of those? I've known a lot of those.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah. Yeah. And again, you can there. Look at this fur at the end of the Tail. Yep, that's a lion. Or if you prefer the well worn duck metaphor. Either way, and I know the Justice Department needs a shaken up, but again, both things can be true.

[Joe Getty]

One thing I was considering nominating for general manager was unsubscribing day. We're already there. Somebody told me a couple of years ago Black Friday for them is unsubscribe day. You go into all your emails, man, the number of emails I'm getting now. You wake up in the morning, it's just like, I didn't know you had my account. But I guess you do. Like some clothing store or whatever they hold back till now and now you just get a thousand of those. Then you got to unsubscribe on all of them. Of course there's always the danger of is this, do you actually have my account, man, or am I just clicking on a phishing thing? And now I've really made my life difficult. You don't know, but there's no other way to unsubscribe.

[Jack Armstrong]

I'm go. I'm big into block sender now. I haven't been doing it long enough to really get a feel for if it's working.

[Joe Getty]

On emails.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yes, on email.

[Joe Getty]

And so you don't unsubscribe, you block the sender.

[Jack Armstrong]

Those that I know to be legitimate. But I think, you know, I'm not gonna buy another one of your things. I will, I will unsubscribe. But like, you know, I've been getting all these stupid cooking made easy and fun recipes and stuff. I've never signed up for anything like that.

[Joe Getty]

Right.

[Jack Armstrong]

And so some bastard and I'd like to know what store it is because I'll put a brick through their window. It won't do me any good, but it'll fit. It'll feel good.

[Joe Getty]

It's a reasonable reaction.

[Jack Armstrong]

Any. Well, that's my only recourse. The old brick meets window treatment. Anyway, I'd like to figure out who's. Which one of you sons of guns are. Are selling my stuff all over the place like that. Yeah, it's just terrible.

[Joe Getty]

We gotta, we've got to figure out a way to get our arms around this without violating, you know, commerce or something. Something that I wouldn't like as a libertarian leaning guy. But, but just the ice I fill out. Your thing that you make me fill out to buy something at Macy's shouldn't mean that I get emails and phone calls and texts from, you know, completely unrelated organizations that you sold the information to for profit. That somehow that's got to come to an end.

[Jack Armstrong]

Well, yeah, except you click the Accept the terms, which included. We will sell your information to anybody who's got a nickel. Right.

[Joe Getty]

Well, that's what. That's what's got to be figured out is the whole terms thing. And I know people have taken various swipes at that. That if it's whatever we talked with. I think I did, when you weren't here, talked with Tim Sandifer about this, and his belief is, yeah, that's perfectly okay. And if you wanted to do your due diligence, you should get a lawyer and print it all out and read all those things. And they have every right to do that and there's no stopping it. But there's got to be some sort of. It's completely unrealistic that to do this. To have my kid in fifth grade clicking the I agree for Google classroom that to have my kid in fifth grade, I should sit down and read 75 pages of legal documents that I'm not qualified to read.

[Jack Armstrong]

That's utterly untenable.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah, but it's.

[Jack Armstrong]

Forget it. Stop it.

[Joe Getty]

Sure existed for a long time.

[Jack Armstrong]

On the other hand, because you know me, I'm about solutions. You can buy a pallet of bricks for as little as $140.

[Joe Getty]

You could throw that through a lot of windows.

[Jack Armstrong]

Pallet of bricks.

[Joe Getty]

I don't know how many that is, but a lot of windows.

[Jack Armstrong]

That's a lot of evil doers who are going to taste your disdain.

[Joe Getty]

Friends. Let's start the show officially real quick. I'm Jack Armstrong. He's Jogetti on this. It is. How did it already get to be, by God, one week before Thanksgiving on Thursday, November 21, the year 2024, where Armstrong and Getty and we approve of this program.

[Jack Armstrong]

All right, here we go. Let's begin the show officially according to FCC rules and regulations. At Mark went to the store where.

[Katie Green]

People can donate their garbage and then the store organizes the garbage and then resells it to people who do crafts.

[Joe Getty]

Right.

[Katie Green]

When I walked in, I saw this bucket full of bread tabs for 25 cents per handful. You can also buy handfuls of bottle caps. You can buy people's old used paint. You can buy bits of broken trophies. You also buy people's award ribbons that they don't want anymore. They also have a bucket full of erasers that gave me fourth grade desk drawer flashbacks.

[Jack Armstrong]

And it's a guy reporting from a store in Portland, Oregon that sells garbage. It's called scrap.

[Joe Getty]

Scrap.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah.

[Joe Getty]

I saw this on the news the other day and I was trying to. I thought that sounds kind of cool. My son would love that thing. As a guy who's really into various art stuff, but I don't know how they turn a profit. I was trying to figure out how the what the what the mechanics of it staying afloat would be at a.

[Jack Armstrong]

Quarter for a handful of those bread tab things.

[Joe Getty]

And you had somebody go through like a bag of junk and pick out all the bread ties and put them together and then.

[Jack Armstrong]

And she's.

[Joe Getty]

I don't see how you turn profit on that and then sell them for.

[Jack Armstrong]

It's a very Portland it is phenomenon. It is that. It reminds me back when Portland was funky and not horrible. How does fun. Funky not. Good God, get me out of here. Funky not.

[Joe Getty]

I saw someone urinating in the street with my son last time I was there. Funky.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yes.

[Joe Getty]

How does mailbag look?

[Jack Armstrong]

Very good. Full of insight and wit.

[Joe Getty]

Cool. That is on the way. Here's our text line. 415295 KFTC.

[Jack Armstrong]

Armstrong and Getty.

[Maria Konnikova]

I'm Maria Konnikova.

[Nate Silver]

And I'm Nate Silver.

[Maria Konnikova]

And our podcast Risky Business is a show about making better decisions. Both Nate and I are journalists who moonlight as poker players. We've both won and, I have to say, lost hundreds of thousands of dollars playing poker. And poker is a lens that we're going to use to approach this entire show. Because poker isn't just about playing cards. It's actually about how to make good decisions. It's an entire framework for thinking about the world.

[Nate Silver]

In addition to poker, we'll be talking about the wide world of gambling. So sports betting, for example, plus the news, politics. It is an election year and personal.

[Maria Konnikova]

Decisions, too, like whether I should call a plumber or fix my shower myself.

[Nate Silver]

Tune into Risky Business every Thursday.

[Maria Konnikova]

Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts now.

[Joe Getty]

I woke up to the news that Russia had fired an ICBM into Western Ukraine, which was be incredibly provocative and a new thing and a flexing of hey, we can send ICBMs around with nuclear weapons. They're reporting now is that it was not an icbm. But that's not still nailed down. But that'd be. That'd be a pretty bold move from Putin.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah. As a signal, I guess. But don't we know they have missiles that can.

[Joe Getty]

Right. But he's just continuing to, like, be more belligerent than he needs to be for some reason.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah. Okay, here's your Freedom loving quote of the day sent along by alert frequent guest Tim Sandifer. The Goldwater foundation says, I just ran across this.

[Joe Getty]

The problem being if an ICBM is flying through the air, you don't have much time to decide, is it headed to Paris or is it headed to western Ukraine?

[Jack Armstrong]

Right. Well, it's an intercontinental ballistic missile. Seems odd to lob it from right over here to right over there. Right.

[Joe Getty]

That's why you don't want to just be throwing those things around.

[Jack Armstrong]

Provocative. This is from Samuel Adams, 1772. If I am to have a master, let me have a severe one, that I may always have the mortifying sense of it. I shall then always be disposed to take the first fair opportunity of ridding myself of slavery.

[Joe Getty]

Oh, that's a good one. That's a good one. As opposed to the just slow seeps into your life, controls everything. You don't even know who to be mad at thing that we frog boiling.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah, yeah, exactly. You just slowly get swallowed up by the suffocating bureaucracy.

[Joe Getty]

Yep.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah. Wow. Oh. Both inspiring and discouraging. Thank you, Samuel Adams. Maybe I'll have a couple of Sam Adams and be inspired anew this evening. Mailbag. Drop us a note mailbag@armstrong yeti.com if you like. Julie has been listening since like day one. Thank you. Thanks, Julie. With a great article on the jazzy moon names everybody's supposed to be talking about these days, explaining it all. And the long and short of it is it's virtue signaling. As she explains, it's to honor the native tribes who use the names for crop planting and harvesting cycles. Now that I know it's a virtue signal, I'll continue to not use the descriptors.

[Joe Getty]

Okay, see, I didn't know that. All right.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah. And actually the article is somewhat interesting, but it's the native people that didn't have charts and whatever.

[Joe Getty]

Get a calendar. Native people.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah, but it's January. You got the big old full moon. Unless they instead of saying, hey, there's that big full moon, kind of like the one with had last year when it was super cold out, they'll call it a wolf moon because that's when the wolves come out and they howl and stuff like that. It's just a jazzy nickname so they know what to call it instead of, yeah, look, you remember last summer, there's a big moon. Look, here's another big moon this summer. That's not a good name for it. So they call it the beaver moon or the jackal moon or the. The one Eyed man is king in the land of the blind moon or whatever.

[Joe Getty]

The super blue harvest moon. My favorite.

[Jack Armstrong]

Exactly. Oh, fantastic. Al Sharpton is misinformed. Rights rich in beautiful green Oregon.

[Joe Getty]

No way.

[Jack Armstrong]

Criticizing Trump's nominees for cabinet positions and not being diverse enough, really. Al Trump nominating one of America's favorite African Americans to the government efficiency drive, Elon Musk. Come on, man. Come on, man. Yeah, man. It's a bit of an old joke, but I kind of like it. Just because the whole. The various names for people of dark skin in America has evolved like three or four times in my lifetime. And the one that you absolutely must say or we will ruin you becomes the one you absolutely must not say or we will ruin you. And the new one that you must say or we will ruin you quickly becomes the one you cannot say or we will ruin you. And there's a brand new one. An African American will soon be on the way out. I have a feeling. Uh, let's see. Mike says. Gentlemen, I hope that you two, along with Alex, Alex Soros and Nancy Pelosi, are still correct about Putin. Bluffing is based on the ICBM story. That's not an argument. Alex Soros and Nancy Pelosi believe the sun rises in the east, and I agree with him on that as well. Hillary Clinton is laughing because the last minute chaos is delicious for her. I don't care what Hillary thinks. She's a bitter old hag who should have hurled herself off the top of the Washington Monument when she lost Trump. Apparently, we are going to defeat the Russian Federation at last. This will be even more brilliant than Biden's Afghanistan. No, that's not the goal at all. It's to prevent the continued aggressive conquests in Europe. Can't have that, but thanks for the note anyway.

[Joe Getty]

We're gonna catch up on the news.

[Jack Armstrong]

Stay Armstrong and Getty.

[Maria Konnikova]

I'm Maria Konnikova.

[Nate Silver]

And I'm Nate Silver.

[Maria Konnikova]

And our podcast, Risky Business is a show about making better decisions. Both Nate and I are journalists who moonlight as poker players. We've both won, and, I have to say, lost hundreds of thousands of dollars playing poker. And poker is a lens that we're going to use to approach this entire show. Because poker isn't just about playing cards. It's actually about how to make good decisions. It's an entire framework for thinking about the world.

[Nate Silver]

In addition to poker, we'll be talking about the wide world of gambling. So sports betting, for example, plus the news, politics. It is an election year. And personal decisions, too, like Whether I.

[Maria Konnikova]

Should call a plumber or fix my shower myself.

[Nate Silver]

Tune into Risky Business every Thursday.

[Maria Konnikova]

Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

[Joe Getty]

It's the end of an era for the Simpsons. Pamela Hayden, who voices the character in Milhouse, among many others, is retiring from the show after 35 years. This Sunday's episode will mark her final performance. The lady who does a voice for.

[Jack Armstrong]

Milhouse is quitting Gender bending madness.

[Joe Getty]

She started when she was 35 years old and probably thought, oh my God, I got a job as a voice actor. And he's been doing it ever since. She's now 70. Wow, that's amazing. I wonder if she ended up rich out of that.

[Jack Armstrong]

Is it bard?

[Joe Getty]

Is it the great Milhouse will be voice no more or they'll find somebody who sounds like Milhouse. Which reminds me, my son is the number one Simpsons expert on planet Earth, I'm guessing. So we were watching an episode last night. It was one of those where they have a quick shot of the crowd and the crowd is always everybody who lives in Springfield. It's every character that's ever been on the show. And he paused it and he went through one by one and he knows their actual names of every single character, which is really hilarious because they all have real names. There's Jeff Albertson, Comic book guy. There's. And like Cletus. Cletus in his last name and his wife and his last name and everything. For some reason he just has them all memorized.

[Jack Armstrong]

Very entertaining. Cletus has a last name other than the slack jawed yokel.

[Joe Getty]

Right. And there's a real name for disco stew and everybody. Oh my God, no more Milhouse. What a gig. You good on a show like that. And. And it hits. And then how much does she suppose she works a week or a month going in and doing however many lines she's got.

[Jack Armstrong]

Or maybe the only character she voiced.

[Joe Getty]

Some others, but that's the big one. But probably does it from home now. Anyway. So you do it in your home studio, zap them off and go back to doing whatever is you do. Play pickleball or I don't know, drug fueled sex orgies or whatever it is.

[Jack Armstrong]

Wow. Wow. Good lifestyle.

[Joe Getty]

So mentioned the whole woke up to the news that Russia had fired an ICBM into Ukraine, which is a very provocative thing, obviously on the world stage. Having the fact. The fact that they announced the other day that they lowered their threshold for using nuclear weapons. Then two days later you fire an icbm, which for at least a couple of seconds, we, and I'm assuming Great Britain and France and Germany and probably China and everybody else picked up on the radars and thought, holy crap, Russia's fired nicbm. Where's it headed? I mean, that's, that's, that's scary crap right there where you could end up with a mistake. But anyway, the latest reporting is maybe it wasn't icbm. Ukraine claims Russia fired icbm. ICBM in recent attack. Fox is saying, CNN is saying Western leaders say it wasn't an icbm. But that would be a very provocative move if it was. Different story.

[Jack Armstrong]

Funny, I'm looking at the big news sites and they've got it buried, if they're reporting it at all. Everybody thinks it's a big ideal that the International Criminal Court has issued war crimes arrest warrants for Netanyahu and Gallant. But it's a phony court. It's got no authority.

[Joe Getty]

Yes, but better for your politics if you're a mainstream media outlet.

[Jack Armstrong]

Fine.

[Joe Getty]

The other story is this has been going on for a couple of days. Two big Internet cables in the Baltic Sea were cut, causing huge disruptions. And a Chinese ship was seen nearby. So what's going on there?

[Jack Armstrong]

Oh, more than nearby. They've got it. Radar tracked directly over the one cable two minutes before the cable stopped working. And then that second cable, same ship was right above it two minutes before it stopped working. Well, gee whiz.

[Joe Getty]

All right, well, that takes care of that then.

[Unnamed News Anchor]

Now, come on.

[Joe Getty]

China, Ukraine. And this might be what caused Russia to fire this big rocket missile. Whatever it was. Ukraine fired British long range missiles into Russia yesterday. So after the attack comes, we gave them Britain said, yeah, you can use ours also, and fired some of those into Russia. So that might be why Russia reacted the way they did.

[Jack Armstrong]

I get it. It's kind of an everybody's in. You can't single out anybody is because we all agree. Of course. I don't know if France even has missiles. Maybe they can heave a cheese at the Russians.

[Joe Getty]

It feels like I was an ad hominem attack against France for some reason. Out of nowhere, Joe brought us the story of the banana taped to the wall. The price came in yesterday. It sold for $6.2 million. Good Lord, $6.2 million. The artwork called Comedian. It's a banana taped to a wall. Don't you feel like you're being jerked around if somebody puts a banana, tapes a banana to the wall and sells it to you for $6.2 million and calls it Comedian. Don't you think you're the joke?

[Jack Armstrong]

Apparently not.

[Joe Getty]

And then they say congratulations and close the door and think, oh my God, is that person stupid?

[Jack Armstrong]

Well, I read you the description by the art expert that it symbolizes colonialism and the effects of hyper capitalization on something.

[Joe Getty]

It's a banana taped to a wall.

[Jack Armstrong]

It's a statement.

[Joe Getty]

The New York Times said it's arguably the most expensive fruit in the world. I would say arguably it is.

[Jack Armstrong]

I have no counter argument. Right.

[Joe Getty]

I don't know what the counter argument would be.

[Jack Armstrong]

Wow.

[Joe Getty]

I think all of us wish we could come up with something like that. So do you have to be a famous. Do you have to become a famous artist first and then do something like that? Because you can't start with that because anybody could do it, right?

[Jack Armstrong]

I don't know.

[Joe Getty]

I'm going to look, I've laid this chair on its side. This chair laying on its side is the disruption of the global order. Wow. I would like a million dollars for this.

[Jack Armstrong]

That's powerful. Powerful. You know, I don't. I can't get in the side. I can't get inside the heads of somebody who takes this stuff seriously and can tell you with a straight face that a freaking banana taped to a wall symbolizes the effect of colonialism on native cultures and how it is at once making a joke of art while making a very serious statement about art. What now? I gotta get back to work.

[Joe Getty]

So if you buy.

[Jack Armstrong]

So I can't relate to those people. So maybe, yes, some young firebrand could do that. And the phony baloney, pretentious rich jackasses of the art world would say, yes, this is a genius. A budding genius. Who knows?

[Joe Getty]

Well, I've got a tangerine nailed to the floor and it's got similar, similar, similar cachet. So the person who buys that for $6.2 million is that too, because they think it's worth that much and they'll be able to sell it someday. Or is it they want to display it in their home and people will think, oh my God, you own. I didn't realize you owned the original comedian.

[Jack Armstrong]

You know what? And this thought just occurred to me, first of all, tangerine nailed to the floor is a statement on permanence and impermanence.

[Joe Getty]

Wow, that's pretty good.

[Jack Armstrong]

Thank you. What was the other thing we were talking about? Oh, why do you buy what they want to do with it? Yeah, I have a theory, and I don't know that it's right, but it just popped into my Head. If you fly a lot, the airline is really good to you and you get to go in the nice lounges and stuff like that. You're a frequent flyer. If you get. If you're known as a guy who goes on like, expensive golf vacations, you have all the really nice places reaching out to you.

[Joe Getty]

Or if you gamble a lot, they treat you really well.

[Jack Armstrong]

Oh, yeah. Perfect example. Your high roller. I have a feeling if you drop that sort of coin in the art world, you are an instant celebrity yourself and you are sought after. You are wined and dined and flattered.

[Joe Getty]

If you're super rich and you don't care about the money, that it might be worth the $6.2 million right now.

[Jack Armstrong]

If I have $800 million in the bank, I can spend $6 million, never think of it again, right?

[Joe Getty]

I'll bet that is quite the lifestyle. They probably fly it to all the big art shows and put you up in a fancy place and the limo comes, picks you up, and they sit you in the front row to see if you'll be stupid enough to buy, you know, the tangerine nailed to the floor, signaling permanence and impermanence. I mean, I get to it without laughing.

[Jack Armstrong]

Well, yeah. I mean, because the tangerine, it will wither away and be gone and yet is nailed to the floor. It cannot be moved. It is permanently on the floor, and yet it is impermanent. Just like mankind, just like life. It's a statement about life.

[Joe Getty]

If you haven't seen this picture, it is exactly as described. There's nothing else to it. It is a banana. Like every banana you've ever seen, only this one's got a few more bruises and there's duct tape holding it on the wall. The end.

[Jack Armstrong]

Gray duct tape. They didn't even, like, spring for the fancy red kind or something. The colored guy, right? Which would be a nice contrast with the yellow of the banana and soon to be the brown and the black of the ban.

[Joe Getty]

But anyway, is there, is there anything.

[Jack Armstrong]

Do they like shellac the banana? Or does it just like turn into that gross withered thing that attracts little flies?

[Joe Getty]

The phrase shellac in the banana is not something we need at all. Not during the holiday season.

[Jack Armstrong]

Wow. Drug fueled orgies with Matt Case.

[Joe Getty]

Oh, my God, Jack.

[Jack Armstrong]

It all pales in comparison to the Aztec death whistle. More on that to come.

[Joe Getty]

Matt Gaetz would have been much better off shellacking the banana than going to that party and maybe ruining his life and his chance to be attorney General.

[Jack Armstrong]

Wow. Wow.

[Joe Getty]

And finally I want to get to this a little bit later.

[Jack Armstrong]

This is actually you glossed over the Aztec Death Whistle. I've got to jump in here. Imagine an object so terrifying that its mere sound could, could make you insane. The Aztec Death Whistle next hour.

[Joe Getty]

I thought it was going to be a drink or something. Okay, so it's an actual sound.

[Jack Armstrong]

Oh, oh, yeah, it is.

[Joe Getty]

It is a band, a tool.

[Jack Armstrong]

It's my 90s esque Aztec camera sounding band, but updated for the 21st century. Aztec death Whistle. A sound, a tool that could actually make people insane.

[Joe Getty]

Wow, cool. I thought.

[Jack Armstrong]

And we will play you the terrifying audio of it if you dare. Stay tuned.

[Joe Getty]

I thought Aztec Whistle Death Whistle was playing behind Jelly Roll last night at the Country Music Awards, but that was not them. And one more thing for the New York Times, an opinion piece that I want to read later that I thought was really, really interesting and good for the NYT to bring it to us because they're purveyors of this sort of thing with the headline being if everything is a crisis, Nothing is a crisis and how the world of public health deems so many things a crisis or has gotten locked into this. If we don't say this is a crisis, it'll get no attention, Fang.

[Jack Armstrong]

Right.

[Joe Getty]

And they go through all the, you know, obviously infectious diseases where they want to get your attention about monkeypox, bird flu, all these different sorts of things. Loneliness, social media, all these things are problems. But they, but briefly, like for a week, you have to elevate it to the biggest crisis in America, loneliness or whatever, to try to get any attention or funding or on TV or something. And they're concerned that, and they valid concern that they've called so many things the biggest crisis that everybody's tuning out. Yeah, you're getting nobody's attention.

[Jack Armstrong]

Speaking of things making people insane, never mind the Aztec Death Whistle. It's the age of hyperbole and being constantly barraged with urgency. You know, everything, everything's a crisis, everything's a threat, everything's an outrage all the time.

[Joe Getty]

Which is interesting because I feel like, you know, I was surprised that it wasn't the lead story in the evening news the other night that Ukraine fired those long range missiles into Russia and Russia's nuclear whatever. That's a real story. That's a pretty damned big story. But we don't have time for those, I guess because we're into the whole loneliness is an epidemic that is killing people all across America sort of crisis.

[Jack Armstrong]

I don't know. You got a thousand things competing for your attention. A thousand stories.

[Joe Getty]

Right. We tend to be more inward looking, though, definitely. For whatever crisis is our attention at the time. Definitely. We've got Katie's headlines on the way and those will be good. Stay here.

[Jack Armstrong]

Armstrong and Getty.

[Maria Konnikova]

I'm Maria Konnikova.

[Nate Silver]

And I'm Nate Silver.

[Maria Konnikova]

And our podcast Risky Business is a show about making better decisions. Both Nate and I are journalists who moonlight as poker players. We've both won and I have to say, lost hundreds of thousands of dollars playing poker. And poker is a lens that we're going to use to approach this entire show because poker isn't just about playing cards. It's actually about how to make good decisions. It's an entire framework for thinking about the world.

[Nate Silver]

In addition to poker, we'll be talking about the wide world of gambling. So sports betting, for example, plus the news, politics. It is an election year and personal.

[Maria Konnikova]

Decisions, too, like whether I should call a plumber or fix my shower myself.

[Nate Silver]

Tune into Risky Business every Thursday.

[Maria Konnikova]

Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

[Joe Getty]

Before we get to Katie's headlines, here's a headline from Mark Halperin's newsletter today, or just a sentence anyway, about how amazing it is that Joe Biden is not taking reporters questions during a time of high international tensions and also confusion for his party. His party's in maybe the biggest turmoil I've seen in my lifetime and also the world. What? You got nothing to say to all these reporters with all these international leaders around? You got nothing to say about why you allowed Ukraine to fire these missiles or, or Russia's response or Israel or Netanyahu being arrested or anything. He hasn't been arrested, blah, blah. But any of that, really.

[Jack Armstrong]

And as your various spokes twits are loudly proclaiming that there's only one president at a time and President Biden is still the president, right? Yeah. Prove it.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah. No K, you better say something. Doing a little president.

[Jack Armstrong]

All right, let's figure out who's reporting what. It's lead story. Katie Green. Katie, thank you, guys.

[Unnamed News Anchor]

Starting with cnn. Judge Sentences Lake and Riley's Murderer to Life in Prison.

[Joe Getty]

Good man. That trial got a lot of attention. All your evening newscasts led with it last night.

[Jack Armstrong]

NPR with a nice story today about a memorial being built in Kenosha, Wisconsin, is a memorial to the people mowed down two years ago at Christmas time by a lunatic who was a black guy who hated white people and killed them for racial animus. They didn't mention that in npr. It was just a guy who. That's funny how that cuts only one way. In a desperate effort to build a certain narrative. You people are so dishonest.

[Unnamed News Anchor]

NBC ICC issues arrest warrant for Israeli Prime Minister Net Netanyahu for war crimes.

[Joe Getty]

In Gaza does this mean anything at all?

[Jack Armstrong]

No, not functionally, no. No. I am going to found the International Court of Justice. My Canadian friend Gordy and I will be in charge. We will start sending out memos. We will design a letterhead or have AI do it. And I'm going to start sending out subpoenas which will have virtually roughly the same weight as this lead story. And also of news outlets from Axios.

[Unnamed News Anchor]

Ukraine's lame duck danger Biden and Putin escalate before Trump arrives.

[Jack Armstrong]

That's a good way to describe it.

[Joe Getty]

Well, he might actually have the be the force of nature because he's continually talking about we're going to wrap this thing up. We're going to end it. And both sides realize, okay, this thing is probably going to wrap up soon. And so they're trying to get, you know, the best hand they can before it wraps up. It's interesting.

[Unnamed News Anchor]

From the Wall Street Journal, Musk and Ramaswamy want federal workers in the office full time.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah, I want to get into that article a little bit because they point out. But there's a catch. Well, there's more to be discussed and.

[Unnamed News Anchor]

We will ABC News U.S. regulators seek to break up Google forcing Chrome sale as part of monopoly punishment.

[Joe Getty]

And we talked about this a little bit earlier. I'm not smart enough to know whether I'm, I think this is a good idea or not. But man, it, Google is, it's impossible to not. You can't live your life without Google, really.

[Jack Armstrong]

And we use it as a platform at work, to my horror, although it works really well.

[Unnamed News Anchor]

From Forbes Update now, warning issued to all iPhone users. There's an emergency update that was released this morning because apparently there's some security vulnerabilities. So if you have an iPhone, make sure you update it ASAP.

[Joe Getty]

Maybe I'll do that right now.

[Unnamed News Anchor]

Yes. From Breitbart.com Ellen DeGeneres leaves United States, flees to England after Trump election.

[Joe Getty]

I saw that. She's one of the few celebrities putting her money where her mouth is and actually leaving the country. Country. That is so crazy, though. It's so crazy as a gesture. What are you afraid of?

[Jack Armstrong]

Oh, it's entirely a gesture. It's only a gesture.

[Joe Getty]

You think?

[Jack Armstrong]

I don't know.

[Joe Getty]

I was listening to NPR this morning, and they had a couple on where she thinks that we'll be okay and can soldier through the Trump years. He said, he said, this is where we disagree. I think this is going to be a very, very different difficult time. Our lives are going to be s for the next four years. I'm like, what are you talking about? What are you talking about, crazy person? So Ellen DeGeneres might actually believe that it's just too frightening and oppressive to be here.

[Jack Armstrong]

Bye.

[Maria Konnikova]

Bye.

[Jack Armstrong]

Nut. That guy's got to be strapped to a chair and forced to view 72 straight hours of John Wayne movies until he finds his cojones.

[Unnamed News Anchor]

All right, your meme of the day. Trump still needs to appoint a new leader for the Bureau of Indian Affairs. This would be his opportunity to do the funniest thing ever. And then there's a picture of Elizabeth Warren.

[Joe Getty]

There you go.

[Jack Armstrong]

That would be funny.

[Unnamed News Anchor]

And finally, the Babylon Bee before Doge starts cuts funding. NIH working feverishly to complete the study on the effects of giving meth to jet pack wearing hamsters.

[Joe Getty]

We do four hours every day. If you miss an hour, get the podcast Armstrong and Getty on demand.

[Jack Armstrong]

Armstrong and Getty.