Everyone Knows Satan Has A Mustache

Summary

Armstrong & Getty On Demand

Episode: "Everyone Knows Satan Has A Mustache"

Date: December 12, 2025
Hosts: Jack Armstrong, Joe Getty, Mark, Katie Green

Episode Overview

This lively Friday episode explores the chaos and contradictions of American society, weaving together reflections on family, holiday stress, private versus public speech, massive government fraud, and cultural trends. The hosts riff on news stories with humor, skepticism, and their signature blend of irreverence and insight. The episode’s title alludes to a segment on a multi-layered welfare scandal in Minnesota and segues into a satirical “Satan’s recipe” for a perfect debacle in America.

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Main Themes & Discussion Points

1. Navigating the Joy and Stress of the Holidays

Time: 03:06 – 09:14

• Holiday Reflections: Jack and Joe discuss the different experiences of the holiday season, acknowledging that while some find joy, others find it stressful, particularly those from divorced or complicated families.
  • Quote (Joe, 04:05):
    “It was easier to enjoy the Christmas season when I wasn’t trying to manage this whole deal [with multiple families].”
• Family Blessings and Complications: Both hosts acknowledge the fortune of having intact or generally harmonious families, but also greater empathy for those whose holidays bring tension.
  • Quote (Mark, 05:06):
    “You know how fortunate it is to be in a family where everybody gets along… It’s a blessing. An incredible blessing.”

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2. The Meaning and Impact of Private Speech

Time: 11:01 – 14:37

• Leaked Pilot Rant: The team reacts to a pilot’s off-color comments over an open mic, spurring a broader discussion on whether private conversations among friends should be judged by public standards.
  • Quote (Mark, 11:41):
    “One of the great, awful stupid trends…people acting as if private conversations…were exactly the same as a speech you would give to the nation in prime time.”
• Future with Thought-to-Speech Tech: Jack describes neural tech enabling people to “type with their mind” and worries:
  • Quote (Joe, 12:53):
    “If all of our thoughts…are hearable or come out, then we’re gonna have to wrestle with, as humankind, [how] we all obviously say and think horrific things.”
  • Quote (Mark, 13:27):
    “Sometimes I think it’s healthy. It’s like the rain running off the roof into the gutter. You think it, you express it to yourself, you let it go.”

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3. Media, Transparency, and Courtroom Ethics

Time: 09:14 – 10:07

• Cameras in the Courtroom: The possibility of a judge (Katie’s dad) coming on to discuss the debate over cameras in court, prompted by the trial of Charlie Kirk’s murderer.
  • Both hosts express skepticism toward cameras, referencing the O.J. Simpson trial as a cautionary tale.

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4. News Roundup with Katie Green

Time: 17:41 – 21:50

• Global & National Stories:
  • U.S. seizing oil tankers near Venezuela
  • Senate blocks extension of Obamacare subsidies
  • Minnesota COVID fraud: misappropriated millions
  • U.S.-China relations: China getting more of what it wants
  • Tech: Wearable AI “gadgets” not ready for primetime
  • Dynamic pricing trends
  • American pop music becoming more “dark and stressed”
• Discussion:
  • Hosts riff on the topics, often with biting humor and calls for deeper attention on issues like welfare fraud and societal angst.
  • Quote on Pop Music (Joe, 21:08):
    “There’s so much…‘my life sucks, the world sucks, it’s so hard to be a human’…”

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5. Deep Dive: Minnesota’s COVID Welfare Fraud

Time: 28:56 – 38:23

• Context: Over $1B stolen from federal funds intended to feed hungry children in Minnesota during the pandemic, with luxuries (cars, villas, international travel) purchased instead.
• Media Reluctance: The story receives insufficient coverage, possibly due to sensitivities about race and immigration.
  • Quote (Joe, 29:11):
    “This is not near as big a story as it probably should be. Why? Because Donald Trump blamed Somalis, so the mainstream media...got to stay away from the story, I guess.”
• Cultural & Political Commentary:
  • Discussion about the role that cultural attitudes towards government and corruption (specifically linking Somali immigrants’ approach, informed by experience in their home country) played in the fraud.
  • Mark compares the situation to a scenario “designed by Satan,” satirically enumerating all the poor decisions and social trends enabling such fraud.
    • Quote (Mark, 34:02):
      “So I picture Satan rubbing his goatee… ‘We need to design the perfect debacle. Combine rampant, unchecked immigration… from a place hostile to the U.S., a bloated welfare state, political correctness…’”
• Personal Ethics Reflection:
  • Jack contemplates if he’d be tempted to steal from a government he disliked, using a hypothetical in China.
    • Quote (Joe, 37:32):
      “If I ended up in China…and could steal a million dollars of CCP money, I don’t care. That’s their problem. If I thought I could get away with it…my morals wouldn’t come into play there.”
• Systemic Failure:
  • Hosts emphasize the failure lies both with the fraudsters and the incompetent government institutions that enabled the theft.
    • Quote (Mark, 37:51):
      “The bank that every night forgets to lock the vault...can blame the dishonest townspeople...but at some point, you’ve got a responsibility here too.”

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6. Mailbag & Audience Responses

Time: 42:12 – 45:48

• Listener Feedback:
  • Discussion on natural versus social constructs, dislike for Joe’s hot dog euphemisms ("tube steak"), and America’s trial-and-error approach to regulating unsafe things (seatbelts, lawn darts, etc.).
    • Quote (Mark, 44:07):
      “If you don’t know enough to stay out of the way of the lawn dart hurtling through the air, you deserve a puncture wound.”
• Obamacare & Minnesota Fraud:
  • A listener highlights the hypocrisy of outrage over lost Obamacare subsidies while barely a fuss is made about the massive COVID fraud in Minnesota.

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7. Candid Takes on Political Theater & American Apathy

Time: 17:02 – 17:46, scattered

• Disinterest in Political Drama:
  • Joe confesses to “quiet quitting” some political news, feeling it serves little purpose and preferring to focus on substantive or enjoyable stories.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Family Joy and Empathy:
  “I have grown and I have more sympathy for people who find this time of year stressful as opposed to…joyous.”
  — Joe Getty (08:02)
• On Private Speech Becoming Public:
  “We all obviously say and think horrific things… It's just the way we are built.”
  — Joe Getty (12:53)
• On Cultural Frauds:
  “It’s not racism to point out that fraud and theft in that part of the world is absolutely rampant, because legitimate interaction with the government and its programs…practically don’t exist.”
  — Mark (36:22)
• On Systemic Responsibility:
  “The bank that every night forgets to lock the vault…[can] blame the dishonest townspeople…but at some point, you’ve got a responsibility here too.”
  — Mark (37:51)
• On Societal Trends:
  “Pop music has grown darker and more stressed…Reflects what kids are thinking and feeling.”
  — Mark (21:43)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Time | Segment | |-------------|-------------------------------------| | 03:06–09:14 | Holiday reflections & family stress | | 11:01–14:37 | Private speech vs public judgment | | 09:14–10:07 | Cameras in the courtroom debate | | 17:41–21:50 | News headlines with Katie Green | | 28:56–38:23 | In-depth: Minnesota COVID fraud | | 42:12–45:48 | Listener mailbag & America’s habits |

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Tone and Style

The episode features the Armstrong & Getty signature tone:

• Wry, irreverent, and conversational
• Deep skepticism toward government and media narratives
• Empathy and personal anecdotes mixed with social critique
• Willingness to turn a personal lens on ethical debates
• Absurdist humor and occasional satire (e.g., "Satan's recipe" monologue)

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For Listeners Who Missed the Show

This episode is a classic blend of Armstrong & Getty’s social-humor commentary and sharp analysis, tackling the chaos of the holidays, the blurring lines between private thought and public speech, the roots and repercussions of massive government fraud, and the country’s love-hate relationship with its own foibles. The team’s self-deprecating humor, willingness to question sacred cows, and ability to move swiftly between national headlines and philosophical musings make for a thought-provoking listen.

Transcript

[Jack Armstrong]

This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human. Then the space hamster flew his hot air balloon all the way to the bottom of the ocean. Where did that story come from? Book Dream? Nope. It came from a conversation. Meet Meco Mini plus the AI companion that co creates personalized story adventures with your child in real time. What color was the hamster's cape and what did he pack for lunch? Unlock your child's imagination. Discover Mikomini PL and the magic of AI exclusively at Costco 10 athletes will face the toughest job interview in fitness.

[Joe Getty]

That will push past physical and mental breaking points. You are the fittest of the fit. Only one of you will leave here.

[Jack Armstrong]

With an IFIT contract worth $250,000.

[Mark]

This is where mindset comes in.

[Jack Armstrong]

Someone will be eliminated. Pressure is coming down.

[Mark]

This is Trainer prime video starting January 8th.

[Joe Getty]

Ever wish you could try the Washington Post and see what all the talk is about? Right now you can with a one week pass for just $7. No commitment, no strings attached. Just $7 for one week of unlimited access to the Post. It's the perfect way to explore our award winning journalism and experience what subscribers already know. There's nothing else quite like it. So why not give us a try? Go to washingtonpost.com week and start your $7 one week pass today. That's washingtonpost.com week.

[Insider Ski Announcer]

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[Joe]

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[Mark]

Who wouldn't?

[Joe]

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[Jack Armstrong]

Jack Armstrong and Joe Getty.

[Mark]

Armstrong and Getty. And now, here's Armstrong and G.

[Joe]

Live.

[Mark]

From Studio C Senor. Hey, Dimly.

[Joe]

Excuse me.

[Mark]

Oh, golly. Oh, boy. Man.

[Joe]

I warmed up in my car all the way to work, thinking today I'm gonna start without spraying phlegm all over everyone.

[Mark]

Good Lord.

[Joe]

But I was not successful. Deep within the bowels of the Armstrong, you Getty Communications compound. And today we're into the tutelage of our. It's Friday under the tutelage of our general manager.

[Mark]

I'm torn. I'm torn. The interviews have gone well, but we have multiple general managers candidates. Do you have any? You're especially excited about Jack today.

[Joe]

I'm feeling very Christmassy. I got my Christmas hat on. That's.

[Mark]

Please. Nothing better than that. The Christmas season, let's remember it's about joy, togetherness and not get stressed out, not get too stressed out, not get so stressed out you commit a crime. We'll just. Let's set the bar there and go. And try to try to leap that bar.

[Joe]

Here's something I've learned. We used to talk about this going way back to the. The beginning of our knowing each other. We both had the fortune of like enjoying Christmas time and it was always a good thing. And in hearing people complain about Thanksgiving and Christmas always seemed weird to us. We just always seemed weird to me. It's like what? I freaking love it. It's awesome. But that was because my families, everybody got along and families were intact. As a divorced family and then trying to put everything together, everything like that is a lot of stress and annoyance and things that you'd rather not deal with. So a lot of the. I love Christmas, Thanksgiving is, is you should be thankful for your situation. That's.

[Mark]

Oh yeah.

[Joe]

I mean, attitude. Attitude, definitely. That definitely plays a difference in, well, everything in life. But it was easier to enjoy the Christmas season. Wasn't trying to manage this whole deal.

[Mark]

Right. Yeah. I have follow up questions obviously, but I'll let you figure out how far you want to go down that road. I will just tell you this at our mega Thanksgiving gathering several days ago in which folks converged from both coasts and all over the place and multiple generations, it was a semi frequent topic of conversation. You know how fortunate it is to be in a family where everybody get. The worst thing that happens is somebody's a little goofy and there's an eye roll and you move on, it's fine. But yeah, it's a blessing. It's an incredible blessing. Yeah.

[Joe]

My nuclear family, it's just me, my brothers, my mom and dad, the same five I started with as a child. We all. We all get together for all this stuff and it's fantastic. I want to hear. Go ahead. I was going to mention my niece sent pictures of her hand with a ring on it the other day. My oldest niece, she's getting married and she's so excited.

[Mark]

Good for her. I hope she's very happy. You want to hear something? It's funny. Communing with my, in particular my youngest daughter's friends has given me a lot more perspective about the world of families. I mean, I've known plenty of people and observed plenty of things throughout my life. But for instance, this one's unbelievable. I'll leave names out. One of her law school buddies, several of them came and we had a great time and actually it was some non law school buddies too, but we were playing a game and one of the girls, one of the young women, I will refer to her as Jenny. Jenny made a real nice throw in the game and I said great throw, Jenny.

[Joe Getty]

Yes.

[Mark]

And she spent the rest of the day thinking about it because this was passed on to me. That was the first time in her life a father figure had encouraged her. Wow. I know, I know. It was heartbreaking.

[Joe]

That is something.

[Mark]

Yeah, yeah, I know. Anyway, so those of us who've been so blessed by fate, genetics and the Lord above or whatever, you want to attribute it to your own great character. You know, with happy families. Oh, what's that line from Karamazov? From, from Dostoevsky. I'm sorry, the other Russian guy. Too many Russian authors got a limit.

[Joe]

All happy families are alike. Unhappy families are all unhappy in their own way. I think that's the beginning of the. And Karenina. Yes, but that seems to be true. The happy family is just. Everybody's nice to everybody and respects everybody. The end. I mean it's not real complicated. Yeah, but you get into the unhappy ones and there's all kinds of. Oh boy. It gets very complicated very fast.

[Mark]

Yeah, yeah. Anyway, happy holidays, Merry Christmas.

[Joe]

So I guess the, the, the, the way to portray this would be I, I have grown and I have more sympathy for people who find this time of year stressful as opposed to boast to only joyous. I still find it mostly joyous and enjoy it and everything like that. And looking forward to. My son's birthday is two days before Christmas, so that always throws a wrench in the. I'm hoping he reaches the age at some point where he agrees to what lots of people suggest doing the, the half birthday in the middle of the summer. So it's not so Close to Christmas and everybody seems to benefit from that. But as a kid, he doesn't dig that, which I can understand because when you're a kid, six months might as well be five years.

[Mark]

Right? Right. I think. And I've studied entitlements in government long enough to know this will probably work. You give him the full on birthday this year in a few days, and then you give him the full on birthday in the summertime. Now, granted, come next year and then come next Christmas.

[Joe]

Yeah. Let's see if that works.

[Mark]

All right.

[Joe]

You remember last summer when we did it?

[Mark]

Yeah.

[Joe]

But I just kind of feel like.

[Mark]

I don't know, I mean, this is my actual birthday.

[Joe]

Doesn't anybody care about me?

[Mark]

Oh, boy.

[Joe]

Oh, boy. It's something we might have Katie's dad on later. We haven't nailed that down yet. To talk a little bit about the dude that murdered Charlie Kirk. The scumbag has been in court the last couple of days and some of the things they've decided to do in the courtroom, like cameras in the courtroom. Katie's father, who was a judge for a very long time, has some comments on. And I'd like to talk about that.

[Mark]

It's so interesting because many legal experts are not big fans of cameras in the courtroom, but Charlie Kirk's widow Erica is staunchly in favor of it. That's interesting and explains why fairly eloquently and powerfully.

[Joe]

Okay, we'll have to get to that a little bit later. I'm against courts and cameras in all courtroom courtrooms. And it's. It runs counter to everything most people believe about transparency and this and that and getting involved. But we've all seen how. What the reality of it is.

[Mark]

Anybody old enough to have watched O.J. has. Yeah.

[Joe]

Yeah. Well, let's start the show officially on a Friday. I'm Jack Armstrong. He's Joe Getty on this. It is Friday, December 12, the year 2025. Armstrong and Getting. We approve of this program.

[Mark]

Did Christopher Darden never pull on a glove that was wet and had been kind of crumpled in his whole life ever? How do you make that mistake? All right, let's begin the show officially now.

[Joe]

Wow. Mark. No, that's a throwback. Yeah. Goddamn liberal. Probably driving around that Hyundai weirdos. And last calling on tower. That's 1, 2, 4.0 hot. Mike, if you don't have balls in this, you're rolling.

[Mark]

Cold shows.

[Joe]

531. Contact departure.

[Mark]

Switch to the bar charts.

[Joe]

530.

[Mark]

That's a little hard to understand.

[Joe]

That was a Pilot saying what, Katie?

[Katie Green]

He was leaving San Jose and he was just saying, you bunch of liberal Fs.

[Mark]

Wow.

[Katie Green]

They're probably all out there driving their effing Hyundais and you're not. You don't have balls unless you're rolling coal.

[Joe]

Yeah, I find that humorous, but I just don't know if I want my pilot to ever be that angry about anything, ever.

[Mark]

Wow. That was the Rooting Institute pilot on Southwest Airlines. Apparently that was a few years ago.

[Joe]

That. Yeah, I don't know. I want calm pilots. I want like kind of wearing your life like a loose fitting suit of clothes. As Jesus says. I don't want you uptight about anything up there.

[Mark]

Yeah, I guess. I don't know, just sounded like, you know what one of the great awful stupid trends of kind of the last phase of the idiotic modern world, it. This is not as hot as it was in initially, but people acting as if private conversations between buddies, between friends, between spouses, whatever, were exactly the same as a speech you would give to the nation in prime time. And that everything you cracked wise about to your buddies ought to be seen as the same level. As an official pronouncement, we might get.

[Joe]

To wrestle with this, this as humanity. I was talking about this with my kids the other day and that's around that experiment that's being done. It's really to help people that have body brain problems. They get further every single day. And the ability to like use a computer with just your mind or type out words with just your mind. But the most recent, the most recent one they had where a guy was able to type out words with his mind, they were having trouble with the, the computer knowing, well, is this just a thought or is this something he wants to say?

[Mark]

How interesting.

[Joe]

So if all of our thoughts at some point are hearable or come out, then we're gonna have to wrestle with as humankind, which would be actually pretty fascinating. Has anybody ever read up and written a book about this or made a movie? Maybe they have. But where, where human beings just had to wrestle with the fact that wow. We all obviously say and think horrific things. I mean just horrific things about people we love and things we don't mean at all and just random thoughts. It's just the way we are built.

[Mark]

Sometimes I think it's healthy. It's like the rain running off the roof into the gutter. You think it, you express it to yourself, you let it go. Because that impulse, that animal impulse is not something you want to hang on to. So it's incredibly healthy. It's necessary.

[Joe]

Well, clearly it's human nature because we all do it well.

[Mark]

And I think we've gotten a little better at my original point too. Understanding. Yeah, people crack wise. They make jokes. They try to shock their friends. That's not an official pronouncement of their view of humanity. So we get to pro persecute them because we love to persecute people because that makes us feel better and more important and more moral and more powerful. Oh, I despise that trend.

[Joe]

Which reminds me, I never got to the trans woman who was put under for surgery but secretly recorded the doctor's conversation and the things she heard in the way she reacted. Never got to that story yesterday. It's pretty interesting. It's way into what you were just describing. People's private. No, no, no, no, no. It didn't even come close. I just. I did a little bit of it and teased that later we would get the rest and then we never got to the rest, so. Oh, we'll do that today. It's kind of a fun conversation. We got Katie's headlines on the way. Lots of good stuff. So stay here.

[Mark]

Armstrong and Getty. Shh.

[Jack Armstrong]

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[Joe Getty]

You are the fittest of the fit. Only one of you will leave here with an IFIT contract for $250,000.

[Mark]

This is where mindset comes in.

[Jack Armstrong]

Someone will be eliminated. Pressure is coming down. This is Trainer Games.

[Mark]

Watch it on prime video starting January 8th.

[Joe Getty]

Ever wish you could try the Washington Post and see what all the talk is about? Right now you can. With a one week pass for just $7. No commitment, no strings attached. Just $7 for one week of unlimited access to the Post. It's the perfect way to explore our award winning journalism and experience what subscribers already know. There's nothing else quite like it. So why not give us a try? Go to washingtonpost.com week and start your $7 one week pass today. That's washingtonpost.com week.

[Insider Ski Announcer]

The world's best ski and snowboard athletes are chasing medals. Now you can follow their every move. Join Insider the official U.S. ski and Snow fan loyalty program and get premium viewing at World cup ski events, exclusive athlete meetups, discounts from brands you love, and a custom welcome gift mailed direct to your doorstep. This winter, show your support as they race for the podium. Head to insider.usski and snowboard.org and join. Today.

[Jack Armstrong]

The holidays are back at Starbucks. So share the season with a peppermint mocha, Starbucks signature espresso, velvety mocha and cool peppermint notes topped with whipped cream and dark chocolate curls together is the best place to be at Starbucks.

[Joe]

How y' all doing? Got a bunch of news to catch you up on and.

[Mark]

A lot of.

[Joe]

The political news I find incredibly, incredibly annoying. And I wonder why anybody pays any attention to it. So I don't know if I'm the best person to ask about any of it.

[Mark]

Yeah, yeah.

[Joe]

I feel like, like 80% of political stories I hear. My first thought is, you realize there's better things to do in life than talk about this.

[Mark]

Yeah. Wednesday during the show, I was actually applying for other work. During the show. I was quiet quitting. I left my resume on the copier. I got busted. That's a very old school reference.

[Joe]

Well, that's the great thing about our situation. Nobody's making us talk about any of those things. Things.

[Mark]

All right, here, here. Let's figure out who's talking about what. It's lead story with Katie Green.

[Joe]

Katie, hit it.

[Katie Green]

Well, prepared to be annoyed, guys.

[Joe]

Oh, boy.

[Mark]

Oh.

[Katie Green]

Top headline on a few of the websites. NBC White House says U.S. intends to seize oil from tanker captured near Venezuela. ABC satellite images suggest seized tanker deliberate deliberately manipulated location data. And Reuters, US Preparing to seize more tankers off of Venezuela's coast after the first ship taken.

[Joe]

Yeah, I find that interesting. That's the first of many tankers we're going to start grabbing, which will have an impact on the whole illegal oil supply that I guess has been a thing forever.

[Mark]

Well, and every regime, including democratic ones depend on money flowing out of the treasury to keep the scam going. And if Maduro can't be paying off people, his. His hold on the regime has weakened significantly.

[Katie Green]

From the Washington Post, Senate blocks Democrats bill to extend expiring Obamacare subsidies.

[Joe]

Well, so neither the Republicans idea or the Democrats idea gonna pass. And then we'll be starting from scratch, I guess at the beginning of the year.

[Katie Green]

From cbs, luxury cars and private villas. How Minnesota fraudulent monsters spent millions intended for hungry kids.

[Joe]

Wow.

[Mark]

Oh, yeah.

[Joe]

Yeah.

[Mark]

And it's becoming more and more clear how important the you're a racist accusation was when anybody tried to look into all of this in Minnesota, the land of George Floyd especially, everybody was terrified of being called a racist. You could get a. You could, you know, shoot somebody in front of a cop and call them a racist and they'd pull back. In Minneapolis in that period if. If they said, I think you killed somebody.

[Joe]

They had a period there in America where you had good reason to be terrified because you were going to lose your career.

[Katie Green]

From the New York Times, from chips to security, China is getting much of it of what it wants from the United States.

[Mark]

Who wrote that?

[Katie Green]

New York, New York Times. From the Wall Street Journal. Air gadgets are bad right now, but they're promised is huge.

[Joe]

Which gadgets are they saying is bad? Like the dolls and all that sort of stuff?

[Katie Green]

No, they're talking about the wearable ones like the meta glasses, wrist AI and whatnot.

[Mark]

I know a few people who really.

[Joe]

Like the meta glasses.

[Mark]

This gal who's terrific. I can't remember her name, but she has tried all of these things and written about them. It's entertaining and interesting. But yeah, they're all not quite ready, I guess. But to be met some glasses fans.

[Joe]

Interesting. Okay.

[Katie Green]

We talked about this a little bit yesterday during local from the New York Post. Dynamic pricing used to raise costs of everything from food and Uber rides to museum visits.

[Joe]

I gotta believe that is a feature. We gotta talk about that more later. That's clearly coming.

[Katie Green]

From study finds pop music has grown darker and more stressed over the last 50 years. Tracking with America's rising distress.

[Joe]

No doubt. I think about that a lot. Thinking listening to young people's music like through. I mean it's. I really feel like it took off in the 90s, the angst and then. I mean angst has always been in rock and roll, but really got angsty in the 90s and then in the 2000s. It's just some of the music my kids.

[Mark]

It's just there's so much.

[Joe]

My life sucks. The world sucks and so hard to be a human.

[Mark]

Sorts of songs.

[Katie Green]

And finally from the Babylon Bee Hospital adds wing for patients to recover after seeing their bill.

[Joe]

Ah, to the music thing. That makes sense though. Art generally reflects life going on at the time. Right. Whether it's paintings or music or writing or whatever. So. Yeah. Which is leading. Which I feel like there's a suggestion there that the music is leading the kids. I think it's a reflection of the kids. Don't you think so?

[Mark]

Right? Oh, yeah. I would agree. Absolutely. That which catches on reflects what they are thinking and feeling.

[Joe]

Sure.

[Mark]

Yeah.

[Joe]

Maybe we'll talk about that later too. That's a pretty interesting topic. We got clips of the week. We got some serious news we need to get into and more spending numbers out. Are we continuing to spend? We got to spend to keep the economy going. Even though your own personal economy might be damaged. Do do the right thing for America and max out your credit card. I guess if you missed a segment of the podcast Armstrong and Getty on Demand.

[Jack Armstrong]

Armstrong and Getty. Then the space hamster flew his hot air balloon all the way to the bottom of the ocean. Where did that story come from? Book Dream? Nope. It came from a conversation. Meet Meco Mini plus, the AI companion that co creates personalized story adventures with your child in real time. What color was the hamster's cape and what did he pack for lunch? Unlock your child's imagination. Discover Miko Mini plus and the Magic of AI exclusively at Costco 10 athletes will face the toughest job interview in fitness that will push past physical and mental breaking points.

[Joe Getty]

You are the fittest of the fit. Only one of you will leave here.

[Jack Armstrong]

With an IFIT contract for $250,000.

[Mark]

This is where mindset comes in.

[Joe Getty]

Someone will be eliminated.

[Jack Armstrong]

Pressure is coming down. This is Trainer Games.

[Mark]

Watch it on prime video starting January 8th.

[Joe Getty]

Ever wish you could try the Washington Post and see what all the talk is about? Right now you can with a one week pass for just $7. No commitment, no strings attached. Just $7 for one week of unlimited access to the Post. It's the perfect way to explore our award winning journalism and experience what subscribers already know. There's nothing else quite like it, so why not give us a try? Go to washingtonpost.com week and start your $7 one week pass today. That's washingtonpost.com week.

[Insider Ski Announcer]

The world's best ski and snowboard athletes are chasing medals. Now you can follow their every move. Join Insider, the official US Ski and snowboard fan loyalty program and get premium viewing at World cup ski events, exclusive athlete meetups, discounts from brands you love and a custom welcome gift mailed direct to your doorstep. This winter, show your support as they race for the podium. Head to insider usskiandsnowboard.org and join today.

[Jack Armstrong]

It's the season to come together over your holiday favorites at Starbucks. Warm up with a creamy caramel brulee latte, get festive with an iced gingerbread chai, or share a velvety peppermint mocha. Together is the best place to be.

[Joe]

At Starbucks Barry Weiss, who Tucker Carlson on. Tucker Carlson was on Theo Vaughn's podcast. That's an interesting thing. But he called Barry Weiss unimpressive. Anyway, I disagree. Barry Weiss, who's running CBS News now and is one of the more impressive journalists ever, has a follow up on the fraud Minnesota thing. That's pretty interesting. We'll get to that in a little bit. Excellent. That's a story that keeps on giving.

[Mark]

Oh, my God. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It is such a great indicator of so many things we're getting wrong, I'd say. Yeah. Okay, let's take a fun look back at the week that was. It's the beloved Friday tradition. It's Cal Clips of the week. Deported millions so far. FA la la la la la la la la. If I had to say, like, there's only one thing you can ever have for the rest of time, which admittedly would be a bit monotonous, but it would probably be a cheeseburger.

[Joe]

So I wrote, it's not a terrible theory. And Conan texted me back, he killed my dad.

[Mark]

Oh my God, all women are annoying. Have you ever had sex? No, absolutely not. Wow. Says the guy who's never got laid. I think Islam is uniquely indigestible or a secular mindset. Another moment with one of these humanoid robots. This time kicking its CEO in a.

[Joe]

Simulated face off in China. The robot landing quite a forceful strike.

[Mark]

He chuckles and shows you how to take lines. So Travis Kelsey bot is teaching a.

[Jack Armstrong]

15 year old to do cocaine.

[Joe Getty]

Yes.

[Jack Armstrong]

I don't feel good about being white every day for a lot of reasons.

[Joe Getty]

Because it's a point of privilege.

[Mark]

Scraping the ass end in education. You can't even spell ass end.

[Katie Green]

Ass end. Yeah.

[Joe]

What has happened to you? Did you have a stroke?

[Mark]

The new word is affordability.

[Jack Armstrong]

I wonder what grade you would give a a.

[Joe]

This deal, if it is allowed to move forward, will actually be the death.

[Katie Green]

Of the theatrical movie business in Hollywood. We're sitting here today trying to save it.

[Mark]

We're the United States of America. That's who we are.

[Joe]

Russia has brought war back to Europe.

[Mark]

And we must be prepared for the.

[Joe]

Scale of war our grandparents and great grandparents endured.

[Jack Armstrong]

The binary Justice Department called it the largest Covid fraud scheme in the country. This also has an impact on Somalis. Do you think that the video should be related, released in full to the American public?

[Joe]

But whatever they have, we'd certainly release no problem.

[Mark]

This video was profoundly shaking.

[Joe]

I didn't find it distressing or disturbing. It looks like any number of a dozens of strikes. We've seen.

[Mark]

Senator, have you seen the video? I have seen the video.

[Katie Green]

You have seen the classified video?

[Mark]

No, I've not seen the actual video.

[Joe]

What happens to the oil on that ship?

[Mark]

Well, we keep it, I guess.

[Jack Armstrong]

It's clips of the week.

[Joe]

What a week as every week is in the modern world. Too much stuff. Trump, as promised yesterday on the Armstrong and Getty show, signed an executive order around AI to try to keep 50 different states from having 50 different sets of rules making it impossible for AI to try to come about in a way that we can compete against China. We'll have to talk about that a little bit later. That's pretty interesting.

[Mark]

And now it's just a very odd thing to try to do to something Internet related in the United States of America.

[Joe]

Yeah, yeah. And I see in California it's got to be Gavin running this. He's going to try to fight that. It's a. Donald Trump is going to allow this wild out of control technology to blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Well, we're not going to allow that to happen. That's so that's going to become a wedge thing there.

[Mark]

So Gov Gav with Silicon Valley, the only productive sector practically of California is now going to choke it out. Okay, all right, good.

[Joe]

So all those people up in Minnesota stole all that money. A billion dollars in one not very big state.

[Mark]

Yeah.

[Joe]

Got stolen. And again, this is not near as big a story as it probably should be.

[Mark]

Why?

[Joe]

Because Donald Trump blamed Somalis. So the mainstream media feels like it's evil and they got to stay away from the story. I guess this is pretty interesting. Anyway, Barry Weiss, who runs CBS News and is a real journalist and covers things that are interesting regardless of what, you know. Sacred cows they touch, luxury cars, private villas and overseas wire transfers. CBS News has obtained dozens of files and photos that reveal how Minnesota fraudsters blew through hundreds of millions of dollars in taxpayer dollars as part of one of the biggest Covid era fraud schemes in the entire country. Again, Minnesota is not, it's not like it's California or New York or Texas. A billion dollars in Minnesota. Oh, yeah. The files document a spending spree in which defendants many of Somali descent. Good for you, Barry Weiss, throwing that in there took taxpayer money meant to feed hungry children and used it to buy cars, property and jewelry. Videos show them popping champagne at an opulent Maldives resort. In a text message, one defendant boasts, you're gonna be the richest 25 year old Insha'.

[Mark]

Allah.

[Joe]

I don't know. Is that a term?

[Mark]

Yeah, if Allah is willing oh, okay.

[Joe]

I gotcha.

[Mark]

That's what.

[Joe]

That's. Oh, that's what that means. Okay. Well, that's nice. That's fantastic. The documents feature exhibits from a recent federal trial, many of which are being made public by CBS News for the first time. The exhibits include a confirmation email for stay in an overwater villa with private pool at the Radisson Blue Resort. And Maldives lakefront property in Minnesota. Receipts showing wire transfers to China and East Africa. Oh, awesome. So people here. People here from China sending money back to China. That's fantastic. Stolen from the taxpayers. That's absolutely just great.

[Mark]

Beautiful.

[Joe]

First class tickets to Istanbul and Amsterdam. Well, if you're going to fly now, you might as well fly first class now that you're living off the taxpayer. Certainly somebody bought a Porsche.

[Mark]

Stacks stretch out over the Atlantic. Relax.

[Joe]

Stacks of cash. Somebody bought a Porsche. Porsche. Where others saw a crisis and rushed to help you. Saw money and rushed to steal, said the US District judge. Trying to make these people feel bad, and they probably don't. They feel bad that they got caught. I doubt that they feel bad that they did it. One person, though, sentenced to 10 years in prison. That's a long time. And ordered to pay nearly $48 million in restitution for rolling a fraud. Yeah. So how does that work out when you're told to pay back $48 million and I'm guessing this is just a regular person that makes a regular living.

[Mark]

That's a great question. I've never had to enforce that sort of order. I think essentially for the rest of. If a portion of what you make.

[Joe]

Has to go to restitution, that would be my guess. And I have no idea what I'm talking about. You can text or email, but I'll bet you're allowed enough to live on a pretty meager life. And everything above that goes to pay off your debt for the rest of your life, which sounds awesome. That seems like a perfect penalty.

[Mark]

Yeah. Oh, you're greedy now you're sentenced to life. Life of barely getting by. Nice scheme. You know, it's almost this whole thing, this whole Somali Minneapolis ripoff scandal. It's like Satan designed, or maybe God would, to open our eyes. But Satan was sitting around with his henchmen, rubbing his goatee. Gin. Everybody knows Satan has a goatee. My sister once said to me, joe, your goatee makes you look like Satan. Really? Yeah, really? Yeah. Back when it was much darker. Anyway, I don't remember. I don't remember. We met. We were friendly. We used to hang out Together. I was never to his island.

[Joe]

Yes, I don't remember your Satan period, and I look at you every day. But.

[Mark]

The greatest trick the devil ever played was convincing the world he didn't exist. So Satan's involvement in all of this afterward. From the angels of deliciousness at omaha steaks. Omaha steaks.com I may have personally been on the website myself last night, enjoying 50% off site wide on fabulous gifts for people who don't need more stuff to put in a closet. They need deliciousness.

[Joe]

I got one kid who doesn't like red meat. I made him sleep outside in the cold last night. I'm trying to change him. It's conversion therapy. Yes, but my other kid loves. Loves red meat. And so we're, we're actually doing more of the burgers tonight from Omaha Steak since our package came in last week. And of course they got other stuff that's not red meat. The son that doesn't like red meat will eat every apple tartlet if I don't keep an eye on them. That's for sure from Omaha Steaks. But right now, during their sizzle all the way sale, you can get 50 off site wide at Omaha steaks.com and if you use the promo code ARMSTRONG, extra $35 off. How awesome is that?

[Mark]

Can I just order a freezer freezer full of the apple tartlets, please?

[Joe]

Those are good.

[Mark]

I would like a million. Yes. So say big on gourmet gifts and more holiday favorites with Omaha steaks. Visit Omaha steaks.com for 50% off site wide during their sizzle all the way sale. And for an extra 35 off, use the promo code Armstrong at checkout. Terms apply C site for details. That's Omaha Steaks.com and the code to remember at checkout is Armstrong. So I picture Satan rubbing his joke Eddie esque goatee. And so he's saying to himself, we need to design the perfect debacle. We need to combine rampant unchecked immigration. And one of his henchmen would say, make sure it's from a place that's hostile to the principles of the United States. Ah, an excellent idea, Beelzebub. So rampant immigration from a hostile place. How about an insulated community that does not assimilate from a culture where corruption is routine. Can we sprinkle that with some of the bloated American welfare states? Utter lack of interest in any protecting taxpayers money. They just, just spray it like, like a fire hose. And how about a little political correctness in there? Yes, a little wokeness can we leaven little wokeness spice into this delicious recipe?

[Joe]

Well, to be fair, I think you need to throw in a very large dash of the public doesn't care enough about where taxpay goes.

[Mark]

Wow. Yeah. Okay, so a little bit of narrow the tax pace so that the average taxpayer doesn't care. And that's this situation. Ayaan Hersan Ali, who is the absolutely brilliant Somali immigrant. She's I think in the UK at this point. She's married to the great Neil Ferguson and has dropped out of Islam, which has earned her, you know, the fatwa. Writing about the dynamics, the specifically Somali dynamics of this scandal, which are definitely worth touching on at some point. But it's true. It's not racism to point out that fraud and theft in that part of the world is absolutely rampant because legitimate interaction with the government and its programs or business or whatever, they practically don't exist.

[Joe]

Well, yeah, that's interesting. And I am, I am more than willing to talk about that. And we do need to do something about letting people into this country that have no respect for it or the taxpayer or even like the country. But you know, one of the biggest frauds of all the COVID Minnesota billion dollars bigger fraud in California by mostly people born here. It's amazing how many people are willing to steal. I just like, I would never ever consider doing that. And I don't even exactly know why, but I just wouldn't take morals millions of dollars from the taxpayer and certainly then think, you know, what I'm gonna do is go fly first class or whatever. But if you're from another country and you don't like the country, I was just picturing, like if I ended up in China and I don't like the Chinese government, obviously, and somehow I end up in a situation where I could steal a million dollars of CCP money. I don't care. I live in China. That's their problem. If I thought I could get away with it, I don't think my morals would come into play there. Which is interesting. So that, you know, that's a double layer for the people from countries that don't even like us.

[Mark]

All right? That's why there are so many, like I was pointing out aspects of this that need to be addressed at some point. To your point, the bank that just every night they forget to lock the vault, they can all they want about the dishonest townspeople who come and help themselves to the loot. But at some point, hey, you've got a responsibility here too.

[Joe]

Can we put A fence around that thing or something? Hire a night watchman. Yeah, I don't know. That's. That's an interesting question. I think I'd be perfectly willing to steal money from the Chinese government if I lived in China and thought I could get away with it. So where are my morals then?

[Mark]

Well, right, Yeah. I mean, right. We have an array of problems.

[Joe]

Yeah. Yeah, no kidding.

[Mark]

So, yeah.

[Joe]

So you bring in people who don't like the country, and then you add in the fact that there's plenty of people willing to steal no matter what.

[Mark]

And you have a culture where if I call the Chinese authorities who came to my house racist, they're like, oh, oh, sorry, sorry. I mean, come on.

[Joe]

Yeah, you're only after me because I'm white. I say, in China that wouldn't work.

[Mark]

And they'd retreat quickly. Oh, no, no. I don't want anybody to yell at me, please. I mean, if you were to describe this to a space alien, they would think, no, there's no country like that.

[Joe]

We've got mailbag on the way and lots of good stuff to get to. I just came up with a long list of bad jokes that I feel like if you have them all in a row, they're funny. Maybe we'll do that later. It's Friday, for crying out loud. Stay here.

[Jack Armstrong]

Armstrong and Getty. Then the space hamster flew his hot air balloon all the way to the bottom of the ocean. Where did that story come from? Book Dream? Nope. It came from a conversation. Meet Meco Mini plus, the AI companion that co creates personalized story adventures with your child in real time. What color was the hamster's cape and what did he pack for lunch? Unlock your child's imagination. Discover Miko Mini plus and the Magic of AI exclusively at Costco. 10 athletes will face the toughest job interview in fitness that will push past physical and mental breaking points.

[Joe Getty]

You are the fittest of the fit. Only one of you will leave here.

[Jack Armstrong]

With an IFIT contract for $250,000.

[Mark]

This is where mindset comes in.

[Joe Getty]

Someone will be eliminated.

[Jack Armstrong]

Pressure is coming down. This is Trainer Games.

[Mark]

Watch it on prime video starting January 8th.

[Joe Getty]

Ever wish you could try the Washington Post and see what all the talk is about? Right now you can, with a one week pass for just $7. No commitment, no strings attached. Just $7 for one week of unlimited access to the Post. It's the perfect way to explore our award winning journalism and experience what subscribers already know. There's nothing else quite like it. So why not give us a try. Go to washingtonpost.com week and start your $7 one week pass today. That's washingtonpost.com week.

[Insider Ski Announcer]

The world's best ski and snowboard athletes are chasing medals. Now you can follow their every move, join the official U.S. ski and Snowboard Fan Loyalty program and get premium viewing at World cup ski events, exclusive athlete meetups, discounts from brands you love, and a custom welcome gift mailed direct to your doorstep. This winter, show your support as they race for the podium. Head to insider.usski and snowboard.org and join today.

[Jack Armstrong]

The holidays are back at Starbucks, so share the season with a peppermint mocha, Starbucks signature Espresso, Velvety mocha and cool peppermint notes topped with whipped cream and dark chocolate curls together is the best place to be at Starbucks.

[Joe]

Wall Street Journal Today Trump says Ukraine is losing the war. That gives you a little inkling as to why he feels the way he feels about the current peace process. Maybe we'll get into that a little later. He thinks Ukraine is losing.

[Mark]

Yeah, I happen to see that article, the point of which is that the Ukrainian military disagrees strongly. So interesting. Here's your freedom loving quote of the day. Following up Yesterday Will Durant said a great civilization is not conquered from without out until it has destroyed itself from within. Let's follow up with something absolutely fabulous from the great Thomas Soell. Just as any moron can destroy a priceless Ming vase, so the shallow and ill educated people who run our schools can undermine and destroy from within a great civilization that took centuries of dedicated effort to create and maintain.

[Joe]

Well, that's troubling.

[Mark]

Woof.

[Joe]

Wow.

[Mark]

Mailbag. Pretty good description of our perverse government schools as well. Jared, Missouri writing to our mailbag@armstrong getty.com that's the email address mailbagarmstrongetty.com progressives will say natural things like the family or social constructs while calling social constructs like transgenderism natural. Yes. Odd.

[Joe]

Yes.

[Mark]

Good point Jared. Dr. Brian writes, I can't believe I would ever side with Jack Armstrong. Joe, your euphemisms for hot dogs make me never want to eat one or a sausage ever again. I can't believe I'm agreeing with Jack. This is all on you. Your major bed now sleeping it. At least my comforter is dry. Your hot dog euphemisms are disgusting.

[Joe]

I agree. Joe takes one of the great pleasures in life, the hot dog, and ruins it with his disgusting terms for it.

[Mark]

Finally, one more sentence. If you want back the number one slot, you better try Harder. Until then, I'm Team Armstrong.

[Joe Getty]

Wrong.

[Mark]

Well, go to hell. Dr. Brian, I. I would submit to you that tube steak.

[Joe]

Ew.

[Mark]

Is. Why is that a. You know, clearly a tube. And it's calling it a steak, which elevates the humble hot dog.

[Joe]

Yeah, Katie's making a face too. None of us are finding that appealing.

[Katie Green]

Yes, something about it. It's just bad.

[Joe]

Yeah, it's not appealing if I'm sitting there on the couch. Anybody want a hot dog? Yes. Anybody want a tube steak?

[Mark]

No. Well, sensitive little children, tube steaks for everyone. Moving along, you're gonna veer from topic to topic here, Mark. Oh, no, see, can't do that. You can't do that. We'll have to do that another time. If you want to be anonymous, make it clear at the outset, not in some tiny 8 point font thing at the very end. I really want to read that email. But later.

[Joe]

You protect sources.

[Mark]

I do. I have never gotten anybody in trouble.

[Joe]

You're the Bob Woodward of morning radio. Email.

[Mark]

Lot like that. Marina from San Diego, frequently the source of some fascinating thoughts. Guys, the whole experiment on children on social media and devices unsupervised is a tragedy. However, it's how America does things almost from the beginning. Our freedom allows us to invent anything and everything. Balls to the walls. And then it's just unleashed with no regulation or testing. Not until we see the damage it causes do we begin to make corrections. Some things take longer than others take seat belts, cigarettes, lawn darts or Metabolife. The reality is enough people and children have to die or be severely injured before change happens. There's a great show on the History Channel called Hazardous History with Henry Winkler the Fonz. It's about the crazy ass that people have invented that were either dangerous or deadly. The idea that we used to allow them in this country is insane. Someday we'll look back and think the same stupid does hurt. It hurts us all. My only gripe with that email, which I find excellent, is lawn darts. If you don't know enough to stay out of the way of the lawn dart hurtling through the air, you deserve a puncture wound. Joe Getty's America isn't quite so soft as Marina's.

[Joe]

Yeah, not knowing cigarettes to kill you. You can be excused for not knowing. A lawn dart could do what a lawn dart can do. The hell?

[Mark]

It's a weighted spike flying through the air. Think about it. Let's see, we got 30 seconds. Guys. I've heard that if Republicans don't extend the Obamacare subsidies. Thousands will die. Gee, how many people died of starvation when the Somalis stole a billion dollars designated to feed the food insecure. What a bunch of bullshizzle. Starve the lazy.

[Joe]

Thank you for that. We're gonna talk to Katie's dad who was judge about the trial that started up the killer of Charlie Kirk in hour two. If you don't get it, get the.

[Jack Armstrong]

Podcast Armstrong and Getty.

[Joe]

Shh.

[Jack Armstrong]

You won't believe what my new friend just told me about dinosaurs. Is your child having conversations you never imagined? Are they learning without realizing it? It's not a tablet. It's not a toy. It's Meco Mini plus, the AI powered companion that out turns turns curiosity into endless learning. Hear the future of playtime. Meet the extraordinary Miko Mini Plus. Only at Costco, 10 athletes will face the toughest job interview in fitness that will push past physical and mental breaking points.

[Joe Getty]

You are the fittest of the fit. Only one of you will lead here.

[Jack Armstrong]

With an IFIT contract worth $250,000.

[Mark]

This is where mindset comes in.

[Joe Getty]

Someone will be eliminated.

[Jack Armstrong]

Pressure is coming down. This is Trainer Games.

[Mark]

Watch it on prime video starting January 8th.

[Joe Getty]

Ever wish you could try the Washington Post and see what all the talk is about? Right now you can with a one week pass for just $7. No commitment, no strings attached. Just $7 for one week of unlimited access to the Post. It's the perfect way to explore our award winning journalism and experience what subscribers already know. There's nothing else quite like it. So why not give us a try? Go to washingtonpost.com week and start your $7 one week pass today. That's washingtonpost.com week.

[Insider Ski Announcer]

The world's best ski and snowboard athletes are chasing medals. Now you can follow their every move. Join Insider, the official US Ski and snowboard fan loyalty program, and get premium viewing at World cup ski events, exclusive athlete meetups, discounts from brands you love, and a custom welcome gift mailed direct to your doorstep. This winter, show your support as they race for the podium. Head to Insider, usski and snowboard.org and join today.

[Jack Armstrong]

How do I do it all during the holidays? Four words Shipt. Same day delivery. With Shipt, I can order grocery store groceries from Albertsons, decor from Michaels, even gifts for my furry friend from Petsmart. Plus my personal shopper brings everything I need that same day. That makes it a breeze to decorate, get my shopping done and make time for all the holiday parties. Do it all this holiday season with Shipt. Download the app or visit shipt.com. that's s h ipt.com. this is an I heart podcast. Guaranteed human.