C (1:58)

I've not had one, so.

A (1:59)

I know you have not.

B (2:00)

It's overdue, by the way. Get to your obgyn, Jack, For.

A (2:04)

For the sake of us all, you know, whole cleansing. No, but for any female listening, they'll. They'll understand what I'm talking about. But so, yes, they go in through the maturely called yoo hoo, as Jack said, and they inserted a catheter into my uterus and right into my uterine lining, which over the. I know Jack. Jack looks like he's about to throw up, which over the last two weeks, one of the reasons that I've been needing to be, like, down for the count is because the medications that I have been taking have been Making my lining of my uterus fluffy, as they've been saying. Fluffy. They use all the adjectives no female ever wants to be described as. They've been calling me fluffy, sticky and thick.

C (2:54)

Yeah.

A (2:56)

Yeah. One of the girls who did one of my ultrasounds went, damn, girl, you thick. I was like, thanks. Thank you. Thank you. That's what we're looking for. Yeah. So I actually. I posted the video up@armstronggetty.com in Katie's Corner. It's actually really fascinating because you can. So she inserts the little catheter, and you can hear me. She's. She's trying to talk to me as this is going on, and I'm going, mm, okay. Yeah. Cause I'm just. I'm just like, get out of there.

C (3:25)

Was it. Was it painful or just uncomfortable?

A (3:27)

It.

C (3:28)

You know, two different things.

A (3:29)

Usually I'm having a hard time telling the difference between the two because I can't tell if it was so uncomfortable that it was painful. I don't. I. I don't really know. All I know is, at the end, once everything was done, my color left my body, and I damn near passed out.

B (3:46)

Oh, Katie, tell me if this rings true to you having had a number of significant medical procedures, and you have to.

C (3:53)

Jack.

B (3:56)

There'S a feeling it's not pain exactly, but it's your animal brain telling you this should not be happening.

C (4:03)

Yeah. I was thinking of when they. They biopsied my tumor, so they had to go in through my back with a long needle all the way inside. And I don't know if you described it as specifically painful, but it was just like. Yeah, it was like, this is not something that's supposed to happen to me. Whatever is happening here.

A (4:19)

Yeah, you know what? That. That's exactly it. And My doctor is Dr. Amy of Ozadeh out of the East Bay in California. And she's just. She is an angel, but the whole time, she was kind of tapping the side of my legs, going, relax your legs. Relax your leg. Because my. My whole legs. My whole.

B (4:40)

I'm gonna relax my fist right into your.

A (4:42)

Relax.

C (4:42)

I.

B (4:42)

Sorry, I lost my head.

A (4:44)

But that. So. And, like, I. I actually remember trying to, like, center myself and relax the lower half of my body, but I just couldn't.

C (4:53)

I know. How many times have I done that where I, like, okay, I'm on top of this. I got it. I've said my mantras. I. And then, like, it disappears in a second. I've lost all completion.

B (5:02)

I'm playing a golf course in my Head. Now, the second hole is a par 4.

A (5:05)

No, I can't direct. Yeah. Oh, she. She came in. She comes into the room. She's like, you ready? I was like, I'm ready. Let's do, like, 2.5 seconds into it. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no. You know, so it was actually quite the production. There was an embryologist there who was the woman who actually had the embryo and who has been doing all this sciency stuff to it. I don't. I don't know what all of that is. I know that she put Drew's sperm in there and has been watching him grow. That's all that I know. But she came in through a door that I didn't know was in the room. Yeah, yeah. She, like, came up from behind me, and. And she's got it like, she's holding it like a silver platter, you know, and Dr. Amy goes, thank you. And they put it up on the big screen, and it was this whole thing, and they were doing their best to, like, distract me from what I was physically going through. Like, funny faces, stuff like that, balloon animals, cracking jokes. There was house music on in the room, you know, like, I don't know.

B (6:11)

Well, you know, not to over overdo the theme, but so much of modern medical medicine is a miracle. But those things would never happen to you unless you were being murdered, like, for the entirety of human history. Nobody would be doing what they did with that needle, Jack. Unless it was a sword.

C (6:29)

Yeah, right. You were being murdered or fluffing your uterus.

A (6:32)

Right?

B (6:32)

Yeah, yeah.

A (6:34)

But she. So she gets. And, you know, it wasn't. She put the catheter in, which I don't know that I felt. I think my brain felt it, which made me feel it because I could see it on the screen. But then she. She takes the embryo and she goes, okay, here we go. And in the video, you can see this little light white blob go through this little tube, and then all of a sudden, right into my uterus and almost lit up.

C (6:58)

Wow.

A (6:59)

And what was funny is when she. When she was doing it. Dr. Amy, as. As he went. Because it's. It's a boy. As he went into my uterus, she went, wee.

C (7:09)

Oh, wow. Sound effects.

A (7:11)

Yeah. And then. And then after that, it was done, other than the fact that they had to get me, like, six ice packs and bring me back to life because I decided to, you know, vacate my.

B (7:23)

So is, God willing, the pregnancy going to proceed in more of the usual way at this point? Or do you still have to get jabbed and poked in and drugged and stuff?

A (7:35)

So I have my first pregnancy test next Tuesday, and then they do a follow up just to make sure on Thursday. And then at 18 weeks is when they do the big test to make sure that he does not have polycystic kidney disease, which is the whole reason we've been doing this. So that's called PGA testing. So they're going to. I have a feeling. I have a terrible feeling that that's going to involve a needle going through my stomach to get the amniotic fluid. I think. I know, I know. I hate to tell you, but. And I hate to think that that's what they're going to do, but. So it's going to be kind of a waiting game until 18 weeks, and then I'm just staying positive that he does not have it. He's not going to.

C (8:19)

Sure.

A (8:20)

Because it's a 50. 50 shot.

C (8:21)

50, 50.

A (8:22)

It's polycystic kidney disease is a 50, 50% hereditary disease. So. But he's in there.

C (8:30)

Well, do we say congratulations? I mean. Okay.

A (8:33)

Yeah, he's in there. And let me tell you, I have had to quit all of my vices, which is a good time, right? No drinking, no occasional vaping, no anything, which has made me a joy.

B (8:50)

Oh, boy. Yeah, no comment.

A (8:54)

Yeah. Drew's still alive. I will let you know that.

C (8:56)

Yeah.

A (8:57)

Good. But everything's good. And I was texting with Hanson. I was like, dude, I just. I just want to come back. It's. I didn't. I didn't like being away for as long as I was. And so we're feeling good and a little. Still a little medicated, but I will be medicated for another 12 days. And then I think I'm done with those.

C (9:15)

I remember when you're pregnant. Funny, I don't remember this. You drink caffeine or not?

A (9:18)

No.

C (9:19)

No caffeine.

A (9:20)

Nope. That's some coffee list today.

C (9:21)

Okay. So that's a tough one, too.

A (9:23)

Yeah.

B (9:24)

Other things.

A (9:25)

Yeah, yeah. Caffeine, booze, sushi. Oh, my God, that's one of my favorite.

C (9:30)

Can't eat sushi when you're pregnant.

A (9:32)

Deli meats. So no, like deli sandwiches. Unless it's hand carved stuff.

C (9:38)

Probably. Probably bull riding. You're not doing any of that anymore.

A (9:41)

Go bull riding, which is like every weekend. Passion. Yeah, I know, I know. So, well, Cool. Yeah, I'm excited.

C (9:49)

Yeah.

A (9:50)

Like I said, his name is Jack Joe Michelangelo Hansen Green.

C (9:54)

How roughly long have they been doing this for people how long is this technology been, like, a regular thing?

A (10:01)

Oh, geez.

C (10:02)

I don't, like, decades or a couple of years or. I don't even know.

A (10:04)

I know Dr. Amy's been doing it for a long time, and she's. I mean, she's one of the best of the best, so I should ask her how long she's had her practice. But.

C (10:13)

And you explained to us that insurance is not covering a lot of this, and it's pretty expensive.

A (10:17)

It's quite expensive. But there are. There are certain places, like, if you have a. I've read that if you get, like, if you have a job at Amazon. Amazon actually covers infertility.

C (10:27)

Oh, damn.

A (10:29)

But I don't. I don't really know other companies do that.

B (10:34)

I'm glad I asked. The very first successful IVF birth. I remember this was Louise Brown in England in 1978.

C (10:42)

Oh, wow.

B (10:44)

And Dr. Robert Edwards won the 2010 Nobel Prize in physiology or medicine for this breakthrough. It's obviously progressed.

C (10:52)

Yeah. I just wonder how long it's been, like, common for regular people to do. I don't know that.

A (10:57)

Well, I was blown away by the amount of people that listened to the last podcast about this and reached out to me on Twitter or whatever, saying, you know, my wife is going through this, and it was really nice to hear somebody else talk about it.

C (11:11)

Yeah.

A (11:12)

So that's why I, you know, I've never really been a closed book about anything, so I have no problem talking about this stuff. And the other cool part is that. So since we have six very healthy embryos. Also, I'm very good at making girls because I have one boy embryo. The rest are chicks. But once the two. We want two babies. So once we're. We're done. The remaining embryos are going to be donated to families that can't.

C (11:39)

Oh, wow.

B (11:41)

What a beautiful thing.

A (11:42)

Yeah.

C (11:42)

I'll be darned.

A (11:44)

So be afraid there might be more of me out there.

B (11:47)

Fine. God help us. Final note on my months of research on this topic, it was really in the early 2000s that they stepped on the gas pedal, and it became much, much more widespread and efficient. And millions of babies have now been born worldwide through IVF since 1978.

C (12:06)

Well, we all learned something. I don't want to put my feet in those stirrups. I don't. I just don't feel like that's my best side.

A (12:14)

You should try it one time. Just one time. Just go in there when you go to the doctor's office, be like, hey, Doc, are there stirrups on this chair. Let me. Can I just one time.

C (12:22)

It's kind of comfortable. Seems like I'd be. Feel very vulnerable.

B (12:27)

Exactly. To help your empathy there, tough guy.

A (12:30)

Yeah, murder face.

B (12:32)

Yeah, no need to go after his murder face. You know, make him more murdery.

A (12:39)

My wife is going to do that, but after hearing this, we're just going to do a foreign exchange student this summer. Jeez.

C (12:46)

Excellent, Michael.

A (12:48)

Well, I guess that's it.

B (12:52)

That's a good, funny punchline, Michael.

A (12:54)

You're just the greatest.

C (12:56)

That is a good.

A (12:58)

This is an I Heart podcast.