Get Your Weeds Off My Lawn!

Summary

Armstrong & Getty On Demand - Episode Summary: "Get Your Weeds Off My Lawn!"

Release Date: May 14, 2025

In this engaging episode of Armstrong & Getty On Demand, hosted by iHeartPodcasts, Armstrong and Getty delve into a common yet often contentious neighborhood issue: maintaining property standards and managing difficult neighbors. Joined by co-host Katie Green, the trio navigates through personal anecdotes, humorous exchanges, and thoughtful discussions, offering listeners both entertainment and insight.

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1. Introduction and Lighthearted Topics

The episode kicks off with Armstrong and Getty introducing the theme of the day, setting a playful yet relatable tone. Katie Green shares two seemingly trivial news items, sparking a brief discussion on societal standards and the impact of technology on personal image.

• Katie Green [00:12]: "Salma Hayek is going to be on the COVID of Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue at age 58."

• Armstrong [00:33]: "Who do they think they're pleasing with their activism. It's not just hot young chicks. Make it hot young chicks or don't."

The conversation transitions into the influence of apps and AI on photo and video enhancement, highlighting the superficiality that can arise from easily manipulated appearances.

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2. News Highlights: Menendez Brothers and Pete Rose

Katie Green brings attention to two significant stories from the previous news cycle, providing a nostalgic throwback to the late 1980s.

• Katie Green [01:05]: "The Menendez Brothers murders were August 20, 1989. Pete Rose banned August 24, 1989, four days apart."

This segment emphasizes the lasting impact of these events and sets the stage for deeper discussions about legacy and public perception.

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3. Main Discussion: Neighbor's Unkempt Yard

The heart of the episode revolves around Getty's predicament with a new neighbor whose neglected yard is encroaching on his property. This situation becomes a catalyst for exploring themes of community standards, personal boundaries, and conflict resolution.

a. Getty's Experience and Actions

Getty shares his proactive approach to maintaining his yard and the frustration caused by his neighbor's lack of upkeep.

• Getty [01:43]: "I take really, really good care of our yard. That's kind of my job. I hang all the little lights. I take care of all the weeds."

• Getty [02:51]: "Have you considered going and, like, cutting it off and whatever?"

He recounts attempting to rectify the issue by physically removing the invasive weeds, despite the potential for escalating tensions.

b. Describing the Neighbor

The neighbor is depicted as disorganized and confrontational, contributing to Getty's growing frustration.

• Getty [03:42]: "She's a court reporter. And started talking garbage about the legal system and judges, which, considering my dad does that, didn't."

• Getty [05:03]: "She has one of those boho sheets covering the front window of her house. Oh, you know, the real classy look."

This characterization underscores the challenges of dealing with individuals who may not share the same values or standards.

c. Navigating HOA and Potential Conflicts

The conversation shifts to the dilemma of involving the Homeowners Association (HOA) and the fear of worsening neighbor relations.

• Getty [03:15]: "...so my first encounter with this woman was not a delight... I don't know if I should just say screw it and go to the HOA because it really is starting to piss me off."

Armstrong humorously suggests retaliatory tactics, highlighting the often absurd lengths individuals might consider in neighbor disputes.

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4. Humorous Exchanges and Escalation Strategies

The hosts engage in a lighthearted yet sharp exchange about potential escalation methods, blending humor with the frustrations of dealing with difficult neighbors.

• Armstrong [05:58]: "Campaign of sabotage and harassment is appropriate, and I recommend you begin it immediately."

• Getty [06:07]: "I have a dog. I can collect the droppings. Leave them."

Suggestions range from displaying divisive political signs to more mischievous ideas like shining spotlights directly into the neighbor's house or smearing mashed potatoes on their car. These exchanges serve to entertain while also reflecting real sentiments many listeners might share.

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5. Technology as a Solution and Future Implications

Getty mentions employing technology, such as a ring camera, to monitor any potential confrontations, blending practicality with the looming possibility of the conflict escalating.

• Getty [08:44]: "Well, the good news for that is there is a ring camera that points at the front of my house. So it will all be recorded if anything does take place."

Armstrong and Katie Green ponder the future of this neighborly rivalry, teasing future episodes that might delve deeper into the ongoing conflict.

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6. Closing Remarks and Teasing Future Content

The episode concludes with a hint at the continuing saga between Getty and his neighbor, leaving listeners anticipating more humorous and relatable content in future episodes.

• Katie Green [08:56]: "This is a good setup, Katie. For future episodes, I'm sure."

Armstrong wraps up the discussion, maintaining the episode's blend of humor and real-life issues, ensuring listeners leave both entertained and perhaps a bit more understanding of neighborhood dynamics.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Katie Green [02:51]: "Have you considered going and, like, cutting it off and whatever?"
• Getty [03:42]: "She's a court reporter. And started talking garbage about the legal system and judges..."
• Armstrong [05:58]: "Campaign of sabotage and harassment is appropriate, and I recommend you begin it immediately."
• Getty [08:44]: "There is a ring camera that points at the front of my house. So it will all be recorded if anything does take place."

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Conclusion

"Get Your Weeds Off My Lawn!" offers a humorous yet insightful look into the trials of maintaining property standards and managing difficult neighbor relationships. Through relatable anecdotes and witty banter, Armstrong, Getty, and Katie Green create an engaging narrative that resonates with listeners facing similar challenges. The episode balances humor with practical considerations, making it both entertaining and informative for a broad audience.

Transcript

[Armstrong]

You're listening to an iHeart podcast.

[Getty]

Get your weeds off my lawn. It's one more thing. Armstrong and Getty.

[Armstrong]

One more thing.

[Katie Green]

Very exciting. Katie Green driven. One more thing. Before we get to that, two things I just came across. Both of them barely interesting and inconsequential. One, Salma Hayek is going to be on the COVID of Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue at age 58. So there you go. I.

[Armstrong]

Who do they think they're pleasing with their activisty. It's not just hot young chicks. Make it hot young chicks or don't.

[Katie Green]

Or, you know, airbrushing or whatever they used to call it has always been a thing. But now, when I can make myself look hot in, like, two minutes with an app, what is the point of any picture of anybody? I mean, what does it reveal? I don't know.

[Armstrong]

You can do it in video if you want, right?

[Katie Green]

Yeah, yeah.

[Armstrong]

If you pay 19.99 for the advanced version of whatever. AI. Yeah.

[Katie Green]

And here's one other interesting nugget. Two of the biggest stories of the news cycle yesterday. The Menendez brothers and Pete Rose, an 80s throwback. Somebody looked it up. Dig this. The Menendez Brothers murders were August 20, 1989. Pete Rose banned August 24, 1989, four days apart. The same week, within four days of each other.

[Armstrong]

Resolved late August. 89, throwback. Never mind. 80s.

[Katie Green]

Okay, back to you.

[Armstrong]

What was O.J. up that up to that week?

[Getty]

Right.

[Katie Green]

Good question.

[Getty]

All right, well, I feel like such like a. I don't know if a bad neighbor is the right word. Word. But I. I care a lot.

[Armstrong]

I'll be the judge of that.

[Getty]

Okay? That's. That's why I'm bringing it to you guys.

[Katie Green]

I'm on your side.

[Getty]

Thanks. So I. I take really, really good care of our yard. That's kind of my job. I hang all the little lights. I take care of all the weeds. I do all of that stuff.

[Katie Green]

Okay?

[Getty]

So this weekend, I'm out in my front yard and my neighbor's house. Her front yard looks like that of a trap house. She just let it go. It looks like absolute garbage. And we do have a homeowners association around here, but I go over and I'm pulling the weeds. And I've noticed one of her weeds grew out of her yard into my front yard and wrapped itself around the base of this tree that I have. I was talking to my parents about this. My mom was like, gung ho. Call the hoa. See if you can do it anonymously. And my dad was like, don't be that dick.

[Armstrong]

So.

[Getty]

So I don't know.

[Katie Green]

Your dad, the judge.

[Getty]

Yeah, my dad was like, don't do that.

[Katie Green]

Not judgmental here.

[Getty]

Well, he was coming at the angle of, like, if somehow the. The woman next door was informed that it was me, it could cause a neighbor rift.

[Katie Green]

Had you considered going and, like, cutting it off and whatever?

[Getty]

No, I. I did.

[Katie Green]

Oh, you did?

[Getty]

I. I pulled it out. I actually did her a favor by pulling it. I went over the property line and pulled it out of her yard. But also, side note, have you considered.

[Katie Green]

Digging a pit with spikes at the bottom?

[Getty]

I thought about it after my first encounter with her because she's new, so my first encounter with this woman was not a delight. And then this is happening. So I don't know if I should just say screw it and go to the HOA because it really. It's. It's starting to. It's starting to piss me off.

[Katie Green]

Tell us more about your encounter with the woman.

[Getty]

Oh, good God.

[Katie Green]

So she comes off as the sort of person would have the yard. That's the sort of yard she has.

[Getty]

Yeah. Well, she. She started our relationship by coming over to let me know that I guess something had gone wrong with my sprinkler system, and there was some flooding that went into a certain part of her yard that she wasn't sure. Sure. So she called the city to look at our. Our. It was just this whole, like, why didn't you just come talk to me? We could have handled this, but she called the city and all of these other things, and then she went on to start talking. She's a court reporter. And started talking garbage about the legal system and judges, which, considering my dad does that, didn't. So it just kind of. And she's just a raging, smells like Berkeley liberal.

[Katie Green]

Oh, boy. This has the opportunity to become a real problem.

[Getty]

Yeah. And so I don't know if I want to poke the bear and take the chance that the HoA somehow spills the beans that I called on her, but I also want her to stop making my yard look like there's a squatter in the house.

[Armstrong]

Right, right, right. Because that does material damage to your property values.

[Getty]

Yeah. And I just. We just did a lot of work overhauling. This particularly happened in the front yard. But her. Her garbage is starting to grow through the fence in the back, and it's just like, okay, enough.

[Katie Green]

Yeah.

[Armstrong]

So do I have a neighborhood pariah who. Who brings everybody's property value down?

[Getty]

Right.

[Armstrong]

Usually the last people who would leave because, you know, they obviously have very low standards, so it's not like they're aspiring for vetter. No, they're living in their squalor.

[Getty]

She has one of those boho sheets covering the front window of her house. Oh, you know, the real classy look.

[Armstrong]

So sheet curtains.

[Getty]

Sheet curtains. Cheap and effective report. Yeah. She's a court reporter who thinks that we just send too many people to jail. And these judges are power hungry.

[Armstrong]

Oh, wow.

[Getty]

Oh, and I looked at her. I. I should win an award for the tongue biting that I did that day.

[Katie Green]

Wow. How long have you lived next to each other?

[Getty]

She moved in it. The. In the end of November, I believe, so not long. And this encounter, I mean, it just happened in February. I didn't see her or anything, and now she's just bugging the hell out of me.

[Katie Green]

Right.

[Armstrong]

Campaign of sabotage and harassment is appropriate, and I recommend you begin it immediately.

[Katie Green]

Even without any of the yard stuff, though, there's a real opportunity for you two to come to hate each other.

[Armstrong]

I'm thinking some sort of Rand Paul incident is going to happen.

[Getty]

Yeah.

[Armstrong]

Lawn clippings or something.

[Katie Green]

So you hadn't brought up the fact. Yeah, my dad was a judge and threw all those scumbags in jail because they deserved it.

[Getty]

Oh, I did say that. And then I went and purchased a we support our law enforcement lawn sign from Amazon and put that in the front.

[Katie Green]

Okay.

[Getty]

There you go.

[Katie Green]

Okay.

[Getty]

So you're doing. I'm doing a little bit, but certainly.

[Katie Green]

Not going passive on this.

[Armstrong]

Okay, well, yeah, you've gotten past that uncomfortable phase of, oh, my gosh, we're adversaries. So that's. It's good. It's efficient.

[Getty]

Yeah.

[Armstrong]

Now you can get onto the subterfuge and harassment.

[Getty]

Yeah.

[Katie Green]

Did she have a Biden Harris sign in her yard at any point?

[Getty]

No, she hasn't yet. But she. She drives a Subaru and she has dreadlocks.

[Katie Green]

Awesome.

[Armstrong]

Oh, boy. I saw a car the other day. It had a Biden Harris and a Harris waltz sticker. And look, you're a Democrat. That's fine. I understand. It takes all kinds to make the world go round. And they're, you know, we're a 50, 50 country. Blah. Doesn't shock me or horrify me that people vote Democrat. I don't, but go ahead. Uh, on the other hand, Harris walls, universally agreed upon as an embarrassment not only to the Democratic Party, but to democracy itself. And you go ahead and you keep that thing on into May of the next. Come on.

[Katie Green]

Based on what we know about this person. What do you think would be the most annoying thing you could do? Would it be a Trump sign? Would it be a Blue Lives Matter sign? Would it be a Maha sign? I have a feeling she really hates that sort of thing, so we.

[Getty]

I neglected the. I do also have a 4547 flag in front of my house as well, so we've got the Trump signs.

[Armstrong]

Pretty annoying. Yeah.

[Getty]

Yeah.

[Katie Green]

Something pro gun might really get her skin.

[Getty]

I also just put spotlights out in the front yard that point up at the trees because I love that look. I could take them all and just shine them right on her house because I'm sure the. The sheet curtain wouldn't block that out. I don't know.

[Katie Green]

I think this has potential to become something we get to talk about a lot, though. Yeah.

[Getty]

We share a driveway. I could line it with spikes.

[Katie Green]

You share a driveway? Awesome.

[Armstrong]

Yeah, let's. Let's stay on the high road. All right.

[Getty]

I have a dog. I can collect the droppings. Leave them.

[Armstrong]

So you. You share a driveway. Has she ever smeared, I don't know, mashed potatoes on your car and say, you drive in, you drive out.

[Katie Green]

Watch what you do.

[Getty]

It's a driveway.

[Armstrong]

Drive up.

[Getty]

That's what people do to their driveways.

[Katie Green]

You. Yeah, this. That sort of thing is coming with you and her, which is I'm very excited about.

[Getty]

Well, the good news for that is there is a ring camera that points at the front of my house. So it will all be recorded if anything does take place.

[Armstrong]

Yes. With a nice ang logo when it.

[Getty]

Goes viral, wearing my shirt.

[Katie Green]

This is a good setup, Katie. For future episodes, I'm sure.

[Getty]

Oh, good.

[Armstrong]

Hey, I'm excited. I'm back here, really enjoying this. Well, I guess that's it. You're listening to an I Heart podcast.