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Chelsea Handler
This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human hey, this is US Olympic gold medalist Tara Davis Woodhull and I'm US Paralympic gold medalist Hunter Woodhull. As athletes, our lives are about having a clear path and a team that.
Jack Armstrong
You can absolutely trust.
Chelsea Handler
So when it came to getting the best mortgage, we chose PennyMac. PennyMac is proud to be the official mortgage provider of Team USA and you.
Joe Getty
Learn more at pennymac.com PennyMac Loan Services, LLC equal housing lender NMLS ID 35953 licensed by the Department of Financial Protection and Innovation under the California Res Residential Mortgage Lending Act. Conditions and restrictions may apply.
Chelsea Handler
There's a fire inside you you can't ignore. Stand still. Not a chance. You're a lifelong learner who's come this far. Now we are here to help you keep going further. Capella University what can't you do? Visit capella.edu to learn more. This is Chelsea Handler from Dear Chelsea, I have some very exciting news about an ethical phone carrier. I just switched to Forget about all these other phone companies. Forget about Verizon, forget about AT&T, forget about T Mobile. There's this new carrier called Noble Mobile and they actually pay you to stay off your phone. You can earn real money, up to 20 bucks back every month just for putting your phone away. If you're like me and you're tired of feeling controlled by your phone, social media, or just disgusted by those screen time alerts, this is the answer. Go to noblemobile.com Chelsea and try it for $10. That's noblemobile.com Chelsea this message comes from Greenlight. Ready to start talking to your kids about financial literacy? Meet Greenlight, the debit card and money app that teaches kids and teens how to earn, save, spend wisely and invest. With your guardrails in place. With Greenlight, you can send money to kids quickly, set up chores automate allowance, and keep an eye on what your kids are spending with real time notifications. Join millions of parents and kids building healthy financial habits together on Greenlight. Get started risk free@greenlight.com iheart broadcasting live.
Jack Armstrong
From the Abraham Lincoln Radio studio at.
Joe Getty
The George Washington Broadcast, Jack Armstrong and Joe Getty. Armstrong and Getty. And now here's Armstrong and Getty. A British inventor says his tricked out trash can that broke the Guinness World Record for the fastest wheelie bin can now reach a speed of 66 miles per hour. And it's convenient because if he hits so much as a pebble the highway, they can just close the lid and he's ready for Burial.
Jack Armstrong
Trash bin that goes 60 some miles an hour. Set a record. There you go. Different. Different people have different hobbies. You decide, you know what I'm going to do. Good for you. You're probably happier than me. You found a goal in life, you've accomplished it. I've accomplished none of my goals.
Joe Getty
Do you figure he came to it through a passion for trash bins, Passion for speed, passion for wheelies? Did he say wheelie?
Scott Besant
Trash.
Jack Armstrong
Speaking of trash, you know what I realized the other day? This is obvious, but it never occurred to me when I take out the trash, which I now have my son doing at a chore. But when I take out the trash, I think, God, it seems like. I mean, it seems like I'm doing this every other day as opposed to once a week that it's trash day. But it never occurred to me before you take the trash out one day, bring it in the next day, that's.
Joe Getty
Two days out of seven.
Jack Armstrong
It's twice as often as I'm dealing with trash as I'd ever. I've always thought of trash day being. Why is one day out of the week seem like it's so often, but it's actually twice as much as I thought. So that maybe that explains it as.
Joe Getty
You gotta wheel it out. Are you wheel it out to the curb neighborhood or.
Jack Armstrong
Yeah.
Joe Getty
Is that what you're talking about?
Jack Armstrong
Yeah, yeah. Gotta take it out there. Then three different trucks come by. For some reason, somebody's getting paid. Any who. We have some breaking news. Kind of. Attorney General Pam Bondi has announced that the lady that led the disruption of those church services Sunday morning in Minneapolis has been arrested.
Joe Getty
Good.
Jack Armstrong
Civil rights violation. So, yeah, I agree. Good. So let's get it on.
Joe Getty
Let's discuss that we start letting people bully their way into church services to get publicity.
Jack Armstrong
Never end.
Joe Getty
Oh, and the ugliness. And people will righteously and appropriately decide now we're not going to let that happen anymore.
Jack Armstrong
And then.
Joe Getty
Oh, so ugly.
Jack Armstrong
And if they could arrest Don Lemon as a national disgrace of some sort, I don't. Is that a crime?
Joe Getty
But oh yeah. We actually have a heavily Don Lemon seasoned segment coming up at some point today in which we are going to try him and convict him of being a disease and bury him. In other words, never bring him up again. Because I. There's part of me that hates to even mention is his publicity hoe. Disgusting, sick, no moral name.
Jack Armstrong
So I don't know if you know any of this about polling, but the New York Times Siena poll is a Big deal. They spend tons of money on this. They only do it a couple of times a year. So they put out lots of polls, you know, weekly polls, like lots of new, but they do this really big one a couple of times a year and it usually gets a lot of attention because people have the feeling that over years it is proven to be methodically accurate. They make good effort there. So anywho, the headline being that few voters say Trump's second term has made the country better. I like to put this in larger context, like I said last hour, is that the same people felt the same way about Biden and now they feel that way about Trump and in Europe they feel that way about their leaders and they keep going back and forth, party to party for whatever reason. Western civilization's just not happy with their governments, rightly or wrongly. But for all people, on the question of from a year ago, because yesterday was the one year anniversary of Trump being the President of the United States of America, is your, is the country better off about the same or worse off? Do you want to answer how you'd answer?
Joe Getty
Oh gosh, I was waiting to hear your wisdom. I wasn't really thinking.
Jack Armstrong
Would you like to hear what other people think before you give your answer?
Joe Getty
Well, that makes me sound like a conformist.
Jack Armstrong
I, that's not exactly your vibe.
Joe Getty
Hey, Michael, I'm going to anger Jack here, so enjoy the fireworks.
Scott Besant
Oh boy.
Joe Getty
The answer is going to pick some nits. The answer is both that that's not an option. Significantly better in some regards and worse than others.
Jack Armstrong
So would you just tell it? Spit on the pollster and kick him in the shin and off or just refuse to participate or what? They didn't give you just a two.
Joe Getty
Hand shove right in the middle of the chest.
Jack Armstrong
They didn't give you that option. You don't get to write an essay. It's either worse off, better off or about the same. If you're going to answer the question.
Joe Getty
That'S a poll for dumb people. I won't. I won't.
Jack Armstrong
Okay, well, if I'm given those three choices, I, I, I would go better.
Joe Getty
Off because I, a year ago today.
Jack Armstrong
I think closing the border and getting rid of all that DEI stuff and taking on a lot of the craziest stuff that came out of, you know, that whole 2020-2023 period was so huge for the country, I'd go better off versus, I mean the tariff stuff. Nutty. Lots of things are nutty.
Joe Getty
Sure, yeah.
Jack Armstrong
But I still got one.
Joe Getty
Must take a moment to remind oneself that we were under the tutelage of a senile, just empty husk of a man who's never had any beliefs and whose brain wasn't functioning and the country was actually being run by a cabal of far left academic fruit nuts who thought the craziest crap. Yeah, it's chaotic, but there's a lot that's moving in the right direction.
Jack Armstrong
So anyway, here's what Americans think. About half say worse off. Almost exactly the number that voted for Kamala Harris, 49% say worse off, for better off. It's 32%. About the same 19%. I kind of feel like you about the same people are wishy washy.
Joe Getty
You're very judgmental.
Jack Armstrong
You break it down by Democrats, Republicans and independents. I don't know, is anybody need that? It's about exactly what you would think.
Joe Getty
Yeah.
Jack Armstrong
Different number. Do you approve or disapprove of the way Donald Trump is handling these different things? And he's upside down on all of them. He's up upside down his job as president and he's got a 40% approval, 56% disapprove. His disapprove has been climbing. He used to be a fair number of wishy washy in betweens. No matter what his approval rating was, there's almost no in betweens now. That's almost completely disappeared. It's 56 disapproved, 40% approved. But we've gone through several cycles of presidents with that border. This one is on the right side of barely 50% approve, 46 disapprove on the border. How do you possibly disapprove of what's been doing on the border? That's got to be people who are extrapolating that into the way ICE is handling things and they feel like they've.
Joe Getty
Gone so far with that.
Jack Armstrong
Because if you're just going with the border, you're nuts if you think it's not better.
Joe Getty
Well, yeah, and you're right. On the other hand, you could word it that. That's a measure of what enormous damage the overreach and the overzealousness has done to the administration standing.
Jack Armstrong
I won't hit all these, just the ones I think are interesting.
Joe Getty
Venice, you often will say stuff like, well, it doesn't matter if it's right or wrong. If the people believe it, that's going to change the politics and blah, blah, blah. So it's, and it's, you know, it may be the perfect example of a Trump baketh his own cake and then craps on it.
Jack Armstrong
Is that a Shakespeare or is that in the Bible?
Joe Getty
Shakespeare. Was that Paul Shakespeare quoting the Bible? The Bible. It's a perfect example of the Trump experience.
Jack Armstrong
Did he write, was that in his.
Joe Getty
Letter to the Galatians, he briefly mentioned.
Jack Armstrong
It, bakes his cake and then craps on it?
Joe Getty
Yes, yes. He may have said unleavened bread, but it was the same principle.
Jack Armstrong
Thou wast defecate. It might have been fancier words, but it's the same Venezuela.
Joe Getty
Dost thou defecate on thine bread after baking it exquisitely? What's thine story? Why can't thine stop when thine is I? When thou ist a head, writeth the.
Jack Armstrong
Prophet, why dost thou step on one's own genitalia? Exactly.
Joe Getty
Exactly. The question the theologians are asking.
Jack Armstrong
Venezuela's upside down. 53, 41. I thought that was more popular than that. At least in this poll. It's not immigration in general.
Joe Getty
You know, I think that probably relates, Jack, to the. The anecdote I said described yesterday about a friend who deals with athletes. And one of the athletes is from Venezuela, and a couple of people on campus have apologized to her for what the United States did, and she's like, what? What are you talking about, guys? A brutal dictator. It's the best thing that's ever happened to us. So there are a hell of a lot of people who are coming at it from the, you know, their tick tock news feed said it was a monstrous and horrible thing to do. You can't hate them for that.
Jack Armstrong
That's all they get now. Yeah, I'm almost nice if you could run all these issues through the filter of if 98% of the media wasn't telling you One direction, what would your view be?
Joe Getty
Which is one of the reasons that I'm much more enthusiastic about outreach. Outreach to people who never get the full picture, as opposed to just constantly berating people who think differently than me. I would much rather be speaking to the Apostle Paul. I want to go into the territories and talk to the people and say, hey, have you ever considered this? I'll probably end up getting hanged upside down and become a martyr. But you know what I'm saying, A lot of these people just never hear the other point of view.
Jack Armstrong
Maybe we can get some of these other issues later, but I'll hit you with the two big ones that really got him elected. Well, the third, immigration. He's upside down. 5840. That's got to be all the ice thing, but that's what he Ran on closing the border and he got the border closed. The economy though, that's what a lot of people were voting on. Just flat out the price of groceries, rent, etc. Hoping that it would be better with a new president. Upside down. 58, 40. I mean an 18 point spread there. And on the cost of living, it's 64 to 34. Upside down. Negative.
Joe Getty
That's brutal.
Jack Armstrong
Yeah, that is. It's hard to win with those numbers. Whether it's your fault or not or rightly or wrongly or whatever, if people feel that way about the cost of living, you're in bad shape.
Joe Getty
But look, I like had a minor in economics decades ago and I would have been delighted to tell the administration, look, here's your challenge. We can't get most prices to come come down. It's just not going to happen. So they'll either remain high or even with inflation at a manageable level, they'll keep getting a little bit higher. We've got a message hard and help people understand what's happening so we don't get blamed. They're just terrible at that.
Jack Armstrong
And one more stupid one. The Epstein files.
Joe Getty
The birthday cake gets crapped on again.
Jack Armstrong
The Epstein files upside down by 44, 66 to 22. And you know, we know from the text and emails we get following Twitter and everything out that that's a lot of Republicans too. There's a lot of Democrats that don't like the Epstein file situation and a lot of Republicans that I know who think that the Bondi and Trump are hiding something or whatever. I don't, I'm not with that crowd. But maybe later we'll get into the Is Donald Trump one of the best presidents in U.S. history? Worst presidency history, blah, blah, blah. What a dumb question to ask in the middle of a term. One year into a term gets clicks. It does. We got more on the way. Stay here.
Joe Getty
Armstrong and Getty.
Chelsea Handler
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Joe Getty
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Chelsea Handler
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Joe Getty
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Chelsea Handler
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Joe Getty
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Chelsea Handler
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Jack Armstrong
See ahs.com contracts for coverage details including limit amounts, fees, limitations and exclusions.
Joe Getty
Five of the biggest alcohol makers in the world are sitting on what's described as a lake of unsold alcohol. $22 billion worth of inventory, according to the Financial Times, a result of people drinking less than they used to. And to think there's still a week to go in dry January.
Jack Armstrong
A lake of unsold alcohol.
Joe Getty
Oh, I'm buying a cabin at Booze Lake. Tell you what.
Jack Armstrong
Booze Lake.
Joe Getty
Oh yeah, I'll be there.
Jack Armstrong
Get you a canoe. And you know what? You stand up on purpose. You want it to flip or you.
Joe Getty
Should bring a scooper with you. Although it would probably be like an unholy mix of like vodka and rum and scotch. Like, did you like a Long island iced tea?
Jack Armstrong
Did you ever watch that series on Netflix, Last man on Earth? Everybody died but him.
Joe Getty
I watched a couple of episodes.
Jack Armstrong
It's kind of interesting. It's psychology of human nature. I mean, like at first it was really funny. I was doing everything you'd want to do and everything in the world. Then it got really lonely and boring and unfulfilling very quickly. But in the first episode, he fills a kiddie pool with tequila and he's laying it and he's got a straw on the side of his mouth. He just leans over and drinks while he's laying in the kiddie pool filled with tequila. So that's what booze like would be like. So are people really drinking that much?
Joe Getty
Less that? Yeah, yeah. I Believe so.
Jack Armstrong
Why, I guess is the question. Studies keep showing that people are drinking a lot less. What's the why is it hell?
Joe Getty
Oh, my gosh, I wish I knew. Yeah, that's part of it.
Jack Armstrong
Are they smoking more dope? 38 states allow you to smoke dope legally.
Joe Getty
Thank you. Yeah. I think if you were to look at the cohort of people who used to and don't anymore, or would have and don't, you're gonna find three or different explanations. Katie, I don't know how, how big.
Chelsea Handler
Of an impact this would have, but.
Joe Getty
The weight loss, drugs make you not want alcohol. Yes, interesting. Yeah, that's got to be one of the reasons.
Jack Armstrong
Yeah, I quit drinking 20 years ago. I think I probably by myself affected the statistics. So that's something.
Joe Getty
Yeah, I think it's generalized, concerned about health. That what Katie said, people are smoking more pot. And then I, I came across a really persuasive essay by a brilliant writer, I wish I could remember who, suggesting that people are so afraid of being out of control, they're just, they're so anxious and so lonely and, and isolated and online and everything. Going out with their friends and hooting and hollering and having a couple of drinks, just not part of their lives.
Jack Armstrong
Wow. But sitting at home and smoking pot would be that. That's a safer alternative.
Joe Getty
Yeah.
Jack Armstrong
Yeah. Interesting. Times change. Bill O'Reilly says he's stepping back from media appearances due to malady and didn't say what. He's 76 years old, got some sort of health problem. So wish the west for best for Bill O'Reilly. Always liked his. Well, mostly liked his hack. The last time he was on our show, he wouldn't let me talk, so we haven't had him on since. But in general, over the years, like to act.
Joe Getty
Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's an interesting character.
Jack Armstrong
Body language segment.
Joe Getty
Oh, boy. Oh, is there other than dream interpretation? Maybe the phone? Well, it's not completely phony. I guess somebody sitting there leaning forward, their shoulders hunched in their red face with their jaw set, you can probably assume they're pissed off. But. Oh, speaking of dream interpretation, did I actually tell you about the recurring dream I keep having? So weird. And this one, this is not one.
Jack Armstrong
Of those long, rambling dreams.
Joe Getty
It's always the same. I'm on the road, I'm traveling for a week for business. Kind of your standard low impact, you know, in a hotel suite or whatever. Week. But I'm not going home after the week. I'm going to China for a week. And A half to two weeks. And I'm dealing with the logistics of. All right, do I have enough clothes? Do I have the right clothes? Oh, my gosh, my passport. I do have my passport because I'm gonna be in China for two weeks. And it's always the same damn thing.
Jack Armstrong
You have a recurring dream about going to China. The minutiae of the schlep, the logistics of it.
Joe Getty
Yeah. And it's always, I'm already traveling and.
Jack Armstrong
Then I'm going to China.
Joe Getty
Same plot.
Jack Armstrong
That's not a fun China. It's not a fun dream at all. You don't know why there are no orgasms.
Joe Getty
One dream, I actually was in China and was going into some store thinking, all right, I need some clean underwear and maybe a bottle of scotch to wind down with. And I'm looking around at all the Chinese, you know, words. And I'm thinking, what the hell? This is too stressful.
Jack Armstrong
We very odd interpret it mailbag@armstrongandgetti.com I think you're pregnant.
Joe Getty
We.
Jack Armstrong
We played this yesterday late in the show. The treasury secretary take going after Gavin Newsom for a variety of reasons. We ought to play it again because it's pretty good.
Joe Getty
Armstrong and Getty.
Chelsea Handler
This is Chelsea Handler from Dear Chelsea, I have some very exciting news about an ethical phone carrier. I just switched to forget about all these other phone companies. Forget about Verizon, forget about AT&T. Forget about T Mobile. There's this new carrier called Noble Mobile and they actually pay you to stay off your phone. You can earn real money, up to 20 bucks back every month just for putting your phone away. If you're like me and you're tired of feeling controlled by your phone, social media, or just disgusted by those screen time alerts, this is the answer. Go to noblemobile.com Chelsea and try it for $10. That's noblemobile.com Chelsea so this first thing.
Jack Armstrong
We played yesterday, but a lot of you didn't hear it. And it's one of those things that even if you did hear it, you're going to want to hear it again. The Secretary of the treasury, which is usually held by somebody who's just dry.
Joe Getty
As the Sahara desert and restrained and careful for good reason. Yeah.
Jack Armstrong
Not somebody to want to hang out with at a party.
Joe Getty
Right.
Jack Armstrong
But this Besant guy is interesting. He's the one that at a dinner party last year threatened to effing punch a dude in the effing face in front of. In front of 30 other people.
Joe Getty
He's trying to undermine him to the President. He's called him out.
Jack Armstrong
And I like to mention this every time, he is openly gay, but never, ever gets mentioned because he's not a Democrat. The first openly gay Secretary of the Treasury. No, no, no, no. Those things only count and are held up as very important, which it's not if you're a Democrat.
Joe Getty
Correct. Compare the the enthusiastic reportage on Scott Besant and his orientation versus, say, kjp. It's hilarious. Back to you.
Jack Armstrong
Ridiculous. Anywho, here's what he had to say about Gavin Newsom, who was scheduled to speak today at Davos and then it got canceled. More on that later. But here's the Treasury Secretary.
Scott Besant
I think it's very, very ironic that you know, Governor Newsom, who strikes me as Patrick Bateman meets Sparkle beach kin, may be the only Californian who knows less about economics. And Kamala Harris, he's here this week with his billionaire sugar daddy, Alex Soros. And the Davos is a perfect place for a man who, when everyone else was on lockdown, when he was having people arrested for going to church, he was having thousand dollar a night meals at the French Laundry. And I'm sure the California people won't forget that.
Jack Armstrong
So why is he getting in Gavin Newsom's shorts? Davos.
Joe Getty
Well, an unfortunate metaphor. Newsom had been invited to speak yesterday at an event sponsored by USA House, which for the first time was recognized by the US Government as the country's official headquarters at Davos, whatever the hell that means. But at the last ish minute, an organizer told Gavi's office that we've decided not to include any US officials or we're gonna focus on CEOs and business leaders.
Jack Armstrong
They canceled the governor of the California fifth biggest economy in the world. Who is there specifically to. I. I said earlier in the week, and I think it would have been true, the biggest speech perhaps of his life, of his running for president career thus far.
Joe Getty
Yes.
Jack Armstrong
He was gonna badmouth Trump in front of all the world leaders. They were gonna cheer him like crazy. It was gonna be huge for him. And Trump said, how about he doesn't.
Joe Getty
Oh, no, no, no, that's incorrect. USA House said we haven't uninvited Newsom or acted under any political imperative. It was an oversight or something. Gavi is not buying it.
Jack Armstrong
The Treasury Secretary was not done. Here he goes.
Scott Besant
My message to Governor Newsom is the Trump administration is coming to California. We are going to crack down on waste, fraud and abuse. And I was told he was asked to give a speech on his signature policies. But he's not speaking because what have his economic policies brought? Outward migration from California, a gigantic budget deficit, the largest homeless population in America, and the poor folks in the Palisades who had their homes burned down. He is here hobnobbing with the global elite while his California citizens are still homeless. Shame on him. He is too smug, too self absorbed and too economically illiterate to know anything.
Joe Getty
Thank you very much.
Scott Besant
Let me know if you need any further clarification.
Jack Armstrong
Oof.
Joe Getty
Maybe you should go and speak as a cautionary tale to others.
Jack Armstrong
So why are they taking on Gavin like that though? Trump's not going to run against Gavin in 28.
Joe Getty
The Republicans are going to run against Gavin in 28. And they anticipated that gabby boy would take to the rostrum there in Davos and just blast the crap out of Trump.
Jack Armstrong
So they wanted to get ahead of it.
Joe Getty
Ahead of it. But then evidently, I don't know, somebody decided, yeah, Besant was hilarious and effective and that was a great takedown, but let's just not let him speak at all. Allegedly.
Jack Armstrong
Here we have Gavin explaining what he thinks happened.
Joe Getty
I was going to speak last night. It was well established event at the USA House. Simple conversation, discussion after Trump's speech. They made sure that I didn't. They made sure it was canceled. And that's what's happening in the United States of America. Freedom of expression, freedom of assembly, freedom of speech. It's America in reverse. Freedom of a holes to speak in Switzerland. I mean, come on. Obviously they did kneecap the guy. I mean, it's hilarious. USA House saying what? No, we didn't uninvite anybody. Of course you did. Canceled.
Jack Armstrong
There's no constitutional amendment for Beauthe to speak in foreign soil.
Joe Getty
Read the first Amendment, you butts. Anyway, well, you know what?
Jack Armstrong
He's.
Joe Getty
He's been begging for a game of hardball at the highest level to elevate himself as the great crusader against the Trump administration. Now he's got it.
Jack Armstrong
I apologize. That was not dignified commentary.
Joe Getty
So great commentary.
Jack Armstrong
This has been making the rounds on TikTok, I guess, mocking Gavin for a stance he claimed to have.
Joe Getty
Not one person ever in my office has ever used the word Latinx.
Jack Armstrong
So can we finally put that to bed?
Joe Getty
But where did that even.
Jack Armstrong
No more Latinx, everybody.
Joe Getty
Well, I just didn't even know where it came from. And like, what are people talking about? Impactful. This has been on the Latinx community. Latinx community. Politicians that are banning. Not assault rifles, but the word Latinx. Nothing I dislike more than the politician that sits there and lies to you. And we all just sit there rolling our eyes going, give me a break. That was the Gavin Newsom biography in 28 seconds.
Jack Armstrong
Wow.
Joe Getty
That's all you need to know.
Jack Armstrong
I didn't know that he used to use the term. I assumed that. But he not only used the term, apparently at one point he lectured people who were trying to stop the term. Yeah, yeah.
Joe Getty
It's like his stance on boys competing in girls sports. He doesn't even attempt to remain consistent or form arguments like a normal person. He just babbles out phrases, sounds aggrieved, and then, like nobody has any memory, he goes on to the next thing and says something completely different.
Jack Armstrong
It would be nice if that's a criticizable deficit at this point in our politics and history. But I think he understands where we are, just like Trump understands where we are and the way things work in the modern world. Nobody is ever going to hear any of that. He used to say Latinx stuff. Unless you're already against him. Just the way their algorithms work in the media flows. So you can say Trump was the first one to discover this, I think, but Gavin knows you can say anything you want to your crowd. And no, they're never going to hear the pushback on it.
Joe Getty
That's just the way our media works now out there, the better, because the further out there it is, the stronger indication it is that I'm in your tribe.
Jack Armstrong
I mean, this gets what I said hour one, where I'm getting so discouraged on when I hear a story, I think, wow, that's really troubling. But it might not be true, and it may be true, and I'm not going to take the time to figure it out. So, I mean, I mean, that's just where we are.
Joe Getty
Yeah, Gavin's an a hole, but he's not a fool. And if you could, I don't know, treat him to a nice dinner at the French Laundry or something like that. We had an early dinner.
Jack Armstrong
It was early.
Joe Getty
Oh, my God. I thought it was like a 7 o' clock reservation. I'm sorry, I retract the criticism. Anyway, if you were to get him to speak to you honestly, he'd say, oh, yeah, yeah, I deny him for these things when I'm talking to critical folks, moderate and conservative folks, but then I affirm that I'm for them when I'm talking to progressive people. Yeah, that's exactly what I do.
Jack Armstrong
So we should get into the phrase catch of the day, decide whether or not we think that's out of bounds.
Joe Getty
Catch of the day. Good lord.
Jack Armstrong
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Joe Getty
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Joe Getty
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Jack Armstrong
DHS is going big in Maine right now. I didn't know we had that many illegal immigrants in Maine, but. Oh my God. Yeah, so they started doing this thing called catch of the day where the. The ended because, you know, they, they fish up there.
Joe Getty
Oh, right. And that's like a name for a special food at a restaurant that serves fish. Catch of the day.
Jack Armstrong
Oh, so they're using that play on the words for at the end of the day, they'll say, here's the ice. Catch of the day. We caught this guy. He's a convicted pedophile with 13 drunk drivings or whatever it is, but they've compared him to a fish Jack.
Joe Getty
That's just offensive. Catch of the day.
Jack Armstrong
Here's one of those personality tests you can do. You're either highly offended by that and like, you know, it hurts your soul or you think kind of funny, who cares? Seems like a good idea. Like I do.
Joe Getty
All right, we won't call it the catch of the day. How about the scoop du jour? No, no, it's just a slightly different phrase.
Jack Armstrong
Or here's the worst person we caught today to give you an idea of who's hanging out and would continue to hang out if ICE didn't go in and get them. No, no, I'm not for grabbing US citizens and making know go through the hoops if we're doing. Indeed.
Joe Getty
No indeed. On the other hand, I'd like to thank the folks who are pretending to be offended by catch of the day for amusing me so much. Catch of the day. We all need a lift now and again. Oh, speaking of animals, we've got to pay off the cow that uses tools.
Jack Armstrong
Good Lord.
Joe Getty
Veronica. The cow is working the chimps territory now. It's a shocking breakthrough or something.
Jack Armstrong
Yeah, cows are using tools people. Lock your doors. Okay, so we got more on the way. Stay here.
Joe Getty
Armstrong and Getty.
Jack Armstrong
Reason magazine is a libertarian outfit, correct?
Joe Getty
Reason.com yeah.
Jack Armstrong
Reason.com yeah magazine. They've got off my lawn. They got a piece today about a woman who's 6 year old was out riding his scooter a third of a mile from home.
Joe Getty
What would that be?
Jack Armstrong
Two blocks at a playground. A stranger reported it to child services. And now this mom needs to have people coming into the home from the state to keep an eye on her because she let her kid go to the park.
Joe Getty
Good lord.
Jack Armstrong
I want to talk about that a little bit more later. I mean that is means something bigger culturally I think.
Joe Getty
But speaking of the youngsters, more and more folks noticing the Mississippi Miracle or the Mississippi Marathon in which that beleaguered southern state has completely turned around its education system by ignoring everything the big teachers unions has been advocating. It is to the extent that you go 180 degrees in the other direction that you and your schools and your children will be successful. We will fill in those blanks and show you the evidence. Also, the Chinese are spying like crazy in Taiwan and really infiltrating that poor. Speaking of beleaguered places. Beleaguered island nation that that report coming up as well. But first and more importantly, this may prove that cows are way smarter than we thought. Veronica the cow using a tool to scratch her back. It looks like the study's author said this marks the first time on record that a mammal that wasn't a primate has been documented using a tool. Really? First, first question. NBC News sent Tom Yamas spelled exactly the same as llamas to report on a cow.
Jack Armstrong
I don't think that's significant.
Joe Getty
He has the name of a hoofed creature. Is that why, that's like. Whenever the Asian people were mad at us, they'd send an Asian reporter. If we said something provocative about welfare programs in black neighborhoods, they'd send a black reporter to talk about what bad fellows we are. It's just a thing. Anyway, back to the cow.
Jack Armstrong
That's the first documented case of anything other than primates using a tool. I gotta bring that up to my son. He's super into this sort of thing. I think he would say no. There's like, eight other things I can think of that use tools in a variety of ways.
Joe Getty
Yeah, that's correct. I know. Anteaters will put a stick in their mouth and stick the stick down into the ant hole and. And drop bunches of ants on the stick. Ants on a stick. Delicious. So that's an overstatement by these soft heads in the network news.
Jack Armstrong
South American moles use typewriters, for instance.
Joe Getty
Surprising. So Veronica's an Austrian cow. As a matter of fact. Ina Kalb. I believe when she has an itch, she scratches it by expertly wielding a stick. But now, in a new study, Veronica's demonstrating even more advanced scratching skills. Deploying different ends of a wooden broom to different. Different parts of her body to target different parts of her body. It's an example of flexible tool use, a behavior that is relatively rare in the animal kingdom.
Jack Armstrong
Okay, that might be a different category of tool use than the other examples that exist out there, because that's. That's some. You know, that requires some. Should I not be eating hamburgers? If a cow can think through, I think I'll use the pointy end of the stick for this itch. But for this itch, I think the round end of the stick would work better. I mean, that sort of thinking. I don't know if I should be eating you deliciously medium rare, like I do.
Joe Getty
I am slightly cautious that there may be an element of that in this, because this doctor who's studying Veronica, the cow, says that it doesn't matter.
Jack Armstrong
I don't care if they can recite Shakespeare, I'm still gonna eat them.
Joe Getty
I mean, that would make you a monster.
Jack Armstrong
I was kidding.
Joe Getty
But the doctor says that should give us some pause and perhaps also motivate us to look at livestock animals differently. I think we should eat more, keep them in control.
Jack Armstrong
Exactly. Let them know who's boss. If Hereford cattle could drive cars and recite Shakespeare, I'd still eat them. So, you know, come on. I'm not pretending that.
Joe Getty
Yeah, yeah. I think there may be a little activism Here, but could be. Well, the more I read, the New York Times, in contrast to the NBC News, has actually quite a long article about this. Far too long, honestly.
Jack Armstrong
As long as cows been doing their cow thing around people, how is this the first time we've ever discovered their tool use?
Joe Getty
I don't know. They say one difference may be that this cow is a pet and not a production animal. So it has time to enlarge its, you know, enrich itself and read the great books and come up with novel uses for sticks.
Jack Armstrong
Read the great books?
Joe Getty
Yeah. I don't know.
Jack Armstrong
I learned this from Thucydides. He's the sharp end of the stick. And he got an itch on your rump. You got a bad itch.
Joe Getty
He used the sharp end of the stick.
Jack Armstrong
Which by the way is the most delicious part of me.
Joe Getty
Unfortunately. Yes.
Jack Armstrong
Good news, bad news for me. I can now itch my rub. Bad news, it's delicious.
Joe Getty
Speaking of stupidity, I mentioned this in the very beginning of the show that some New York PD detectives had to go to the hospital because they were arresting a really bad guy who fought him and hurt a couple of the cops. They go to the hospital and hospital staff were nasty to them in the waiting room, accused them of being ICE officers and suggested why don't you go somewhere else? So they properly identified themselves and the New York PD is obviously off about this. The commissioners insisting all hospital staff be retrained, blah, blah, blah. This is my favorite part. The hospital blamed. Where is the phrase? Oh, the hospital said the hospital staff had a misunderstanding of their policy. Oh, so we're not supposed to berate cops when they show up and tell them to get the hell out and go somewhere else because we hate them. Deny. Keep getting that wrong.
Jack Armstrong
Deny the medical care. We will give medical care to anybody from any country who's done anything at by law at taxpayers expense. Right, but now we won't help out the cops who are enforcing federal immigration law where we are with ice. Kind of reminds me of the whole I was too young for this. I've only read about it and seen it in documentaries back, back when, you know, hippies used to call cops pigs and stuff like that, breaking up their parties.
Joe Getty
Yeah, yeah. Oh, that reminds me. Great, great stuff from the fabulous Nellie Bowles. Have you noticed how the spectacular, horrifying, sickening police violence in Iran is completely uncommented on by the left in America? They got nothing to say. It's almost as if their principles are fake. They just pretend to have them to get revolution going. We will discuss that as well. Stay with us.
Jack Armstrong
Yeah, that's an interesting topic.
Joe Getty
Break.
Jack Armstrong
We do a lot of segments. A lot of them are interesting. Some of them aren't. But the ones that are, you should listen to in the podcast Armstrong and Getty on Demand.
Joe Getty
Armstrong and Getty.
Chelsea Handler
This is an I heart podcast, guaranteed human.
Episode: He Bakes His Cake & Craps On It
Date: January 22, 2026
Host: Armstrong & Getty (Jack Armstrong & Joe Getty)
Network: iHeartPodcasts
This episode features Armstrong & Getty's signature blend of wit and sharp commentary as they dissect the week's headlines, national politics, polling, and cultural quirks. The episode’s main focus is a deep dive into recent polling on the Trump administration’s popularity at the one-year mark, the political tussling around California Gov. Gavin Newsom’s blocked speech at Davos, shifting cultural habits (like drinking less alcohol), and a hilarious detour into the intellectual potential of cows. Woven throughout are moments of mockery, candor, and frustrated social commentary, retaining the hosts’ irreverent and conversational tone.
[02:04-03:08]
[03:08-03:53]
[03:53-04:39]
[04:39-05:12]
[05:12-14:15]
[16:08-18:51]
[21:50-28:54]
[31:47-33:03]
[33:22-38:43]
[33:37-34:05]
[34:13-40:46]
Don Lemon, “disease” segment preview:
“We are going to try him and convict him of being a disease and bury him. In other words, never bring him up again.”
— Joe Getty [04:44]
On polling’s lack of nuance:
“That’s a poll for dumb people. I won’t.”
— Joe Getty [07:03]
On Trump’s contradictions:
“It may be the perfect example of a Trump baketh his own cake and then craps on it.”
— Joe Getty [09:47]
Satirical Shakespeare/Bible riff:
“Dost thou defecate on thine bread after baking it exquisitely?”
— Joe Getty [10:31]
On modern partisanship & media bubbles:
“Nobody is ever going to hear any of that…Just the way their algorithms work…”
— Jack Armstrong [28:54]
On offense at “Catch of the Day” by ICE:
“I'd like to thank the folks who are pretending to be offended by 'catch of the day' for amusing me so much.”
— Joe Getty [33:03]
On political hypocrisy (Newsom/LGBT status):
“He is openly gay, but never ever gets mentioned because he’s not a Democrat.”
— Jack Armstrong [22:26]
On animal intelligence activism:
“I don’t care if they can recite Shakespeare, I’m still gonna eat them.”
— Jack Armstrong [37:26]
Recurring Dream Detour:
Joe describes a recurring dream involving stressful international travel to China, leading to lighthearted dream analysis.
“You have a recurring dream about going to China. The minutiae of the schlep, the logistics of it.” — Jack [20:17]
On letting kids roam free:
“A stranger reported [a 6-year-old riding a scooter] to child services…now this mom needs to have people coming into the home…”
— Jack Armstrong [33:43]
Closing Cultural Observations:
Armstrong & Getty end by tying these threads together, lamenting the state of truth, trust, and common sense in media and American civic life.
The hosts’ tone remains irreverent, sardonic, and conversational throughout, with blunt assessments and sharp asides. Their interplay is marked by sarcasm, mockery, and genuine exasperation with American media and politics—balanced by comedic detours and pop culture references.
This episode delivers Armstrong & Getty’s trademark mix: hard-hitting and playful, the hosts riff on news and politics with skepticism, humor, and an eye for cultural absurdities. From polling and policy to cows and catch phrases, the show offers both insightful analysis and comedic relief—perfect for listeners wanting both news and a laugh.