Armstrong & Getty On Demand – "He Couldn't Get Wood In The Forest"

Date: March 12, 2026
Hosts: Jack Armstrong & Joe Getty (with Katie Green)
Podcast Network: iHeartPodcasts

Episode Overview

This episode features Armstrong and Getty’s signature mix of sharp political and cultural commentary, humorous banter, and skeptical takes on current events. The hosts discuss increased tensions at the Strait of Hormuz, the state of TV news and media consumption, the evolution of luxury spending among the rich (particularly pet grooming and aquariums), a high-profile social media lawsuit, viral content trends, and more.

Key Discussion Points

1. Iran, the Strait of Hormuz & U.S. Policy

[03:48–09:37, 38:37–46:37]

• Backdrop: Iran’s newly appointed Supreme Leader is using the threat of closing the Strait of Hormuz as leverage against the West. A massive backlog of ships, several attacks, and U.S. Navy escort discussions frame the tense situation.
• Hosts’ Take:
  • Both question the clarity and urgency of U.S. actions, especially regarding naval protection.
  • Armstrong on Iran’s leverage:
    "They have very few levers left and this is a good one… escorting those ships when you’re looking at missiles, swift boat attacks, and mines in the water, that is not a low-risk assignment for our navy." [05:10]
  • Getty on military threats:
    "What’s our return threat? I mean, we’re already bombing the bejesus out of them … I don’t know. This is an interesting one to watch play out." [05:33]
• Rumors & Media Satire:
  • The segment starts with dark humor about the Supreme Leader’s health, referencing New York Post jokes on impotence ("soft launch … he couldn’t get wood in the forest"), highlighting the absurd style of tabloid coverage. [06:05–06:25]
  • Getty: "Sometimes it’s like trying to bend a spoon with your mind… there’s something no woman can relate to." [06:47]
• Markets & Gas Prices:
  • Hosts discuss the likely short-term shocks to oil, assert faith in market adaptability, and note Trump’s supposed sensitivity to market news over these disruptions.
  • Armstrong: "What do free people in free markets do? They adjust to the new reality and they respond." [07:16]
• Polling on Iran Conflict:
  • A Washington Post poll shows rising support for continued U.S. military action in Iran, attributed to growing public awareness about Iranian provocations. [44:18–46:15]
  • Getty: "Support for the war in Iran is growing... it's now a slim support for the military campaign against Iran." [45:11]

2. Mockery of TV News and Changing Viewership

[11:18–13:24]

• TV News as Outdated/Elderly Venue:
  • They lampoon ABC News’ “kicker stories” like the “sleepy owl” headline as “journalism for the dumb. Or a child. You’re like seven.” [11:56]
  • Discussion slants toward the death of mainstream TV:
    • Armstrong: "At the point that your median viewer is in the grave, you just gotta stop." [13:13]
    • Getty: "My kids don’t watch anything that’s network television or even cable television." [12:59]
• The View & Whoopi Goldberg:
  • Armstrong and Getty heap sarcasm on The View and discuss viral (possibly fake) accusations about Trump and Iran "to distract from the Nancy Guthrie disappearance," questioning the intelligence and credibility of TV hosts. [09:37–10:56]
  • Armstrong: "If you know anybody that watches the View, stop being friends with them…" [09:51]

3. Viral Content & What People Are Really Watching

[13:39–15:13]

• The hosts and Katie Green share favorite “content rabbit holes” found on YouTube/social media: Public Freakouts, Waffle House Fights, boat launching fails, Ring Cam mishaps, and more.
• Getty: "I'll just watch a montage of people crashing on skateboards." [13:41]
• Katie Green: "My current favorite is Public Freakouts, where people just like, you know, they walk into Taco Bell and just lose their minds." [14:03]
• The phenomenon of staged “porch pirate” videos is noted; many are faked now for views.

4. Social Media On Trial: The LA Lawsuit

[19:01–23:55]

• Summary:
  • Closing arguments are underway in a landmark Los Angeles trial where Facebook/Meta faces accusations of addicting children to social media, contributing to mental health fallout.
  • Plaintiff claims severe depression stemmed from early (ages 6–9) use of YouTube and Instagram.
• Hosts’ Perspective:
  • They voice skepticism over parental responsibility versus platform accountability.
  • Armstrong: "If you put them in a room full of ice cream… That's on you. Don't put them in a room full of ice cream. Don't leave them alone with YouTube and a computer all day long." [21:12]
  • Getty: "That's what I think. And it's amazing to me that this is the one that got brought forward to try to kick all this off…" [20:03]
  • The lawsuit's evidence is debated—was she really using social media that much, or is it unverifiable?
  • Getty: "It's so entertaining it's hard to stop, I don't know if that's on you." [23:37]

5. Pet Smart or Pets Mart: Internet Jokes Go Viral

[27:41–29:13]

• The hosts play and discuss a viral metal song ("Is it Pet Smart or Pets Mart?"), musing on the absurdity and joy of online trends.
• Armstrong: "Are you saying that pets are smart or are you saying you're a mart for pets?" [28:07]
• Group agrees Katie Green “wins” by referencing the store signage colors as evidence. [29:06]

6. The Luxury Pet & Home Market: How the Rich FLAUNT

[29:15–33:03]

• Armstrong introduces a New York Times article on rising spending among wealthy Americans for signaling status.

  • "$1,000 dog grooming session … Sam Chow, Manhattan... spends $11,000 a year to groom them..." [30:06]
  • Getty: "You have adult kids who have cats or dogs, and you're the grandparent of your adult kids' pets. That's a weird way to look at it." [30:50]

• Pet grooming is now packaged as “wellness” culture, not just hygiene.

• Transition to the "aquarium boom" among America’s wealthiest:

  • "$250,000+ aquariums are becoming the new luxury art"
  • Getty: "That's one of the few things that if I was ultra wealthy, that I would do... I wouldn't mind having a whole wall fish tank in my bedroom." [33:12]
  • Armstrong: "If you like dead fish, do it yourself." [34:25]

• Anecdotes about long-lived goldfish, managing tanks, and pet loss.

7. Media & Entertainment Decision-Making—The Seinfeld Story

[37:40–38:32]

• Story from Larry David about NBC’s initial rejection of the iconic Seinfeld "Chinese Restaurant" episode—executives almost killed it, proving again that the “experts” often get entertainment wrong.

8. Sports: World Baseball Classic Knockout

[42:29–44:07]

• Quick update and light banter about the World Baseball Classic: Italy's win keeps the USA in, with humorous, faux-Italian dialogue and admiration for "regular guys" on the Czech team striking out MLB stars.

Notable Quotes & Moments

| Timestamp | Speaker | Quote / Moment | |-----------|---------------|-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 05:10 | Armstrong | "Escorting those ships ... that is not a low-risk assignment for our navy." | | 06:25 | Armstrong | "The headline this morning is Soft Launch: Iran's new Impotent Supreme Leader ..." | | 11:56 | Getty | "Man, that is some journalism for the dumb. Or a child. You're like seven." | | 13:13 | Armstrong | "At the point that your median viewer is in the grave, you just gotta stop." | | 21:12 | Armstrong | "If you put them in a room full of ice cream… That's on you ... Don't leave them alone ..." | | 28:07 | Armstrong | "Are you saying that pets are smart or are you saying you're a mart for pets?" | | 33:12 | Getty | "That's one of the few things that if I was ultra wealthy, that I would do ..." | | 45:11 | Getty | "Support for the war in Iran is growing... it's now a slim support for the military campaign against Iran." | | 47:42 | Getty | "I'm wearing the most ridiculous pants I've ever had on." |

Cultural & Entertainment Chatter

• YouTube & Social Trends: Hosts and Katie Green list their "public freakouts" and fail videos as personal favorites, referencing the viral rabbit holes their families (and audiences) are increasingly drawn into.
• Media Consumption: The death of traditional TV for younger generations is a recurring punchline.
• Luxury Spending: Self-effacing but judgmental about rich people’s new signaling methods (pet grooming, aquariums) versus old ones.
• Viral Song – PetSmart/PetsMart: Banter about the meme, the crowd, and how brands can ride the viral wave.

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Strait of Hormuz/Iran Tensions: 03:48–09:37, 38:37–46:37
• Impotence Rumor Tabloid Satire: 06:05–06:25
• The View & Whoopi Goldberg Parody: 09:37–10:56
• Media/TV Bashing: 11:18–13:24
• Favorite Viral Videos: 13:39–15:13
• LA Social Media Lawsuit Discussion: 19:01–23:55
• PetSmart/PetsMart Viral Song: 27:41–29:13
• Luxury Grooming & Aquarium Discussion: 29:15–33:03
• Entertainment Decision-Making Anecdote: 37:40–38:32
• World Baseball Classic Segment: 42:29–44:07

Closing (“Final Thoughts” Segment) [46:38–48:19]

• Michael Angelo: Jokes about the PetSmart campaign becoming official advertising.
• Katie Green: Recalls her mom sneakily replacing her goldfish multiple times ("Mr. Peepers").
• Getty: Laments wearing the sturdiest, most uncomfortable jeans ever purchased.
• Armstrong: Admits he’d skip owning a fish tank—“even if someone else maintains it, just seems like a pain.”

Tone & Style

• A blend of sarcasm, self-deprecating humor, and cultural skepticism.
• Mixes heavy topics (Iran, social media lawsuits) with breezy satire and unserious viral phenomena.
• Frequent tangents and real-time riffing between hosts, with topical references and unsparing media criticism.

Summary

Armstrong & Getty skewer headlines, culture wars, and luxury excess—oscillating between global stakes (Iranian conflict, military polling) and the trivial (viral memes, pet grooming, TV news irrelevance). Their signature banter and skepticism toward both authority and trendiness drive the episode, making it both sharp and unpretentious.