He Didn't Float. He Must Be Guilty!

Summary

"He Didn't Float. He Must Be Guilty!" – Armstrong & Getty On Demand

Release Date: March 6, 2025 | Host: iHeartPodcasts

In the episode titled "He Didn't Float. He Must Be Guilty!" from the Armstrong & Getty On Demand podcast, hosts Armstrong and Getty navigate a blend of contemporary concerns and historical reflections with their characteristic humor and insightful commentary. This detailed summary captures the essence of their discussions, highlighting key points, notable quotes, and the overall flow of the conversation.

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1. Considering Rolling Loud CA 2025: Safety and Preparations

Armstrong's Dilemma Armstrong kicks off the episode by contemplating taking his 15-year-old son to the Rolling Loud CA 2025 music festival in Inglewood, California. He expresses uncertainty about the safety of such events, particularly concerning the demographic and potential risks involved.

"I’m trying to research it and that's why I threw it out to you listeners. Would it be safe for me to go with my son?" ([02:52])

Getty's Insight and Listener Engagement Getty shares an email from a local Airbnb host, offering a glimpse into the expected crowd dynamics.

"Crowds before and after will be urban youth... generally probably okay, but transitional space is the problem." ([04:39])

He emphasizes the unpredictability of such events, comparing it to places like Disneyland and pondering the actual risks involved.

Personal Anecdotes on Concert Safety The conversation shifts to personal experiences at various concerts. Armstrong recounts attending events where fights erupted but never felt personally endangered.

"I’ve been to lots of concerts that were fights, freaking everywhere and all kinds of stuff. And I didn’t feel like I was gonna die." ([07:28])

Katie adds a similar sentiment, sharing her experience at a country concert where brawls broke out, underscoring that safety concerns transcend music genres.

"Yeah, yeah, it was. That was that show in itself." ([08:15])

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2. Delving into Medieval Justice: Trial by Ordeal and Combat

Introduction to Medieval Justice Armstrong transitions the discussion to a historical topic, expressing fascination with medieval justice systems.

"I just read this yesterday on some history Twitter thread... there were the three ordeals in old timey medieval justice." ([08:26])

Types of Ordeal Explained He elaborates on the three primary forms of trial by ordeal used to determine guilt or innocence:

1. Ordeal by Fire

   • Procedure: The accused carries a red-hot iron for nine feet; after three days, they must show their hands.
   • Outcome: Healed wounds indicate innocence; unhealed wounds suggest guilt.

   "If the wounds had started to heal, they were considered innocent." ([09:15])

2. Ordeal by Water

   • Cold Water Ordeal: Tied hands and feet thrown into water.

     • Floating signifies innocence.
     • Sinking implies guilt.

     "If you float, you're innocent. If you sank, guess you were guilty." ([09:50])

   • Hot Water Ordeal: Retrieving a stone from boiling water.

     • Similar to the ordeal by fire, healing after three days denotes innocence.

     "If your hands began to heal after three days, you were innocent." ([10:09])

3. Ordeal by Combat

   • Procedure: Two individuals engage in physical combat to settle disputes.
   • Outcome: The victor's side is deemed innocent.

   "Two individuals would fight in combat and the winner would be declared innocent." ([10:24])

Humorous Interlude on Trial by Combat Getty interjects with humor, referencing modern pop culture to illustrate the absurdity of such practices.

"They had that in the Game of Thrones that Jamie Lannister... I choose trial by combat." ([11:33])

Armstrong and Getty engage in witty banter, imagining contemporary scenarios where trial by combat might be applied, further emphasizing the outdated nature of these methods.

Armstrong: "If he’s the former high school chess champion and a weedy little dude, I might say, hey, get your RV off my land. You want to settle this in trial by combat?" ([11:03])

Getty: "Run a little trial by combat, big man." ([11:47])

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3. Concluding Reflections: Bridging Past and Present

Modern Comparisons and Lessons The hosts draw parallels between medieval justice and today's legal systems, pondering the evolution of determining guilt and innocence.

Armstrong: "The whole jury trial thing is a fairly recent invention... we're not smarter. Like our brain power isn't greater now than it was in 1300." ([10:33])

Final Thoughts on Safety and Justice Armstrong wraps up his musings by reflecting on the importance of research and informed decisions, both in attending events like Rolling Loud and understanding historical justice systems.

"I’m trying to do more research so I don't end up in a bad situation." ([07:28])

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Armstrong: "He didn't float. I guess he's guilty." ([02:32])
• Getty: "This is the smartest beast on the planet back then as now." ([10:28])
• Armstrong: "I didn’t feel like I was gonna die." ([07:28])
• Getty: "Run a little trial by combat, big man." ([11:47])

---

Summary

In "He Didn't Float. He Must Be Guilty!", Armstrong & Getty seamlessly blend discussions on the safety of contemporary music festivals with an engaging exploration of medieval justice systems. Through personal anecdotes, humorous exchanges, and insightful reflections, the episode offers listeners a thoughtful yet entertaining examination of how far we've come in both event safety and legal processes. Whether contemplating taking a son to a large festival or pondering the efficacy of historical trial methods, the hosts provide a balanced perspective that is both informative and relatable.

Transcript

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[Armstrong]

He didn't float. I guess he's guilty. It's one more thing. Armstrong and Getty.

[Getty]

One more thing before we get to.

[Armstrong]

Medieval justice, which I had promised during the radio show.

[Getty]

Is that your new midday judge show? Yeah, Judge Jack and Medieval Justice.

[Armstrong]

Yes. Where are you? Use the justice system of the early teens. 13, 14, hundreds. I mentioned on the radio show that I'm considering taking my son to Rolling Loud, CA 2025. It's a music festival in Inglewood, California at Hollywood park grounds. I don't know anything about this. I'm trying to research it and that's why I threw it out to you listeners. Would it be safe to me to go with my son? He. He's a 15 year old white kid. I imagine there'll be lots of 15 year old white kids there. I don't know if there'll be many old white dudes my age there or not. Anyway, it's Playboy, Cardi Suicide Boys, Little tj, Little tj, YST Grizzly, Ken Carson. That's why my son wants to go. Thanks so much, Lil Taylor. A bunch of other people I haven't heard of in neither of you probably. But you never know with stuff like this. It's either perfectly okay and it's as many suburban white kids and dads as it is, you know, bipoc people or whatever. And there's so much money to be made off of T shirts and expensive colas that it's incredibly safe and blah blah, blah. Or it could be a guaranteed shooting outside after the lights go down. I shouldn't be there and I have no idea which. Right. And I threw it out there for people with their suggestions. I could tell a lot of the texts I got for people that I haven't been to anything like this. You're just making assumptions. It's like all the people that used to tell me, don't go to Mexico. I went to Mexico gazillion times, had a wonderful time. You didn't have any idea what you're talking about. You're just basing it on rumors you've heard.

[Getty]

Just forwarded you an email from a guy in the area. He runs an Airbnb right there and all.

[Armstrong]

What he said, helpful leaning yes or no?

[Getty]

Let's see, I'll read it to you. Crowds before and after will be urban youth. I go to Sofi park in Englewood and walk.

[Armstrong]

Actually.

[Getty]

No danger for football. Danger is walking slow groups fighting generally probably okay, but transitional space is the problem.

[Armstrong]

Yeah, that's true for lots of things. Man. It's always so hard to know based on other people.

[Getty]

Yeah, yeah, on most things. But I have not the slightest idea. I could picture it being a lot like Disneyland and also picture it being holy crap, what have I done?

[Armstrong]

Right? Exactly. You have any opinion on this, Katie?

[Katie]

I really don't. I have no clue about this type.

[Getty]

Of Stuff I can think of. Rock club. Well, no, I don't. I don't even know if I want to get into this.

[Armstrong]

So this person said, go ahead.

[Getty]

Clubs that I've gone to many shows at and some that I've even played at, that security is wildly different for hip hop shows than any other show.

[Armstrong]

Just.

[Getty]

But, you know, what's, what's, you know, it's like somebody who knows nothing about metal, heavy metal music. For instance, assuming that Deep Purple is the same as Metallica is the same as some Viking death metal outfit I've never heard of. Likewise with the hippity hop, what acts draw what sort of people with what sort of proclivities for settling disputes, say.

[Armstrong]

Right, well, like I got this text L. Tyler and Playboy Cardi are. They have a really big LGBTQ following and the crowd will be that. Well, that's probably a safe crowd almost, you know, so that's. That's different than, you know, other rap, hip hop crowds would be.

[Katie]

I just recommend that if you go, you refer to it as hippity hop the entire time that you're there.

[Getty]

I do enjoy the hippity hop music.

[Katie]

Oh, man, this is a great hippity hop concert.

[Armstrong]

You might be the oldest white guy there, but your son will have a really good time. Well, I don't care about that. I'm not cared about. Care about whether or not I'm entertained by the music. Somebody else texted will definitely be a shooting outside the concert, but I don't know if they're basing that on anything other than, you know, they watch the news.

[Getty]

Well, wait a minute. Maybe that guy's planning on shooting somewhere outside the.

[Armstrong]

We got this one. My 24 year old daughter is driving to that show in Englewood. She's very excited about going, so I have no idea. My, My guess would be if I was going to guess and I'm going to try to do more research so I don't end up in a bad situation. But my guess would be it's more toward the hip hop, Disneyland, lots of money to be made sort of thing would be my guess.

[Getty]

Although I'm not sure what you mean by, you know, there's only lots of money to be made if it's a family friendly, suburban, white people ish atmosphere, but tons of money to be made in the other direction.

[Armstrong]

Yeah, but I've been to lots of concerts that were fights, freaking everywhere and, and all kinds of stuff. And I went and I didn't feel like I was gonna die. So, you know, you Know what?

[Katie]

You know what concert that I went to where I saw the most fights was a freaking country concert.

[Armstrong]

Oh, yeah. Hank Williams Jr. When I went to in Kansas City. Oh, my God, I've never seen so many fights.

[Getty]

Yeah, Hank Jr. Fought the bass player.

[Armstrong]

People were rolling around in the aisles, fighting. You had to look.

[Getty]

Oh, yeah, it's the shootings.

[Katie]

Yeah, yeah, it was at the Shoreline. And these two guys started brawling up at the top of the lawn. And they went all the way down the hill on the grass.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Oh, that's exciting.

[Katie]

Yeah, it was. That was that show in itself.

[Armstrong]

Okay, I need to get to this. So. But if you have any opinions on that, if you think it would actually be dangerous, if you have any actual experience with this sort of thing, do you think it would be dangerous or okay for me to take my son to it? Back to medieval justice, and I won't take too long on this. I just read this yesterday on some history Twitter thread and I thought it was interesting the way, you know, the whole jury trial thing is a fairly recent invention and the idea that you get to present your evidence and all that sort of stuff, partially with getting God out of the picture. But back in the old day, they had. There were the three ordeals in old timey medieval justice. Without a formal way of determining someone's guilt or innocence, the accused were subject to trial by ordeal. There are three types of ordeals. Ordeal by fire or deal by water, and ordeal by combat.

[Getty]

No, boy.

[Armstrong]

The goal of these ordeals was to subject the accused to extreme circumstances. If you survive, God wanted you to survive because you were innocent. If you didn't survive, you were clearly guilty and God let you die. Or deal by fire required the accused to carry a red hot iron nine feet and then have their hands bandaged. After three days, they were required to show up in court and show their hands. If the wounds had started to heal, they were considered innocent. If they. If their condition hadn't improved, they'd be found guilty and either jailed or put to death, depending on the crime.

[Getty]

Gee money.

[Armstrong]

There were two different types of ordeal by water. We've heard about this sort of thing from the Salem witch trials. If they were subjected to a cold water ordeal, their hands and feet would be tied and thrown in the water. If you float, you're innocent. If you sank, guess you were guilty. Well, you tied my hands and.

[Katie]

Yeah, how crazy is that?

[Armstrong]

For hot water ordeals, the accused had to retrieve a stone from the bottom of a kettle of boiling water. Similar to the ordeal by Fire. If your hands began to heal after three days, you were innocent.

[Getty]

He had third degree burns. Good golly.

[Katie]

All of this sounds awful.

[Getty]

This is the smartest beast on the planet back then as now.

[Armstrong]

And we're not smarter. Like our brain power isn't greater now than it was in 1300.

[Getty]

Except maybe incremental gains, but yeah, right. Oy.

[Armstrong]

Lastly, I would have hated this. Ordeal by combat was used to help two parties solve a dispute.

[Getty]

Let's get it on.

[Armstrong]

This was mostly used when there were no witnesses or confessions to a crime. Two individuals would fight in combat and the winner would be declared innocent.

[Getty]

Who's the other party to the the dispute? Can I take a look at him?

[Armstrong]

Right. I'm only going to get disputes with old or weak people.

[Getty]

Well, if it's that or plunge my hand into a boiling, you know, cauldron of water.

[Armstrong]

Like, if I don't know, my neighbor Jim keeps parking his RV and, you know, my side of the lot or something like that. But he's 25. 64280.

[Katie]

Yeah, let that one go.

[Armstrong]

Yeah.

[Getty]

Oh, that's. That's a fine system of justice.

[Armstrong]

See, if he's the former high school chess champion and a weedy little dude, I might say, hey, get your RV off my land. You want to settle this in trial by combat?

[Getty]

Yeah, run a little trial by combat, big man. They had that in the Game of Thrones that Jamie Lannister. Somebody said, I choose trial by combat. And everybody's like, oh, oh, my God. Another thing was the other dude can say, you know, I'm going to choose a substitute. Is that because you could do that?

[Armstrong]

Is that what a second was?

[Getty]

Originally, you know, I. I didn't go to medieval law school any more than I went to Modern law school. But I know there is a thing where you can appoint a substitute.

[Armstrong]

Oh, wow, cool.

[Getty]

And. And the two of them fight. And if both parties do that, then if your guy loses, well, clearly God meant for you to be guilty and you get executed or what have you.

[Armstrong]

What the hell, Jim? Were you even trying out there? Now I'm guilty, man. Why don't you keep your left up?

[Katie]

You blew it, Jim.

[Getty]

Told you.

[Armstrong]

Stick and move.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Stick and move, Jim.

[Armstrong]

Idiot. No, I'm guilty. Now I gotta, like, stick my hand in a pot of boiling water or some. Some ass. Well, I guess that's.

[Ryan Seacrest]

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[Getty]

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