Armstrong & Getty On Demand – "He'd Beat His Balls Up Pretty Good"

Date: November 6, 2025
Hosts: Jack Armstrong & Joe Getty
Length: ~60 min (content summarized: non-commercial sections only)

Episode Overview

This episode enjoyed a trademark Armstrong & Getty blend of sharp commentary and banter—starting with a lighthearted, in-depth look at the evolution of NFL field goals and pivoting into a substantive, sometimes biting, discussion of the Tucker Carlson/Nick Fuentes controversy and its ripple effects in conservative politics. After diving into the news and a viral animal clip, the show wrapped up with final thoughts tinged with characteristic self-aware humor.

Main Discussion Points & Insights

1. NFL Field Goals and the Science of "K Balls"

[03:41–14:27]

• Record-Breaking Kicks: The show opens with shock over a recent 68-yard NFL field goal, contrasting it with Tom Dempsey’s legendary 63-yarder in 1970.
  • [03:52] Dave: "Nobody cam. Little caves up big."
  • [04:18] Michael: "Not very many years ago, nobody would have attempted a 68 yard field goal."
• How Kickers Help Themselves: The hosts unpack how old-school NFL kickers used to “beat their balls up pretty good”—soaking, drying, and otherwise distressing footballs (the "K balls") to make them more kickable.
  • [06:33] Michael: "This is news to me... I didn't know they use different balls for kicking than they did for the rest of the game."
• Rule Changes: Since 1999, the NFL has cracked down on ball doctoring. But in 2025, teams now get 60 "K balls" a season and are allowed limited prep, leading to a surge in long field goals.
  • [07:13] Dave: "He would beat his balls up pretty good to work in the leather. Then he'd overinflate them to stretch them out."
  • [08:26] Michael: "If all you have to get to is like the 40 yard line... it's a different sport."
• Sport Evolution: The conversation broadens to how equipment and athlete prowess force sports to constantly adapt. Reductio ad absurdum: if you could hit 90-yard field goals, would something have to change?
  • [10:00] Dave (Latin flourish): "Oh, reductio ad absurdum. If you could make a 90-year, 90-yard field goal... Right, right.”*

2. Football History & Rule Changes

[10:56–14:25]

• Football Origins: With the anniversary of the first college football game, the hosts recall Teddy Roosevelt’s involvement and the sport’s once-deadly reputation before helmets and other safety measures.
  • [11:21] Michael: "He was highly concerned that people were getting all concerned about the number of college football players that were dying on the field."
• From Soccer to Football: The U.S. altered soccer to make it more exciting (i.e., picking up the ball), and the hosts reflect on how sports names and rules evolved, such as the forward pass.
  • [13:34] Michael: “These Euros got nothing better to do... So we almost immediately altered soccer to become the most popular sport in America.”

3. Conservative Media Meltdown: Tucker Carlson, Nick Fuentes & Heritage

[14:27–43:54]

• The Core Controversy: The episode’s heart is a deep-dive into the recent uproar after Tucker Carlson hosted Nick Fuentes—a figure with well-documented racist and antisemitic views—on his massive media platform, giving him expansive airtime with minimal challenge.
  • [30:07] Michael: “Jews are running society. Women need to shut the up. Blacks need to be imprisoned for the most part and we would live in paradise.” (summarizing Fuentes’ rhetoric)
  • [30:22] Michael: "It's literally that simple."
• Heritage Foundation’s Response: A board member resigned after Heritage’s president, Kevin Roberts, offered only tepid condemnation of Carlson’s platforming of Fuentes, foregrounding free speech and “no cancel culture.”
  • [32:35] Michael: “He comes out and says… we don’t believe in cancel culture...”
  • [33:20] Jack: “He is on day about day three of apologizing for his original statement.”
• Notable Quotes & Letter Excerpts:
  • [36:22] Dave, reading Mark Goldfedder (resigned from Heritage’s antisemitism task force):

    "Elevating [Fuentes] and then attacking those who object as somehow un-American or disloyal... is not the protection of free speech. It is moral collapse disguised as courage..."

  • [34:31] Dave: "He essentially said anybody criticizing that [Tucker/Fuentes] interview was being a bad American and a bad conservative."
• Tucker Carlson’s Logic: Despite personal attacks from Fuentes (including insults toward Tucker’s family), Tucker gave him a huge platform, citing a desire to “talk to everyone” and speculating that Fuentes “can’t be canceled” due to his influence over young men.
  • [39:18] Michael (paraphrasing Tucker): “He’s the most influential voice for men under 30 in the United States. I hope that isn’t true.”
• Cynical Business or Genuine Belief?: Hosts suggest Tucker, Candace Owens, and Fuentes inhabit a “profitable grift” ecosystem—making alliances for strategic rather than ideological reasons.
  • *[41:08] Dave: “It’s like, you know, the Gambino family and the Bonanno family in New York... war was bad for business. I think there’s more than a little of that in this.” *
  • *[41:59] Michael: “I have no idea how much money Nick Fuentes or Candace Owens are making off this, but man, I wouldn’t want the security that these people have.” *
• Conservative Self-Reflection: The right, A&G argue, is engaged in overdue self-policing—debating “no enemies to the right” and whether to disown fringe figures, unlike what they see on the left.
  • [42:48] Dave: “No enemies to the right... The right in America is saying increasingly, ‘No, we're not going to put our arm around the lunatics just because they're against the same people we are.’”
• Historical Echoes: Michael spots the persistence of antisemitism, comparing Fuentes’ line of thinking to casual prejudices depicted in Joyce’s "Ulysses."
  • [43:54] Michael: “...the amount of antisemitism he runs into in one day in Dublin... sound exactly like Nick Fuentes.”

4. News Roundup: Flight Cancellations & Political Leadership

[21:39–24:31]

• Airport Shutdowns: Due to staffing issues (and political gridlock), 40 major U.S. airports are slashing 10% of flights, with 4,500 cancellations forecasted.
  • [22:28] Dave: "There is not going to be an empty seat in America."
  • [22:46] Dave: "At least neither party has any interest in what's good for the American people..."
• Political Reflections: The hosts wax nostalgic—and sarcastic—on Nancy Pelosi’s retirement and relative political talent versus her successors.
  • [23:31] Michael: "She was really good. I hated that she was so good.”

5. Quick Takes: TikTok’s Tubi Deal, International News & More

[20:05–21:28; 25:06–25:30]

• **TikTok airs its first award show on Tubi—provoking bemusement at the pairing of a giant platform with a little-watched streaming service.
  • [20:06] Michael: "TikTok was like how can we take something everyone is on and show it on something nobody is on?"
• Headline Watch: Comment on vandalism at the Met, muted discussion of Russia/Ukraine war.

6. Animal Clip & Light Fare

[53:30–56:12]

• The infamous “owl and chickens” viral clip: A farmer catches an owl mid-attack on his chickens, gives it a gentle scolding, and releases it—with a running, bemused commentary.
  • [54:04] Dave (as farmer): "I wish we could be friends. I don't want you eating my birds. However, sir. Okay, this is not permissible."
  • The hosts riff on the realism of chicken noises, the physical eccentricity of owls, and the morality of handling varmints.
• Final Thoughts
  • [55:42] Michael: "I don't have a real final thought, but that owl clip made me happy."
  • [56:37] Dave: "I hope Donald Trump and Chuck Schumer are listening... Maybe they can take an example..."

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Football's Changing Physics:

  "He would beat his balls up pretty good to work in the leather. Then he'd overinflate them to stretch them out."
  —Co-host/Producer Dave [07:13]

• On Conservative Gatekeeping:

  "Elevating [Fuentes] and then attacking those who object as somehow un-American or disloyal... is not the protection of free speech. It is moral collapse disguised as courage."
  —Mark Goldfedder, via Dave [36:22]

• On Grifting in Media:

  "...it's an enormously profitable grift. And it could be that the Coke of that decided, I'm better off having a comfortable relationship with the Pepsi of this grift, than to be openly at war with each other..."
  —Co-host/Producer Dave [41:08]

• On Modern Antisemitism:

  "...the main character Leopold Bloom is Jewish and the amount of antisemitism he runs into in one day in Dublin... sound exactly like Nick Fuentes..."
  —Co-host/Producer Michael [43:54]

• On Animal Husbandry and Harmony:

  "Out at the farm... a big giant dog, a cat and a chicken all just standing together, just hanging out, perfectly happy."
  —Co-host/Producer Michael [56:17]

Key Timestamps

• NFL Field Goal/Evolving K Balls: 03:41–14:27
• Football History & Forward Pass: 10:56–14:25
• Tucker/Nick Fuentes/Heritage Controversy: 14:27–43:54
• Flight Cancellation Crisis: 21:39–24:31
• Animal Clip ("Owl vs. Chickens"): 53:30–56:12
• Final Thoughts: 55:36–56:57

Tone & Style

• Spirited, irreverent, knowledgeable, and occasionally biting—especially when skewering political hypocrisy or the absurdities of sport.
• Hosts are self-effacing but unabashed in critique, alternating laughter with no-nonsense moral clarity.

Summary Takeaway

This episode demonstrates Armstrong & Getty’s unique ability to tackle both the granular—NFL football physics, viral farm animal clips—and the grand—political infighting, antisemitism, and the evolution of American conservatism. Whether dissecting sporting minutiae or cultural fault lines, their candid, often comic approach makes for a brisk, thought-provoking listen.