Hide the Food...He's Back!

Summary

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Armstrong & Getty On Demand – “Hide the Food...He's Back!”

Episode Date: July 13, 2026
Host: iHeartPodcasts
Featuring: Joe, Michael, Tony Ayo, Guest(s)

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Episode Overview

This edition of "Armstrong & Getty On Demand" dives into themes of self-discipline, motivation, retirement, food temptations (especially on vacation), and the challenges of building healthy routines. The hosts share personal anecdotes from recent cruises and life events while exploring deeper questions about the sources and sustainability of self-control, the nature of motivation, and the pitfalls of free time—often with their trademark humor and candor.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Spicy Food and Longevity (02:15 – 03:21)

• Fun Fact Debunked:
  Michael shares a headline claiming people who eat spicy food 6-7 times a week have a 14% lower relative risk of dying.
  • “It’s gotta be one of those causation versus correlation things… like what is the lifestyle of people who eat spicy food?” – Michael (02:26)
  • Joe jokes, “Maybe it’s about to have a heart attack, yeah, those foods are bland.” (03:01)
• Speculation: The crew questions whether spicier food reflects broader lifestyle choices versus direct health effects.

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2. Food Temptation on Vacation (03:21 – 05:05)

• Cruise Ship Overeating:
  Joe and Michael recount buffet temptations, the illusion of “getting your money’s worth,” and sampling excessive foods.
  • “You think I’m just having a cup of yogurt? I’m losing money here!” – Joe (04:49)
• Humor on Self-Control:
  Playful banter about breakfast choices and the struggle to resist “delicious bacon, muffins, danishes” and more.

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3. Self-Discipline vs. Practical Necessity (05:11 – 08:46)

• Discipline on Vacation:
  Joe describes battling the urge to over-drink or overeat, partly out of necessity (wanting to enjoy outings without being hungover or having digestive issues).
  • “A lot of the discipline I showed on vacation was what I would call out of necessity, circumstance-related…” – Joe (07:24)
• Questioning True Motivation:
  He wonders if his actions are genuine self-control or simple responses to external pressures.
  • “Are you really disciplined or is this just… a practical accommodation to the good things and bad things you want to avoid?” – Joe (08:25)

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4. Vanity, Motivation, and Habit-Building (08:46 – 11:37)

• Michael’s Gym and Writing Habits:
  Michael admits his gym routine is “vanity and lasciviousness” driven, not health (“Never apologize for lasciviousness.” – Joe, 09:09).
  • Writing discipline is harder, he says, because there’s “no obvious payoff or external pressure.”
    • “If I got horrible uncontrollable diarrhea by not writing – kind of like your motivation for not drinking so much…” – Michael (11:22)
• Buying New Gear Syndrome:
  Michael discusses buying a nostalgic electric typewriter to try to spark writing consistency and avoid online distractions.

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5. The True Nature of Self-Discipline (11:37 – 12:28)

• Sticks vs. Carrots:
  The hosts debate whether people are more motivated by rewards (carrots), punishments (sticks), or vanity.
  • “Are most people driven by the sticks rather than the carrots or, or, or carrots that aren’t anything you should be proud of?” – Michael (12:32)
  • Joe responds with humor: “What am I doing with the carrot? Is this a substitute for getting laid?” (12:47)
• External Pressures and Purpose:
  Joe concludes much of his own drive comes from not wanting to let down family, rather than innate discipline.

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6. Retirement: The Challenge of Purpose & Free Time (13:30 – 16:45)

• Retirement Fears:
  Joe expresses concern about losing structure and discipline post-retirement, referencing friends who “withered” after stopping work.
  • “You retire, you die. [Roger] had several friends who retired and then just boom, they didn’t last two years.” – Joe (15:05)
• Productivity with Kids vs. Free Time:
  Michael describes how having children forced structure and productivity, while too much free time leads to “wasted” days:
  • “Given a choice, it’s very easy for me to sleep late, flip on the TV… next thing you know, a month has gone by and you haven’t done any of the things you thought you were going to do in retirement.” – Michael (14:50)

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7. Stories from Alaska: Nature & Wildlife (16:53 – 19:00)

• Wildlife Sightings:
  Joe humorously recounts seeing whales, bears, orcas, sea lions (“stellar” is the breed), and more while noting that wildlife is actually sparse amid the vast wilderness.
  • “Odds are good you’re not going to see a goddamn squirrel… it’s not like the bears are crowded together like commuters on a subway.” – Joe (17:26)
• Learning About Icebergs:
  The team shares facts: icebergs are mostly underwater (“Contrary to Jack’s belief, they’re dangerous because you can only see a fraction.” – Joe, 18:40), and terms like “growlers” (small) and “bergy bits” (medium).
  • “Of all things to learn in school… everyone needs to know this in case they’re piloting a boat near Scandinavia.” – Michael (18:54)

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8. Alaska’s Endless Daylight (21:05 – 21:43)

• Impression of Northern Summers:
  “It was blazing sunshine at 10 o’clock at night… The sun would be blazing. It should have ended about a minute ago.” – Joe (21:19)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Buffet Eating:
  “You think I’m just having a cup of yogurt? I’m losing money here!” – Joe (04:49)
• On Motivation:
  “If I got horrible uncontrollable diarrhea by not writing – kind of like your motivation for not drinking so much…” – Michael (11:22)
• On Discipline and Family:
  “For me, a huge factor in my life, huge, was not wanting to let down my wife or my children.” – Joe (12:17)
• On Retirement Risks:
  “You retire, you die. He had several friends who retired and then just boom, they didn’t last two years.” – Joe (15:05)
• On Alaska’s Nature:
  “Odds are good you’re not going to see a goddamn squirrel… it’s not like the bears are crowded together like commuters on a subway.” – Joe (17:26)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Spicy Food and Mortality Statistics: 02:15 – 03:21
• Vacation/Buffet Food Temptation: 03:21 – 05:05
• Self-Discipline Musings: 05:11 – 08:46
• Motivation, Vanity, and Building Habits: 08:46 – 11:37
• Deeper Dive: What is True Discipline?: 11:37 – 12:28
• Retirement and Loss of Structure: 13:30 – 16:45
• Stories from Alaska, Nature & Icebergs: 16:53 – 19:00
• Alaska’s Endless Daylight: 21:05 – 21:43

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Conclusion

This episode offers an entertaining yet thought-provoking look at human motivation, self-discipline, and the real-world consequences of too much freedom. With genuine self-deprecation and relatable anecdotes, Armstrong & Getty underscore how much of our “discipline” stems from practical realities, vanity, external pressures, and fear of aimlessness – not simply force of will. The lighter moments—Alaskan wildlife, iceberg trivia, cruise tales, and irreverent humor—make for a memorable, warmly engaging discussion.

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Transcript

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[Joe]

Oh my God. Hide the food. He's back again. It's one more thing. Armstrong and Getty. One more thing.

[Michael]

Speaking of food and before we get to whatever that is, just came across this. This has got to be one of

[Advertiser]

those

[Michael]

causation versus what is it that. What is it?

[Joe]

Correlation.

[Michael]

Correlation. Yeah. There's gotta be something else. Adults whose spicy food intake you like the spicy food averaged six to seven days a week had a 14% lower relative risk of dying than those who intake. Why? Why would. What's the what's the theory.

[Joe]

Flavonoids. No, I don't, I don't know.

[Michael]

I just, I was trying. I never think it's that stuff. I always think it's a correlation. Like what is the lifestyle of people who eat spicy food that would cause them to die less.

[Joe]

You're like your, your big fat southern. Oh, maybe it's about to have a heart attack. Yeah, those foods are bland.

[Michael]

I don't call it bland, but it's not spicy. A lot of gravy and fried chicken and all those flavors which I love, but it's not spicy. You're right. I'll bet it's that.

[Tony Ayo]

Oh.

[Joe]

I discovered I like Indian food even more than I realized on the cruise because why?

[Michael]

That's one flavor I do not like.

[Joe]

Oh, man. So good. But that's spicy.

[Michael]

Indian casino or win spelling bee. Championship spelling bee. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Joe]

The subcontinent, not the reservations. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We made some jokes when we were talking about the cruise and all about food and buffets and stuff like that. And it is possible just taking way, way, way too many calories. It's not like you eat like a hog in an individual meal, but every time you're hungry, you have fabulously prepared a huge variety of food to choose from. Or a little of this, maybe just a little bit of that with the

[Michael]

added weird mental thing of you paid for this and you kind of get more value the more you eat. Which doesn't make any sense, but.

[Joe]

Well, you're right, but yeah. There were a couple of mornings I had what I usually have for breakfast, which is some yogurt and fruit, maybe some nuts on top of it.

[Michael]

I paid for this. I'm not just going to have yogurt and fruit.

[Joe]

Here I am walking past the salmon and the bagels and the pre made omelets or the order an omelette or the delicious bacon and the.

[Michael]

Just everything I got up in the morning to make everything. You're gonna leave him standing there alone?

[Joe]

Muffins and danishes and, and what else was there?

[Michael]

Just everything.

[Joe]

Everything you could possibly eat for breakfast

[Michael]

Was there sort of pancake or French toast?

[Joe]

Are you kidding me? Of course, yes. Every variety you can imagine. You think I'm just having a cup of yogurt? I'm losing money here.

[Michael]

Yeah, right.

[Joe]

Yeah, yeah.

[Michael]

What's the point of being alive?

[Joe]

Just gained like three pounds.

[Michael]

That's not bad.

[Joe]

Not bad at all. You know how weighing in goes tomorrow it could be three more pounds and

[Michael]

I'll be like, wait, what?

[Joe]

But we'll See, So on the cruise I found myself thinking about a couple of things. Number one, retirement. Not because I'm considering it really. I, A lot of my friends and golf buddies are retired or about to retire and stuff like that. It's kind of a conversation that I have. But I love what I do and I'm super interested in it and, and I just, I don't want to. So maybe a little different, a little different work, life balance. But in short, I don't want to. But I was thinking about self discipline and the different kinds of it. And here's why. I, you know, I make jokes about drinking a lot, but I'm pretty responsible about my drinking. Partly because I don't want my wife to think I'm a lush and also because I care about this job and if I get like hammered and I'm hungover the next day, I'm not as good at it. And I, that it kills me. I hate that. But I was thinking on vacation

[Michael]

we

[Joe]

would like do almost every day an outing or an adventure. Whether it was a. We did a couple of kayak excursions that were quite strenuous or a, you know, float plane thing or a hike or whatever. And you can't do them hungover, especially if I've tried.

[Michael]

It's miserable and I'm.

[Joe]

And you know, everybody depending on your age has a different view of what it means to be hungover. I remember when it was just a headache and my stomach didn't feel good, but it kind of evolves to, to. I know you remember this from your drinking days. Excessive alcohol use can have digestive effects. Where indeed? If you were to be kayaking when, say, there was no saying no, what are you gonna do?

[Michael]

You're gonna want to send this kayak to the dry cleaner.

[Joe]

You're gonna hang your arse, go into those walls? Yes, Celine. What are you gonna hang your arse over the edge and pollute the glacier?

[Parent 1]

Lake.

[Joe]

I know. So a lot of the discipline I showed on vacation was what I would call out of necessity, circumstance related. And I realized if, and you know, I don't. Where does one start and the other one end or whatever. If I could, if it just doesn't matter how I feel the next day or if there were no scale,

[Child]

would

[Joe]

I be self disciplined at all or what? I just, I'm trying to understand what is like actual moral strength and what is just a practical right concession to the fact that I don't want to suck at my job and I don't want to have to Take a crap in the middle of a lake, which is a good. Sorry, those of you with more delicate

[Michael]

sensibilities, it's a good thing to avoid.

[Joe]

Yeah. Oh, Lord, that's a good point. And I don't know. I don't have any point to this. I just found myself thinking, are you really disciplined or is this just, again, a practical accommodation to the good things and bad things you want to avoid?

[Michael]

Or are those the same thing? Right.

[Joe]

Is that the same thing?

[Michael]

I got two examples of that. Kind of like, so I'm in the gym almost every day. I'm very, very consistent, right?

[Joe]

Yeah. Much more disciplined than I am right now.

[Michael]

But. But it's not driven by health or any sort of, like, noble reason. It's because I'm single. It's vanity and lasciviousness. That's what it is.

[Joe]

Never apologize for lasciviousness.

[Michael]

To me, sir, it is not any sort of. Well, the doctor said I should. To keep my cholesterol.

[Joe]

No, no, no.

[Michael]

I don't think about that at all. And. And then. So I've been trying to write lately. I'm trying to make that a new habit.

[Joe]

Ah.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Michael]

I bought this really cool electric typewriter thing. It's awesome. It feels.

[Joe]

Oh, oh, the. I'm going to turn over a new leaf. So I buy gear syndrome, right?

[Michael]

Definitely something you got to watch out for. But I got to type on something. And I just. I hate typing on computers. I always have. And I came across this thing about how a lot of people hate typing on computers. I just hate it. Something about the shallow depth and the sound or something like that. So I bought this thing that's very popular with writers that feels and sounds like a typewriter, but it's a word processor thing. It's very cool. And also it's not hooked to the Internet and it's impossible. So you can't go online. You need that.

[Advertiser]

Also.

[Michael]

That's the other thing with computers. There's lots of people talking about on your computer. It's just too easy to check your email real quick or a text comes in. So I got this word processor thing that I've been using and I've been trying to be disciplined every single day. And I was actually typing last night doing my kind of journaling before. I try to write anything. But just how. You know the weird thing about the trying to get this is nobody's making me do this. I don't have to do it. I could easily say, you know what, your X years old, who cares? Don't do it. Why are you making yourself do something that you find to be a chore? Why? What, what is the goal here? What's the. Because it's not like lifting weights. I'm doing so I can get a girlfriend. What am I going to get, get out of writing other than in theory, some sort. So yeah, motivating yourself to do things for the right reason is hard. If I, if, if I had to write.

[Joe]

Postponing brain rot, though, that's. Yeah, that's a good thing.

[Michael]

Boy, I don't know. That doesn't work for me either because, I mean, that'd be the exercise thing. I should be exercising because it's going to help me live a longer, more enjoyable life. That's not why I'm exercising. I need. Your writers get laid a lot. I need some reason.

[Joe]

Yeah, they do, but they're conflicted about it.

[Michael]

If, like, if I got horrible uncontrollable diarrhea by not writing. Kind of like your motivation for not drinking so much.

[Joe]

Yes, yes. The least bit controllable.

[Michael]

The motivation of what makes people do things or not. And you'd like it to be a character driven.

[Joe]

But it oftentimes is not so. Yeah, well, I've, I've often said, particularly of a certain young man who I'm very, very fond of, that I wish he would find a great woman. Because if you're the sort of guy, and there are plenty of you that are self motivated to become everything you can be, good for you. For me, a huge factor in my life, huge was not wanting to let down my wife or my children.

[Michael]

Oh yeah, that makes a big difference.

[Joe]

I'm afraid I could be a slacker bum fairly easily, but I'm not for obvious reasons. Yeah. Yeah. So what is the nature of self discipline?

[Advertiser]

What is.

[Joe]

I don't know.

[Michael]

Are most people driven by the sticks rather than the carrots or, or, or carrots that aren't anything you should be proud of? Also,

[Joe]

your metaphor is getting a little hazy to me. What am I doing with the carrot? Is this a substitute for getting late or.

[Michael]

I don't know.

[Joe]

No, I, well, you know, I also, there's the. I want to do good at my job because I like money.

[Michael]

Yeah. I don't have any problem with that. You know, we're on a stage every single day. Who wants to embarrass themselves on stage in front of people? But that's a stick also.

[Joe]

Yeah.

[Michael]

Avoiding embarrassment. So like you, Michael, you. You're pretty disciplined with your eating, but that's because the doctor Flat out told you you're gonna lose your feet or die or whatever.

[Guest]

Yeah, yeah. You know, I like having toes so I eat properly.

[Michael]

You'd have to buy all new socks.

[Guest]

But I was thinking about what you guys were talking about. Retirement. Yeah, by not retiring, by working till the day you die. You always have that stick, which is good. It means you can't drink as much as you want. You've got to show up somewhere. So creates discipline.

[Joe]

Well, you're right. And that's actually I left unsaid, kind of that point that I was thinking about retirement, thinking, well, I'll have to institute a new system of self discipline or kind of a new paradigm to not just go completely nuts. And I've talked to enough friends who have retired that, yeah, that's part of it. And you have to figure out a purpose. You have to have a reason to get up in the morning.

[Michael]

Yeah, man, I had a couple. I only had a couple of days where, when we were on vacation last week, where my kids were busy and I had the whole day free. And, man, at least one of them, I just completely wasted. And I thought, dang it, I mean, like, I was so productive when the kids were little, especially. It's like I don't even know how I did it. Just go all day long because I had no choice. Given a choice. It's very easy for me to sleep late, flip on the tv, you know, I could use a nap. You just got up, well, I'm tired.

[Child]

Just, oh, my God, I can get

[Michael]

out of hand so fast. And I know I've talked to people retired who, yes, that can happen. Next thing you know, a month has gone by and you haven't done any of the things you thought you were going to do in retirement. None of them. That would be me.

[Joe]

I had a friend. I wish we'd stayed in touch, but when we met Roger, he was 77 years old. He was our next door neighbor at our walled compound in the woods. And, and, and he was just starting a big new business and had to fly back and forth to Montana, I think because he believed you retire, you die. He'd had several friends who retired and then just boom, they didn't last two years.

[Michael]

I've told you the story about my financial guy who, you know, he said, I have seen this my entire career, people who can't wait to retire. And then when I see them the next year, one year later, when they come back for their evaluation, they look like they've aged 15 years. He said, it's like, it's like a truism.

[Joe]

And then I know some people who've thrived in retirement. They're doing great generally. They're busy. They're trying to accomplish something. They're doing something that's important to them. But you know what? I've got this retired doctor friend who's absolutely hilarious, and he's been retired for a number of years. He couldn't be happier. And, you know, we'll play golf. We'll have a drink or two after the round or something. I'll say, well, I gotta knock it off. I gotta work tomorrow. And he'll say, joe, you know what? I gotta work.

[Advertiser]

Never.

[Joe]

And he really relishes it. I mean, he'll outlive us all. So just how does.

[Michael]

I wish there was a genetic test

[Joe]

you could take or. Listen, you're a 4C. I need you to listen to me very, very carefully. The minute you leave work, you do this, that, and the other, you'll be dead within a year or whatever. You're a one be. Don't worry, you'll be fine.

[Guest]

Yeah,

[Michael]

I'm not good with free time. I wish I was better at it, but I'm not good with it.

[Joe]

So. So a bunch of whales in Alaska, two bears, handful of orcas.

[Michael]

We saw you get flipped on your head by that bison.

[Joe]

Got flipped on my head. Let's see. Sea otters, sea lions, stellar seals. It's not a rating. That's the breed.

[Michael]

Good name for a breed. I wish I was like, the Magnificent Jack. That was just my name, right?

[Joe]

Stellar sea lions.

[Advertiser]

Yeah.

[Joe]

They remind me of great egrets. Look, That's a great egret. I've seen better egrets.

[Michael]

Yeah, it's okay.

[Joe]

Boy, the wildlife. The wildlife. You know what's surprising about wildlife? It's how little you see. You're in, like, a vast, wild, untrammeled wilderness. Odds are good you're not going to see a goddamn squirrel. I mean, just because there's so much room.

[Michael]

Yeah.

[Joe]

It's not like the bears are crowded together like commuters on a subway car or something like that.

[Michael]

They're off.

[Joe]

They're off in a wilderness.

[Tony Ayo]

Right.

[Michael]

Did you see, like, ice and water? What do you call that?

[Joe]

Oh, icebergs.

[Michael]

Icebergs, yeah.

[Joe]

Oh, yeah. We saw some beautiful glaciers and icebergs. You got three kinds of iceberg, Jack, depending on their size. You got two meters or smaller. I think those are growlers. Seriously, that's. That's what you call tiny little iceberg.

[Michael]

Now, most of the Iceberg is above water. Do I remember that correctly? Oh, no, no.

[Joe]

As a matter of fact, that is incorrect. So you got your growlers, Michael. Then your second size is, I believe, up to 5 meters in length. And those are called, believe it or not, bergy bits, which is as cutesy as growler is unfortunate. And then more than five meters, you've got an iceberg. Indeed. Contrary to Jack's belief, they're dangerous because you can only see a fraction.

[Michael]

Why did we all learn in grade school that 7/10 of an iceberg is under the water like we are? All because the Titanic was so racist. Titanic and thought everybody needs to know this in case they're ever piloting a boat right outside of Scandinavia.

[Joe]

Look, if you find yourself piloting an enormous ocean liner, remember this one thing

[Michael]

of all things to learn.

[Advertiser]

Right?

[Joe]

Right.

[Advertiser]

Summer is here. At Orderly Meds, we know this time is a reminder that life is full of new beginnings. Whether you're celebrating the nice weather, starting

a new chapter, planning a vacation, or

simply looking ahead to what's next, this season can be the perfect time to

invest in yourself and your health.

If you've struggled with weight loss and are curious about GLP1 medications, orderly meds

can help you learn about your options.

Through a simple virtual process, you can

connect with licensed medical professionals who can determine whether treatment may be appropriate for you. Getting started is fast, convenient, and happens online from the comfort of home. This summer, consider a new approach to feeling your best. Visit orderlymeds.com podcast to learn more. That's orderlymeds.com podcast orderlymeds.com podcast because every

new season is an opportunity to take

the next step forward, compounded medications are not FDA approved, eligibility required and determined by a licensed provider. Individual results may vary. See website for details.

[Child]

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[Parent 1]

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[Child]

No idea. Last week it was dinosaurs. This week it's Lingokids.

[Parent 1]

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[Child]

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[Advertiser]

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[Child]

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[Joe]

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[Parent 1]

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[Guest]

Hey, real quick, a serious question. How daylight hours was it daylight for 12 hours a day, or what's it like up there?

[Joe]

Not quite, because we were in late June, early July, but it was blazing sunshine at 10 o' clock at night.

[Michael]

10 o'.

[Advertiser]

Clock.

Wow.

[Joe]

Oh, yeah.

[Michael]

You'd be.

[Joe]

You'd be, you know, sipping drinks and doing whatever, and you'd look at your watch and think, holy crap, how did that happen? And then you'd wake up, you know, in the wee hours of the morning to, I don't know, perhaps relieve yourself and. And the sun would be bl. Oh boy, oh boy. And the sun would be blazing. It should ended at about a minute ago. Yep.

[Guest]

Well, I guess that's it.

[Advertiser]

Summer is here. At Orderly Meds, we know this time is a reminder that life is full of new beginnings. Whether you're celebrating the nice weather, starting

a new chapter, planning a vacation, or

simply looking ahead to what's next, this season can be the perfect time to

invest in yourself and your health.

If you've struggled with weight loss and are curious about GLP1 medications, orderly meds

can help you learn about your options.

Through a simple virtual process, you can

connect with licensed medical professionals who can determine whether treatment may be appropriate for you. Getting started is fast, convenient, and happens online from the comfort of home. This summer, consider a new approach to feeling your best. Visit orderlymeds.com podcast to learn more. That's orderlymeds.com podcasts Orderly Meds because every new season is an opportunity to take the next step forward. Compounded medications are not FDA approved, eligibility required and determined by a licensed provider. Individual results may vary. See website for details.

[Tony Ayo]

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[Child]

Mom, can I have Lingokids? Dad? Lingokids, please.

[Parent 1]

When did we become the Lingokids House?

[Child]

No idea. Last week it was dinosaurs. This week it's Lingokids.

[Parent 1]

Why Lingokids?

[Child]

Because it's the best thing ever. We can play games with astronauts, wild animals and superheroes.

[Advertiser]

With more than 4,000 interactive games, songs and shows, LingoKids is the number one entertainment platform for young kids.

[Child]

So no dinosaurs and dinosaurs.

[Joe]

Lingokids.

[Parent 1]

Everything kids love, download it for free.