Human Taxidermy

Summary

Podcast Summary: Armstrong & Getty On Demand - "Human Taxidermy"

Episode Information:

• Title: Human Taxidermy
• Release Date: June 20, 2025
• Host/Author: iHeartPodcasts

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1. Introduction

In the "Human Taxidermy" episode of Armstrong & Getty On Demand, hosts Jack Armstrong and Joe Getty delve into a variety of pressing social and political issues, blending humor with insightful commentary. This episode navigates through the complexities of the online dating industry, geopolitical tensions between the U.S. and Iran, and a heated discussion sparked by Whoopi Goldberg's controversial statements on race and gender. Additionally, the hosts share personal anecdotes and engage with listener emails, adding a relatable touch to the conversation.

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2. Online Dating and Platform Manipulation

The episode kicks off with a critical examination of the online dating landscape. Joe Getty raises concerns about the monopolistic tendencies of major dating companies:

[03:06] Joe Getty: "Not all of them, but most of the ones you've heard of are owned by one company. And there's some belief that they've changed the algorithm to make sure you don't match with somebody because that'd be the end of you as a customer."

Ryan Seacrest adds to the discussion by likening the situation to a "Facebook in reverse," emphasizing the platforms' focus on maximizing user engagement:

[03:29] Ryan Seacrest: "Yeah, it's the Facebook in reverse principle. And he'd be engaged as long and as frequently as possible."

The hosts express frustration over the superficial nature of online dating interactions, suggesting that many users engage out of boredom rather than genuine connection:

[04:56] Joe Getty: "There's a certain amount of that. It's almost like out of boredom. I need something to do as opposed to, you know, looking for the biggest connection and decision you're ever going to make in your life."

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3. US-Iran Geopolitical Tensions and Military Involvement

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to the escalating tensions between the United States and Iran. The conversation centers around the potential for military action against Iran's nuclear program and the public's perception of such measures.

Poll Discussion: The hosts analyze polling data to gauge American sentiment on military intervention:

[16:27] Ryan Seacrest: "But my point is Trump could come out today and say, I've decided to never bomb Iran, it was a terrible idea, I'm never doing it. And then bomb a half hour later. He's allowed to do that."

Joe Getty references a YouGov poll indicating only 16% of Americans support military involvement:

[16:11] Joe Getty: "Should the US Military get involved in the conflict between Israel and Iran? Only 16%. Yes. Now there are 24% unsure. But that still only brings you up to 40%. It's a 60-40 No."

Discussion on Poll Accuracy: The hosts debate the reliability of different polling organizations, noting discrepancies between YouGov and Gray House Polling, which reports a higher 67% support for military strikes:

[19:48] Joe Getty: "How long would it take for Iran to build its own ICBMs? Perhaps the type North Korea already likes. Likely Fields. I am far less concerned with US military involvement in the Persian Gulf than the prospect of a wacky regime able to range US cities with thermonuclear warheads."

Policy Implications: They discuss the potential political ramifications, suggesting that political parties addressing illegal immigration effectively could gain favor in upcoming elections:

[22:27] Joe Getty: "Man, I think you get to the next presidential election, the party that stopped illegal immigration and did something about it is going to be rewarded rather than penalized."

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4. Whoopi Goldberg's Controversial Comparisons on Race and Gender

A heated segment arises from Whoopi Goldberg's remarks comparing the experience of being black in America to being a woman in Iran. The hosts scrutinize and vehemently criticize her statements, debating the validity and implications of such comparisons.

[31:12] Ryan Seacrest: "Speaking of things that need to be rewired, how about Whoopi Goldberg?"

Offensive Statements: Ryan Seacrest condemns Goldberg's analogy, labeling it as a "moronic argument" and expressing frustration over the oversimplification of complex social issues:

[32:11] Joe Getty: "Be black if you're black. Oh, Lord, it's worse to be black in America or the same as being a woman in Iran. Moral relativism is one of the most dangerous things to Western society that exists."

Defense of American Context: The hosts assert that life in the United States, particularly for black individuals, is fraught with systemic issues that warrant recognition without diminishing other global struggles:

[32:20] Joe Getty: "Moral relativism is wokeism is what it is."

Concluding Remarks on the Topic: They conclude by emphasizing the sensitivity required in such discussions and the need to avoid trivializing endemic social injustices:

[33:17] Joe Getty: "Wonder what Ted Danson thinks now."

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5. Miscellaneous Topics

Throughout the episode, Armstrong & Getty intersperse their main discussions with lighter, more personal stories and tangents.

Home Renovation Anecdote: Ryan Seacrest shares his frustrations with securing a home equity line of credit due to bureaucratic hurdles:

[26:04] Ryan Seacrest: "We've been doing this remodel project... they have to send an appraiser out, and he has to delay a week because he's on vacation or something like that."

Trader Joe's Trivia: The hosts engage in playful banter about a peculiar situation where a new Trader Joe's store opened adjacent to an existing one:

[42:31] Ryan Seacrest: "Customer love it. While stone cashiers have never been more confused."

They humorously explore the oddity of duplicate store locations:

[43:42] Ryan Seacrest: "All of the US Biggies do their manufacturing... same for insurance companies in Connecticut."

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6. Listener Emails and Final Thoughts

In the latter part of the episode, Armstrong and Getty interact with listener emails, addressing personal concerns and sharing final reflections to wrap up the show.

Listener Interaction: A listener named Eric Yahoo Crotty from Oregon writes about his concerns regarding Iran's missile capabilities and the potential threat of ballistic missiles reaching U.S. cities:

[36:03] Eric Yahoo Crotty: "How long would it take for Iran to build its own ICBMs? I'm willing to saddle up and ride a nuke Slim Pickens style to ensure this threat is eliminated."

Final Thoughts: The hosts share closing remarks filled with humor and final pieces of advice:

[45:18] Joe Getty: "All I can say is try and avoid the emergency room. I'm just thinking of all that ballpark food that you're gonna eat."

[45:50] Ryan Seacrest: "My final thought is you can't give us the loan because the doors got removed. That's correct."

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• Joe Getty on Dating Algorithms:

  [03:06] "They're trying to develop, be a little less snarky."

• Ryan Seacrest on User Engagement:

  [03:29] "It's the Facebook in reverse principle."

• Joe Getty on Polling Data:

  [16:11] "Should the US Military get involved in the conflict between Israel and Iran? Only 16%. Yes."

• Ryan Seacrest on Whoopi Goldberg's Comments:

  [31:21] "She's a dope working there with the cast of Chattering Hens."

• Joe Getty on Moral Relativism:

  [32:07] "Moral relativism is one of the most dangerous things to Western society that exists."

---

Conclusion

The "Human Taxidermy" episode of Armstrong & Getty On Demand offers a blend of sharp political commentary, social critique, and personal anecdotes. By addressing the manipulative tactics within the online dating industry, the looming threat of geopolitical conflicts, and the nuanced debates surrounding race and gender, the hosts provide a comprehensive and engaging discussion for their audience. Their ability to intertwine serious topics with humor and relatability makes this episode a compelling listen for those seeking informed and candid perspectives on contemporary issues.

Transcript

[Christina Quinn]

This is an iHeart podcast.

[Ryan Seacrest]

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[Jack Armstrong]

Your investment account with the big guys? It's actually a time machine. Log in and zoom. Welcome back to 1999. It's time for an upgrade. At public.com you can invest in almost everything. Stocks, bonds, options and more. You can even put your cash to work at an industry leading 4.1% APY. Leave your clunky, outdated platform behind at public.com go to public.com and fund your account in five minutes or less. Paid for by Public Investing, Inc. Member FINRA and SIPC. Full disclosures at public.com disclosures.

[Christina Quinn]

You don't know me yet, but I bet we have something in common. We all wish we were better functioning humans. Maybe figure out how to sleep better, have more meaningful relationships, cook more that search for practical knowledge. It's my job at the Washington Post. I host a podcast called Try this. Every episode is like an audio class and we learn together. I'm Christina Quinn. Now you know me. Check out Try this wherever you're listening. For some of us, personal finances aren't just personal. They include a lot more people than ourselves, loved ones, neighbors, the communities we call home, and the causes we hold in our hearts. At Thrivent, we help plan your financial picture with the bigger picture in mind. Because even though our business is helping guide your finances, our ambition is to make it mean so much more. Thrivent, where money means more Connect with.

[Ryan Seacrest]

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[Joe Getty]

Armstrong and Getty.

[Ryan Seacrest]

And now here's Armstrong and Getty.

[Joe Getty]

We got a number of interesting texts of the whole online dating conversation on how Match.com owns all the big companies. Now, not all of them, but most of the ones you've heard of are owned by one company. And there's some belief that they've changed the algorithm to make sure you don't match with somebody because that'd be the end of you as a customer. I mean, that kind is logical.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah, it's the, the Facebook in reverse principle. And he'd be engaged as long and as frequently as possible.

[Joe Getty]

And I feel like they can count on desperation. I hate to use that word, but you know, or desire. Desire is a better word. They can count on desire for companionship or less to keep people around. But anyway, we've got some interesting texts on that we'll get to in a little bit.

[Ryan Seacrest]

You know, I'm so a old and married that, you know, all of this, it's, it's just something I hear about. I have no personal experience whatsoever.

[Joe Getty]

I'm not married, but I have no personal experience with, with it. It sounds, it just seems awful to me. But it might be because I grew up in a world where nobody did that.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah, I had. This is a weird experience, but I was on an airplane and the guy in front of me to my left so I could see like between the seats exactly what he was doing. And he was a young guy, good looking, guys tw flipping through one of the dating sites, swiping left. And it struck me how utterly bored and listless he was doing it. It was like he was, you know, the accounting supervisor just flipping through the reports of his underlings to make sure there are no obvious mistakes. There was zero joy.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Or like not even lust. It was a weird juxtaposition of what he was doing in his obvious body language.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah, I, I get that sense from some people I know who do the online dating a lot that it's, there's, there's a certain amount of that. It's almost like out of, out of boredom. I need something to do as opposed to, you know, looking for the biggest connection and decision you're ever going to make in your life.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah, yeah. Anyway, more on that if we have time to squeeze it in. More on Whoopi Goldberg's moronic statement that being black in America is worse than being a woman in Iran or something to that effect. But first, it's the Friday tradition. Let's take a fond look back at the week that was, it's cow clips of the week sleazy feline way, implying it just called it, I think, a sleazy feline.

[Christina Quinn]

The IC continues to monitor closely. If Tehran decides to reauthorize its nuclear weapons program.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Our pilots will deal blows to the Ayatollah regime that they cannot even imagine.

[Joe Getty]

You're going to see some surprises that will make the beeper almost seem simple.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Israel identified a window to kill Ayatollah Ali Khamenei. The President says we know exactly where the so called Supreme Leader is hiding. He is an easy target. Two very simple words, a very simple unconditional surrender. Iran's Supreme Leader has said unconditional surrender is effectively out of the question. And this is a generational moment. You don't know. I may do it, I may not do it. I mean, nobody knows what I'm going to do.

[Christina Quinn]

Based on the fact that there's a substantial chance of negotiations that may or may not take place with Iran in.

[Ryan Seacrest]

The near future, I will make my.

[Christina Quinn]

Decision whether or not to go within the next two weeks.

[Ryan Seacrest]

But it's also going to end, I believe, Trump's presidency and effectively end it. Why are we so afraid of them? Why are they the biggest threat if they're a weak country that's on its knees? Because they're trying, I'm trying keep track.

[Joe Getty]

They're trying to develop, be a little less snarky.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I know you're right. That is a problem that I have. I'm sorry, no. Is that what you're doing?

[Joe Getty]

You're threat? Well, you just said threat. Would you like to rewind the tape?

[Ryan Seacrest]

And by the way, why are you.

[Joe Getty]

Being so defensive all of a sudden? You've gotten very, very defensive. And I just wonder, I must have.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Been working on this.

[Joe Getty]

I must have hit a hot spot with you or something to be so defensive here in Washington.

[Ryan Seacrest]

It was a celebration officially to mark.

[Christina Quinn]

The Army's 250th anniversary.

[Joe Getty]

Authorities say a suspected gunman impersonating officer targeted two Democratic lawmakers, the Supreme Court's.

[Jack Armstrong]

Conservative majority upholding Tennessee's ban on some.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Gender affirming medical care. The Florida Panthers are back to back Stanley cup champions.

[Christina Quinn]

Then I tried puppamin.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Our prescription helps your body secrete a special pheromone that attracts puppies.

[Christina Quinn]

I think it's very different to live in the United States. In 2025 than it is to live in Iraq.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Not if you're black, not for everybody. Not if you're is those hags.

[Joe Getty]

And it was handcuffed and marched down.

[Ryan Seacrest]

A hallway repeatedly asking, why am I being detained? Thank you for your attention to this matter. If you put that Alex Padilla clip on a loop and just played it over and over again, I think it would take me a solid seven or eight minutes to get tired of it. Right? I would still be giggling after five.

[Joe Getty]

Here's a headline that helped me get rid of my breakfast. It's therap. It's Therapy Bro Summer.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Oh, for God's sake. Can we stop naming our summers immediately?

[Joe Getty]

Stop naming summers and moons.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Hot girl Summer, Brat Summer, whatever the hell. Summer Moon, bro. What? It's therapy Summer.

[Joe Getty]

All right, so with some texts, we got this from last hour. If you don't know what we're talking about it, grab the podcast Armstrong and Getty on demand. Jack, next time don't goose step as you walk to your car and you won't have that problem. It's a very good point there. A good suggestion.

[Ryan Seacrest]

That's how he keeps his hamstrings loose.

[Joe Getty]

It's excellent for flexibility on the whole online dating thing. Online dating is fine, but it gets old. I had good experiences, but some of my friends were all men had bad experiences because. And I did read this in one article. I was reading about this because it's like 99 to 1. Women to men, you can be way choosier. Obviously, it's just math, right? Anyway, this is the way it works out. Average women all want highly desirable men, whereas average men are perfectly happy with average women. That's his take. I don't know. Somebody suggested a dating app. I'm not looking for one. After my divorce at age 38, I turned to Tinder and tried dating. For the first time in 18 years, I had some fun. Lots of fake profiles and actual prostitutes. But you just have to filter through them. Every article I've read about this said never ending bots and fake profiles. So I think that is happens. Like happens with any thing in the modern world. If.

[Ryan Seacrest]

If a.

[Joe Getty]

If a site is good and successful and working for people, it will be taken over by bots and then no longer be good.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Right.

[Joe Getty]

Until a new one comes along.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah. Boy, that's really annoying. Yeah.

[Joe Getty]

What are the bots trying to accomplish? And dating sites and what do they look like? Maybe. I don't know.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Well, I'm sure it's scammers to a large extent. But I actually have a handful of AI headlines that are kind of interesting as it's taking over the world in fits and starts. This person hallucinating, as we learned personally earlier.

[Joe Getty]

Just to end this text, after my divorce, age 38, turned to Tinder, blah blah blah, did a lot of dating, found a great gal and have had an amazing relationship for two years. Going strong.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Psych.

[Joe Getty]

I'm fat, have kids and crazy hobbies. See, he found dates, even being fat and having crazy hobbies, whatever those crazy hobbies are.

[Ryan Seacrest]

How. How crazy? Like killing neighborhood cats or human bird houses?

[Joe Getty]

Human taxidermy.

[Ryan Seacrest]

That's crazy.

[Joe Getty]

And she was willing to overlook it, apparently.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Wow. You know what? I've got a riff on that going through my head right now, but it's probably too disgusting. Probably. So for once in my life I'll restrain myself. So some AI news. Really good commentary on Tucker Carlson's conversation with Ted Cruz, which touches on his unfair style of arguing and selective facts, among other things.

[Joe Getty]

Was that a tease for later?

[Ryan Seacrest]

That's tease for later.

[Joe Getty]

Oh, okay, gotcha.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Sorry.

[Joe Getty]

And we will get to that. Yeah, we probably ought to update you on where things are with potential war with Iran since that has been kind of put on the back burner. Or maybe that's a faint, as they say. Yeah, Trump said, I'll make a decision in two weeks because they're going to do it today. I. I don't know. And where's the whole Israel's claim that we've got something that'll make the beeper operation seem like nothing? Is that coming? I don't know. Stay tuned.

[Christina Quinn]

Armstrong and Getty.

[Ryan Seacrest]

And here we have a specimen from the early 2000s, a legacy investing platform. Please don't touch the exhibit, folks. It could crash.

[Jack Armstrong]

Ready to step out of the Financial history [e-mail] you can invest in almost everything. Stocks, bonds, options and more. You can even put your cash to work at an industry leading 4.1% APY. Leave your clunky, outdated platform behind. Go to public.com and fund your account in five minutes or less. Paid for by Public Investing Inc. Member FINRA and SIPC. Full [e-mail] disclosures.

[Christina Quinn]

I'm Molly Roberts.

[Ryan Seacrest]

And I'm Drew Goins. Each Friday on Impromptu, we talk through the questions we can't stop thinking about.

[Christina Quinn]

Do we need to rethink how much we drink? Why are companies really asking workers to.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Come back to the office?

[Christina Quinn]

Does boycotting a business actually work?

[Ryan Seacrest]

Should we quit social media?

[Christina Quinn]

We're here when the news gets personal and the headlines hit home.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Join Molly and me every Friday on Impromptu from Washington Post Opinions.

[Christina Quinn]

Find impromptu wherever you get your podcasts. For some of us, personal finances aren't just personal. They include a lot more people than ourselves, loved ones, neighbors, the communities we call home, and the causes we hold in our hearts. At Thrivent, we help plan your financial picture with the bigger picture in mind. Because even though our business is helping guide your finances, our ambition is to make it mean so much more. Thrivent, where money means more. Connect with [e-mail] have you ever wiped.

[Molly Roberts]

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[Ryan Seacrest]

As an operator, someone who's been a combatant Commander of the United States, the first thing I think is, could this possibly be a ruse of some kind to kind of lull the Iranians into a false sense of security? I for one noted the President didn't say I'll make a decision after two weeks. He said within two weeks. To me, that's keeping open the possibility. So point one, could this be a way to sort of soothe the Iranians and make them feel not as jumpy.

[Joe Getty]

Former NATO commander there with that obvious point, I think. But I'm always amazed when people break down phrases like that, like it's a legal document. He said within two weeks, not after two weeks. And so if he bombed after two weeks, what, are you going to sue him or.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I mean, yeah, and I just don't know enough about the jumpiness of Iran, as General Stavridis put it, and how that affects their preparedness, say to shoot down one of our P2 stealth bombers or something. So. Well.

[Joe Getty]

But my point is Trump could come out today and say, I've decided to never bomb Iran, it was a terrible idea, I'm never doing it. And then bomb a half hour later. He's allowed to do that. So parsing his words seems weird to me. There is a poll from YouGov that came out that's getting a fair amount of attention because it's one of your respected polling organizations where all. Well, I'll hit you with the exact phrasing of the question, which is important always, if I can find it. Should the US Military get involved in the conflict between Israel and Iran? Should the US Military get involved in the conflict between Israel and Iran? Only 16%. Yes. Got to admit, I thought it was a lot higher than that. 16%. Yes. Now there are 24% unsure. But that still only brings you up to 40%. It's a 60. 40. No.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah, I have, I have quibbles. Quibbles that the question seems designed to suppress the yes vote because it is so open ended, which is not completely unfair, I will grant you, that the US Military becomes involved. I mean that can, that covers an enormous range of levels of involvement.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah. I think it's more fair than, though, than saying, should the United States help Iran bomb the Fordo nuclear site? Because there's just such a big chance when you unleash the dogs of war of it becoming more than that.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Right. Although I think pointing that out in the question is prejudicial as opposed to polling people's attitudes about bombing the Fordo site. Because that's what we're talking about. Because a certain percentage of people would essentially think what you just said and answer accordingly. If you hand them the excuse to say no in the question. That's prejudicial to me.

[Joe Getty]

You aren't surprised that even the way it's worded, it's only 16%. Yes.

[Ryan Seacrest]

No, no. Yeah, I am.

[Joe Getty]

It's pretty low.

[Ryan Seacrest]

It's very low.

[Joe Getty]

And, and a long party, you break it down by party. It largely holds up across party lines, 65% of Democrats are a no, 61% of independents are a no, and even 53% of Republicans are a no. So I don't know where that leaves you. I mean, the president shouldn't be making this decision based on polls. And, you know, if it's successful, nobody will care what this poll was.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah, I'm looking at this Gray House Polling poll that's getting so much attention because it had very different numbers and I, I don't believe I'd ever heard of this organization. I'm looking at the way the polls constructed. Seems perfectly legitimate, but it is such an outlier. See. Do you support or oppose Israel's recent military strikes against Iran's nuclear facilities and military targets? Strongly. Support is 67%.

[Joe Getty]

I find that hard to believe. I think it's 16. Shocked me for being so low, but dang near two thirds seems really high.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah, but that's a different question, though. Yeah, you caught that, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Interesting. I tell you what, it's a hell of a job sorting through information data journalism.

[Joe Getty]

Well, I, I come back often, which I hate to even mention it on the air because it destroys like half of our show, but Sarah Isger of the Dispatch, who has been involved in polling for presidential campaigns and all kinds of different stuff, super smart person, she says issue polling is very close to worthless because, because of the way you can nudge people different directions and because their no or yes doesn't necessarily reflect where they are anyway. You have a tendency to say no on things we could be brought over to. Yes, like that. Or vice versa.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Right. Yeah, that's her.

[Joe Getty]

What we usually, you know, one example might be, you hate it every time I point out that during the election, 2/3 of people said they wanted every undocumented person in the country booted out.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Right. That was a directional statement, not a literal statement. Right, yeah, yeah. Looking at them and talking about them, though, because this sort of thing is, is useful.

[Joe Getty]

I think the reverse of that would be if it becomes a bigger news story that the Trump administration is raiding farms and restaurants and whatever and booting out people that have no other crime other than being a here illegally, that's going to pull very poorly. But people at the end of the day are going to be happy that it happened. I think as a majority that we really stopped illegal immigration and finally did something about it.

[Ryan Seacrest]

If indeed that last part comes true. And this is what I was trying to express poorly. I think this sort of discussion about issues polling is useful because in Most other forms people just hear the number and say oh, how interesting. And you know, it's, that's, that is a nugget of information but it really needs to be interpreted. So my, my gripe against the point of view you just expressed this. I don't a. I don't think that's right. I think more people than you think are soft hearted about the honest, hard working illegal immigrant in America. Once they see the reality, the roundup, I say support continues to decline. The more people are confronted with the reality of it.

[Joe Getty]

Man, I think you get to the next presidential election, the party that stopped illegal immigration and did something about it is going to be rewarded rather than penalized.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Don't make me drop another C bomb. Does Congress even know? There it is, the C bomb. Does Congress even know they're supposed to pass laws?

[Joe Getty]

At this point, I'd rather hear the actual C bomb than the word you just used. That's how offensive I find it.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Armstrong and Getty.

[Jack Armstrong]

You know what's great about your investment account with the big guys? It's actually a time machine. Log in and zoom. Welcome back to 1999. It's time for an upgrade. At public.com you can invest in almost everything. Stocks, bonds, options and more. You could even put your cash to work at an industry leading 4.1% APY. Leave your clunky, outdated platform behind. Go to public.com and fund your account in five minutes or less. Paid for by Public Investing Inc. Member FINRA and SIPC. Full disclosures at public.com disclosures.

[Christina Quinn]

You don't know me yet, but I bet we have something in common. We all wish we were better functioning humans. Maybe figure out how to sleep better, have more meaningful relationships, cook more that search for practical knowledge. It's my job at the Washington Post. I host a podcast called Try this. Every episode is like an audio class and we learn together. I'm Christina Quinn. Now you know me. Check out Try this wherever you're listening. For some of us, personal finances aren't just personal. They include a lot more people than ourselves, loved ones, neighbors, the communities we call home, and the causes we hold in our hearts. At Thrivent, we help plan your financial picture with the bigger picture in mind. Because even though our business is helping guide your finances, our ambition is to make it mean so much more. Thrivent, where money means more. Connect with [e-mail] have you ever wiped.

[Molly Roberts]

With a piece of dry single ply toilet paper and wondered, is this as good as it gets? Well, it's not it gets a lot better. Thanks to the wet extra large cleaning power of Dude Wipes. They comfortably clean up whatever TP leaves behind on your behind. It's time to stop being an A hole to your B hole and start experiencing the confident clean of Dude Wipes. Available at Amazon and at major retailers nationwide. Dude Wipes Best Clean Pants down Looking.

[Drew Goins]

For a smarter way to teach your child to ride a bike and support American jobs at the same time? Most kids bikes are cheap imports, heavy, clunky and hard for kids to control. Guardian Bikes is changing that. Assembling bikes right here in the USA with plans for full US manufacturing in the next few months. It's a commitment to hire quality and American craftsmanship you can trust. Each bike is lightweight, low to the ground and built to help kids learn to ride faster, many in just one day. No training wheels needed. Guardian's patented SureStop braking system. One lever stops both wheels giving your child more control, faster stops and prevents those scary head over handlebar accidents. It's so easy even a 2 year old can do it. If you're ready to support American jobs and keep your kids Safe, head to guardianbikes.com today. You'll save hundreds compared to the competition. Join their newsletter. You'll get a free bike lock and pump. A 50 value guardian bikes built in the USA made specifically for kids driving.

[Joe Getty]

To Dodgers game tonight. Me and my son gonna be a lot of fun. Can't wait.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Just received a little communique from my wife. I think we're caught up in a Kafka novel. I'm not sure how it happened, but we are Gulag Archipelago. Some sort of bizarro bureaucratic nightmare. Well, maybe I'll describe it before the show is over. What?

[Joe Getty]

You got to give us a rough idea of what category we're talking about.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Well, my wife has been jailed for quadruple homicide and as it turns out. No, I'm kidding. No we're so we're doing this remodel project that I've talked about several times and to to ease cash flow situations because we have the but we're getting a home equity line of credit so if the contractor says hey, we need X amount right now and you know we don't have that much cash laying around, we'll say okay great, we'll just tap the line. So anyway we've been we actually switched banks because of it's boring but so the finances are completely fine, we're borrowing a tiny fraction of the value of the house, blah blah blah and the they have to send an appraiser out, and he has to delay a week because he's on vacation or something like that. So he comes out and he looks around, he says, oh, oh my. You've already taken down the railing on your back patio because it's elevated a little bit. And he says, that's okay. So that's. I mean, this house is not technically up to code now. And because the work has begun, blah, blah, blah. And so the bank lady just talked to my wife, I guess, and said, yeah, because the work had already begun, they're not sure if they can underwrite you. And I'm like, well, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second. So if the appraiser had shown up the previous day, everything would be fine. Yes. Even though we're doing the same work in the same way on the same schedule, and we need the money for the same reason, and it's the same house with the same value. It's just the day of the week your guy showed up to do the appraisal. Now everything's been queered. What are you talking about?

[Joe Getty]

You know, I. I learned one lesson. One time I didn't know this, but if an elect. If an actual electrician. Lisa's is the way it is in California, if an actual electrician, once they open something up, when they find stuff, it has to be brought up to code. So. Particularly on, like, rural properties like I'd been living on for the last 20 years, where people tend to do stuff themselves without permits and everything like that, which is one of the things I love about living in the country. But you get an actual electrician and they open up the wall, they have to bring everything up to code by law. And one time I had this, like. I was just trying to get an outlet working and I didn't know this. All I want to do is get this outlet working. And it ended up costing like $8,000.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Wow.

[Joe Getty]

Because I have to bring everything up to code.

[Drew Goins]

Wow.

[Ryan Seacrest]

So they become like ad hoc code enforcers.

[Joe Getty]

Yes.

[Ryan Seacrest]

If they see something, it's like a mandatory reporter of like, child abuse.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah, Good example.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah, I just. It's. Do. Do you think we have plenty of money to pay you back? Oh, yeah. Do you think the value of the house, Morton, covers the loan? I mean, like, by multiples. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So why can't we have the line of credit? Well, we don't underwrite already begun projects by a day.

[Joe Getty]

See, that sort of thing, bureaucracy stuff makes me insane. Like, I could.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah, I could.

[Joe Getty]

I Could become violent over bureaucracy stuff, anything. Since I was a little kid, I've always been this way. Well, because that's a rule. But it doesn't make any sense in this situation. It doesn't make any difference.

[Ryan Seacrest]

So why don't we ignore that rule? Well, it's the rule, you know, If I had enough money, I would buy the bank and walk in and fire all the employees and say, if I'd come here yesterday, you'd still have your jobs. But I'm coming today, so I'm going to fire you all because I don't employ, you know, people I meet on Tuesdays. So.

[Joe Getty]

And that's a rule. So you know what?

[Ryan Seacrest]

The blank and blank, I'm telling you. So my wife and I, we have an electrical outlet or two that's not working. Maybe I should just leave it alone then.

[Joe Getty]

Oh, you. Yeah, yeah. Or try to fix it yourself, because it might be something easy. You know, you take it out and the wire's hanging off. You put it back on or something like that.

[Ryan Seacrest]

It's just a dead outlet. It happens all the time.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Replace the outlet. They cost, like, five bucks, but, yeah, you get an electrician open that up, and they find out. Oh, no, the. The. The wire they used back, maybe that was okay back when they put it in, but now current coded, it has to be this gauge wire. So we're going to have to redo it, right?

[Ryan Seacrest]

All.

[Joe Getty]

Something like that.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Gonna rewire the house. Yeah. Fabulous. Speaking of things that ought to be rewired, how about the idiot Whoopi Goldberg, whose brain doesn't work, if it ever did?

[Joe Getty]

I want to follow this transition here.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Speaking of. It was hard. You don't get art. You're too. You're a simple man.

[Joe Getty]

Speaking of things that need to be rewired, how about Whoopi Goldberg?

[Drew Goins]

Her brain?

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yes. Okay, her brain does not work right. She is a dope working there with the cast of Chattering Hens, the hags, as I referred to them earlier on the View. She said this the other day.

[Christina Quinn]

Let's just remember, too, the Iranians literally.

[Joe Getty]

Throw gay people off of buildings.

[Christina Quinn]

They don't adhere to basic human rights.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Listen, here's the thing. Let's not. Let's not do that. Let's not do that. Because if we start with that, we have been known in this country to tie gay folks to the car. I'm sorry, but where the Iranian regime.

[Christina Quinn]

Is, 2025 is nothing compared to united hanging black people. So it is not even the same.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I Couldn't step footwear, you said. That's not what you mean to say it is the same.

[Christina Quinn]

No, it's not. The year 2025 in the United States is nothing like if I stepped foot wearing this.

[Joe Getty]

Young people, I'm sorry.

[Christina Quinn]

I think it's very different to live in the United States in 2025 than it is to live in Iraq.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Not if you're black. Not for everybody.

[Joe Getty]

Be black if you're black. Oh, Lord, it's worse to be black in America or the same as being. Living being a woman in Iran. Moral relativism. And I won't go off on that screen again, but plenty of people written this. Moral relativism is one of the most dangerous things to Western society that exists.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah, it's just.

[Joe Getty]

It's wokeism is what it is.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Whoopi damn near said that. And obviously this didn't happen. But Joe Getty, you can't criticize Hitler and his treatment of the Jews. You got in a fist fight with Jonah Goldberg once over the, you know, his. His dog posts on social media. So you've been known to hurt Jews too. What a moronic argument. And then, you know, come for that. Stay for the professional victimhood. I mean, good Lord, what an ignorant statement. Series of statements.

[Joe Getty]

Wonder what Ted Danson thinks now.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Google it. He just drops to his knees and thanks God every night. Greg Gutfeld took a shot at this subject. I hope it was sensitive and gentle. Speaking of the view, Whoopi Goldberg insisted that life in the US Is just as brutal as living in Iran. Well, in that case, lady, from now.

[Joe Getty]

On, please cover your face.

[Ryan Seacrest]

That's just. I'm sorry. Too many of his punch lines are adolescent meanness.

[Joe Getty]

Well, they are. They're just a lot of the punchlines are you're ugly or you're fat.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Or both.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah, exactly.

[Ryan Seacrest]

That's not cool. All right, how about a little bonus? Mailbag? In the mood for that?

[Joe Getty]

Yeah, it's email. It's not regular mail.

[Ryan Seacrest]

All right.

[Joe Getty]

Electronic mail is what it stands for.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yes, we receive probably a dozen actual mailed correspondence per year. Frequently it's books folks have written and would love for us to take a look at it, maybe talk about it, that sort of thing, which is fine.

[Joe Getty]

Or frequently it's the writings of maniac.

[Ryan Seacrest]

That too, Al. Anonymous rights. Where's the nationwide injunction when we need it? I can't believe it took a SCOTUS decision to allow states to stop experimental mutilation of children.

[Joe Getty]

I know.

[Ryan Seacrest]

On the rare occasion that I ever get into a Big, long serious discussion with somebody about irreversible chemical and or surgical procedures on minors. I try to ask the following questions. 1. Given that the majority of minors who believe they are of the other gender revert to believing in their original gender, that's absolutely indisputable. By the way, how can we ever justify performing experimental irreversible procedures on non grownups who may grow out of their temporary gender dysphoria? Well, that's why the pro gender bending folks lie about this stuff. They repeatedly say for the record that these are reversible treatments, they're not permanent at all, which is just a lie. And they deny that the vast majority of kids realize, no, I'm a girl, I was just afraid of puberty and I kind of like being a girl. For instance. And his second point, using the same reasoning of the so called trans community, if a child quote unquote knows they don't want to have children, why not let them choose to neuter themselves chemically or surgically as minors? Going further, there's a reason we don't let depressed children choose to end it all. They are just children. So I don't get why we even needed the SCOTUS to rule that a state can make laws governing this process. It makes it seem like a state that passes laws in the opposite direction can legalize child mutilation or child euthanasia.

[Joe Getty]

Right.

[Ryan Seacrest]

By that reasoning, the SCOTUS is treating this exactly like abortion, I. E. Letting the states decide mutilation of children is not a state's rights issue. Where is the nationwide injunction when we need it? Well, I'm gonna keep that around and reread it Monday. That is freaking brilliant. Well done, Al. I know who you are. Got this from Eric Yahoo Crotty in beautiful Astoria, Oregon. Guys, while Iran's nuclear weapons are a huge threat, the other significant factor Iranian ballistic missiles that could deliver a nuclear payload. In early June, y' all reported the Wall Street Journal story that Iran had recently ordered thousands of tons of ammonium perchlorate from China. Ammonium perchlorate and a key oxidizer has no other use than to build solid fuel rocket motors. We use ammonium perchlorate in our Minuteman intercontinental ballistic missiles, for example, already armed with medium range ballistic missiles, including one that is based on North Korean design. How long would it take for Iran to build its own ICBMs? Perhaps the type North Korea already likes. Likely Fields. I am far less concerned with US military involvement in the Persian Gulf than the prospect of a wacky regime Able to range US cities with thermonuclear warheads. In fact, I'm willing to saddle up and ride a nuke Slim Pickens style to ensure this threat is eliminated. Cheers. Reference to the great Dr. Strangelove of the 60s.

[Joe Getty]

By the way, we haven't mentioned Cringe today, which just learned about. There was a former CI CIA dude on MSNBC this morning talking about cringe. It's a common acronym I guess they throw around in the hallowed halls of intelligence agencies.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Cringe stands sounds like a James Bond villain organization that he opposes the forces of Cringe.

[Joe Getty]

I don't know who decided has to be an acronym. And sometimes I feel like they come up with acronyms and then have to jam things in them to get a word. But it's China, Russia, Iran, North Korea, then general extremists.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Okay, that's a stretch to get to Cringe. They pulled a hammy to get the spelling. You're absolutely right.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah. Is it worth playing the clip?

[Joe Getty]

No.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Okay. Okay. Plunging on. I don't know. That's kind of long. That's kind of long too. About June. Juneteenth mentions that there were still other people enslaved for six months longer in Kentucky because that was a union state that had slaves but hadn't gone over to the Confederacy. They didn't get freed to leave in longer. So let's be accurate about Juneteenth. You know, he's not quibbling, he's just pointing it.

[Joe Getty]

We aren't going to change the date. Probably.

[Ryan Seacrest]

No, probably not. And then there's some dispute as to what the fabulous Tim Sandifer said that Juneteenth. Juneteenth is her most libertarian holiday. More than July 4th. I don't see it. JT writes the declaration of Independence set a new political standard that redefined the meaning and the basis for liberty not only for our burgeoning nation, but for the world.

[Joe Getty]

July 4th at Fernando. Blow your thumbs off for liberty. We will finish strong.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Next, Armstrong and Getty.

[Jack Armstrong]

You know what's great about your investment account? With the big guys? It's actually a time machine. Log in and zoom. Welcome back to 1999. It's time for an upgrade. At public.com you can invest in almost everything. Stocks, bonds, options and more. You could even put your cash to work at an industry leading 4.1% APY. Leave your clunky, outdated platform behind at public.com go to public.com and fund your account in five minutes or less. Paid for by Public Investing Inc. Member FINRA and SIPC Full [e-mail] Disclosures.

[Christina Quinn]

There'S an efficient way to get caught up on a lot of news. It's called the seven from the Washington Post. It's a newsletter and podcast. Whether you're reading or hit play, you get seven stories you need to know and you can consume it all in just a few minutes. The 7 is out every weekday morning by 7:00am Eastern. I'm Hannah Jewell, I'm one of the writers and I host the show. Find the seven Podcast wherever you're listening. The newsletter link is waiting for you in the show. Notes for some of us, personal finances aren't just personal. They include a lot more people than ourselves, loved ones, neighbors, the communities we call home, and the causes we hold in our hearts. At Thrivent, we help plan your financial picture with the bigger picture in mind. Because even though our business is helping guide your finances, our ambition is to make it mean so much more. Thrivent where Money means more Connect with.

[Ryan Seacrest]

[e-mail] have you ever wiped with a.

[Molly Roberts]

Piece of dry single ply toilet paper and wondered, is this as good as it gets? Well, it's not. It gets a lot better. Thanks to the wet extra large cleaning power of Dude Wipes, they comfortably clean up whatever TP leaves behind on your behind mind. It's time to stop being an A hole to your B hole and start experiencing the confident clean of Dude Wipes. Available at Amazon and at major retailers nationwide. Dude Wipes Best Clean Pants down Looking.

[Drew Goins]

For a smarter way to teach your child to ride a bike and support American jobs at the same time? Most kids bikes are cheap imports, heavy, clunky and hard for kids to control. Guardian Bikes is changing that. Assembling bikes right here in the USA with plans for full US manufacturing in the next few months. It's a commitment to higher quality and American craftsmanship you can trust. Each bike is lightweight, low to the ground and built to help kids learn to ride faster, many in just one day. No training wheels needed. Guardian's patented SureStop braking system. One lever stops both wheels, giving your child more control, faster stops and prevents those scary head over handlebar accidents. It's so easy even a 2 year old can do it. If you're ready to support American jobs and keep your kids Safe, head to guardianbikes.com today. You'll save hundreds compared to the competition. Join their newsletter. You'll get a free bike lock and pump. A $50 value. Guardian bikes built in the USA made specifically for kids.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Trader Joe's just opened a new store.

[Christina Quinn]

In California that is directly across from.

[Joe Getty]

An existing Trader Joe's.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Customers love it. While stone cashiers have never been more confused.

[Joe Getty]

It's probably not interesting, but why is a Trader Joe's opening up next to a Trader Joe's close?

[Ryan Seacrest]

I suspect as soon as it's ready to go, they'll close the first one.

[Joe Getty]

You're probably right. Yeah. Okay.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah. Apparently the cashiers there are marijuana abusers. Allegedly.

[Joe Getty]

I don't know.

[Ryan Seacrest]

It's a shocking allegation.

[Joe Getty]

It's a true one. It's a true allegation.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yes. Employee. And that fits. Yes.

[Joe Getty]

Oh, okay. So it's a cultural thing at Trader Joe's shows. I worked there for, like, seven years, and it was a huge deal. Really? More so than, like, if you worked at a Ralph's.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Why? Oh, yeah. It's got, like, a hippie culture going, right? More or less, yeah. Okay. All right, little trivia question for you, everybody. You can play along at home. Shiny new dime to anybody who gets this correct. Our trade deficit, the US Trade deficit with Ireland has skyrocketed. What are we importing from Ireland that so distorted our trade balance with them?

[Joe Getty]

Ireland? Leprechauns.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Potatoes. Good guesses. I have no idea. It's actually leprechaun kidneys because they're smaller and easier to implant.

[Joe Getty]

Makes sense. Leprechaun kidneys.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Do you have a guess?

[Joe Getty]

I don't know. Guinness Bear? I have no idea.

[Ryan Seacrest]

You Shamrocks. All those weight loss drugs are manufactured in Ireland. Why?

[Joe Getty]

Why?

[Ryan Seacrest]

Because of their. They've got favorable tax stuff going on. You remember the. The push for a universal 15% tax on corporations around the world. Various, you know, countries were trying to get that going, including us, I think at the time. It's because Ireland has these incredibly lucrative tax incentives to set up your manufacturing there. So it's like all of the US Biggies do their manufacturing.

[Joe Getty]

So it's like the. How like every insurance company is in that one town in Connecticut or something because of their favorable tax laws. They have a. They. They have a PO Box there so they can claim they're there.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Right.

[Joe Getty]

Wow.

[Ryan Seacrest]

And a box car full of these drugs is worth tens of billions of dollars. I'll be damned. Gentlemen, this is Final Thoughts manifest with Armstrong and Gettys. I see you know your judo.

[Joe Getty]

Well, here's your host for Final Thoughts, Joe Getty.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Let's get a final thought from everybody on the crew to wrap up the week. There he is, Michelangelo, pressing the buttons. Michael, final thought. Jack, you talked about going to the Dodgers game. All I can say is try and avoid the emergency room. I'm just thinking of all that ballpark food that you're gonna eat.

[Joe Getty]

Oh, I'm gonna get. I'm not gonna eat till I get there so I can really let it go.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Oh, my gosh. Katie Greener, esteemed newswoman, has a final thought. Katie Dating. I just want to let you guys know I have a new hero and.

[Joe Getty]

It'S my neighbor who just put up.

[Ryan Seacrest]

A full sized flag pole with a flag that says defund the hoa. Oh, wow. Wow. Final thought for us.

[Joe Getty]

I'm going to be traveling for six hours with my teenager. Can I get more than five words out of him in six hours? That's my goal.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah.

[Drew Goins]

Wow.

[Ryan Seacrest]

It's a good goal. My final thought is you can't give us the loan because the doors got removed. That's correct. But we told you we wanted the loan to remove the doors. Oh, yes, that would have been fine, but they're already removed so we can't help you. What? Armstrong.

[Joe Getty]

And yet he wrapping up another grueling four hour workday.

[Ryan Seacrest]

So many people. Thanks. So little time. Go to Armstrong and getty.com. many delightful clicks await you there. The hot links came 80s corner. You can pick up some A G swag for your favorite A G fan. The light hoodie. Very popular even in the summertime. Drop us a note. Something we ought to be talking about. [e-mail] Will we be at war on Monday?

[Joe Getty]

Who knows? See you then. God bless America.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Armstrong and Getty. Dance like nobody's watching. Love like you've never been hurt. I was wondering, you know, what you felt about that squeezy feline way. Implying it just called me, I think a sleazy feline.

[Joe Getty]

I'm not a cat. One final message. Stop naming summers and moons.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Hot girl, Summer brat summer, whatever the hell, bro. In the moons. Have a great Friday, you mother.

[Joe Getty]

Armstrong and Getty.

[Ryan Seacrest]

And here we have a specimen from the early 2000s. A legacy investing platform. Please don't touch the exhibit, folks. It could crash.

[Jack Armstrong]

Ready to step out of the financial history [e-mail] you can invest in almost everything.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Everything.

[Jack Armstrong]

Stocks, bonds, options and more. You could even put your cash to work at an industry leading 4.1% APY. Leave your clunky, outdated platform behind. Go to public.com and fund your account in five minutes or less. Paid for by Public Investing Inc. Member FINRA and SIPC. Full [e-mail] disclosures we've all done it.

[Christina Quinn]

You see a headline but don't have time to read the whole story. Or there's so much news you're not sure what is worth your time.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Welcome. I'm Colby Ekowitz, co host of Post.

[Christina Quinn]

Reports, the weekday afternoon podcast from the Washington Post. Post Reports brings you what's relevant and revealing.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Breaking stories, politics, wellness, culture.

[Christina Quinn]

Each episode goes beyond a headline for.

[Ryan Seacrest]

The context you need.

[Christina Quinn]

Find Post Reports now wherever you're listening. For some of us, personal finances aren't just personal. They include a lot more people than ourselves, loved ones, neighbors, the communities we call home, and the causes we hold in our hearts. At Thrivent, we help plan your financial picture with the bigger picture in mind. Because even though our business is helping guide your finances, our ambition is to make it mean so much more. Thrivent where money means more. Connect with [e-mail] have you ever wiped.

[Molly Roberts]

With a piece of dry single ply toilet paper? And wonderful. Is this as good as it gets? Well, it's not. It gets a lot better. Thanks to the wet extra large cleaning power of Dude Wipes, they comfortably clean up whatever TP leaves behind on your behind. It's time to stop being an A hole to your B hole and start experiencing the confident clean of Dude Wipes. Available at Amazon and at major retailers nationwide. Dude Wipes Best clean. Pants down.

[Ryan Seacrest]

You know, some people say that Odoo.

[Joe Getty]

Business management software is like fertilizer, the.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Way it promotes growth and all. But other people say Odoo is like a magic beanstalk because it grows with your company and is also magically affordable. And there's some people who would even say Odoo's individual software programs come together to build the perfect suite.

[Joe Getty]

Like building blocks.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Well, Odoo is all of these things. Fertilizer. Magic Beanstalk. Building blocks for business. Business. So sign up [e-mail] o d o.

[Christina Quinn]

O.Com this is an I Heart podcast.