Armstrong & Getty On Demand

Episode: "I Can't Be Trusted With Liquids Nor Foods"

Date: February 5, 2026
Hosts: Jack Armstrong & Joe Getty
Podcast: iHeartPodcasts

Episode Overview

This episode launches with a detailed discussion of rising tensions in the Middle East, particularly relating to U.S. military buildup against Iran and the ongoing diplomatic negotiations. The hosts dissect American military readiness, analyze the state of Iran's regime, and reflect on shifting global alliances and economic decoupling from China. The show further highlights political humor with a rundown of Donald Trump's notorious nicknames, examines shifts in political stances on illegal immigration, and wraps up with lighter segments on Super Bowl betting and the pitfalls of cheap consumer goods.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. U.S. Military Tensions with Iran (00:28 – 09:46)

• Asset Deployment and Military Readiness

  • The hosts open by discussing the concentration of U.S. military assets in the Middle East, noting a significant buildup of F15E Strike Eagles and A10 Thunderbolt IIs in Jordan.
  • (02:13) Joe Getty: “We were burning through [artillery] at, you know, 500 units a year when we can only produce 34 units per year. It’s not difficult math to do.”
  • Discussion around depleted U.S. stockpiles due to aid to Ukraine and Israel.

• Potential for Regime Change and Offensive Intentions

  • The deployment of aircraft is framed as preparation for possible offensive action against Iran, not just a show of force.
  • (04:22) Jack Armstrong: “I certainly would not be shocked if we go full regime change… wouldn’t shock me at all.”

• Diplomatic Maneuvering

  • U.S. and Iran nuclear talks are being negotiated with American allies urging the U.S. not to escalate militarily.
  • The difficulty of diplomatic progress is highlighted as Iran moves the goalposts, seeking talks in Oman and refusing to discuss issues other than nuclear weapons.
  • (07:14) Armstrong: “Did Trump just hit him with something that… Iran will never agree to?”

• Elite Cohesion in Authoritarian Regimes

  • Armstrong introduces "elite cohesion" as crucial for regime stability, with reports Iran's may be fracturing after violent crackdowns on protests.
  • (09:07) Armstrong: “Multiples bigger than Tiananmen Square... one of the biggest put downs of a revolt ever.”

2. Political Satire: Trump’s Nicknames (11:16 – 17:01)

• Comprehensive List of Trump Nicknames
  • The hosts read and react to a lengthy list of Donald Trump's insulting nicknames for political adversaries.
  • (13:44) Armstrong: “Joe Hyden. That is pretty good. That was when he was running during the COVID and never went out.”
  • Highlights include “Low Energy Jeb,” “Mini Mike,” “Ron DeSanctimonious,” “Bird Brain,” and “Cocaine Mitch.”
  • The absurd and juvenile nature of the nicknames is a recurring joke.

3. Reflecting on Political Shifts: Illegal Immigration (17:04 – 19:32)

• Flashback: Hillary Clinton's 2008 Stance

  • They replay Hillary Clinton’s tougher rhetoric on illegal immigration from 2008, contrasting it with current positions.
  • (17:47) Clinton audio: “If they’ve committed a crime, deport them, no questions asked... you have to pay a stiff fine… try to learn English and… wait in line.”
  • (18:15) Armstrong, on crowd reaction: “Listen to the crowd cheer like crazy to ‘you need to learn English’… for the Democrat candidate.”

• Media and Party Shifts

  • The hosts argue that the majority of Americans haven’t changed on immigration, but the media and party elites have.
  • (18:36) Armstrong: “Most of America is still where Hillary was in 2008. It's just that the media has moved.”

4. U.S.-China Economic Decoupling (19:40 – 25:45)

• Economic “Divorce”: U.S. and China

  • Discussion of Wall Street Journal reporting on mutual efforts to disentangle the American and Chinese economies, citing China’s agricultural independence efforts and U.S. manufacturing shifting away from Chinese components.
  • (21:41) Getty: “They've decided they are smart and rich and capable enough now to separate from the mothership. I wish them ill.”

• Cultural Critique: Cheap Goods

  • Armstrong rails against the prevalence of cheap, low-quality Chinese products and reminisces about superior craftsmanship in consumer goods of past decades.
  • (23:57) Armstrong: “It's crap.”
  • Armstrong describes buying German pencils and a sturdy wall-mounted sharpener as examples of choosing quality over quantity.

5. Lighthearted and Odd News Segments (11:35–13:03; 25:45–32:31)

• Bizarre Hospital Story

  • The hosts riff on a news story about a French hospital being evacuated after a man arrived with a WWI artillery shell in his rectum.
  • (11:46) Getty: “That’s just crazy.”
  • (12:20) Armstrong: “He's like a World War I memorabilia collector and a bit of a purvo…”

• Super Bowl Prop Bets and Betting Culture

  • Discussion of betting on Super Bowl events such as the national anthem’s length, Gatorade color, and specific play outcomes.
  • (28:01) Armstrong: “You can bet on the length of the Super Bowl. So the over under is 119 and a half seconds. So just under two minutes is the national anthem…”
  • (29:02) Armstrong, on Neil Diamond’s record: “He must have really got to it in his tight polyester pants. 1 minute, 2 seconds. He cut it in half.”

• Food and Liquids Mishaps

  • Getty confesses to choosing shirt colors based on his likelihood to spill food or drinks on himself, summing up the episode’s title.
  • (30:17) Getty: “I can’t be trusted with liquids nor foods. So I generally match my meal and or beverage to what I’m wearing.”

6. Inflation and Economic Anxiety (33:00 – 36:25)

• U.S. Inflation Chart Breakdown
  • Getty shares data showing overall U.S. inflation has nearly doubled prices since 2000, with the greatest increases in hospital services, college tuition, and childcare.
  • (34:12) Getty: “Hospital services, number one, up 281%. That’s almost quadrupled since the year 2000.”
  • General assertion that inflation acts like a hidden tax, eroding savings and purchasing power.
  • (36:18) Armstrong: “That is so depressing. If you think about it for very long, your 401k…”
  • (36:22) Getty: “Not depressing, angering. You got to be angry. Get up off the couch, shake your fist.”

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• (04:22) Armstrong: “I certainly would not be shocked if we go full regime change… wouldn’t shock me at all.”
• (09:07) Armstrong: “Multiples bigger than Tiananmen Square... one of the biggest put downs of a revolt ever.”
• (13:44) Armstrong, on Trump’s nickname: “Joe Hyden. That is pretty good. That was when he was running during the COVID and never went out.”
• (18:36) Armstrong: “Most of America is still where Hillary was in 2008. It's just that the media has moved.”
• (23:57) Armstrong, on low-quality goods: “It's crap.”
• (30:17) Getty, on episode title inspiration: “I can’t be trusted with liquids nor foods. So I generally match my meal and or beverage to what I’m wearing.”
• (36:22) Getty, on inflation: “Not depressing, angering. You got to be angry. Get up off the couch, shake your fist.”

Chronological Segment Highlights with Timestamps

• 00:28 – 09:46: Middle East escalation, Iran, U.S. military buildup, regime change talk
• 11:16 – 17:01: Humorous, exhaustive review of Trump’s political nicknames
• 17:04 – 19:32: Past vs. present on illegal immigration, media influence
• 19:40 – 25:45: U.S.-China economic split, critique of cheap consumer products
• 11:35–13:03; 25:45–32:31: Absurd news, Super Bowl prop bets, and why Getty can't be trusted with liquids or food
• 33:00 – 36:25: Alarming statistics on inflation and its effects on American finances

Episode Tone & Style

The episode mixes sharp political insight, news analysis, nostalgia, exasperation about modern consumer culture, and rapid-fire humor. Armstrong and Getty alternate between concern, sarcasm, and levity, providing listeners with both substance and entertainment.

This summary covers all major discussion threads while spotlighting the wit, candid opinions, and signature banter that keep Armstrong & Getty's loyal audience tuning in.