I Sold Both of My Kidneys...

Summary

Armstrong & Getty On Demand

Episode: "I Sold Both of My Kidneys..."

Date: September 22, 2025
Host: Armstrong & Getty (Jack Armstrong, Joe Getty, and crew)

---

Brief Overview

This episode of Armstrong & Getty On Demand features a humorous and candid discussion about modern scams, specifically online romance scams involving “hot Ukrainian women.” The hosts, Jack, Joe, and their crew, swap stories, poke fun at their own experiences with scammers, and dissect the psychology behind why certain people fall for such tactics. The titular joke about selling both kidneys for a Taylor Swift ticket is used to segue into the main topic. The episode maintains the duo's trademark blend of satire, banter, and social insight.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Ukrainian Romance Scam Saga

• Jack's “Budding Romance”: Jack shares updates about his ongoing, obviously fake, romance with a supposed young Ukrainian woman who now claims to be expecting triplets.
  • Jack: “Some scammer is pretending to be a hot young Ukrainian who is desperately in love with me, having never met me.” [01:44]
• Scam Mechanics:
  • The group breaks down the scam’s phases: introduction, love bombing, and then a crisis (usually involving requests for money).
    • D: “It's like the introduction, then the love bombing, and then the crisis, which is where the money comes into play.” [02:46]
• Anticipating the ‘Ask’: Jack has been waiting to see how the fake girlfriend would eventually try to pivot to asking for money. The crew jokes about reversing the scam by asking the scammer for cash first.
  • C: “Hansen came up with the idea that you had her first to see how she reacts…‘I desperately need $1,000.’” [03:19]

2. How to Play Along with a Scammer

• Scammer Tactics:
  • Scammers rotate between different photos and profiles – sometimes she's blonde, sometimes brunette – clearly not bothering with internal consistency.
    • A: “That's one of the funniest parts of it is it's a bunch of different... sometimes she's a short haired brunette, sometimes she's a long haired blonde...” [04:33]
• Victim Profile:
  • The team discusses why lonely and elderly people are often the prime targets for such scams.
    • D: “...they're elderly and usually living on their own or their family isn't there to stop them from doing this.” [05:44]
    • C: “I think they're just targeting really lonely old men, to be honest with you.” [05:34]
• Fake Intimacy:
  • Jack reads aloud examples of the scammer’s overly affectionate emails that sound oddly generic and insistent on daily communication.
    • C: “Jack Armstrong. My precious diamond.” [06:08]
    • A: “Your letter was a real present for me today. That's when I responded with sup. Or more or less. You know.” [06:16]
  • The group riffs on the oddness of receiving both sexy photos and random kittens or scenic images from the scammer.
    • A: “...different pictures of hot young women and then the occasional kitten or flowers or a beach.” [07:05]

3. Reverse-Scamming & Running the Experiment

• The Reverse Ask:
  • Jack ponders asking the scammer for money himself as a social experiment.
    • C: “Give it one more round of not asking for money. Go ahead and communicate that the the hook has been set...” [08:46]
  • The crew debates the best strategy—ask for a small amount first, or double down on the love story.
    • A: “So should I play any of the game? Should I go with any of the love of my life?” [08:33]
    • D: “Absolutely. Pet names...I've been thinking about you and I've made the...I would like to come see you. Problem is I need 150.” [08:37]
    • C: “Give it one more round...let that play out for one more back and forth and then make the ask.” [08:46]

4. Reflections & Social Commentary

• Loneliness & Vulnerability:
  • While riffing, the crew acknowledges that these scams exploit real people who are lonely, offering a touch of sympathy amidst the jokes.
    • A: “As a lonely old man, I really hate that sort of talk. Hello. Hello. My dearest sweetheart. Jack.” [06:02]
• Feeding the ‘Love’:
  • The group has fun with the idea that ‘love needs to be fed’—a tip both for actual relationships and for keeping a scammer engaged.
    • A: “I'm letting love die.” [08:02]
    • D: “Love has to be fed.” [08:04]

5. Episode Wrap-Up

• The crew decides to delay their separate segment on ticket scams until tomorrow, wanting to wrap up today’s show focused on the ongoing romance scam experiment.
  • C: “Why don't we do the ticket thing tomorrow? It's interesting and long...” [08:14]

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the scam escalation process:
  • D: “It's like the introduction, then the love bombing, and then the crisis, which is where the money comes into play.” [02:46]
• On scammer inconsistency:
  • A: “That's one of the funniest parts of it...it's a bunch of different. Sometimes she's a short haired brunette, sometimes she's a long haired blonde...” [04:33]
• On targeting lonely men:
  • D: “I think they're just targeting really lonely old men, to be honest with you.” [05:34]
• On their response to being scam targets:
  • A: “As a lonely old man, I really hate that sort of talk. Hello. Hello. My dearest sweetheart. Jack.” [06:02]
• On letting the scam fade:
  • A: “I'm letting love die.” [08:02]
  • D: “Love has to be fed.” [08:04]
• On feeding the scam with fake affection:
  • C: “Jack Armstrong. My precious diamond.” [06:08]
  • A: “Your letter was a real present for me today. That's when I responded with sup. Or more or less. You know.” [06:16]

---

Important Segment Timestamps

• [01:04] - Episode’s scam premise joke: “I sold both my kidneys to buy a Taylor Swift ticket.”
• [01:16]–[04:33] - Jack’s Ukrainian romance scam saga; dissecting scammer tactics and reverse-scam plans.
• [04:46]–[05:44] - Who falls for these scams; victim psychology and scammer strategies.
• [06:02]–[07:07] - Reading scammer messages, “feeding” the fake relationship, and banter about being a “precious diamond.”
• [08:14]–[09:01] - Plan for the next steps in the scam experiment, setup for future episode.
• [09:01] onward - Start of ad breaks and episode wrap-up, content ends.

---

Episode Tone and Style

This episode is classic Armstrong & Getty: witty, snarky, and irreverently insightful. The hosts poke fun at themselves and the absurdity of online scams, blending satire with genuine observations about human vulnerability and loneliness. Their banter is rapid-fire, playful, and always with an edge of self-awareness.

---

“I'm letting love die.”
—Jack Armstrong, [08:02]

“It's like the introduction, then the love bombing, and then the crisis...”
—D, [02:46]

“Jack Armstrong. My precious diamond.”
—C, (reciting scam email, [06:08])

---

Summary prepared for listeners who missed the show: You’ll come away laughing, a little more informed about scam mechanics, and—if you’re Jack Armstrong—maybe a bit more cautious about checking your inbox for Ukrainian soulmates.

Transcript

[A]

This is an iHeart podcast.

[B]

Tired of spills and stains on your sofa? WashablesOfAs.com has your back. Featuring the Annabe collection, the only designer sofa that's machine washable inside and out. Where designer quality meets budget friendly prices. That's right, sofas start at just $699. Enjoy a no risk experience with pet friendly stain resistant and changeable slipcovers made with performance fabrics. Experience cloud like comfort high resilience foam that's hypoallergenic and never needs fluffing. The sturdy steel frame ensures longevity and the modular pieces can be rearranged anytime. Check out washablesofas.com and get up to 60% off your Anna Bay sofa backed by a 30 day satisfaction guarantee. If you're not absolutely in love, send it back for a full refund. No return, shipping or restocking fees. Every penny back. Upgrade [e-mail] Offers are subject to change and certain restrictions may app.

[C]

I sold both my kidneys to buy a Taylor Swift ticket. Should have thought that one through.

[A]

It's one more thing. Armstrong and Getty.

[C]

One more thing.

[A]

Before we get to the concert tickets thing, it occurs to me, Katie, that Joe being gone last week is not up to speed in my budding romance with my Ukrainian girlfriend.

[D]

Well, this is a must.

[A]

Yes, I need to bring Joe up to speed on this.

[C]

Well, now I, I heard some of it, right.

[A]

But so the.

[D]

It escalated.

[A]

I haven't finished it off yet. Yeah, it's escalated quite a bit. But.

[C]

Oh, I love love. They're living good love story.

[A]

And she's with child.

[C]

Oh, with triplets.

[A]

Yes. So obviously it's a scam. Right. So however this occurred where somebody the any of the 8 million ways somebody have got could have gotten my email address. Some scammer is pretending to be a hot young Ukrainian who is desperately in love with me, having never met me. I mean, just really constantly calling.

[C]

Such is your charisma.

[A]

I guess so. My beautiful rose. Jack, why haven't I heard? Why don't I hear from you more often? All that sort of stuff.

[D]

But anyway, precious diamond.

[A]

Your precious diamond. That's right. She called me her precious diamond.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

But Hanson came up with the what.

[C]

Are the beautiful rose.

[D]

A giant rose of love.

[C]

Right? The what?

[A]

I got you giant right here. But so what I was waiting for, I was waiting for what's the scam gonna be? And I've barely played along with the, you know, nice to hear from you. How are you doing? That's all Respond and then she'll give.

[C]

Me like the language of love. Yes.

[D]

Yeah, we, we went through the process. So it's like the introduction, then the love bombing, and then the crisis, which is where the money comes into play.

[A]

Right. But the crisis hasn't occurred yet. So we were wondering what it's going to be. Is she going to say, you know, I got a bad medical diagnosis or I've been thrown in jail or my mom is sick or what it is? And I was just interested in that. Hansen came up with the idea that you had her first to see how she reacts. I mean, to say I'm in jail or I got a bad diagnosis, I desperately need $1,000.

[C]

Oh, I love that idea.

[A]

So I haven't done that yet, but I think that's a funny idea to see how the scammer reacts, that I love you so. But to be together for the rest of our lives, I need to cure this prostate cancer and I just don't have the money or whatever it is.

[C]

All right, so I know something about this and I don't remember the term, but you need to, if you want to, you know, be the mirror image of it. You ask for something really small first to establish the. The trust and the. You ramp up your requests. You don't start at $1,000.

[D]

Didn't you say something along the lines of you were going to ask for a couple hundred in order to go see her?

[A]

Right. Yeah, I'm just $300 short.

[C]

I work up to that.

[A]

I'm just a couple hundred dollars short of being able to fly to see you.

[C]

Okay, you know what? That's pretty good. Yeah. Don't ask for the whole ticket.

[A]

Finally, your beautiful rose can be ensconced in your wonderful. Whatever it is.

[D]

Yeah. You're 100 bucks short on a plane ticket.

[A]

That's all. That's all I need to fly to. To see whichever of these five different girls you keep texting me pictures of is you.

[D]

Anthony.

[C]

No, they don't even narrow it down to one fake chick.

[A]

That's one of the funniest parts of it is it's a bunch of different. Sometimes she's a short haired brunette, sometimes she's a long haired blonde. Sometimes she's kind of short and muscular. Sometimes she's tall and live. It depends. Depends on the right. The angle you get her.

[D]

She's hitting all the bases just to find out what he likes.

[A]

But that's what it. I'll bet that's what it is. You like short, muscular, Got one for You.

[C]

All right, so explain this to me. You're the. The sucker, the fish who falls for the scam.

[A]

You'd have to be beyond a. That's. That's what hooked me in the first place is it was so over the top from. From the word go. It's like you have to be a completely. Or like mentally.

[C]

Well, yeah, but that's. See, what I'm asking, Katie, Feel free to jump in, but is help me through the thought process of the guy who gets pictures of five different chicks and thinks, yeah, okay, I'm gonna send her the money or whatever.

[A]

They're all white, so they're similar. Ish.

[C]

Yeah, I think I can tell one white chick from another.

[D]

I think they're just targeting really lonely old men, to be honest with you. I mean, they.

[A]

That's so sad.

[D]

Well, no, no, I mean, Jack, they.

[C]

They.

[A]

I resemble that remark.

[D]

They shoot their shot, you know, they find an email address, clearly it's a dude, and then they. They just go for it. But I. You know all the news stories that you hear about people actually falling for these scams, they're elderly and usually living on their own or their family isn't there to stop them from doing this.

[A]

As a lonely old man, I really hate that sort of talk. Hello. Hello. My dearest sweetheart. Jack.

[C]

Jack Armstrong. My precious diamond.

[A]

Yes, handsome. Made music even. Ow.

[C]

Oh my God.

[A]

Thank you so much for your wonderful letter. Your letter was a real present for me today. That's when I responded with sup. Or more or less. You know.

[C]

Why don't you write me.

[A]

Every day if you're thinking about me? It will be impossible for us to build a happy relationship if we do not talk to each other every day.

[C]

If you do not answer point.

[A]

If you don't answer my letters, don't tell me anything about yourself and I have.

[C]

Communication is a two way street.

[A]

And I have told her nothing about myself. And I mean, she's not wrong.

[C]

She's not wrong. You're being neglectful.

[A]

Yes, Michael, I am.

[C]

You got to feed a beautiful love.

[A]

Like this one and the other thing that I like, and then we'll let you. We'll move on. Well, there's some new pictures, but it's different. Pictures of hot young women and then the occasional kitten or flowers or a beach. Yeah, those are nice.

[C]

Again, she understands you're a dude.

[A]

Here are other pleasant things to look at. I guess I don't know what that is.

[C]

Here's a kitten. Good.

[A]

Great. Is that your kitten or are you.

[C]

Giving me Are you asking me for kitten? I don't understand.

[A]

Maybe it's a language barrier. That's funny.

[C]

By the way, I liked you better when you were a foot shorter dark hair yesterday.

[A]

That really turned me on. The tall, skinny, light blonde is not. I don't know.

[C]

Try to be short and dark haired more often Since.

[A]

Since you went and got your hair lengthened, blonded and your femurs extended. I'm not as interested in you.

[C]

Oh boy. I love, love. It's fantastic.

[A]

My beautiful precious rose.

[D]

So did it go any further?

[A]

No, I never responded. So I need to do that.

[D]

Oh, see, you're letting it die.

[C]

Yeah, again, you're being neglectful.

[A]

I'm letting love die.

[D]

You're letting love die.

[A]

Love has to be fed.

[D]

She's moved on.

[A]

She may have. She found someone else.

[C]

He's just not that into you.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Any of you?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Why don't we do the ticket thing tomorrow? It's interesting and long and.

[A]

Okay. So you're thinking I will respond today then. So you're thinking a small ask like I'm trying to get to gather the money to fly to come see you. I just need 200 more dollars. Yeah, okay, I'll do that. Should I. So should I play any of the game? Should I go with any of the love of my life?

[D]

Absolutely. Pet names. I've been thinking about you and I've made the I would like to come see you. Problem is I need 150.

[C]

Give it one more round of not asking for money. Go ahead and communicate that the the hook has been set. You think she's a real girl. You're into her. Let that play out for one more back and forth and then make the ass.

[A]

I will. Okay then as soon as we get done here, I will hit her with a I missed you all weekend. I can't stop thinking about you.

[D]

Beautiful.

[A]

Of course that's how she reacted. Less time. If you can't stop thinking about me, why don't you ever write me a letter? That's a good point.

[D]

Oh, you're a busy man.

[A]

Yeah. Hey. Yeah. I got a job. I got a job. We're taking our jobs.

[C]

Jack Armstrong. My precious diamond.

[A]

That's right. You gotta love that. Well, I guess that's it.

[B]

Time for a sofa upgrade. Visit washablesofas.com and discover Annabe. Where designer style meets budget friendly prices. With sofas starting at $699. Annabe brings you the ultimate in furniture innovation with a modular design that allows you to rearrange your space effortlessly. Perfect for both small and large spaces. Anibe is the only machine washable sofa inside and out. Say goodbye to stains and messes with liquid and stain resistant fabrics that make cleaning easy. Liquid simply slides right off. Designed for custom comfort, our high resilience foam lets you choose between a sink in feel or a supportive memory foam blend. Plus our pet friendly stain resistant fabrics ensure your sofa stays beautiful for years. Don't compromise quality for price. Visit washablesofas.com to upgrade your living space today with no risk returns and a 30 day money back guarantee. Get up to 60% off plus free shipping and free returns. Shop now at washablesofas.com Offers are subject to change and certain restrictions may apply.

[A]

Ah come on. Why is this taking so long? This thing is ancient.

[E]

Still using yesterday's tech Upgrade to the ThinkPad X1 Carbon Ultra Light Ultra powerful and built for serious productivity with Intel Core Ultra processors, blazing speed and AI powered performance that keeps up with your business, not the other way around.

[A]

Whoa, this thing moves.

[E]

Stop hitting snooze on new tech. Win the tech [e-mail] Lenovo Lenovo unlock AI experiences with the ThinkPad X1 carbon powered by Intel Core Ultra processors so you can work, create and boost productivity all on one device.

[F]

This is Justin Richmond, host of Broken Record. Lexus is a company that believes in the importance of setting a standard, which I can appreciate as someone who holds themselves to lofty, if not ridiculous standards, especially with the car I drive. The standard Lexus has set for themselves is to experience amazing. Lexus measures success by the feeling and emotions evoked in a driver, like exhilaration and joy. Amazing can only be achieved by knowing people on a deeper level. The standard of amazing results in a feeling in drivers that their car was built in anticipation of them. Machines that make you feel more human because a car that doesn't make you feel something is a car that stops short of amazing experience. Amazing at your Lexus dealer.

[A]

This is an iHeart podcast.