I String My Words Together Pretty

Summary

Armstrong & Getty On Demand

Episode: "I String My Words Together Pretty"

Release Date: February 19, 2026
Podcast: Armstrong & Getty On Demand (iHeartPodcasts)

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Overview

This episode delivers the signature Armstrong & Getty blend of absurdist banter, sharp political analysis, and media criticism. The duo spends much of the show lampooning the British royal family in the wake of Prince Andrew’s legal troubles, while also warning about major global developments—most notably, the U.S. military’s preparations for a potential war with Iran, a story they argue is scandalously under-covered in the mainstream media. The hosts also touch on topics like social media addiction, political scandals, absurd lawsuits, and bizarre news items, keeping the tone satirical, irreverent, and conversational throughout.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Prince Andrew & the British Royal Family Scandal [02:19–07:04, 12:42–14:53, 20:33–21:09]

• Show Opening/Theme: The episode’s tongue-in-cheek theme, “The Art of No Deal or From the Penthouse to the Big House: The Prince Andrew Story,” launches into the developing scandal around Prince Andrew’s arrest and rumored imprisonment ("actually in irons in the Tower of London, as Joe said, and likely to be beheaded" [06:53]).
• Coverage of the Scandal: News coverage about Andrew’s alleged involvement in trading secrets with Jeffrey Epstein, sex crimes, and the implications for the monarchy is discussed at length.
• Royal Family’s Dilemma: The hosts mock the institution as outdated and question why the British public—and the American media—remain so fixated on royalty.
• Quote:
  Joe Getty (on monarchy):
  "The Royal family is stupid and always have and it’s why we went to war with them over that whole idea." [04:41]

2. Looming U.S.–Iran Conflict: Media Attention Deficit [07:11–12:14, 17:34–19:48, 23:03–27:04]

• U.S. Military Buildup: Jack and Joe break down the reports (from Axios, WSJ, NYT) of an imminent, "weeks-long sustained campaign" against Iran—drawing a contrast between the gravity of this crisis and the lack of media or public attention.
• Media Critique:
  Jack Armstrong:
  "The dog running across the finish line at the Olympics was the Iran war. And the Iran war was the dog running across the finish line. In terms of emphasis, yes." [09:45]
  Joe Getty:
  "The legal ruling on whether a wing is a nugget or not ... got more time than the possible war with Iran. Wow." [09:57]
• Why the Indifference?: The hosts lament Americans’ lack of awareness of the situation, theorizing on the disaster for public understanding if war breaks out.
• Quote:
  Jack Armstrong:
  "We're an unserious country where everybody votes and everybody gets their news from tickety tock or, you know, the stupid celebrity news that is the network news these days." [11:58]

3. U.S. Political and Social Satire [15:05–16:14, 17:18–18:53, 27:04–31:24]

• Democracy vs. Republic: Commentary on American governance:
  Jack Armstrong:
  "A pure democracy is an idiotic idea." [12:17]
• Social Media Addiction Trial: Preview of upcoming coverage of Mark Zuckerberg’s court testimony around whether Meta intentionally makes its platforms addictive.
  Joe Getty (sarcastic):
  "He denied that Meta seeks to make Instagram addictive, saying, 'I’m focused on building a community that is sustainable. I’m not trying to maximize the amount of time they spend every month on it.' ... So he lied." [21:52–21:53]
• Absurd News Segment:
  • Chicken wings lawsuit—debating whether boneless wings are nuggets.
  • Study on rotator cuff tears for adults over 40.
  • Rich people paying $120k/week to treat "longevity fixation syndrome."
  • Satirical study: you can think without posting online.

4. Notable Political Scandal: Tony Gonzalez Affair [27:50–32:42]

• Overview: Congressman Tony Gonzalez, amidst a razor-thin GOP House majority, is mired in scandal after an affair with a married aide ends in tragedy—the aide’s self-immolation.
• Impact: The hosts discuss the political fallout, the challenger’s call for Gonzalez to drop out, and the broader issue of powerful people flouting boundaries.
• Quote:
  Joe Getty:
  "My opponent’s last girlfriend set herself on fire. Is that what we want?" [30:00]

5. Humorous Sidebar Segments

• Olympic Hockey Highlights: U.S. victory over Sweden in overtime (with dramatic play-by-play) and mockery of Sweden's loss [15:17–16:14, 33:15–34:01].
• Listeners’ Emails and Mailbag: A playful rundown of listener notes, including a segment on the most dangerous sounds in nature and South Park’s legacy about "gingers have no soul" [34:01–38:24].
• Freedom Loving Quote of the Day:
  Jack Armstrong (quoting Von Mises):
  "Socialism is an alternative to capitalism as potassium cyanide is an alternative to water." [34:01]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the monarchy’s PR worries:
  Joe Getty:
  "They're really concerned with public opinion turning against the monarchy as a whole." [05:44]
• On media priorities:
  Joe Getty:
  "The legal ruling on whether a wing is a nugget or not ... got more time than the possible war with Iran." [09:57]
• On the ubiquity of ignorance:
  Jack Armstrong:
  "What percentage of Americans will think Iran is Iraq, where Saddam used to romp and play? Right." [19:48]
• On political sex scandals:
  Jack Armstrong:
  "If you’ve ever even thought of uttering, 'if we break up, I’ll do blank to myself,' you really, you really have mental health problems." [30:23]
• On social media addiction trials:
  Joe Getty:
  "You can’t claim that you weren’t trying to make a product we can’t stop using. That’s hilarious." [22:50]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Prince Andrew Scandal/Monarchy Satire: 02:19–07:04, 12:42–14:53, 20:33–21:09
• Iran War Prospects, Media Critique: 07:11–12:14, 17:34–19:48, 23:03–27:04
• Political Satire & Social Media Addiction Trial: 15:05–16:14, 17:18–18:53, 21:09–23:03
• Olympic Hockey Recap: 15:17–16:14, 33:15–34:01
• Mailbag & Dangerous Sounds Segment: 34:01–38:24
• Tony Gonzalez Scandal Discussion: 27:50–32:42

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Tone, Style, and Takeaways

Armstrong & Getty continue their trademark style: irreverent, critical, funny, and sometimes biting. The episode oscillates between serious concern (over global conflict and civic ignorance) and zany humor (mock-legal disputes over "boneless wings" and riffing on dangerous nature sounds). Anyone seeking both a summary of major news stories and a satirical, skeptical analysis of media and politics will find this episode characteristic and engaging.

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For listeners who missed the episode:
Expect a satirical takedown of the British royals, a serious warning about looming war with Iran, scathing media criticism, offbeat headlines, bizarre lawsuits, and a whirlwind of asides, all delivered with the Armstrong & Getty blend of wit, skepticism, and candor.

Transcript

[Jack Armstrong]

This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human

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[Jack Armstrong]

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[Joe Getty]

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[Jack Armstrong]

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[Jack Armstrong]

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[Jack Armstrong]

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[Jack Armstrong]

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[Jack Armstrong]

Broadcasting live from the Abraham Lincoln radio studio at the George Washington Broadcast Center,

[Commercial Announcer]

Jack Armstrong and Joe Getty.

[Jack Armstrong]

Armstrong and Getty. And now he.

[Joe Getty]

Live from Studio C, senor, a dimly lit room deep within the bowels of the Armstrong and Getty Communications compound on little Friday. And today we are toiling under the

[Jack Armstrong]

title the Art of no Deal. Or from the penthouse to the big house, the Prince Andrew story.

[Joe Getty]

Andrew the artist formerly known as Prince, who is now Andrew Windsor Mountbatten. Or is it Mountain? Whatever. What kind of name is that?

[Jack Armstrong]

Jolly well right, sir.

[Joe Getty]

Got arrested and is in in custody somewhere. They don't know where, nor nobody's Tower of London, obviously. Yeah, off with his head, I say. Yeah.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah. Let's not wait around.

[Joe Getty]

And the straw that broke the camel's back, apparently is trading state secrets billionaire Jeffrey Epstein. So not only was he sexing up underage women, denying having ever met people that then you see him within pictures. He was given state secrets to Epstein and that was too much for his brother. What was that? The straw that broke the camel's butt. Gotcha. That was a camel.

[Jack Armstrong]

Oh, the camel groaning in pain.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah, that was too much for his brother, King Chuck iii, apparently, yeah.

[Jack Armstrong]

Plus that, that high ranking aide, that big wheel in British politics who had to quit not long ago, is tied closely to Keir Starmer. He was involved in similar stuff, huge significance, insider trading, in effect, with their pal Jeffrey Epstein.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah. So the actual government is going down. Everybody says that. Right. The Prime Minister will fall here one of these days. So it would seem, although he had a week ago anyway, a 13 approval rating. And it's not just because Epstein stuff, which is kind of the way it's being portrayed in the United States. But I was listening to some British journalists. The government, people hate that government for all kinds of different reasons. They got economic problems that have landed while he's in office and all that sort of stuff that happens in the world. So the approval rating was going to be incredibly low anyway. And then you add this to it, 13%.

[Jack Armstrong]

One more note on British politics, if I might. I think it's a measure of how miserable everybody is there, that the other party, the Tories, the alleged Conservatives, who are about where the Democrats are in the United States. Honestly, they can't win an election. I mean, they got tossed out on their ears. They suck so bad in favor of Keir Starmer and his gang. Good gracious.

[Joe Getty]

Here's the most exciting thing to me as I think the Royal family is stupid and always have and it's why we went to war with them over that whole idea. I was listening to a British journalist right now saying the reason Charles moved is there at this point there we've got to protect the monarchy because the monarchy could fall. People could turn against this. You know what, this whole you get special privileges and we pay for it thing, it's got to come to an end. They're worried about that. It's still a minority of people that want to get rid of the constitutional monarchy setup they've got. But apparently, according to this one, Bridget journalist inside Buckingham palace or wherever, they're deciding this sort of stuff and they have many, many different places. Depends on whether you're going on a fox hunt or if you're having royal, you know, duties with the Prime Minister or whatever.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah, don't do a fox hunt from Buckingham Palace.

[Joe Getty]

Nah, you're not gonna find a single fox.

[Jack Armstrong]

Too much traffic or anything.

[Joe Getty]

They're really concerned with public opinion, turning it against the monarchy as a whole.

[Jack Armstrong]

So. Well, they're afraid the boot of history will get them right in the family. J Time A hello.

[Joe Getty]

That got a laugh out of Katie. How are you this morning, Katie?

[Katie Green]

I'm just delightful I'm jolly good.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah, we should, we should do the

[Joe Getty]

whole show in British accents and that

[Jack Armstrong]

won't be too annoying.

[Joe Getty]

Support of something. I don't know what it would be. I don't like the Royal Family. I think the whole thing is dumb.

[Jack Armstrong]

So, yeah, I'm more sympathetic than I used to be having asked a bunch of Brits about it, but it's definitely a weirdly mutated monster.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah, I did. I don't, I can't, I can't have any respect for it whatsoever. I've heard British people explain why it matters to them historically and everything like that, but yeah, the paying attention to their lives though. Dad, come on, don't you have more to do with your, with this small amount of time you get on planet Earth than pay attention to royals and their weddings and their offspring and the first pictures of their babies and that sort of crap? Give me a break.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah, I know it's, it's ridiculous. I just think, I think it's unhealthy for humanity.

[Joe Getty]

No, well, of course it is. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Anyway, so Prince Andrew actually, actually in irons in the Tower of London, as Joe said, and likely to be beheaded.

[Jack Armstrong]

The headsman's got his black hood on. He's got his big old double sided ax ready. He's just kind of putting a little rosin on his palms. He's getting ready.

[Joe Getty]

So Axios, the Wall Street Journal, New York Times and others reporting that, and sources are saying to these organizations that it's 90% likely we strike Iran. Now it's quite possible that's being leaked by the administration to these news organizations to let Iran know we are serious, we ain't playing. Also might be true.

[Jack Armstrong]

Which brings us back to my other title for the show, the Art of no Deal. There is not a deal taking shape with Iran. And indeed what you do when you. It's your best alternative to a negotiated settlement. It's the long acronym. But what, what do you do when there is no deal? Meanwhile, the, the talks with Hamas are a joke. They're refusing to disarm so that peace is soon to end. Ukraine and Russia, don't get me started.

[Joe Getty]

At least with the Hamas thing though, if Iran falls, that's yet another blow to that organization having any heft whatsoever. Certainly, indeed, at least Axios's reporting is, according to officials who are probably leaking this on purpose. Such is the nature of war. This will be a weeks long sustained campaign. Nothing like the strikes that we saw over the summer. This is going to look more like an Actual war.

[Jack Armstrong]

Not like the fabulously named Midnight Hammer.

[Joe Getty]

Weeks long, sustained campaign. I wonder. And since most of America, I don't think, is paying any attention to this story, I wonder how that will land politically. I have no idea.

[Jack Armstrong]

I would be fascinated to see a poll of Americans to figure out how many people understand that we're at the brink of a significant armed conflict with Iran. Biggest war, it's very small.

[Joe Getty]

Biggest war in a quarter century.

[Jack Armstrong]

What would you guess? Percentage, maybe 20?

[Joe Getty]

Boy, I don't know. 10, 10 to 15? I don't know.

[Jack Armstrong]

What's your perception, Katie? Just out of curiosity, probably what you guess. I'd think you're just trying to curry favor with him.

[Joe Getty]

But if you watch.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yes, clearly.

[Joe Getty]

If you're like 25, if, if, like Katie, me, anybody, if you're following the mainstream news, it's just not a story. Avalanches, missing women, a dog getting loose on the track at the Olympics.

[Jack Armstrong]

Very cute.

[Joe Getty]

Very cute.

[Katie Green]

Watching. I think it was ABC because I go through all of the evening news. They treated it like, oh, side note, this is happening.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah, they really do.

[Jack Armstrong]

The dog running across the finish line at the Olympics was the Iran war. And the Iran war was the dog running across the finish line. In terms of emphasis, yes. That is a society that cannot last.

[Joe Getty]

I believe the legal ruling on whether a wing is a nugget or not a buffalo wing is a chicken nugget. That legal ruling, which we need to get to later. Got more time than the possible war with Iran. Wow.

[Jack Armstrong]

I'm. I'm only barely aware of this controversy.

[Joe Getty]

Well, what are boneless wings, is the question. If you're serving boneless wings and somebody sued, what is your deal really? Those. You can't call those wings. These are nuggets. And so there needed to be a legal ruling and then it got into what if you call something a vegetarian? Buffalo wings made out of cauliflower or whatever. Clearly those are boneless and not. Were never at any point the wing of any animal as they are self evidently.

[Jack Armstrong]

Right. What then you say exactly?

[Katie Green]

They said that they're not the wings of a cauliflower.

[Joe Getty]

What the judge said. Yes. Correct.

[Jack Armstrong]

I am amused and fascinated by this legal question. The fact that it is a lawsuit. I want to find the plaintiff and beat him to death with a chicken wing. Which would take a while.

[Joe Getty]

I mean, even to our story, which we led with talking about Prince Andrew getting arrested, is getting 100 times more attention than the fact that we are on the brink of a sustained war with a major country.

[Jack Armstrong]

Well, you've got to admit though, if a second tier member of the British royal family were to go to jail, that would change everything. Oh, wait a minute. Checking. No, it would have no effect on anything at all.

[Joe Getty]

So getting back to your original question, how many people are paying any attention to it? So when the bombs start falling, I would suspect that the approval rating will be roughly 50. 50. Like everything with Trump. But a week into it and maybe we've had a plane shot down and I don't know, 15 soldiers die. What is the public opinion gonna be on having no background of why we're doing this whatsoever? Correct. Yes.

[Jack Armstrong]

We're an unserious country where everybody votes and everybody gets their news from tickety tock or you know, the stupid celebrity news that is the network news these days. Yeah. It's unsustainable. I'm just glad we have lots of guns and planes.

[Joe Getty]

So, you know, when we go back toward a monarchy is what you're saying.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yes. Well, no, the sweet spot. The founding fathers had the balance right. Come on, come on. Don't say landed white males. That's not what I mean. No, that is a republic, not a democracy. It is a democratic republic. Let's not quibble. But a pure democracy is an idiotic idea.

[Joe Getty]

You do have to tip your cat to the royal family that they've got a lot of levers to pull to try to help out a family member and keep him out of trouble. And they're, they're, they're letting him twist in the breeze.

[Jack Armstrong]

Oh no. King Chuck said no. The justice system should proceed.

[Joe Getty]

It's fine. Apparently behind the scenes, Andrew. Andrew rings a bell. Apparently behind the scenes, Prince William is a real driving force and this guy's a scumbag and has got to go.

[Jack Armstrong]

He ain't bringing us down, Uncle Purvo. Yeah, I'll bet. Wills, who seems to be a pretty straight laced guy, does not dig Uncle Purvo's lifestyle. What did they know behind this?

[Joe Getty]

Well, right, that's what I was gonna say. I'm sure William and Charles, Charles especially being the older brother, has known for years that he ain't right.

[Jack Armstrong]

Well, there was that story that I think I mentioned yesterday where Epstein and Andrew were bringing like multiple women of slatterly habits, as they used to say way back in the day to Buckingham palace for like lunches and cavorts. And if Queen Liz got wind of that, I'm sure she was really unhappy.

[Joe Getty]

Wasn't there some story if he had some bimbo sitting in the throne or something? Remember that. Remember that?

[Jack Armstrong]

That sounds vaguely familiar. Yeah.

[Joe Getty]

There's a photo came out of some harlot sitting on a throne.

[Jack Armstrong]

Harlot. That's another good one. Yeah.

[Joe Getty]

Anyway, of course, some of these people are not. They're victims. They're just plain victims. A lot of these people.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah. It's interesting. One more thought on this, then I'll shut up. The. The Epstein case continues in spite of it being unsavory. That all of these memos and stuff and emails have been put out to yield really interesting stories about the upper crust and the way they behave. And this modeling recruiter from France, super famous, like top of the industry. And how all the beautiful girls in the world wanted to be models. And he would give them modeling contracts financed by Jeffrey Epstein. They would fly all over the world. They would eat, they would drink, they would be merry. They would sit on the throne at Buckingham Palace. And occasionally they had to give up a little sex.

[Joe Getty]

And there's probably a fair number of people that are perfectly willing to make that trade.

[Jack Armstrong]

Well. Right. Yeah, we're. What the hell. It'll be fun. A little crazy. He's not so bad looking. Ends and trafficking begins.

[Joe Getty]

Right? No kidding. No kidding. We better start the show officially. We've been jabbering on for a long time. I'm Jack Armstrong, he's Joe Getty on this. It is Thursday, February 19, year 2026 where Armstrong and getting. We approve of this program.

[Jack Armstrong]

All right, let's begin. Officially, according to FCC and British royal family rules at mark extra state are unfortu. There's Raven flies it across star. Sweden ties it. And we are headed for overtime in Milan. Now Quinn Hughes. We played three and a half minutes in overtime.

[Joe Getty]

Quinn Hughes shoots.

[Jack Armstrong]

He scores.

[Joe Getty]

He scores.

[Jack Armstrong]

Quinn Hughes in overtime wins it.

[Joe Getty]

And the United States will move on and face Lavakia in the semis.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yes, of the Watch. I said you suck, Sweden. Oh, wow.

[Joe Getty]

Wow.

[Jack Armstrong]

You're like Trump.

[Joe Getty]

What?

[Jack Armstrong]

These are our allies, you idiot. Three of the four semifinal games. I'm sorry? Quarterfinal games went to overtime. Three to four. Greatest day in Olympic hockey history.

[Joe Getty]

Oh, really? And we won, so that's cool. We've got Katie's headlines on the way. And lots. So stay here.

[Jack Armstrong]

Armstrong and Getty.

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[Joe Getty]

We used up a lot of time with our silliness around Prince Andrew, so we got to get to it.

[Jack Armstrong]

Who's reporting what? It's lead story with Katie Green. Katie. All right.

[Katie Green]

Well, just because we. We have to. All of the Alphabet networks are going. Prince Andrew.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah.

[Katie Green]

At the very top.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah.

[Jack Armstrong]

Because they love royal stuff.

[Joe Getty]

And this is a big one. Yeah.

[Katie Green]

New York Times. U.S. military moves into place for possible strikes in Iran.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah. Like the biggest era of power that's ever been assembled in the Middle east since 03.

[Katie Green]

From the Washington Post, Ilya Malinin, the quad God, says the person who came to the Olympics a few weeks ago is now dust.

[Joe Getty]

That's interesting.

[Jack Armstrong]

It's the new Ilya. Science has explained his failure. It involves apes. Stay with us.

[Joe Getty]

And the blade babes ain't doing so well either. We're struggling with our ice skating.

[Katie Green]

From NBC, U2 releases, Renee Goode tribute song called American Obituary.

[Joe Getty]

Oh, my God.

[Jack Armstrong]

Both timely and hotly desired.

[Joe Getty]

Oh, my God. Oh, Bono. Oh, I'm such a fan of YouTube.

[Jack Armstrong]

No bueno, bono.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah.

[Katie Green]

New York Post rich people are developing, quote, longevity fixation syndrome and paying up to $120,000 thousand dollars a week to treat it.

[Joe Getty]

Absolutely need that story. Can't wait to hear about the rich draining the blood of the young.

[Katie Green]

Study finds rotator cuff tears found in 73% of adults over 40.

[Jack Armstrong]

What? You know, I actually talked to an athletic trainer about this.

[Joe Getty]

From what?

[Jack Armstrong]

Well, it's. It takes a lot of beating. Your rot, your shoulder's an incredibly complicated joint and your rotator cuff gets beat up through the years. Super common.

[Katie Green]

And finally, the Babylon B amazing new study suggests you can just think thoughts without posting them online.

[Jack Armstrong]

Oh, I love that. I know.

[Joe Getty]

Mine's from pat myself on the back. That's where I really damage. Oh, that'll do it. Yeah.

[Jack Armstrong]

It's awkward.

[Joe Getty]

We'll bring you up to speed on some more stories. I'm. It is going to be, I think, the biggest news story and the biggest surprise news story in America when we're all of a sudden at a full on war day after day after day after day for several weeks, which of course can always go sideways and other countries get involved or anything could happen.

[Jack Armstrong]

And what percentage of Americans will think Iran is Iraq, where Saddam used to romp and play? Right.

[Joe Getty]

Significant lots on the way. If you miss a segment, podcast Armstrong and Getty on demand.

[Jack Armstrong]

Armstrong and Gettysburg.

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[Joe Getty]

Prince Andrew's 60th birthday today, by the way. 60th birthday. That's a landmark birthday.

[Jack Armstrong]

Happy birthday.

[Joe Getty]

You're a worldwide pariah and a laughingstock. Happy birthday. You're in jail probably for the rest, probably for the rest of your life in that country. The sort of things he's done is a life sentence.

[Jack Armstrong]

The sex, right?

[Joe Getty]

The sex stuff and the trading state secret stuff could easily put him in jail the rest of his life. Wow.

[Jack Armstrong]

And King Chuck has said, hey, let it. Let the justice proceed. The justice system, do what it does. Washing my royal hands of this.

[Joe Getty]

So an hour two, we're going to have a reporter. We don't do this very often. We're actually going to have a reporter. On the social media trial that's been going on in Los Angeles, Zuckerberg was on the stand yesterday. Just a little tease for you. I was surprised by this. I thought the defense was going to be, you know, what's addictive, what's not. Nobody really knows the line on that sort of stuff. Is it, is it against the law to make your product, make a product people like so much they can't stop eating or using or watching or whatever? No, he went with. He denied that Meta seeks to make Instagram addictive, saying, I'm focused on building a community that is sustainable. I'm not trying to maximize the amount of time they spend every month on it.

[Jack Armstrong]

Oh, so he lied.

[Joe Getty]

That's just obviously not true.

[Jack Armstrong]

Testa lying? Yes. Why did he say that?

[Joe Getty]

I mean, he's got, I assume, some of the most expensive lawyers on the planet and you decided to deny you're trying to make your product something we can't put down. Well, that's just false on its face.

[Jack Armstrong]

He's a very smart guy. On the other hand, speaking of royalty, he has kingly powers that most kings would envy. Status and wealth and probably a lot of self regard. And you know, I don't blame him.

[Joe Getty]

I'm surprised because I thought so he thought he could just.

[Jack Armstrong]

He's so used to people saying yes, Mr. Zuckerberg, yes sir, that he's lost his filter for what's clearly bull less and what's not.

[Joe Getty]

Because I thought I could. I was helping you along, Mark, by saying you can't make it against the law to make a product so good people can't stop using it. That's what I, I was trying to. Because I think that's true what I just said.

[Jack Armstrong]

Sure.

[Joe Getty]

But you can't claim that you weren't trying to make a product we can't stop using. That's hilarious.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah, yeah.

[Joe Getty]

Anyway, we'll get a report on that testimony coming up in hour two.

[Jack Armstrong]

Well, it's belied by like a thousand different internal documents and emails and that sort of thing. Just amazing. Okay, looking forward to that. Here's the story we should talk about and the one I want to talk about, the one we should talk about. US gathers the most air power in the Mideast since the 2003 Iraq invasion.

[Joe Getty]

I would argue. I don't know this, but I'll bet it's true that because of technological advances it's the strongest force that's ever been gathered anywhere on the planet.

[Jack Armstrong]

And I'm serious in saying this, it probably includes the discombobulator ray. Oh yeah, that was used to like shocking, astonishing, nobody's talking about it. Science fictiony effect in snatching up Maduro. So yeah, I would agree with you. Technological advances. Yeah, you're probably right. Well said. The subhead is US is ready to strike Iran, but President Trump hasn't yet decided to do so. First of all, some of the facts, then a little analysis. Over the past few days, the US has continued to move cutting edge F35 and F22 jet fighters toward the Middle East. Second aircraft carrier loaded with attack and electronic warfare planes is on the way. Command and control aircraft vital for orchestrating large air campaigns are inbound and critical. Air defenses have been deployed to the region in recent weeks. To our bases and other places, the firepower will give the US the option of carrying out a sustained weeks long air war against Iran instead of the one and done midnight hammer strike we were discussing earlier and the talks are going on, I suspect very strongly that Iran's thinking, yeah, let's string out these talks because it always works, always works. And Trump is thinking, yeah, we're still working on Saudis in the UAE and using their airspace because that is save us a lot of fuel and let's get our air defenses up and running. And then in about a week, Kurt

[Joe Getty]

Bluey and Mark Halperin's newsletter today he wrote, this is going to be a big play for history, justice and once for all, once and for all dealing with Tehran's theocracy. This will be for history.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah. Yeah. I am seeing, just as kind of an aside, more and more folks joining us in saying out loud, you know, a lot of this is the Western world, the enlightened world against Islamism. For a while it was kind of taboo. It was out of fashion to even say that. It's always been clear to me. I don't know, it's my great gift that I couldn't give a crap what people think. It's funny going to accuse me of being an Islamophobe, whatever that is. I'm not.

[Joe Getty]

It's funny that we have enough distance after 911 that this story is not being run through that lens really. But it, it is. It's a theocracy. It's fundamentalist Muslim theocracy. Right.

[Jack Armstrong]

That's not the only challenge and that's not the only kind of totalitarian, you know, evil that we've got to face in the world. But it's a big one. Yeah.

[Joe Getty]

And it exists all around the world. And you know, there are terrorist attacks in the name of ISIS or Al Qaeda or various offshoot groups all over the place in, in Africa and France and wherever know. So yeah.

[Jack Armstrong]

One more note about the armaments the administration is assembling. Not all of the weapons the US could use to strike Iran are currently in the Middle east, nor even need to be. This is worth remembering. B tooth Stealth bombers have long trained to carry out Middle east missions directly from the US as they did in June against the Fordo plant there, or from joint US UK base at Diego Garcia in the Indian Ocean. Other long range US bombers can do the same. And in fact, Trump wrote in a social media post Wednesday, which is a curious way to communicate, but that's what he does. That quote, it may be necessary for the US to use Diego Garcia. So on a completely different topic, I can't believe we haven't Talked about this yet? Oh, coming up, science explains the quad Gods choke.

[Joe Getty]

I want to hear about that. As a guy who choked always in every athletic endeavor, I'm fascinated by that. That it reached a guy at that level.

[Jack Armstrong]

Well, right. A guy who had every bit of the confidence you lacked. He still freaked out. Yeah. Has to do with apes. Apes? Apes. It's a factor into the science anyway. Nervous apes who are terrible figure skaters. That's the experience. I'm giving it away, but yeah.

[Joe Getty]

Can't land a single quad. Right.

[Jack Armstrong]

They didn't experiment. They strapped skates on apes. They showed him a bunch of videos and oh, it went so poorly.

[Joe Getty]

They put them in the sequins and nothing. They just sat there.

[Jack Armstrong]

Right. Complete waste of time. So here's the one that I kind of sort of cringingly want to talk about. Have you heard about Congressman Tony Gonzalez? The Republican of Texas, part of the Republicans, incredibly slim majority in the House. He had an affair with his super hot young mom. Aide, married mom, broke up with her.

[Joe Getty]

And he's married. Yes, they're both married. Okay.

[Jack Armstrong]

I'm 90% sure. I think he's married. Is he?

[Joe Getty]

It's bad either way, but yeah.

[Jack Armstrong]

Right. I can't swear he is married, but anyway. And she went from Key Aid rising star to yeah, why don't you empty the trash cans and do the toilets at work and at home. Her husband of and father of her beautiful young child found out about. About all this.

[Joe Getty]

That sucks.

[Jack Armstrong]

Family fell apart, as you might expect. And she poured gasoline all over herself and set herself on fire in the backyard of her home in Uvalde, Texas, of all places.

[Joe Getty]

I saw the story, but I didn't know that this was the background on it.

[Jack Armstrong]

Wow.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah. Why did she go self immolation on this?

[Jack Armstrong]

As a show of pain, anger, self hatred. I don't know. Possibly.

[Joe Getty]

Kind of crazy.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah. Yeah. That's rough.

[Joe Getty]

Imagine explaining that to the kids.

[Jack Armstrong]

Oh my Lord, can you imagine? So anyway, the headline, I think in the Wall Street Journal is quite appropriately, Texas Republican Gonzalez faces affair allegations ahead of GOP primary and scrutiny for everything he's up to. He's done, isn't he? You can't have your girlfriend who's married with a child set herself on fire because you broke up with her and say, I'm here for the people of Texas.

[Joe Getty]

My opponent's last girlfriend set herself on fire. Is that what we want?

[Jack Armstrong]

It's too easy.

[Joe Getty]

No kidding.

[Jack Armstrong]

Top Republican challenger called for him to drop out of the primary race. Yeah. Yeah.

[Joe Getty]

Might be a Good idea.

[Jack Armstrong]

Geez Louise, your last girlfriend dropped out

[Joe Getty]

of the human race. Yeah.

[Jack Armstrong]

If you've ever even thought of uttering, you know, if we break up, I'll do blank to myself. You really, you really have mental health problems.

[Joe Getty]

Oh, my God.

[Jack Armstrong]

But this gal, and you know, they're both really good looking people and all, I just, the, the, the, the, the high flying, super hot. I can get sex when I want it set, which is not a set I belong to, oddly enough. There, there are real hazards there. These two maroons, she's hot, I'm hot, let's get together. She's got a little kid. I'm a congressman. Let's not worry about it.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah. Wealth and look. So most people have those lines drawn for them by life, right. Of how many options you have out there if you don't have those lines drawn for you, like a small percentage of people through looks and wealth, you gotta have a lot more discipline, I guess.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah. The husband, or, I'm sorry, the lawyer who represents the husband, said in an interview he wants to see Congressman Gonzalez, quote, stand before a microphone and say, I, Tony Gonzalez, admit that my conduct with this young lady is the reason of her demise. That's a lawyer talking. You know, Tony Gonzalez wasn't married to the husband. She was.

[Joe Getty]

And it's possible we're not on in Uvalde, Texas, right? No, we're on a lot of places. They might be able to hear us anyway.

[Jack Armstrong]

They can get the podcast, Armstrong and Getty on demand. They probably follow us wherever podcasts are distributed.

[Joe Getty]

It's possible he finds out she sets herself on fire and he's like, yeah, I'm not surprised. I mean, sounds about right. Yeah. That she was kind of, kind of emotional and on the edge of sane,

[Jack Armstrong]

you know, kind of possibly.

[Joe Getty]

I don't know.

[Jack Armstrong]

Well, listen, it's a tragedy. There's a lot here, and I don't want to make light of it, but yeah, it's entirely possible. They started, you know, getting it on, as it were, and he realized, holy cow, she is completely nuts. And thought, I gotta get out of this somehow.

[Joe Getty]

Oof.

[Jack Armstrong]

Oof is right.

[Joe Getty]

Man, that'd be a tough one to carry around.

[Jack Armstrong]

Fidelity, folks. Makes life so much easier.

[Joe Getty]

Whoo.

[Jack Armstrong]

Has its rewards too.

[Joe Getty]

Wow, that phone call. Yipes.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah. Bad news about your ex girlfriend. Hey, we've got Mailbag coming up. Everybody on a Cheerio. Yeah.

[Joe Getty]

And then more news a day. And we are going to talk to a reporter about the social media trial, which I think is super interesting. And there's all kinds of tentacles from the results of that trial about social media and the Internet and all kinds of different things. Possibly.

[Jack Armstrong]

So stick around, Armstrong and Getty.

[Joe Getty]

Our figure skaters, men and women, suck. But our hockey skaters, men and women, might win the gold medal. So can any of our hockey skaters do quads? Could we have it like our goalie go out there and win the figure skating or something? Because our hockey skaters are good.

[Jack Armstrong]

Really good.

[Joe Getty]

Like, best in the world.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. We're better at beating people up than twirling around in sparks. That's the frontier spirit, I believe. Here's your freedom loving quote of the day. It's actually. Actually, it is a freedom loving quote of the day, come to think of it, from the great Ludwig Von Mises and his classic Human Action, a treatise on economics. Socialism is an alternative to capitalism as potassium cyanide is an alternative to water.

[Joe Getty]

Ah, I would agree completely.

[Jack Armstrong]

Mailbag, drop us a note. Mailbagarmstrongandgetti.com Socialism will come up in a moment or two. But first, this. It's a story about a school board in Cal Unicornia voting almost unanimously to keep letting boys beat the crap out of girls on the playing field in support of transgender rights. Which we'll get to. It's big. Big city too. Big town. But Darren writes. Hello, gents. Joe often says that we are at the beginning of the end of the madness. No, Darren, no, no, no. I have no skills, but wordsmithry. I cannot build a decent table. I suck at golf, but I string words together pretty, so get it right. What I said is we are not at the beginning of the end. We're at the end of the beginning.

[Joe Getty]

Oh,

[Jack Armstrong]

but thanks for sending along the. The headline. I can't even believe it. On the topic of why redheads disproportionately convert to Islam, according to one of our other listeners.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah, I'm not sure that's statistically true,

[Jack Armstrong]

but Jashan writes, I know what's going on with the redheaded Muslims. They're just looking for a soul. And a reference to the 90s South park narrative or 2010. Gingers have no soul.

[Katie Green]

Gingers have no soul.

[Jack Armstrong]

I didn't realize south park started that. Wow. Wow. That's pretty cold. You, Sean. Wow. Moving along to Michael's three sounds in nature that you should pay heed to. They are dangerous, man. Can you play the. Yes.

[Joe Getty]

You didn't catch that segment yesterday. That was an epic, epic Armstrong and Giddy segment.

[Jack Armstrong]

It was indeed. Yeah. Can you play just the first one, Michael. That, of course, clearly, as it turns out, a branch breaking. Well, Monty from Montana writes, guys, I've been a tree area firefighter, sometimes known as a wildland firefighter for many years. I actually had a visceral reaction to hearing the crackling, falling tree sound today in the dangerous Outdoor sound segment, five weakened dead trees called snags are a constant. I'm sorry, Fire weakened and dead trees called snags are constant threat in our office. And almost every one of us has had multiple close calls. That free tree falling, crackling sound from your soundtrack is familiar to all wildland firefighters and makes most of us shudder.

[Joe Getty]

Look who's laughing now. Michael may have saved lives.

[Jack Armstrong]

That was the point with that great

[Joe Getty]

radio theater of the mind.

[Jack Armstrong]

Anyway, give a shout out to the tree area firefighters for the difficult and dangerous job they do. Thanks for doing what you do. He looks forward to every show. Thanks, Monty. And thanks for the note.

[Joe Getty]

That would all make sense to you if you go back and listen to that segment.

[Jack Armstrong]

Armstrong and Getting on Demand, the podcast. Yesterday's show. Adam writes, the dangerous sounds brought to attention by Michael are no laughing matter. I was in a tree area once. Michael couldn't come up with a word for a forest. Yeah, forest. Anyway. And witnessed an elderly man get hammered into the ground like a nail when a giant branch snapped off during a gust of wind.

[Joe Getty]

Oh, my God.

[Jack Armstrong]

And it was dirt. It was at the end of a fishing derby. It was horrible. He says, obviously, but the show must.

[Joe Getty]

Why does that make it worse? Why does the fishing derby make it worse?

[Jack Armstrong]

Well, everybody was gathered to have a good time and compete and pull fish

[Joe Getty]

out of the water so that if it had been gathered for a funeral, a bad time, it would have been better to get driven into the ground like a nail.

[Jack Armstrong]

I. I see your point, but there's more to the story. It was horrible, obviously, but the show must go on. Or the raffle, in that case. And it was really awkward because they kept calling ticket numbers that would go unclaimed, and everybody was muttering about whether or not they check the old guy's pockets.

[Joe Getty]

Oh, my God.

[Jack Armstrong]

Anyway, be safe out there, y', all, and thanks for bringing our attention to the old.

[Joe Getty]

Jim gets driven into the ground like a railroad spike. Well, with the raffle Must go on. 6, 7, 8, 2. Has anybody got that? We have a fruit basket. 6782.

[Jack Armstrong]

Hey, I got an idea.

[Joe Getty]

Last four numbers. 6, 7, 8.

[Jack Armstrong]

I saw Jim buy, like, 10 tickets. Adam. Adam, I salute you, my friend, for that email.

[Joe Getty]

God, you gotta cancel the raffle after that.

[Jack Armstrong]

I don't know. People paid money in. What, are you gonna keep it?

[Joe Getty]

Well, you're doing the first raffle. Yeah.

[Jack Armstrong]

The law is the law, man.

[Joe Getty]

What are you, Prince Andrew?

[Jack Armstrong]

You gotta fulfill your obligation.

[Joe Getty]

What are you, Prince Andrew?

[Jack Armstrong]

You know, I've got a lot more great emails. We'll squeeze them in next hour.

[Joe Getty]

That's funny. Yes. We have much more to come in hours. 2, 3, 4. We do four many segments.

[Jack Armstrong]

Hours.

[Joe Getty]

If you miss it, get the podcast. Armstrong, you get it on demand. We got a good correspondent coming up in two.

[Jack Armstrong]

Armstrong and Getty. This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed human.