I Want To Be Burried With My Obsolete Cords

Summary

Armstrong & Getty On Demand: Episode Summary Title: I Want To Be Buried With My Obsolete Cords
Release Date: February 5, 2025
Host: Jack Armstrong and Joe Getty
Platform: iHeartPodcasts

In this engaging episode of Armstrong & Getty On Demand, hosts Jack Armstrong and Joe Getty navigate a myriad of contemporary topics with their signature humor and insightful commentary. From the latest food trends to pressing societal issues, the duo ensures a rich and entertaining listen. Below is a detailed summary of the key discussions, complete with notable quotes and timestamps.

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1. Sweet Treats and Subway Surprises

The episode kicks off with a light-hearted discussion about Subway's new dessert offerings. Joe Getty highlights the introduction of an Oreo foot-long cookie, complemented by churros and pretzels.

• Joe Getty [00:24]:
  "The sandwich chain Subway has begun offering an Oreo foot long cookie which features a chocolate cookie topped with vanilla cream and crushed Oreos."
  "Both very, very good at the subway. If you're needing one of those churros."

Jack Armstrong adds enthusiasm about the churros, emphasizing their "cinnamony spice fried" flavor [00:53].

2. Legal Assurance on FBI Employees

Transitioning to more serious news, Joe Getty addresses concerns surrounding the January 6 investigations. He references a clarification from the acting Deputy Attorney General assuring that FBI employees conducting their duties ethically are safe from termination or punishment.

• Joe Getty [01:06]:
  "No FBI employee who simply followed orders and carried out their duties in an ethical manner with respect to the January six investigations is at risk of termination or other punishment."

Jack Armstrong echoes the relief, stating simply, "That's good," [01:38].

3. Surge in Army Recruiting Under Trump’s Leadership

The hosts delve into military recruitment statistics, noting a significant uptick in enlistments following Donald Trump’s election. Joe Getty attributes this surge to Trump's "bold, strong America first leadership."

• Joe Getty [01:55]:
  "Bottom line, America's youth want to serve under the bold, strong America first leadership of @ real Donald Trump."

Jack Armstrong acknowledges the improvement with, "I'd like to see those numbers play out, but it's a great sign." [02:34].

4. Defining Perfection with Obsolete Cords

Jack Armstrong introduces a humorous take on perfection by likening it to using obsolete computer cords to cure cancer.

• Jack Armstrong [02:48]:
  "If you could use obsolete computer cords to cure cancer, that would be perfection."

This leads to a nostalgic conversation about outdated technology and their sentimental value.

5. The Rise of Fake Apple Products on Facebook Marketplace

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to the proliferation of counterfeit Apple products on Facebook Marketplace. Joe Getty shares his frustrating experiences with fake AirPods and Apple Watches, highlighting the deceptive nature of these knockoffs.

• Joe Getty [04:02]:
  "A lot of those Apple products on Facebook Marketplace are fake... China is making duplicates from factories and selling them for cheap."

Jack Armstrong expresses skepticism about discerning real from fake products, questioning, "Does that mean you just can't buy used Apple products anymore?" [06:25].

6. Navigating Facebook’s Marketplace and Privacy Concerns

The conversation shifts to the complexities of using Facebook Marketplace, balancing the platform's convenience against privacy issues. Both hosts reflect on their minimal engagement with Facebook, emphasizing concerns over data privacy and the platform's invasive nature.

• Joe Getty [06:40]:
  "Worlds are colliding... It's weird how it gets this information."

Jack Armstrong discusses the challenges of maintaining anonymity, "We have to fight this in the Congress. We have to fight this in the streets." [36:10].

7. The Perils of Selfies: A Rising Trend of Fatalities

Addressing public safety, the hosts discuss the alarming increase in deaths related to taking selfies, particularly at picturesque but dangerous locations.

• Jack Armstrong [15:30]:
  "Far more people die from taking selfies than shark attacks."

They recount personal anecdotes and emphasize the dangers of risking life for a fleeting photograph, concluding with a mix of humor and concern.

8. Educational System Under Scrutiny

A critical analysis of the American education system surfaces as Joe Getty presents statistics showing a disproportionate increase in non-teaching staff compared to student enrollment since 1970.

• Joe Getty [18:18]:
  "Since 1970, enrollment in schools has increased 8%. Total education staffing has risen 84%. Most notably, non-teaching staff has increased 138%."

Jack Armstrong vehemently criticizes the system, stating, "Government schools are a giant jobs program for unions, period." [19:47], highlighting inefficiencies and misallocations in educational funding.

9. Youth Slang: Bridging the Generation Gap

The episode delves into the rapid evolution of youth slang, presenting challenges parents face in keeping up with ever-changing terminology. The hosts reference a middle school teacher who identified 31 new phrases in a single week, illustrating the dynamic nature of modern language.

• Joe Getty [21:11]:
  "My son said, dad, nobody says that."

Jack Armstrong attempts to decode terms like "Sigma," while Katie Green contributes by defining it as "used mostly among young men and referring to someone who is self-assured or independent." [24:31].

10. Satirical Take on Political Statements

In a satirical segment, the hosts humorously speculate about Trump announcing the U.S. takeover of Gaza, mocking the volatility and unpredictability of political statements.

• Jack Armstrong [30:06]:
  "Trump announcing the United States was going to take over Gaza, which it's not. And he has no intention of, I'm sure."

This fictional scenario serves as a comedic critique of political rhetoric.

11. Final Thoughts and Light-Hearted Banter

Concluding the episode, Armstrong and Getty engage in playful banter, sharing jokes and humorous predictions about fictional events like Elon Musk buying an NBA team and relocating it to Gaza.

• Jack Armstrong [34:59]:
  "My final thought is just to repeat what I said earlier. Perfection would be if you could use obsolete computer cords to cure cancer."

The segment wraps up with humorous exchanges about their everyday lives and final humorous reflections, leaving listeners with a blend of laughter and contemplation.

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Notable Quotes:

• Joe Getty [04:02]:
  "A lot of those Apple products on Facebook Marketplace are fake... China is making duplicates from factories and selling them for cheap."

• Jack Armstrong [15:30]:
  "Far more people die from taking selfies than shark attacks."

• Joe Getty [18:18]:
  "Since 1970, enrollment in schools has increased 8%. Total education staffing has risen 84%. Most notably, non-teaching staff has increased 138%."

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Conclusion: In "I Want To Be Buried With My Obsolete Cords," Armstrong and Getty adeptly balance humor with critical analysis, addressing everything from daily consumer experiences to significant societal issues. Their dynamic interplay and candid discussions provide listeners with both amusement and food for thought, making for a compelling and insightful podcast episode.

Transcript

[Jack Armstrong]

Broadcasting live from the Abraham Lincoln radio studio at the George Washington Broadcast Center, Jack Armstrong and Joe Getty. Armstrong and Getty. And now here's Armstrong and Getty.

[Joe Getty]

The sandwich chain Subway has begun offering an Oreo foot long cookie which features a chocolate cookie topped with vanilla cream and crushed Oreos. So if you see that at Subway, order it and if you see it on the subway, wait for the next train. The, the foot long, they got a foot long churro and they got a foot long pretzel. Both very, very good at the subway. If you're needing one of those churros.

[Jack Armstrong]

This cinnamony spice fried.

[Joe Getty]

I don't eat stuff like that anymore because I gave up baked goods. But yes, Katie, good. Confused.

[Katie]

No, that was my, that was going to be my question. And I thought you swore those off for the year.

[Joe Getty]

Breaking news. Ish sort of thing. Because this story is getting a fair amount of attention, I was a little worried about this clarification letter from the acting deputy Attorney General. By the way, Pam Bondi was just sworn as the Attorney General, but the deputy Attorney general just put out a letter. Let me be clear. No FBI employee who simply followed orders and carried out their duties in an ethical manner with respect to the January six investigations is at risk of termination or other punishment.

[Jack Armstrong]

That's good.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah. So I'm glad they put that out.

[Jack Armstrong]

That's good. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Joe Getty]

Some people are concerned about that. One other thing I wanted to get on because I can't believe, according to.

[Jack Armstrong]

Historians, America's hottest attorney general by like 50 miles.

[Joe Getty]

For people who keep track of that.

[Jack Armstrong]

Sort of thing, according to historians.

[Joe Getty]

I want to get this on. Should have mentioned it earlier. We've gotten a bunch of texts saying, why haven't you mentioned this yet? Our sec, Deaf Pete Hegseth, who's who wants one, who's who's ready for another? You ready for another? Said in December 2024. This is after Trump's election. The US army had its best recruiting number in 12 years. And in January of 25, the next month, the army hit its best recruiting number in 15 years. Wow. Bottom line, America's youth want to serve under the bold, strong America first leadership of @ real Donald Trump. I don't know how else you would interpret this.

[Jack Armstrong]

I'd like to see those numbers play out, but it's a great sign. I was just reading today about how miserable our recruiting has gone in in recent years.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah, it'd been bad.

[Jack Armstrong]

Speaking of bad, I've come up with a new definition of perfection. I thought of this last night I was doing a little cleaning up around the house. Now, everybody has their own definition of perfection. Maybe it's a baby's laugh. Maybe it's the will of God.

[Joe Getty]

I see what you mean.

[Jack Armstrong]

Here's my description of perfection. If you could use obsolete computer cords to cure cancer, that would be perfection.

[Joe Getty]

Oh my God.

[Jack Armstrong]

All of the. I don't even remember the name of the ends. Now the lightning cord and the USB B and you have to see for everything. Now I tell you what, you could.

[Joe Getty]

My son's got a few pair of headphones he loves that has the little trapezoid shape that like nobody else has. It's like, what, what is this?

[Jack Armstrong]

Oh, right, the trapezoid. I got some of those too. I got a couple of devices that take them. But I mean, if, if I'm like in a 12th floor apartment and there's a fire, I'm just gonna like tie together all my obsolete cords and climb down the side building because I think I have enough.

[Joe Getty]

I want to be buried with all of them like mummies used to be. If you need them in the afterlife.

[Jack Armstrong]

That'S the only time we're going to need them.

[Joe Getty]

This. So I mentioned earlier I had been on Facebook Marketplace to look for an Apple Vision Pro because I want to buy a used one. Because almost everybody who. Well, I shouldn't say this, but a lot of people who bought them decided they weren't going to use it. So they're selling them for like half price, which is perfect for me. But there are a ton of them on there. They're like unopened, new and unopened. And people say like, yeah, I bought this never to use it. Really? That seems weird. We got this text. A lot of those Apple products on Facebook Marketplace are fake. And I said I was also seeing not just Apple Vision Pros, but Apple watches, ton of ultra twos. I have the ultra one. I thought, well, maybe I'll get an ultra two if I can get a used one for 200 bucks or whatever. And earpods and all your Apple stuff, a lot of those Apple products are fake. I received a set of AirPods that were legit. AirPods had a serial number and everything. And they worked, obviously. When I finally had a problem, I took them into the Apple store. They ran a system test, turned me away saying they were fake. They wouldn't fix or replace them because they weren't real. China is making duplicates from factories and selling them for cheap. Apple doesn't they? He said, pro tip, Apple doesn't wrap their packages in plastic. That's not true. I've opened lots of Apple stuff that were in plastic. Lots of things like maybe every iPhone I've ever purchased had plastic around the box anyway. Really? Yeah, lots of them.

[Jack Armstrong]

They've all been fake.

[Joe Getty]

Fine. For years. That's okay.

[Jack Armstrong]

Are they like Chinese folks? Are. Are they, like, stealing them from the factory or making them in the factory and saying to Apple, Yeah, we made 800 of them today. Yeah, it's a pretty good day. And they actually made 900.

[Joe Getty]

You know more about this than I do. But, like, how good they are at making Nike golf clubs that are fake that look exactly like the real thing. Their knockoffs are really good. They're not.

[Jack Armstrong]

Okay, so they're stealing all of the technical data and expertise and just making a factory next door.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah. And they're making knockoffs good enough that when this guy got them and received them, obviously he thought they were real and he used them until they quit. Yeah, so. So where does that leave you? Because even the not in a box used ones, I have to wonder if it's fake. Does that mean you just can't buy used Apple products anymore? Or unless it's from somebody you 100% trust somehow?

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah, I don't know. I'm so new to this. I really don't have any idea. Quick tangent question. I know for a very, very long time you weren't on Facebook Anything. Because it's so insidious of figuring out everything you like, your life and all your connections and that sort of thing.

[Joe Getty]

And I still hate that. I've got. Remember we set up an account years ago, all of us, to try to. We thought that'd be a good way to communicate, but then we abandoned it. I still have that. It's under a gnome de plume. I don't use it for anything. I have no friends, I have no posts. But it allows me to get on Facebook Marketplace, which I was told and have since realized, that's the only place to buy and sell stuff. I mean, compared to Craigslist, the options of buyers and sellers is not even close.

[Jack Armstrong]

At one point, they were like crazy hardcore rooting out accounts that used a num de plume. I remember because they. They killed mine.

[Joe Getty]

But I don't know what would happen with Zuckerberg Come.

[Jack Armstrong]

But it's working okay.

[Joe Getty]

What would happen, though, if they rooted me out? What would that look like?

[Jack Armstrong]

Well, they just cancel the account.

[Joe Getty]

Feel free. I've tried. Been trying to cancel it for like 15 years.

[Jack Armstrong]

It's impossible. But so. But it hasn't figured out who you are and everybody you know and.

[Joe Getty]

Oh, no, it has.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah.

[Joe Getty]

But I don't have a name on there, so it doesn't hurt me any, I don't think.

[Jack Armstrong]

Okay, okay.

[Joe Getty]

Because I don't have any information on there at all. So I don't think it's hurting me. But yeah, it's. I still don't like it. And those of you who do love Facebook and most people I know do, but it's disturbing to me the way, you know, worlds are colliding, Jerry. It brings together. I mean, I've seen pictures of people that I had forgotten about 30 years ago bringing together with next door neighbors that I don't even know. It's weird how it gets this information. I have no information on my new neighbors and there's their family and now I know everything about him. And yeah, I don't like that disturbing. Yeah, I find it weird. Here's an interesting thing about my neighbor that because I did talk to him.

[Jack Armstrong]

Did you learn from Facebook?

[Joe Getty]

No, that I learned from twice convicted. He's some sort of computer expert. It's weird that, you know, I suppose in the old way, the way you should do it is you go over and get to know your neighbor and you invite him over for dinner and you learn about it that way. But instead I can creep on Facebook and see where he went to college and what his wedding pictures look like and what his degrees in and all that sort of stuff. I know, and that. Interesting. Seems weird. Yeah, but he's a supercomputer nerd expert, guy that's worked for like all the biggest tech everything. And so I went over to his house right before we went on vacation to. To D.C. or it's going to be gone for a week. And I got my Simply Safe system set up and everything like that. And I had a sitter coming in now they. But I just told him, I said, hey, we're going to be gone for a week. So I mean, if you see a U haul backed up to my house on Wednesday, it ain't me. And gave him my number and he gave me his number and everything like that because I'm new in this neighborhood. And he said, what are you going to do? And I said, I'm going to D.C. he said, yeah. He said, you know, I was there one time, I hate museums. So I thought, well, that's interesting how not my town for a guy who's like successful, educate, highly educated to say I hate museums. I'm not sure. I've ever heard anybody say that. I don't think I've ever heard anybody say that either, other than like a high school kid on a field trip.

[Jack Armstrong]

Well, right, yeah. I've seen people kind of act like they do, clearly.

[Joe Getty]

But that struck me as interesting and good for you to have the guts to say that. More people should have the guts to say things like that out aloud. I hate museums. I hate the Super Bowl. I hate, you know, other popular things.

[Jack Armstrong]

Trying to think what. What I would say you've empowered me. I just, I don't have anything at my fingertips.

[Joe Getty]

If you got any tips for how you root out fake stuff online, because I'm sure if China's making fake Apple stuff, they're making all kinds of fake stuff.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah.

[Joe Getty]

How is it. Does it. Is it going to kill off the ability to sell things used?

[Jack Armstrong]

I know. It's a huge quote unquote problem that I cannot even pretend to care about in the world of fashion because the knockoffs are so incredibly good. Well, it takes like the authentication expert for and what brand of purse to identify.

[Joe Getty]

And what's the problem with that? Obviously.

[Jack Armstrong]

All right.

[Joe Getty]

If you can't tell the difference between a fake two thousand dollar handbag and, you know, one that was fifty bucks, then what were you doing in the first place? It's a little different with electronics, though. You know, you want, oh yeah, the thing to actually function clearly. But if the function of the thing is to have the name of the brand on it so everybody knows you're rich or whatever you're trying to accomplish, that's, you know, fine. Who cares if it's fake or real?

[Jack Armstrong]

Why do you want to own it? Okay, this will fulfill that next.

[Joe Getty]

Right. A better question is why'd you buy a real one? Not how did you get duped into a fake one. Why'd you buy the real one when you could get the fake one that looks just like it?

[Jack Armstrong]

Right.

[Joe Getty]

Much better question.

[Jack Armstrong]

So, Jack, the scourge confronting many Americans, the widespread. The huge high disturbing death toll from selfies. We'll talk about the number of people who die taking the ultimate selfie coming up.

[Joe Getty]

Cool. How about those recruiting numbers for the army? Highest number in a dozen years in December. Highest number in 15 years in January. That is amazing. Is there something I'm missing there or is it all about feeling better about your country and your government?

[Jack Armstrong]

I don't know. It's a really intriguing question.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah, I'd say if you have any guesses, our text line is 415295KFTC.

[Researcher]

Armstrong and Getty researchers tell me this is about nanoparticles of decades old plastic, or only visible under a microscope, that have somehow made it into the food and water supply now being found in the human body. New research, the University of New Mexico finds alarmingly high levels of that plastic in human brains at much higher concentrations compared to the liver and kidney. And the concentrations appear to be increasing over time by 50% from 2016 to 2024. These researchers still don't know the full health impact, but they're calling for new policies around the use and disposal of plastic.

[Joe Getty]

I feel like there's a certain. Because I don't care about climate change at all. At all. I never think about it a second. This I worry about and I, it concerns me that I feel like because we're so. Climate change is in our face all the time. Those of us who are on the right side of politics have kind of rejected anything environmental.

[Jack Armstrong]

I would agree there is a bit of that. Yeah.

[Joe Getty]

And, and this plastics thing seems like a really big deal.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah. Microplastics or more significantly nanoplastics. Although I think people just start going with microplastics, which is fine. Yeah. And there's unlike climate change. I mean I say all the time, sell your park and buy some shorts. And obviously I'm trying to be amusing, but mitigation is 100% what we need to be doing if the climate indeed keeps changing in the direction that it is, and it may not. I mean it's just a no brainer. The, the other strategies are idiotic, self defeating and incredibly expensive. The micro or nanoplastics thing different. There's nothing you can do about breathing in, eating these microscopic fragments, molecules of plastic all the freaking time and then getting into all of your organs and the organs of your unborn child and everything else.

[Joe Getty]

I fried up a 2 liter coke bottle last night with ranch dressing. Pretty good.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah, I put a lot of dressing on that to make it taste good. But anyway, yeah, it worries me. And yeah, that knee jerk rejection of anything that says, hey, there's a thing that can hurt you in the environment. You're right. That's one of the costs of ridiculous overreach by activists who, as you pointed out many times through the years, they can't just stick with what is true because they think that doesn't. That's not gonna get enough people's attention. Let's just go ahead and wildly inflate all those numbers and, and pretend that for instance, a woman who died in Texas died because somebody outlawed abortion or whatever. She's got to twist the truth so much. Anyway, I think you're absolutely right and I hope science is studying this at a feverish pace. Perhaps Donald J. Will fund it instead of funding transgender comic books for Peruvians or whatever. The F was on that list. So. You know, it's funny when you're talking about how more people are aware of this, talking about it. I thought you might even say that, you know, you hope it's not the shark attacks of this year and that it'll just kind of go away and all. And it's funny, I was just in the middle of reading something that far more people die from taking selfies than shark attacks. Wow.

[Joe Getty]

That's not. That doesn't surprise me. I thought of it, but yeah, good one, Good one.

[Jack Armstrong]

Not even close. It's not a ton of people, but it's probably 5, 600 since the selfie thing really took off in 2008.

[Joe Getty]

Usually a cliff.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah. Many, many cliffs and waterfalls. Yeah, yeah. And they point out in this article that naturally, most of these incidents occur in the world's most picturex spots, picturesque spots by popular TV shows or movies.

[Joe Getty]

At least you're dying someplace pretty.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah, indeed. Yeah. Tumbling and screaming and thinking, oh, God. In a lovely setting.

[Joe Getty]

God, that would be a rough couple of seconds.

[Jack Armstrong]

I tell you what, we were at what's Yosemite Falls. That the big one that you go up and there's a fence right there at the very top. Just stunning and beautiful. And there's signs all over the place which kind of mar the view. Do not cross the fence line. Do not step out. Very slippery. People die. You will die. People will. You will be squashed on the rocks below, for God's sake. And I think it was two days after we were there. Somebody did it slipped. They're dead.

[Joe Getty]

I got some pictures of me on the other side of the fence at the Grand Canyon getting a good picture.

[Jack Armstrong]

You know, my only objection to that is if some impressionable kid sees that.

[Joe Getty]

Oh, right.

[Jack Armstrong]

And plunges to their death. But adults who do that buy the ticket, take the ride, looking at a picture of a guy on this impossibly thin, wobbly looking rock formation taking a beautiful selfie. Good luck, sir. It's going to be a nice picture if it turns out. Yeah. Yeah, good luck.

[Researcher]

Armstrong and Getty.

[Jack Armstrong]

Only one third of New York City 4th graders were deemed proficient in math, which is great for me. I can now charge twice as much when I buy them beer.

[Joe Getty]

That's a Good joke.

[Jack Armstrong]

That's pretty good joke.

[Joe Getty]

So we got something funny about young people and slang coming up, but I'm gonna hit you with some serious stuff here first. We've mentioned this I don't know how many times. I don't think it can be mentioned enough. I would love to hear the pushback against this. I don't even know what it would be. People talk about how much money we spend on schools, and anytime you try to cut back, you're gonna try to cut education. Freaking moronic argument. For the millionth time, let us hit you with these statistics because these are the latest. What is my phone doing? No idea. Trying too hard.

[Jack Armstrong]

I'm telling you, you accidentally bought a knockoff since Apple is spelled with two P's, not one. Look at it.

[Joe Getty]

I accidentally touched the picture and it was starting to do the AI figuring out. I did that the other day. Somebody sent me a picture and said, could you take this out of the background because they don't have the. The latest iPhone. I just touched it with my finger. I did that. I took a great picture the other day. The picture of Pup that I posted on Twitter that people liked. And a shoebox in the background ruined. The picture touched with my finger. Shoebox gone. Incredible. Just incredible.

[Jack Armstrong]

It's like you're Harry Potter. It's amazing.

[Joe Getty]

Or it's like. It's like I'm somebody who has a skill that is worth something, that used to be worth something, that is no longer worth anything because everybody can do it but education. This drives me nuts. What is your argument for this occurring? Since 1970, enrollment in schools has increased 8%. That's students. Total education staffing has risen 84%. Most notably, non teaching staff has increased 138%. I know we've done this administrators a million times, but I can't ever get over it when I see it on a graph. So the number of kids is. Who was looking back on 1970 and thinking like our schools were failing? Was. Was that a big thing? And to the extent that you weren't happy with your school, did you think more non teaching staff was the answer? So the number of kids has gone up 8%. The number of non teaching staff has gone up 138%. What's the argument for that?

[Jack Armstrong]

Government schools are a giant jobs program for unions, period.

[Joe Getty]

Freaking lutely.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yep. I saw Randy Weingarten live on cnn. I think it was the other day explaining why Trump is evil with what he's trying to do with, you know, charter schools and Reform and getting rid of the education department. It was like seeing Satan on the screen trying to recruit souls and drag them down to hell. It was disgusting.

[Joe Getty]

With those numbers alone, even without. Even if they were reading and doing math at proficiency, which they're not. But even if you were getting a good outcome. That's outrageous.

[Jack Armstrong]

Just from a rise had coincided indeed with a plunging results curve.

[Joe Getty]

Excellent point.

[Jack Armstrong]

It's disgusting.

[Joe Getty]

It really is. Makes me mad.

[Jack Armstrong]

Government has become a gigantic for profit industry with all of its offshoots. Anything that. Anything the government pays for. It's really, it's. It's. Well, it's unpatriotic. It's horrible. Speaking of the young people, Jack has brought this topic to us more than once. My kids are growing out of the house, thank God. So I'm only aware of this stuff peripherally, but not thank God that they're out of the house, but thank God I don't have to deal with this. And that is the dizzying speed with which slang sprouts becomes omnipresent, changes, then goes away. And how parents are trying to keep up with it just so they know what their kids are saying.

[Joe Getty]

And obviously the speed of it coming and going is so much faster in the modern era than it was back when we were young where a cool word would come along and it might hang around for a decade.

[Jack Armstrong]

Cool, for instance, probably coined by jazz musician musicians. Probably that's. And then it's still around and they make. They talk to a linguist in this piece who says there's not more of it. It just changes so much more quickly that you're more aware of it. But yeah, they start with this gal who's got text chains going with other parents. Try to stay up to speed on the words and phrases catching on with her kids and her. She got a nine year old and she was taken aback after hearing the word mewing coming out of her nine year old's mouth.

[Joe Getty]

I've heard that from my son.

[Jack Armstrong]

I didn't know what it meant, so I had to Google it. I had to ask my friend Emily to reference check. Turns out they're just referring to a type of facial exercise. You look at yourself in the mirror and you mew. It's supposed to enhance your jawline. Oh, very hot with the girls.

[Joe Getty]

Funny you'd mention that. Yeah, I just learned that like a week ago. I'd already forgotten it because it's not important to me. But yeah, Henry brought that up. It makes your jawline better. And I'm like, I thought, why do you know anything about jawlines and their importance and attractiveness? How does that entered your world?

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah, yeah. They go into the speed of the change. Blah, blah, blah. Trickle down effect among siblings has children as Young as 4 declaring that something is Susan, as in suspect or suspicious. Phil Lindsay, middle school teacher. He flags and defines the words that pop up in his classroom on social media. Be a fun account to follow as a parent.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah.

[Jack Armstrong]

In a recent video, he rattled off 31 phrases he'd heard in a single week.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah, I use sus. Recently my son said, dad, nobody says that. Okay.

[Jack Armstrong]

Betamaxing, gat, gigachad, baddie, Sigma, skibidi. The list, even the definitions and spelling iterations goes on and on.

[Joe Getty]

Freaking skibidi toilet. So what one of those in there? I wanted to know. Sigma. What's Sigma?

[Jack Armstrong]

Oh, gosh, I'm not sure. They get in. They don't define them all. They do. Yeah. Let's see. Here's what I liked. Where is it? Kim, 38, recently purchased a set of colored pencils for her niece. Upon opening the gift, instead of saying thank you, the 10 year old responded with slay, girl, slay. I assumed it was good, said Kim. Wow. Wow. Then you got a dad teasing his kid by insisting he had Riz, which you may be familiar with short for charisma, essentially. Let's see his daughter. Somebody gave him a look and said, no, you have no Riz. And started putting him down with all the insults she had in her toolbox. She went on to tell Kim that she was beta and her husband was omega. Okay, dude, that's just the Greek Alphabet. That's like out of Brave New World.

[Joe Getty]

We don't have a definition on that. I hear beta a lot.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah, it's. It's less. It's like being a mid brain. Katie, feel free to jump in at any point here.

[Katie]

I was just. Because I know you guys are dying to know what Sigma is, okay?

[Jack Armstrong]

Oh, yeah.

[Katie]

It is used mostly among young men and referring to someone who is self assured or independent or kind of replacing the lone wolf.

[Jack Armstrong]

Okay, yeah, interesting. Yeah. Beta is just not alpha. And omega, on the other hand, is like the last place.

[Joe Getty]

Darren, you're.

[Jack Armstrong]

You're the worst of the worst.

[Katie]

That's a big slam among men. I've noticed. Right now is calling somebody a beta male.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a. That's got a different. Yeah, that's popular.

[Jack Armstrong]

Calls me that. Is that bad?

[Joe Getty]

Yeah. When you're in the cage or the mask or whatever they do, whatever you.

[Jack Armstrong]

People do down in our dungeon. Yeah. Yeah. Took longer and was more expensive than we thought it'd be. But isn't that always the way? But it was worth it. You know, I'm as lost as when Jack described bitcoin right now.

[Joe Getty]

Right?

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah.

[Joe Getty]

So beta is. Got political connotations for that crowd. But then it's slightly different but similar texture for the high school kids.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah. I think political in that there's a crowd of male dom and. And I'm at least tangentially sympathetic to it. That hates that the left is constantly trying to provoke feminine femininity as a great trait for men and that you ought to be passive, stay in your place. Let the authorities tell you what to do. Let the smart women and. And they're your. Your white guilt trainer tell you what to do. It'd be a good beta male.

[Joe Getty]

So there's always a version of like something being great because that's important when you're young. Music's great, movie's great, clothes are great. So cool. Awesome. Epic busin. As my son says, sometimes that's always a word that has to exist. Comes and goes quickly.

[Jack Armstrong]

Sure.

[Joe Getty]

Busing.

[Jack Armstrong]

But what about these other terms the middle school teachers brought us? Dive preach, glazing. Phantom tax Purr. And one phrase he says isn't fit to print. He recently used sus in a work meeting but draws the line at skibidi. That one seems very nebulous. He says, I can't figure out what it means. So I give up.

[Joe Getty]

Oh my God. Don't go down. Well, do if you want to kill some time, go down the YouTube Skibidi hole.

[Katie]

Oh, it. I have disliked you since the day you told me to do that.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah. Yeah. And that's creepy.

[Jack Armstrong]

Well.

[Joe Getty]

And just dumb. So it just makes you wonder. It's fun. One of the reasons my son is homeschooled and just can't handle lots of things is though the whole Skibidi thing took off and to be part of the crowd, you had to talk Skibidi talk all the time. And he saw the videos and he just thought it was so stupid. He just couldn't participate. And by not participating in the. The hot verbiage of the day was. Was difficult.

[Katie]

It is an animated head spinning down a toilet bowl.

[Joe Getty]

That is exactly right.

[Jack Armstrong]

He is so your son. Phantom tax refers to a running gag and part of a twitch streamer. Phantoms streams in which he taxes other members when they're eating food, taking a small part of their meal.

[Joe Getty]

There's a phrase you need to Learn, get a job.

[Jack Armstrong]

Wow, man. Well. And you know, if we had an anthropologist with us, he would say, well, you realize all this stuff is just tribal signaling. It's just status seeking and.

[Joe Getty]

Sure.

[Jack Armstrong]

And saying, I'm part of the group. I'm part of the group. Don't drum me out. Don't make me an outsider.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah, I don't mind.

[Jack Armstrong]

We all participate in.

[Joe Getty]

It's the judgment from the younger crowd where I wish they understood this. Look, I understand what's going on. Doesn't bother me. I don't need to know your words. I don't feel less cool that I don't know your words. It has no effect on me.

[Jack Armstrong]

Well, that's because you're a div. Or you. You've dived or you're heading for a real deal. All right, the phantom tax one was just mystifying. Let me, let me figure out if I can figure out what deeve means.

[Katie]

The one that's driving me nuts is eight. Like, hey, Joe, you ate this segment.

[Joe Getty]

And that's a good thing.

[Katie]

That's a form of praise.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah, okay.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yes.

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yes, I did.

[Joe Getty]

I ate two giant plates of spaghetti last night. Is that the similar sort of thing?

[Katie]

No, two totally different things, Jack.

[Jack Armstrong]

You know, I don't care enough to actually continue down this rabbit hole. I'll leave the rabbit alone. Skibidi himself. Right into, you know, the wolf's mouth or something. I don't know.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah, but it changing so fast now is definitely a newer thing.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah. Because you've got to re. Signal that tribal affiliation and that insider status over and over and over and over again. Like in a more frantic way. I mean, just again, in previous generations, the, the slang would come in, it would mutate 15% in five years. And you didn't have to be quite so enthusiastic about it.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah, it changes within the school year. I'm completely aware of that right now.

[Jack Armstrong]

It disgusted me as a teenager.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah. Right.

[Jack Armstrong]

So that's obviously a personality type.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah. We will finish strong. Next, Armstrong and Getty Trump announcing the United States was going to take over Gaza, which it's not. And he has no intention of, I'm sure. Will this be even remembered in a week? I'm not. I'm not sure.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yes, yes, it will, because it signals a major shift in policy. I don't know what exactly BB and Donnie J. Came up with or what they're thinking, but it's a signal that the status quo is over in the Middle East. The old policies, the old methods are trying to maintain Peace. They're done.

[Joe Getty]

Well, we'll be here to. To let you know the amount of news every single day is stunning.

[Jack Armstrong]

You know, I was just going through the tabs of stuff that I wanted to talk about today. Rubio in El Salvador, talking about shipping all of our illegal immigrant bad criminals and some of our domestically produced criminals, our fine American made criminals, and putting them in their giant supermax prison. They're like, hey, we could do it a lot cheaper than you can in the US It'd be win for us, win for you guys. Let's. Let's do this. And Marco's like, that's a tempting deal. Didn't even get to that huge story on any normal week.

[Joe Getty]

So I don't know why I get dressed in the dark more or less every day. I sleep alone so I could flip on the lights. Doesn't hurt.

[Jack Armstrong]

That's an interesting habit.

[Joe Getty]

But I wore jeans today that are the same shade as my blue shirt. They're exactly the same color. So it looks like I'm wearing a uniform of some sort. Like I'm gonna deliver a package or. Or. Or flowers or change oil in your car or something. And it's just. I'm happy with the whole look.

[Jack Armstrong]

Little inmatey.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah. Yeah, it's got a very inmatey look to it. Yeah, that's exactly what I look like. I look like I'm in an inmate in the prison.

[Jack Armstrong]

Well, what are you gonna do? That's not a sick.

[Joe Getty]

I'll tell you what you're gonna do. You're gonna flip on your light when you get dressed so you can wear jeans that are a slightly different shade than your shirt.

[Jack Armstrong]

Does your colorblindness factor into that at all?

[Joe Getty]

I'm not colorblind.

[Jack Armstrong]

Oh, you're not?

[Joe Getty]

No.

[Jack Armstrong]

Oh, that's right. You found out.

[Joe Getty]

It was when I got my lenses replaced. I can see color again, which is absolutely fantastic. Laser Vision center of Silicon Valley is where I got that done. I thought it was colorblind. I'm not. You do not get colorblind with age. If you think you're getting colorblind with age, that is cataracts.

[Jack Armstrong]

Wow. That is a handy hint.

[Joe Getty]

Laser ice center of Silicon Valley. Sorry.

[Jack Armstrong]

How much time do we have? Just a minute. That's too bad. Yeah. Maybe everybody just talks to themselves for a minute.

[Joe Getty]

Here's something I learned last night, too. I bought the most expensive spaghetti sauce at the grocery store. That stuff was great. It cost twice as much as the other. I don't know how some old Italian mom even Takes the time to make homemade spaghetti sauce anymore. You buy the good spaghetti sauce in a jar. It's really good.

[Jack Armstrong]

Was it kind of chunky style?

[Joe Getty]

It was chunky ish. And the ingredients on it were tomatoes, oregano, garlic. There was like three things. It wasn't a long list of chemicals or anything like that. I thought, I feel bad for anybody who's learned how to make really good spaghetti sauce. This is good.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah. I hate to come off as fancy pants, but the. The cheap stuff that everybody knows the brands of, I can't choke it down. Partly because it's made for children. It's made to be appealing to the whole family.

[Joe Getty]

Oh, yeah. That's only like five, six dollars more for the good stuff, right? It's final thoughts. I'm strong again. It's final thoughts. It's final thoughts. I'm strong again.

[Jack Armstrong]

Get ready With Katie green and Michelangelo.

[Joe Getty]

It's final thoughts. I'm strong again. That's one of the all time best. Best of those we've ever had. Here's your host. Final thoughts. Joe Getty.

[Jack Armstrong]

Let's get a final thought from everybody on the crew. Wrap up the show. There is our technical director, Michelangelo. Michael. Final thought. I got a prediction. Elon Musk buys an NBA team and moves it to Gaza.

[Joe Getty]

They.

[Jack Armstrong]

They expand to the middle east. You got to come up with the name before the show's over, Mike, for the team.

[Joe Getty]

Those back to backs on the road are going to be rough. You're Gaza tonight. San Antonio tomorrow.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah. Katie Green, our steam to newswoman, has a final thought. Katie.

[Joe Getty]

All right.

[Katie]

Behind the scenes, I have been working again on Katie's corner. I've got some great videos up there. And since you guys screamed at me yesterday, yes, it is Katie's corner with a K. I was gonna say.

[Joe Getty]

I'm not looking at it until it's Katie's corner.

[Katie]

Okay, two k's.

[Jack Armstrong]

It's not cute enough with the sea. Jack, do you have a final thought?

[Joe Getty]

Yeah, I did, but I lost it. Dang it. Where did it go? It just flipped it out of my mind. I'm sorry. I'll think of it while you're doing yours.

[Jack Armstrong]

First of all, Michael, do you have the name of the team yet? The rubble. Well, you know the Utah jazz. Rubble.

[Joe Getty]

The guys are rubble.

[Jack Armstrong]

Michelangelo for the win, folks.

[Joe Getty]

That is too good.

[Jack Armstrong]

Fantastic.

[Joe Getty]

That's rough.

[Jack Armstrong]

Jack, you got one yet?

[Joe Getty]

No.

[Jack Armstrong]

This is disappointing.

[Joe Getty]

And good thoughts too.

[Jack Armstrong]

My final thought is just to repeat what I said earlier. Perfection would be if you could use obsolete computer cures to cure cancer. Do you have one? Mailbag@armstrong and getty.com armstrong and yet he.

[Joe Getty]

Wrapping up another grueling four hour workday.

[Jack Armstrong]

So many people. Thanks. So little time. Go to armstrong yeti.com check out the hot links. Well worth your clickety clicks. Pick up an ang hoodie while you're there. Very popular. Flying off shelves helps keep everybody on the payroll. There's something we ought to be talking about that you see. Send it along long [e-mail] yeah if.

[Joe Getty]

You suffer from fobo fear of. What is it I forgot that is. Anyway you cure it by getting our podcast. See you tomorrow. God bless America.

[Jack Armstrong]

Did anybody vote for Armstrong and get.

[Joe Getty]

It Taking it to a much higher level.

[Jack Armstrong]

I mean if anyone think that's bonkers, it's like, well, we're on the brink. It's true. Are you? Yep.

[Joe Getty]

Seems like there's a few kinks in that slinky.

[Jack Armstrong]

For those of you that don't understand, I have a little hard time understanding.

[Joe Getty]

Thank you.

[Jack Armstrong]

And child, listen, you know, we really need to pace ourselves if we're gonna freak out.

[Joe Getty]

Give me a joke.

[Jack Armstrong]

We have to fight this in the Congress. We have to fight this in the streets.

[Joe Getty]

Good luck. Live in peace.

[Jack Armstrong]

Armstrong and Gettysburg.