I Would Not Sign-Up for a Celebrity Roast

Summary

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Armstrong & Getty On Demand

Episode: "I Would Not Sign-Up for a Celebrity Roast"

Date: May 28, 2026
Host: Armstrong & Getty (Joe & Jack)

Episode Overview

This episode centers on the tradition of celebrity roasts, their evolution from light-hearted jabs to increasingly mean-spirited attacks, and larger questions around the boundaries of comedy, public offense, and social norms. The hosts, Jack Armstrong and Joe Getty, use recent high-profile roasts—especially the Kevin Hart and Tom Brady roasts—to discuss the culture around offensive humor, intent, and public reaction. The episode also features a memorable discussion on misattributed quotes, specifically a popular “Winnie the Pooh” saying that turns out to be apocryphal.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Misattributed Quotes and Their Cultural Impact

• [03:36–06:42]
• The hosts discuss a popular Winnie the Pooh quote:

  “What day is it? Asked Pooh. ‘It’s today,’ squeaked Piglet. ‘My favorite day,’ said Pooh.”
  Jack found it touching but discovered (with help from ChatGPT) it’s NOT actually from A. A. Milne.

• Armstrong reflects:

  “It kind of took the fun out of it for me. I mean, I like the sentiment, but I’m not gonna have a Winnie the Pooh thing framed on my wall that is made up.” (04:15, Armstrong)

• The pair joke about altered versions of the quote, highlighting the internet’s tendency to morph, misattribute, or satirize inspirational lines.

2. Celebrity Roasts: Then vs. Now

• [06:42–07:16 / 07:16–13:44]
• Originally, roasts (e.g., those of Frank Sinatra) were “light-hearted jabs” among friends; recent roasts have become much meaner.
  • Getty: “They were just kind of light-hearted jabs as opposed to, like, meanness.” (07:12)
  • Armstrong: “If you’ve watched any of the roasts in recent years…the roasts are so freaking mean. I mean, they’re just mean. And I don’t know why anybody would sign up for that.” (07:16)
• They reference the Tom Brady and Kevin Hart roasts, expressing confusion over why celebrities submit themselves to such attacks.
• Gillis as host: “Some of it was really, really funny, but some of it was super mean-spirited.” (08:13, Armstrong)

3. Examples from the Kevin Hart Roast

• [08:29–10:37]

• Clips from Shane Gillis roasting Kevin Hart are played, showing the blend of clever punchlines and harsh personal jokes:

  • Gillis:

    "When you see Kevin stand next to all normal-sized Black friends, he looks like the period at the end of a sentence." (08:47, Gillis)

  • Comment on Kevin Hart's absentee father and tough upbringing.

• Armstrong notes:

  “Your dad wasn’t raising anybody. Your dad was doing cocaine. Of course, that’s more respectable than not being around for your kids because you’re doing Jumanji 3. I thought that was a pretty funny joke and there was a lot of those.” (09:31, Armstrong)

• The discussion includes how one comedian at the roast, whose husband died by suicide, allowed (and even found therapeutic) jokes about her loss.

4. Crossing the Line: The “Bonsai Tree” Joke

• [13:44–14:31]
• The hosts highlight a particularly controversial Gillis joke about lynching:
  • Gillis:

    “Kevin’s so short that they’re gonna have to [lynch] him from a bonsai tree…Look, I understand how serious the word lynch is, but bonsai is so funny.” (13:49)

• Both Armstrong & Getty express discomfort but respect audience reaction and Hart’s ability to laugh along.
  • Armstrong: “That’s a rough joke.” (14:31)
  • Getty: “That is a rough joke. It’s interesting that whoever had that video was bleeping the word lynch.” (14:32)

5. Comedy, Offense, and Censorship

• [14:37–21:05]
• The hosts discuss societal discomfort with “dangerous” language and the way words are censored online.
• Armstrong critiques the idea that merely uttering certain words can cause irreparable damage (“pre-enlightenment…Harry Potter stuff”). (15:45, Armstrong)
• Getty links the current climate to the influence of critical theory and 'woke' censorship:

  “That’s their thing. What you said is problematic…words are violence…that’s how they silence people and capture institutions.” (16:18, Getty)

• They advocate for intent and context in humor, arguing uncomfortable jokes often unify audiences in shared values (i.e., everyone recognizes lynching is wrong).
  • Armstrong: “What’s actually going on…People laughing and groaning—is everybody saying together, ‘We don’t approve of lynching’…It’s not saying, yeah, it’s funny because I think lynching is fine.” (20:35)
  • Getty: “No, it’s a double reverse…They laugh out of discomfort and common agreement…that was out of line.” (21:02)

6. Pushback Against Outrage Culture

• [17:18–21:14]
• The hosts cite examples like Ricky Gervais—comedians who "can’t be canceled" because they’re beholden to no one.
• Armstrong discusses how some audience reactions reflect “Stockholm syndrome” to the outrage/cancellation dynamic.

  “A lot of people…were under the threat of the woke crowd, Critical Theory crowd, and just so afraid of them. They started to internalize it and say, ‘Oh my gosh, that hurt people, that did real damage,’ because they’re trying to please their torturers. But no, no harm was done.” (19:06, Armstrong)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Getty: “You know what the fuck I mean, said Pooh.” (06:17, reading an altered quote poster)
• Armstrong: “He’s a stupid freaking pig.” (06:34, joking about altered Winnie the Pooh)
• Gillis: “Kevin’s so short that they’re gonna have to [lynch] him from a bonsai tree.” (13:49)
• Armstrong: “That’s a rough joke.” (14:31)
• Getty: “People are only offended by crap because they chose to be offended by crap…The more you know about the history of lynching in this country, the harder it is to take that joke. But we can talk about it. In fact, that would be a good thing, which has been the role humor has played forever.” (20:06)
• Armstrong: “It’s not saying, yeah, it’s funny because I think lynching is fine.” (20:35)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Time | Segment/Topic | |-----------|---------------------------------------------------------------------| | 03:36 | Misattributed Winnie the Pooh quote & discussion | | 06:42 | Intro to celebrity roasts: old vs. new | | 08:29 | Shane Gillis roast jokes about Kevin Hart | | 09:31 | Discussion of roast jokes’ harshness (e.g., suicide, family) | | 13:44 | Gillis’s controversial “bonsai tree” joke | | 14:37 | Language censorship & the “magic” of forbidden words | | 15:43 | Commentary on critical theory, offense, and societal sensitivity | | 17:18 | Resistance to cancel culture—Ricky Gervais example | | 19:06 | Stockholm syndrome analogy for outrage culture | | 20:06 | The role of humor in discussing uncomfortable topics | | 20:35 | Agreement that edgy jokes can reflect collective values |

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Tone & Style

The episode maintains Armstrong & Getty’s characteristic blend of irreverence, curiosity, and skepticism toward authority and social trends. Their tone is conversational, at times sardonic but also thoughtful on deeper issues of comedy, social norms, and cultural trends.

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For Listeners

This episode is a deep dive into the changing landscape of public humor, offense, and the cultural battles of the 2020s. It will resonate with listeners interested in comedy, free speech, cancel culture, and the complicated line between tastelessness and truth-telling in modern society.

Transcript

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[Armstrong]

Sign up for a Celebrity Roast It's One More Thing Armstrong and Getty One More Thing.

[Getty]

Looks like we're canceling the roast, Michael.

[Armstrong]

That sucks.

[Getty]

We're going to do a surprise roast.

[Armstrong]

We got a couple of clips from from the Roast of Kevin Hart that aired somewhere Netflix or someplace the other day. But before we get to that, Joe had such a great quote for us during the show today. I wanted to get a framed poster of it.

[Getty]

Yeah, it's Winnie the Pooh and Piglet having a conversation. Winnie the Pooh. Pooh, as he's known, said, what day is it? Asked Pooh. It's today, squeaked Piglet. My favorite day, said Pooh. Which was sweet simplicity that made the Winnie the Pooh cartoon so wonderful. And it's a beautiful thought.

[Armstrong]

And I thought that thought that was so fantastic. Just, you know, focusing on life one day at a time sort of vibe that I went on chat GPD and said where can I where can I find a poster of this? And there's a to get framed and everything. There's a lot of really high quality posters of it. But Chat GBT pointed out, by the way, worth telling you, that Milne, the guy who wrote Winnie the Pooh this, he never wrote this. That was never in any Winnie the Pooh anything ever. Somehow it just caught on and became popular and people repeat it all the time and there are T shirts and posters, but it's not actually from Winnie the Pooh, which kind of took the fun out of it for me. I mean, I like the sentiment, but I'M not gonna have a Winnie the Pooh thing framed on my wall. That is made up. It'd be like a really great quote. And you got a picture of Lincoln on the wall and the quote next to it, you know. L never said that. But he could have.

[Getty]

I've actually run into that lately. Nice people too. So I. I just can't get into the specifics. But they have like a powerful quote on the wall, but it's attributed to. I don't want to use the actual name.

[Armstrong]

Churchill or Lincoln or whoever.

[Getty]

Yeah, but much more contemporary.

[Armstrong]

Okay.

[Getty]

And it's not a quote from them. They didn't make that up at all. But they bought it and put it on their wall because it spoke to them. Well, like the Winnie the Pooh thing, which is not. Pooh spoke to you.

[Armstrong]

Well, yeah. And I don't want to mod people. You shouldn't have to go out and do a bunch of research, should you, to make sure that a quote on a poster that you can buy is real. I don't know.

[Getty]

Yeah, it's not, though. So we received a number of links to places to buy a poster and a couple of people saying, hey, dudes, I got bad news for you. As we were just describing, my favorite one came from John and he sent along a beautiful poster of the quote, slightly changed. What day is it? Asked Pooh. It's today, squeaked Piglet. You know, what the fuck I mean, said Pooh.

[Armstrong]

I like that one. So I actually was thinking about have that in a hallway. Have on one side the nice heartfelt one and then on the other side, I don't, you know what the. I'm asking here.

[Getty]

I mean, the day of the week, that's the director's cut.

[Armstrong]

He's stupid. Freaking pig.

[Getty]

That's what I get for hanging around with a pig.

[Armstrong]

You know, it's that sort of language that they'd appreciated a celebrity roast, he says, making a transition. So the celebrity roasts have been around since, well, probably forever. But when we were little kids, they were on TV now and then and it would be, you know, Frank Sinatra being roasted by Don Nichols, Don Ron Dickles, Don Rickles or whoever. And they were like, they were kind

[America 250 Announcer]

of

[Armstrong]

light hearted jabs as opposed to like meanness.

[Getty]

Right. Might mention that he'd had three wives, you know, but in just a winking

[Armstrong]

way, there were jokes like, you know, about how rich you are or how famous you are, how good looking you are, whatever, you know, they're practically compliments anyway. If you've watched Any of the roasts in recent years. The. The Tom Brady one got lots of attention. I didn't actually watch it, but the roast in recent years are so freaking mean. I mean, they're just mean. And I don't know why anybody would sign up for that. To sit there and have somebody just say, you suck. You're stupid and your wife's a. And that, like, that's the joke. And then the camera's on you to see what your facial reaction's gonna be. Right. I don't understand why anybody does this. Anyway, I watched part of the. I've seen part of the Kevin Hart roast the other night. Sean Gillis was the host. Shane Gillis. Sorry, I'm just making up all kinds of names. Ron Dickles, Shane Gillis. And. And some of it was really, really funny, but some of it was super mean spirited. But. But one joke, Gillis himself said, you probably should have taken that one out afterwards. We'll play that one for you in a second. But just to give you a vibe of it, here's the host of the roast making some jokes about Kevin Hart.

[Shane Gillis]

And speaking of black men who once made an impact years ago, Kevin Hart. Kevin has a 44 inch vertical leap, and I know that because he can kiss his wife on the lips. Being 51 sucks, but at least you can tell him apart from all the other blacks. Yeah, they told me to be racist. I don't. What am I gonna make fun of? Oh, you got a huge dick and you're a billionaire. Yeah. When you see Kevin stand next to all normal sized black friends, he looks like the period at the end of a sentence. Yes, Kevin, thank you.

[Armstrong]

Yeah, yeah.

[Shane Gillis]

To really understand Kevin's origins, you have to go back to the beginning. Kevin's ancestors came to America in a slave ship in a bottle. He grew up in Philadelphia, where his mother worked at the University of Pennsylvania and his father was one of the California Raisins. I'm just joking around. He wasn't raising anybody. Kevin's dad wasn't there for him because he was addicted to co, which is a lot more respectable than not being there for your kids because you're filming Jumanji 3. That's pathetic.

[Armstrong]

A lot of people say, that's good, Michael. I thought that joke was pretty funny.

[Shane Gillis]

Yeah.

[Armstrong]

I mean, that's harsh because Kevin Hart's talked about how his dad took off on him, was a drug addict and took off on him, and your dad wasn't raising anybody. Your dad was doing cocaine. Of course. That's more respectful not being around for your kids because you're doing Jumanji 3. I thought that was a pretty funny joke and there was a lot of those. There's one comedian chick on there, I don't know her, but her husband killed himself jumping off a bridge and there were endless jokes about that, about her husband killing himself and Bridges and this sort of stuff. What the hell now Gillis, the host said. I called her. He said I didn't know if I should make these jokes. And she said it was okay. She felt it was actually kind of therapeutic to make jokes about her husband jumping off the bridge. So I got a clearance before I did these, so I thought that was kind of interesting. Actually, my favorite joke is a Golden State warriors fan was because Draymond Green was there and and Gillis says Draymond Green, who has five championship rings, but come on, that's like saying Ringo Starr has 11 number one albums, which I thought was pretty funny. You're not the star of the team. You just happen to be there. You know, Armstrong and Getty here for hims, there are all kinds of great weight loss approaches that fit into your world out there. They've got them at hims with a wide range of affordable GLP1 options.

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[Armstrong]

Anyway, here's the joke that he says in retrospect, he probably shouldn't have told

[Shane Gillis]

I know this dais is full of degenerate scumbags and they're going to be up here saying a lot of racist, terrible things tonight. But not me. I'm not going to be doing that. I've got a nice PG short joke that I'd like you guys to be a part of. Okay? Kevin is so short. Kevin's so short that they're gonna have to him from a bonsai tree. That was a three weeks of deliberation on that joke. I I was. Look, I understand how serious the word lynch is, but banzai is so funny.

[Armstrong]

That's a rough joke.

[Getty]

That is a rough joke. It's interesting that whoever had that video was bleeping the word lynch.

[Armstrong]

Yeah, I've heard that 500 different places and it wasn't bleeped like that anywhere else who decided to bleep out a tenth of a half of a second of the word lynch and thought that was somehow made things better.

[Getty]

I know there are some Internet sites, social media sites that censor all sorts of stuff. So you like, you'll see it sometimes on Twitter where they use an asterisk in place of the A in rape or you know, they don't spell out pedophile because they don't want the algorithm to do something or other. I'm not an expert on it obviously, but that's weird.

[Armstrong]

And it actually goes opposite of the one point I was going to try to make here. If maybe we're headed to a lynch jokes, that's getting way out there. But you know, we've lived through this period where you can't say the N word even if you say I'm saying this word only. So what, we know what word we're talking about and then we're going to have a discussion about the power of words and stuff like it, you say it, you're still going to lose your job, get kicked out of your college or kicked off the radio or whatever.

[Getty]

That's just beyond idiotic.

[Armstrong]

Yes, that, that's pre enlightenment. It's some sort of weird Harry Potter stuff. I mean it's just crazy. And I wondered if making a lynch joke like that in that audience and everybody, you know, kind of uncomfortably groaning, but it aired and, and Kevin Hart laughed with kind of, oh wow, that one was rough, you know, that sort of stuff. I wonder if maybe we're moving into an era where we can act like grown ups and not like prehistoric words or magical beans sort of lifestyle we've been going.

[Getty]

I certainly hope so because that would mean we're no longer under the sway of the critical theory crowd because that's their thing. What you said is problematic. You can't say that. That gave me offense. That's a microaggression. Words are violence. Exactly. Your intent doesn't matter. It's just how I receive it because that's how they silence people and capture institutions.

[Armstrong]

Putting an asterisk instead of an A in the word rape is, is childish.

[Getty]

Oh yeah, it's idiotic.

[Armstrong]

It is, absolutely. And that's worse than idiotic. It is. Well, it's like I said, it's pre enlightenment. It's some sort of words or letters or magical incantations that can turn you into a frog or something. I mean, it's just nuts.

[Getty]

Yeah, yeah. Can't say Voldemort. Right? Yeah, I've hated that from the beginning. Now That I understand why they do it. I get it as a strategy. I just. I thought it was, like, stupid, but now I get that it's. It's not stupid. It's vicious.

[Armstrong]

But, yeah, I do.

[Getty]

I don't think you're wrong

[Armstrong]

about.

[Getty]

He did that. We are in a different era, although. Well, both are true. There are also people in parts of the world that can't be canceled because they don't care. It's like Ricky Gervais always said, can't cancel me. Cast me from what I'm gonna do what I do. I don't care what you think. Oh, you're racist, huh? No. So are you. I don't care what you say. And there's a certain power to that. Well, we've enjoyed it for a long time. Thankfully, you know. Well, I probably shouldn't say this. Picture a person who has convictions in business relationships with people who don't. That could go badly. Thankfully, that never happened.

[Armstrong]

Yeah, we've gone so far down this road, it's almost hard to remember what. What it was like in the before times. But. So Shane Gillis makes that joke. He. He has said. He has said, you know, when I look back on it, I probably shouldn't have made that joke. I saw him in a podcast the other day, but he tried it out at clubs around the country, and he said, with different audiences and black and white and stuff like that. And he thought, you know, it gets more laughs than not. So worst case scenario should be people think, oh, my God, that's too much. You're probably right. Nobody was hurt. No damage was actually done.

[Getty]

And nothing talked about people.

[Armstrong]

Nothing actually occurred. And we've. We've. We're so far down the road of the wokesters being right that we act like, you know, some damage, some irreparable damage was done. There's. There's no fixing the damage that was done by that joke. Which is obviously crazy.

[Getty]

Right? You know, it reminds me of Stockholm syndrome, where hostages slowly, over time, they seek, they realize their. Their life, not to mention their comfort, their happiness, their next meal, whatever is in the hands of their captors. And so they evolved to the point where they're just doing anything they can to please their captor to the point that their captor can get of the truck they're holding him in and go make a phone call, and they won't make a run for it because they just don't want to displease their captor. It's really fascinating and troubling, but a Lot of people, I think were under the sway or under the threat of the woke crowd, the Critical Theory crowd, and just so afraid of them. They started to internalize it and say to themselves, what you just said, oh my gosh, that hurt people that did real damage because they're trying to please their, their torturers. But no, no harm was done.

[Armstrong]

People.

[Getty]

People are only offended by crap because they chose to be offended by crap. I'll tell you, the more you know about the history of lynching in this country, the harder it is to take that joke. But we can talk about it. In fact, that would be a good thing, which has been the role humor has played forever. It gives you a little sugar pill to take a hard truth with and then you can talk about that hard truth. Well then that's what was so evil about the Critical Theory crowd. They prevented that.

[Armstrong]

Well then we also have the thing that we always play that clip of Ricky Gervais explaining these jokes. What's actually going on there? People laughing and groaning. Is everybody saying together we don't approve of lynching. That's, that's, you know, an awful thing that should have never happened. And you know, joking about it is wrong because I mean it's all everybody being in agreement on the right side of the issue. It's not saying, yeah, it's funny because I think lynching is fine.

[Getty]

No, it's a double reverse.

[Armstrong]

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

[Getty]

And everybody agrees. So they, they laugh out of discomfort and common agreement. That, oh my God, that was out of line.

[Armstrong]

Yeah.

[Getty]

But the fact people laugh and they're uncomfortable.

[Armstrong]

I wonder if the woke people, you know, have taken another step down the road of having power with that airing the way it did that clips ever.

[Getty]

I certainly hope so. That's a good point.

[Armstrong]

Well, I guess that's it.

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