I'd Sever My Own Head!

Summary

Armstrong & Getty On Demand

Episode: "I'd Sever My Own Head!"
Date: April 13, 2026
Podcast by iHeartPodcasts

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Overview

This episode is a classic Armstrong & Getty blend of current events, irreverent humor, and commentary. The hosts, Jack Armstrong and Joe Getty, alongside their regular crew (Michael, Katie Greener), tackle topics ranging from the Artemis II moon mission return and American wealth mobility to political scandals, inflation "shrinkflation," viral celebrity boxing, and headline news involving political figures. As always, their signature mix of banter and skepticism colors the discussions—from cringeworthy leaked tapes to the absurd proposal of a Trump-Biden cage match.

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Key Discussion Points

Artemis II Crew Returns

[00:27 – 02:46]

• Topic: Reflecting on the Artemis II astronauts' return.
• Highlights:
  • The emotional statements from astronauts about their unique journey.
  • Joe Getty reflects on the less glamorous parts of space travel—motion sickness during reentry and the foul conditions after landing:

    "It gets incredibly rank in there … You lock four, five, six sweaty people in a tiny little room … inadequate bathroom situation." (Joe Getty, 01:16–01:33)

  • Katie brings up reports of “floating caca problems,” adding levity to the discomfort of post-mission space capsules.

American Wealth Mobility & Shrinkflation

[03:05 – 10:03]

• Topic: Are claims that the middle class is "shrinking" accurate? The nature and impact of "shrinkflation."
• Key Insights:
  • Jason Riley's Wall Street Journal Piece: Debunks “gloom populism” by highlighting upward mobility in the U.S.
    • "Technically, the middle class has been getting smaller, but that's only because more families have ascended the income ladder." (Michael, 03:57)
    • Discussion of more Americans in upper-middle class now vs. 1979 (31% vs. 10%).
    • Modern "core middle class" is shrinking because more have moved up, not down.
  • Lifestyle Changes:

    "You live better than Nelson Rockefeller or any of the super magnates of the … [past]." (Michael, 06:12)

    • Examples include larger homes, more cars, air conditioning, travel, etc.
  • Shrinkflation:
    • Average family of four spends $741 more yearly for the same groceries (2020–2026).
    • Notable product examples:
      • M&Ms up 102% in price per ounce.
      • Frosted Flakes up 51% per serving.
    • Brands use a two-step process: raise price, then shrink portion.
      • "Raise the price first, shrink the package a year later after consumers stop paying attention." (Michael, 08:07)
    • The most vulnerable consumers are hardest hit.

Political Scandal: Kristi Noem’s Husband & Leaked Calls

[10:40 – 17:20]

• Topic: The bizarre and ethically questionable leak of private “bimbofication” conversations between Gov. Kristi Noem’s husband and a so-called dominatrix.
• Key Moments:
  • Leaked Recordings:
    • Audio clips reveal discussions about fantasies, self-image, and relationship dynamics.
    • Armstrong & Getty debate the ethics of airing the tape:
      • "I'm coming away from this... in judgment of her. She's a horrible human being, and she was dragging that out. … She had a game going on. She had a plan for this." (Joe Getty, 16:22–16:39)
    • Consensus is that the leak reflects far worse on the person recording (the dominatrix) than on Noem’s husband.

The "Melania Epstein" Speech

[17:23 – 18:58]

• Sarah Isger (The Dispatch) joins to analyze political fallout.
• Melania Trump unexpectedly addressed an old Epstein rumor, activating the “Streisand effect.”
• "She literally came out to deny something nobody had heard or was talking about." (Michael, 18:52)

Kamala Harris and 2026 Election Speculation

[19:00 – 24:57]

• Kamala Harris considers a presidential run, staying noncommittal despite book tour events.
• Armstrong & Getty roast Harris’s communication style:
  • “God, you forget her whole meandering parentheses, comma, semicolon way of talking.” (Joe Getty, 20:45)
  • Greatest hits montage highlights her tendency for platitudes:

    “I do believe that we should have rightly believed. But we certainly believe that certain issues are just settled.” (Jack Armstrong, 24:28)

• Discussion dismisses her serious chances but welcomes the entertainment value.

International News: Iran Blockade & U.S. Response

[25:13 – 28:42]

• U.S.–Iran Stand-off: Rumors of U.S.–Iran negotiations, updates on the Strait of Hormuz blockade.
• Trump claims a record 34 ships passed through amid tensions.
• Armstrong & Getty discuss Iranian strategy and possible responses from China and Europe.

Hunter Biden, Financial Woes, and the Celebrity Boxing Trend

[28:49 – 33:46]

• Hunter Biden's Finances:
  • "Hunter Biden... is about 15 million in debt and there's no generational wealth in his family." (Mark Halperin, 28:49)
• Cage Match Proposal:
  • Audio (purportedly real) of Hunter accepting an offer for a cage match against the Trump brothers for a Channel 5 tour.
    • “If I went on pay per View and severed my head and then had it reattached successfully, I'd probably make even more than that. But it ain't never gonna happen.” (Michael, 32:18)
• Joe and Michael riff hilariously on the absurdity of celebrity fights and the idea of “severing your own head” for pay-per-view ratings.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On astronaut capsule stench:

  "[He] had to go back into the capsule for some reason. And he said it smelled so bad he almost threw up." (Joe Getty, 01:50)

• On shrinkflation:

  "You pick up the bag of chips and it feels like there are three chips in there and a lot of air. Come on." (Michael, 09:20)

• Ethics of playing the scandal audio:

  "I probably have more regret about that than anything we've ever done." (Joe Getty, 35:14)

• On Kamala Harris’s communication style:

  “Her tone of voice implies touchdown dance after she makes the most mundane point.” (Michael, 22:41)

• On Hunter Biden’s cage match proposal:

  "That's not a lot more outlandish, though, than Hunter biting fighting Don Jr. In a cage match." (Joe Getty, 33:08)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Artemis II Crew Returns & Smelly Capsules: 00:27 – 02:46
• Class Framing & Economic Mobility/shrinkflation: 03:05 – 10:03
• Kristi Noem’s Husband Leaked Tapes: 10:40 – 17:20
• Melania/ Epstein Speech Analysis: 17:23 – 18:58
• Kamala Harris & 2026 Speculation: 19:00 – 24:57
• U.S.–Iran Blockade and Response: 25:13 – 28:42
• Hunter Biden Finances & Celebrity Boxing: 28:49 – 33:46
• Wrap-up & Final Thoughts: 34:07 – end

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Final Thoughts & Crew Wrap-Up

• Crew jokes about how much they’d pay to see a Trump-Biden celebrity boxing match.
• Regret expressed over airing explicit scandal audio; humorous anecdotes about golf and show links follow.

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Tone & Language

Faithful to Armstrong & Getty’s irreverent, skeptical, and conversational tone—blending news, satire, and banter. Notable for quick pivots, running jokes, lively panel reactions, and a blend of social commentary with everyday observations.

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Summary for New Listeners:
This episode is packed with Armstrong & Getty’s uniquely sharp-tongued, wide-ranging commentary—from astronaut hygiene to economic trends, political optics, viral scandals, and celebrity spectacle. If you want a show that's unfiltered, informed (but never too serious), and full of biting humor and debate, this one delivers.

Transcript

[Jack Armstrong]

This is an iHeart podcast, guaranteed human

[Announcer]

broadcasting. Live from the Abraham Lincoln radio studio at the George Washington Broadcast Center, Jack Armstrong and Joe Getty.

[Joe Getty]

Armstrong and Getty. And now here's Armstrong and Getty.

[Announcer]

The Artemis II crew welcomed back to Earth with stone ovations. The four astronauts speaking out for the first time since that textbook splashdown off the coast of Southern California, reflecting on their nearly 700,000 mile journey around the moon.

[Joe Getty]

No one down here is ever going to know what the four of us just went through. And it was the most special thing that will ever happen in my life. Great.

[Michael]

Certainly high ranking.

[Joe Getty]

And a couple of the astronauts said some stuff about why can't we all just get along? Given the fact that. All right, whatever. We can't.

[Michael]

Yeah, yeah, exactly. We can't. Why can't we? I don't know, but we can't.

[Joe Getty]

Here's the most interesting thing I heard. So we were watching the coverage on one of the news channels as the thing splashed down. And then they sat there bobbing in the ocean for a long, long time. And first of all, I thought if I could have handled the entire space trip, the part where they land in the ocean and bob around for like an hour, I would have thrown up everywhere. That would have been the worst part of the trip by far to me is the sitting there rocking back and forth in that little thing, waiting for him to get me out of there. God, I would have vomited everywhere. But they had a former astronaut say something. I'd never heard this before. How incredibly rank it gets inside the capsule.

[Michael]

Really.

[Joe Getty]

And he said you don't notice it because of the zero gravity and because you're so intensely focused. He said, but when we land, I forget what moon mission or whatever he was on many, many years ago, but he'd gotten out of the capsule and then he had to go back into the capsule for some reason. And he said it smelled so bad he almost threw up.

[Michael]

Wow.

[Joe Getty]

From just the human bodies in there for all that time.

[Michael]

Wow.

[Joe Getty]

I never. I never considered that.

[Michael]

That's so gross, man.

[Joe Getty]

You know, you lock four, five, six sweaty people in a tiny little room. Super nervous for a really long period of time, inadequate bathroom situation.

[Michael]

And I don't know how big a suitcase you're allowed to bring up, but I'll bet they wear the same stuff over and over again, right?

[Joe Getty]

He said it gets incredibly rank in there.

[Michael]

An aggressive scent.

[Joe Getty]

I had never nasty considered that part of a moon mission. Yes, Katie, I was just gonna say

[Katie Greener]

they had a little floating caca. Problem, too.

[Joe Getty]

You're right.

[Katie Greener]

So probably didn't help.

[Joe Getty]

God, that bobbing around in the ocean. Oh, that was making me seasick just watching it. Get them out of there. They're gonna throw up.

[Michael]

Yeah. Yes. Plummet through space. You crash into the ocean. Then you got to sit there getting seasick for an hour or however long it was.

[Joe Getty]

It was a long time.

[Michael]

I remember that in past missions.

[Katie Greener]

Yeah.

[Michael]

So I'm not sure we have time to do this now. We can start, certainly. I love Jason Riley, who writes for different publications, but mostly the Wall Street Journal. He was. Well, I'll just. I'll read the beginning. Capitalism is rigged. China's eating our lunch. The middle class is shrinking. This is the constant refrain from gloom populists on the left and right. But is it true? Earlier this year, the Journal editorial page told you about a study from the American Enterprise Institute, Stephen Rose and Scott Winship, that pushed back on that glum narrative. And this week, the Journal's news department followed up with a front page story highlighting that research. That research, which demonstrates upward mobility in the US Is alive and kicking. In the study, they divided households into five poor or near poor, lower middle class, core middle class, upper middle class, and rich.

[Joe Getty]

You're rich.

[Michael]

Technically, the middle class has been getting smaller, but that's only because more families have ascended the income ladder. They found that the core middle class has shrunk the middle quintile. But so, too, is the share of Americans with income too low to reach the middle class. The shrinking core middle class is due to a booming upper middle class. Only the relatively worse off parts of the middle class have shrunk and by less than, the upper middle class has grown. Right.

[Joe Getty]

So I don't need a ton of statistics, which we have to prove it, but how about the fact that you, you know, if you're 50s or whatever, whatever age you are, you're living in a house like twice as big as the one you grew up in. You grew up with a car, now you got two or three. You flew nowhere as a kid. Now you fly everywhere. I mean, there's all kinds of examples of the different lifestyle, at least for me, from when I was a kid.

[Michael]

This stuff is a little hard to measure because of what we're always talking about. And that's the difference in the cost of living and income levels in various parts of country. But in 2024, about 31% of Americans were part of the upper middle class. 31%. That's up from 10% in 1979. There is no single standard definition. They get into that. They classified a family of three earning between 133k and 400k as upper middle class. Households earning more were categorized as rich. Again, it's imperfect, but it's the best they've got. But the rise in affluence is powering an American economy built on consumer spending and transforming the type of products and services companies offer even beyond what you were saying, Jack. These tend to be the people buying seventeen hundred dollar bassinets to rock their babies to sleep, artisanal food for their dogs, pricey gym memberships, luxury cruises. And not only are people flying, but many are booking spots on business class airplane cabins. And they mentioned that that doesn't make you like you can just throw money around because you got bills and college expenses or whatever.

[Joe Getty]

But if you middle class people today go back and live like middle class people of the 70s. They would think they were very poor.

[Michael]

Yeah. Did you bring up or did I see somewhere else?

[Joe Getty]

My kids are sharing a bedroom and we got one car. Yeah, that's the way everybody's living.

[Michael]

I think I read this the other day. I should have grabbed it that you live better than Nelson Rockefeller or any of the super magnates of the.

[Joe Getty]

I don't doubt that.

[Michael]

Yeah, I mean between you know, air conditioning and TV and medical care and transportation and life expectancy and there's just. There was a hundred different things and it's. It's, you know, makes you stop and think anyway, so. Yeah, you have to out and out lie to discredit the free market. It's a wonderful thing. It's practically a miracle. Read Steven Pinker's Enlightenment now. At least the first three chapters. Moving along. It's all not good news that. No. Can I rephrase that, Michael? We take two. Yeah, go ahead. It's not all good news though. Jack. Got some interesting shrinkflation numbers here. The average family of four now pays $741 per year for the exact same groceries from 2020 to 2026. Handy place to start the comparison. $741 per year. Buying the same Coca Cola mini cans costs 127% more per ounce than the 2 liter bottle. Okay, what the hell. Let's see.

[Joe Getty]

Thanks for that.

[Michael]

That's a stupid one. I should have asked that one off. Here's a fact that's actually interesting. The price per ounce increase on M and Ms. Since 2020. It's the only product in the analysis to fully double M and M's 102% increase in wow.

[Joe Getty]

And so part of it is the price has gone up and part of it is the number of M and M's in the bag.

[Michael]

Exactly. Box of Frosted Flakes.

[Joe Getty]

Tell me about cereal. Henry and I went through a box of Raisin Bran the other day. In one day I had a bowl and he had a bowl. Box empty.

[Michael]

Wow.

[Joe Getty]

Two bowls of cereal out of one box.

[Michael]

Woof. A box of Frosted Flakes now costs 51% more per serving than it did in 2020. And there are fewer servings inside as you, you indicate. So the data revealed a deliberate two step strategy across multiple brands. Raise the price. I had this backwards when I mentioned it earlier in the show. I apologize deeply and humbly. Raise the price first, shrink the package a year later after consumers stop paying attention. Doritos did it that way. Frosted flakes. M&MS, says the senior analyst. Quote, no one's surprised by growing prices these days. But the issue with shrinkflation is the silence around it. You can clearly see when gas prices grow or rent rises, but in this you don't notice when you start to overpay for less. Lands hardest on those who can afford the least. Yeah, what if your local gas station started to give you like, you know, 8 ounces less than a gallon for every quote, unquote gallon?

[Joe Getty]

You know, the cereal thing is hilarious. A box of cereal is like a book on a shelf. Now the box is smaller to start with, just in the biggest dimensions, but it's then so thin. That's a very funny trick that they pulled off in making the box so thin.

[Michael]

You pick up the bag of chips and it feels like there are three chips in there and a lot of air. Come on.

[Joe Getty]

Will that ever go back? Will we slowly go back eventually? Because inflation was the most recent. Inflation reading was a little kind of high.

[Michael]

So yeah, there's a long answer to that involving wage growth and tolerating high prices better and blah, blah.

[Joe Getty]

But I would assume at some point out of convenience, okay, instead of you grabbing five of the little boxes of Raisin Bran, here's one great big box and here's what it costs. I would assume at some point we get there.

[Michael]

Yeah, a lot of it's consumer psychology like they were talking about. So yeah, you're right. Absolutely, we'll get back there. But at what God awful price? I can't even, can't even guess.

[Joe Getty]

Maybe Trump in his Jesus robes can lay his hand on the cereal industry

[Michael]

at the point that you have to buy two boxes of raisin Brands to have one bowl of cereal. I think people will revolt. Empty one box. All right. Empty the other box.

[Joe Getty]

The raisin comes in one box and Abran comes in another box.

[Michael]

You gotta buy them per piece. Exactly. Yeah, boy.

[Joe Getty]

What was the thing I wanted to check in on? I got. I know.

[Michael]

You know we need to.

[Joe Getty]

Oh, I know what it is. I gotta ask you because I wasn't here the other day.

[Michael]

Okay.

[Joe Getty]

What you know about the Melania Epstein speech? Because I missed that whole thing. What the freak is going on there?

[Michael]

Well, and the other thing we need to talk about is the whole Christy Gnomes purvo husband and his bimbofication porn girlfriends conversations have been leaked.

[Joe Getty]

Oh boy.

[Michael]

Ethically.

[Joe Getty]

Wow.

[Michael]

How do we feel about this?

[Joe Getty]

Excited.

[Michael]

I knew I could count on you. You're no trump. Jesus.

[Joe Getty]

Lots on the way.

[Announcer]

Stay Armstrong and Getty.

[Guest Commentator]

Of course. Daily Mail. They release audio of Brian Gnomes dominatrix. Apparently he was very much the confidant of this. This is who we really talk to a lot, this dominatrix. And he had been telling her that he very much wanted to take the do the surgery and get the hormones and become a woman. He is now leading in the polls for the Democratic nomination.

[Joe Getty]

And

[Guest Commentator]

I feel for this guy. He's a nice guy.

[Joe Getty]

Weird luck.

[Guest Commentator]

You know, one time she told Brian Gnome to drink from the dog bowl and he said that's a little dangerous around here.

[Michael]

Oh, I get it.

[Joe Getty]

So I missed this. So he was thinking about transitioning.

[Michael]

Well, at least that's what he was telling his bimbo Ification model girlfriend. Okay, I don't know if he's serious or not.

[Joe Getty]

And then I assume because we're about to hear a little bit of their conversations. Are we? Is that what we're going to hear?

[Michael]

Yeah. So he would get dressed up in his like gigantic balloon breasts, tight outfit, makeup, nipples point in different directions for some reason. You gotta consult your plastic surgeon. Get your money back. Anyway, and so he would dress up like that and like talk to this, this pro about his fantasies and all.

[Joe Getty]

Who was recording this though?

[Michael]

Katie's got the handle on this.

[Katie Greener]

She was. She had another recording device on her phone and had him on speaker.

[Joe Getty]

Does she record everybody?

[Katie Greener]

I don't know.

[Joe Getty]

Do they hold on to him to blackmail you later or why do they hang on to it?

[Michael]

To ensure excellent customer service, this call may be recorded. Now put the balloons under your shirt and let's get started.

[Joe Getty]

One of your nipples is pointing straight north. What's the deal?

[Michael]

What are you gonna do? So. Yes, yes, Indeed. And these incredibly important recordings have come to light. Jack.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah. There's no reason we should hear these. We're about to. But there's no reason.

[Michael]

That's what I was. I was up for. A careful and heartfelt ethical discussion. You apparently want to leap forward.

[Joe Getty]

Well, if other people are playing them. But it is. It is awful. I mean, it's like I. It's like my thing about the, you know, DUI cop footage. We don't need to see this and we don't need to hear this, but we're about to.

[Michael]

I vote no. For the record.

[Joe Getty]

Okay, well, I'll vote yes. We need two people at least to vote yes. I'm a yes.

[Katie Greener]

Katie, do it.

[Michael]

I'm a yes. That's three.

[Joe Getty]

Why was she recording it, though?

[Michael]

I get it both ways. I can pretend to be virtuous and hear it.

[Joe Getty]

Yay.

[Michael]

I win. Okay, here we go.

[Unknown Female Speaker]

You know what serendipity is?

[Unknown Male Speaker]

I've heard of it. I've seen some articles on it.

[Unknown Female Speaker]

I think we should go there for dessert.

[Unknown Male Speaker]

Yeah.

[Unknown Female Speaker]

And I would bow to you.

[Unknown Male Speaker]

What if people saw us together? I don't give a f. Not even if you got recognized.

[Unknown Female Speaker]

I don't care. You know what I want? What? To be seen with you.

[Unknown Male Speaker]

Yeah.

[Michael]

Mm.

[Unknown Female Speaker]

I don't give a. About anything else.

[Unknown Male Speaker]

Yeah.

[Unknown Female Speaker]

Is he time we'd be seen together?

[Joe Getty]

Is he working his man during this conversation?

[Michael]

Oh, good lord, sir. I have no idea.

[Joe Getty]

So?

[Michael]

The conversation was killing me.

[Joe Getty]

So she knows who he is. She knows he's a high profile person. That's why she's recording it. That makes her an awful human being.

[Michael]

Her name is Shy Sotomayor. Any relation? Firing minds want to know.

[Joe Getty]

She's recording this because he's high profile. So she can extort him or something. It ain't whatever her reason is it good. You expect more out of your bimbofication hired. Whatever she is.

[Michael]

What? Whatever happened to professionalism?

[Joe Getty]

There's more.

[Michael]

But wait, it gets worse.

[Unknown Male Speaker]

You told me you loved me, didn't you?

[Unknown Female Speaker]

I do love you. Do you?

[Unknown Male Speaker]

So much better than your wife, aren't I?

[Michael]

No.

[Joe Getty]

Not cool.

[Unknown Female Speaker]

You're so much better.

[Unknown Male Speaker]

You can't live without me, can you?

[Katie Greener]

Oh, my God.

[Michael]

This is way more sickening than I thought.

[Unknown Male Speaker]

So weak and desperate for me.

[Unknown Female Speaker]

Yes. God. Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. Thank you.

[Joe Getty]

See, I don't know how.

[Unknown Male Speaker]

What a good boy.

[Joe Getty]

I don't know how this is being portrayed. Oh, good boy.

[Katie Greener]

I'm having a physical awful reaction to

[Joe Getty]

listening to that But I don't know how this is being portrayed.

[Guest Commentator]

They love each other.

[Joe Getty]

I don't know how this is being portrayed other places, but I'm coming away from this. Not. Not in. More in judgment of him. I'm in judgment of her. She's a horrible human being, and she was dragging that out. You love me more than your wife. She had a game going on. She had a plan for this.

[Katie Greener]

Yeah, that was a big question.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah, that was a bait question. And she's recording it and she's going to extort him or something. She's an awful human being. She should be. If anybody's going to be embarrassed and doxed and outed, it should be her.

[Michael]

So this does not square with your experiences of good ethical bimbofication talks.

[Joe Getty]

Oh, my God.

[Michael]

So I. That whole you love me more than your wife, maybe that's a standard part of it. I have no idea.

[Joe Getty]

I don't know. You tell us.

[Michael]

I can't say you're wrong on that angle, but I have no idea.

[Joe Getty]

Or what. I don't fully understand what the bimbofication thing is, but you're a good boy. Ew. That part was rough.

[Announcer]

Armstrong and Getty.

[Sarah Isger]

Anyone who has done this for a living is very familiar with the spouse who sits on Twitter and sees random accounts saying negative things that they don't think are true and says, I want to go out and defend this. And you're like, no, ma', am, we are not doing that. That would step on the message, et cetera, et cetera. What you saw was the team lose. You know, if the Streisand effect is when you file a lawsuit, that brings more attention to something. The Melania effect is when finally Epstein is out of the news. You have an entire war in the Middle east, and you're like, no, no, please, let's talk more about Epstein.

[Joe Getty]

So that's Sarah Isger of the Dispatch, who's really good. She used to work in the Trump administration, but. So I was out of town over the weekend, went to visit my parents, kids, grandparents in Kansas, and was checked out of the news. But I did see the headline that Melania came out and gave a speech about Epstein. What was that all about?

[Michael]

Nobody's sure. Nobody's sure. Some author is doing a couple of podcasts and claims that Epstein introduced her to Trump or that she modeled for him or might have been one of his victims, but nobody believed it. Nobody was talking about it. So the whole world, including the White House, apparently was blindsided. And it's like, why are you talking about Epstein?

[Joe Getty]

Well, I did see, like, a clip of her where she's, you know, this has got to stop. What has to stop?

[Michael]

These false stories, which are. Nobody knew.

[Joe Getty]

Okay. Yeah. Well, that is 100% the Streisand effect.

[Michael]

Oh, yeah, yeah. She literally came out to deny something nobody had heard or was talking about.

[Joe Getty]

She looked great, though.

[Michael]

Lovely, Al, lovely. Fluent in several languages. Anyway, here's a woman who's not fluent in any languages whatsoever. Late in the week last week, she thrilled us with this.

[Jack Armstrong]

Listen, I might, I might. I'm thinking about it, I'm thinking about it.

[Michael]

And then we played some really good

[Joe Getty]

words answering what question?

[Michael]

Will you run? Sorry? Will you run for president? See, I might, I might.

[Joe Getty]

I think she's just trying to keep her book tour alive. Is there any indication she's more serious than that about running for president? And if so, how is she so crazy?

[Michael]

Well, that was at Al Sharpton's outfit in New York City, their big rally. She was their invited guest, and the crowd went crazy. Just really, really happy about that. Right, but where did they find that crowd? Did you see the polls?

[Joe Getty]

But you do know that you're dead is an interest of any to anybody. The moment you say, I'm not running, it's like everybody just gets up out of their chair and leaves. Why would I listen to you then? Right.

[Michael]

Well, and then, Jack, you were out, I think. But she followed up 72, Michael. With this thought about if she runs.

[Jack Armstrong]

Look, the American people have a right to expect that anyone who wants to run for office and be a leader, that it can't be about themselves and what they want for themselves has got to be about the American people. And that's how I think of it. And I am thinking about it in the context of then, you know, is who and where and how can the best job be done for the American people?

[Joe Getty]

God, you forget her whole meandering parentheses comma, semicolon way of talking.

[Michael]

She has no capacity to end a

[Joe Getty]

thought to wrap up a sentence. She does not. A Rahma manual will chew her up and spit her out.

[Michael]

Oh, yeah, yeah, absolutely. And then the crack ang staff came up with this gem I was unfamiliar with this goes back a couple of years, but she's attempting. Next clip, Michael. Attempting to talk about inflation.

[Jack Armstrong]

Well, let's start with this. Prices have gone up and families and individuals are dealing with the realities of that bread costs more, that gas costs more, and we have to understand what that means. That's about the cost of living going up. That's about having to stress and stretch limited resources. That's about a source of stress for families that is not only economic, but is on a daily level, something that is a heavy weight to carry. So it is something that we take very seriously. Very seriously. And we know from the history of this issue in the United States that when you see these prices go up, it has a direct impact on the quality of life for all people in our country. So it's a big issue, and we take it seriously.

[Michael]

And that was right around when the Biden administration, of which she was veep, was flooding America with borrowed printed currency, trillions of dollars.

[Joe Getty]

Man, I, you know, you forget how bad she was at all that. And she. She always has had that thing that drives me crazy. Each phrase she acts like, who blew your mind? I'll give you a second to take that in because that was some heavy stuff.

[Michael]

Yeah. Kind of a. Her tone of voice implies touchdown dance after she makes the most mundane point.

[Joe Getty]

Right, Captain Banal. Just nothing.

[Jack Armstrong]

And thinking about it in the context of then, you know, is who and where and how

[Joe Getty]

exactly.

[Michael]

Pardon me.

[Joe Getty]

She. She seriously can't be thinking of running.

[Michael]

Oh, she can't.

[Joe Getty]

I mean, even if she's thinking of running, no money. People are going to come to her and say, I'm in. I'll give you a million dollars.

[Michael]

Right, that's. That's the thing. She's at the top of the polls just because they're name recognition polls.

[Joe Getty]

So was Jeb Bush. So was Rudy Giuliani. So was Hillary Clinton in 2008. So. So were lots of people with name recognition.

[Michael]

But let's not lose sight of the goal here, Jack. We're not talking about her winning. We're talking about her running for our entertainment.

[Joe Getty]

True, dad.

[Michael]

Right. So just get her to the starting line. She won't make it to Iowa again, but just get her to the starting line, please.

[Joe Getty]

I don't know if I was on the is part of the deal anymore.

[Michael]

Is it South Carolina? I guess now that you mentioned it, yeah. Yeah. If ancient Jim Clyburn has any say. Yeah. And he'll try to fix the game again. So let's conclude the discussion with little greatest hits package here, Michael.

[Jack Armstrong]

I grew up understanding the children of the community are. The children of the community need to get to go and need to be able to get where you need to go to do the work and get home. I don't know what's wrong with you young people. You think you just fell out of a coconut tree? I do believe that we should have rightly believed. But we certainly believe that certain issues are just settled. Certain issues are just settled.

[Joe Getty]

Clearly we're not.

[Jack Armstrong]

No, that's right. And that's why I do believe that we are living sadly in real unsettled times. I can imagine what can be and be unburdened by what has been.

[Joe Getty]

You know her all time best that when she thought worked in all settings. Oh, unburdened by what has been and will, whatever that is phrase she says.

[Michael]

I remember so vividly talking to people who'd worked with her in California and them saying, joe, she's an idiot. And me saying, no, come on, she's a liberal. I get you disagree. No, seriously, she's a dope and they couldn't convince me. Class A.

[Joe Getty]

Before we take a break, I've got the latest from open source intelligence on what's going on with us versus Iran and the blockade and all that sort of stuff. According to Axios, there is continued engagement between the US And Iran and forward motion on trying to get an agreement even with this last weekend's failed peace talks. Now, Ian Bremmer cynically says that was put out just before the markets open today to try to calm the markets rather than any actual peace talks. I don't know which is true.

[Michael]

Could be.

[Joe Getty]

And Donald Trump has stated that 34 ships transited the Strait of Hormuz yesterday, which he says is the highest number since the start of the war and has something to do with the blockade being the day where zero ships are

[Guest Commentator]

going to go through.

[Michael]

Has anybody signed up to help us yet on the blockade?

[Joe Getty]

No, no. He said there's a coalition of the willing that are going to help us, but there is nobody helping us currently. And still the open question is if a ship goes through, what are we going to do about it? We have 15 warships there that are either going to blast them out of the water or sail up next to them and commandeer the thing or who

[Michael]

knows what you got to take it and confiscate the cargo, sell it at auction.

[Joe Getty]

I'll be interesting to watch. I would assume somebody's going to send a ship through a day. It's like a test. It's not going to be some company. I mean, they're not going to do that. The companies already are.

[Michael]

No, no, no, no, no.

[Joe Getty]

It'd have to be Iran sending one through, right?

[Michael]

Yeah. Whether they'll do it today or soon, you would think they've got to test it. I'm just, I'm trying to think through what their strategy is at this point. What would bring the most economic pain to the most countries. Who then will tell America to call off the dogs? That's the Iranian strategy, obviously.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah. My theory earlier today was this is what I'd do if I was Iran. I just. Okay, let's keep it closed and see how long China and Europe are willing to put up with that. Not very long, I'm guessing, and. And let that happen, rather than try to force your way through and take on the United States.

[Michael]

Yeah, they'll probably have their PR people making the round saying, hey, we had a system for opening up. You just pay a little reasonable toll. And the US Is blockading it now. They're maniacs. What are you gonna do?

[Joe Getty]

Yeah.

[Michael]

And the Macrons of the world will say, point.

[Joe Getty]

I thought I hated JD Vance going to Hungary and campaigning for Urban last week. Hated that a lot. Thought that was absolutely awful. But I thought what JD said coming out of the 21 hours of failed peace talks, saying they didn't agree to anything. Look, this is a bigger problem for them than it is for us, so we're going home. I thought that was a good thing to say. This is a you problem. You're. You're not, like, stalling. This doesn't help you. It helps. It hurts you.

[Michael]

We're.

[Joe Getty]

We're fine. I thought that was a good way to approach it.

[Michael]

Will China put the squeeze on Iran to tell them to cooperate, to come to some sort of settlement? Because China is not going to sacrifice its economy to. Well, you know, the mullahs are good friends of ours and have been for a long time, and they really want a nuke. So I guess we got to stay on their side. There's no way Xi Jinping's thinking that. No way. I hope it breaks that way.

[Joe Getty]

It'll be something to watch today and tomorrow. We will finish strong.

[Announcer]

Next, Armstrong and Getty.

[Mark Halperin]

Hunter Biden, who said in December that he's about 15 million in debt and there's no generational wealth in his family, is looking to make some money. How would you do that if you were Hunter Biden? A man of a great education, Yale Law School, great creativity, got what I call The Brisma retainer. 50 grand a month. Here's Hunter's newest idea.

[Hunter Biden]

Hunter Biden here. I just got a call from Andrew Callahan. He asked me to come out on the Channel 5 Carnival Tour at the end of the month. I think we start in Phoenix and then we go to San Diego and we end in Albuquerque. And I think he's trying to organize a cage match. Me versus Eric and Don Jr. I told him I'd do it.

[Mark Halperin]

Mark, is that AI or is that real?

[Joe Getty]

I think it's weird enough to be real.

[Mark Halperin]

Yeah, sadly, that's real.

[Joe Getty]

That's from Mark Halperin's news program over the weekend. First of all, he was reporting over the weekend that the Biden family just in general, not just Hunter, because it's all one thing are they're broke, they're in really bad financial situation. They, they had a, you know, their monthly nut was probably a lot with all the different homes and their lifestyle and all the different kids and cars and stuff like that. And I don't know.

[Michael]

What did Halperin say? Hunter is in debt to the Tuna.

[Joe Getty]

He alone is $15 million in debt.

[Michael]

Oh my God.

[Joe Getty]

But the whole Hunter family thing with all their different homes and cars and trips and the way they've. They're really, really hurting and they got zero way to make money.

[Michael]

Is Dr. Jill going to have to start seeing patients again?

[Joe Getty]

Doc, it hurts when I do this.

[Michael]

Never forget.

[Joe Getty]

So if you, you know, if you needed some sort of karma to catch up to them after their years of running a crime family syndicate, it apparently it is happening. But how does Hunter sit there with a straight face and think the Trump kids are making lots of money in office also and wealthy and you know, in the thick of the best part of their lives probably.

[Michael]

Why would they traveling the world making zillions of dollars.

[Joe Getty]

Why would they do a cage match with you, Hunter, Loser, Biden.

[Michael]

It certainly couldn't be a drug addict relapsing when he's under enormous pressure. Man, is he on drugs? You'd have to be on drugs to suggest that. Or is that his dry humor that we all love so much?

[Joe Getty]

Oh my God. And it turned out nobody's as interested in his art as he originally thought. That had to be hurtful.

[Michael]

So yeah, his art, which was the hottest thing on the planet until the second Joe Biden had no influence.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah, that whole thing, unbelievable. And Hunters to the all get in a cage match with Eric or Don Jr. And how much? Well, I guess if you did pay per view, it could make a lot of money. The last, who are the YouTubers who do the energy drink and the one guy that fights Jake Paul, the last Jake Paul fight, he made like 80, 90 million dollars. That was a lot of money. So he, he's probably thinking one of those kind of deals.

[Michael]

Yeah, well, okay, great. Well, and if I went on pay per View and severed my head and then had it reattached successfully, I'd probably make even more than that. But it ain't never gonna happen.

[Joe Getty]

You're gonna sever your own head?

[Michael]

Well, no, I would. I would ask others with that job

[Joe Getty]

because you said so. I just. The way you presented it, it made it sound like you're severing your head. Well, it's just I would pay a lot in paper.

[Michael]

Exactly my point.

[Joe Getty]

If you're going to sever your own ahead and re.

[Michael]

Hey, we're just at the spitballing phase. But that's the. That's the rough outline. Yeah.

[Joe Getty]

How does he see where to put the sutures?

[Michael]

That's why it's so amazing. Oh, my God.

[Joe Getty]

That's not a lot more outlandish, though, than Hunter biting fighting Don Jr. In a cage match.

[Michael]

Yeah. Yeah. That's only slightly more likely than my scenario.

[Joe Getty]

Literally.

[Michael]

Yes. Katie. What?

[Katie Greener]

No, nothing. I'm just enjoying this ridiculous conversation.

[Michael]

That was my point. Ridiculous is the word.

[Unknown Female Speaker]

Yes.

[Joe Getty]

Who did Jake Paul fight last fight? It was actually a good fight.

[Michael]

Anthony Joshua.

[Joe Getty]

Oh, yeah. It was a guy. He was like a serious fighter, everything. That was a heck of a good fight. He got his jaw broken several times, but yeah, he made 80, $90 million from it. So I. I'm surprised we're gonna see more celebrities do that sort of thing. If you're the kind of name that can generate interest, there's a ton of money be made.

[Michael]

Celebrity boxing is back. I'd say yes. Check your clock. It's time to stop Jack and Joe. They've got to go. And if they don't get canned, they'll be back tomorrow.

[Joe Getty]

He seems to be a little wobbly. This in between part where he doesn't have the head on his shoulders.

[Michael]

The suturing is not going well.

[Joe Getty]

Jim, here's your host for final thoughts, Joe Getty.

[Michael]

Oh, I'll stop there. Let's get a final thought from everybody on the crew to wrap the show up for the day. Michelangelo in the control room with latest off. I'm just saying, if this actually were to happen, I'd pay probably 2939 to see that.

[Katie Greener]

The Trump kids versus Hunter Biden.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah, I'd pay.

[Michael]

I would have a hellacious party at my pad. Everybody's invited. Katie Greener, esteemed newswoman, has a final thought. Katie?

[Katie Greener]

I'll up that, Michael. I would pay probably the typical fight price of almost 100 bucks.

[Joe Getty]

I might go four figures. Oh, I was thinking about Joe cutting off his head and sort of back on.

[Michael]

Now we're on Hunter Biden. Jack, final thought.

[Joe Getty]

You know we got a text about that sex worker tape we played between Kristi Gnomes husband and the scumbag bimbification woman, who I call her scumbag because I think she taped it to blackmail him. I might agree with our texture.

[Michael]

I just sell it. Yeah, I might agree with the texture.

[Joe Getty]

That might be the worst thing we've ever played. I probably have more regret about that than anything we've ever done.

[Hunter Biden]

It's.

[Michael]

It's certainly in the very top tier of the bottom tier. Yes, yes indeed. My final thought, Great masters over the weekend. Rory McElroy triumphant over a field of excellent players. My boy Brian Campbell made the cut and finished I think tied for 27th, something like that. So well done, Brian. Great dude. Great your boy.

[Joe Getty]

Meaning he's a friend. Oh, okay, cool.

[Michael]

Yeah.

[Joe Getty]

Armstrong and Yeti wrapping up another grueling four hour workday.

[Michael]

So many people to thank. I talked about that Friday. Go to armstrongetty.com so many great links. Right today you gotta go click click away.

[Joe Getty]

We'll see you tomorrow. God bless America. Armstrong and Yeti.

[Michael]

All this hemming and hawing just makes no sense to me. Look, I don't think this is something that people need to be generally worried about.

[Guest Commentator]

Let me tell you what people care about.

[Michael]

I have resting open mouth face. That's the real problem here.

[Unknown Female Speaker]

If you don't know a damn thing about it, don't talk about it.

[Joe Getty]

Okay.

[Michael]

Or a person toting a penis.

[Joe Getty]

Person toting a penis.

[Michael]

You say it kind of totes itself, honestly and is the boldest package in U.S. history. Thank you all very much. Armstrong and Getty.