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Jack Armstrong
This is an iHeart podcast, guaranteed human
Announcer
broadcasting. Live from the Abraham Lincoln radio studio at the George Washington Broadcast Center, Jack Armstrong and Joe Getty.
Joe Getty
Armstrong and Getty. And now here's Armstrong and Getty.
Announcer
The Artemis II crew welcomed back to Earth with stone ovations. The four astronauts speaking out for the first time since that textbook splashdown off the coast of Southern California, reflecting on their nearly 700,000 mile journey around the moon.
Joe Getty
No one down here is ever going to know what the four of us just went through. And it was the most special thing that will ever happen in my life. Great.
Michael
Certainly high ranking.
Joe Getty
And a couple of the astronauts said some stuff about why can't we all just get along? Given the fact that. All right, whatever. We can't.
Michael
Yeah, yeah, exactly. We can't. Why can't we? I don't know, but we can't.
Joe Getty
Here's the most interesting thing I heard. So we were watching the coverage on one of the news channels as the thing splashed down. And then they sat there bobbing in the ocean for a long, long time. And first of all, I thought if I could have handled the entire space trip, the part where they land in the ocean and bob around for like an hour, I would have thrown up everywhere. That would have been the worst part of the trip by far to me is the sitting there rocking back and forth in that little thing, waiting for him to get me out of there. God, I would have vomited everywhere. But they had a former astronaut say something. I'd never heard this before. How incredibly rank it gets inside the capsule.
Michael
Really.
Joe Getty
And he said you don't notice it because of the zero gravity and because you're so intensely focused. He said, but when we land, I forget what moon mission or whatever he was on many, many years ago, but he'd gotten out of the capsule and then he had to go back into the capsule for some reason. And he said it smelled so bad he almost threw up.
Michael
Wow.
Joe Getty
From just the human bodies in there for all that time.
Michael
Wow.
Joe Getty
I never. I never considered that.
Michael
That's so gross, man.
Joe Getty
You know, you lock four, five, six sweaty people in a tiny little room. Super nervous for a really long period of time, inadequate bathroom situation.
Michael
And I don't know how big a suitcase you're allowed to bring up, but I'll bet they wear the same stuff over and over again, right?
Joe Getty
He said it gets incredibly rank in there.
Michael
An aggressive scent.
Joe Getty
I had never nasty considered that part of a moon mission. Yes, Katie, I was just gonna say
Katie Greener
they had a little floating caca. Problem, too.
Joe Getty
You're right.
Katie Greener
So probably didn't help.
Joe Getty
God, that bobbing around in the ocean. Oh, that was making me seasick just watching it. Get them out of there. They're gonna throw up.
Michael
Yeah. Yes. Plummet through space. You crash into the ocean. Then you got to sit there getting seasick for an hour or however long it was.
Joe Getty
It was a long time.
Michael
I remember that in past missions.
Katie Greener
Yeah.
Michael
So I'm not sure we have time to do this now. We can start, certainly. I love Jason Riley, who writes for different publications, but mostly the Wall Street Journal. He was. Well, I'll just. I'll read the beginning. Capitalism is rigged. China's eating our lunch. The middle class is shrinking. This is the constant refrain from gloom populists on the left and right. But is it true? Earlier this year, the Journal editorial page told you about a study from the American Enterprise Institute, Stephen Rose and Scott Winship, that pushed back on that glum narrative. And this week, the Journal's news department followed up with a front page story highlighting that research. That research, which demonstrates upward mobility in the US Is alive and kicking. In the study, they divided households into five poor or near poor, lower middle class, core middle class, upper middle class, and rich.
Joe Getty
You're rich.
Michael
Technically, the middle class has been getting smaller, but that's only because more families have ascended the income ladder. They found that the core middle class has shrunk the middle quintile. But so, too, is the share of Americans with income too low to reach the middle class. The shrinking core middle class is due to a booming upper middle class. Only the relatively worse off parts of the middle class have shrunk and by less than, the upper middle class has grown. Right.
Joe Getty
So I don't need a ton of statistics, which we have to prove it, but how about the fact that you, you know, if you're 50s or whatever, whatever age you are, you're living in a house like twice as big as the one you grew up in. You grew up with a car, now you got two or three. You flew nowhere as a kid. Now you fly everywhere. I mean, there's all kinds of examples of the different lifestyle, at least for me, from when I was a kid.
Michael
This stuff is a little hard to measure because of what we're always talking about. And that's the difference in the cost of living and income levels in various parts of country. But in 2024, about 31% of Americans were part of the upper middle class. 31%. That's up from 10% in 1979. There is no single standard definition. They get into that. They classified a family of three earning between 133k and 400k as upper middle class. Households earning more were categorized as rich. Again, it's imperfect, but it's the best they've got. But the rise in affluence is powering an American economy built on consumer spending and transforming the type of products and services companies offer even beyond what you were saying, Jack. These tend to be the people buying seventeen hundred dollar bassinets to rock their babies to sleep, artisanal food for their dogs, pricey gym memberships, luxury cruises. And not only are people flying, but many are booking spots on business class airplane cabins. And they mentioned that that doesn't make you like you can just throw money around because you got bills and college expenses or whatever.
Joe Getty
But if you middle class people today go back and live like middle class people of the 70s. They would think they were very poor.
Michael
Yeah. Did you bring up or did I see somewhere else?
Joe Getty
My kids are sharing a bedroom and we got one car. Yeah, that's the way everybody's living.
Michael
I think I read this the other day. I should have grabbed it that you live better than Nelson Rockefeller or any of the super magnates of the.
Joe Getty
I don't doubt that.
Michael
Yeah, I mean between you know, air conditioning and TV and medical care and transportation and life expectancy and there's just. There was a hundred different things and it's. It's, you know, makes you stop and think anyway, so. Yeah, you have to out and out lie to discredit the free market. It's a wonderful thing. It's practically a miracle. Read Steven Pinker's Enlightenment now. At least the first three chapters. Moving along. It's all not good news that. No. Can I rephrase that, Michael? We take two. Yeah, go ahead. It's not all good news though. Jack. Got some interesting shrinkflation numbers here. The average family of four now pays $741 per year for the exact same groceries from 2020 to 2026. Handy place to start the comparison. $741 per year. Buying the same Coca Cola mini cans costs 127% more per ounce than the 2 liter bottle. Okay, what the hell. Let's see.
Joe Getty
Thanks for that.
Michael
That's a stupid one. I should have asked that one off. Here's a fact that's actually interesting. The price per ounce increase on M and Ms. Since 2020. It's the only product in the analysis to fully double M and M's 102% increase in wow.
Joe Getty
And so part of it is the price has gone up and part of it is the number of M and M's in the bag.
Michael
Exactly. Box of Frosted Flakes.
Joe Getty
Tell me about cereal. Henry and I went through a box of Raisin Bran the other day. In one day I had a bowl and he had a bowl. Box empty.
Michael
Wow.
Joe Getty
Two bowls of cereal out of one box.
Michael
Woof. A box of Frosted Flakes now costs 51% more per serving than it did in 2020. And there are fewer servings inside as you, you indicate. So the data revealed a deliberate two step strategy across multiple brands. Raise the price. I had this backwards when I mentioned it earlier in the show. I apologize deeply and humbly. Raise the price first, shrink the package a year later after consumers stop paying attention. Doritos did it that way. Frosted flakes. M&MS, says the senior analyst. Quote, no one's surprised by growing prices these days. But the issue with shrinkflation is the silence around it. You can clearly see when gas prices grow or rent rises, but in this you don't notice when you start to overpay for less. Lands hardest on those who can afford the least. Yeah, what if your local gas station started to give you like, you know, 8 ounces less than a gallon for every quote, unquote gallon?
Joe Getty
You know, the cereal thing is hilarious. A box of cereal is like a book on a shelf. Now the box is smaller to start with, just in the biggest dimensions, but it's then so thin. That's a very funny trick that they pulled off in making the box so thin.
Michael
You pick up the bag of chips and it feels like there are three chips in there and a lot of air. Come on.
Joe Getty
Will that ever go back? Will we slowly go back eventually? Because inflation was the most recent. Inflation reading was a little kind of high.
Michael
So yeah, there's a long answer to that involving wage growth and tolerating high prices better and blah, blah.
Joe Getty
But I would assume at some point out of convenience, okay, instead of you grabbing five of the little boxes of Raisin Bran, here's one great big box and here's what it costs. I would assume at some point we get there.
Michael
Yeah, a lot of it's consumer psychology like they were talking about. So yeah, you're right. Absolutely, we'll get back there. But at what God awful price? I can't even, can't even guess.
Joe Getty
Maybe Trump in his Jesus robes can lay his hand on the cereal industry
Michael
at the point that you have to buy two boxes of raisin Brands to have one bowl of cereal. I think people will revolt. Empty one box. All right. Empty the other box.
Joe Getty
The raisin comes in one box and Abran comes in another box.
Michael
You gotta buy them per piece. Exactly. Yeah, boy.
Joe Getty
What was the thing I wanted to check in on? I got. I know.
Michael
You know we need to.
Joe Getty
Oh, I know what it is. I gotta ask you because I wasn't here the other day.
Michael
Okay.
Joe Getty
What you know about the Melania Epstein speech? Because I missed that whole thing. What the freak is going on there?
Michael
Well, and the other thing we need to talk about is the whole Christy Gnomes purvo husband and his bimbofication porn girlfriends conversations have been leaked.
Joe Getty
Oh boy.
Michael
Ethically.
Joe Getty
Wow.
Michael
How do we feel about this?
Joe Getty
Excited.
Michael
I knew I could count on you. You're no trump. Jesus.
Joe Getty
Lots on the way.
Announcer
Stay Armstrong and Getty.
Guest Commentator
Of course. Daily Mail. They release audio of Brian Gnomes dominatrix. Apparently he was very much the confidant of this. This is who we really talk to a lot, this dominatrix. And he had been telling her that he very much wanted to take the do the surgery and get the hormones and become a woman. He is now leading in the polls for the Democratic nomination.
Joe Getty
And
Guest Commentator
I feel for this guy. He's a nice guy.
Joe Getty
Weird luck.
Guest Commentator
You know, one time she told Brian Gnome to drink from the dog bowl and he said that's a little dangerous around here.
Michael
Oh, I get it.
Joe Getty
So I missed this. So he was thinking about transitioning.
Michael
Well, at least that's what he was telling his bimbo Ification model girlfriend. Okay, I don't know if he's serious or not.
Joe Getty
And then I assume because we're about to hear a little bit of their conversations. Are we? Is that what we're going to hear?
Michael
Yeah. So he would get dressed up in his like gigantic balloon breasts, tight outfit, makeup, nipples point in different directions for some reason. You gotta consult your plastic surgeon. Get your money back. Anyway, and so he would dress up like that and like talk to this, this pro about his fantasies and all.
Joe Getty
Who was recording this though?
Michael
Katie's got the handle on this.
Katie Greener
She was. She had another recording device on her phone and had him on speaker.
Joe Getty
Does she record everybody?
Katie Greener
I don't know.
Joe Getty
Do they hold on to him to blackmail you later or why do they hang on to it?
Michael
To ensure excellent customer service, this call may be recorded. Now put the balloons under your shirt and let's get started.
Joe Getty
One of your nipples is pointing straight north. What's the deal?
Michael
What are you gonna do? So. Yes, yes, Indeed. And these incredibly important recordings have come to light. Jack.
Joe Getty
Yeah. There's no reason we should hear these. We're about to. But there's no reason.
Michael
That's what I was. I was up for. A careful and heartfelt ethical discussion. You apparently want to leap forward.
Joe Getty
Well, if other people are playing them. But it is. It is awful. I mean, it's like I. It's like my thing about the, you know, DUI cop footage. We don't need to see this and we don't need to hear this, but we're about to.
Michael
I vote no. For the record.
Joe Getty
Okay, well, I'll vote yes. We need two people at least to vote yes. I'm a yes.
Katie Greener
Katie, do it.
Michael
I'm a yes. That's three.
Joe Getty
Why was she recording it, though?
Michael
I get it both ways. I can pretend to be virtuous and hear it.
Joe Getty
Yay.
Michael
I win. Okay, here we go.
Unknown Female Speaker
You know what serendipity is?
Unknown Male Speaker
I've heard of it. I've seen some articles on it.
Unknown Female Speaker
I think we should go there for dessert.
Unknown Male Speaker
Yeah.
Unknown Female Speaker
And I would bow to you.
Unknown Male Speaker
What if people saw us together? I don't give a f. Not even if you got recognized.
Unknown Female Speaker
I don't care. You know what I want? What? To be seen with you.
Unknown Male Speaker
Yeah.
Michael
Mm.
Unknown Female Speaker
I don't give a. About anything else.
Unknown Male Speaker
Yeah.
Unknown Female Speaker
Is he time we'd be seen together?
Joe Getty
Is he working his man during this conversation?
Michael
Oh, good lord, sir. I have no idea.
Joe Getty
So?
Michael
The conversation was killing me.
Joe Getty
So she knows who he is. She knows he's a high profile person. That's why she's recording it. That makes her an awful human being.
Michael
Her name is Shy Sotomayor. Any relation? Firing minds want to know.
Joe Getty
She's recording this because he's high profile. So she can extort him or something. It ain't whatever her reason is it good. You expect more out of your bimbofication hired. Whatever she is.
Michael
What? Whatever happened to professionalism?
Joe Getty
There's more.
Michael
But wait, it gets worse.
Unknown Male Speaker
You told me you loved me, didn't you?
Unknown Female Speaker
I do love you. Do you?
Unknown Male Speaker
So much better than your wife, aren't I?
Michael
No.
Joe Getty
Not cool.
Unknown Female Speaker
You're so much better.
Unknown Male Speaker
You can't live without me, can you?
Katie Greener
Oh, my God.
Michael
This is way more sickening than I thought.
Unknown Male Speaker
So weak and desperate for me.
Unknown Female Speaker
Yes. God. Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. Thank you.
Joe Getty
See, I don't know how.
Unknown Male Speaker
What a good boy.
Joe Getty
I don't know how this is being portrayed. Oh, good boy.
Katie Greener
I'm having a physical awful reaction to
Joe Getty
listening to that But I don't know how this is being portrayed.
Guest Commentator
They love each other.
Joe Getty
I don't know how this is being portrayed other places, but I'm coming away from this. Not. Not in. More in judgment of him. I'm in judgment of her. She's a horrible human being, and she was dragging that out. You love me more than your wife. She had a game going on. She had a plan for this.
Katie Greener
Yeah, that was a big question.
Joe Getty
Yeah, that was a bait question. And she's recording it and she's going to extort him or something. She's an awful human being. She should be. If anybody's going to be embarrassed and doxed and outed, it should be her.
Michael
So this does not square with your experiences of good ethical bimbofication talks.
Joe Getty
Oh, my God.
Michael
So I. That whole you love me more than your wife, maybe that's a standard part of it. I have no idea.
Joe Getty
I don't know. You tell us.
Michael
I can't say you're wrong on that angle, but I have no idea.
Joe Getty
Or what. I don't fully understand what the bimbofication thing is, but you're a good boy. Ew. That part was rough.
Announcer
Armstrong and Getty.
Sarah Isger
Anyone who has done this for a living is very familiar with the spouse who sits on Twitter and sees random accounts saying negative things that they don't think are true and says, I want to go out and defend this. And you're like, no, ma', am, we are not doing that. That would step on the message, et cetera, et cetera. What you saw was the team lose. You know, if the Streisand effect is when you file a lawsuit, that brings more attention to something. The Melania effect is when finally Epstein is out of the news. You have an entire war in the Middle east, and you're like, no, no, please, let's talk more about Epstein.
Joe Getty
So that's Sarah Isger of the Dispatch, who's really good. She used to work in the Trump administration, but. So I was out of town over the weekend, went to visit my parents, kids, grandparents in Kansas, and was checked out of the news. But I did see the headline that Melania came out and gave a speech about Epstein. What was that all about?
Michael
Nobody's sure. Nobody's sure. Some author is doing a couple of podcasts and claims that Epstein introduced her to Trump or that she modeled for him or might have been one of his victims, but nobody believed it. Nobody was talking about it. So the whole world, including the White House, apparently was blindsided. And it's like, why are you talking about Epstein?
Joe Getty
Well, I did see, like, a clip of her where she's, you know, this has got to stop. What has to stop?
Michael
These false stories, which are. Nobody knew.
Joe Getty
Okay. Yeah. Well, that is 100% the Streisand effect.
Michael
Oh, yeah, yeah. She literally came out to deny something nobody had heard or was talking about.
Joe Getty
She looked great, though.
Michael
Lovely, Al, lovely. Fluent in several languages. Anyway, here's a woman who's not fluent in any languages whatsoever. Late in the week last week, she thrilled us with this.
Jack Armstrong
Listen, I might, I might. I'm thinking about it, I'm thinking about it.
Michael
And then we played some really good
Joe Getty
words answering what question?
Michael
Will you run? Sorry? Will you run for president? See, I might, I might.
Joe Getty
I think she's just trying to keep her book tour alive. Is there any indication she's more serious than that about running for president? And if so, how is she so crazy?
Michael
Well, that was at Al Sharpton's outfit in New York City, their big rally. She was their invited guest, and the crowd went crazy. Just really, really happy about that. Right, but where did they find that crowd? Did you see the polls?
Joe Getty
But you do know that you're dead is an interest of any to anybody. The moment you say, I'm not running, it's like everybody just gets up out of their chair and leaves. Why would I listen to you then? Right.
Michael
Well, and then, Jack, you were out, I think. But she followed up 72, Michael. With this thought about if she runs.
Jack Armstrong
Look, the American people have a right to expect that anyone who wants to run for office and be a leader, that it can't be about themselves and what they want for themselves has got to be about the American people. And that's how I think of it. And I am thinking about it in the context of then, you know, is who and where and how can the best job be done for the American people?
Joe Getty
God, you forget her whole meandering parentheses comma, semicolon way of talking.
Michael
She has no capacity to end a
Joe Getty
thought to wrap up a sentence. She does not. A Rahma manual will chew her up and spit her out.
Michael
Oh, yeah, yeah, absolutely. And then the crack ang staff came up with this gem I was unfamiliar with this goes back a couple of years, but she's attempting. Next clip, Michael. Attempting to talk about inflation.
Jack Armstrong
Well, let's start with this. Prices have gone up and families and individuals are dealing with the realities of that bread costs more, that gas costs more, and we have to understand what that means. That's about the cost of living going up. That's about having to stress and stretch limited resources. That's about a source of stress for families that is not only economic, but is on a daily level, something that is a heavy weight to carry. So it is something that we take very seriously. Very seriously. And we know from the history of this issue in the United States that when you see these prices go up, it has a direct impact on the quality of life for all people in our country. So it's a big issue, and we take it seriously.
Michael
And that was right around when the Biden administration, of which she was veep, was flooding America with borrowed printed currency, trillions of dollars.
Joe Getty
Man, I, you know, you forget how bad she was at all that. And she. She always has had that thing that drives me crazy. Each phrase she acts like, who blew your mind? I'll give you a second to take that in because that was some heavy stuff.
Michael
Yeah. Kind of a. Her tone of voice implies touchdown dance after she makes the most mundane point.
Joe Getty
Right, Captain Banal. Just nothing.
Jack Armstrong
And thinking about it in the context of then, you know, is who and where and how
Joe Getty
exactly.
Michael
Pardon me.
Joe Getty
She. She seriously can't be thinking of running.
Michael
Oh, she can't.
Joe Getty
I mean, even if she's thinking of running, no money. People are going to come to her and say, I'm in. I'll give you a million dollars.
Michael
Right, that's. That's the thing. She's at the top of the polls just because they're name recognition polls.
Joe Getty
So was Jeb Bush. So was Rudy Giuliani. So was Hillary Clinton in 2008. So. So were lots of people with name recognition.
Michael
But let's not lose sight of the goal here, Jack. We're not talking about her winning. We're talking about her running for our entertainment.
Joe Getty
True, dad.
Michael
Right. So just get her to the starting line. She won't make it to Iowa again, but just get her to the starting line, please.
Joe Getty
I don't know if I was on the is part of the deal anymore.
Michael
Is it South Carolina? I guess now that you mentioned it, yeah. Yeah. If ancient Jim Clyburn has any say. Yeah. And he'll try to fix the game again. So let's conclude the discussion with little greatest hits package here, Michael.
Jack Armstrong
I grew up understanding the children of the community are. The children of the community need to get to go and need to be able to get where you need to go to do the work and get home. I don't know what's wrong with you young people. You think you just fell out of a coconut tree? I do believe that we should have rightly believed. But we certainly believe that certain issues are just settled. Certain issues are just settled.
Joe Getty
Clearly we're not.
Jack Armstrong
No, that's right. And that's why I do believe that we are living sadly in real unsettled times. I can imagine what can be and be unburdened by what has been.
Joe Getty
You know her all time best that when she thought worked in all settings. Oh, unburdened by what has been and will, whatever that is phrase she says.
Michael
I remember so vividly talking to people who'd worked with her in California and them saying, joe, she's an idiot. And me saying, no, come on, she's a liberal. I get you disagree. No, seriously, she's a dope and they couldn't convince me. Class A.
Joe Getty
Before we take a break, I've got the latest from open source intelligence on what's going on with us versus Iran and the blockade and all that sort of stuff. According to Axios, there is continued engagement between the US And Iran and forward motion on trying to get an agreement even with this last weekend's failed peace talks. Now, Ian Bremmer cynically says that was put out just before the markets open today to try to calm the markets rather than any actual peace talks. I don't know which is true.
Michael
Could be.
Joe Getty
And Donald Trump has stated that 34 ships transited the Strait of Hormuz yesterday, which he says is the highest number since the start of the war and has something to do with the blockade being the day where zero ships are
Guest Commentator
going to go through.
Michael
Has anybody signed up to help us yet on the blockade?
Joe Getty
No, no. He said there's a coalition of the willing that are going to help us, but there is nobody helping us currently. And still the open question is if a ship goes through, what are we going to do about it? We have 15 warships there that are either going to blast them out of the water or sail up next to them and commandeer the thing or who
Michael
knows what you got to take it and confiscate the cargo, sell it at auction.
Joe Getty
I'll be interesting to watch. I would assume somebody's going to send a ship through a day. It's like a test. It's not going to be some company. I mean, they're not going to do that. The companies already are.
Michael
No, no, no, no, no.
Joe Getty
It'd have to be Iran sending one through, right?
Michael
Yeah. Whether they'll do it today or soon, you would think they've got to test it. I'm just, I'm trying to think through what their strategy is at this point. What would bring the most economic pain to the most countries. Who then will tell America to call off the dogs? That's the Iranian strategy, obviously.
Joe Getty
Yeah. My theory earlier today was this is what I'd do if I was Iran. I just. Okay, let's keep it closed and see how long China and Europe are willing to put up with that. Not very long, I'm guessing, and. And let that happen, rather than try to force your way through and take on the United States.
Michael
Yeah, they'll probably have their PR people making the round saying, hey, we had a system for opening up. You just pay a little reasonable toll. And the US Is blockading it now. They're maniacs. What are you gonna do?
Joe Getty
Yeah.
Michael
And the Macrons of the world will say, point.
Joe Getty
I thought I hated JD Vance going to Hungary and campaigning for Urban last week. Hated that a lot. Thought that was absolutely awful. But I thought what JD said coming out of the 21 hours of failed peace talks, saying they didn't agree to anything. Look, this is a bigger problem for them than it is for us, so we're going home. I thought that was a good thing to say. This is a you problem. You're. You're not, like, stalling. This doesn't help you. It helps. It hurts you.
Michael
We're.
Joe Getty
We're fine. I thought that was a good way to approach it.
Michael
Will China put the squeeze on Iran to tell them to cooperate, to come to some sort of settlement? Because China is not going to sacrifice its economy to. Well, you know, the mullahs are good friends of ours and have been for a long time, and they really want a nuke. So I guess we got to stay on their side. There's no way Xi Jinping's thinking that. No way. I hope it breaks that way.
Joe Getty
It'll be something to watch today and tomorrow. We will finish strong.
Announcer
Next, Armstrong and Getty.
Mark Halperin
Hunter Biden, who said in December that he's about 15 million in debt and there's no generational wealth in his family, is looking to make some money. How would you do that if you were Hunter Biden? A man of a great education, Yale Law School, great creativity, got what I call The Brisma retainer. 50 grand a month. Here's Hunter's newest idea.
Hunter Biden
Hunter Biden here. I just got a call from Andrew Callahan. He asked me to come out on the Channel 5 Carnival Tour at the end of the month. I think we start in Phoenix and then we go to San Diego and we end in Albuquerque. And I think he's trying to organize a cage match. Me versus Eric and Don Jr. I told him I'd do it.
Mark Halperin
Mark, is that AI or is that real?
Joe Getty
I think it's weird enough to be real.
Mark Halperin
Yeah, sadly, that's real.
Joe Getty
That's from Mark Halperin's news program over the weekend. First of all, he was reporting over the weekend that the Biden family just in general, not just Hunter, because it's all one thing are they're broke, they're in really bad financial situation. They, they had a, you know, their monthly nut was probably a lot with all the different homes and their lifestyle and all the different kids and cars and stuff like that. And I don't know.
Michael
What did Halperin say? Hunter is in debt to the Tuna.
Joe Getty
He alone is $15 million in debt.
Michael
Oh my God.
Joe Getty
But the whole Hunter family thing with all their different homes and cars and trips and the way they've. They're really, really hurting and they got zero way to make money.
Michael
Is Dr. Jill going to have to start seeing patients again?
Joe Getty
Doc, it hurts when I do this.
Michael
Never forget.
Joe Getty
So if you, you know, if you needed some sort of karma to catch up to them after their years of running a crime family syndicate, it apparently it is happening. But how does Hunter sit there with a straight face and think the Trump kids are making lots of money in office also and wealthy and you know, in the thick of the best part of their lives probably.
Michael
Why would they traveling the world making zillions of dollars.
Joe Getty
Why would they do a cage match with you, Hunter, Loser, Biden.
Michael
It certainly couldn't be a drug addict relapsing when he's under enormous pressure. Man, is he on drugs? You'd have to be on drugs to suggest that. Or is that his dry humor that we all love so much?
Joe Getty
Oh my God. And it turned out nobody's as interested in his art as he originally thought. That had to be hurtful.
Michael
So yeah, his art, which was the hottest thing on the planet until the second Joe Biden had no influence.
Joe Getty
Yeah, that whole thing, unbelievable. And Hunters to the all get in a cage match with Eric or Don Jr. And how much? Well, I guess if you did pay per view, it could make a lot of money. The last, who are the YouTubers who do the energy drink and the one guy that fights Jake Paul, the last Jake Paul fight, he made like 80, 90 million dollars. That was a lot of money. So he, he's probably thinking one of those kind of deals.
Michael
Yeah, well, okay, great. Well, and if I went on pay per View and severed my head and then had it reattached successfully, I'd probably make even more than that. But it ain't never gonna happen.
Joe Getty
You're gonna sever your own head?
Michael
Well, no, I would. I would ask others with that job
Joe Getty
because you said so. I just. The way you presented it, it made it sound like you're severing your head. Well, it's just I would pay a lot in paper.
Michael
Exactly my point.
Joe Getty
If you're going to sever your own ahead and re.
Michael
Hey, we're just at the spitballing phase. But that's the. That's the rough outline. Yeah.
Joe Getty
How does he see where to put the sutures?
Michael
That's why it's so amazing. Oh, my God.
Joe Getty
That's not a lot more outlandish, though, than Hunter biting fighting Don Jr. In a cage match.
Michael
Yeah. Yeah. That's only slightly more likely than my scenario.
Joe Getty
Literally.
Michael
Yes. Katie. What?
Katie Greener
No, nothing. I'm just enjoying this ridiculous conversation.
Michael
That was my point. Ridiculous is the word.
Unknown Female Speaker
Yes.
Joe Getty
Who did Jake Paul fight last fight? It was actually a good fight.
Michael
Anthony Joshua.
Joe Getty
Oh, yeah. It was a guy. He was like a serious fighter, everything. That was a heck of a good fight. He got his jaw broken several times, but yeah, he made 80, $90 million from it. So I. I'm surprised we're gonna see more celebrities do that sort of thing. If you're the kind of name that can generate interest, there's a ton of money be made.
Michael
Celebrity boxing is back. I'd say yes. Check your clock. It's time to stop Jack and Joe. They've got to go. And if they don't get canned, they'll be back tomorrow.
Joe Getty
He seems to be a little wobbly. This in between part where he doesn't have the head on his shoulders.
Michael
The suturing is not going well.
Joe Getty
Jim, here's your host for final thoughts, Joe Getty.
Michael
Oh, I'll stop there. Let's get a final thought from everybody on the crew to wrap the show up for the day. Michelangelo in the control room with latest off. I'm just saying, if this actually were to happen, I'd pay probably 2939 to see that.
Katie Greener
The Trump kids versus Hunter Biden.
Joe Getty
Yeah, I'd pay.
Michael
I would have a hellacious party at my pad. Everybody's invited. Katie Greener, esteemed newswoman, has a final thought. Katie?
Katie Greener
I'll up that, Michael. I would pay probably the typical fight price of almost 100 bucks.
Joe Getty
I might go four figures. Oh, I was thinking about Joe cutting off his head and sort of back on.
Michael
Now we're on Hunter Biden. Jack, final thought.
Joe Getty
You know we got a text about that sex worker tape we played between Kristi Gnomes husband and the scumbag bimbification woman, who I call her scumbag because I think she taped it to blackmail him. I might agree with our texture.
Michael
I just sell it. Yeah, I might agree with the texture.
Joe Getty
That might be the worst thing we've ever played. I probably have more regret about that than anything we've ever done.
Hunter Biden
It's.
Michael
It's certainly in the very top tier of the bottom tier. Yes, yes indeed. My final thought, Great masters over the weekend. Rory McElroy triumphant over a field of excellent players. My boy Brian Campbell made the cut and finished I think tied for 27th, something like that. So well done, Brian. Great dude. Great your boy.
Joe Getty
Meaning he's a friend. Oh, okay, cool.
Michael
Yeah.
Joe Getty
Armstrong and Yeti wrapping up another grueling four hour workday.
Michael
So many people to thank. I talked about that Friday. Go to armstrongetty.com so many great links. Right today you gotta go click click away.
Joe Getty
We'll see you tomorrow. God bless America. Armstrong and Yeti.
Michael
All this hemming and hawing just makes no sense to me. Look, I don't think this is something that people need to be generally worried about.
Guest Commentator
Let me tell you what people care about.
Michael
I have resting open mouth face. That's the real problem here.
Unknown Female Speaker
If you don't know a damn thing about it, don't talk about it.
Joe Getty
Okay.
Michael
Or a person toting a penis.
Joe Getty
Person toting a penis.
Michael
You say it kind of totes itself, honestly and is the boldest package in U.S. history. Thank you all very much. Armstrong and Getty.
Episode: "I'd Sever My Own Head!"
Date: April 13, 2026
Podcast by iHeartPodcasts
This episode is a classic Armstrong & Getty blend of current events, irreverent humor, and commentary. The hosts, Jack Armstrong and Joe Getty, alongside their regular crew (Michael, Katie Greener), tackle topics ranging from the Artemis II moon mission return and American wealth mobility to political scandals, inflation "shrinkflation," viral celebrity boxing, and headline news involving political figures. As always, their signature mix of banter and skepticism colors the discussions—from cringeworthy leaked tapes to the absurd proposal of a Trump-Biden cage match.
[00:27 – 02:46]
"It gets incredibly rank in there … You lock four, five, six sweaty people in a tiny little room … inadequate bathroom situation." (Joe Getty, 01:16–01:33)
[03:05 – 10:03]
"You live better than Nelson Rockefeller or any of the super magnates of the … [past]." (Michael, 06:12)
[10:40 – 17:20]
[17:23 – 18:58]
[19:00 – 24:57]
“I do believe that we should have rightly believed. But we certainly believe that certain issues are just settled.” (Jack Armstrong, 24:28)
[25:13 – 28:42]
[28:49 – 33:46]
On astronaut capsule stench:
"[He] had to go back into the capsule for some reason. And he said it smelled so bad he almost threw up." (Joe Getty, 01:50)
On shrinkflation:
"You pick up the bag of chips and it feels like there are three chips in there and a lot of air. Come on." (Michael, 09:20)
Ethics of playing the scandal audio:
"I probably have more regret about that than anything we've ever done." (Joe Getty, 35:14)
On Kamala Harris’s communication style:
“Her tone of voice implies touchdown dance after she makes the most mundane point.” (Michael, 22:41)
On Hunter Biden’s cage match proposal:
"That's not a lot more outlandish, though, than Hunter biting fighting Don Jr. In a cage match." (Joe Getty, 33:08)
Faithful to Armstrong & Getty’s irreverent, skeptical, and conversational tone—blending news, satire, and banter. Notable for quick pivots, running jokes, lively panel reactions, and a blend of social commentary with everyday observations.
Summary for New Listeners:
This episode is packed with Armstrong & Getty’s uniquely sharp-tongued, wide-ranging commentary—from astronaut hygiene to economic trends, political optics, viral scandals, and celebrity spectacle. If you want a show that's unfiltered, informed (but never too serious), and full of biting humor and debate, this one delivers.