Armstrong & Getty On Demand – "Ill Advised Balls"
Date: December 17, 2025
Hosts: Jack Armstrong & Joe Getty
Podcast: Armstrong & Getty On Demand ([iHeartPodcasts])
Episode Overview
This episode dives into several core themes: the often absurd nature of international diplomacy (especially regarding Ukraine and Russia), the geopolitics around Venezuela, a revealing discussion of South Korea’s demographic crisis, and a heartfelt fundraising effort for Scouts scholarships. The hosts intertwine wit, personal stories, and sharp analogies, providing both humor and insight.
Main Discussion Points
1. The Futility of Current Ukraine "Peace" Negotiations
(06:00–12:17)
- Set-up: Armstrong & Getty review a New York Times piece about "peace plan" negotiations over Ukraine, noting the glaring omission: Russia isn't even part of the talks.
- Joe summarizes: Western diplomats are hashing out security guarantees for Ukraine, but Russia shows “no willingness to negotiate.”
- Jack analogizes the situation to MLB owners, umpires, and league officials agreeing on rules for players—who refuse to participate.
- The hosts lampoon the entire process by likening it to making elaborate wedding plans with a celebrity (Sydney Sweeney) who doesn't know you exist.
Notable Quotes:
- Joe (07:19): "That's like me saying my marriage plans with Sydney Sweeney remain out of reach for the moment as she has no knowledge that I exist or interest in marrying me. I mean, it's the same level of ridiculous."
- Jack (09:05): "At least they should do us the favor of saying clearly, these two proposals have serious areas of conflict and each must be altered significantly before we can talk about an agreement."
- Joe (11:31): "So you and the caterer have finally agreed on the buffet, moving you closer to a final agreement with Sydney Sweeney."
2. Venezuela and U.S. Policy: The “Ill-Advised Cojones”
(12:17–14:11)
- News: President Trump has enacted a “total and complete blockade” on sanctioned Venezuelan oil tankers.
- Hosts ask: Would Venezuelan forces dare confront the U.S. Navy? No, say the hosts; that’s not bravery, that’s “suicide.”
- Armstrong explains: The U.S. strategy is to choke off money to Maduro's regime, hoping cracks appear among loyalists when the money dries up.
Notable Quote:
- Jack (13:12): "That wouldn't be having cojones. That'd be stupid, right?"
3. Scouting Scholarships and Listener Fundraising
(17:11–21:54, 24:27–24:49, 40:16–41:14)
- Mission: The show is raising funds so any child can join scouts, regardless of financial circumstances.
- Listener stories highlight how scouting changes young people's confidence, resilience, and leadership.
- Anecdotes:
- A cushy kid who, after a week in the wild, vows never again to say "I can't" (18:31).
- An ex-Scout emphasizes the real-world preparation the Eagle project gave him (19:53).
- Fundraising Totals: Listeners donate with humorous pseudonyms, including "Can you see my privates?" and "Miss South Carolina. Some people don't have maps."
- Progress: Over $79,000 at recording; target is $100,000.
Notable Quotes:
- Listener Email (19:53, read by Jack): "Nothing in my four years of college came close to teaching me real-world experience and responsibilities than my Eagle project did."
4. South Korea’s Dramatically Low Fertility Rate
(25:49–37:34)
- Choice: In a new segment ("Jack Makes the Choice"), the show examines why South Korean women are having so few children.
- Facts & Stats:
- South Korea’s fertility rate was over 6 in 1960, now it’s about 0.8 (way below replacement).
- Sociocultural factors: intense work culture, high academic pressures, and a significant gender employment gap.
- Many women are pressured to leave work if pregnant; "27% report being coerced into signing illegal contracts, promising to resign" (32:47).
- Super-competitive education: “Almost 80% of children attend a hagwon" (cram school).
- Result: Material success, but highest suicide rate in the world.
- Broader context: While all advanced societies see declining fertility with prosperity, South Korea’s extreme work culture is unique.
- Philosophical reflection:
- Jack: “Cultures are like individuals. They can get diseased.” (34:27)
- Joe muses on generational motivation: If people have no children, what compels them to care about the country’s future?
Notable Quotes:
- Armstrong (28:06): “Its population, optimistically, is projected to shrink by over two thirds in the next 100 years if current fertility rates persist.”
- Getty (34:21): “Miserable. They’ve got the highest suicide rate in the world, I think.”
- Armstrong (34:27): “Cultures are like individuals. They can get diseased. And just because a culture is something doesn't mean it should be something.”
5. Miscellaneous Banter, Humor & Listener Stories
(Throughout)
- UFO Movie: Joking about Spielberg’s new scary UFO film, Jack pretends to have "wet himself," leading to riffs about horror sounds and scary TV shows (03:33–04:29).
- Parental mishaps: Story of a child licking a Target bathroom drain—maybe the grossest possible thing a parent can witness (41:10–41:57).
- "Leftist mentality in a nutshell" cartoon: Satirical commentary on modern discourse, with ants biting a man while a companion chides "not all ants" (24:56–25:41).
- "Jack Makes the Choice": Audience votes between unusual topics—South Korea’s fertility wins over “J.D. Vance is the white Ibram X. Kendi” (25:46–26:23).
Notable Quotes:
- Jack, on Target drain story (41:26): “If you tried hard, you could come up with a more disgusting place to lick. But I don't want to be part of that brainstorming session. That's gross.”
- Joe, on the parenting lesson (41:44): “You know me. I'm free range dad… I see that, I'm screaming, snatching them up, drawing the line.”
Key Timestamps
- Ukraine/Russia peace process critique: 06:00–12:17
- Venezuela oil blockade discussion: 12:17–14:11
- Scouting fundraising & anecdotes: 17:11–21:54, 24:27–24:49, 40:16–41:14
- South Korea fertility deep dive: 25:49–37:34
- Funniest stories (UFOs, scary shows, bathroom drains): 03:33–04:29, 41:10–41:57
- Listener donations & witticisms: 16:38–17:11, 18:06–18:24, 24:27–24:49, 40:16–41:14
Memorable Quotes
- Joe Getty (07:19): "My marriage plans with Sydney Sweeney remain out of reach for the moment as she has no knowledge that I exist or interest in marrying me."
- Jack Armstrong (28:06): "Its population, optimistically, is projected to shrink by over two thirds in the next 100 years if current fertility rates persist."
- Joe Getty (34:21): "They've got the highest suicide rate in the world, I think."
- Listener Email (19:53): "Nothing in my four years of college came close to teaching me real-world experience and responsibilities than my Eagle project did."
Tone and Style
Armstrong & Getty’s signature mix of irreverence, dry humor, cultural critique, and personal storytelling is woven throughout. The hosts rely on sharp analogies (elaborate wedding plans with an oblivious movie star, biting ants as a metaphor for misguided discourse) while grounding more serious issues (war, societal decline) in relatable anecdotes. Banter and callbacks to listeners’ jokes make even their fundraising efforts engaging.
Conclusion
"I'll Advised Balls" combines sharp political and cultural analysis with the lightness of personal and listener stories. Armstrong & Getty poke fun at world leaders’ diplomatic charades, expose the roots of South Korea’s demographic crisis, champion the value of scouting for youth, and always make room for a good laugh (or groan) along the way.
To donate or learn more about their Scouts scholarship drive: armstrongandgetty.com
Final Thoughts Segment (43:33)
- Michelangelo donates to the drive ("listening to CD and staring off while running the AG show").
- Katie Greener plugs a new video ("AI George Washington") on their site.
- Jack & Joe urge listeners to help reach their updated goal before year’s end, reminding all how transformative scouting can be.
Jack’s final thought: “Anybody who thinks a bourbon is going to be a bourbon is a fool. I could use a nap. Feel slightly weakened.” (43:25)
[Advertising, intros, and outros omitted as requested.]