I'll Buy My Own Lotion

Summary

Armstrong & Getty On Demand: "I'll Buy My Own Lotion" – Detailed Summary

Episode Overview

In the December 4, 2024 episode of Armstrong & Getty On Demand titled "I'll Buy My Own Lotion," hosts Armstrong and Getty delve into a mixture of political discourse and lighthearted neighborhood anecdotes. This episode balances serious discussions about current political events with humorous takes on everyday observations, providing listeners with both insightful commentary and relatable humor.

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Political Commentary: The Hunter Biden Pardon Debate Timestamp: 02:01 – 05:21

The episode begins with a brief interruption for advertisements before Armstrong and Getty transition into a discussion about President Biden's potential pardon of his son, Hunter Biden. Getty references Jon Stewart's critique of Jamie Raskin, highlighting the political tensions surrounding the pardon.

• Getty (02:29): "CT mobile.com no thanks. I'll buy my own lotion. It's One More Thing Armstrong and Getty One More Thing an odd tale to tell before the end of the One More Thing podcast."

• Katie (02:45): Expresses frustration about omitted content, leading the hosts to delve deeper into political topics.

• Getty (03:41): Critiques Jamie Raskin, describing him as "an eloquent, utterly dishonest hardcore partisan on the left" and laments the absence of Democratic voices raising concerns about the pardon's legitimacy.

• Armstrong (04:14): Asks, "Do you think President Biden should pardon Hunter Biden?"

• Getty (05:00): Emphasizes skepticism about the use of executive power, stating, "Should he just hold him to make him answer the damn question."

This segment underscores the hosts' critical stance on the interplay between political influence and executive decisions, framing the discussion within the broader context of partisan politics.

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Neighborhood Anecdotes: The Free Stuff Fiasco Timestamp: 05:20 – 14:00

Shifting gears, Armstrong and Getty engage in a humorous exchange about the oddities found in neighborhood "free" boxes—a common practice where residents leave unused items for others to take.

• Getty (05:20): Shares a personal story about finding a box filled with seemingly useless items like brake fluid, mineral oil, Febreze, and canned goods. He describes his curiosity: "I couldn't help myself but look through to see if there's anything I need there."

• Katie (06:17): Reacts with amusement, noting, "Just don't enforce it at the government's gunpoint, please."

• Getty (07:21): Narrates discovering dented and potentially unsafe canned goods, musing on the unpredictability of their condition: "Is there some canned goods, like some canned raspberries and canned beans of some sort... There's three."

• Katie (07:26): Light-heartedly fantasizes about making "grandma's old cranberries and beans recipe," highlighting the absurdity of the situation.

• Getty (10:16): Introduces the episode's title anecdote by describing a particularly off-putting find: "A third bottle of lotion... They were both like, oh my God... I don't want somebody else's 2/3 used bottle of lotion."

• Katie (12:58): Adds humor by questioning the fate of the lotion owner, leading to speculative and funny scenarios about the item's origin.

• Getty (13:08): Compares the situation to horror movie tropes, saying, "That's a Silence of the Lamb Texas Chainsaw Massacre."

This segment not only provides comedic relief but also touches on human behavior and community practices, illustrating how everyday encounters can lead to entertaining stories.

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Conclusion

Throughout the episode, Armstrong and Getty seamlessly blend political analysis with amusing personal stories, engaging listeners with their distinctive banter and perspectives. By addressing serious topics like presidential pardons and interweaving them with relatable humor about neighborhood finds, the hosts create a dynamic and engaging listening experience.

Notable Quotes:

• Getty (03:41): "Jamie Raskin... has been reduced to."
• Getty (05:00): "Should he just hold him to make him answer the damn question."
• Getty (10:34): "I don't want somebody else's 2/3 used bottle of lotion."
• Katie (12:58): "That's the potential for horror a tad high."

Final Thoughts

For listeners who enjoy a blend of insightful political discussions and lighthearted storytelling, "I'll Buy My Own Lotion" offers both depth and entertainment. Armstrong and Getty's chemistry ensures that whether tackling national issues or sharing quirky local tales, the conversation remains engaging and meaningful.

Transcript

[Armstrong]

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[Getty]

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[Armstrong]

Minimum of 4 lines for $25 per.

[Getty]

Line per month with auto pay discount.

[Armstrong]

Using debit or bank account. $5 more per line without autopay plus taxes and fees and $10 device connection. Charge phones via 24 monthly bill credits for well qualified customers. Contact us before canceling entire account to continue bill credits or credit stop and.

[Getty]

Balance on a required finance agreement due.

[Armstrong]

Bill credits end if you pay off devices early.

[Getty]

CT mobile.com no thanks. I'll buy my own lotion. It's One More Thing Armstrong and Getty One More Thing an odd tale to tell before the end of the One More Thing podcast.

[Katie]

But first, can't believe we didn't get to this. There was so much great stuff on the radio show today. We just, we left out a lot of really, really worthy material, including this.

[Getty]

What we used to say all the time, a six pound show and a five pound bag. That's what we are.

[Katie]

Well, we had like eight and a half pounds today. But Jon Stewart the other day talking about the Hunter Biden pardon, had all sorts of great comedic riffs. He was as cynical as you ought to be about this. But one of my favorite aspects of it is he featured Jamie Raskin. Was he treated for cancer or something at one point? Yeah, yeah, because he was wearing a bandana over his head a lot. He's evidently doing better now and he's got his hair back. But he is a very eloquent, utterly dishonest hardcore partisan on the left. But he's very, very bright. There's no doubting that. And John Stewart, I think he sets this up pretty well, but he's talking about Jamie Raskin.

[Getty]

This is what Biden's decision has done. Look how confident and eloquent our Democratic representatives were back when they thought they had the moral high ground on this issue. I've not heard a single Democrat anywhere in the country cry fraud, cry fixed, cry rigged, cry kangaroo court. You don't hear a single peep out of any Democrats saying that. Why? We believe in the rule of law. And now look at what even he, one of the most verbally dexterous attorneys we have on Capitol Hill has been reduced to.

[Armstrong]

Do you think President Biden should pardon Hunter Biden?

[Getty]

So there are lots of claims of political prosecution and political prosecution.

[Armstrong]

And was Hunter politically?

[Getty]

Well, I mean, obviously that's a judicial point and you've got to look at what the evidence is. And I don't know enough.

[Armstrong]

Should the president pardon him?

[Getty]

I mean, again, that is a unilateral executive power.

[Armstrong]

That. And should he use it?

[Getty]

Well, the power exists for the president to show mercy for people.

[Armstrong]

I mean.

[Getty]

We have an executive and we have a judicial and then a legislative. And then smoke bomb. That got laughed out of me.

[Katie]

That was. That was that gal on cnn.

[Getty]

Yeah. Whoever she is.

[Katie]

Was that what's her face? I can't remember her name because it doesn't matter. She'll be unemployed next week. But to her credit, I wish more interviewers would do that. Yeah, yeah. Should he use it? No, no, no. But could he. Should he just hold him to make him answer the damn question.

[Getty]

Right.

[Katie]

That was great.

[Getty]

Heels, smoke bomb and jumps under his desk. That's hilarious.

[Katie]

So I love it.

[Getty]

I found this funny yesterday. I'll see what you think of it. So I live in a town where they do this sort of thing regularly. It. We're kind of a communist town. And, you know, there's. There's a tiny bit of truth to the whole. Tim Walls, boy, I almost couldn't come up with the name when he said, one man's socialism is another man's neighborliness or whatever. And there's a tiny bit of truth to that. But in my town, it's pretty common to, like, put out a giant bucket of books and say, you know, take one, leave one, or whatever they just said that kind of stuff is all over the place. Dog food or bags for picking up dog poop or just things like that. And the idea is that we'll all share together because we're all working together. But this is the funny story.

[Katie]

Just don't enforce it at the government's gunpoint, please.

[Getty]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I'm fine with it. In fact, I think it's really nice. But somebody had put out a box full of just, like, crap they had. And a sign that said free. And it was in the lawn as we were walking to the gym. And I stopped and took a picture of it. And I was looking over the stuff because I. It's funny the way human beings are built. I, like, couldn't help myself but look through to see if there's anything I need there. Even though I can go out and buy any of these things if I wanted to. It's just, you know, it's a human nature thing, I guess. Like, there was a can of brake fluid. Like a half. A can of brake fluid. Okay.

[Katie]

Ah, you never know.

[Getty]

You never. Mineral oil, which is also for your brake lines. Okay. A can of Febreze. Okay. One of those just. Is that the stuff you spray around your house to make it smell a little better? Yeah. Okay. Okay. I could see. Is there some canned goods, like some canned raspberries and canned beans of some Sort. Okay, there's three.

[Katie]

I could whip up grandma's old cranberries and beans recipe.

[Getty]

Well, and again, you don't know how old this stuff is. I mean, look at the dater, what it's been doing in terms of heat and cold. This is in your garage for five summers or right there.

[Katie]

It's a little bulgy, but what the heck, how bad could it be?

[Getty]

Three cans of A and W root beer. Pretty dented and dirty. You definitely want to wash these off before you open them up. I mean, you're talking about 30 cents worth of material here.

[Katie]

But you know, again, as sins go, this is very, very minor. But if I have three cans of Sodipop, I don't want. How instead of just pouring them down the sink and putting the cans in the recycling, do you decide? You know what I'll do? I'll put these out front in case there's somebody thirsty for dented A and W and otherwise can't. I don't. I would never have that impulse.

[Armstrong]

They probably figured some homeless person was going to come by and just swipe the whole box and get rid of their crap is what I'm thinking.

[Getty]

Yeah, this is not a neighborhood where a homeless person is going to come by. So maybe, I don't know, a container. Half used container of Tums.

[Armstrong]

What?

[Katie]

He feels better, okay? He wants to share with his fellow human being. Maybe you drink the A W root beer too fast. Oh, my stomach.

[Armstrong]

Don't you keep the Tums around just in case though? Like, you're good. I mean, you're gonna get a stomach ache again.

[Getty]

Well, I don't want to stick my fingers into a container of Tums that who knows who has had their hands in before. I mean, I just find a.

[Katie]

Maybe the raspberries and beans aren't sitting well. I don't know. Was it raspberries or cranberries?

[Getty]

Raspberry.

[Katie]

Raspberries and beans.

[Getty]

Maybe the AW. Root beer had gotten 110 degrees, then 29 degrees. Too many seasons in a row. And I need the Tums.

[Katie]

It was a little congealed.

[Getty]

A deck of playing cards which I almost grabbed. I thought, what am I? Where am I in my life that I'm doing this?

[Katie]

What was the theme? Was it. Was it like a souvenir? Or was it just like your classic.

[Getty]

Just like your regular playing cards? Which is what got my attention. An empty glasses case. Anybody who wears glasses or sunglasses at all has like a million of these laying around.

[Katie]

How many would you like write us at mailbag?

[Armstrong]

@Armstrongetty.Com between the whole team, I'm sure there's quite few.

[Getty]

Oh, please.

[Katie]

We could open up a store.

[Getty]

But there's like a whole bunch of. There's Febreze, there's Lysol. I mean, I don't know what they're doing in their house, but there's like five different brands of spraying around to try to make your house not smell so bad. I don't know what their deal is. Maybe the raspberries give you the wins.

[Armstrong]

Yeah.

[Getty]

So I was thinking.

[Katie]

Yeah, yeah, exactly. But finally they took a half a roll of Tums and felt a lot better and thought, eh, we don't need all this deodorizer anymore, apparently.

[Getty]

But though, for whatever reason, the one that grossed me and my son out the most was this. A third bottle of lotion.

[Armstrong]

Ah, okay.

[Getty]

We were both like, oh my God.

[Armstrong]

The can't miss item. Oh, okay.

[Getty]

P. Diddy.

[Armstrong]

Yeah, I just.

[Getty]

I don't want somebody else's 2/3 used bottle of lotion. I don't know why I find that so gross, but just something weirdly off putting about that to me.

[Katie]

Did this person's bean eaten root beer drinking, upset stomach, poor pooping dry SK Card enthusiast, obviously. Did they, did they move out or what?

[Armstrong]

They only took their glasses.

[Katie]

You know this lotion. I don't use this lotion, Katie.

[Getty]

They only took their glasses. Hilarious. Well, when I'm playing cards and eating raspberries, I get the eczema, so you know how it is.

[Katie]

Sit around my skin, dries out.

[Getty]

Causes me to flatulate. In which case I need all the Febreze or Lysol or four other kinds of products I'd barely ever heard of.

[Armstrong]

Wow.

[Getty]

I just thought that was a fun assortment of things.

[Armstrong]

Yeah, what a random.

[Katie]

And yet it's a person who does their own breaks.

[Getty]

Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly. I hadn't even zoomed in on this one can. Progresso New England clam chowder. Now that's something you want to know. Oh, where that can's been before you open that up.

[Katie]

Anything with seafood in it? I check the best buy date. Just, you know, I'm not paranoid, but the idea that. Yeah, yeah, the seafood's been in your garage for three years or whatever.

[Armstrong]

Yeah.

[Katie]

Or just you left it in your car for an afternoon and it heated up to. No, no, I'm going to need those Tums. Glad I grabbed them.

[Getty]

And this is not. I don't want to sound like a certain sort of person and this just because of real estate in California, Everything like that. What everything costs? This is in the yard of a house that probably costs $1.4 million.

[Armstrong]

Sure.

[Getty]

So somebody else's old lotion. Oh, my God.

[Armstrong]

You know, I don't know that I've ever thought about that bothering me before, but that really grosses me out. I know.

[Katie]

Well, well, well. Yeah. I mean, the potential for horror is a tad high. I mean, you're rubbing it on your skin. But now tell me this.

[Getty]

Or your lampshade, depending on the sort of person you are.

[Katie]

Wow, that's a. That's a Silence of the Lamb Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

[Getty]

Yeah, exactly. I don't know what they're doing with their weird old clam chowder and decks of cards.

[Katie]

Was it the sort of lotion you would like, have to shake out into your hand or was it a pump?

[Getty]

It was the tube. Like you would squeeze it out under your. Oh, and it would have some remnants around the top of whoever used it before.

[Katie]

Oh, I know. No remnants, please.

[Armstrong]

You know, I'm picturing this person maybe as a carny and they use. They used to break fluid to, you know, oil up the tilt, a whirl or something. Unicycle.

[Getty]

You pieced it together, Columbo. Well, I guess that's it. That was funny, Katie. Card playing.

[Armstrong]

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[Getty]

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[Armstrong]

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