Armstrong & Getty On Demand
Episode: I'm More Rigid Than Your Average Person
Date: January 9, 2026
Host: Jack Armstrong & Joe Getty
Producer: iHeartPodcasts
Episode Overview
This episode sets the tone for the beginning of 2026, blending the Armstrong & Getty trademark mix of humor, cultural commentary, political observations, and a tour through their unique traditions. The show covers reactions to current news—ranging from the portrayal of criminal suspects in the media, to the political landscape in Arkansas, to technology trends from CES—while also delivering fan-favorite segments like "Clips of the Week" and the annual "List of Things Jack Has Never Done." A mood of bemused skepticism and irreverence runs throughout, with riffs on everything from dry January to robot vacuums to internet influencer drama.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Media Narratives and Perceptions in Crime Reporting
- Portrayal of Suspects: Jack and Joe open with satirical commentary on how media outlets present criminal suspects, humorously comparing media narratives to the hypothetical sympathetic coverage of Hitler at WWII’s end.
- Quote:
"Here's how ABC News would have reported the end of World War II. The American forces surrounded the home of the vegetarian Austrian artist and his newlywed bride and so terrorized them that they were forced to commit suicide."
— Joe Getty (02:02)
- Quote:
- Critique of Media Strategies: They question the tendency to "oversell" the humanity of individuals involved in high-profile incidents.
2. Politics & Authenticity in Campaigns
- Arkansas Senate Race: The hosts dissect the background of Hallie Schoffner, branding her Senate campaign as more image than reality and lamenting the TV-character nature of modern politics.
- Quote:
"That's the state of politics these days. But you know, that's what you're doing. You're selling a TV character."
— Jack Armstrong (07:49)
- Quote:
- Discussion on Activism: They detail her shift from farming to left-wing activism and non-profit work, critiquing the modern political trajectory.
3. Technology at CES 2026
- Favorite Gadgets: The duo reviews highlights from the Consumer Electronics Show, fascinated by:
- Ultra-thin “wallpaper” TVs (15:08)
- Stair-climbing robotic vacuums (14:28)
- Smart blocks from Lego (16:13)
- Devices designed to reduce smartphone dependency (17:44)
- Robot lawnmowers that (hopefully) avoid running over pets (17:53)
- On Tech Overload: They appreciate efforts to create off-screen alternatives, recognizing increased public awareness of screen addiction.
- Quote:
"It's interesting that people are making devices that make it somewhat more difficult to use your favorite device you waste the most time on."
— Jack Armstrong (16:44)
- Quote:
4. Personal Habits & Dry January
- Resolutions and ‘Quitter’s Day’: The hosts discuss their experience (or lack thereof) with "dry January," reflecting on how culture changes drinking habits.
- Quote:
"I am bad at relaxing unless I have a drink. I'm also aware that it is the greatest boredom reliever on earth."
— Joe Getty (10:19)
- Quote:
- Self-discipline: They share mixed success stories with New Year’s resolutions and reflect on shifting social attitudes to drinking.
5. Online Conservative Drama
- Commentary on Influencers: Briefly, Jack and Joe riff on the public disputes between high-profile commentators like Tucker Carlson, Megyn Kelly, Ben Shapiro, Candace Owens, and Alex Jones, describing it as “very online” noise more than meaningful discourse (19:20–20:11).
6. Annual Traditions: Lists & Band Names
- 2025 Band Names & Book Titles: Mary in San Jose provides a recap of all the bizarre hypothetical band names and book titles created on air, leading to much laughter.
- Highlights Include:
- Plague of the Killer Squirrels
- Masculinist Orgy of War
- Drag Queen Meteor
- Axe Murdering Perverts (see 21:49–25:00)
- Highlights Include:
- List of Things Jack Has Never Done:
A long and hilarious catalog of activities Jack Armstrong claims he’s never tried (e.g., never had a pastrami sandwich, never used a coaster, never seen Game of Thrones), underscoring his self-confessed "rigidity."- Quote:
"I suppose I could come up with my own, but there aren't... I don't think there are that many. ...Well, I'm more rigid than your average person."
— Jack Armstrong (29:23–29:26)
- Quote:
7. Oddities & Curiosities
- My Strange Addiction Clip: The show features an audio from a woman who snorts food, leading to deadpan comic reactions.
- Quote:
"I do not see snorting my food as a problem… It has really no drawbacks, except nobody accepts my habit."
— TV audio (29:36–30:04)
"Put her in a roadside stand and charge a bucket... next to a two-headed calf."
— Jack Armstrong (30:13–30:22)
- Quote:
8. International News Nuggets
- Iran & Media Strategy: They reflect on how international regimes (like Iran’s government) manipulate news cycles, noting even dictators observe the US Friday Night “news dump” tradition (31:46–32:36).
- U.S. Buying Greenland?: Joe reads reports of the Trump administration discussing lump sum offers to Greenlanders as a bid to acquire the country, riffing on political absurdities (32:36–34:16).
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
-
On Dry January Success:
"I have not had a dessert or sweet and I've been in the gym every day, so, so far so good."
— Jack Armstrong (08:28) -
On Band Names Tradition:
"Every year for 26 years. I don't know how long we've been doing it, but it... I'm so sad. I'm sorry, so sorry we missed it."
— Joe Getty (30:32–30:39) -
On Technology:
"One of the great leap forwards in technology… the little speakers have gotten so good."
— Jack Armstrong (12:54) -
On Greenland, Deadpan:
"Get over yourself. You live on a cold rock."
— Jack Armstrong (34:47)
Segment Timestamps
- Media & Crime Reporting Satire: 01:26–02:31
- Arkansas Senate Race Parody: 05:47–08:04
- CES Gadget Review & Tech Talk: 12:19–18:47
- Dry January and Habits: 08:27–11:24
- Conservative Media Drama: 19:20–20:11
- Annual Band Names & Things Jack Hasn’t Done: 20:11–29:29
- My Strange Addiction (Snorting Food): 29:36–30:22
- Iran, OSINT & International Politics: 30:52–34:16
- Greenland Buying Satire: 32:36–34:16
- Closing Thoughts and Wrap Up: 34:52–36:50
Closing Thoughts
Each host and crew member offers a brief final thought, with the dominant sentiment a blend of fatigue and dark humor about the ongoing, tumultuous pace of current events.
-
Jack Armstrong:
"If this is the start of 26, kind of reminds me... everybody was waiting for 2020 to get over and 2021 started out crazier... we might have that thing going on this year." (35:38)
-
Joe Getty:
"My final thought is that Philly sheriff saying ICE agents are fake cops... I hope not. Somebody's got to get to her. You can't say stuff like that as a public official." (35:52)
Summary
This episode delivers the full Armstrong & Getty experience: irreverent, rapid-fire, unpredictable, and wryly observant. From lampooning media narratives to nerding out over CES gadgets, from dissecting political authenticity to indulging in their own peculiar annual traditions, Jack and Joe keep the pace brisk—and the laughs steady—all while musing on the weirdness of contemporary American (and global) life. For longtime fans, this episode is a trove of callbacks and inside jokes; for newcomers, it’s a zesty primer on the Armstrong & Getty style.