It Tried To Give You A Happy Ending & You Yanked It Right Off

Summary

Armstrong & Getty On Demand

Episode: "It Tried To Give You A Happy Ending & You Yanked It Right Off"

Date: January 9, 2026
Podcast: Armstrong & Getty On Demand (iHeartPodcasts)
Hosts: Jack Armstrong & Joe Getty

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Episode Overview

This episode dives deep into a week of controversial law enforcement news, centering on a confrontation between federal ICE agents and local law enforcement in Portland and Philadelphia. Armstrong and Getty examine incendiary rhetoric from public officials, the politicization of basic law enforcement duties, and the way media narratives amplify or distort these situations. The conversation expands to include social dynamics, such as public behavior in shared spaces and the rise of "conspirituality"—the blend of conspiracy theories and spiritual beliefs, particularly among women who participated in the January 6th riots. The show closes with a lighter look at the Consumer Electronics Show and the pitfalls of new technology.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. ICE Shooting Incident and Media Narratives

[00:58–05:57]

• Initial reports emerge of federal agents shooting and arresting a married couple in Portland. The hosts criticize the media's framing, emphasizing context:

  • The apparent target was a Venezuelan national linked to a violent gang.
  • The shooting happened as the suspects tried to run over law enforcement.

• Discussion on officials calling for a full halt to ICE operations, with the hosts mocking the idea:

  • Joe Getty: "Name another federal agency that ought to suspend all of its operations. If there's a single incident, that's probably fine, but we're going to look into. That's ridiculous, man. These people are like children." (04:36)

2. Philadelphia Sheriff vs. Federal Authority

[03:02–11:25, 13:00+]

• Clips are played of the Philadelphia sheriff's inflammatory statements calling ICE "fake law enforcement" and threatening to arrest agents:

  • "'You don't want this smoke because we will bring it to you.'" (Jack Armstrong quoting the sheriff at [04:00], [10:48])
  • The sheriff claims ICE is "Trump's new army to attack citizens of the United States."

• Hosts express shock:

  • Joe Getty: "That's unbelievable. ICE agents are fake law enforcement. And we'll arrest them for enforcing... Well, for, you know, coming in here and trying to do their job enforcing federal immigration law." (04:10)
  • The tone is incredulous and alarmed, repeatedly emphasizing the seriousness of a law enforcement leader adopting this stance.

• Comedic riffing on the idea of ignoring other federal laws in one's own city ("no tax sanctuary city in Joeville").

3. Law Enforcement Perspectives: Contrasts

[06:51–07:36]

• Play of Chicago PD Superintendent Larry Snelling's statement, offering a grounding counterpoint:

  • "Federal agents, ICE, HSI are officers. They are agents of law enforcement... If you box them in with vehicles, it is reasonable for them to believe that they are being ambushed and that this could end in a deadly situation." ([07:06–07:20])

• Hosts appreciate the adult, rational perspective:

  • Joe Getty: "A grown up. Yeah, we just spotted a grown up with binoculars from a distance." ([07:42])

4. Online Influence & Overheated Rhetoric

[08:03–10:41]

• Clip is played of a trans influencer painting the ICE shooting as the murder of an innocent person fleeing danger; hosts use this as a segue into discussing the emotionality and escalation in digital spaces.

• Joe Getty: Highlights the disconnect between nuanced public safety dialogue and viral, moralistic condemnation on social media.

5. Social Decay, Public Etiquette, and Generational Changes

[15:05–19:13]

• Discussion on deteriorating public behavior: talking loudly during performances, children in museums, and a lack of basic etiquette in public spaces.
  • Joe Getty: "Why are you taking your young kids there? They're bored to death... get a sitter and come on your own..." ([17:02])
  • Hosts muse about “museum cattle prods” and societal indifference to public decorum.

6. January 6th, "Conspirituality," and Female Extremism

[20:42–31:46]

• Segment on the "QAnon Shaman" turning against Trump and the harshness of his sentencing:

  • "Ridiculous because of his headwear." (Joe Getty, [21:07])

• In-depth exploration of a new book about women in the January 6th riot:

  • Many female participants were not deeply political, but vulnerable to online spiritual-cum-conspiratorial communities—dubbed "conspirituality."
  • Discussion of trauma, searching for meaning, and online radicalization.
  • Michael (producer): "A crossover that has come to be known as conspirituality." ([23:03])
  • Joe Getty: "That helps explain to those of us who don't have trauma... why we're not looking for a world view that makes me feel comfortable..." ([25:17])

• Differences in how men and women engaged with Covid conspiracies:

  • Men: bio-weapon/hoax theories.
  • Women: conspiracies involving children and spiritual narratives.

• Hosts dip into the mechanics of "soul contracts" and poke gentle fun at mystical jargon:

  • Joe Getty: "Repeating life patterns are pre planned lessons as part of your soul contract. So if you keep doing stupid things over and over again, you can't help it. You got you signed the soul contract. You should ask a lawyer." ([30:10])

• Final thoughts on how conspirituality mimics addictive behaviors and may fill a void left by declining traditional religions.

7. Relationships: Louis CK’s Cynicism

[33:00–34:51]

• Armstrong recounts a Louis CK bit about relationships:
  • "There are only two stages. You're either single or you're in a s--- relationship... You're in love now, it'll turn into a crap relationship. They all do."
  • Hosts react with a mixture of humor and concern:
    • Joe Getty: "What an incredibly... Well, wrong, but just negative, sad." ([34:32])

8. Consumer Electronics Show and "Bad Robotics"

[35:00–37:40]

• Discussion of CES 2026: ‘the year of the bad robot’ – robots clumsily folding laundry and failing at basic tasks.

  • Michael: "Tried to give you a happy ending and he yanked it right off." ([36:08], episode title referenced)
  • Hosts riff on robot mishaps ("broke five of my ribs," "kicked the guy right in the junk").

• Preview of further CES coverage in the next hour.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Philadelphia Sheriff Clip:
  • "Let know that law enforcement professionals, real ones, not the fake made up ICE, probably Trump's new army to attack citizens of the United States... You don’t want this smoke because we will bring it to you." ([04:00], [10:48], referenced throughout)
• Joe Getty:
  • "A grown up. Yeah, we just spotted a grown up with binoculars from a distance." ([07:42])
  • "How is that not the same thing?" (on ‘no tax’ sanctuary, [05:57])
• Jack Armstrong:
  • “Did she say here comes the judge at one point, or did I just imagine.” ([06:36])
• Michael:
  • "Much like the drugs that induce psychosis, conspirituality itself also functions like an addictive substance." ([30:39])
• Joe Getty:
  • "I need to find it out on my soul contract. It's got to be a loophole." ([31:58])
• Jack Armstrong (Louis CK Bit):
  • "There are only two stages. You're either single or you're in a s--- relationship... you're in love now it'll turn into a crap relationship..." ([33:57])
• Michael:
  • "Tried to give you a happy ending and you yanked it right off." ([36:08])
• Joe Getty:
  • "My ribs, my ribs." ([37:37])

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• ICE shooting & media coverage – [00:58–05:57]
• Philadelphia sheriff's statements & law enforcement satire – [03:02–11:25], [13:00+]
• Chicago PD Superintendent’s rationale – [06:51–07:36]
• Trans influencer critique & online rhetoric – [08:03–10:41]
• Public etiquette and generational trends – [15:05–19:13]
• January 6th, conspirituality, soul contracts – [20:42–31:46]
• Louis CK, cynicism about relationships – [33:00–34:51]
• CES 2026, bad robots, and technology fails – [35:00–37:40]

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Tone & Style

• Largely deadpan, sardonic, and incredulous about political absurdities.
• Comfortably pivots between alarm and irreverent humor.
• Frequent use of direct quotes, sarcasm, and comic riffs.
• Willing to digress into cultural critiques and interpersonal dynamics.

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For Listeners New to the Podcast:

This episode offers a sharp, sometimes exasperated look at the confusion and culture wars brewing between federal and local law enforcement, the role of conspiratorial thinking in public life, and the strange state of modern technology and relationships. Armstrong and Getty's chemistry remains quick, skeptical, and dryly comedic throughout.

Transcript

[Jack Armstrong]

This is an iHeart podcast.

[Joe Getty]

Guaranteed human.

[NFL Announcer]

The NFL playoffs are here, and it all starts with wild card weekend, powered by Verizon.

[Joe Getty]

Man, it all comes down to this.

[NFL Announcer]

12 teams, six games, three days, and one epic weekend.

[Joe Getty]

My goodness.

[NFL Announcer]

It's win or go home. And every moment counts on the road to Super Bowl 60. It's a touchdown wild card weekend, powered by Verizon. January 10 through 12. Visit watch.NFL.com for the full schedule.

[Joe Getty]

Broadcasting live from the Abraham Lincoln radio Studio at the George Washington Broadcast Center.

[Michael]

Jack Armstrong and Joe Getty. Armstrong and Getty. And now, here's Armstrong and Getty.

[Joe Getty]

Federal agents open fire now in Portland. We don't know the status of the victims in Portland. We're told they're a married couple who.

[Michael]

Are hospitalized and later arrested. They are live. We are calling on ICE to halt.

[Joe Getty]

All operations in Portland until a full and independent investigation can take place. Our community deserves answers. Our community deserves accountability.

[Michael]

And most of all, our community deserves peace.

[Joe Getty]

Another ICE shooting in a different town. As ICE agents just go around America shooting down apparently, apparently married couples for no good reason.

[Michael]

That's my understanding. Just sheer meanness.

[Joe Getty]

Oh, my God. The news report. Agents opened fire on a married couple. Well, here's News Nation with a layout of what actually happened yesterday afternoon in Portland.

[Michael]

Portland police say that received a call about a shooting involving federal agents Thursday afternoon. Soon after, police found a man and a woman with gunshot wounds. And DHS says that the driver attempted.

[Joe Getty]

To run over law enforcement during a targeted stop. And fearing for his life and safety.

[Michael]

The agent fired a defensive shot. They say the passenger, a Venezuelan national in the country illegally, was the target, who allegedly has ties to the gang Trende Aragua and was involved in a recent shooting in Portland. Portland's mayor says that the city is not a training ground for militarized agents.

[Joe Getty]

Now, you need to have an investigation. You need to figure out whether it was justified, blah, blah, blah, all that sort of stuff. I'm not for just going around shooting people, but if you got two people connected to one of the worst gangs in the world, that's not exactly the same as open fire on a married couple.

[Michael]

Right. And the idea that ICE must suspend all of its operations during this investigation, why would that be? Name another federal agency that ought to suspend all of its operations. If there's a single incident, that's probably fine, but we're going to look into. That's ridiculous, man. These people are like children.

[Joe Getty]

Well, just a little bit ago, the sheriff of Philadelphia said they're going to Start arresting ICE agents.

[Michael]

Let's hear a little bit of that.

[Jack Armstrong]

This should not have happened, but we're here today. Let know that law enforcement professionals, real ones, not the fake made up ice, probably Trump's new army to attack citizens of the United States.

[Joe Getty]

Wow.

[Jack Armstrong]

Did you hear what I said? Wow. No law enforcement professional wears a mask. None. None. And so we stand here today with all those who stand against the made up, fake, what you can call ICE professional law enforcement. I don't call them none of that. I call them made up fake wannabe law enforcement. Because what they do is against not only legal law, but the moral law. If any of them want to come in this city and commit a crime, you will not be able to hide. Nobody will whisk you off. You don't want this smoke because we will bring it to you.

[Michael]

That's the sheriff of Philadelphia.

[Joe Getty]

That's unbelievable. ICE agents are fake law enforcement. And we'll arrest them for enforcing. Well, for, you know, coming in here and trying to do their job enforcing federal immigration law.

[Michael]

I almost want to hear that whole thing again.

[Joe Getty]

Incredible.

[Michael]

That's the sheriff. Holy cow. We got to hear from the mayor. We've got to go to her boss.

[Jack Armstrong]

Well, listen, we've got to do this.

[Joe Getty]

Let me hear you all say E L, G, F, E S Eagles.

[Michael]

That explains a lot. That explains a lot. Wow. Wow. This whole.

[Joe Getty]

ICE stands for Immigration Customs Enforcement. We have immigration laws. And then if you break them, you have to arrest people and punish them under whatever the law is. Now if you want to get a do away with those laws, fine, let's have a vote or, you know, whatever. But the idea that those federal laws don't count, as I've been saying for a long time, what other federal. What federal laws could I decide I want to ignore in the town I live in? Like I'm very pro gun. Let's decide. We have all kinds of different rules for what, what you get to do with guns than what the federal laws are. Because I just like it better this way.

[Michael]

I feel like I'm being thieved from through taxes. So we're a no tax sanctuary city here in Joeville.

[Joe Getty]

Good one.

[Michael]

Yeah. No federal income tax sanctuary.

[Joe Getty]

And these fake treasury cops come in here, are going to be arrested trying to abduct me in a tax sanctuary city.

[Michael]

I don't even think they're real cops. They're fake cops and they don't want my smoke here in Joeville.

[Joe Getty]

How is that not the same thing?

[Michael]

That's effing insane. What we just heard.

[Joe Getty]

It really is.

[Michael]

Holy cow. This country is breaking apart.

[Jack Armstrong]

Did you hear what I said?

[Joe Getty]

I did, and I couldn't believe it.

[Michael]

Still trying to comprehend it.

[Joe Getty]

Calling ICE agents fake law enforcement, where we will arrest them.

[Michael]

Wow.

[Joe Getty]

Okay.

[Michael]

What was that thing saying, Nobody know how. Gotta go down, not go. What? There's a part right in the middle of it that was. And look, I understand she's trying to resonate with the. The. The people of the street. She's trying to sound authentic.

[Joe Getty]

Did she say, here comes the judge at one point, or did I just imagine.

[Michael]

No, she didn't. Nope, Nope. Not that I recall.

[Jack Armstrong]

She said, you don't want this smoke.

[Joe Getty]

You don't want this smoke. That's a good one.

[Michael]

Yeah, I'm gonna play that again on the now, but soon.

[Joe Getty]

On the other hand, you got Chicago PD soup. Larry Snelling said this. Clip 47, Michael. Federal agents, ICE, HSI are officers. They are agents of law enforcement.

[Jack Armstrong]

If you box them in with vehicles.

[Joe Getty]

It is reasonable for them to believe that they are being ambushed and that this could end in a deadly situation. And it's reasonable for them to use.

[Jack Armstrong]

Force based on those conditions.

[Joe Getty]

Do not box in any law enforcement officer. You are breaking the law when you do that, and you are putting yourself in danger. Oh, my God.

[Michael]

The words of that superintendent should be heard nationwide no matter what you think, no matter what you believe. He's right.

[Joe Getty]

A grown up. Yeah, we just spotted a grown up with binoculars from a distance. I think we have the. We have the North American grown up. You see? Isn't that something? You rarely see it in your book market.

[Michael]

In your book. You rarely see them.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah, you box in cops. They have every reason to think they're being ambushed and a bunch of people are about to shoot them.

[Michael]

Yeah, right, Jack. We're the Fair Hearing show, though. The we listen to both sides show. And so I think we ought to highlight clip 46, please. Michael, this is trans influencer Tess Fugo with a different point of view.

[Joe Getty]

I watched the video. The news is going to say she tried to ram them. She most certainly did not. They ran in her car holding onto their guns, and then they shot her when she tried to drive away. She wasn't trying to ram anyone. She was trying to get away from a dangerous situation, and now she's dead. If you are okay with the fact that they're gunning people down in the streets in the suburbs of Minneapolis, then you're not a freedom fighter, you're a Nazi. That person is capable of doing Anything.

[Michael]

Yes, they are absolutely true.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah, you might. Maybe that'd be a good transition to this hour, that whole conspiracy, why people go down that road, get so worked up thing.

[Michael]

Oh, yeah, because, yeah.

[Joe Getty]

We'Re in a strange place, particularly with women, whether they're trans women or actual them.

[Michael]

No, no, dude, fella is the term for what that person is.

[Joe Getty]

But man. But the, the just over the top, out of control emotions of these things is just unseen in my lifetime.

[Jack Armstrong]

And you don't want this smoke.

[Joe Getty]

How, how about, how about that difference between the sheriff of Philly and the Chicago pd? He's saying, look, you box in federal agents, they have every reason to think they're being ambushed and they're going to have to respond with force. Don't do it. You're putting your life in danger. And her saying we're. And him starting with their officers, their federal agents, they're allowed to be here. And her saying, we're going to arrest them. They're fake cops.

[Michael]

I'm going to exercise my rights, my American rights as the co host. If indeed the Philadelphia PD gets in a gunfight or the sheriff's department gets in a gunfight with ice, this is going to be the clip of the year. Play 48 again, Michael.

[Jack Armstrong]

This should not have happened. But we're here today. Let know that law enforcement professionals, real ones, not the fake, made up ice, probably Trump's new army to attack citizens of the United States.

[Michael]

Wow.

[Jack Armstrong]

Did you hear what I said?

[Joe Getty]

Yes.

[Michael]

Yeah.

[Jack Armstrong]

No law enforcement professional wears a mask.

[Joe Getty]

None.

[Jack Armstrong]

None. And so we stand here today with all those who stand against the made up, fake, what you can call ice, professional law enforcement. I don't call them none of that. I call them made up fake wannabe law enforcement. Because what they do is against not only legal law, but the moral law. If any of them want to come in this city and commit a crime, you will not be able to hide. Nobody will wish you off. You don't want this smoke because we will bring it to you.

[Joe Getty]

A major American city, somebody that high up in law enforcement telling her constituents that this is a fake army put out there by the President, who's a Nazi.

[Michael]

I mean, luckily Trump will respond by taking time for everybody to calm down and reaching out the hand of friendship and blah, blah, blah. Yeah, this could turn to some serious ass. More on that after a word from our friends at Prize picks. Oh, my gosh, the wild card playoff weekends. Yes, a lot of people love that better than anything else in the football season. And it's a Good one. To get involved with Prize Picks where fantasy sports is something you can do every week. You don't do a big draft and then the season's over. If your team sucks. No, you just pick more or less on at least two player stat projections. Go from there. It's easy.

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[Joe Getty]

I don't feel like this Philly sheriff is getting the attention that it should get. I mean, it happened this morning, but that.

[Michael]

Because the lefty media knows. Oh my God, that's a lunatic. We got. Let's soft pedal that. Let's stop.

[Jack Armstrong]

Did you hear what I said?

[Michael]

Yes.

[Joe Getty]

Trump's own private army that are fake cops are coming to town and we'll arrest them.

[Michael]

If 10 Philadelphians take that seriously, there will be an incident that is remembered for decades.

[Joe Getty]

You're right.

[Michael]

Good lord.

[Joe Getty]

Hope not. That is ugly. Okay, we got not ugly on the way.

[Michael]

Stay here, Armstrong and Getty.

[NFL Announcer]

The NFL playoffs are here and it all starts with Wild Weekend powered by Verizon.

[Joe Getty]

Man, it all comes down to this.

[NFL Announcer]

12 teams, six games, three days and one epic weekend.

[Michael]

My goodness.

[NFL Announcer]

It's win or go home and every moment counts on the road to Super Bowl 60. It's a touchdown wild card weekend powered by Verizon. January 10th through 12th. Visit watch.NFL.com for the full schedule.

[Michael]

A couple of follow ups on the last segment where the Minnesota sheriff is declared war more or less on ice and brought on a new shooting war between federal and local authorities. From her own website. There's a cop and a mask doing their job in Philadelphia from her own website. Secondly, if the American media were to have reported the end of World War II. The American forces surrounded the home of the Vegetarian Austrian artist and his newlywed bride and so terrorized them that they were forced to commit suicide.

[Joe Getty]

Oh, is that good.

[Michael]

Co writing credit to you, Mike? The attorney in Chicago.

[Joe Getty]

Vegetarian artist and his newlywed bride.

[Michael]

Yeah, they were forced to commit suicide.

[Joe Getty]

That is fantastic.

[Michael]

If abc, NBC, CBS News had reported Hitler's end.

[Joe Getty]

So I just came across a story in the New York Post and they're very New York centric and it's about something that happened at a Broadway play that doesn't matter to any of us. But it was a couple of women were being really loud during a play and apparently the crowd turned on them and somebody yelled at them and it became a thing. And it just reminded me of a couple experiences I had over the last several weeks where we went to various shows. It also kind of happened at the World War II Museum where people are talking really loud when there's some sort of performance going on, whether it's a film or a musical performance or whatever. What is it with you people? Jeez, I don't. Why are you. I always. What I always wondered. I want to say out loud. I should say out loud. I have yelled at people before who were loud in concerts. I have done it. But I want to say why are you here? And go tap them on the show and say, I got a question for you. Why are you here? You're not paying any attention to the music. You're really loud, having a conversation. You clearly want to talk to each other. Why don't you go somewhere else where you could have an easier conversation than with a loud band blow blaring in your ear? And by the way, something. The rest of us paid money specifically to hear this, not you, you jackasses.

[Michael]

Right? Yeah, I agree 100%. I've seen it many times myself. I think part of it has to do with the whole lifestyle of you. You're never paying attention to anything entirely. You're always having a two screen experience. Sat down with at least one of my offspring. We decide we're going to watch something, a movie, for instance. We sit down, they're flipping through the phone.

[Joe Getty]

I'm like, I thought we were going.

[Michael]

To watch the movie. I am. So you're, you're there at the, the World War II Museum or the, the concert or the movie or whatever. You're also doing something else. Yeah, maybe a conversation. Maybe doom scrolling. Whatever. I don't, I don't get it. It's a good way to coast through your life and never experience anything worth experiencing, but teach their own The Other.

[Joe Getty]

Thing I don't get, and this is a museum thing I've complained about before. Why are you taking your young kids there? They're bored to death. You're annoyed, they're miserable. What are you trying to accomplish there? God, the number of parents that I saw, they got like 4 year olds, 5 year olds are running around and, you know, while people are like reading about the Holocaust or whatever, or they're, you know, the dads.

[Michael]

Come on. Paying attention. Be quiet.

[Joe Getty]

You don't want to be quiet because he's a five year old boy who doesn't understand what any of this stuff is or care. Why'd you bring him now? Or, you know, get a sitter and come on your own if you want to see it. But he's not enjoying it. I need to say he doesn't even know they're there. I don't know why you're there with the baby. The baby has no idea they're even at the museum. They're just crying really loudly because I.

[Michael]

Want to go and I have a baby, but I need to talk to an electrician. Maybe my. My old buddy Rich the electrician. I need to know the exact amount of voltage that I can like use in a little cattle prod at museums. You know, get people's attention but not hurt them. People who specifically lean over like the plaque everyone wants to read. Oh, I want to hit them with just enough voltage to maybe buckle their knees and get them out of the way. Because if you do that, I hate you. Well, I hate you to the depths of my soul.

[Joe Getty]

The other one that's even worse because this actually does some damage. We went to the big aquarium there in New Orleans, which is really amazing. And the kids running around and pounding on the glass with all the giant signs that say, don't hit on the glass because it bothers the octopus or the fish or whatever. Climbing up on this and throwing things, everything like that was driving my son crazy. I said, I know I've had to try to get used to it over the years. Just like, what's with the parents? How do you not. How do you let your kids do that?

[Michael]

Well, they suck and their kids suck. Suck is genetic. That scientists prove that. Here's my new thing is passed down through the jeans.

[Joe Getty]

I explained this to my son. This is how I've gotten through it recently. I realized this was going on before I got here. It'll be going on after I leave. It'll be going on tomorrow and all year long when I'm not there. It's always going on at Joe's Aquarium.

[Michael]

We're going to have security and they're going to know their jobs.

[Joe Getty]

I love it.

[Michael]

Still working on getting Fish Armstrong and Gettysburg.

[NFL Announcer]

The NFL playoffs are here and it all starts with wild card weekend powered by Verizon.

[Joe Getty]

Man, it all comes down to this.

[NFL Announcer]

12 teams, six games, three days and one epic weekend.

[Michael]

My goodness.

[NFL Announcer]

It's win or go home and every moment counts on the road to Super Bowl 60. It's a touchdown wild card weekend powered by Verizon. January 10th 12th. Visit watch.NFL.com for the full schedule.

[Michael]

Three receivers.

[Joe Getty]

Punch to the left. Beck is looking that way. And still looking, still looking. Takes off running.

[Michael]

Carson Beck with his legs puts Miami on top. What a drive.

[Joe Getty]

So I watched when Miami beat Ohio State that game while we were on vacation. They're pretty impressed. They were the number 10 seed. Miami. Now they're going to be in the championship. So. Yeah, that's why they play the games.

[Michael]

That's why they played. Oh, you said that. You're absolutely right.

[Joe Getty]

So someone against the winner of Indiana Oregon tonight.

[Michael]

Yeah. Which ought to be a great game. A couple of high powered offenses, blah, blah, blah. Anyway, so a couple of news items for you and then a more cerebral discussion as we all, we're just trying to figure out the modern world. It keeps changing too fast.

[Joe Getty]

Ain't no figuring it out.

[Michael]

Yeah, probably right, Clem. Anyway, here's a headline for you. The Buffalo helmet guy, the QAnon Shaman has turned against Donald Trump and says he's running for the governor of Arizona.

[Joe Getty]

All right. Did he go to jail? Did Buffalo helmet guy go to jail or not?

[Michael]

He actually had the toughest sentence handed out on the riot prosecutions, which to me is absolutely ridiculous.

[Joe Getty]

Ridiculous because of his headwear.

[Michael]

Yeah, yeah.

[Joe Getty]

I don't.

[Michael]

Well, the prosecutors called him the public face of the Capitol riot. It's got nothing to do with the criminal code. And I hated January 6th, what happened then. I hated the over prosecution of a lot of people who just wandered through open doors when they were open. I've walked through the United States Capitol many, many times and nobody arrested me. You know, it's just, it was just ugly on all sides. Anyway, don't want to get hung up on that. He's off at Trump cuz Trump is in the, the thrall of the Jews in Israel and he's abandoned America and isn't good enough on the Jeffrey Epstein stuff. So old Buffalo Head, it's about the Jews and Epstein. Ah, right. Moving along thought this was really, really interesting writer by the name of Claire Lehman who's writing about the Women of January 6th. It's a new book and it's about two gals in particular who were participants in the riot and one of them was sentenced to two and a half years. Another person convicted and sentenced I don't know how long and I don't actually know what specifically they did at January 6, which is not the point.

[Joe Getty]

Anyway, I got a friend of the family, you probably remember this if you're listening time. Friend of the family that was walked into the capitol that day. She was in Washington D.C. and she walked in and she got charged with some sort of misdemeanor something or other. But she's a full on qanon person.

[Michael]

Interesting. So in this book. Well, so the article starts with the description of this woman who is more or less a cult leader. Galactic beings would come for their bodies, blah blah blah. She was one of many online influencers who specialized in spiritual themes and conspiracy theories. A crossover that that has come to be known as conspirituality.

[Joe Getty]

Okay, I don't know about this.

[Michael]

It's handy because it actually works as a portmanteau, I believe is the term for two words put together into one. In the new book the Conspiracists, the California researcher Noel Cook takes us into the murky depths of conspirituality and shows how these beliefs hijack people's lives. And she focuses on these two gals, Yvonne and Tammy. Yvonne was actually following the new age glitter space aliens chick who died. Excuse me? Oh my allergies. Oh, and was following this, this, this crazy woman who died. And they left her body laying around forever waiting for the galactic beings to come and collect her. She was covered in glitter and she died. Her skin was blue from ingesting large quantities of colloidal silver, which she thought was a remedy for all ailments.

[Joe Getty]

Okay. Anyway, turned out it wasn't.

[Michael]

It turns out it wasn't. And the galactic beings never showed up. Maybe they got bad directions. Anyway, so the gal who, who believed in all this turned to like Qanoni stuff and ended up at January 6th and all. And this other gal is also highlighting, as I mentioned. The result is a highly readable case study of female vulnerability in middle age and how easily that vulnerability can be captured by online cults. Along with their conspiritual beliefs, Yvonne and Tammy shared a number of similarities. Both are women in their 50s. Their histories are marked by significant trauma, including molestation or rape. As children and abuse in intimate relationships when they were adults. Cook, the author, describes their conspiratorial beliefs as an elaborate coping mechanism. It is easier to endure despair when one can enter a fantasy world online, particularly one that casts the believer as an active participant in the eternal struggle between light and dark. In this sense, conspirituality offers meaning, community, and purpose.

[Joe Getty]

Wow.

[Michael]

I thought that was a wow moment too. And what is striking about the portrait.

[Joe Getty]

What I like about that is that helps explain to those of us who don't have trauma in our backgrounds or whatever. It might help explain why we're not looking for a I don't need a worldview that makes me feel comfortable or fixes my life because I don't have that sort of traumatic background, trying to make sense of everything or whatever. So, you know, so I don't feel susceptible to that sort of thing. And so I can't understand how other people are. But that explains how they are. So okay, yeah.

[Michael]

And I've got to admit, it was fairly late in life that I was introduced to the concept that people who have endured various traumas will sometimes do things that seem counterintuitive. It's to regain a sense of control. I've actually dealt with that a little bit with my kid, who is autistic and has a couple of other issues, partly because it was so hard growing up like that that having the sense of control of I'm running this, even if it's being running poorly is. Is being run poorly is. It's very, very important.

[Joe Getty]

Yes, I'm familiar with that concept.

[Michael]

Yeah, that is something. So here's a little more, though. What's striking about Cook's portrait of Yvonne and Tammy is how little conventional politics actually colors their views. Despite having stormed The Capitol on January 6, both women appear relatively uninterested in politics. Outside of sharing memes about Democrats, their primary commitments are spiritual rather than ideological. Donald Trump functions less as a political leader than as a deity within a broader New Age cosmology. That's troubling. And one is one is left with the impression that neither woman would have been particularly interested in politics at all had online communities not adopted Trump as a symbolic figure. And this is one thing. It's funny, I mentioned earlier in the show that I actually answered the Emerson College poll yesterday. It was pretty interesting. They asked a bunch of different questions. The sort that you generally see in the newspapers is a recent poll says.

[Joe Getty]

How did they contact you?

[Michael]

Text.

[Joe Getty]

They texted you and said, hey, we're Emerson. Would you like to be pulled.

[Michael]

Yeah. Would you be willing to participate?

[Joe Getty]

And you believed they weren't fraudsters trying to get your oh yeah, it was.

[Michael]

Pretty clear they weren't. And I've actually done it a couple of times. I'm not sure if it was the Emerson poll, but I've answered a handful of polls and it's funny, one of the questions was do you consider yourself very conservative, somewhat conservative, blah blah blah, somewhat liberal, or very liberal? And I answered very conservative because I am in the classical sense. But these days, very trumpy is often called very conservative.

[Joe Getty]

Absolutely.

[Michael]

Which is interesting. Oh, the reason I launched into that screed was this. The next couple of sentences. Despite being described as right wing, their beliefs are not conservative in any meaningful sense. Yvonne and Tammy do not adhere to traditional religion, nor do they conserve families, homes or institutions. They are instead immersed in a belief system populated by starseeds, ascension into 5D, the divine feminine soul contracts, and other New Age concepts. Such ideas gained popularity in the 20th century alongside feminism, environmentalism, and alternative medicine movements that have never been associated with the right. But in 2020, a cultural shift took place. The pandemic ultimately served as a super spreader of conspiracy theories. Reflecting on the Conscious Life Expo, a New Age conference she attends in 2023.

[Joe Getty]

I've been to an RV expo. I haven't been to one of these.

[Michael]

The Conscious Life Expo. I'd actually like to go to it. She the author observes that a program once dedicated to nutrition and environmentalism was now domina, dominated by anti vaccine and anti government activism. Covid drove both men and women to conspiracism. Men were more likely than women to see Covid as a Chinese bioweapon, a byproduct of 5G technology, or a hoax cooked up to make Donald Trump look bad. While women were more interested in conspiracy theories involving children.

[Joe Getty]

Let me jump in on a term you used that got my attention and so I just asked Chatgpt about it.

[Michael]

Okay.

[Joe Getty]

Soul contracts. Yes, it's believed to be an agreement made before birth between souls, laying out certain experiences, relationships, or challenges that will happen during a lifetime. People who believe in soul contracts usually mean certain people were meant to meet partners, parents, rivals, teachers, whatever that was predestined. Doesn't sound like a lot different than some, like pretty mainstream religious beliefs.

[Michael]

So when I sold my soul to Satan at the crossroads at midnight to make me a mediocre guitar player, that was not a soul contract I should ask for. Great guitar player just didn't occur to me at the time.

[Joe Getty]

Repeating life patterns are pre planned lessons as part of your soul contract. So if you keep doing stupid things over and over again, you can't help it. You got you signed the soul contract. You should ask a lawyer. That's interesting. I'd never heard that term before. Yeah, it's part of New age spirituality.

[Michael]

Yeah, people are searching, Chad.

[Joe Getty]

GBT actually says at the end of this, there's no evidence these contracts actually exist.

[Michael]

Oh, thank you.

[Joe Getty]

That's funny.

[Michael]

And then this will sound familiar to anybody whose friends, loved ones, et cetera, or maybe you yourself have gotten caught up in this. Much like the drugs that induce psychosis, conspirituality itself also functions like an addictive substance. When under its spell, the capacity to enjoy ordinary life gradually narrows. Relationships with people who are not users or followers fray, and the world outside the obsession loses its pull. People addicted to online worlds, whether video games, online activism, or elaborate fantasy belief systems, often experience the same contraction of life, retreating into spaces that promise meaning and transcendence while quietly turning away from everything else. Oof.

[Joe Getty]

So these troubled people turning to these conspiracy things to make them feel conspirituality, make a sense of all that. When traditional religion was bigger, would that have been the solve for this? Probably.

[Michael]

I think for some. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Which is not an indictment of religion per se.

[Joe Getty]

It wasn't meant to be. Oh, no, I wasn't using it that way at all.

[Michael]

No, no.

[Joe Getty]

But if for whatever reason you're convinced by society that that's dumb, you go with this.

[Michael]

Wow. There's some really troubling stuff in this, but I think it's been troubling enough.

[Joe Getty]

I need to find it out on my soul contract. It's got to be a loophole.

[Michael]

Surely. Just, I don't know, can I, like, buy my way out of it? My soulmate's a pain in the ass. I shouldn't have signed the contract. Should have gotten a lawyer.

[Joe Getty]

That reminds me of something I saw Louis CK Say yesterday about relationships. I'll share that when we come back. I thought that was interesting. And I wonder how many people feel that way. I hope not very many. Among other things we'll talk about on the way. Stay here.

[Michael]

Armstrong and Getty.

[NFL Announcer]

The NFL playoffs are here. And it all starts with Wild Card weekend. Powered by Verizon.

[Joe Getty]

Man, it all comes down to this.

[NFL Announcer]

12 teams, six games, three days, and one epic weekend.

[Michael]

My goodness.

[NFL Announcer]

It's win or go home. And every moment counts. On the road. Road to Super Bowl 60.

[Joe Getty]

It's a touchdown.

[NFL Announcer]

Wild Card weekend. Powered by Verizon. January 10th through 12th. Visit watch.NFL.com for the full schedule.

[Joe Getty]

I was just reading through New York Times review of the Consumer Electronics Show. I want to talk about a little bit of that. It's the most interesting review I've read so far. But this just came up in conversation. I was watching a Louis CK Special. The comedian who. I find him absolutely hilarious. I think he's really brilliant at that craft. But some of his opinions, culturally and politically, I hate so much. I have to overlook those.

[Michael]

It's one of his habits with coworkers too.

[Joe Getty]

But, man, he bounced back from that fine. Took a while. Took a couple of years. But the fact that he would ask co workers, you mind if I masturbate in front of you? And they'd say, well, you're my boss, so I guess so. And then he would. He would do it anyway. He's bounced back and. But he had this routine about, I.

[Michael]

Do mind, just in case anybody's thinking of asking around here, I mind a.

[Joe Getty]

Great deal back to you about being divorced and that sort of thing. And he said, there are two stages. There are only two stages. You're either single or you're in a s. Relationship. I'll say crap relationship. Said, those are the only two things that exist, and we all know it. You're either single or you're in a crap relationship. Oh, I know some of you. And they're in love. Just wait, you're in love now it'll turn into a crap relationship. They all do. That's part of the cycle. So you're either single or you're in a crap relationship. And I thought, what an incredibly. Well, wrong, but just negative, sad. Yeah, that's exactly what I thought. I said.

[Michael]

Well, that's.

[Joe Getty]

I thought that just said you're like your mid-50s and you actually believe that. And that's what your. Your kids are hearing. Wow, that's horrifying. How many people believe that in the crowd is laughing. And I thought, I hope you all don't actually believe this. That's horrible.

[Michael]

Maybe they're just laughing at how shocking it is for him to say that.

[Joe Getty]

Maybe. I don't know. The Consumer Electronics show first, this from the New York Times, which I thought actually had a.

[Michael]

A friend say that once, essentially. And I know his wife. And I was like, oh, right. Yeah. And he's like, yeah, I'm not kidding. Oof.

[Joe Getty]

So he actually is in a crap relationship.

[Michael]

I don't know. But that. He thinks that's the. Yeah, well, some people get specific. But he saw the beginning of a relationship and said, you're doomed. I'm like, wow.

[Joe Getty]

That'S rough.

[Michael]

Yeah, it's rough.

[Joe Getty]

So the Consumer Electronics show is going on in Las Vegas, and people bring out their new products and they're usually like, oftentimes like the very, very earliest iteration that nobody's even really gonna buy. It's kind of just introducing the concept to the world, and then maybe five years later, everybody will be using them. But 2026, according to the New York Times, was the year of the bad robot at the Consumer Electronics Show. All kinds of bad robots not quite doing what they claimed they were going to be able to do.

[Michael]

I was gonna say, look, I bought a robot massage therapist. It broke five of my ribs. The one that was sticking out of my skin was the one that really bothered me. But they'll work on it, you know, beta testing.

[Joe Getty]

Tried to give you a happy ending and he yanked it right off.

[Michael]

Oh, boy. Thanks, Louis ck. You had to go there.

[Joe Getty]

The bad robot, or at least the very clunky one, is brands including Switchbot, lg, Sharpa, Unitree showed off robotic machines that could fold laundry clumsily, deal cards slowly play table tennis inexplicably, and do mixed martial arts weirdly. Well that finally I don't have to.

[Michael]

Play table tennis for myself. I can have my robot do it for me, right?

[Joe Getty]

What?

[Michael]

It can be your companion.

[Joe Getty]

But yeah, I don't care what the price is. I'll take two. Have you seen the mixed martial arts one, though? I just saw a clip of Colbert making fun of it last night. This guy is dancing and they're doing mixed martial arts. Just like the exercises, not fighting each other. Kick, swing, kick, whatever. And they turn. The robot turns and kicks the guy right in the junk. It's unbelievable that it wasn't on purpose, but it certainly doesn't seem like it was on purpose.

[Michael]

Oh, bad robot, bad robot.

[Joe Getty]

Go to your charging station. Or something like that. But in our four, which if you don't get, get the podcast Armstrong and Getty on Demand and hour four, I'll get to the New York Times stuff that they thought actually was good and worth taking a look at and maybe you'll buy this year and a couple of them I think I'm definitely going to look into. So the year of the bad robot, we're just not quite there yet.

[Michael]

My ribs, my ribs.

[Joe Getty]

And we want to a table tennis partner.

[Michael]

And yeah, I'm. When I'm through scrolling through the Internet because I don't have any real human interactions. I'll play table tennis with my robot. Oof. And we'll meet the lifelong farmer who's running for the Senate in Arkansas. Haley's never cared about anything but farming. At least that's the image they're trying to sell. Okay, the truth about Haley the farmer. Pretty freaking hilarious.

[Joe Getty]

We got the end of the year lists that we never got to at the end of the year. Yes, that. We're going to get to an hour four today. So, Ben, it's a huge hour four. If you don't get to get the podcast Armstrong and Getty on Demand, you should subscribe. Then you'll just get it every day automatically. That's the way to do it.

[Michael]

Armstrong and Getty.

[NFL Announcer]

The NFL playoffs are here, and it all starts with Wild Card weekend powered by Verizon.

[Joe Getty]

Man, it all comes down to this.

[NFL Announcer]

12 teams, six games, three days, and one epic weekend. My goodness, it's win or go home. And every moment counts. On the road to Super Bowl 60. It's a touchdown wild card weekend powered by Verizon. 1-10-12. Visit watch.NFL.com for the full schedule.

[Jack Armstrong]

This is an iHeart podcast.

[Joe Getty]

Guaranteed Human.