It's Like Buying Goodwill From An Alligator

Summary

Armstrong & Getty On Demand: "It's Like Buying Goodwill From An Alligator" Summary

Episode Release Date: February 12, 2025

Introduction

In the episode titled "It's Like Buying Goodwill From An Alligator," hosts Jack Armstrong and Joe Getty delve into a range of pressing issues, blending humor with critical analysis. From government inefficiencies to international diplomacy and societal quirks, Armstrong and Getty provide listeners with insightful commentary peppered with memorable quotes and offbeat humor.

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1. Valentine's Day Promotions and Personal Anecdotes ([02:32] - [03:35])

The episode kicks off with Armstrong and Getty discussing Valentine's Day promotions, specifically Subway's "Buy One Get One Free" offer:

• Jack Armstrong [02:57]: "What better way to say I love you than I got this for free at Subway, right?"

• Joe Getty [03:08]: "Valentine's Day is on a Friday this year... something. Nah, not this time."

This light-hearted segment transitions into a deeper conversation about societal behaviors and personal habits, setting the tone for the episode's blend of humor and critique.

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2. Elon Musk's Critique of Federal Retirement Processes ([03:35] - [07:04])

A significant portion of the discussion centers around an anecdote shared by Elon Musk regarding the inefficiencies within the federal retirement system:

• Elon Musk [04:05]: "The most number of people that could retire possibly in a month is 10,000... because all the retirement paperwork is manual on paper."

• Joe Getty [05:26]: "About 700 workers operate more than 230ft underground to process a maximum of 10,000 federal retirement applications per month, all processed by hand using paper and stored in manila envelopes and cardboard boxes."

Armstrong and Getty criticize the government's reliance on outdated, manual processes, highlighting the absurdity of storing critical retirement documents in a limestone mine:

• Jack Armstrong [06:06]: "Why does it have to be down in a mine?"

• Joe Getty [07:04]: "We taxpayers have spent $130 million trying to get away from paper and manila envelopes in boxes down in a mine, unsuccessfully."

They emphasize the bureaucratic inertia that hampers modernization efforts, suggesting that the system’s inefficiency is maintained to preserve jobs rather than improve service delivery.

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3. Union Songs and Political Messaging ([09:08] - [14:11])

The conversation shifts to the use of union songs in political contexts:

• Jack Armstrong [10:58]: "They're trying to make reducing government waste the civil rights issue of our time."

The hosts critique the superficial adoption of civil rights rhetoric to mask underlying motives, such as protecting bureaucratic jobs:

• Joe Getty [12:41]: "That song was to make sure that you keep having people fill out by hand, paperwork and store it in a box underground."

Armstrong and Getty express frustration with the politicization of genuine social movements, arguing that it diverts attention from pragmatic governance issues.

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4. International Diplomacy: US, Ukraine, and Russia ([17:23] - [34:17])

A substantial segment of the episode is dedicated to the geopolitical tensions between the US, Ukraine, and Russia. Armstrong and Getty analyze recent statements and actions by key figures:

• Joe Getty [17:23]: "SecDef said... it is unrealistic for Ukraine to go back to its pre-war borders... we are not supporting Ukraine being a member of NATO anytime soon."

• Jack Armstrong [29:32]: "It's like trying to buy goodwill from an alligator."

The hosts critique President Trump's unconventional approach to negotiations with President Putin, expressing skepticism about the feasibility of ending the war in Ukraine through diplomatic channels:

• Joe Getty [30:26]: "He's an evil, child-murdering monster... He will react in his best interest, whether from what he gets or what the pain he's going to avoid."

Armstrong and Getty lament the loss of lives due to the ongoing conflict, questioning the effectiveness of previous administrations' strategies and the current leadership's tactics:

• Jack Armstrong [33:21]: "Joe Biden was a horrible, horrible president."

The discussion underscores the complexities of international relations and the dire human costs associated with prolonged conflicts.

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5. Communication Techniques and Social Interactions ([19:18] - [22:47])

Armstrong and Getty segue into the realm of personal communication strategies, referencing a Wall Street Journal article about effective name repetition:

• Joe Getty [21:16]: "You do it twice."

• Jack Armstrong [22:18]: "I have many questions."

The hosts humorously explore the balance between effective communication and perceived creepiness, sharing personal anecdotes about interacting with servers and strangers:

• Joe Getty [21:43]: "I've started referring to servers by their names... my kids really hate it."

This segment blends practical advice with comedic observations, highlighting the nuances of social interactions.

---

6. Mark Fogel’s Exoneration and Trump's Negotiations with Putin ([25:23] - [34:25])

A poignant moment in the episode is the discussion of Mark Fogel, a teacher who was accused and incarcerated in Russia under dubious circumstances:

• Mark Fogel [26:49]: "This super organism of people that came to my support... sustained me for three and a half years in a prison."

• Joe Getty [28:05]: "400 injections of what?"

The hosts express concern over the transparency and ethics of international detentions, questioning the nature of Fogel’s treatment and the rationale behind his release:

• Jack Armstrong [32:09]: "In any negotiation, there's probably a little bit around the margins... But it's just the way Trump does business."

They critique the transactional nature of high-stakes negotiations, especially when it involves releasing individuals from foreign custody.

---

7. Israel-Hamas Conflict Commentary ([34:27] - [37:10])

Armstrong and Getty briefly touch upon the Israel-Hamas conflict, questioning the viability of proposed solutions:

• Joe Getty [35:15]: "I'm sure that's true... [about the futility of a two-state solution]."

• Jack Armstrong [36:23]: "What happens in that weird world you live in. That's not planet Earth."

The hosts assert that historical precedents show the improbability of peaceful coexistence following unprovoked aggression, emphasizing the complexities in resolving such deep-seated conflicts.

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8. Final Thoughts and Humorous Banter ([43:35] - [45:46])

The episode concludes with Armstrong and Getty sharing final thoughts, interspersed with humorous exchanges:

• Joe Getty [44:08]: "I love some of these examples that Elon's bringing out, but it's going to be hard to top the paper manila envelope down in the mine retirement process."

• Jack Armstrong [44:37]: "For some, it's just like the screeching young liberal women all could be the same person."

This segment serves as a light-hearted wrap-up, reinforcing the hosts' camaraderie and penchant for satire.

---

Key Takeaways

• Government Inefficiency: The episode highlights severe inefficiencies within federal systems, using the retirement paperwork anecdote as a case study of bureaucratic stagnation.

• International Relations: Armstrong and Getty critically examine the US's handling of the Ukraine-Russia conflict, expressing skepticism about current diplomatic strategies and leadership decisions.

• Social Commentary: Through humor and personal stories, the hosts explore societal norms, communication strategies, and the politicization of genuine social movements.

• Human Cost of Conflict: Emphasizing the tragic loss of life in international conflicts, the hosts call for more effective and humane approaches to diplomacy and conflict resolution.

---

Notable Quotes:

• Elon Musk on Federal Inefficiency [04:05]: "The retirement paperwork is manual on paper. It's manually calculated, then written down on a piece of paper."

• Joe Getty on Union Songs [10:50]: "They're trying to make reducing government waste the civil rights issue of our time."

• Mark Fogel on Prison Support [26:49]: "The love that I was given sustained me for three and a half years in a prison."

• Jack Armstrong on Negotiations [29:32]: "It's like trying to buy goodwill from an alligator."

---

Conclusion

In "It's Like Buying Goodwill From An Alligator," Armstrong and Getty provide a sharp, humorous critique of governmental inefficiencies, international diplomacy mishaps, and societal quirks. Through engaging dialogue and insightful commentary, the episode encourages listeners to reflect on the systemic issues plaguing both domestic and global arenas, all while maintaining the hosts' signature wit and banter.

Transcript

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[Joe Getty]

Broadcasting live from.

[Jack Armstrong]

The Abraham Lincoln Radio Studio at the George Washington Broadcast Center, Jack Armstrong and.

[Joe Getty]

Joe Getty, Armstrong and Getty and now.

[Jack Armstrong]

Here'S Armstrong and get.

[Joe Getty]

In honor of.

[Jack Armstrong]

Valentine's Day, Subway is offering Buy one Get one Free sub. What better way to say I love you than I got this for free at Subway, right?

[Joe Getty]

That's a decent point. Valentine Day is on a Friday this year, so I don't know I don't know how to finish that. Does that mean anything?

[Jack Armstrong]

Well, if you were thinking of going out for dinner or drinks or whatever on Friday, because that's what you do, think again.

[Joe Getty]

That's a better point. If you're not a Valentine's Day person, but just usually you go out to dinner on Friday, something. Nah, not this time.

[Jack Armstrong]

Right.

[Joe Getty]

I wouldn't. I wouldn't. Wouldn't try. I. I'm tempted to tell this story myself, but Elon told the story in the Oval Office yesterday, so we'll play him. I find his speaking. I don't know if it's because of his Asperger's or whatever, so kind of, I don't know, I find it a little difficult to follow sometimes his halting manner. But this is an amazing story about how off track the government bureaucracy can get in its effectiveness. And. Well, I'll let him tell it and fill in any gaps.

[Elon Musk]

And then we were told. This is actually, I think, a great anecdote because we're told that the most number of people that could retire possibly in a month is 10,000. We're like, Whoa. Why is that? Well, because all the retirement paperwork is manual on paper. It's manually calculated, then written down on a piece of paper. Then it goes down a mine. And, like. What do you mean, a mine? Like, yeah, there's a limestone mine where we store all the retirement paperwork. And you look at a picture of this mine, we'll post some pictures afterwards. And this mine looks like something out of the 50s because it was started in 1955. It looks like it's like a time warp. And then the speed, the limiting factor is the speed at which the mine shaft elevator can move determines how many people can retire from the federal.

[Jack Armstrong]

Federal government.

[Elon Musk]

And the elevator breaks down sometimes, and then you can't. Nobody can retire. Doesn't that sound crazy? There's like a thousand people that work on this. So I think if we take those people and say, like, you know what? Instead of working in a mineshaft carrying manila envelopes to, you know, boxes in a mine shaft, you could do practically anything else and you would add to the goods and services of the United States in a more useful way.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah, I'm looking at.

[Jack Armstrong]

He's an unelected oligarch.

[Joe Getty]

I'm looking at the pictures of the mine and the boxes, the manila envelopes, because that's how they process retirement in the federal government in the year 2025. I mean, it's really quite hilarious. About 700 workers operate more than 230ft underground to process a maximum of 10,000 federal retirement applications per month, all processed by hand using paper and stored in manila envelopes and cardboard boxes.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah, I saw the pictures too. And the fact that it's a file cabinet thing is amazing enough. But why is it got to be down in a mine?

[Joe Getty]

I guess to keep what you know, the same reason they store old films and stuff like that down in mines. You can get the right humidity and all these different sorts of things, but for so things don't decay, but you don't need to do that anymore. I mean, I don't know if you're familiar with the whole computerized record keeping.

[Jack Armstrong]

Thing or even air conditioners.

[Joe Getty]

Apparently this has been known for quite some time. The Washington Post described the facility as a sinkhole of bureaucracy way back in 2014.

[Jack Armstrong]

At the time, probably defending it as a critical institution that Elon Musk must not assault.

[Joe Getty]

Probably at the time, and this is 11 years ago, the report said the total spending on the retirement system per year was $56 million. Multiple attempts to digitize the system had been made since the 80s. According to the report, each attempt largely failed and was eventually scrapped. With the reported cost totaling over $130 million. They spent.

[Jack Armstrong]

We.

[Joe Getty]

We taxpayers have spent $130 million trying to get away from paper and manila envelopes in boxes down in a mine, unsuccessfully. As Musk said, it was started in 55. 1955. Looks like a time warp. It really does it? Well, it looks like you're. This picture must be from when my dad was in high school. The limiting factor being the mine shaft elevator, as he said. My favorite part was him saying this could be remedied with practically anything else. That's a funny thing to say this week we could make this better by doing practically anything else.

[Jack Armstrong]

And it's worth referring back to the New York Times headline appearing with Trump Musk makes broad claims of federal fraud without proof, says there's waste and fraud across the bureaucracy without offering evidence. What the hell? No, Ev. I don't even know what to think. I loved his line about. And I guess if the elevator breaks, no one can retire. Yes, Michael, this is the stupidest thing I've ever heard. I know, I know.

[Joe Getty]

And what, what should be most striking is there have been multiple attempts to improve it at a cost of $130 million. And they. And you couldn't because the bureaucracy is so thick and layered and people. I got. I got to believe it's got a lot to do with. Well, if we computerized it, we wouldn't need 700 employees. We probably need like six, maybe one. And the, the. The inertia to keep all those people employed. It reminds me of the whole dock worker thing that we mocked because the dock worker unions are so powerful. They want to keep having a guy with a clipboard and a pen read the license plate of the car rather than have a computer scan it and do it because you got another employee.

[Jack Armstrong]

And more union dues. Right?

[Joe Getty]

Well, that's that thing and needs to get worked out. But with my tax money down there with the retirement records, that's insane.

[Jack Armstrong]

You remember one of the more stupid and discouraging moments in American politics was when Mitt Romney referred to the creative destruction of capitalism, meaning, you know, as things become useless or less useful or a better product comes along or whatever, the old thing goes away. And that's not a bad thing, that's a wonderful thing. But with government, it's the equivalent of we're still ordering our household goods from the Sears Roebuck catalog and waiting six to eight weeks for delivery because, well, think about all the people who print the catalog and work at the warehouse and all those. Well, you know, the chanting. We should play some more of the chanting and then the swearing and stuff like that.

[Joe Getty]

And Sears would go away because everybody would use Amazon. No, we can't have Sears go away. So we're gonna fund it somehow to keep it around, even though there's a much better way to do it.

[Jack Armstrong]

And so you have the equivalent to continue, you know, going back and forth between the metaphor and the reality of Chuck Schumer being bellowing in the streets that we are gonna fight Elon Musk trying to take away our catalog at our six to eight week deliveries. We're gonna fight them in the streets. Who's with me? And what was the other clip we played where they're trying this? Oh, it's that idiotic song in which they're trying to make reducing government waste the civil rights issue of our time. Michael, play us the idiotic song, would you? Clip number two.

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Which side are you on?

[Jack Armstrong]

This is so horrible. I apologize for playing it.

[Lenovo Ad]

Which side are you on?

[Jack Armstrong]

Wait till they kick in the verses.

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Which side are you on? We'll fight against Josh. We'll fight Elon Musk. No else Gap within our walls. We'll fight from dawn to dusk oh, which side are you? Which side are you on? Which side are you on? Which side are you on? Trust coming for our unions. He wants us all to fail. He Wants us to bow to him, but we want him in jail. Which side are you all?

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah, the other one. Thank you for asking. The other one.

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I mean, like body and soul, on which side are you on? They stay in the capital city. There are no neutrals found. You're either with the union or scabby musk bloodhound.

[Joe Getty]

Oh, wow. You're either with the union or a scabby musk blood hound.

[Jack Armstrong]

You know, sometimes you get done with a song and you realize that line is as bad. I gotta recut that. And I suggest you do. Oh, stop it. Make it end, Michael. That said, the all the other verses were plenty.

[Joe Getty]

I'm on the side that doesn't think we should have the retirement system done by hand, on paper, in manila envelopes, down in a mine anymore. That's insane.

[Jack Armstrong]

And the whole pathetic effort to get some sort of union song to catch on. Right in 2025, if you know the history of that sort of thing.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah. That song was not to make sure kids could go to school or black people could vote in Selma, Alabama, or whatever. That song was to make sure that you keep having people fill out by hand, paperwork and store it in a box underground.

[Jack Armstrong]

Well, and as funny as that was because it was such a steaming pile, it's highly annoying because it tries to put on the clothes of, as Jack pointed out, the civil rights movement, which was a righteous cause. Indeed. Indeed. Or, you know, a miners union singing a song so everybody didn't die of black lung at age 41. You know, that sort of union movement. But they're putting on the clothes of that stuff in the name of preserving the pay of bureaucrats who don't do anything as our country goes broke. Which side are you on? Yeah. Yeah. I got an answer for you.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah. You're not Pete Seeger or Woody Guthrie if you're trying to argue that we need to have trans operas in Ireland paid for by the taxpayer.

[Jack Armstrong]

You know, if the Irish want a good trans opera, and who among us doesn't enjoy a good trans opera? The Irish need to pay for it with their own doubloons or pounds or whatever. Shamrocks or whatever currency they use.

[Joe Getty]

Yes. More on the way.

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Which side are you on? Which side are you on?

[Jack Armstrong]

Armstrong and Getty.

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[Joe Getty]

Glow, Pete Hegseth SecDef said a couple interesting things today. He's in Brussels, I believe he said it is unrealistic for Ukraine to get to go back to its pre war borders, which is true. And that we are not supporting Ukraine being a member of NATO anytime soon. So that's where that is now. And New York Times with an article I just started reading about how the most brutal fighting going on right now is on Russian soil as Russian soldiers try to dislodge that little piece of land the Ukrainians have taken. And that's a brutal, awful fight.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah. There are some fairly Trump friendly diplomatic types who think hegseth saying those things out loud was just a horrific mistake. I don't and I think I understand why. In a classic negotiating sense, you don't want to announce in advance what you're willing to give up. Well, that's true, but I take it off the table.

[Joe Getty]

But I don't have any idea where they are in the negotiations that may, they may have already crossed that point.

[Jack Armstrong]

I don't think. Well, officially there aren't any negotiations.

[Joe Getty]

But what's being discussed behind the scenes that might, they might have already dealt with that.

[Jack Armstrong]

Right.

[Joe Getty]

You know, conversations. I mean that's one of the headlines today. Trump has had several conversations with Putin recently. I don't know to what extent we should be deciding what Ukraine's willing to do. That's its own separate topic. But Trump may have already told Putin, yeah, we realize they're not going to get all their country back.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah. And I just, I'm so tired of the knee jerk condemnation of departing from the usual way of doing things. I think the usual way of doing things sometimes is good. And so I'm not knee jerk in the other direction either. But yeah, I don't, I don't feel any need to leap to the criticism of the way they're doing things now because so much of it was not very effective anyway.

[Joe Getty]

Well, two things on that. One, Zelensky has already said himself that he realizes they are probably not going to get all the land back to the pre war border. So he has said two, having read the Bob Woodward book and the David Sanger book, there's so much that goes on that we don't know about until much later.

[Jack Armstrong]

100 as the kids say. So speaking of things people say, are you laughing at me? How dare you?

[Joe Getty]

That was funny.

[Jack Armstrong]

So a couple of things from the world of work. Number one, I'm working on my first ever PowerPoint. Except I'm not using PowerPoint. I'm using Apple's platform, which is keynote. I have Never made one of those PowerPoint style presentations in my life.

[Joe Getty]

I haven't either. And with luck, I may be able to get to the grave without having to.

[Jack Armstrong]

And I've always thought it might be fun to know how it's practically effortless anybody has ever done.

[Joe Getty]

You want to be employable? It seems like a good idea, especially now.

[Jack Armstrong]

But I'm going to work very, very hard to avoid the things I hate about PowerPoint presentations and that everybody else hates unnecessarily. Fancy transitions between slides and the slide that has five points that you can read in 12 seconds, but that the presenter reads for you over the case of 92nd.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah. I've always wondered, why were you doing this? So you're telling me all this slowly. Okay, I see it right up there.

[Jack Armstrong]

I read it already. Can we move on, please? Anyway, and then this I came across in the Wall Street Journal. I think this is so funny that people don't get this. I'll start the way they start. Greg Fahey says there's a trick that helped him recruit college athletes and make friends with powerful people. When he meets someone, he repeats their name in conversation and he writes it down his phone to aid his memory. But he's one of those guys. Okay, Jack, would you be totally opposed to trying this out? Because, Jack, I hear your worry.

[Joe Getty]

You do it twice.

[Jack Armstrong]

What can I do for you now?

[Joe Getty]

Three times. I'm a little weirded out.

[Jack Armstrong]

I know. And that the article is about how the vast majority of the people think that's creepy.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah, I. I agree.

[Jack Armstrong]

I feel like some people think it's a powerful tool.

[Joe Getty]

Even the first one I'm a little. Makes a little weird. But you get into 2 and 3. I've started referring to our. What are you supposed to call them, other than waitresses?

[Jack Armstrong]

Servers.

[Joe Getty]

I've started referring to servers by their names. And my kids really hate it. I don't know why, but it really bothers them when I do that.

[Jack Armstrong]

Wow. Yeah, I always.

[Joe Getty]

Jenny, I'm having a good night. How are you doing, Jenny?

[Jack Armstrong]

Whenever my mom would chat with a server or whatever, that just made me so uncomfortable.

[Joe Getty]

Do you remember why? Because it drives my kids nuts. So now I do it more.

[Jack Armstrong]

It's got to be something anthropological, huh? It's gotta be. Anyway, so the guy reacting to the. Jack, would you be totally opposed to trying this. Jack. Jack, I hear that you're. He says it was clear the person was using manipulative sales tactics. And this communications professor says it's easy to see when somebody's trying to influence you by doing that. I feel icky when someone says my name every other sentence.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah, I'm probably. I'm probably not buying whatever you're trying to sell me. You do that.

[Jack Armstrong]

Oh no, no. I'm going elsewhere. See? What is it, Jim? Jim, you'll notice I'm leaving. Jim. Now I'm walking out the door. Jim.

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[Joe Getty]

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[Jack Armstrong]

I feel like the luckiest man on earth right now. And I want you to know that I am not a hero in this at all. And President Trump is a hero.

[Joe Getty]

Mark Fogel, teacher accused of smoking dope in Russia by the Russians. Maybe he was, maybe he wasn't. You never know. They grab Americans all the time in China and Russia and North Korea and places like that so they can use him as a bargaining chip for something. Or he might have been smoking dope. Who knows? You don't get to hold an American.

[Jack Armstrong]

Into the country anyway.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah, you don't get to hold an American for, what, four years? How long was he there? A long time.

[Jack Armstrong]

Long time. Yeah, years.

[Joe Getty]

And first, I always wonder on these things because, you know, there's, you've got the policy people around any White House, and then you got the political people, and I'm sure the political people are pushing hard for, get this guy on tv. Get this guy. We need to. We need him standing next to Donald Trump. And I'm thinking, man, I just got out of four years in a Russian prison. Which he's about to describe what it was like. I want to go home. I don't want to be on Fox and Friends this morning doing an interview with makeup and lights and waiting for the segment to start an end. I want to be home in my bed with my family or friends or whoever I haven't seen in four years.

[Jack Armstrong]

Right.

[Joe Getty]

That seems like, Yeah, I don't know what's going on there. Anyway, here is Mark Fogel. Fogel describing a little of the last several years in a Russian prison.

[Jack Armstrong]

This super organism of people that came to my support and the love that I was given sustained. Sustained me for three and a half years in a prison that had me in hospitals for more than 100 days. I was given more than 400 injections in that time. And knowing I had the support of my fellow Pennsylvanians, my family, my friends, it was so overwhelming that it brought me to my knees and it brought me to tears.

[Joe Getty]

I'm sure he did a big debriefing with the CIA. Maybe the first thing he did on the plane back over, probably 400 injections of what?

[Jack Armstrong]

And you're held in the hospital why? As some sort of weird detention. More questions than answers. But that's fine. There's time. Yeah, but, good Lord, 400 injections of God knows what? That would scare me.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah. What?

[Jack Armstrong]

You're a beating. I know how to take. Not that I would enjoy it, but then jabbing me full of God knows what.

[Joe Getty]

I assume he doesn't speak Russian. So somebody comes up to you in the hospital or the prison and, and sticks a needle in your arm, you think, am I going to be dead in 30 seconds? Or what the hell is that? Are you doing medical experiments on me? What the hell's going on here?

[Jack Armstrong]

Right.

[Joe Getty]

400. And was he counting them or seemed.

[Jack Armstrong]

Quite confident in his number?

[Joe Getty]

I have many questions. Anyway. Here's Trump talking about the whole deal that he made with Putin. They were very nice. We were treated very nicely by Russia, actually. I hope that's the beginning of a relationship where we can end that war and millions of people can stop being killed. They've lost millions of people. They lost in terms of soldiers, probably 1.5 million soldiers in a short period of time. We got to stop that war. And I'm interested primarily from the standpoint of death. We're losing all those soldiers, and they're not American soldiers, the Ukrainian and Russian soldiers. But you're probably talking about a million and a half. I think we got to bring that one to an end. So what's the angle there? So this is seen as us getting Mark Fogel back, who Putin had been holding illegally for three and a half years as part of the negotiation for ending the war in Ukraine. I don't know how it's all going to fit together.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah, you know, Trump absolutely understands the art of negotiation. You know, you want to rattle a seller and soothe a buyer, for instance, and he's trying to get Putin to buy a good deal to end the war. That spares Ukraine too much, you know, defeat. But the idea that you could, like, maneuver against Putin and actually buy goodwill, it's like trying to buy goodwill from an alligator. I mean, I don't mind him trying. It just seems, is it that every president's a bit of an egomaniac and they all think they can play Putin even a little bit?

[Joe Getty]

I don't know how. How would anybody still have that belief? And he's an evil, child murdering monster. I'm uncomfortable with anything even close to friendly sounding about him.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah, I get why Trump's doing what he's doing, but it's. It's difficult to take on a moral level. Russia has treated us very well so far. Well, I guess to your point, the beginning of goodwill.

[Joe Getty]

I don't think being nice to him is gonna get you anything. He will react in his best interest, whether from what he gets or what he. What the pain he's going to avoid, only.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah, like an alligator.

[Joe Getty]

It's whether you call him, you know, evil personified or my good friend. Either way, you're going to get the same result. I think it's just going to be all about what, you know, his interests are. So I don't know why you got to do the. Anyway, so Trump just put this out. He just tweeted this out. And I won't read the whole thing. It's really long. I just had a lengthy and highly provocative phone call. Productive. I'm sorry, I should. That's funny. That was in my head. I just had a lengthy and highly productive phone call with President Vladimir Putin of Russia. We discussed Ukraine, the Middle east, energy, artificial intelligence, the power of the dollar, and various other subjects. We both reflected on the great history of our nations and the fact that we fought so successfully together in World War II, remembering that Russia lost tens of millions of people and we likewise lost so many. Just all this stuff is just. We each talked about the strengths of our respective nations and the great benefit that we someday will someday have in working together. But first, we, as we both agreed, we want to stop the millions of deaths taking place in the war with Russia, Ukraine. President Putin even used my very strong camp campaign campaign motto of common sense on in all caps. We both believe very strongly in it. Putin is going to agree to this if it's in a. Something he agrees to. I mean, like, he's okay with, period.

[Jack Armstrong]

In any negotiation, there's probably a little bit around the margins. You can increase or decrease with goodwill, but not with Putin. Not even a little. This is just the way Trump does business, though.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah, this is interesting. We have also agreed to have our respective teams start negotiations immediately. And we will begin by calling President Zelinsky of Ukraine to inform him of the conversation. Well, I guess he'll be pleased to know other people are figuring out how much of his country he has to give away.

[Jack Armstrong]

Thanks. Thanks for the jingle.

[Joe Getty]

Something which I will begin doing right now. So he's going to jump on the phone with Zelinsky. I've asked Secretary of State Marco Rubio, Director of the CIA, John Ratcliffe. He goes through a bunch of other people to lead the negotiations, which I feel strongly will be successful. Millions of people have died in a war that would not have happened if I were president. But it did happen, so it must end.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah. You know, in Trump's defense, the Ukrainians have tried everything, up to and including a horrific, bloody war to get Russia out of their country. And that hasn't worked. So, you know, now the US Is going to step in. Hasn't worked with the cooperation.

[Joe Getty]

Hasn't worked. Within my opinion, tepid support that could have been much more forceful. And all of the things we eventually gave them could have come much earlier and could have made all the difference in the war and they might have actually gotten their land back. We'll never know.

[Jack Armstrong]

Joe Biden was a horrible, horrible president. Yes.

[Joe Getty]

Eventually agreeing to all these things. Why didn't you do it earlier? Because he was so scared of Putin using nuclear weapons, I guess. But, you know, as I've been saying since this whole thing started, I'd rather the rest of the world was more scared of us than we are of them. I think right now the world is more scare of us. Scared of us than we are of them.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah. Yeah. Well, there's no way this thing ends in a way that's not just absolutely heartbreaking and disappointing and disgusting. Just. That's the nature of these things.

[Joe Getty]

And millions of lives that died for no reason whatsoever.

[Jack Armstrong]

Oh, yeah.

[Joe Getty]

As is often the case in war.

[Jack Armstrong]

Mostly because of Putin's czarist dreams. Well, he wants to be what, William the Conqueror or Henry the 8th.

[Joe Getty]

Remember that whole thing? Which book was it that I read?

[Jack Armstrong]

Peter the Great.

[Joe Getty]

I think this was the Woodward book. But during COVID Putin was so scared of getting Covid, he went down into the archives underneath the Kremlin and started reading through old papers and stuff going back to like Peter the Great that they still have under there and convinced himself of some noble position Russia should have in the world. And it's his job to get it back because he's sitting down there by himself reading through, you know, 300 year old paperwork. How crazy is that?

[Jack Armstrong]

Right? Right. Yeah. Well, speaking of warfare, I'm trying to find the quote about the Israel Hamas thing, and boy, if I could find it, that would be handy. But it was, what are people calling it?

[Joe Getty]

Gaza, Lago or Moragazza?

[Jack Armstrong]

We're trying each one to see how it fits. Yeah, but the person made the point. Let me see if I can find it really quickly. That there has never been an instance in history where one neighbor launched an unprovoked, bloody attack against its neighbor and that attack failed, that they didn't lose their government or their sovereignty.

[Joe Getty]

I'm sure that's true. That, that doesn't surprise me because.

[Jack Armstrong]

And if you have two brain cells to rub together and can put aside your ideology momentarily and actually listen to common sense and facts, you can't live peacefully next to a neighbor who did that, especially one who did that in the midst of trying as hard as they could to convince you that they were at peace and would never do that. How about the moment you let down their your guard, they slaughtered your about.

[Joe Getty]

This for icing on the cake. Even after you've nearly eliminated them, they still say they're committed to killing you.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yes, exactly. It is impossible in the pages of history, impossible to find any people in any government who said, well, all right, you invaded us without provocation and slaughtered our people. But all right, let's let bygones be good, let's hug it out.

[Joe Getty]

I realize you're still saying you want me dead and all my friends and family, but I'm gonna assume you don't actually mean it.

[Jack Armstrong]

And so these soft heads, and I've been pounding this for so long, sorry, I'll wrap it up. The idea that, well, we need to come to a ceasefire and a two state solution. What is your world like? What color is the sky? Is there gravity there? Do animals talk and dance or what? What, what happens in that weird world you live in? That's not planet Earth.

[Joe Getty]

It's a dodge. Some of it is soft heads, some of it's just a dodge. King Abdullah of Jordan yesterday, when he brought it up, sitting there next to Trump and he didn't know what to do. So Trump's going on and about how the United States will own Gaza and will develop it and King of Jordan is like, I'm sure he's thinking, what the hell is he actually up to? He's not actually going to do that, but what is his angle? How is this going to turn out? But anyway, he threw out at some point. Jordan is only willing to move forward if the two state solution is. And I thought, okay, that gets you out of rhetorically, it gets you out of a jam, right?

[Jack Armstrong]

Islamist nut jobs. Don't look at us. That's what he's saying.

[Joe Getty]

All right, we'll finish strong.

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[Jack Armstrong]

What are.

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[Joe Getty]

Fly Eagles, fly.

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[Joe Getty]

The Eagles win at Super Bowl 59.

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[Joe Getty]

That's one of the songs Paul McCarty played last night at an impromptu pop up concert at a club in New York, which I would have loved to have been at.

[Jack Armstrong]

Oh my gosh.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah, he opened with Hard Days Night. He did a whole bunch of songs. I. I don't know, but he did Got to get you into my life and maybe I'm amazed. Jet get back. Let it be ended with hey Jude and some sort of encore. So that would have been a cool show at the Super Bowl. That was interesting how many celebrities sit in the same section and it seems like because did you see any of that? Like Kevin Costner was sitting next to Pete Davidson and I yeah, I don't think they're buds. I think that like just like they probably Brokered tickets that super rich people do. And they ended up sitting together because they put the famous people in one section or something.

[Jack Armstrong]

Would not shock me a bit if the NFL had a very special people ticket line.

[Joe Getty]

There's gotta be.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah.

[Joe Getty]

And I wonder if they have part of it might be just. They have extra security guaranteed because you just can't have. Even if they went on to StubHub and were willing to pay a ton of money for a good seat, you just can't have Paul McCartney sitting in the midst of a whole bunch of Eagles fans. I mean, he'd be harassed to death.

[Jack Armstrong]

Be selfies hit by the batteries they chuck.

[Joe Getty]

Bunch of battery chuckers just signing autographs and having to answer stupid questions. What's jet about the whole dang game. But so they're all sitting together, I thought like Paul McCartney and Adam Sandler, like six seats away. John back and forth. I wonder what they're talking about. I'd be fascinated to listen to those people. It's probably quite mundane, but I would still find that somewhat interesting.

[Jack Armstrong]

Oh, yeah, absolutely. It's mundane. Ness would be interesting.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah. Paul McCartney did not sing this song last night.

[Lenovo Ad]

Which side are you on? Which side are you on?

[Joe Getty]

We played this monstrosity several times a day. It was the. The worst civil rights heroes song they were singing on the Capitol steps to try to keep Elon Musk from getting rid of. Rid of useless employees. Congratulations.

[Jack Armstrong]

Awful.

[Joe Getty]

But we got this text and it's a decent point. Why is it that the left has all the best musicians and artists in music on their side, yet they have the worst political chance? Which side are you on?

[Jack Armstrong]

Really? Yeah.

[Joe Getty]

Can't you get Lady Gaga or, you know, whoever. Springsteen?

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah.

[Joe Getty]

Could you come up with some lyrics for me real quick instead of doing that?

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Which side are you on?

[Jack Armstrong]

The chorus is okay. I mean, it's sung horribly, but it's okay. It's the verses that they really start, you know, running into trees.

[Joe Getty]

Do we have any of the verses? No. We're out of time. Call Taylor Swift. Can you turn a breakup song into a We Don't Want Government to Shrink song? Thank you.

[Jack Armstrong]

I'll get back to you. Yeah. Final thought. Oh, boy. Speaking of great music. Oh, my God.

[Joe Getty]

Here's your host for Final Thoughts, Joe Getty.

[Jack Armstrong]

Let's get a final thought from everybody on the crew to wrap things up for the day, beginning with our technical director, Michelangelo Michael. Final thought. I'm a little concerned it's looking like where I live it's gonna be raining on Valentine's day. That means all the red paint on my body is gonna just wash off.

[Joe Getty]

This really sucks. That's right.

[Jack Armstrong]

Oh, it's gonna ruin your cupid costume. Katie Green, our esteemed newswoman, has a final thought. Katie, since I'm the only one on.

[Joe Getty]

The show that can do this, the side that I am on is the one that would slap that woman upside the head that's singing that. There you go. I've had it with that song.

[Jack Armstrong]

Jack, a final thought for us.

[Joe Getty]

Yeah, I love some of these examples that Elon's bringing out, but it's going to be hard to top the paper manila envelope down in the mine retirement process. Oh my God.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah. If you didn't hear that, grab the podcast Armstrong and gettyondemand. My final thought just flitted out of my head. Oh, my final thought is a question. Was that the there's a hole in the sky where the tree once was lady, or is it just like a type?

[Joe Getty]

I think that it's a type. They all sound sound like that. For some. It's just like the screeching young liberal women all could be the same person.

[Jack Armstrong]

Oh yeah.

[Joe Getty]

When they do a tick tock video.

[Jack Armstrong]

Yeah, they're churning them out of factories. Somebody's making money. There's a hole in the sky where the tree once was.

[Lenovo Ad]

Somebody's making money.

[Jack Armstrong]

That's good stuff. On your feet, on your feet, on your feet.

[Joe Getty]

Okay. Awesome. Armstrong and Getty wrapping up another grueling four hour workday.

[Jack Armstrong]

Don't you know? If you go To Armstrong and getty.com you can find the hot links there. All sorts of articles and videos and stuff that we referenced. It's right there for you. You can drop us Note [e-mail] Pick up some swag at the Ang Store. The Adidas hoodies, very, very popular. The link to the podcast there too.

[Joe Getty]

I gotta grab me one of them hoodies. They come in different colors.

[Jack Armstrong]

Which side are you on, Jack? Which side are you?

[Joe Getty]

See you tomorrow. God bless America.

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I don't swear in public very well.

[Joe Getty]

But we have to Armstrong and get it.

[Lenovo Ad]

Which side are you on?

[Elon Musk]

Doesn't that sound crazy?

[Joe Getty]

It seems like there's a few kinks in that Slinky for those of you that don't understand is taking it to a much higher level. It's true.

[Jack Armstrong]

Are you?

[Joe Getty]

Yep. And child, listen.

[Jack Armstrong]

But I have not found myself yet in the charming berg of swine's teeth. But I hope and hope to see it in it citizens sometime soon suburb of Elko. Beautiful this time of year on that high note. Good luck Armstrong and Getty.

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