It's National Folding Your Laundry Day!

Summary

Armstrong & Getty On Demand

Episode: It's National Folding Your Laundry Day!
Date: September 3, 2025
Hosts: Armstrong & Getty (iHeartPodcasts)

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Overview

In this episode, Armstrong & Getty dive into the amusing and sometimes infuriating world of "national" holidays, riffing on how seemingly every day is a celebration of something obscure. Their conversation, sparked by a recent Washington Post article ranking 5,700 holidays by "realness," becomes a satirical look at American culture, the commercialization of holidays, and the biases of major media outlets. The hosts blend their trademark banter and skepticism, poking fun at both silly "holidays" and media perspectives, while making broader points about what really counts as a celebration.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Rise of Fake National Holidays

• Origins of Mock Holidays ([03:19])

  • Armstrong recalls Getty's longstanding "jihad" against fake holidays:

    "This is one of your many jihads. Joe has so many jihads. And one of them is fighting back against national so-called national holidays that are all made up."

  • Explanation of how websites allow anyone to "buy" a national day:

    "For 500 bucks, we'll declare this national, you know, local Realtors day. And you as a local realtor think that'd be really cool. So you pay the money and then it shows up on a calendar somewhere or a local news station mention it." ([03:35])

• Absurdity in the Calendar ([04:07])

  • Washington Post's article noted for ranking everything from Labor Day to "World Dracula Day."
  • Armstrong summarizes the proliferation:

    "Like today, September 3rd... is Global Talent Acquisition Day, Merchant Navy Day, Skyscraper Day. I mean, that's just some of them, you know. And what the hell those mean?" ([04:19])

2. The "Realness Score" of Holidays ([05:05])

• Holidays ranked on a "realness score"—media mentions, calendar presence, actual celebration, etc.

• Example: "US bowling league day" scores just 0.5, "like half of 1% in terms of how real a holiday that is."

• Hug-themed days are everywhere ("National hug a plumber day," "National hug a sheep day," etc.).

• Notable Quote ([06:41]):

  "No, I was just hugging the sheep, I promise." — Armstrong
  "Get your hooves out of my boots." — Getty ([06:39])

3. Critique of Media Bias in Holiday Rankings

• The highest "realness" ranking is Thanksgiving ([07:09]):
  • "Thanksgiving, that's the most real, most. The biggest chunk of people celebrate it..." — Armstrong
• Armstrong calls out the Washington Post for neglecting Christmas in the top 20 real holidays:
  • "Christmas isn't in there. I call bullshit." ([08:19])
  • Getty: "Oh, please. The entire country stops for Christmas ... It's like 20% of our economy." ([08:22])
• Both mock the decision to rate Juneteenth (#3) above Christmas and Independence Day.
  • “Juneteenth, S T F U.” — Getty ([10:47])
  • "You could add. I'll bet there's a third of the country that still doesn't even know Juneteenth exists." — Armstrong ([11:05])

4. Satirical Observations & Banter

• Armstrong describes the Washington Post as out of touch:

  "Like so much of progressive America, be clowns itself so skillfully and thoroughly. I shouldn't be annoyed with them. I should be grateful..." — Getty ([08:48])

• On the proliferation of holidays:
  • "There are 5,700 completely made up crap days that nobody even knows exist." — Armstrong ([11:48])

5. Most Common Holiday Themes ([13:34])

• "Dog" is the most used word across made-up holidays; others: "chocolate," "cream," "coffee," "hug," "pie."

• Reads from a list of dog-related holidays—everything from "Doggy Date Night" to "National Dog Theft Awareness Day."

• Odd fake holidays are named and mocked:

  • "Hug a shed and take a selfie day."
  • "Dump your significant jerk Day." ([14:38])

• Memorable Moment

  • "I'm gonna make this a new me. New me, New year, new me." — Armstrong, riffing on the timing of "Dump your significant jerk Day" ([15:38])

6. Armstrong & Getty's Signature Tone

• Throughout, the hosts maintain a sarcastic, irreverent tone.
• They lampoon both the minor holidays themselves and the earnestness with which media sometimes covers them.

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Notable Quotes (with Timestamps)

• On fake holidays:

  "This is one of your many jihads... fighting back against national so-called national holidays that are all made up." — Armstrong ([03:19])

• On media bias:

  "Christmas isn't in there. I call bullshit." — Armstrong ([08:19])
  "You suck at your jobs. You suck morally. You have no wisdom. You certainly don't have a sense of humor. You suck." — Getty ([09:51])

• On Juneteenth vs. Christmas:

  "Juneteenth, S T F U." — Getty ([10:47])
  "You couldn't, if you locked yourself in the basement and stuffed stuff in your ears, avoid knowing it was Christmas." — Armstrong ([11:19])

• On the endless parade of "hug" holidays:

  "International hug a deer day. National hug a news person day. Hug a shed and take a selfie day. What the hell is that?" — Armstrong ([12:56])

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 03:06 — Announcement: "Oh look, it's national folding your laundry day."
• 03:19-05:01 — Origin/creation of fake holidays, mocking their rise
• 05:05-07:09 — "Realness score" and the Washington Post article
• 07:09-11:35 — Critique of holiday rankings, exclusion of Christmas, inclusion of Juneteenth
• 11:35-12:44 — Further mockery of holiday rankings and their absurd ordering
• 12:56-15:32 — Parsing and parodying absurd unofficial holidays
• 13:34-14:38 — Most common words in holiday names, dog-themed days
• 14:38-15:42 — Discussion and joking about "Dump your significant jerk Day"

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Conclusion

Armstrong & Getty use the excuse of "National Folding Your Laundry Day" to lampoon fake holidays and highlight how unserious and arbitrary most designated "National Days" have become. They mix biting media critique—especially targeting the Washington Post's holiday "realness" rankings—with comic ranting about what deserves to be celebrated. The hosts' playful jabs and cultural commentary make this episode a lighthearted but pointed look at American traditions—real and imagined.

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For listeners who missed the episode: expect witty, rapid-fire skepticism about everything from National Jerky Day to the lack of Christmas in the "realest holidays," all wrapped in Armstrong & Getty's incisive style.

Transcript

[Christina Quinn]

This is an iHeart podcast.

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[Armstrong]

Oh look, it's national folding your laundry day. Let's celebrate. It's one more thing. Armstrong and Getty.

[Getty]

One more thing.

[Armstrong]

Washington Post had a good article the other day about something we have mocked for years. And I've never heard anybody else talk about this but us. Actually, you, you brought it to us many years ago. You, you started it. This is one of your many jihads. Joe has so many jihads. And one of them is fighting back against national so called national holidays that are all made up. And then Joe brought us the information many, many years ago that there are these various websites that charge you like for 500 bucks. We'll declare this national, you know, local Realtors day. And you as a local realtor think that'd be really cool. So you pay the money and then it shows up on a calendar somewhere or a local news station mention it.

[Getty]

Doesn'T actually today's National Strawberry Shortcake Day. Say the newscaster idiots.

[Armstrong]

And the Washington Post headline was, we ranked 5700 holidays from labor Day to World Dracula Day. Which ones do you celebrate? And you, and you can put in a date like your birthday or whatever and get the list of all of them. Like today, September 3rd, when we're recording, this is Global Talent Acquisition Day, Merchant Navy Day, Skyscraper Day. I mean, that's just some of them, you know. And what the hell those mean?

[Getty]

What does it even mean, right?

[Armstrong]

It's, it's a lot like the we'll have a star named for you in the National Register. It's similar to that sort of thing. National Folding Laundry Day I mentioned is March 30. National Jerky Day is June 12. There is a what if cats and dogs had opposable thumbs day, which is March 3rd.

[Getty]

Chills me to the bone. Even contemplating it's all pretty stupid.

[Armstrong]

And we could go through them and mock those and laugh about them and all that sort of stuff. And then they, they have a realness score on these days and they ranked all 5,700 on the realness score, which includes a whole bunch of stuff. Do I actually have what the criteria is? I did kind of have it off the top of my head. It's the. How many people celebrate it, how many calendars included on there, how often does it get mentioned in the media, you know, blah, blah, blah as to how real it is or not. And for the. Yeah, for the ones Today, for instance, US bowling league day is today that has a point five realness score, like half of 1% in terms of how real a holiday that is. And a lot of them are really, really low. But then they ranked everything, which I thought was kind of interesting. And, and I also saw some typical Washington Post sort of bias in there. Oh, by the way, the, the national hug days, there are hundreds of those. Like national hug, a plumber day, national hug, a drummer day, national hug, someone named Kevin Day, national hug, a musician day hug, hug an Australian hug, a vegetarian hug, a medievalist hug, a sheep. I mean, there's just many, many, many of these. No, I was just hugging the sheep, I promise.

[Getty]

Get your hooves out of my boots.

[Armstrong]

How did that happen?

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[Armstrong]

You just caught me at a weird angle. So there's that. I mean, this is really an interesting article. They go through so many parts of it. The, the nailing down what's the realest. And then they got this graph with the dots. I mean, it's really, really quite something. Wow. For 5,700 different holidays and how real they are. The most real holiday with a score of 11.8.

[Getty]

Very good score, very high.

[Armstrong]

Out of 20 out of 15. I don't know what it is, but the highest score, which is not surprising if you thought about it for very long. Thanksgiving, that's the most real, most. The biggest chunk of people celebrate it because it's non religious, gets mentioned, companies honor it, businesses are closed, shows up on calendars, all of the things. The highest ranking you can get is for Thanksgiving.

[Getty]

I must quibble and say it was quite specifically deliberately religious at first.

[Armstrong]

Oh, yeah. It's not now.

[Getty]

And that's the idea that many people have of the day. But certainly gluttony and football are reason enough to gather and celebrate the day.

[Armstrong]

Yeah. And nobody attaches it to a religious religion now. So nobody gets butthurt about it. And, and everybody goes ahead and does.

[Getty]

It if you want to. It's entirely voluntary and well, God bless you.

[Armstrong]

Followed by Memorial Day, followed by. And again, this is a Washington Post coming up with the criteria. Well, let me just throw in off the top of my head, how many do they have here? 20 of the top 20. Christmas isn't in there. I call bullshit.

[Getty]

Yes. Oh, please.

[Armstrong]

The entire country stops for Christmas, and I don't care if you're Jewish or Muslim, it still stops. I mean, it's just everything is built around vacations, commerce, whatever. It is like 20% of our economy. I mean, everything is built around that. To not have that on here because you want to be so precious about not having a religious holiday is so. Washington Post.

[Getty]

You know, I just had a revelation because you're 100% right. I agree with you. And I initially was, when you said that, just so pissed off and annoyed at the Washington Post. But it's funny, it just flashed into my head, the Washington Post, like so much of progressive America, be clowns itself so skillfully and thoroughly. I shouldn't be annoyed with them. I should be grateful. It's like if, you know, I had a rival for the hand of a fairy young lass, and that rival, like, punched her mom in the stomach. I mean, that's what the Washington Post is doing in the war for hearts and minds. You people are effing stupid. You don't. Yeah, well, Christmas is really just, you know, Christians, white people, something, the patriarchy, blah, blah, blah. Oh, my God.

[Armstrong]

Every business in America structures their year around Christmas, for instance.

[Getty]

Yeah.

[Armstrong]

Yeah, I know.

[Getty]

Yeah. God dang it.

[Armstrong]

So. And then people suck.

[Getty]

You suck at your jobs. You suck morally. You have no wisdom. You certainly don't have a sense of humor. You suck.

[Armstrong]

Right. It's like I'm always mentioning. I mention this every Mother's Day, which is like number 15 on the list of the most real holidays. I would say that should be higher also every year.

[Getty]

Do they have Independence Day, AKA the Fourth of July?

[Armstrong]

I'll get to some more of them that will make you mad. But like every Mother's Day, I always. I always mentioned the op eds because Mother's Day Sunday in the Washington Post will have endless op EDS about how awful Mother's Day is or how how awful moms are or how awful, you know, using the term mom is or whatever crap that appeals to practically no one. So, number one, realness, Thanksgiving. Number two, realness, Memorial Day. I'm happy with that. Number three, realness of all the things that exist.

[Getty]

Juneteenth, S T F U.

[Armstrong]

But it's just. It's just wrong. It's not. I'm not making a racial judgment here. It's just wrong. You could add. I'll bet there's a third of the country that still doesn't even know Juneteenth exists.

[Getty]

Right, and there's a third that knows it exists, but aren't sure what we're.

[Armstrong]

Celebrating and don't do anything. As opposed to Christmas, which isn't on this list.

[Getty]

I stand by my aforementioned four letters.

[Armstrong]

You couldn't, if you locked yourself in the basement and stuffed stuff in your ears, avoid knowing it was Christmas. Yeah, but they have Juneteenth ranked third in terms of real holidays. Anywho, then Martin Luther King Jr. Day.

[Getty]

Similar before Independence Day.

[Armstrong]

Oh yeah. This, this.

[Getty]

Well, this is a study of psychosis. This has nothing to do with holidays. This has to do with psychotic people who happen to work at the Washington Post.

[Armstrong]

Well, this is, this is one subsection of this whole thing about holidays. And the main thing is just that there are 5,700 completely made up crap days that nobody even knows exist. That's the most point. But then this realness scale they came up with so that they could interject their Washington Post goodness of wokeness about everything. So yeah, Independence Day looks like it's about 17th or something on the list, which is hilarious. That's another one that everybody's aware of. Freaking everybody knows fourth of July happens and builds their summer around it. Well, right.

[Getty]

And if you were unaware of it.

[Armstrong]

The fireworks would remind you there are literally fucking fireworks on that day. And you go downtown that morning. How come I can't get across the street? The fourth of July parades going on in every town in America, including my.

[Getty]

Town, who had some Juneteenth.

[Armstrong]

But.

[Getty]

And again, I don't want to disrespect Juneteenth because it's a. It's a cool thing.

[Armstrong]

Yeah, but. So that was just hilarious. I thought.

[Getty]

Yeah.

[Armstrong]

International hug a deer day. National hug a news person day. Hug a shed and take a selfie day. What the hell is that? Hug a shed and take a selfie on what that is. Hug a bear. Hug an addict or alcoholic day. Hug a greeting card writer day. That's kind of funny. Meta thing. International hug a runner. Hug an economist. Hug an economist.

[Getty]

Wow.

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[Getty]

How you doing? Nice graph.

[Armstrong]

I was about 15% better before you hugged me. Words that appear 25 times or more in the names of unofficial holidays. I'll end with this. But the. The amount of information they have on this is really quite amazing. The most common word to show up in the 5,700 different holidays. Dog. Which is not that surprising. There's just so many different iterations of bring your dog to work, hug your dog, feed your dog, love your dog, blah blah blah.

[Getty]

Sure.

[Armstrong]

Then chocolate, cream, love, cream, cream, coffee, ground coffee. Why does cream make such an appearance?

[Getty]

Whipped cream, ice cream.

[Armstrong]

Then the word take the word work. The word hug pie is down there though, but it's on the list. For instance, there's Doggy Date Night day where you take your dog on a date, you weirdos. National Dog Theft Day. Oh, National Dog Theft Awareness Day. Okay. French Bulldog Day. Little Pampered Dog Day. Rescue Dog Day. Dog Party Day. Dogs and Politics Day. Dog Photography Day. Black Dog Day. Thankful for my Dog Day, which is different than the other dog days in some freaking way. Anyway, goes on and on and on. As we explained, Valentine's Day. Dump your significant jerk Day around. Love has a has a high score of realness. I had not heard that one before. Pick a day. February 1st. That's the day you should dump your significant jerk. I think I remember talking about this in the past. It's around the whole how they were at your family gatherings. Did they not get you a present? Blah blah blah. February 1st at looking back on it, let's start. Let's let's get rid of this person, right?

[Getty]

And you spend January thinking, is this getting better? Am I overreacting? By the end of the month you think, no. No I'm not.

[Armstrong]

I'm gonna make this a new me. New me, New year, new me.

[Getty]

I should have known they were an a hole when they told me they worked at the Washington Post, but I just, I don't know.

[Armstrong]

Economist Day.

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[Christina Quinn]

If you eat too many ultra processed foods you could be starving your gut microbes and they'll get hangry. That's one of many things I learned after working on a new audio course about the gut microbiome. You can learn how to keep your gut happy by listening to Try this from the Washington Post. I'm Christina Quinn. I host Try this. Dig in with Me on practical advice for life's common challenges follow Try this right now, wherever you're listening. Seriously, try it.

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[Armstrong]

Well, I guess that's it.

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[Getty]

Ugh.

[Armstrong]

Come on.

[Christina Quinn]

Why is this taking so long?

[Armstrong]

This thing is ancient.

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[Christina Quinn]

If you eat too many ultra processed foods, you could be starving your gut microbes and they'll get hangry. That's one of many things I learned after working on a new audio course about the gut microbiome. You can learn how to keep your gut happy by listening to Try this from the Washington Post. I'm Christina Quinn. I host Try this. Dig in with Me on practical advice for life's common challenges Follow Try this right now, wherever you're listening. Seriously, try it.

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[Christina Quinn]

This is an I heart podcast.