Armstrong & Getty On Demand

Episode: It's National Folding Your Laundry Day!
Date: September 3, 2025
Hosts: Armstrong & Getty (iHeartPodcasts)

Overview

In this episode, Armstrong & Getty dive into the amusing and sometimes infuriating world of "national" holidays, riffing on how seemingly every day is a celebration of something obscure. Their conversation, sparked by a recent Washington Post article ranking 5,700 holidays by "realness," becomes a satirical look at American culture, the commercialization of holidays, and the biases of major media outlets. The hosts blend their trademark banter and skepticism, poking fun at both silly "holidays" and media perspectives, while making broader points about what really counts as a celebration.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Rise of Fake National Holidays

• Origins of Mock Holidays ([03:19])

  • Armstrong recalls Getty's longstanding "jihad" against fake holidays:

    "This is one of your many jihads. Joe has so many jihads. And one of them is fighting back against national so-called national holidays that are all made up."

  • Explanation of how websites allow anyone to "buy" a national day:

    "For 500 bucks, we'll declare this national, you know, local Realtors day. And you as a local realtor think that'd be really cool. So you pay the money and then it shows up on a calendar somewhere or a local news station mention it." ([03:35])

• Absurdity in the Calendar ([04:07])

  • Washington Post's article noted for ranking everything from Labor Day to "World Dracula Day."
  • Armstrong summarizes the proliferation:

    "Like today, September 3rd... is Global Talent Acquisition Day, Merchant Navy Day, Skyscraper Day. I mean, that's just some of them, you know. And what the hell those mean?" ([04:19])

2. The "Realness Score" of Holidays ([05:05])

• Holidays ranked on a "realness score"—media mentions, calendar presence, actual celebration, etc.

• Example: "US bowling league day" scores just 0.5, "like half of 1% in terms of how real a holiday that is."

• Hug-themed days are everywhere ("National hug a plumber day," "National hug a sheep day," etc.).

• Notable Quote ([06:41]):

  "No, I was just hugging the sheep, I promise." — Armstrong
  "Get your hooves out of my boots." — Getty ([06:39])

3. Critique of Media Bias in Holiday Rankings

• The highest "realness" ranking is Thanksgiving ([07:09]):
  • "Thanksgiving, that's the most real, most. The biggest chunk of people celebrate it..." — Armstrong
• Armstrong calls out the Washington Post for neglecting Christmas in the top 20 real holidays:
  • "Christmas isn't in there. I call bullshit." ([08:19])
  • Getty: "Oh, please. The entire country stops for Christmas ... It's like 20% of our economy." ([08:22])
• Both mock the decision to rate Juneteenth (#3) above Christmas and Independence Day.
  • “Juneteenth, S T F U.” — Getty ([10:47])
  • "You could add. I'll bet there's a third of the country that still doesn't even know Juneteenth exists." — Armstrong ([11:05])

4. Satirical Observations & Banter

• Armstrong describes the Washington Post as out of touch:

  "Like so much of progressive America, be clowns itself so skillfully and thoroughly. I shouldn't be annoyed with them. I should be grateful..." — Getty ([08:48])

• On the proliferation of holidays:
  • "There are 5,700 completely made up crap days that nobody even knows exist." — Armstrong ([11:48])

5. Most Common Holiday Themes ([13:34])

• "Dog" is the most used word across made-up holidays; others: "chocolate," "cream," "coffee," "hug," "pie."

• Reads from a list of dog-related holidays—everything from "Doggy Date Night" to "National Dog Theft Awareness Day."

• Odd fake holidays are named and mocked:

  • "Hug a shed and take a selfie day."
  • "Dump your significant jerk Day." ([14:38])

• Memorable Moment

  • "I'm gonna make this a new me. New me, New year, new me." — Armstrong, riffing on the timing of "Dump your significant jerk Day" ([15:38])

6. Armstrong & Getty's Signature Tone

• Throughout, the hosts maintain a sarcastic, irreverent tone.
• They lampoon both the minor holidays themselves and the earnestness with which media sometimes covers them.

Notable Quotes (with Timestamps)

• On fake holidays:

  "This is one of your many jihads... fighting back against national so-called national holidays that are all made up." — Armstrong ([03:19])

• On media bias:

  "Christmas isn't in there. I call bullshit." — Armstrong ([08:19])
  "You suck at your jobs. You suck morally. You have no wisdom. You certainly don't have a sense of humor. You suck." — Getty ([09:51])

• On Juneteenth vs. Christmas:

  "Juneteenth, S T F U." — Getty ([10:47])
  "You couldn't, if you locked yourself in the basement and stuffed stuff in your ears, avoid knowing it was Christmas." — Armstrong ([11:19])

• On the endless parade of "hug" holidays:

  "International hug a deer day. National hug a news person day. Hug a shed and take a selfie day. What the hell is that?" — Armstrong ([12:56])

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 03:06 — Announcement: "Oh look, it's national folding your laundry day."
• 03:19-05:01 — Origin/creation of fake holidays, mocking their rise
• 05:05-07:09 — "Realness score" and the Washington Post article
• 07:09-11:35 — Critique of holiday rankings, exclusion of Christmas, inclusion of Juneteenth
• 11:35-12:44 — Further mockery of holiday rankings and their absurd ordering
• 12:56-15:32 — Parsing and parodying absurd unofficial holidays
• 13:34-14:38 — Most common words in holiday names, dog-themed days
• 14:38-15:42 — Discussion and joking about "Dump your significant jerk Day"

Conclusion

Armstrong & Getty use the excuse of "National Folding Your Laundry Day" to lampoon fake holidays and highlight how unserious and arbitrary most designated "National Days" have become. They mix biting media critique—especially targeting the Washington Post's holiday "realness" rankings—with comic ranting about what deserves to be celebrated. The hosts' playful jabs and cultural commentary make this episode a lighthearted but pointed look at American traditions—real and imagined.

For listeners who missed the episode: expect witty, rapid-fire skepticism about everything from National Jerky Day to the lack of Christmas in the "realest holidays," all wrapped in Armstrong & Getty's incisive style.